Ortiz 1

Kimberly Ortiz

Professor Batty

English 028

7 November 2017

Female Sexuality Expression

Many parents have beliefs that prevent their daughters from expressing their sexuality.

These beliefs are based on strict parenting, religion, gender and culture. Strict parents tend to think

that by allowing their daughters to express themselves in such a way will lead them to do worse

things in life. They also find it humiliating, especially when done in front of them and believe their

daughters might change from a good personality to a bad one. Parents have certain religions where

they believe expressing ones sexuality is wrong, and goes against everything they believe in. At

times, daughters may be disowned or forced to cleanse themselves from their sins. Parents

with certain gender role and cultural beliefs dont allow women to have much freedom in terms of

their expressions and they arent viewed as the sexual ones. In addition, women must act a certain

way in some countries, whereas men may act however they please. This is all wrong, I believe

women should have the right to express their sexuality no matter what cultural beliefs stand in

their way because women are entitled to believe in what they want and be whoever they want to

be.

In the novel, How the Garcia Girls Lost their Accents, the author, Julia Alvarez writes

about the sexuality expressed by the Garcia girls after they migrated from the Dominican Republic

to the U.S. Throughout the novel, their father, Carlos, continuously calls them whores because he

believes they are not behaving as Dominican women would. Carlos seems to be a strict father with

many cultural beliefs. In the beginning of the novel, he finds love letters that belonged to his
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youngest daughter Sofia. When he found them he went to argue with her and yelled, Has he

deflowered you? Thats what I want to knowAre you dragging my good name through the

dirt[!] (Alvarez 30). He argues that his daughters sexual interactions with men are of low status

and therefore ruining his reputation. In another occasion, he once again was put to shame by Sofia

when he was kissed sexually at his birthday party. The narrator stated, He tore at his blindfold as

if it were a contagious body whose disease he might catchHis face had darkened with shame at

having his pleasure aroused in public by one of his daughters (Alvarez 39). He thought of this act

as humiliating and was once again furious at his youngest for pulling such an act that he described

before as a destruction of his image. Sofia is the most experienced in relationships. She was

described by the narrator as very plain, but she was still the one with the experience and advice

about relationships (Alvarez 28). Sofia is also the one that expresses her female sexuality the most,

usually to make her father angry after she met her husband and ran off with him. The narrator says,

The youngest daughter was the first to leave homeThe woman had not been without a boyfriend

for more than a few days of her life (Alvarez 29). Sofia always had a boyfriend and has always

been expressing her sexuality, but her expression is what helped her find her husband and helped

her make her own personality and life. Another one of the Garcia girls, Yolanda, is known to be

the calmest, but she too expresses her sexuality. For example, when her and Sofia were promised

clay by their cousin Mundin to have them take off their pants and panties and promised a human

body doll to keep them shut (Alvarez 235). They were very young when they did this, but every

sexual act always is what makes them become who they are in the future and for Yolanda, shes

the calm one. Such expression is usually seen as an act that would have a person grow into a

trouble maker, but not in this case. Another example is when Yolanda says, Id had a couple of

lovers. I was on birth controlCatholic or not, I still thought it a sin for a guy to barge in five
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years later with a bottle of expensive wine and assume youd drink out of his hand (Alvarez 102-

103). Yolanda was dating a lot of guys but knew her limits. Many women can express their

sexuality reasonably and not chaotically to fulfill the expectations of those with beliefs that prevent

their expression, meanwhile, fully understanding their self-identity.

Although many may think female sexuality is shown in extreme expressions, women

shouldnt be prevented of doing so because they need to find their self-identity. My friends family

is Christian, and they wouldnt let my friend dress with clothes that expose even appropriate body

parts. I agree that they are just trying to protect her especially now that people accuse victims of

their own rape because they were showing a bit too much. She was not allowed to date or flirt, and

was not allowed to go socialize at any events or parties. My family base their beliefs on

Guatemalan culture and have certain gender role expectations. They have certain rules for me when

it comes to boys and relationships. They believe a man should always pay for a date and has the

responsibility of picking me up from my house and bringing me back him himself after and before

a date. I get it, it is polite for the men to be gentle men especially when going out. A woman to

them, is not allowed to do certain things in a relationship before married, if a woman acts before

it is considered a sin. But, how is any woman supposed to know who they truly are if their

families prevent them from finding out? Women would love to pursue our own beliefs and want

our families to stop thinking about certain gender roles. We women, want to be able to find our

true and own perspectives of the world and our lives.

Sexuality is a big part in finding ones identity and that sexual behavior is linked to

parenting. In the article, Communication, Sexuality, Defamiliarization, the author describes the

reasons that communication is involved with the prevention of finding ones self-identity.

According to this article, sexuality helps with the learning of future life and preventing expression
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of sexuality, also prevents the learning of that person. The article states, The work that draws me

returns again and again to the question of sexual practice in context (including the practice of the

definition) [.] (Henderson 2479). Henderson believes that many dont truly understand the

definition of sexuality, and when one finally defines it correctly, one can understand the

importance of the practice. Throughout the article, Henderson repeats the idea of being or

becoming queer by understanding a ones sexuality and by communicating. In the article, The

Structural Influences of Family and Parenting on Young Peoples Sexual and Reproductive Health

in Rural Northern Tanzania, the authors conclude research done on a family, and give detail, and

reasons on why people should express their sexuality and what the expression helps with. They

found that sexuality expression helps with ones self-confidence and that ones sexual drive

changes with parenting. They say, For example, in Uganda, young people reported that they were

sexually active when their parents were away or when they were staying with other relatives (Twa-

Twa 1997) (Wamoyi, Wight, Remes 2015). According to their research, sexual drives change

with the presence of authority, because they are afraid of getting caught of such expressions and

judged by that authoritys and their beliefs. They also found that, Both parents and young people

talked about fathers as having a strong economic interest in their daughters sexual relationships

since they would eventually receive bridewealth or fines for elopement or pregnancy (Wamoyi,

Wight, Remes 2015). This represents gender roles where men gain from the womens sexual

practice. This role may encourage a father to decide for his daughter who she should marry when

really, women should decide everything for themselves, especially when choosing the person they

will spend the rest of their lives with.

At the end, many people may still believe some female sexuality expressions are intolerable

or too extreme, but I believe women shouldnt be prevented from expressing themselves. Women
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should be entitled to declare their own cultural beliefs, and follow them as they with to. Women

should be able to find themselves and view the world as they please. Overall, women should be

free to choose anything and be themselves, because women are and should be independent!

Works Cited

Henderson, Lisa. "Communication, Sexuality, Defamiliarization." International Journal of

Communication (Online), 2013, p. 2468. EBSCOhost,

library.lavc.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=edsgao&AN=

edsgcl.352494269&site=eds-live.

Wamoyi, Joyce, et al. "The Structural Influence of Family and Parenting on Young People's Sexual

and Reproductive Health in Rural Northern Tanzania." Culture, Health & Sexuality, vol. 17, no.

6, June 2015, pp. 718-732. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1080/13691058.2014.992044.