WRITING A DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY ON A PERSON / PLACE / FESTIVAL / EVENT /

EXPERIENCE

Writing a descriptive essay is perhaps more difficult than writing a narrative essay because it
makes more demands on ones use of language. In a descriptive essay, you need to give a
detailed description of a person, place, object, experience or memory. If you are describing a
person, the reader should feel that he knows the person well. If it is a place that is described,
the reader should feel as if he is there and seeing it with his very eyes.

Techniques in Descriptive Writing Person An Unforgettable Person

STEPS
1. Planning 1. Read and understand the question.

2. Identify the area that you want to focus. It is easy to use a mind
map to draft your essay.

3. Brainstorm for ideas. Use 5Ws 1H questions to help you

generate the ideas.

4. Expand and elaborate on the points.

2. Draft a mind map 1. Choose a person e.g. my grandma- Nek

2. Choose the area that you want to focus.

Example : a. General Appearance

b. Non-physical features

c. Why she is unforgettable

3. Use 5Ws 1H questions to help you.

3. Draft an introduction 1. Introduce the person

- background

- how she/he looks like

- impression/ feelings towards her/him

4. Draft the body Detail 1 - General Appearance
a. always smiled
b. hair tied up in a bun
c. twinkling laughing eyes
d. loving hands

Detail 2- Non-physical features

a. Manner of speaking gentle, low voice
b. Habit smiled a lot

Detail 3 - Why she was unforgettable

a. favourite grandchild
b. went for evening walks
c. story-telling time

5. Draft a conclusion Give an opinion cannot forget Nek

6. Writing the essay 1. Use details

Focus on the five senses (sight, sound, smell, taste and touch).
Details are very important and when properly used, enable
descriptions to come to life. Use nouns, adjectives and verbs to
evoke these senses. Nouns and adjectives help the readers
see; verbs help the readers feel.

2. Use a lively tone

Show your own feelings, responses and reactions as these
make your description more vivid and lively.

3. Describe different aspects

If you are describing a person, do not limit your description to
the persons physical appearance. Include a detailed description
of the persons character and personality and how other people
react to him/her. Include a detailed paragraph of an incident
which highlights one of these aspects.

7. Checking 1 Read your essay once through and check for the
following things:
Is the spelling accurate?
Is the punctuation appropriate? Did you use too many
commas in a sentence?
Did you vary the sentence structure? Are your sentences
too long?
Does one thought follow the next in a logical order?
Did you stick to the topic?
Did you use the appropriate tenses throughout?
 SAMPLE MIND MAP
General Appearance:
- always smiling
- hair tied up in a bun
Non-physical features - twinkling laughing eyes
- manner of speaking - gentle, low voice - loving hands
-habit smiled a lot
- loved telling stories

Unforgettable Nek

2. Story telling time Why she was unforgettable 2. Watching her lying on
- when- always the bed.
- what she did knitting 3. Favourite grandchild -reaction - held her
- where on her rocking chair. - activities hands
-what she told - How she met - went for evening walks. - watched her
grandpa - took the first step to Neks - saw the ring
- Life in the estate open arms - hugged her
- ran to Nek for help when - cried
mum was annoyed Emotion - very sad
SAMPLE ANSWER

When I first heard that Nek, my grandmother had passed away, I felt numb. It
was as if time had stood still and I was sinking into a bottomless pit. I could not quite
comprehend what mother was saying. No! No! My mind screamed. You are all
mistaken. Nek is just taking a rest.

I sat down on my favourite chair and looked at Neks rocking chair. I pictured her
sitting and rocking away as her knitting needles went click clack. She would smile and
tell me stories of how she met Grandpa and her early life in the rubber estate. She had
to learn cooking from Grandpa and later she became a better cook than him. Now there
will be no Nek to tell me stories. I went over and stroked the chair lovingly. Nek, every
time I look at the chair, I will remember you, your hair tied up in a bun, your twinkling
laughing eyes and your loving hands.

