ICN event: Focus on writing

Sue Hagues, Internal Communications Manager,

Malcolm Roberts, Internal Communications Officer,
Jamie Coward, Senior Copywriter (Marketing)
Robin Byles, Digital Editor (Marketing)
Headline writing styles
Direct headlines go straight to the point. They
should be clear, concise, and factual.
A news headline is pretty self-explanatory. It
should be factual, clear, timely and in the present
active tense.
The label headline is probably the most
commonly used, especially for reports. This is a
direct description of the content.
Lastly is the how to headline which works
because you genuinely want to learn something.
29/03/2011 The University of Sheffield
Introductions: General tips
Make your intro short and to the point (35 words
or less ideally). Avoid humour or puns
Pick the best, interesting, current, new, relevant
fact in articles this is known as the news angle
Grab the readers interest but dont try to tell
the whole story in one paragraph
Tell the reader the point of the article or paper
Make your audience care about what you are
going to write
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Intro example from THE
A controversial paper that contains unorthodox
views on the lineage of butterflies is today being
held back from print because of question marks
over whether a top academic broke the rules to
get it published.
Its short 35 words, intrigues the reader with
words like controversial, held back and broke
the rules, tells the audience what its about and
makes them care who is the academic, what
has he done, and it is current in that this is
happening today.
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Further information
Handouts on headline styles and story
construction as well as todays
presentation will be available on the
internal communications toolkit shortly at:
www.sheffield.ac.uk/internalcomms/

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Story construction
"I keep six honest serving men (they taught me all I
knew); their names are What and Why and When
And How And Where and Who."

Rudyard Kipling

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The war on drivel

Stand up for better writing

Coming up
Drivel
Georges rules
Other weapons in the war on drivel.

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Drivel
Noun: foolish talk
Verb: to talk foolishly
Synonyms: tripe, twaddle, nonsense,
poppycock, gibberish, hogwash,
gobbledygook, babble, hooey, balderdash
and RUBBISH.

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We are writers
Drivel is our enemy

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Drivel strikes
The Student Staff Forum exists in order that
students can communicate issues or concerns
about the quality of their learning experience
that they feel are important and/or make
suggestions for ways in which course
programmes or modules might be better
delivered and structured. In other words it is
designed to give the student body a voice in the
way teaching is managed and delivered.
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Drivel is defeated
The Student Staff Forum gives students a
say in the way courses are run.

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Our writing should be
Engaging
Clear
Contemporary

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Georges rules
Never use a metaphor, simile or other figure of speech
that you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon
word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything
outright barbarous.
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Never use a figure of speech you are used
to seeing in print.

Metaphor was his Achilles heel.

Coming up with an original simile was like
looking for a needle in a haystack.

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Never use a long word when a short one
will do.
Subsequently = then
Additionally = and
However = but

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If its possible to cut a word out, cut it out.

The Alumni Foundation is able to help

departments buy vital equipment.

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Never use the passive when you can use
the active.
PASSIVE: Luke Skywalker is being trained
by Yoda.
ACTIVE: Yoda is training Luke Skywalker.
PASSIVE: A poem is being written by
Sylvia.
ACTIVE: Sylvia is writing a poem.

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Never use jargon if you can think of a good
alternative.
This unit does not convey any smoking
accommodation.

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This helps you focus
Keep sentences to 15 words
and one or two clauses max.
If you have to break either of these rules,
only do it ONCE in a paragraph.
Paragraphs should be 45 words max.

29/03/2011 The University of Sheffield

Yes we can
Start a sentence with and as in: The event
is open to everyone. And you dont have to
be an expert to enjoy it.
Use fragments in creative writing as in:
Llamas, lions, lizards, lemurs. When will it
end?

29/03/2011 The University of Sheffield

Impact of icy weather conditions
23.12.2010

Due to the ongoing adverse weather conditions, a further

review of the situation has been undertaken. In light of todays
very icy conditions, staff are reminded to take extra care when
travelling to and from work and not to put their safety at risk.
All University services are operating as normal today. Although
extra gritting will be carried out, please do take care when
travelling around campus as it is likely that some areas will still
be icy underfoot.

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23.12.2010
The University is open as normal today.
Please take extra care on campus as it is
still icy underfoot.

