THE GENIUS

and
THE COON
DOG
Written by DTYarbrough

A SCIENCE FICTION SHORT STORY

Copyright 2010
All rights reserved
 THE GENIUS & THE COON DOG
Written by DTYarbrough

Jed was standing in the boat holding the pole with both hands. As he used the
pole to push the boat forward, the gumbo clay at the bottom of the shallow
swamp pulled back. Ole Blue looked up from the floor of the boat as Jed grunted
and pulled the pole from the mud. Ole Blue was a blue tick hound and the finest
coon dog in these parts. The sun was setting in the west, and it would be dark
soon. The warm summer nights in the Okefenokee brought out mosquitoes,
lightning bugs and bats. The bugs didn't bother Jed with his homemade insect
repellent. Nothing wanted to get too close to Jed, not even Ole Blue, when he was
wearing that awful stuff.

Jedediah Crook was 19 and still in the 9th grade. He was a handsome boy, but
dumb as a rock when it came to school work. All the girls loved him, and the boys
all looked up to him like a big brother. In the 8th grade he was voted most likely
to succeed two years in a row. When it came to sports or common sense he had
no equal. Being five years older than his competitors may have had something to
do with it. School was out for the summer and Jed and Ole Blue were going coon
hunting. There wasn't much else to do. Most of Jed's friends, his own age, had
summer jobs or had moved away to college. Jed had tried to join the army but
failed the intelligence tests.

Suddenly Ole Blue let out a howl and leaped out of the boat. Ole Blue reached
the end of his chain in a matter of seconds but that didn't slow him down.
Dragging the boat with him, Ole Blue disappeared into the night. Jed found
himself sitting in the murky swamp water up to his neck, the pole still in his
hands. Jed jumped to his feet and yelled for Ole Blue. Jed looked around to see a
gator headed his way, its eyes glistening in the light of the full moon. Jed gave it
a whack between the eyes with the pole and the gator turned and swam away.
Jed climbed a tree to get clear of the water while he checked the condition of his
flashlight. It would take it a few minutes to dry out before he could test it.
Meanwhile he could hear Ole Blue off in the distance. "Sounds like Ole Blue's got
one on the run," he thought. "He'll have a heck of a time treeing it with that boat
slowing him down."

Jed could stay here till morning with nothing to fear but snakes, but he was
worried about Ole Blue. He would chase that coon until he was completely
exhausted and probably drown if he didn't break free of the chain. Jed had raised
Ole Blue from a pup, and he was his best friend now. Jed placed the batteries
back into the flashlight and flipped the switch. It still worked. He wouldn't need it
unless clouds blocked the full moon. The sky looked clear now. Jed climbed from
the tree and headed in the direction of the last howl.

The going was slow because of the muddy bottom and the knee high water.
Jed heard another howl, and it sounded closer. "Ole Blue turned him and has
headed him back this way," Jed thought. "Good dog." Normally Jed would wait
until Ole Blue cornered the coon up a tree, but that was unlikely in his present
situation. Jed didn't care about the coon. He just wanted to get Ole Blue and his
boat. Jed heard another howl and recognised it as Ole Blue's signal that the coon
was treed. Now Jed had to do the running.

A large coon could maul an untrained dog. Ole Blue was well trained but still
at a disadvantage. Jed walked as fast as he could. The howls were getting closer
as well as another sound Jed had never heard before. It was a combination of a
screech and a baby's cry. It was almost completely drowned out by Ole Blue's
howls. Jed had never heard a coon make this sort of noise. Just what did Ole
Blue have up a tree? "Ouch. What bit me?" Jed thought as he grabbed his neck.
"A mosquito." The repellent had gotten washed off when he fell in. Another
reason to hurry. There was more repellent in the boat.

As Jed neared the tree, the screeching, crying sounds continued. "Hush Blue.
What have you treed?" Jed shined the flashlight in the direction of the sounds.
The animal was on the other side of the tree and had a bear hug on the main
trunk. Its arms were visible, and it had hands with fingers, five fingers, five
human looking fingers. "Get him Blue...." As Ole Blue began howling, Jed circled
around the tree. When Jed reached the other side, he shined the light into the tree
again. "What is that?" Jed thought.

