Dear lasa,

Actually Im staring at this blank paper for almost an hour now. Thinking how Ill start this
letter for you. It seems like words arent enough to express how I feel. Lasa, theyre too many
questions that are still unanswered and I am not expecting that those questions will be answered.
I miss you. I miss everything about you. I miss our unending conversation, your genuine laugh,
your corny jokes in short, I miss you. And yet here I am who chose to end everything we had.

Vieb calling, the thumping of my heart instantly increases whenever you call. My heart
skips around my chest when you finally say, Hello., Assalamualaykum. And during our call
you act silly at times but youre blessed with a brilliant mind. Lasa, I will never tell you how to
live even if you make the same mistake, twice. I will never put you down when times are hard,
and yet here I am without having sabr at that time, decided to end everything we had.

Arguing with you was like duelling with hand grenades. I decided to cut off my feelings for
you and wept through the dark corners of my soul and begged for sabr and trust in Allah (s.w.t.)
Qadr, as I messaged you, Lets end this. My mind was floating in an ocean of confusion, when
you didnt even fought for what we have, I sighed and screamed my lungs out, Ya Allah! Ya
Rabb! (O God! O God!) miyaya ba tuud ee Alfad kakuh? Come sweet death and rid me of this
grief, I restrained myself from you, I spent my days prayingI sit alone on my prayer mat, as I
make my sujood, my face touching the ground, whilst making dua, my heart swelled with a sea
of tears. Not hearing your voice nor receive any texts from you, feels like the worst day of my
life. The pain is unbearable. Those were the days I felt like a living dead. I couldnt even act
naturally. I couldnt eat, my tongue tastes bitter. And even when I do eat, I couldnt taste the
sweetness nor the bitterness of the food, anymore. Lasa, I could still vividly remember when you
told me, you wanted to hug me. I regret not grabbing the chance. Because, right now I want to
hug you tightly. I didnt even had the chance to smell your sweet scent nor smell the odor of your
sweat after playing basketball, weird. Lasa, can you hear my broken heart, beat? It still longs for
you, I guess.

I just wish you didnt took me for grantedI know I dont own you, and perhaps I never
will. I know you dont own me, and I shouldnt ask for more; I shouldnt feel so down, all the
times you dont call. What I feel I shouldnt show you, I know Ive no right to feel it but it
doesnt mean I dont. Your words will always stay with me, rayang ku. I still like you, and I will
always will. I miss you.

imane e.