Hanna 1

Apocalyptic Anxieties

Written by Christian P. Hanna

 Hanna 2

Christian P. Hanna

Expository Writing

2/22/2018

Apocalyptic Anxieties

The legitimate likelihood of a nuclear attack first left me in a state of anxious awe. The

simplicity of this mode of annihilation predicated on the simple push of a button coupled with

the historical precedent of nuclear weapons being used in combat sent me down a path of

anxious research and intrigue into understanding how to comprehend living in the shadows of

nuclear weapons. I had watched a documentary about the bombing of Hiroshima which

recounted a minute long whistle before the bomb landed on the city. The documentary has

escaped me in time, and the concept of whistling bombs/planes is a complicated frequently

falsified idea. However, the idea became married with my anxieties over nuclear annihilation.

Late night worry over the whistling of aircrafts departing and arriving at the nearby Trenton

airport took over for the earlier childhood worrying of the possibility of a home invasion, both

fears pointing to some of my earliest obsessive anxieties. I eventually grew out of the whistling

worries after I began to understand how nuclear attacks would be carried out by missiles instead

of by bombs in this century. The character arc present in this transition from fear to a quest for

enlightenment to vanquish that fear. Is an arc I would become more an more increasingly aware

of later in life. I came to understand the power behind information bias, misinformation, and the

danger of constant retrospection. However, the possibility of nuclear armageddon has stayed

with me in the form of vivid dreams. Dreams where I am surrounded by family with an attack

imminent on the United States. Dreams where no one around’s mood changes following the
 Hanna 3

news, and no one will listen to my screams of warning. Dreams where the anxiety over my death,

the death of my family, and the death of any chance humanity’s survival, grows greater and

greater. The dreams culminate with the most vivid of images I have ever seen in any dream of

the resulting mushroom cloud of a nuclear explosion followed by an uncanny warmth across my

whole body. This embrace of death always throws me awake sweating, heart beating, angry at

the state of the world through the lens of my dream. Anxious dreams are commonplace for

anxious individuals, but the stunning visual realism of the situation, the non-outrageous nature,

and the striking similarities with the first hand accounts of survivors of the bombing of

Hiroshima provide the dreams with a greater symbolic nature to unpack. I feel a foreboding

depressing confirmation when reading the accounts of survivors published by Time magazine, in

their remembrance, “After the Bomb.” I have discovered by own capability to empathize through

the anxiety, pain, and fear of others through works with a heavily investable deep subject matter.

A blessing and a curse that at times leaves me immobilized by the weight of the situation, but has

the ability to compel me to action with manic dedication.

 Hanna 4

At first glance the image above is familiar. Nearly everyone after the introduction of

compulsory education has experienced running a school drill. Drills become commonplace for

students. Fire drills and natural disaster drills are often secondarily used as an opportunity to

educate students about fire safety and natural weather phenomenon and most students begin to

realize the drills act mainly as reprieve from school work for 15-20 minutes during the day. As

the world begins to become more cognizant of threats to students safety more safety drills have

been implemented, like active shooter drills. These drills hoping to ensure the safety of students

against violence are far more difficult to explain to an anxious young person then the “accidents

happen” or “out of our control” explanations that can be placed on fire or natural disaster drills.

The image above depicts an extreme case of this dilemma. An example that has begun to be lost

to the public consciousness and elevates the danger to a cataclysmic scale. The students are

performing what is known as a duck & cover drill, to be performed in the event of an impending

nuclear attack. The students are instructed to stand lined up against the wall, fleshing out the

dimensions of the brick wall surrounding them. Each student with their hands covering the backs

of their heads, faces pointed to the ground. The pose of the children parallels the universal sign
 Hanna 5

of yearning, the fetal position. The fetal position always marking a stage of human life where we

are powerless to effect our own survival. We are at this moment reliant on others for protection.

The children in the photo are also uniquely subordinate to the drill’s safety guidelines.

This subordination is actually a point of great contention that arises as the viewer begins to digest

the narrative behind the photo. The characteristic subordination of the children takes on a

completely understandable reasoning if the purpose of the imagery is to stand in as informational

material for teachers to administer the drill with their students. In this context the students would

be standing in as ideal actors of drill safety supporting the safety precautions the government has

lain out for them.

However, if the image is instead seen as a time capsule of Cold War everyday reactions, the

children are no longer acting as ideals of drill safety, they are reacting to the reality of running a

drill, which acts as ritual to be played out upon the immediate end of civilization as we know it.

Imagine running an active shooter drill, but having to explain to the children that a weapon of

immense power was about to level an entire city wide area. Only being able to provide them with

the consoling protection of a brick wall and their hands above their heads. I find that exposing

these ideas to children as a direct reflection of the completely morally horrifying reality of the

atomic age. This possible harmful exposure was not lost on the Cold War American government.

Through atomic safety PSA’s, like the famous ​Duck & Cover​ video and the above photo, the

government began to paint a face of assurance and calm on the nuclear threat. In short, the

United States government told white lies to assuage atomic anxiety.