Suddenly Jed knew what it was. He could hear a voice in his head asking for
help. It was an alien, a space alien, a child, and it was frightened. "Hush Blue. Get
in the boat." Jed yelled. Jed could tell his yelling had frightened the alien even
more. "We won't hurt you. Come on down." Jed said to the alien. "Where are your
parents?" Jed suddenly got an image in his mind of a part of the swamp he
hadn't visited in years. He knew that the alien had gotten lost right after sundown
and had wandered away from the others. Running from Ole Blue had confused
him even more. He was utterly lost.

"Come on down. I know the way. I'll take you home." Jed said. The alien slowly
climbed down from the tree. As it got about three feet off the ground, it reached
out its arms toward Jed. Jed reached out and picked up the alien. It couldn't have
weighed an ounce over 40 lbs. It was about 3 feet tall and completely hairless. It
was greyish in color with black lidless eyes. It was naked except for a pair of
short pants. It had five long toes with webbing between them. There were slits
where its ears should be, possibly gills. As it smiled, Jed could see multiple rows
of razor sharp teeth. If Jed hadn't known it was smiling, this would have been
quite frightening. How did he know it was smiling? Jed didn't know how, he just
knew it was happy and meant him no harm. "Come on. You'll have to make
friends with Ole Blue." Jed thought. The alien jumped out of Jed's arms and
began to climb the tree again. "You read my mind." Jed said. "It will be okay. Can
you talk to Ole Blue?"

Jed suddenly knew that dogs were not advanced enough mentally to
communicate in that manner. "Well, I'll have to talk to Ole Blue and tell him you
are our friend," said Jed. "What's your name?"

"In your language, the closest thing would be Joshua," the alien thought.

"Okay, Joshua. Stay here a minute, and then do as I say," said Jed.

Jed walked over to the boat and found the mosquito repellent and put some
on. Then he grabbed one of Ole Blue's biscuits out of the bag. Jed handed it to
the alien and began to pick Joshua up. The alien backed away and made a
fanning motion in front of its nose. "You don't like the smell either," said Jed.
"Well walk on over toward the boat and toss the biscuit to Ole Blue. Don't get too
close at first."

The alien took a few steps toward the boat, and Ole Blue stood up and began
to growl. The alien tossed the biscuit into the boat. As Ole Blue chewed on the
biscuit, Jed climbed into the boat and began rubbing the dog's head while
holding tightly to the chain. "Come closer. Do what I'm doing," Jed said.

The alien moved closer and began rubbing Ole Blue. "Here, give him another
biscuit," Jed said as he handed the biscuit to Joshua. In a few minutes Ole Blue
was willing to tolerate the newcomer.

Jed stood up and grabbed the pole and began moving the boat toward the
area of the swamp that the alien had shown him. "Why are you here on Earth?"
Jed asked.

"We needed to make repairs, and this was the nearest habitable planet. We
would have been gone long ago, but we've run into some problems. Maybe you
can help," Joshua thought.

"How can I help?" asked Jed. "I don't know too much about repairing space
ships. Just what I've seen on Star Trek."

"I'll let the elders explain when we get back to the ship," thought Joshua.

Just as the sun began to rise Jed stopped the boat. "We're here, but I don't
see any spaceship," said Jed.

"I'll let them know we're here," thought Joshua. "It's me, Joshua. This is my
friend Jed. He's willing to help us with our problem."

Suddenly from beneath the surface of the water, a ship slowly rose until the
top surface was just above the water level. A cylinder continued to rise in the
center of the disk shaped craft. Then a door opened in the cylinder. "Follow me,"
thought Joshua. "Bring Ole Blue if you want to, but you'll have to keep him tied."

As they entered the craft, they were met by a slightly larger alien, "Thank you
for helping Joshua. He tells us you are willing to help us with our ship repairs."

"Just call me Scotty. We'll have her up and running in no time," said Jed.

"You don't understand. We don't want you to repair it. We can do that. We
need your help to find the proper replacement fuel," the alien thought.

"What kind of fuel do you need?" asked Jed.

"That's the problem. We don't know what's available on this planet," thought
the alien.
 "Well, don't look at me. I'm no rocket fuel scientist," said Jed.

"We've hooked into your communication systems and have full access to all
human knowledge. However, since we can't translate it, we can't use it. We've
been able to transfer bits and pieces directly into our minds, but we have so little
spare room in our minds, it could take centuries to find the right information.
You, on the other hand have an abundance of unused space. You could store the
entire database, and then you could answer our specific questions," thought the
alien.

"Will it hurt?" asked Jed.

"We don't think so. We'll do it while you sleep and when you wake up, you can
answer our questions, and you'll be free to leave whenever you're ready," thought
the alien.