Now, there she was, lying on the bed, on her pillow resting like she always did,
taking an afternoon nap. She had held my hands this morning before I left for school.
So, no, she is not gone. Mother said she died peacefully after her morning walk. I
walked over to her bed and sat where I usually did and held her cold lifeless hand. The
rings that I had always admired and played with were still on her cold lifeless hand.
Unable to control myself, I cried and cried inconsolably. I threw myself over her still body
and hugged her. Why didnt you wait for me to come home from school? I didnt have
the chance to say goodbye to her, my beloved Nek.

I had always been Neks favourite grandchild. We always went for evening walks
together. In fact, when I took my first step it was to my Neks open arms. The first
person I called was Nek. Mother had brought that up many a time especially when I
annoyed her and had to run to Nek for help.

That was three years ago but I can still remember it as if it was yesterday. To the one
person I could never forget Nek, I will always remember you and your advice Be
strong and always believe in yourself. Rest in peace, Nek.....
 COMMENTS

a. Introduction

The introduction is delivered successfully. The readers can easily jump into the
narrators emotions and feel the sadness and frustration of losing Nek.

b. Body

The narrator talks about her memories and plays with the readers emotions. She also
mentions several activities they had done together. The narrator uses expressive
adjectives, verbs and adverbs to express her feelings

c. Conclusion

Very simple, yet memorable

MARK AWARDED =

SAMPLE OF DESCRIPTIVE GRADE A SCRIPT

MALACCA A HISTORICAL CITY

During the semester break, my uncle took me for a holiday in Malacca. It is one of the
regions oldest cities and has a strong historical background. My uncle decided to take me
around the city to help increase my general knowledge and love for my country.

Our first stop was the Malacca Museum. It was inspired by the Sultan of Malacca for
installation ceremonies, official gatherings and state councils. The main building was made of
Cengal wood, one of the most expensive wood, until now. We were very amazed as we had
the opportunity to see the royal musical instruments such as serunai, nafiri, gendang and
gong that produce the haunting sounds of the nobat music.

For lunch, my uncle and I stopped at a restaurant for the well-known Assam Pedas.
Malacca is famous for its hot and spicy dishes that many Malaysians crave for. After the
delicious meal, we continued our journey to discover more fabulous places.

We went to A Famosa, the great fort built by the Portuguese in 1511 when they invaded
Malacca. All we can see now are only the ruins of the fort as it had been destroyed by the
Dutch and British. The magnificent fort used to stretch right up to the hill, where the St Pauls
Church is now located. To reach there, we had to climb the stairs and the scenery was great.
 By evening, I was already tired but my uncle insisted that we went to a few more places
before heading home. We went to visit the Hang Jebat Tomb located near Jonker Street. Jebat
was a Malay warrior and one of Hang Tuahs best friends. They served the Sultan loyally.
Unfortunately, Hang Jebat died a traitor as he went amuck against the Sultan to avenge Hang
Tuahs death. It was rather a sad story.

As we drove to the next destination, we passed by the Malacca State Mosque with
architectural styles from China. It looked very artistic and majestic an awesome sight to
passers-by.

Our final destination was Dataran Pahlawan. It was a busy and popular street market
that was open from morning till night. While we were there, I saw a wide variety of items such
as delicious tidbits and beautiful handicrafts. I made a few good bargains and bought some
souvenirs for my friends and family members back home.

I spent another few days with my uncle in Malacca after that. After enjoying the
companionship and wonderful time with my uncle, I waved him goodbye and returned home by
bus. It was truly an eye-opener, and the trip to Malacca has made me more patriotic than ever.

SAMPLE OF DESCRIPTIVE GRADE E SCRIPT

MALACCA A HISTORICAL CITY

Malacca is a historical city in Malaysia. It is a small state. Many people like to visit this
place during school holidays.

My uncle lives in Melacca. It is a peaceful city. My uncle has a fruit farm in Alor Gajah.
There are many durian trees. There are also many rambutan and mangosteen trees.

