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Brenda Alvarado

Professor Beadle

English 115

7 December 2017

The Ladder of Improvement

Improvement is an award of countless effort and dedication applied to a certain area. Success

is an example of improvement, which is what I have gained from English 115. At the beginning

of my first University level English course, I was completely unprepared and unaware of the

standards that were expected from my writing. My writing skills were basic and they met regular

university standards, which is good, but not great. Through various Learning Resource Center

visits, professor office hour appointments, and multiple drafts, I have drastically improved my

writing skills with a main focus on my thesis creation.

A thesis is the most important element to an essay, which is why it is critical to go above and

beyond when composing one. During the first weeks of class, we reviewed thesis creations and

the key elements that make it up. Thesis Statements should answer multiple questions like, who,

what, where, when, how, and why. I was nervous when it came to composing a thesis because

from a weak thesis, comes a weak essay/argument. As I progressed in the course, my thesis

improved and became effective. In the beginning of the course, we were assigned an essay

named, Project Space, which asked the writer to reveal the monstrous aspects of a particular

space. I decided to use a hospital as my space and reveal injections, illness, and oxygen masks as

the monstrous aspects. This was my first essay composed in this course and my thesis was not

properly written. When I wrote my first draft, I stated, At the spark of an illness, a hospital is

where humans, for example myself, are held captive until cleansed for return to the outside
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world, but at the same time newborn babies are cleansed for their entrance to the outside world.

Clearly, this thesis statement did not respond to the prompt at all proving it to be ineffective. I

decided to take my essay to the Learning Resource Center and confide in them for their help.

Right away, they told me my thesis was lacking content and gave me various suggestions on

what to include. After my LRC visit, I proudly wrote, Through these monstrous aspects

inhabiting this space, the fear of always having to come back for a cure, as well as being

consumed by an illness and leaving behind loved ones is revealed. It took multiple drafts of a

thesis to finally achieve the right one, which is why drafting is one of the skills I value. Drafting

has been an important contributing factor to my improvement in this course. It allows me to pour

my ideas onto paper and erase or contribute what I find necessary.

The second out of the three projects was named, Project Text, which asked the writer to

compare two films and argue if the monster in the film changed, stayed the same or in between.

It also asked to consider why these changes or similarities were significant. I decided to argue

that the monster had changed through foreign interaction, weapon improvement, and methods of

termination. In my opinion, this revealed the fears and anxieties of the country affected. This was

my second essay composed in this course and my final thesis improved greatly, as stated by a

comment from my professor. Before achieving this thesis statement, I had composed, Through

the Godzilla films, changes over the years were spotted, including appearance, government

collaboration, and methods of termination resulting in the fear and anxieties of Japan. For this

essay, I took my draft to my professor and asked him to review it for me. He congratulated me

on my thesis improvement, but told me he knew I could work a bit harder on it. Once I left, I

dedicated hours to drafting my thesis and made up a total of five thesis statements before

selecting the right one. After visiting my professor and reviewing his feedback, I thoughtfully
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wrote, Through the 1954 and 2016 Godzilla films, we can spot the change over the years of

debut, foreign interaction and government collaboration, technology and weapon improvement,

and methods of termination; which in turn resulted in the fear and anxieties of the population, as

well as the reconstruction of Japan. Visiting my professor allowed me to discover what I was

lacking in my thesis statement, which gave me a learning experience and helped me achieve a

higher grade. In my first thesis statement, I didnt clarify which films I was comparing and my

sentence structure was poor. In my final thesis statement, I stated what films were being used and

improved my sentence structure by adding commas and changing some words.

The last project we did in English 115 was named, Project Media, which asked the writer to

relate a monster to a current issue in America. I decided to relate aliens to the issue of racism by

definitions and acts of discrimination. This was my last essay in this course and I felt passionate

about my thesis because I only made two drafts before deciding on my final one. I composed this

thesis by myself with no help and I believe that it made my argument very strong. For this essay,

I wrote, Through the negligence of aliens, immigrants, and people of color, racism is defined as

a clear factor, which in turn reveals the discrimination of others appearance and origin all

throughout American society. After having gone through two projects, the third project was

easier for me to do. I had gathered all the suggestions from the previous essays and applied them

to this final essay. I used my drafting skills and I made sure to answer all of the questions that the

thesis needs.

In the beginning of the semester, I made a goal for myself to improve my thesis creation.

Now, at the end of the semester I can excitingly say that I have achieved my goal. I couldnt

have done it without all the resources available to me and the drafting skill I developed. The

LRC visits and professor office hours allowed me to catch my mistakes on time and fix them. A
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good writer is one that grows and improves his or her writing. A growth mindset is what helped

me develop into a better writer and improve my writing skills. As I go on further with my

university courses, I wish to keep improving as a writer and continue to utilize the resources

provided for me.