"Well, I am pretty tired. I could use a good night's sleep. Are you ready to
start?" asked Jed.

"We just need to make a few adjustments. We'll have to slow down the
transmitter to adapt it to your brain. Feel free to look around while you wait,"
thought the alien.

"Can Joshua show me around?" asked Jed.

"I'd be glad to," thought Joshua. "Let's go. It's a big ship and there are so
many things I want to show you. We don't get visitors every day. In fact, you're
the first one."

"Why are you guys so far away from home? Just what do you do out there in
space? Do you have a prime directive? Can this ship do warp 10?" asked Jed.

"Slow down. One question at a time," thought Joshua.

"How fast will it go?" asked Jed.

"It cruises at warp 7, but we can push it to warp 9.5 if we have to," answered
Joshua.

"Do you have a prime directive?" asked Jed.

"We're not allowed to give our technologies or technical knowledge to the

residents of other planets," answered Joshua.

"What about what you're about to do to me?" asked Jed.

"We're giving you knowledge that already belongs to your race," answered
Joshua.

"What is your prime mission?" asked Jed. "To seek out and discover new
civilizations?"
 "No. It's to seek out and discover new zoo specimens," answered Joshua.

"You're not going to put humans in a zoo, are you?" asked Jed.

"No. Intelligent beings are just too much trouble. If we can read their minds,
then they don't qualify. Also, there's no mystery if you can read their minds,"
answered Joshua.

"Can I see some of the animals you've captured? I mean animals from other
worlds," asked Joshua.

"Sure. They're grouped according to the star system where they were
captured," answered Joshua. "Would you like to see some from the other planets
and moons in your solar system?"

"What! You have life from other planets and moons nearby?" asked Jed. "But I
thought earth was the only planet with life around here."

"That's what they all say," replied Joshua. "Here we are. Life from one of
Jupiter's moons."

"Wow! How did you ever capture that one? It's huge and moves so quickly, I
can hardly tell how many legs it has," said Jed.

"Tranquilizers, usually. We don't want to harm them with traps," replied

Joshua. "In a few years, I'll be old enough to go on the hunts."

"Do you find intelligent life on many other worlds?" asked Jed

"Well, I'll have to admit that earth is unique in that area," answered Joshua.

"I thought so," said Jed. "We are special."

"Yes, earth is one of only a very few worlds with only one sentient race. It must
be terribly lonely and boring. I mean with no interspecies competition. That
probably explains your slow development," replied Joshua.

"Oh," said Jed.

"Joshua, please bring our visitor to the medical area. We're ready to begin the
procedure," said a voice in Jed's head.

"I'm sorry. Tour's over for now. After the procedure, we can continue if you
wish," thought Joshua.

"That would be great," said Jed.

---------------------

Jed awakened from the best sleep of his life. Feeling completely rested, he
could hardly wait to start the day. Then Jed remembered what the alien had told
him. He was to receive all of humanity's knowledge. He didn't feel any smarter. He
didn't feel different at all, except for being rested and eager to continue the tour
with Joshua.

Jed looked across the room and saw that the alien doctor was studying some
papers. "Good morning," said Jed.

"You're awake. Good. I'll get Joshua, and he can help you find some
nourishment before we begin the questioning. Go ahead and get dressed. He
should be here in a few minutes," thought the doctor. "How do you feel? Any pain
or discomfort?"

"I feel great, but no smarter than I was yesterday. Did the procedure work?"
asked Jed.

"We'll know soon enough. Enjoy your meal and we'll talk later. I've got to finish
preparing the questions. They must be in the proper order and stated with
precision in order to get the best answers," thought the doctor.

"Good morning, Jed," thought Joshua as he entered the room. "Are you
hungry?"

"I'm so hungry I could eat a ... " Jed hesitated and said. "How about you? Do
you eat breakfast?"

"I'm not familiar with that food item. Is it tasty?" thought Joshua.

"That's what we call the first meal of the day," said Jed.

"We only eat one meal a day when we first awaken," said Joshua. "How do you
find time for other meals? Our only meal takes about 3 hours to consume."

"Fast food, I guess," said Jed.

"Here we are. Tell the cook what you would like and he will create it for you,"
said Joshua.

"I'd like three eggs over easy, grits, bacon, toast, orange juice, and coffee,"
said Jed.

"What is the chemical composition of this meal?" asked the cook.

Before Jed realized it, he had rattled off the complete list of chemicals and
their proportions. "I didn't know I knew that," Jed thought.