During the fruit season, I like to go to my uncles house. We go there by car. My sisters
and brother like to go to Malacca too. It takes 2 hours to reach there.

Once we reach Malacca, my uncle welcome us. He give us food and let us rest. In the
evening we go for a walk around the village. It is a beautiful village. The people are very kind.

The next day, we go to the fruit farm. We eat many fruits like durian and rambutan. My
favourite is mango. It tastes delicious.

At night, we go dinner at Umbai. It is famous of its seafood. There are many dishes like
fish, prawns, crabs and shells to choose. The cook is a very good cook. We really enjoy the
meal.

The next day we go home. I like Malacca and I promise to come again.
TASK:

1. Identify the errors in the above composition and correct them.

2. Improve on the composition by adding further information and details.

Create Your Own Mind Map For These Questions

Person

1. A favourite family member

2. A person who has influenced you a lot

3. Your interesting classmate

Place

1. At the night market

2. The busiest city I have visited

3. My Unforgettable Holiday

Event/ Festival/Experience

1. Hari Raya

2. The happiest day of my life

3. An unforgettable festival
WRITING A NARRATIVE ESSAY
A narrative is a story with a sequence of connected events. It could be about a personal
experience or an imagined event or events.

Techniques in Narrative Writing Write a story beginning with, I could not

believe my eyes

STEPS
1. Planning 1. Read and understand the question.

2. Underline important phrases. Pay particular attention to the

starting e.g. I could not believe my eyes...

2. Draft a storyline Brainstorm for ideas by using the 5Ws and 1H approach and jot
down notes.
Who was the character?
When did the event take place?
Where did it happen?
What had happen?
Why was there a problem?
How was the problem solved?

3. Draft an introduction Who - Main characters e.g. an old friend, Nina

and I
When - One Friday afternoon
Where - At the hospital - medicine counter
(dispensary)

4. Draft the body Flashback to schooldays description of Nina - beautiful girl

What happened? - stopped attending school

What next ? -her mother- diagnosed

with cancer

What next ? - her father remarried father

died

Next? -lived with her stepmother

Next? - cruel stepmother, jealous stepsisters

 Next? -had to work, quit school

Next ? - stepmum was old, took care of her

Ending - went our separate ways

5. Draft a conclusion What lesson you learnt / hoped for

6. Writing the essay 1. Use linkers and phrases which link the events to move your
story in a chronological order. Some phrases that are
suitable :
It was very dark.
I will never forget ..
A few minutes later.
Suddenly,
When the disaster happened, ..

2. Use the past tense forms. Check all the verbs you have
used.

3. Use descriptive language (adjectives, adverbs)

4. Use sensory details to reveal the events and to get the

readers involved. Do not merely tell but show the events
through words and phrases.
Example:
a. I went into the restaurant.
b. I walked into the restaurant.
c. I sauntered into the restaurant.

Sentence a: merely states that I went into the restaurant

Sentence b: gives a little more information as to how I went
into the restaurant.
Sentence c: uses a more specific word to show clearly the
idea of how I went into the restaurant.

5. Use direct speech, but use it sparingly and effectively.

Remember, you are writing a narrative, not a script.

7. Checking 1 Read your essay once through and check for the
following things:
Is the spelling accurate?
Is the punctuation appropriate? Did you use too many
 commas in a sentence?
Did you vary the sentence structure? Are your
sentences too long?
Does one thought follow the next in a logical order?
Did you stick to the topic?
Did you use the appropriate tense of the verb
throughout?
(If necessary, make any corrections neatly.)

