Memorandum

TO: Professor Karen L. Thompson

FROM: Reagan Haney
DATE: September 1, 2017
SUBJECT: Project 1

In this memo I analyze my writing skills in a research paper I wrote about Coumadin. This paper
was written for Professor Jacobson for Chemistry 299. The sections below analyze how precise,
concise, and direct the research paper was.

Writing Concisely
It is important to write concisely so that you can meet your audience needs by using only words
that are necessary.

Writing lard This essay was found to have a lot of lard in it just to reach a word count. It
is clearly demonstrated in the following sentences:

This drug is needed to aid in preventing blood clots so that people with a history
of blood clots dont run into the problems that are associated with them. These
complications can be deadly, since blood clots block blood from flowing to vital
organs.

The first sentence should have the highlighted sectioned removed. Merging the first and
second sentence would also make the flow better. Both talk about the problems/
complications of blood clots. These sentences are not concise and contain a lot of fluff
words.

Dead Phrase There are not a lot of dead phrases present in this essay.

Levels of Specific Detail If I was trying to reach an audience that had little background
in science then I would have needed to be more specific in the blood clotting explanation.
I use a lot of scientific terminology that not a lot of people are familiar with.

Writing Precisely
To write precisely means to use appropriate language and terminology for the audience.

Jargon There is a good amount of inappropriate jargon present in this essay. People with
little background in science would not be able to understand some of the words such as:

o nucleotide ADP
o eicosanoid
 Reagan Haney Memorandum Report 2

o collagen
o platelets
o phospholipids

This kind of jargon would also need appropriate definitions used to define the
terminology so that my audience can follow along without confusion.

Blood coagulation, also known as hemostasis, is the process that occurs to form
a blood clot and is essential to keep one from bleeding out.

The above sentence demonstrates writing precisely explaining biological terms that most
people do not know. The rest of the jargon in this essay should have been defined in the
same manner this sentence was.

Writing Directly

Strong Nouns convey one of the five senses and helps a reader easily visualize what is
trying to be described.

He discovered that the cows were eating moldy silage that led to the cows
bleeding to death from minor injuries.

This sentence demonstrates the use of strong nouns and helps the audience a good visual
of the consequences of moldy silage.

Strong Verbs are very specific and demonstrate a descriptive action.

On June 28, 1939, Harold Campbell managed to discover, and isolate,

dicoumarol from the clovers

This sentence is very straight to the point and uses strong verbs to convey exactly what
Harold Campbell did.

Active or Passive Voice Active voice is needed to help readers avoid confusion. Active
voice mean that the subject of the sentence is doing the action while passive voice is
when the object being acted upon is the subject.

However, these concerns were eased when a man attempted suicide by taking a
large dose of warfarin rat poison and was successfully treated with an excess
amount of vitamin K.

I think this sentence demonstrates effective use of active voice as we can see the man was
the subject of the sentence and he was the one doing the actions.

Coumadin drew attention when it was used by President Dwight Eisenhower

after he experienced a heart attack.
 Reagan Haney Memorandum Report 3

There is a little bit of passive voice that occurs in this sentence because coumadin is the
object of the sentence being acted upon by President Eisenhower.

Topic Position This is a sentence at the beginning of a paragraph that lets the reader
know what topic the paragraph will be covering.

The discovery of dicoumarol lead to the making of a more potent anticoagulant

made from coumarin.

Here is a good example of topic position. I let my audience know in the beginning of the
paragraph I will be discussing how discovering dicoumarol made an impact on producing
an anticoagulant. I then go into detail about the history.

Stress Position Placing emphasis on the importance of your topic at the end of sentences
helps the audience figure out the point you are trying to make.

Although coumadin may have a few side effects, it is still a very good anti-
coagulant.

I feel that the stress position is very poor in this sentence because I am trying to stress
that coumadin has risks that come when you take it but that shouldnt stop you from
consuming it if it could improve your health. I would change the highlighted part into just
risks to help get the point across. I would also place more emphasis on how coumadin
has helped save lives.

Conclusion
A lot of this essay was written in a hurry because I did not give myself enough time to write.
This memorandum has helped me recognize how important it is to write with prose style and to
also allow myself more time for writing. I hope to be able to take from this memo and apply the
concepts to future writings to help improve my writing abilities.