As Jed and Joshua walked over to their table each carrying a huge bowl of
what looked like oatmeal, Jed said, "I'll need something to wash this down."

"Be right back," said Joshua. He soon returned holding two cans of diet soda.
"Hope you like this brand."

As Jed opened his can, it began to foam over. "Warm soda," Jed thought as he
held it to his mouth to catch the foam.
 "Is something wrong?" thought Joshua.

"No. It's fine. Let's eat," said Jed.

Joshua had ordered the same thing as Jed. He seemed a little hesitant to dig
in, so Jed began first. "Not bad. I've never seen it prepared in quite this manner
but ... not bad," said Jed.

Joshua took a bite and smiled. "This is tasty. If I thought it was good for me,
I'd have this every meal," thought Joshua. "Especially the soda."

"When your ship is repaired, will you guys be leaving immediately?" asked
Jed.

"I'm afraid so. We're way behind schedule," said Joshua.

"That's a shame. I would have liked to take you coon hunting," said Jed.

"One experience with coon hunting was quite enough," said Joshua. "Nice of
you to offer though."

"Will you ever be back this way again?" asked Jed.

"Not likely. It's a little off our normal traffic lanes," replied Joshua.

"Excuse me while I get another bowl of this wonderful food. Would you like
some more?" Joshua thought.

"Maybe a little more. I told you I was hungry," said Jed.

They talked as Joshua finished off two more bowls and three more sodas.
"Where does the little guy put it all?" thought Jed. As Joshua stood, the question
was answered. "That's some beer belly," said Jed.

"Let's get you back to the medical area. The doctors should be ready by now,"
thought Joshua.

---------------------

"How did it go, Jed?" asked Joshua.

"Okay, I guess. They got the answers they were looking for. Answers I didn't
know I had. They tell me I have to leave now so they can be ready to go when the
scout ship returns with the fuel. If you could help me find Ole Blue, then I'll be
saying goodbye," said Jed.

"He's already outside. He's been taken on a morning run. They'll be back soon.
Unless they're out of range, they already know we're leaving soon. Let's find your
boat while we wait for Ole Blue," said Joshua. "I want to enjoy the outdoors a
little longer before our long space flight."
 As they exited the ship, Jed spotted the boat still tied where he had left it. As
soon as he reached the boat, he quickly applied more of the mosquito repellent.
In the distance he heard Ole Blue's howling. "They're heading this way. Well, I
guess this is goodbye," said Jed.

"Good luck on your next coon hunting trip," said Joshua. "Sorry I can't join
you."

Jed looked up to see Ole Blue running full speed, pulling two aliens behind
him. They were holding onto the chain for dear life, their webbed feet acting like
water skis.

Ole Blue jumped into the boat and the aliens coasted to a gradual stop.
"Whoa! Joshua, you have got to try this," thought the two aliens.

"There's no time. They're leaving and so are we. You guys had better get
inside and check in. I'll be there in a minute," thought Joshua.

"Well, it's been a real pleasure. Blue and I are gonna miss you," said Jed.

"I'll think about you often," said Joshua. "Be safe and happy."

"Be safe and happy, yourself," said Jed.

As Joshua reentered the ship, Jed used the pole to push the boat in the
direction of home.

---------------

"Mom, what's for supper?" Jed yelled as he entered the house.

"Come on in here and sit down until Jeopardy's over, and I'll cook
something." answered Jed's mom.

"You know I don't like those game shows. I never know the answers," said
Jed.

"This one's a rerun. Maybe you've seen it before. Tell me all about your coon
hunt," his mom replied.

Jed sat down on the couch beside his mom. Just as he was about to tell his
mom about the hunt, Jed heard a question on the TV. Jed blurted out the answer
without thinking and then began his story. Jed answered another question from
the TV. "So what did Ole Blue tree?" asked his mom.

"I'll tell you later. Let's watch Jeopardy," said Jed.

Jed answered a couple more questions. "I don't know why you want to watch.
You've obviously seen this one before," said his mom.

"I'm gonna need to take a trip into town tomorrow. You got any gas money I
can have till I can pay you back?" asked Jed. "I may be gone for a while. I'm
gonna get me a job."

"Sure, honey. Now you go take a bath before that smell peels the wallpaper off
the walls. Your supper will be ready shortly," mom said.

----------------

"What kind of job are you gonna get, son?" asked his mom as she passed the
biscuits.

"I gonna get me one of them jobs where you use your brains," said Jed.