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Remember youre a writer
Read
Question
Read again
Keep your tools handy
Give yourself time

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Read
The more you read the better you write.
Read everything: magazines, novels,
poetry, advertisements, even the back of
your crisp packet.
Think about what you read. Be critical.

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Keep your tools handy
Youre a writer. Take it seriously.
Surround yourself with inspiring stuff .
Pin up work youre proud of. Or stuff you
hate.
Keep dictionaries on your desk, or add
them to your favourites.

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Useful links
Download the Editorial Style Guide:
www.sheffield.ac.uk/marketing
www.oed.com
www.thesaurus.com

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Writing
For
The
Web.
Contents
Web addresses
Headlines
Readability
Promoting your content
Good practice
Further reading

http://www.flickr.com/photos/27398485@N08/4079048137/
Web
Addresses.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/hugo/557577/
Web addresses
The web address (alias) of the page you
are publishing
Built based on the structure of your site
Search engines look for words to
determine what the page is about and
rank it accordingly
Ensure keywords are used, eg
www.sheffield.ac.uk/department/news/ni
ck-clegg-opens-solar-farm
Web
Headlines.
Web headlines
Main page title used as browser title in
new CMS, so think about search engines
What would people type to find it?
Be clear and concise
Use keywords (within reason)
Avoid puns
Try to tell the story dont be cryptic
Avoid upper case SHOUTING
Use sentence case, Not Title Case
Readability.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/moosterbroek/3256192540/
Readability
People scan pages on the web so format
the content to make it more readable
Opening paragraph that summarises what
is on the page seen in search results
Keep sentences short
Use paragraphs of three sentences
maximum to group ideas
Short bullet points are easier to read than
listing items in a long sentence
Readability
Use sub headers to show structure
Google uses titles to index content
Polopoly 8 and 9 both have this
functionality:
Polopoly 8 Polopoly 9
Title Title
Major subtitle
Subtitle Subtitle
Minor sub title Minor subtitle
Promoting
Your
Content. http://www.flickr.com/photos/stevensnodgrass/3554441710/
Promoting your content
You have created an article page using the
advice given
Need to link to it from a homepage,
section homepage or newsletter
How you do this is important in terms of
usability and can improve search engine
rankings we use Google search
Up to three things to consider: heading,
promo text and link text
Promoting your content
Heading:
this may be all the
person reads.
Include the main
fact/s, use keywords
and make it eye-
catching
Promoting your content
Promo text:
hook people in to
the article with a
summary of the
content, or ask a
question
Promoting your content
Link text:
make sure this
is descriptive,
telling people
what they will
get when they If not linking to a web
click. Don't use page, tell people. ie
click here. Steelers ticket offer
(PDF, 327KB)
Promoting your content
Good example: Bad example:
Good
Practice.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/courosa/5417001279/
Good practice
Dont make specific references to time
(eg today, tomorrow, last month). Instead
refer to the specific date
Use Plain English and avoid jargon
Keep your writing simple. You can sound
professional without adopting a formal or
pompous tone
Most acronyms should be explained the
first time they are used on each page
Good practice
Generally, it is better to convert PDF
content into a web page thats easy to
navigate and format it for the web
Exceptions:
- document needs to be printed
- content has specific visual appearance
- material is hard to convert in a
meaningful way to a web page
- material is excessively large or complex
Further
Reading.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/linnybinnypix/1189891134/
Further reading
Internal Communications
http://www.sheffield.ac.uk/internalcomms/
CMS Support site
http://www.sheffield.ac.uk/web/effective
Style Guide
http://www.sheffield.ac.uk/marketing/guidelines/publications/style
guide.html
Web Forum uSpace area
http://uspace.shef.ac.uk/community/webforum
Web Marketing
webmarketing@sheffield.ac.uk
Further reading
Recruitment Support
http://www.sheffield.ac.uk/ssd/recruitment/recruitment-support-
guide/pgt-home/generate-enquiries/websites.html
http://www.sheffield.ac.uk/ssd/recruitment/recruitment-support-
guide/pgt-home/generate-enquiries/social-media.html
External sources
Guardian Style Guide blog
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/mind-your-language
useit.com: Jakob Nielsen's website
http://www.useit.com/
Plain English campaign
http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/