Maria Delacruz

11/19/17
English 5M
Revision Summary
The first draft of my research paper was really hard for me to finish. I think this was due
to the fact that there was a lot of different ways in which I could have answered the thesis and I
kept changing my mind. Once I finally decided on the wrote I was gonna take to write the paper,
it wasnt extremely difficult to finish. The first draft was shorter than the required wording, so in
the second draft I went back and elaborated more in areas where I felt it was necessary and that it
wouldnt be repetitive. The length was also one of the things that each peer had mentioned in my
peer review. My peers also noticed that while my paper was based off of the idea that P.I.E was
the most important skill in this class, that I had never mentioned what P.I.E was for those people
that were not familiar with it. I went back in my second draft and made sure to explain exactly
what it was to help any outsider understand. Throughout all of my peer reviews, I didnt receive
much else of what to fix, so I read through my essay again and changed any words that may have
been interfering with the reader's understanding of what I was trying to say. I also fixed any
grammar errors that I saw throughout the paper. I also added more to my conclusion to make it
more clear and made sure it made sense. After going back and reading the introduction again, I
felt as if it wasnt a very strong paragraph, so I explained what the elements were there to ensure
that the reader knows what they are.
Maria Delacruz
11/13/17
English 5M
Research Paper Outline
Intro:
I: According to author Lucille P. McCarthy students make writing within their different courses
more difficult than it needs to be.
I: McCarthy states how learning to integrate the skills they already possess in order to implement
them within the writing required for each class will make the transition between classes easier.
E: This explains a way in which students can use their different skills within various different
discourse communities and not only within an English class.
I: Although each class has different writing styles, all styles share similarities such as using P.I.E
elements within each writing assignment.
E: P.I.E elements are a basic way in which one can structure their essays. P.I.E stands for point,
information, and explanation. Using these elements makes it easier to see how the evidence pro-
vided is backing up the claim that is being made. P.I.E elements are used most frequently
throughout the body paragraphs of the essay, but may also be used in the introduction paragraph.
Thesis: P.I.E elements are the most important skills to master in this class for incoming Multilin-
gual writers.

P: Multilingual writers are individuals that fluently speak another language besides English at
home or have learned English as a second language.
I: According to Professor Ferris, because ML writers learned English at a later age and have had
fewer chances to express themselves academically in English many aspects at a college level can
be more challenging for them.
I: English is considered a writer-responsible language and Ferris supports this in her paper as
she says, it is the writers job to think about the knowledge and expectations of his/her audience
and to communicate in ways that make sense and are clear to the audience.
E: As a Multilingual writer, being aware of the challenges they face individually within their
writing and learning to implement P.I.E elements will make it easier for them to become familiar
with the expectations held within writing at an American college-level. Using these elements will
allow the paper to flow smoothly and will assist with the reader's comprehension of the argument
that is being made. At times, Multilingual writers are not sure how to organize an essay, as they
may be used to organizing it in a different way, so P.I.E helps to give them an idea on an appro-
priate way to structure their ideas into a clear paper.
P: P.I.E elements are helpful tools which can be used as a structure for many writing assign-
ments.
I: Writer Lucille McCarthy believes students have difficulty writing for their different classes be-
cause they believed the writing had to be done differently; however, all shared similarities.
I: McCarthy assures students they are not the only ones who feel lost within their writing as she
says, writing in college is viewed as a process of assessing and adapting to the requirements in
unfamiliar academic settings.
E: One way in which students can make the transition of writing for their different classes easier
is to use the P.I.E elements. The elements are a great tool to have to help ease some stress as the
formatting is easy to follow because it holds the information that almost every writing assign-
ment requires. Using the elements also helps you to keep all the ideas you have organized.

P: In this class, one way in which P.I.E elements are present and serve as one of the biggest tools
are all through the reading responses.
I: Reading responses consist of reading a passage and then writing about a one page response
that illustrates the understanding of the main ideas found within the passage. This assignment is a
prime example of how the elements can be beneficial when writing in any style.
I: The way the reading responses are formatted are exactly how the P.I.E elements are meant to
be used. This format is meant to make writing the reading responses easier for students.
E: By organizing the reading responses in this way, it ensures the claims made are being support-
ed with the evidence that is found within each reading. It also helps the reader understand the
argument of the author as the format allows the paper to flow smoothly. Although it does follow
a specific order, it does not constrain the writer from sharing their ideas freely and voicing their
own opinion on the reading. At first the reading responses may seem like a difficult task, but the
more that get done the easier it gets to know how to clearly state ideas.

P: P.I.E elements are the structural base that can be used within each major writing assignment
assigned during the duration of this course.
I: The most obvious paper that has actively incorporated the P.I.E elements is the research paper.
In order for the research paper to be successful, students have to be willing to put in the time
needed to find sources with good information that will help to support their thesis which is one
of the main ideas behind using this method to write.
I: Without even knowing it, P.I.E elements were also used to write the rhetorical analysis.
E: The rhetorical analysis is designed in a way in which the elements can also be implemented in
order to make the claim clear and strong. Because a few essays were written before the elements
were introduced to the class, the papers may be lacking organization and missing some compo-
nents. It is however evident that as students get more familiar with how to integrate each aspect
of P.I.E their writing skills will also improve. Becoming familiarized with this method will not
only be helpful to know in this class, but in every class where an essay is required.

Conclusion: Though this class has many skills that could and should be learned and used
throughout the course of the semester, P.I.E elements are the essential skills which benefit Multi-
lingual writers. By becoming aware of the skills one already posses and making them stronger,
implementing all the components an essay must have will become gradually easier for students
who are unfamiliar with how essays are written within the American college-level writing. Stu-
dents tend to not be confident in their writing abilities which leads them to believe that they are
not capable of writing papers in many different styles. Once they become confident their writing
abilities are more versatile than they think, they will have no problem with using their skills to
their advantage.

Works cited
McCarthy, Lucille P. A Stranger in Strange Lands: A College Student Writing across the Curricu-
lum. Research in the Teaching of English 21.3 (1987): 233-65. Print.
Ferris, Dana. Multilingual Students and College Writing. Student Writing Handbook, 1st ed.,
Sacramento State University, 2009, pp. 2327.