"Good lord, honey. What makes you think you would want one of those jobs?"
his mom asked. "Besides, it couldn't pay much if you're qualified."

"Well, I learned a few things on that coon hunt last night, and I can't wait to
find out what," said Jed.

"What have you learned?"

"Yep. I'm gonna find out."

"Find out what?"

"Yep. Well, I had better feed Ole Blue and hit the sack so I can get an early
start tomorro,." said Jed.

"That boy must have hit his head when he fell out of that boat. He ain't got the
sense God gave a piss ant," mom thought. "God bless his soul."

-----------------

Next morning Jed was up with the sun. After packing a few clothes into his
GTO, he opened the car door and let Ole Blue jump in. As Jed drove off, he turned
to Ole Blue. "Want to go see Mandy?" Jed asked. Ole Blue had his head out the
window and didn't answer.

Mandy was the smartest and prettiest girl Jed knew. She could help him find a
way to used his newfound knowledge and maybe even earn some money. Mandy
was away at State College. Jed hadn't seen her since he kissed her goodbye at
the bus station last summer. Jed and Mandy had been friends since Jed's first
year in the 6th grade.

Jed pulled in to the only gas station in town that would be open this early.
"Hey, Jed. Watz up?" asked Freddie. "Fill er up?"

"Yeah, and check the oil and tires," said Jed.

"Check 'em yourself. What do you think this is, full service?" asked Freddie.

"I'm headed up to State College. Gonna see Mandy," said Jed.

 "Tell her I said hi," said Freddie, "and if you see Violet, tell her I'll be up this
weekend."

"I will if you'll check the tires," said Jed.

"Deal," said Freddie.

In a few minutes Jed was on the freeway headed north. He could hardly wait to
see Mandy again. He still remembered the times they went skinny dipping at the
old rock quarry when they were both 15. He taught Mandy how to swim after she
almost drowned, and he had to save her life. He should have called her, but she
wouldn't mind the surprise.

In a couple of hours, Jed had to stop for gas. His supercharged GTO was not
what you would call fuel efficient. He should have gotten more money from his
mother, but he knew she gave him all she could afford. State College was only
another hour away. He could stay with Mandy until he found a job.

Jed drove up in front of the apartment house. There was Mandy's red VW. Jed
tied Ole Blue to the front bumper of the GTO. "Be right back, Blue," Jed said as
he walked toward the apartment. "Room 222. Here it is," Jed thought as he
knocked on the door.

"Hello. What can I do for you?" said the redhead that opened the door.

"Is Mandy Johnson here?" asked Jed.

"Who's asking?" asked the redhead.

"Jed... Jed Crook. We're old friends," said Jed

"Mandy! There's a Jed Crook here to see you," she yelled. "I'm Freda. Glad to
meet you, Jed Crook."

"Hi," said Jed.

"Jed. What a wonderful surprise? How are you?" said Mandy as she threw her
arms around Jed.

"Fine. Look at you. You're prettier than I remembered," said Jed.

"And you just get more handsome every day," said Mandy. "What brings you
to State College?"

"I need your help. Something really weird has happened to me, and I need your
advice," replied Jed.

"Come on in. Tell me all about it. How can I help?" said Mandy. "Is that Ole
Blue? You bring him in here. It's too hot to leave him out there."

"Mandy!" said Freda.

 "He's housebroken. Why don't you go see Roger for a while so Jed and I can
talk about his problem."

"Talk... sure... I know when three's a crowd," said Freda.

"It's not like that. We're just friends," said Mandy.

"Whatever," said Freda as she walked away.

Jed and Ole Blue entered the apartment and Mandy closed the door. "What's
this all about?"

Jed told Mandy the story about the aliens.

"If it was anybody but you, Jed, I'd say they were lying. You'd never lie to me so
you must really believe this is true," said Mandy.

"I know it's true," said Jed.

"So, tell me something to prove you're smarter," said Mandy.

"It doesn't work that way. I don't know what I know. You have to ask me a
question," said Jed.

"They must have stored the knowledge in your long term memory," said
Mandy.

"I knew you'd understand. You always were smart," said Jed.

"So you can answer any question I ask you," said Mandy.

"I was able to answer all of the aliens' questions and all those questions on
Jeopardy," said Jed.

"Jeopardy. The aliens watch Jeopardy?" asked Mandy.

"No silly, Mom does," said Jed.

"Let me go on line and find an IQ test. This will only take a minute," said
Mandy.

