Logan King

Mrs. Jackie Burr, Instructor

English 1010, section 4

5 October 2017

My Desertion

My life as a writer has been, so far, nothing but being a soldier on duty. I am told each

and every day that I am an individual and what I do is a reflection of who I am… then the orders

come in to tell me what the mission is. I came into this duty to create purpose and honor for

myself but that dream is nothing but calenture. My duty doesn’t show who I am so, just as a

righteous soldier, is to escape my mission.

Almost everything I have written for my career of academia has been a dog trying to

jump through hoops to get a treat. When this dog doesn’t jump through the damnable hoops I am

punished. If I jump through I get a treat, just to get another hoop that is even higher for the same

treat. I understand the principle of this rewards and consequences system to progress my skills,

but when it does not personally fit me or make me passionate what is the meaning?

Writing with the rigidity of a grading rubric is like trying to compose a symphony and

someone else chooses what notes go where. It would be impossible to sing in your own key

when other notes are already dictated. Suddenly the music is not what had been imagined. It isn’t

a manifestation of the heart and soul of the composer.

Melinda Haynes, a New York Times bestseller and a member of Oprah’s book club, is

quoted saying “Forget all the rules. Forget about getting published. Write for yourself and
celebrate writing”. How can I ever write for myself if I’m told what to write? I can never

appreciate or love writing if it’s not my song to write.

I perfectly understand how writing with certain trail markers can help amateur writers

learn different styles of writing. It can be extremely beneficial to many if they don’t want to go

on to truly impact the lives of others. There is a difference between creative writing and

academic writing, but when this is not a scholarly journal why suck the creativity, imagination,

and life out of the writers?

Ninth grade, I was assigned to write a small paper about meditation. “Meditation is a

philosophy pertaining to finding an answer to a frustrating problem in your life, or just finding an

equilibrium between your body, your mind, and your environment”. I can easily see that lack of

skill in this writing. I can also see the cognitive dissonance of trying to alternate between lap-dog

and poetic writer. It’s not much in this line, but it’s plenty. The first part is purely a google

definition that I, the writer, replaced a few words to try to make it more personal. The second

piece of the line that goes on to talk about equilibrium isn’t just a young writer that barely

learned a new vocabulary word in their biology class. I have always wanted to write material

with more meaning and impact, but when the instructions were to define the studied material in

one sentence… it gets tough.

Writing has been majorly a school thing for me to suffer through. I can’t describe how

much I have learned about writing through this curriculum because it has worked quite well! I

have learned to write really well… for other people. Not so much people, but more like a random

rubric that must have been written by a robot because it doesn’t contain humanistic traits. I have

NEVER seen a rubric in my whole life, a life full of public school, that ever had the mention of
creativity. Nor a category for passion. I have definitely never seen a column for the impact on the

reader!

This whole strife I have endured throughout my education has always told me to write

“for the reader”. Ensnare them with a hook, persuade them through body paragraphs, and

regurgitate all of the previously mentioned information right back on them in the conclusion in

case their pea sized mind can’t remember what they just read. Instead of “writing for the reader”

how about we write for the writer?

The first thing I ever wrote for me was a small book in fifth grade. I wrote about

teenagers who got involved in a conspiracy through one of their fathers. They obtained suits like

Iron Man and went off to save the world from evil people. Now with my quick description this

sounds ridiculous and even a little silly… the teacher later on called me over to her to talk about

how I may want to go into writing as a career. She told me that the way i wrote was skillful,

amateur, but impactful. Then I went into other classes and I would be docked points because the

paper didn’t follow the rubric exactly.

“She was a symphony of beauty itself, of a composition written and presented for gods”.

This line was from a piece more recent where I was allowed to write more freely. I can see a

difference in writing quality immediately! The whole paper was not all that great but I finally

tasted the freedom of writing. This was after about ten years of public school and their writing

criteria. I did have the taste of liberation in writing when I was in fifth grade, but this was like the

second crack in the chain that bound me.

I have been marching in line, each step falling in beat. As soon as I try to be the soldier

I’ve been told to be and seek out honor and freedom I get beat, and pushed right back into the

platoon. The first time I wrote this paper I was extremely visual, metaphorical, and I did my best
to poetically and philosophically get the point across that I don’t want to be a “people pleaser”

anymore. However, a general or someone else higher up the chain apparently wouldn’t like that

very much and I had to start over... I was pushed right back into the trenches. Greatness comes

with change, but change never happens if everyone is marching in line. A true writer is one who

will step out of line to say or do something daring and meaningful, not follow through each and

every step of the march.

 Works Cited

King, Logan. “Meditation and Transcendentalism”. 2014

--- “The Woman of The Sunset”. 2016

Haynes, Melinda.