 Hanna 6

The social contract, as laid out by political philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau in his

1762 book by the same name, establishes a relationship with which individuals relinquish their

freedoms in exchange for protection by an institution. This idea is the basis of all state structures

in human history, but was made the foundation on which the United States’ relationship to its

citizens was built by the founding fathers in reaction to the tyrannical exploitation of the English

monarchy. The idea of arbitration is important to understand when we live our lives abiding by

the social contract. An arbiter is a name for one with ultimate authority in a matter. The opposing

governments who holds the power to end billions of lives with the choice to launch a nuclear

arsenal. The missile silo operator who holds the power to act or not act upon their countries

decision. The governments who hold the power to decide how public buildings’ inhabitants are

to act in this sort of event. The teachers, who hold the power to follow the plan through or not.

The children, however, are not arbiters. They are the subjects; in many ways they are all of us in

the face of certain death, or in regular life as a whole. The thing that sets visual media apart is

that it provides us with one final arbiter, the viewer. Everyone, who looks at the picture, is given

an opportunity to make the decisions. How should each arbiter act? How should the scene play

out? The way we answer questions like that are the difference between being a subject of

existential dread, and an arbiter of it. Arbitration is one of many possible reactions to the gift of

life each sentient individual is given. I believe arbitration in the pursuit of honest reactions and

knowable truths is imperative to guide what we do with the little time we have left. It is also

important to remember that the social contract is only commendable when both parties benefit

from the contract. The invention of the atomic bomb forever complicated this freedom for

protection model.
 Hanna 7

Within the social contract citizens entrust the matters of their protection against foreign

threats to the federal military. In the event of an nuclear attack it was protocol in all public

institutions, during the Cold War, to run one of a variety of duck and cover drills. The concept

behind the drills is rooted in the only two ways of ​minimally​ protecting yourself in a nuclear

war. To put as much distance between you and the blast as possible and to put as much material

between you and the blast as possible. The relatively luckiest individuals in this situation would

be those closest to nuclear fallout shelters constructed with the best available protections (strong

thick steel walls reinforced with concrete) and amenities available for the post-apocalyptic

world. These shelters came with an only slightly increased chance of surviving an all-out nuclear

armageddon. In reality the blasts and fallout associated with the ever increasingly massive and

plentiful nuclear arsenals were too great to be nullified by any protections. The United States

government, the all-time most knowledgeable entity on all things nuclear weaponry, knew the

capabilities of nuclear weapons. Their knowledge did not stop them from continuously telling

“white lies” to the American Public, which began with the very inception of the bomb itself.

The Manhattan Project, which was in development between 1939-1946 and employed

over 120,000 people, was fully understood by less than five key people, not even the

Vice-President at the time Harry S. Truman was aware of the project. The project was top-secret

in part because of national security. If any of the United States’ enemies discovered secrets about

the project they could quickly develop their own arsenal. However, we now know the Nazis were

occupied with repelling the allied forces in Europe, and researching ballistic missiles, not with

nuclear testing; and the Russians, not yet our enemies, would not begin research till after we

dropped nuclear bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Furthermore the development and later use
 Hanna 8

of the bomb was heavily contested morally by the very man who headed the operation to create

it, J. Robert Oppenheimer.

The most powerful weapon in human history was devised by blinded men and women.

The power of the nuclear bomb is a horror that undercuts the United States government’s

position as a protector. The very presence of nuclear weapons not only in the hands of America’s

enemies but present on the planet in any manner, is a threat the government is no longer capable

of protecting its citizens from, at least not with any assuredness. The government was no longer

able to hold up their end of the social contract in regards to a possible nuclear attack. As

knowledge of this inability became more widely understood, the public’s anxiety grew. So, the

government turned again to white lies, and the duck and cover protocol was born.

Contrary to wartime ideas of the Russian people, they were as embroiled in Cold War

hysteria as the American populace, albeit with a less compassionate governing body. The

Russian government administered gask masks to ​some of​ the Russian people for protection
 Hanna 9

during the Nazi invasion, and later for use during apossible nuclear attack. A more pragmatic and

somewhat heartless answer to civil anxiety, that would be ultimately less effective in ensuring

their safety then hiding behind a wall. Documentation of the drills held in Russian state

institutions are eery, foreign, and unsettling. The kind of images that grab the imagination,

somersault the mind, and make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. The kind of image

that is all surface.