"I'm a slow reader. Is there gonna be big words?" asked Jed.

"I'll ask you the questions," said Mandy. "Okay?"

"OKay," said Jed.

Mandy asked Jed about three questions and paused. "This is amazing, Jed.
Let's try some more."

After completing the test, they checked Jed's score. "You're off the chart,
Jed." said Mandy." You really do have all that knowledge in your head. That's so
fantastic. You don't feel any smarter?"

"Well, maybe a little bit, now that you mention it," said Jed. "But nowhere near
as smart as you."

"I couldn't have answered all those questions. Let's do another kind of test.
Let's check you aptitude," said Mandy.

"See what kind of job I'm qualified for," said Jed.

"That's right. Here ... this looks like a good test. Are you ready?" asked
Mandy.

"Is that the first question?" asked Jed with a serious look on his face. Then
Jed began to smile.

"Very funny, Jed. Hey... wait a minute. You never made a joke before. You
never got a joke before. You are getting smarter," said Mandy.

"I'm ready," said Jed.

---------------

"You didn't miss a single question. You qualify for any job you want," said
Mandy. "This test wasn't designed for someone with your ability. We need to find
some other way to find you a job."

"I think I've got the hang of this internet stuff and I can read a little better
now," said Jed.

"Here, you check it out while I fix us something to eat," said Mandy. "Just let
me know if you need any help."

While Mandy was busy in the kitchen, Jed took several more tests. "Tests are
fun when you know the answers," said Jed.

"Don't start another test. Be ready to eat in about five minutes," said Mandy.

Jed turned off the computer and sat down at the kitchen table. "I still don't
know what to do. I have no idea what kind of job I want."

"Give it some time. Important decisions are worth thinking long and hard,"
said Mandy as she sat down. "You're changing. I've seen changes in the little
time you've been here."

"There's the doorbell. It's probably Freda. Why doesn't she just come on in,"
said Mandy. "I'll get it."

"NSA. Agents White and Wong. May we come in?" asked the men in black as
they showed Mandy their badges.

"What's this all about? Why are you here?" asked Mandy.
 "Someone used your computer to take some tests on the internet. Was that
you, ma'am?" asked Agent White.

"No. I didn't take any tests on the internet. Is there a law against taking
tests?" asked Mandy.

"May we come in, ma'am" said Agent Wong.

"Okay. Is this going to take long? We just sat down to eat," said Mandy.

"Continue with your meal. Do you mind if we look around?" asked Agent
White.

"Do you have a warrant?" asked Mandy.

"Things will go easier if you cooperate, ma'am," Agent Wong replied.

"Fine, look around. We've got nothing to hide," said Mandy.

"Who is your friend?" asked Agent White.

"This is Jed Crook, an old friend from my home town," said Mandy.

"Jed, did you use the computer to take tests on the internet?" asked Agent
Wong.

"Sure. I knew all the answers," said Jed.

"And where did you get those answers?" asked Agent White.

"I can't tell you that," said Jed.

"I'll have to ask you to come downtown with us," said Agent Wong.

"I can't leave without Blue?" said Jed.

"Blue? Is that you, ma'am?" asked Agent White.

"No. He means Ole Blue, his dog," said Mandy.

"We're not taking a dog along. Your friend will have to take care of your dog,
unless you want the dog pound to pick him up," said Agent White.

"Then I'm not going," said Jed as he took another bite of his mashed potatoes.
"And it was Agent Wong's turn to speak."

The agents drew their weapons and ordered Jed to place his hands behind his
back. Jed took another bite of his mashed potatoes. "You'd better do what they
say," said Mandy. "I don't want to see you get hurt."

Jed placed his hands behind his back and Agent Wong placed the cuffs on
him. "Stand up and walk toward the door," said Agent White.

"How long are you going to hold him?" asked Mandy. "What are the charges?
Where are you taking him?"

"Here's my number. You can call in a day or two, and we may be able to
answer your questions," said Agent Wong as he handed Mandy his card. "A lot
depends on how cooperative he is."

"I'm not going to cooperate unless you bring Ole Blue," said Jed.

--------------------

As the agents brought Jed into the questioning room, a third agent walked in.
"Here's the check we ran on the suspect. Looks like you guys picked up the
wrong one," he said.

"Let me see that," said Agent White. After studying the report for a few
seconds, he handed it to Agent Wong. "Jed, is this true? You're still in the ninth
grade?" Jed just sat there like he didn't hear.

