BASIC CHRISTIAN COUNSELLING

Four Important Techniques:

1. Listen to your counselees with your ears and hearts and make notes
2. Approach the counselee properly in accordance to his/her temperament
3. Let God’s word speak for you. Their eyes need to see the Holy Scriptures versus you trying to
quote Scriptures.
4. Be professional:
a. Always keep appointments and expect them to keep theirs
b. Be courteous. Treat the counselee with dignity and respect.
c. Dress professionally
d. Do not share your own personal problems ( experiences ok, but not problems).

Ten Dangers and Pitfalls that You the Counsellor Can Fall into:

1. Judging ( By what measure you judge, you will be judged)

2. Self-condemnation (comparing yourself to the counselee
3. Self-righteous (look at me)
4. Pride
5. Depending on your own wisdom instead of the Lord’s.
6. Refusing to release them and let them go.
7. Becoming attracted (physically/emotionally/spiritually)

There are Four Kinds of Love

a. Storage: love that a mother feels for her children/family

b. Eros: lustful love i.e. man longs for the upstairs maid
c. Phileo: love for your nearest and dearest, i.e. your mate (includes emotional, physical
and spiritual bonding)
d. Agape: a sacred love that desires the very best, this does not have any lust or want to
embrace in a physical sense, It desires only good and no harm.
8. Having too much compassion for the counselee.
9. Giving advice and making decisions for them.
You can be sued for:
a. Having sex with client
b. Violating confidentiality
c. Giving advice
10. Spiritual manipulation: Thus saith the Lord move to Washington DC
Thus saith the Lord have a baby.
 Other Primary Pitfalls
1. Coming to depend on you the counsellor rather than on the Lord
2. Falling in love with you (male/female)
3. Failure to follow through:
a. Assignments
b. Keeping appointments
4. Apathy, just do not care
5. Offering resistance to everything you suggest. E.g. Tried that! Doesn’t work)
6. Misunderstanding of Christianity in general.
7. Total unawareness of their needs.

Some Hints:

1. Collect pertinent information

2. Set a plan
3. Collect clues by listening and observing their overt behaviour/ body language
4. Never side with the counselee against another, especially if the other person is not even there
himself.
5. Warn the counselee things could get worse.
6. Pray for your counselees, if possible with them.
7. Encourage your counselee:
a. The Word of God
b. From your own personal experience
c. From third party experiences
8. Keep on schedule
9. Charge them
10. Follow up with a card, telephone call

Four things are very important:

1. Salvation
2. Rejection
3. Depression
4. Forgiveness
e.