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SKIZZYMANE
Bitchy #649377
I'm not a fighter but touch my man and Bitch I'll Kill you
Crazy #650085
I'm tired of tryin to catch the leprechaun, next time there's a rainbow I'm gonna secure the high ground
and wax that little bastard at 1000 yds with my 7mm Mag
Friendship #673814
The simple but good life; watching Sunday afternoon game with friends eating drinking laughing and
SCREAMIN'..GO STEELERS!!!
Bedtime #655021
is off to fall into the arms of the one I love. Bed- here I come!
Bitchy #657277
it's not that i hate you ... it's that I'm tired of your bullshit !!
Angry #655195
Is practically saying FUCK OFF! in a polite way.
Sadness #670168
some days i wish that i could cover my eyes and plug my ears then all the things that were hurting me
the most would just disappear </3
Bitchy #654774
Is love hate in a bitch mode?
Boyfriend #656208
is wondering how some women put up with stupid boyfriends,I mean WTF, making you pay for your self
when you two go out...Please! That is not even close to cute!
Boys #646375
I may not have the skinniest waist, the prettiest face, or the longest legs, but if you don't like me for who
I am, who cares?!
Mixed #653516
is a ray of freaking sunshine!
Jokes #672247
Teacher ''tom why is ur cat at school with u today ?'' Tom (crying ) '' i heard the milk man tell my mum
when ya kid goes 2 school im guna eat ur pussy !''
Funny random #659169
Leeroy you're a freaking idiot. At least I have chicken.
Politics #663680
NEWSFLASH: Arizona Gov. signs bill making illegal immigrants illegal, White House response: Getting a
committee to find out the legal status of illegals..WTF?
Friendship #680996
when someone needs you im there :) love youu :) bestfrennndd :) <3
Lovers #632892
cant help it,
Life #638933
Go 4 ur dreams no matter what the cost! If its important to u then give ur all dont ever let someone hold
u bk! Its ur life,Time 2 decide.. so whats it gonna b?
Politics #673087
The government is NOT your baby daddy!!
Bitchy #632755
can relax this weekend. they got their weekly exercise by pushing their luck, throwing out their options,
running in circles and jumping to conclusions.
Sad #655323
is sad when a few mean words show you a person you thought was a friend, really is not !!
Breakup #657622
Its like you took me to the highest mountain, showed me the beautiful world, and then you looked at
me and said, "THIS is what you CAN'T have!"
Break ups #651399
If someone really loves you, they wouldn't let you slip away no matter how big the situation is.
Funny #647188
I suppose that you want to know what i am doing. Do you really want to know what i am doing? I'm
using spell check to create this status.
Bedtime #653986
is EXHAUSTED...going to bed...Goodnight Y'all...
Happy #654349
is happily bouncing around their little padded room, anyone fancy joining me? i could use the extra
company, I have COOKIES!
Bitchy #684492
Yes, I am smiling just because I want to make you wonder... and yes, you should worry if that's what you
are wondering ;)
Annoyed #687784
~ Sometimes thinks there's just some people in your life that you would probably be better off without.
Coffee #633258
Coffee and cigarettes are the healthiest things on earth. They keep me from killing you!
Depression #647291
I think I'm afraid to be happy because wen I am something always goes wrong and I'm crushed even
more...
Kids #656564
It doesn't matter how old my children are they will always be my babies :)
Heart broken #687451
your practically my sister I'll be there for you till the day i die no matter who breaks your heart i will
always kick there ass because i love you <3
Best friends #648949
I'm an angel at heart. but if you mess with my friend, you'd better RUN!!!
Sleep #687632
\u200e"Sometimes you have to sleep with certain people to get what you want. In my instance, never."
Angry #654076
is fucked off for no apparent reason and getting more annoyed the more things go wrong. approach
with care. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. now piss off.
Angry #674496
There is no point in talking with you because I can tell you everything I think about you with one finger
:P
Funny #634882
Doctor doctor i can't feel my legs now. I know, get your fucking hands off my thighs Bastard
Boyfriend #645669
i love how its so easy for you to put a smile on my face :) <3
Life #663722
Next to knowing when to seize an opportunity, the most important thing in life is to know when to
forego an advantage.
Philosophy #668913
says: Quality of the people in your life, no matter how small the number, is far richer than sheer
Quantity of people who mean nothing.
Funny #650446
If a kiss was a raindrop I'd send you a shower.If a hug was a second I'd send an hour.If a smile was water
I'd send the sea.If you needed love I'd send you me.x
Sarcastic #665097
OMG!! Two David Cameron's !!! OH sorry It's just Nick Clegg. How daft of me.
