Ethics, Career and Business Life

(BUS8300)

Reflection Paper:

Genogram Paper

Submitted by:

Darwin D. Clemente

Submitted to:

Prof. Myrna Joyce O. Sanchez

Part I. Your Family of Origin As A System

Narrate

As a person, I tend to remember more the negative experiences rather than the

good ones although I may confidently say that I really have a lot of good experiences in

life. My reason from remembering more the negative ones is that it helps me avoid

committing the same mistake/s in the future. Through my 28 years of existence, there is

always one incident that I will always remember. It was on one morning back in

September 1987 when I woke up hearing some shouting and banging outside our house

which is located within the family compound of my father’s family. I went out of my room

seeing that my grandmother and grandfather was having and argument with my parents.

Upon hearing their loud conversation, I realized that my grandparents want us out of the

family compound for no clear reason at all and that we have to vacate our house

immediately that day. I can vividly remember the cry of my younger brother who was

then only five years old. Through the mediation of my dad’s siblings, we were still

allowed by my grandparents to stay. However, things only got worst leaving us without a

choice but to vacate our house. It was fortunate that my parents, through God’s grace

and hard work, were able to save enough money to allow us to buy a lot and build a

house over such a short period.

Since then, I didn’t have the same respect to the people who are supposed to

support us yet doing otherwise.

Analyze

 In what way was your family system challenged to change to adjust to this event

and its outcome?

Though the event was very unusual that grandparents would cause such

inappropriate conducts, I have no regrets that such event took place. The said incident

made our family much closer to each other believing that with perseverance and faith in
God, all will turn out well. Fortunately it did, because of what has happened to us, we

started to dream big things as a family bearing in mind that we will not let such thing to

happen again to us. Letting go of our hard feelings to those who have caused us such

hardship early in our family life, we set out to prove that we can accomplish many things

as a family by loving and supporting each other.

 What stage of the family life cycle was your family in at the time? What impact

did the timing of this event in your family’s life cycle have on the family?

Our family was barely taking off during the time when the said incident took place.

Theoretically, my parents are only in their “parenting babies through adolescence stage”

of the family life cycle during that time. My mother was just starting a career with her new

employer that time since she used to teach in a public school in Manila prior to teaching

at Centro Escolar University in Malolos. As regards my father, he was still a government

employee that time prior to his early retirement to start up a business since he realized

that our family won’t go far with his salary as a government employee. My brother and I

are then both in elementary studying at the same school where my mom is teaching

since it was part of her benefits to have her children to study at the university at no cost

at all.

Faced with such challenge and uncertainty early in our family’s life, we had the

realization that we will only be able to face up to the situation if we work together. Since

that incident took place, my father started contemplating on retiring from government

service in order to start up his own business. Fortunately, his decision to retire allowed

him to successfully start up a small business. Knowing that I will soon be helping out my

father as his business expands, I started exposing my self to the business early.

Currently, I am now handling most of the business’ operations concerns, with my brother

more concerned on the marketing aspects.

 Who in the family was/were most affected and why?

 Being caught up in the crossfire, I guess the ones who are most affected are me

and my brother. Apart from the usual situation where grandparents are taking so much

care of their grandchildren to the point of spoiling them, our experience is a lot more

different. With this, we had a lot of confusion going on our mind. Good thing that our

parents took time to still build a good image of our grandparents despite the hardships

they have caused us. Through prayer, we have overcome the hatred and worked

towards reconciliation. However, true reconciliation only took place during the dying

moments of my grandfather who apologized for the mistakes they have committed

against us. It was amazing that God used that moment to even allow me to find the

person who will soon become my lifelong love. If given the opportunity, I would be more

than glad to share to you that story.

 What vulnerabilities and resiliencies did your family system and its members

display in responding to this event?

One thing we realized instantly that time is that it would be very important for a

family to be financially stable. Having without much means that time; we were left

without a choice but to stay in our grandparent’s compound despite the growing

differences, something that has become very traumatic for me and my brother since my

grandparents would often say negative things about my parents and at times would do

other things that would inconvenient us like locking the gate at night in order to prevent

us from getting inside the compound. I remember the many instances that I have to

climb over the fence just to get the gate opened. Because of the importance we give in

our dignity as a person, my parents worked doubly hard just for us to have the means to

acquire a new house.

  What insights have you gotten from reflecting on this event that you can use in

your family life today – either in your family of procreation or in your family – of

– origin today?

This event opened up many realizations for me as an individual and for my family

as well. As a person, I realized that whatever blessing that God have given us should

only be used for the good of others for we can never tell what lies ahead. As the

succeeding events took place, many of my father’s siblings went to Canada as

immigrants leaving my grandparents without a choice but to reconcile with us since no

one will be there to help them in time of emergencies. Later on, when most of their

properties have been already sold out, some of the financial support for their medical

needs has come from us. Little did I know that my parents are trying to teach us

something then about life; and that is no matter what happens, your parents will always

be your parents and that caring for those who have caused you harm is the best way of

making them realize their mistakes.

