ALESA First Draft Essay Peer Feedback Form

Your name: Yukako Honda

Peers name: Soichiro Tajima

Yes No Comments

Is the writers main Although the writer does mention the method of his
argument expressed study, it might be better if the main argument is made
clearly in the clearer.
introduction (thesis
statement)?
The structure is very logical and easy to follow.
Are the arguments in
the essay logically
organized?

The writing uses reliable data to follow its argument.

Are there supporting
reasons for the
arguments (along with
evidence/examples)?
Are the supporting
reasons convincing,
objective, and
plausible?
Are counterarguments
mentioned?
However, there arent enough supporting reasons why
using the support service is effective in dealing with social
withdrawal. If the thesis is that support service is the best
method in approaching the problem of social withdrawal,
the data given might not be enough. Is it because the staff
is professional in dealing with it? A bit of analysis would
make it perfect.
The writer provides reasons that effectively supports the
thesis statement.
There are no counter arguments clearly made.

Is all the writing relevant Everything contributes to proving the thesis.

to proving the thesis
statement? There
should be no irrelevant
or non-essential writing
Does the writer provide There are no in-text citations.
citations in the text (in
the correct format)
when introducing other
peoples ideas or words?