"You might as well run a check on the other one, Amanda Johnson," Agent
Wong told the third agent. "Agent White, you go back to the apartment and pick
her up, and bring the darn dog."

--------------------

Two hours later and Jed was still sitting in the questioning room. "You're
going to stay here until you answer our questions," said Agent Wong."Are you
ready to talk?" Jed yawned and otherwise ignored Agent Wong.

The door to the room opened and Mandy and Ole Blue walked in, followed by
Agent White. Jed looked up as Ole Blue ran across the room and stopped at Jed's
side. "Mandy, why are you here?" asked Jed as he rubbed Ole Blue's head.

"Your guess is as good as mine. How are you? Are they treating you okay?"
asked Mandy. "Do you have any idea what this is all about?"

"Sit down Miss Johnson, and we'll all get to the bottom of this," said Agent
Wong. "It's obvious that one of you took the tests. What we want to know is how
did you get your hands on the answer sheet."

"Me? What makes you think I had an answer sheet?" said Mandy.

"Well, you don't expect us to believe that Jed broke through our level 10
security system and stole the answer sheet right off our web site," said Agent
Wong.

"We didn't use an answer sheet. Jed took the tests and answered the
questions without any outside help of any kind," said Mandy.

"So why did he refuse to tell us where he got the answers?" asked Agent
White.

"That's complicated, and you wouldn't believe it anyway," said Mandy.

"You expect us to believe that this boy, who couldn't get through the eight
grade without three tries, answered every question on our test?" asked Agent
Wong.

"I'm telling you the truth. Test him for yourself. You'll see I'm telling the truth,"
said Mandy.

"We could give him that new test for special agents. Neither the test nor the
answer sheet has ever been placed on the web," said Agent White. "Would you
be willing to take a test, Jed?"

"I like to take tests," said Jed.

"Go get a copy of the test," said Agent Wong. Agent White returned in a few
minutes with the test.

"Here you go, Jed. Here's a pencil. Begin now," Agent White said as he
pressed the stopwatch.

"Are you going to time me?" asked Jed.

"Yes, the clock is running," said Agent White.

"Should I hurry?" asked Jed.

"Yes. Please begin," said Agent White.

"Could I have a glass of water?" asked Jed.

"Okay, I'll get you one. Just start the test," said Agent White.

Agent White returned in a couple of minutes and set the glass down on the
table. "Why aren't you taking the test?" he asked.

"I'm finished," said Jed.

"Agent Wong, did you see him take the test?" asked Agent White.

"Well, I was talking with Miss Johnson. He didn't leave his seat. I'm sure of
that," said Agent Wong.

"Okay, let me see what you've done, Jed," said Agent White as he compared
Jed's answers to the answer sheet. "How is this possible? You answered them all
correctly."

"I just have a knack for tests," said Jed.

"Don't get smart with me, young man. Do you know who you're dealing with?"
said Agent White.

"Agent Leonard Elmo White, graduated from State College and went right into
the police academy. Spent four years as a beat cop, then joined the agency. Three
more years and you'll probably retire to your summer home in the Rockies near
Denver with your wife Janice," said Jed.

"Elmo! Your middle name is Elmo!" Agent Wong laughed. "You're free to go.
We can't hold you. There's no law against knowing the answers," said Agent
Wong.

"Wait at the front desk. An officer will give you a ride home. Sorry for the
inconvenience," said Agent White. "Don't leave town. I have a feeling we'll be
seeing more of you."

--------------------

"How did you do that test so fast?" asked Mandy as they reached the front
desk.

"I told you I'd gotten the hang of reading," said Jed. "It just gets easier and
easier and I'm getting faster and faster. I think I'm getting smarter. I'm beginning
to think up my own questions?"

"That's great. Maybe you'll be able to figure out what to do with all this
amazing knowledge," said Mandy. "You may discover a cure for the common cold
or warp speed or who knows what."

"Agent White said I can't leave town. I don't have enough money for a place to
stay. I've got to find a job fast," said Jed.

"I can make room for you at the apartment until you get on your feet. That will
give us more time together to work on your problem," said Mandy. "You don't
have to rush into anything until you've had plenty of time to think about it."

"You always were my best friend," said Jed. "I've really missed you since you
went off to college."

--------------------

"I just don't get it. There has to be some trick. Nobody could answer all those
questions correctly. I couldn't even read them in the time it took him to answer
them," said Agent White.

"Pay attention. We're gonna sit here and study this video tape until we do
figure it out," said Agent Wong. "There ... what's he doing?"