Devoid of color both images harkens back to a time before the advent of commercially

available color imaging. The likes of which wouldn’t reach the American masses for another

20-30 years. The influence of the images’ colorlessness does not end with their historical

context. The monochromatic scheme comes to represent the stripping of the exuberance from the

subjects of the photograph. Famous Russian painter, Wassily Kandinsky claimed “Color is a

power which directly influences the soul.” Color is the last piece of the puzzle needed to convert

a image into a reality in our minds. The surface, the exterior of an image including its color, as

explained in ​Understanding Comics​ by Scott McCloud captures the attention of the audience in a

vapid aesthetic manner. An unconscious inclination to like the piece without examining it for

artistic merit. But, without a facade of color or any manner of eye catching surface we are only

left with the core meaning, and purpose of the images, and by proxy the existence of the societal

mechanisms that contributed to the images’ creation. When you peer behind the proverbial

curtain for the image of Russian students you will be met with an uncanny inability to connect

with the subjects, and will be met with a tremendous separation, unlike the photo of American

students which draws on familiar circumstances. A foreign image to anyone living in the western

world, or really anywhere else in the world but Soviet Russia. This alien existence has me
 Hanna 10

clamoring back to the comfort of American lies. The American propaganda, although

manipulative, provides a comfort similar to what would come from a teacher attempting to shield

their students from the tumultuous world adults have handed down to them. The American white

lies feel more human, than this blunt Russian response. The morally just Russian government

leaves people in a place of total horror, whereas the American government deceives the public

perpetuating for them a more placid existence up until the end.

Following the collapse of the Soviet Union came the end of duck and cover drills in the

United States. The U.S. became the sole superpower in the world, and used this position to

attempt to erase the nuclear anxiety from the minds of future generations. Children of the

Post-Cold War era have been spared the big bomb boogie man till they reached a more

appropriate age due to the decline in hysteria. Nuclear capability became a selling point for the

United States’ war on terror, and ultimately led to our contemporary fear of the North Korean

threat, a hold over from the Cold War. The 2018 doomsday clock is set at a time closer to

midnight (an extinction level event) than any time since the Cold War. Clerical errors in nuclear

alarm testing left the civilians of Hawaii, and Japan in an instant panic over a ballistic missile

incoming to their location, in January 2018. How this clerical error took place is fairly cut and

dry, and is hardly worth the Google search. In short, the nuclear warning button is the option

directly above the nuclear warning ​test​ button in a drop down menu. The horrendous error

became an interesting case study in how we react to incoming danger. The situation played out in

three ways on the individual level, overwhelming anxiety for some who sought shelter and

safety; a yearning to bookend their lives with one final reaching out to loved ones; and a blissful

acceptance from at least one Hawaiian, who opted to finish his round of golf. The people had
 Hanna 11

been lied to on all fronts. Their anxieties had just been hidden from them by years of

underplaying the reality of possible nuclear war, and their doom wasn’t impending at nearly the

rate as advertised by the nuclear warning system. Once again the caregiver fed us a white lie for

the greater good, and then exposed their incompetence with the pressing of the wrong button.

The same caregiver we trust with not ending the world by pressing a button, just pressed the

wrong button telling us that the world was coming to an end. Obsessive irrational anxiety, or

honest-to-god human dread? Images of futile activities like that of the duck & cover drill lead me

down a path of wide scope thinking about events with cataclysmic ends. As you begin to unfold

the situation you begin to recognize just how much power is held within simple actions and how

even the most complex struggle with super-weapons can be describe on the plane of simple

human power delegations.

100,000 years of Human existence boiled down to the pressing of a button establishing a

timer of less than a half of an hour until complete annihilation would connect me greater than

anything else to the very essence of who I am. There is a theory in psychology that the purpose

of dreams is to process the information available to a being, and prepare that being to confront

the products of that information while conscious. If we are to believe this theory, I believe that I

and anyone else dealing with anxiety must contemplate this information consciously just like our

brains do subconsciously to develop a sense of self capable of determining what to do in life. In

this space of eternal questioning we are often left with only opinion and speculation, the correct

venue with which to lead with your gut. So let us question. Should we seek to live a life free of

anxiety even if we are living in ignorance? No, the world is a scary place, but I believe through

understanding of the void we can begin to accept its existence. Can we ban together as a society
 Hanna 12

to live with a happy balance of freedom and protection in the nuclear age? Yes, nuclear

disarmament is far down the line, but through a constant tweaking of global/individual policies I

believe we can reach a more perfect union free from nuclear worry. Is art like photography

operating on a spectrum of objective usefulness to society? Yes, I believe effective art begins a

conversation and debate that leads to impassioned individual efforts to change the world around

them. Change begins with humans interacting with each other. We are social creatures who move

forward when we communicate our fears and anxieties, as well as our reasons for living and

greatest achievements. The idea that the relationship between the individual and the group is

anything but harmonious is ridiculous to me. We are a beautiful combination of many ideas of

the individual self and many collective identities. A combination with which outside knowledge

can spark nightmares that connects us with the feelings of others and can be articulated by a

more enlightened self to spark debate with the wider world.

 Hanna 13

Works Cited

“After The Bomb: Survivors of Hiroshima and Nagasaki Share Their Stories.” ​Time​, Time,

time.com/after-the-bomb/.

Bulla, Viktor. ​Pioneers of Leningrad in a Defense Drill​. Stalingrad, 1937.

Kandinsky, Wassily. ​Concerning the Spiritual in Art​. 1910.

Loader, Jayne, et al., directors. ​The​ ​Atomic Cafe​. The Archives Project, 1982.

McCloud, Scott. ​Understanding Comics​. William Morrow, an Imprint of Harper Collins

Publishers, 2017.

Rousseau, Jean-Jacques. ​The Social Contract​. 1762.