Attitude #652035
If YOU didn't SEE it w/your own eyes, or HEAR it w/your own ears, then WHY would you INVENT IT
w/your SMALL MIND or SHARE it with YOUR BIG MOUTH !
Bitchy #651900
If you ask me I'm ready... Ready to bitch slap you!
Fun #677696
u say to a person I <3 U AND THEY SAYS AHHH THAT CUTE GET THE F*** out of my house
Bitchy #651393
If someone makes you mad it takes 2 muscles to frown,but it takes 4 muscles to raise your and slap that
bitch across the face.
Breakup #672813
The bitch your with doesn't matter. What matters is they's getting my sloppy seconds.
Bitchy #625487
"Sometimes you should just shut the fuck up... Hell yeah ! My eyes are bleeding cause of your stupidity
!"
Boys #644484
I hate it wen guys just want 2 date 4 sex or something else bad!!
Life #674176
then close my eyes & sleep the night through, the dreams that I have are of me & u.
Friendship #643929
I don't need "fair-weather" friends; Judge me for my mistakes, but don't forget your own. No one is
perfect. Your judgement makes you just as wrong as me.
Annoyed #636998
Everyone wants to say long distance relationships don't work..well last time I checked ain't none of the
local relationships worked either!
Bitchy #645930
I love to wake up each day and think yes! Another day that I get to fuck with you! Sucks to be YOU!
HAHAHA
Hurt #636421
Even when you are part of a big family many times you still feel alone
Mixed #640880
Hates the letter Q it is just a wannabe O after all
Mom #648539
I would rather be a poor stay at home mom than have the best of everything but never see my children.
Some people need to rethink their priorities in life.
Advice #635506
Don't look back at the path you have already walked,Look forward to the path you haven't walked,
Bitchy #626045
's crap compactor has reached capacity. Please peddle your shit someplace else.
Funny #661310
makayla and deanna were here ;Dhehehe
Sarcastic humour #667455
Right before a three day weekend every ones excited...until Tuesday comes and bites you in the ass,
kinda seems like a Monday to me!!
Drama #654959
is now in a DRAMA FREE zone! If you got it, I don't want it... If you want it, I don't got it!!!
Funny #665083
Omg! The Magical Pixie Fairies STOLE my 2 Horned Dragon Dog! GIVE IT BACK!
Bitchy #654339
is handing out matches to people so they can continue to burn their bridges! Just so they know, they
didn't just burn mine, they blew it the f*ck up!
Best friends #681354
When you get dumped, a friend tells you that they're missing out, but a best friend says "It's cause
they're gay."
Chocolate #669467
Silly Wabbit Tweats are for kids!
Angry #632987
Certain person has done my head in! HAPPY? Fecking ass hole!
Funny #645336
I know that holding a piece of paper in front of your face won't save you from a thrown rock, but I doubt
holding scissors or another rock will help much either
Prayer #683285
With Love,
Love #656574
It doesn't matter what's happened in the past, all that matters is who you love and that they love you
back.
Love #636366
Even the best fall down sometimes, even the stars refuse to shine, but in the end you and I collide
Annoyed #640405
has just finished making Voodoo Dolls of all the people they doesn't like today -_- they's now going to
stick them to the wall and throw darts at them -_-
Mixed #648002
i was sooo stupid to think for one minute that you actually cared for me
Bedtime #669601
Sleep in Peace, Remember GOD is awake
Thoughts #687558
Your worst enemy is your own thoughts
Facebook addiction #656139
is waiting to see the first "Intervention" episode on A&E featuring a Facebook addict.
Family #641081
Have you ever looked in the mirror after a long day and said "Mirror Mirror on the wall, I am my Mother
after all"?
Bitchy #648528
i would love to stay and talk but... your just a bitch
Bitchy #637803
for all the people that talk about me or my kids thanks for making me the center of your world
Funny #642630
i am a Parana
Funny #643551
I didn't fall! The floor looked so lonely so i gave it a hug :) Then it mocked me so i rugby tackled it!
Silly #651810
If ya love me & ya know it, leave a comment. If ya love me & ya know it,, and ya really wanna show it, if
ya love me & ya know it, leave a comment.
Depression #636583
every day i look in the mirror and wonder if I'll ever stop drowning.
Bitchy #652098
if you don't like me and don't even wanna think about me, then stop calling me names, because when
you do, you think about me, so i win and you lose
Boyfriend #645727
I love it when we text!!But i love the sound of your voice to!But i love it the most when we hang out!!!
Humor #637615
Fiber is like poison to your pop hole. :P That bathroom smells pretty bad now :(
Bitchy #644395
I graduated top of my class from the F.B.I...The Federal Bitch Institute, so don't mess with me!
Humor #633601
cus
Bitchy #642399
hug me and i will hug you,kiss me and i will kiss you,love me and i will love you, mess with me and the
BITCH in me, will get you!!