Sample storyline

Flashback to schooldays description of Nina - beautiful girl

What happened? - stopped attending school

What next ? -her mother- diagnosed

with cancer

What next ? - her father remarried father

died

Next? -lived with her stepmother

Next? - cruel stepmother, jealous stepsisters

Next? -had to work, quit school

Next ? - stepmum was old, took care of her

Ending - went our separate ways

Sample Answer

Write a story beginning with, I could not believe my eyes

I could not believe my eyes as I saw the skinny lady who was walking slowly towards the
medicine counter. She looked old, haggard and depressed. Something about her seemed
familiar to me, but a younger, happier version. There was no way I could be wrong.

Quietly, she sat on one of the chairs and waited patiently for her turn to collect her
medicine. I suddenly remembered. It had to be Nina, my best friend in secondary school. But
this person looked too old to be only 30. Anyway, I braved myself to approach her. Hearing my
footsteps, she looked up slowly.

You are Nina Kamaruzzaman, arent you?

She nodded her head silently. Hello, Mila. You are looking good.

Her remarks reminded me of how beautiful she had been once. Nina had been the
school beauty. Everyone had admired her for her looks, her brains and her beautiful character.
Everyone teachers, girls and not to mention,the boys. But she never took anyone for granted.
She was humble and nice to everyone. That was why we were so close back then.

One day, Nina had stopped coming to school. No one knew where her family had gone
and why they had left so suddenly. The only thing I knew was, I had lost my best friend.

Slowly, I took a seat next to her. I was anxious to know what had happened to her.

Why did you leave so suddenly without any warning, Nina? Why?

She looked at me nervously. I could sense that she was reluctant to talk and expose a
part of her life. I didnt want to give up this chance. I decided not to let her go until I knew the
story. After a long silence, finally, she started telling me her story.

Her mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer and there was nothing the doctors
could do as it was already at the final stage. They said that she had only two months to live. Her
father decided to return to their hometown, to let her live her last days in peace.

Before she could even recover from the shock and mourning due to her mothers death,
her father decided to marry Mak Cik Senah, their neighbour. Then, the nightmare started. Mak
Cik Senah was kind at first but everything changed two years after her father died.

Tears rolled down Ninas cheeks as she related the difficult years with her stepmother.
Her stepmother treated her badly. She forced her to quit school and to work at a restaurant. The
cruel old lady often beat her. Her stepsisters, jealous of her beauty, were nastier than their
mother.

Now that Mak Cik Senah was old, her five children had left her when they realised that
she needed special care. Despite her stepmothers poor treatment of her, Nina felt sorry for her.
 She has no one else, she said. I have promised to take care of her.

I looked at Nina and saw her goodness. Instead of seeing a gaunt and weary figure, I
saw an amazingly beautiful human being. My heart went out to her. Just then, her name was
called. She got up and collected the medicine which, I knew, was for her stepmother. Her story
reminded me of something my mother used to say,Life is like an onion: You peel off one layer
at a time, and sometimes you weep.

Before leaving, Nina turned and smiled sadly at me. I never saw her again after that. All I
did was, pray that one day she would find her happiness.

COMMENTS

Introduction

The introduction is delivered successfully. The candidate starts by giving a brief

description of a character. There is the element of flashback.

Body

The candidate talks about her/his memories and plays with the readers emotions. The
candidate uses expressive adjectives, verbs and adverbs to express her feelings. She
makes use of sound in the paragraphs to make the situation more realistic.

Conclusion

Very simple. The readers are left wondering what would happen to the character.

MARK AWARDED =

Create Your Own Storyline For These Questions

1. Write a story ending with....... I promised myself, I would never lie again.

2. Write a story ending with...... she knew that she had lost her best friend

3. Write a story beginning with .....Kim was shocked when she heard the news.....

4. Write the story beginning with... Darren looked at me and smiled.....

WRITING OPEN COMPOSITION

Open compositions usually have one or two-word titles on general topics. Since they are open
topics, students can write on any aspect about these topics.

Writing an essay entitled Internet

STEPS
1. Planning 1. Read and understand the question.

2. Identify the format of presentation like :

a. story format

b. narrative format

c. argumentative format

d. descriptive format

e. reflective format

f. expository format

3. It is easy to use a mind map to draft your essay.

4. Brainstorm for ideas. Use 5Ws 1H questions to help you

generate the ideas.