As a family, the experience have brought us closer to God knowing that every

success, failure, and challenge in life is His own way of bringing us closer to Him. The

said experience also taught us how a family, working together to achieve a common

goal, can be a source of inspiration for each and every member. Though the road to our

family’s success has not been easy, our support for each other and dedication to what

we hope to achieve has made us able to weather off the challenges and set backs that

has come our way. It is very true that a family, who puts God at its center by praying

together and living a Christian life, stays together.

Meanings

Recalling the event that I have narrated provides me new insights as to the

reason why God allowed it to happen to our family. Personally, I may say that our family
could have not gone to where we are right now if not for such difficult times that we went

through early on in our family life. I myself can say that because of such event, I was

forced to make big dreams not only for myself but for my family as well. Along the way, I

learned the value of making personal sacrifices by taking responsibilities at home and

taking charge of most of the responsibilities in our family business even at a young age.

Enact

Thinking about the successes and trials that our family has gone through, I have

learned to make concrete steps in order to realize my personal dreams and the dreams I

have for my family. Now that I will soon be getting married, I have made some concrete

plans for my family which I hope to accomplish. First of all, I tried to find a woman who

can understand my responsibilities at home and one who also shares the same dreams

that I have. Fortunately, God gave me one the first time around and spared me of the

hardship of going through many relationships. Establishing a reasonably stable means of

livelihood was the next thing I worked on after I have graduated. Now, my fiancé and I

are both busy preparing for our wedding after ten years in our boyfriend-girlfriend

relationship. What we had vowed is to make a family that is well centered on God by

living a Christian way of life and making sure that our children will not undergo the same

hardships.

Part II. Genogram Influences On Life Career Choice

A.

Being the eldest in a brood of two, my career choice was not only anchored on

my personal preference but on my family role as well. As a child, I have always wanted

to become lawyer. This came to my mind because of the admiration I had with the

younger brother of my mom who is a well known lawyer in the City of Malolos and later

on became the second highest government official in the city. I developed this interest in
going to law school because I used to stay in his law office after school since no one

would look after me in our house during the time that both of my parents are still at work.

Because of my special interest in legal matters, I would often read law books and ask my

uncle if I was able to understand what I have read correctly. This interest became handy

in the family business. Later on, after finishing my undergraduate study (Business

Administration), I took up a Post Graduate Diploma course in Industrial Relations at U.P.

– Diliman which enlightened me about the legal concerns of HR. Taking up the said

course has proven to be very useful for it allowed me to confidently handle the

H.R./Personnel concerns of our business. Hopefully, it would also be helpful in some

future jobs.

At work, I may say that my parents, most especially my mother had the most

influence on my attitude. Being low profile and result oriented is one thing that I surely

got from my mother. As a teacher, she makes sure that her students are well disciplined,

deadlines are met, and that there is no compromise when it comes to grades. As a

teacher, she had held various positions in the city schools organization of Malolos which

shows the level of credibility and respectability that she is maintaining. She was

treasurer from 2004-2006 and currently the incumbent president. Because of my

parent’s influence, I had developed a good sense of responsibility and dedication to my

work that allowed me to handle the pressures of my work while at the same time having

the time to do community and church service.

Though all of us in the family have a very busy schedule, we always make sure

that we attend Sunday mass together and have the time to at least go to an out of town

vacation twice a year. If finances permit, we sometimes go on an out of the country tour

in order for us to be relieved of the daily pressures of work while at the same time

discussing some family matters. Generally, I may say that our family is living a well
balanced family life; having enough time for work, church and community service, and

leisure, something that I wanted to maintain when I start up my own family.

B.

If there is one thing that I would like to leave behind that I have experienced in

my family of origin is our inability to discuss things without raising our voice. Though we

are basically not fighting or in a conflict, we often end up raising our voice when differing

opinions are being put forward, most especially when making decisions. Another is the

too much formality in the family which is an overspill of my mom’s being a disciplinarian.

One negative effect of such situation is that we were not able to develop openness with

each other. It is rarely that we have light discussions in the family about personal

concerns. Ordinarily, I would only discuss my personal concerns with my girlfriend and

peers.

On the other hand, there are many things which I have learned from my family

that I would want to continue when I start my own family. One is the importance we give

in prayer and going to mass together. I find it important because I believe that much of

our family’s success was achieved by praying together most especially during Sunday’s.

Another is the decision sharing in the family. Through such practice, me and my brother

has become well aware of what’s going on in the family as regards our business and

other family concerns. It also helped us to become matured individuals, in terms of

decision-making even at a young age. Lastly, I want to develop the same discipline and

respect that my parents taught us when time comes that I will be starting my own family.

In all, I am thankful to God for giving us a strong family that has withstood many

trials over the years. Through time, it is my family that has been my source of inspiration

and strength in times of difficulties.