Bitchy #684972
you can hate me
Break ups #624962
"I'm too bright to shine in your dull World"
Harry potter #651490
If the last Harry Potter movie and the last Twilight movie came out on the same day, it would be HP fans
vs. Twilight fans. Who would win?
Funny #677010
Tom: ( crying)" i heard the milkman telling mom that wen the kid goes to school he gonna eat her pussy
"
Love #652704
If you truly love me, you wouldn't make me feel like I have to constantly fight for your attention.
Truth #653404
instead of bitching about something, TAKE CARE OF IT!
Sex #660855
love like uv neva bin hurt <3,
Humor #672123
Tailgate me and I'll flick a booger on your windshield. just saying
Bedtime #653335
In the quiet arms of prayer.
Love #664731
ohh yeha when you dumped me ya know when i did nothing. yeha i remeber that. you jack ass.!
Love #675137
they's my kinda perfect<3
Kids parents #650948
If I was told to go to bed. I'd be like. OK! Why can't kids be the same way?
Bitchy #680629
When I woke up this morning, my feet hit the floor and I heard the Devil yell: "OH SHIT ! The bitch is
awake!" Damn I'm proud to be a bitch :) LOL !
Bitchy #646226
i may act all sweet and stuff but u mess with me or my friends and I'll screw u right back!
Mixed #633069
children are happy because they don't have a file in their mind labelled 'what can go wrong' that they
run to before acting at any given moment
Christian #673344
The more of everything you share,
Lovers #648772
I'll turn around just to look at you and when I notice your looking right back at me I get a smile on my
face that won't go away until the next time i see you(:
Boyfriend #656561
It doesn't matter how many times you kiss me a day, I still get butterflies like it's the first time<3(:
Facebook #661749
Me:On FB I can sprinkle gardens, poke people, pet, feed, manage a farm and a restaurant why cant I be
that productive in RL???Doc:Ur heads too far up FBs ass!
Attitude #643471
I could seriously go the rest of my life without seeing certain individuals... Much less being in the same
room with them.
Lonely #647588
I used to have many faults, now I have only 2 - everything I say and everything I do...
Stupid #637773
fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me..fool me three times and I'm a fucking idiot
somebody shoot me cause I'm too stupid to live
Annoyed #656366
is wondering y people have to be so dishonest, do they realize that is going to catch up to them?
especially when karma smacks them in the face
Crazy #666151
people told me that if you fart real hard your back will crack, so i tried it i pushed as hard as i could and
guess what:)
Encouragement #687869
~During those times in your life when you only see one set of footprints in the sand, just know it is God
who is carrying you~
Animals #666109
People talk back & don't let you finish a line, Horses will let you cry into their neck, stand there for you
to lean on and show you the true meaning of love <3
Hurt #645606
I lost u once and it bout killed me. You acted like u'd moved on then later flirt with me. I get my hopes
up even tho i know i shouldn't then u walk away again.
Chocolate #661960
Milk chocolate, white chocolate, chocolate kisses, dark chocolate, chocolate/caramel, chocolate w/nuts,
chocolate fudge, hot chocolate. That's what's on my mind
Sleep #679342
Well seriously think again coz ur sat on fb:L.
School #651884
If you are ready for school to be over press "like"
Angry #653129
im havin the kinda day where a valium xanax kalonipin smoothie sounds FAN-FUKN-TASTIC! think ima go
into hidin so there are NO innocent by-standards
Heartbreak #663333
Never a mistake, always a lesson
Fun #687778
~ Roses are Red - so was my wine ... refilled my glass, now I'll sleep just fine ~
Silly #640473
has lost their marbles...no wait...there they are...rolling down the hill...Run Forrest, run!!
Best friends #670741
Sometimes BEST FRIENDS come from those you would never expect, someone everyone else thinks your
suppose to hate! You don't have to be blood to be SISTERS!
Parenting #630224
And when you look down at each one of them sleeping so peacefully, and you kiss their cheeks, that's
when you think "THAT is what it's all about"
Crazy #632024
Blond:what colour are your blue eyes Other Blond:ahh... i think they're green
Thoughts #671466
Sometimes, on the road of life, we must lose ourselves to find our way..
Blonde #628269
A blond comes and ask what stfu mean. The guy says shut the fuck up. Blond "everyone saying that to
me don't have to be mean."
Sarcastic humour #625440
"SHUT UP"
Work #655067
is off to work again..why couldn't I have been born rich instead of good looking?? LOL
Angry #637533
feels like burning everything in sight. If motherf***ers want to keep pushing me. I wont need matches, I
will be able to do it with just looking at your ass.