"He's petting the dog. But how did he get that information about me?" asked
Agent White. "We'd never met before today."

"Elmo ... That's so funny. Your name is Elmo," Agent Wong snickered.
 "It's not that funny. Where is he getting his information?" said Agent White.

---------------------

When they got back to the apartment, Freda was back. "Where have you guys
been? Both of your vehicles were still here. You couldn't have been walking the
dog that long."

"We've been downtown at the National Security Agency. They had a few
questions they wanted to ask us," said Mandy.

"NSA? What sort of questions? Are you in trouble?" asked Freda.

"Just a misunderstanding. It's been straightened out," said Mandy.

"Well, I was worried about you," said Freda. "I thought Jed had kidnapped you
or something."

"Jed wouldn't hurt a fly. That reminds me, Jed is going to be staying with us
for a while. He can't leave town until NSA says so," said Mandy.

"I thought you said that was all straightened out," said Freda. "And the dog.
What about the dog?"

"He's staying too," said Mandy.

"I didn't sign up for this. If Roger will let me, I'm going to move in with him,"
said Freda. "At least until things get back to normal."

"Suit yourself. This is only temporary. They won't be any trouble," said Mandy.

--------------------

"This isn't getting us anywhere. There's nothing suspicious on this tape. We

should drag them back in here until they can explain themselves," said Agent
White.

"Shut up and restart the darn tape," replied Agent Wong.

--------------------

Freda had talked to Roger and returned to the apartment to get a few things.
"I'm sorry you have to do this. I hope we can still be roommates when this is all
over," said Mandy.

"That depends on how things go with Roger," said Freda as she opened the
door. "We'll always be friends. Let me know how it goes with the NSA."

"Well, it's just you and me. Just like when we were kids," said Jed.

"Those were good times, Jed," said Mandy. "We had so much fun. I had such a
crush on you."
 "You did. I never knew that," said Jed. "I think I'm starting to feel that way
about you."

"Don't be silly, we're just friends," said Mandy.

"Yeah, I know. But I get these funny feelings when I look at you. I never
realized how beautiful you really are. And not just on the outside," said Jed.

"It's getting late. You can have Freda's room. Let me get you some sheets and
blankets," said Mandy. "I'll bet you're starving. We'll see what in the fridge after I
fix your bed."

"I'll bring in the dog food and my stuff from the car," said Jed. "It's so nice of
you to let me stay."

--------------------

The next morning, Jed was awakened by Mandy in the kitchen. She was
making breakfast. Jed got dressed and entered the kitchen. "How did you sleep
last night," asked Mandy.

"Not so good. I laid awake most of the night thinking. Having all this great
knowledge in all those various fields of study has given me a surprising insight. I
can't tell people all that I know. It would be disastrous to the economy. If I find a
cure, I put researchers out of work. 95% of all important discoveries are made
accidentally and are completely unrelated to the field of research. Even if the field
of research is completely unnecessary, it may lead to other far more important
discoveries," said Jed.

"So what are you going to do?" asked Mandy.

"I need to get a job in a non-competitive field. Otherwise I would have an unfair
advantage over my competition. It's no fun when it comes easily. I was all state
tackle and running back three years running. I was so much older than my
competition that I had an unfair advantage," said Jed.

"What kind of job do you have in mind?" asked Mandy.

"I'm still not sure, but I don't want a 9 to 5 job either. I'd like a job that would
leave me free to travel," said Jed. "An important job with lots of freedom and
good benefits."

"You are getting more intelligent. I'd like a job like that," said Mandy. "I'm
seeing you in a whole new light."

"Is that good?" asked Jed.

"We'll see," said Mandy.

---------------------
 Months later, Jed and Ole Blue are coon hunting. "Ring ... ring ... ring."

"Hello. Jed here .... Hello Mr. President .... Well Sir, they have 1700 ICBM's
pointed at North America ... No Sir. Only one is pointed at the White House, but
that would probably be enough. Of course they can reprogram the others in a
moment's notice ... Didn't we discuss this last week ... Yes Sir, I know you have
other things on your mind and can't be expected to remember the little details ...
How are things going, Sir ... Two under par after four holes. Way to go, Sir ... 34
holes? Oh ... Well, you are under a lot of pressure, Sir ... Sir, I've got to take this
other call. It's my wife Mandy ... It was nice talking with you too, Sir."

"That man will talk your head off if you give him half a chance," Jed thought as
he took Mandy's call.