5. Expand and elaborate the points.

1. Choose a format argumentative to write on the pros and

2. Draft a mind map
cons of the Internet

2. Choose the area that you want to focus.

3. Use 5W1H questions to help you.

1. Introduce the Internet

3. Draft an introduction
- background
 - definition

4. Draft the body Detail 1 Advantages of the Internet

a. you can send and receive instant electronic
messages
b. any kind of information on any topic under the sun is
available on the Internet
c. we can also download software from the Internet.

Detail 2- Disadvantages of the Internet

a. your personal information can be accessed by other
people
b. pornographic sites on the Internet can be easily
found

5. Draft a conclusion Give an opinion conclude the topic

6. Writing the essay Clear explanation of the topic.

7. Checking 1 Read your essay once through and check for the
following things:
Is the spelling accurate?
Is the punctuation appropriate? Did you use too many
commas in a sentence?
Did you vary the sentence structure? Are your sentences
too long?
Does one thought follow the next in a logical order?
Did you stick to the topic?
Did you use the appropriate tense of the verb throughout?
(If necessary, make any corrections neatly.
 Sample Mind Map

Can send and receive instant Any kind of Download software

electronic messages information is - How?
- How? available - What for?
- What for? - How? - What effect
- What effect? - What for?
- What effect

Advantages

Internet

Pornographic Disadvantages Personal infomation can

be accessed by others
- How?
- How?
- What for? - What for?
- What effect? - What effect?
SAMPLE ESSAYS

Internet

The Internet or the World Wide Web is indeed a wonderful and amazing addition in our
lives. The Internet is known as a kind of global meeting place where people from all parts of the
world can come together and share everything they want. It also makes our lives easier than
before. All you need to do is just a click on the computer mouse. However, where there are the
advantages, there would be the disadvantages of using the Internet.

One of the things that you can do via the Internet is e-mail. With e-mail you can send
and receive instant electronic messages. It has taken away the roles of old- fashioned letter
writing. Your messages are delivered instantly to people anywhere in the world, unlike
traditional mail that consumes a lot of time to deliver. There are also many chat rooms on the
web that can be accessed to meet new people, make new friends, as well as to stay in touch
with old friends. For example, we can use Facebook, Twitter and Skype. Some even can do
online business successfully on the internet.

As the world of information is expanding, the need for finding information from the past,
present and future is in demand. This is where the Internet is needed to provide everything you
need. The search engines on the Internet, such as Google can help you to find data on any
subject that you need.

Besides, we can also download software from the Internet. This is one of the most
happening and fun things to do via the Internet. You can download games, music, videos,
movies, and a host of other entertainment software from the Internet, most of which are free.

However, there are the disadvantages of using the Internet. If you use the Internet, your
personal information can be accessed easily by other people. If you use a credit card to shop
online, then your credit card information can also be stolen which could be akin to giving
someone a blank check. Besides, pornography is a very serious issue concerning the Internet,
especially when it comes to young children. There are thousands of pornographic sites on the
Internet that can be easily found and can be harmful to children.

All these illegal activities are frustrating for all Internet users, and so, instead of just
ignoring them, we should make an effort to try and stop these activities so that using the Internet
can be much safer. In conclusion, the advantages of the Internet far outweigh the
disadvantages, as millions of people each day benefit from using the Internet for work and for
pleasure.
 COMMENTS

a. Introduction

The introduction is delivered successfully. The definition of Internet is stated clearly.

b. Body

The candidate writes with good evidence and elaboration on each segment.

c. Conclusion

The candidate reinforces stand so that the readers do not forget the advantages of the
Internet.

MARK AWARDED =

Create Your Own Mind Maps For These Questions

1. Music 5. Friends

2. Hobbies 6. Pets

3. Nature 7. Money

4. Memories 8. National Service