Alone #654870
is not afraid that they will end up alone because they already knows they will
Forgiveness #628759
A huge part of real love is constant forgiveness
Mixed #677962
used a reality check to pay for my sanity, but it bounced.
Bitchy #632616
By Taylor Destiny!
Bedtime #680022
What's that you say, Bed? Blanket is being mean to you again? Sounds like I need to separate you two.
Good night, all!
Life lessons #677427
Twenty years ago I thought I had it "all figured out". Today I embrace the mystery of life, and know that
there are many ways of looking at the world.
Love #637650
finally I found someone who catch up my heart.=)
Breakup #678391
wants to know why someone would stay somewhere they are not wanted and with someone that
doesn't love them. Move on and get a life already!
Sex #646945
I saw a bar the other night with the sign: "Liquor in the front and Poker in the rear." LMAO!
Sex #626188
( o Y o ) Just thought I'd flash you guys for the hell of it!
Most popular #672713
The best feeling in the world is when you KNOW your heart is smiling :)
Recently added #661742
me:(fffffaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrtttttttttt)
Life #671342
Sometimes you have to pick your nose to see what is on your mind.
Jokes #654848
is naked in the bushes with a chicken mask on
Life #658024
Just because I'm quiet doesn't mean that I forgave you ... it just means that I'm still planning how I'm
going to torture you
Love #661029
love, its a lot like romeo and Juliet and it feels like somethings happening to me
Bored #654265
is going to start a story and everyone has to add something to it.. Let's see how this turns out! Once
upon time..
Crazy #657089
it's fine to talk to ones self, OK to answer ones self. it becomes a problem when you lose an argument
with ones self and then refuse to speak to ones self...Oo
Humor #672648
the 1 that don't mind u look like crap in the morning, the 1 that don't mind morning breath, the 1 that
don't care u gained a few u00a3's. The VIBRATOR ty lord :
Bitchy #630994
Be a bitch to me,, ill be more of a bitch back ;)
Witty #683442
Wondering why I like you, I miss you. Its a disease -the millionaire's 1st Love
Life #656967
It's a woman's job to stay strong; no matter how hard the situation. :)
Mixed #627527
2)friends.3)boyfriend/girlfriend.4)junk food.
Christmas #686210
You might be a redneck if you hang Christmas lights off your roof with duct tape.
Breakup #665964
People keep telling me that eventually, the "right person" will come along. I think my "right person" got
hit by a bus or something.
Sad #631318
Behind every smile there is a broken heart. Just because someone is smiling doesn't mean they are
happy and everything in their life is going right.
Bitchy #642048
How 2 make my personality: 2 gallons of attitude, 3 cups of bitch plz, 2 tbsp of fuck yhu hoe, and a
generous cup of please kiss my ass
Funny #639277
goin to hang out with all my imaginary friends in the fruit loop garden and play with the glow in the dark
monkeys!!!
Friendship #662388
My best friend and i think alike...the world should be afraid...very afraid
Weird #668844
says: "I can't be held responsible for doing what the Rice Krispies tell me to do!"
Inspirational #656837
it takes a lifetime to gain trust and just a DAY to break it.
Love #634735
do u relize im in luv with u n u jus ignore me face it u cnt ignore love
Love hurts #640926
Hates when the guy leads you on then tells you that want you anymore
Life #673716
the queen walk in and pulled down their top if you are busy next week and the week after can i meet
you in the middle while liking their boobs yum yum
Love pain #671034
sometimes life has a way of punching you in the face, knocking all your teeth out and then expecting you
to smile after :(
Fun #641280
Hear No evil
Philosophy #624531
"Believe in tomorrow & what it will bring, for things will work out if you trust & believe there's no limit
to what you can do"
Annoyed #652865
If you're going to talk about me behind my back, don't smile at me to my face!
Love you #643028
i am thinking of you and wish i could be with u right now!<3
Justin bieber #661976
mirror mirror on the wall, who's the hottest of them all? JUSTIN DREW BIEBER!! <3 <3 <3 <3 dats right!
Single #653829
is changing their relationship status to 'crazy cat lady'
Politics #666471
politics don't they mean pol-a- pricks???
Boyfriend #656990
It's amazing how i still get butterflies when i know I'll see you, how i still smile when i hear your voice,
and you still take my breathe away when you walk in
Breakup #655456
is smiling because I know something you don't know and when you do find out, I'll be laughing my ass
off. Just say-in!
Pain #649652
I'm not sure what hurts more, the fact that you lied to me or the fact that, in your eyes, I wasn't even
worth the truth.
Rednecks #685628
you know that your a redneck if you think it is a good idea to hook a car hood up to a four-wheeler and
ride around in the snow.
