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r i s h i k a l i a @ k h a l s a . c o m

26 August 2010
Patient to Doctor:
Aapne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai,
uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gayaa.
Doctor: Jaanta hun..
thappad ki aawaaz mujhe bhi sunaai di thi..

Kashmir ki romantic waadiyon mein,

barfeeli hawaaon mein,
jheel ke kinaare baithe Raanjhe ko
Heer ne kya kahaa..??
Ve moeyaa Hero na ban..
Sweater pehen le.

Teacher to Banta: Tell me five animals living in water?

Banta: Frog.
Teacher: Theek hai, hor das?
Banta: Frog da peo, ohdi maa, behen te wotti..

Ladki pataane ka tarika:

Chupke se uske peeche jaa kar use daraao.
Agar woh hasi to samjho pat gai..
Agar gussa hui to zor-zor se chillao,
Didi darr gayi..Didi darr gayi..

Father to son: Sharmaji ki ladki ko dekha hai,

woh exam mein first aai hai.
Son: Usi ko to dekhta tha,
tabhi to fail ho gaya.

Saddam(Narak mein): Yamraaj ji, mujhe pakistan baat karni hai.

Yamraaj: Karlo.
After the call..
Saddam: Kitne rupae hue..?
Yamraaj: Narak to narak calls free hain.

Na jaane woh humse kya chupaati thi,

kuch tha uske honto pe magar na jaane kyon sharmaati thi,
jab humne muh khulwaa ke dekha..
to pataa chalaa..
woh to gutkha khaati thi!!

Cricketer ka beta: Arre dekho maa..

papa sixer per sixer maare jaa rahe hain!!
Maa: Beta theek se dekho..
advertisement hoga.

Height of Patience:
A naked woman lying under a banana tree
with her legs apart waiting for banana to fall.
Height of Laziness:
A guy lying on a girl
waiting for an earthquake to do the rest.
Height of Competition:
A guy peeing beside a waterfall.
Height of Sophistication:
Sucking nipples with a straw.
Height of Penetration:
A baby girl born pregnant.
Height of Technology:
A condom with a zip.
Height of Frustration:
A boxer trying to scratch his balls.

What is attitude..?
Three ants saw an elephant coming.
1st ant - We'll kill him.
2nd ant - We'll break his legs.
3rd ant - Leave him dude, he's alone,
and we r three.. that won't be fair.

Patient: Aapne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai

uske haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta hun,
chaante ki aawaaz mujhe bhi sunaai di thi.

Doctor paagal se: Yeh chithi tum kise likh rahe ho..?
Paagal: Apne aap ko.
Doctor: Achcha isme kya likha hai.
Paagal: Maalum nahi.
Doctor: Kyu..?
Paagal: Abhi mujhe mili kahaan hai..!

Ek aadmi STD shop per phone karne jaata hai

aur STD waale ko 2 thappad maarta hai. Kyon..?????
Kyonki STD shop ke baahar likha tha,
dial karne se pehle 2 lagaayein.

Ladki ek aisi paheli hai,

kabhi teri to kabhi meri saheli hai,
kharchaa karo to bole- Darling, I love u..
na karo to bole- Bhaiya, who r u..?

Itne kamzor ho gaye hum aapki judaai se..

Itne kamzor ho gaye hum aapki judaai se..
ek din machchar bhi le gayaa,
uthaa ke razaai se!!

Ek aadmi ki 6 ungaliyaan thi,

usse log hanuman bulaate the,
bataao kyon??
Kyonki
uska naam hanuman tha..!!

A man gave advt. in matrimonial column:

"PATNI CHAHIYE"
He got several replies saying:
"MERI LE JAA"

Hansa: AUTOMATICALLY matlab?

Praful: Jab auto mein baith kar koi ladki ganji ho jaaye
to usko kehte hain,
AUTO-MEIN-TAKLI!!!

Dhirubhai calling from heaven..

Beta mukesh apna reliance INDIA moblie kaisa chal raha hai..?
Mukesh: Papa, kuch sunaai nahi de rahaa hai,
aap mere Idea waale number per call karo.

If doctors start making films

titles wud be:
kabhi funsi..kabhi jakham
hum blood de chuke sanam
maine mbbs kyon kiya
ab tumhaare hawaale operation saathiyon
humaara stethoscope aapke paas hai
mujhe kuch kaatna hai
kaho na bukhaar hai
appendix mil gaya
kal patient ho na ho.

Ek Chinti aur Haathi ko Prem ho gaya..

Chinti ke Maa-Baap ne Shaadi se inkar kar diya..
Reason poocha to kaha:
Ladke ke daant Baahar hai!!

Joe: We will soon become rich.

Jill: How?
Joe: Tomorrow my mathematics teacher will teach me
how to convert paisa into rupees.

Who was the first Indian woman

to fly abroad without passport and visa?
Guess?
Sita with Ravan to Sri Lanka.

Boy: Yamraj ji, mujhe waqt se pehle kyun utha liya?

Yamraj: Dimag mat chaat, March mein closing hai,
target poora karna hai.

Policeman: Sir, how did you come to have this accident?

Motorist: Well, the sign just there says, Stop? Look? Listen. and
while i was doing that
the train hit me.

Banana: Why are you crying?

Apple: All of them cut and eat me.
Banana: Poda! You are better than me.
All of them remove my dress & eat me.

Life mein chaahe kitne bhi dukh mile, ghum mile,

apne aansu beh jaane dena, unhe rokna mat kyonki..
ruke hue paani mein hi Malaria wale machchar ande dete hain.