Alone #675444
thinks it's funny how people say they will be there 4 u, yet when u need someone the most, absolutely
NO ONE steps up to the plate...
Boys #658866
knows guys without girls are bachelors... but girls without guys are geniuses
Bitchy truth #632764
Can someone please tell me why it is necessary to stare at a McDonald's Menu for longer then 15
seconds? Haven't they had the same shit on it for the last 25 yr
Facebook addiction #644705
I have a life away from Facebook. I just don't know where I put it...
Bored #651768
If we didn't have Facebook, what would we be doing right now? comment below ;D
Funny #650931
if i was a video game and have health bar i would get to the end and never come back but i aren't a
video game and i don't have a health bar so i play on crap
Mixed #627613
3 facts i know about you
Family #686406
You pretended to be "family" for so long now, that I actually thought you were. Now, I guess you were
just an "enemy" in disguise!
Humor #634788
Do you ever wish you were a monkey? Then if you got mad at someone, you could just fling your poo at
them. Problem solved.
Facebook #633226
Click "like" if you really should be doing something other than being on Facebook! ^_-
Heart broken #658249
just needs to flip the page. </3
Karma #658623
Karma's a bitch . Be aware.
Mixed #669614
sleeping with my eye wide shut coz i dunt wanna wake up wake up i don't
Boys #681553
when you text me i get butterflies in my stomach, when i see you i start to think a million things, when i
talk to you i get nervous and don't know what to say
Funny crazy #650196
I've been waiting for this moment ever since I got up...
Lyrics #654962
Is now listenin too music plsz do not disturbx :P
Life #672016
Sunday please tell Monday 2 retire!!!
Sarcastic #628857
a message for all those people who like to look down their noses at me, enjoy it while it lasts, as nobody
is perfect, and your day will come :)
Boyfriend #681213
When we first said "I love you" i wasn't sure it would work out, but looking back on how far we've come,
Its you i cant live without.
Love #633827
Dear Cupid, you forgot about me.
Funny #658798
Kiss my arse you fish face mug! y mum is a cod, dad's a bum banded and ya nan gives perfect head v a
nice day!
Bitchy #646836
I really don't hate you; I'm just severely allergic to stupidity
Angry #664159
NOT GIVE A SHIT!
Love #679465
were not bitches-we just hate you
Hate #647605
I used to think they loved me but the truth has really shown through... now i know that they never loved
me they actually used me for advantage
Sarcastic #631241
Beer goggles, making ugly people look good, one beer at a time.
Love #680028
What's the definition of love? Still wanting to be with someone even after they have hurt u more than u
thought they could
Bitch #677528
U Called Me A Bitch= B-Beautiful I-Intelligent T-Thoughtful C- Careful H- Hot
Funny #683540
wonders if more children were conceived because of alcohol or more alcohol was consumed because of
children.
Love #657880
Jesus LOVES ME this I know; what I don't KNOW is; do YOU? frankly my dear love, I DO give a dawn
Smile #645730
I love it when you can't see someone, but you know they're smiling :)
Sarcastic #627941
<- Doesn't give a rats poo-butt what u say. I fuckin love Nickel back so THERE!
Boys #662748
My heart stops when you text me. When i text you but no reply comes back i feel like a 2,000 pound
weight has been dropped on my heart and it hurts me .Bad
Friendship #638260
Friends U Can Keep? I just put you in the F.U.C.K. CATEGORY <3
Angry #640633
has the right to remain silent because anything they does say will be taken down, twisted, and used
against their..
Christmas #676490
Tis the season to spend money fa la la la la la la la la, I'm really broke and it's not funny fa la la la la la la
la la.
Funny #632171
Boy with a wet patch on their trousers :" Mum I have had an accident".
pissed off #664839
OK, so if you continually treat people like shit , walk over them and take the p**S out of them.. you get
away with it and smell of roses!!
Mixed #631964
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, I WANT CHEESE , gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme,
CHEESE!!!
Tired #676606
To exhausted to think straight. . .please use small words. Pictures help.
Kids parents #672720
the best gift in life is your kids, when they smile at you,tell you they love you and kiss you goodnight you
know all the hard work is worthwhile
Love #668790
says.... God in heaven, God above, please protect the friends I love. Send a smile sealed with a kiss an
take care of my friend who's reading this! :- ) xXx
Love you #687397
Your my rain of sunshine , My pot of gold at the end of the rainbow , the SNAP CRACKLE and POP of my
life.I LOVE how you just KNOW how to make me smilee !<3<3<3
Crazy #671834
Stop looking at me like I'm crazy! Everyone knows already, you're making a fool of yourself!
Bitchy #641338
HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED. and u fucking scorned me so watch out i know were u
sleep!
Sarcastic #629016
A rottweiler
Humor #654587
is in your news feed being awesome!
Bitchy #649569
I'm not offend if u call me an bitch, because B.I.T.C.H stands 4 Beautiful Incredible Terrific Charming
Human, so thanks 4 the complement! :)
Animals #642423
Humans will never be truly civilized until cruelty to animals is eliminated.
Single #678202
Wanted by many but taken by none ;P
Life #632513
but life proves me wrong every time ...
Bedtime #639305
Going to bed.. Who's coming? ;) Can't blame a girl for trying!
Bitchy #635495
don't listen to the shit people say about me because it might be as fake as the bitch who told you<3
Humor #641194
have you seen how expensive funerals are? I'm gonna change my name to OFF so when i die the flowers
on the coffin will say R.I.P OFF
Life #648136
I will live this life until this life won't let me live here anymore. Then I will walk, yes I will walk with Jesus
through that open door. I have no fear...
Advice #666138
People that think a relationship is based on sex alone have no hope!!!
Life phrases #686355
You never realize how fragile life can be until u have to make a choice that may change your life forever.
Love loss #676607
To fall in love is very easy, Staying in love is a challenge, Letting go is the hardest part, And moving on is
a damn suicide..
Drinking #666120
People tell me,"Oh, you just drink to escape your problems." Well, no shit. I'd eat rat heads if it let me
ditch my problems.
Pain #665741
Pain is love
Mixed #672516
Thank you,Lord,for all you did for me today.Let me rest well and hear me as I pray.In Jesus' name.Amen.
Love #638269
Friends will be coming to visit u every week but Best Friends will be sittin beside u sayin damn this sucks
were never gettin out , sike so heres the plan .
Christmas #669618
Sleigh bells ring, are you listening,
Christian #679516
What can wash away my sin?
Bitchy #630736
Attempting to give a fuck. 10% 20% 30% 40% 50% 60% 70% 80% 90%.ERROR- Can't give a fuck.
Love hurts #671113
Sometimes the footprints someone leaves in your heart are a one way street, and you don't mean
nearly as much to them as they do to you.
Funny #639610
grandkids=Priceless
Bitchy #631841
Bitch get outta my face you don't know me (Y)
Bitchy #674509
There is no telling what kinda Shit will come outta my mouth today.
Dreams #664475
Off to dreamland. Wonder what I'll dream about tonight? I'm thinking deserted island with sugary white
sand, sunshine, crystal blue waves lapping at my feet.
God #633896
Dear God, Please come hold my heart. I can't take the pain anymore.
Happiness #671225
Sometimes we just have to take hold of our life, remove all of the people and things that cause us pain
or stress, and just be happy.
Family #658048
Just because we are related doesn't mean your part of my family!!! I don't need you or your drama.
Christian #634007
Dear Lord today i ask you to touch my friends and family and help them to know that you love them and
died for them i Ask it all in your name AMEN !
Love loss #672922
The days go by so slow without talking to you. I really miss you so when I get the chance I'm going to hug
you and never let you go!!!
Life #656699
It is only in the deepest of darkness that a star can shine the brightest..
Boyfriend #650481
if a someone is willing to wait to have sex with you, they're worth being with.
Bitchy #649246
I'm in touch with my inner Bitch!
Boyfriend #687237
Your CRAZY!
Life #644392
I gotta keep trying! I can't give up yet!..I almost beat level one! ^_^
Mixed #687814
~(8(l) its Homer Simpson hahahahaha lmao!!!
Philosophy #627858
:"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned in life: it goes on."
Bedtime #675469
thinks it's time for bed. the dust bunnies just gathered around and started belting out "Mr. Sandman."
Inspirational #656540
It comes down to a simple question: what do you want out of life, and what are you willing to do to get
it?
Haters #658632
Karma's a bitch, like you!(:
Funny #678277
wants their friends to help their write a story with only 1 sentence each. Here goes
Sarcastic #685482
you heard this and that but can't mention any names. Your so full of SHIT!
Love #645611
I love a crazy psycho path
Thoughts #682565
Why is a car's front glass so large and the rearview mirror so small? Because the future is more
important than the past. Look ahead with a bigger view and move
Heartbreak #642912
I am proud of my heart.. u know y?? It's played, loved, burnt & broken, but somehow it still Works.
Love hurts #627063
...Says that one day, you will look at me and think - "they was good to me...they really did love me."
Annoyed #637101
Excuse me , Mr. Gangster - i do not mean to interrupt your swagger , but can you like... pick your pants
up & walk a little faster ? I'm late for class .
Weird #676802
Today I burst out singing my 'Ozzy Osbourne Medley' then my 'Weird Al/We Will Rock You' medley,
when my friend yelled 'SIT DOWN, IDIOT!' and slapped me. :)
Break ups #685636
You know the saying "U never know what you've got until it's gone." Well in reality, you knew what you
had the whole time, you just didn't think you'd lose it.
Christmas #630247
and your time! These gifts can't be replaced by mere things that are given!
Most popular #639195
God puts people in your life for a reason, and removes them from your life for a better reason.
Funny #646729
I only got out of bed this morning cause my dream had me convinced it was gonna start raining in my
room. 0_0
Funny #655494
is so broke, I went to rob Peter to pay Paul, and Peter broke out a glock on my a$$.
Bitchy #687006
you're important only because I ALLOW you to be!!!
Inspirational #635348
Don't give up on the people you love. Give them time, space, and love, but don't give them up . . . unless
it's to Jesus!!
Evil #682134
why are Mondays so sinister?
Friendship #638338
Friendship, like what we have, is God's way of apologizing to us for our families :-)
Bitchy #636093
Dude:What?
Crazy #641707
Hey! who replaced my flying broomstick with a MOP?!
Weird #637924
For those of you who call me weird.. when has "normal" ever been a virtue?
Attitude #662367
My attitude is based on how u treat me.
Mixed #640164
has been known to bust out in random song and dance moves just to embarrass my children... just one
more service I offer...
Life #625040
"In 100 years all different people." In other words life is too short.
Funny #665482
one thing me and you should do before the end of the year ________________
Humor #651580
If this page does not load within 10 seconds, you may be experiencing a shitty computer.
Life lesson #665865
people are always going to hurt you, you just have to decide which ones are worth the pain, and when
you've had enough!!
Lies #675392
thinks if people put as much energy into exercising their bodies and mind as much as they do running
their mouths this world would be a better place!
Bitchy #634599
Disclaimer: I am in a bitchy mood and I cannot account for words or actions that might occur when
people annoy me.
Sex #653378
IN-BOX ONLY; You and I should ____ before 2010 is over! Put this as your status and see what you get in
your IN-BOX!
Best friends #645485
I like how I can talk to you about anything and how you can make me smile when I am down. I never
knew that I would have a best friend like you. You know who Ur
Life #670251
Some of the best things I've ever said, are the things that I've never said.
Heart broken #633857
dear Facebook, sorry i don't want to be friends with my x boy/girl friend. He/she 's an , thanks.
Alone #647630
I walk and stand tall...alone.
Bitchy #653486
is a bitch...but i learned from the best. Thanks Mom!
Jokes #675397
thinks if they ain't got tit's then they ain't got shit !! :P
Funny #668735
says, you no me, I'm the naughty one with the big boobies!
Bitchy #667058
really shouldn't be surprised, that you spread the rumors like you spread your thighs!!
Facebook #640825
Hates it when there is nothing to do on Facebook, so you just ending up staring at the home page,
hoping something interesting will happen!
Break ups #684848
You broke my heart after you promised forever, you lied when I knew the truth, you said you were ready
to commit. You are a boy playing dress up.
Breakup #635253
Don't cry over somebody that won't cry over you.
Bitch #680434
When i look at you a voice in my head screams SLUT
School #625846
"You had all weekend to do that homework!" "sorry i have a life"
Life #681651
When your day has been like a hurricane, all you can do is look forward to the rainbow that follows.:)
Life #645271
i know God, my friends, and my family love me. Everyone else is optional.
Love #628809
A little rain can straighten a flower stem.
Lyrics #660268
Living' in a lonely world
Advice #687752
~ Know your worth, stand your ground and NEVER settle for less than you deserve!! ~
Rude #682600
Why is it people can talk behind yer back and put you down BUT, when they want something they are all
Buddie Buddie..UGH..
Fun #656413
Is worried because my conscience and subconscious keep arguing over which one has to deal with me
today
Happy #644159
I feel like Cinderella.. before the ball. ")
Justin bieber #665230
once upon a time, Michael Jackson molested a child..then poof! it became Bieber, Justin Bieber!
Insane #627535
2. Argues with self
Mixed #649745
I'm polite, I'm sweet... Keep playing games and I'm about 20 seconds from Bitch!
Love you #624630
"don't give up on someone or something that you cant go a day without thinking about because there is
normally a reason while they're there*
Love loss #627668
3.When they pushes u or hits u[Grab their & dont let go]
Tired #648037
i was walking around today when i passed a window. inside i saw a very haggard tired old woman, that's
when i realized "aw shit, that's my reflection"
Boys #670012
So what if you heard me and my friends talking about you, and so what if you caught me staring at you,
at least that means you were paying attention to me. <3
Break ups #674380
There comes a time when walking away is easy!
Quotes #624552
"Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause most inconvenience."
Death #677933
ur restin place I visit, place flowers there with care, but no-one knows my heartache wen I turn & leave
u there.
Love #684724
You are my sun, moon, stars and earth, you are my everything, but i am not your only priority.
Bitchy #687055
you're right, i am not as good as you. i am way the fuck better then you ever where.
Facebook #671830
Stop giving Facebook more drama then it already has , Grow up && say it to my fucking face! , Thanks,(:
Annoyed #668822
says...too bad they don't have rehab centres for being an asshole
Bedtime #666862
Rain or shine, day or night, you know I'll be there for you, but if you call me at 4 o'clock in the morning,
you better be dying >,<
Crazy #647517
I tried singing like no-one was listening, but someone was listening and thought I was killing a cat, so
they called the RSPCA
Death #638014
forgive me dad if i still cry why was it u had to die others have lost their dad's i know but you where
mine and i loved you so xx xx
Bitchy #640659
Has to remember that when you try and help an asshole out all you are going to get is Shit in return!!!
Boyfriend #674898
they make my pussy sing Ahhhhh Like it's Mozart
Mixed #627370
1-800-TIRED Now I've got it on speed dial!!
Bitch #676548
to all you bitches who like taking all of my X's, Well i hope you all like tha left overs. OOH and i forgot to
ask you. HoW dO i TaStE?
God #662726
My heart is overwhelmed with Joy!! Soooo happy to have GOD in my life,the one who is truly reliable!!
Thank You for Everything <3 :)
Blonde #628104
<= = = = = = =omg how do they kno my name!!!
Quotes #625227
"Love me, or hate me either is in my favor. If you love me I will always be in your heart, but if you hate
me I will always be in your mind" Shakespeare
God #666543
Prayer keeps us in constant communion with God, which is the goal of our entire believing lives. - Beth
Moore
Mixed #626639
-Peter
Bitchy #637811
For all those people that keep whining about their problems, take a number...I STILL DON'T GIVE A SHIT!
Funny #650003
I'm the kind of crazy girl that bumps into chairs and says "Oops excuse Me" Then stops themself and
says did i really just talk to a chair?
Life #687968
~When you trust God and make God the most important thing in your life, God will work for you.~
Mean #641550
Hey bitch, don't you ever realize that I'm EVIL and your just "mean"
Life phrases #687693
~ "Life's not about all the steps you've taken, or all the places you have been ~ but the footprints you've
left behind" ~
Hurt #635570
Don't promise change, then stay the same..don't say u won't do it again and then do it..don't hurt with
words then say sorry..broken promise = broken heart :( x
Bitch #675188
things my own way, they call me a bitch.
Funny #637356
Fake friends will use you, Take your Ex Boyfriend and rub it in your face A TRUE Friend will take their
earrings out and heels off and ask where the twat is!!
Bitch #651920
If you call me a bitch?. Then what the fuck does that make you?.
Funny #643195
I blame Disney for making me believe that everyone finds their prince charming and has a happy ending
Sarcastic #674366
There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't & who always
will. Don't worry about the past, they're not your future.
Bitch #640768
Hates guys that use girls for fun whenever its convenient It looks like I'm not the only one that needs to
grow up I'm a woman not a piece of ass!!
Funny #669191
Sex is like pool, it's hard to play with a crooked stick!
Funny #628298
A blond walks to their mailbox, moans and walks away.The neighbour asks "What's wrong." they says
"My Computer says I have mail." Blonds. They kill ya.
Death #634275
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal - Author Unknown
Bitchy #668922
says: spike a Bitch!!
Justin bieber #641170
have you heard that they're making Justin Bieber Silly Bandz? WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO?!?
Mixed #664082
nobody believes a liar even when he/she is telling the T R U T H .x
Advice #666106
people shouldn't be scared of taking a chance on a new life because of what-ifs and buts. They should go
for it as it might just be the best thing they ever did
Relationships #684788
you are the worst girlfriend ever bitch
Bitch #676581
to catch me u gotta be fast,to find me u gotta be smart, but to be me... HA u must be kidding!!!
Humor #629586
all i ask is the chance to see if money will make me happy
Sad #655571
is soo sad to see vacation go, it's back to school tomorrow! =(
Funny #647260
i think food can fly if it really did it would be so cool so when u throw it, it comes back at u!!! ha-ha
Life #660235
Live, Learn, & Move the F&ck on!!!
Funny #640495
has no seat or steering wheel
Funny #679152
We would all be damned if the worlds population farted at the same time.
Love #680450
When I look into your eyes... I lose sight of everything else..
Coffee #639378
Good friends, good life, good coffee, Good Morning!
Bedtime #657697
Its raining, its pouring, Face book is boring, hit my head off to bed, see you all in the morning. Goodnight
:)
Drinking #664282
now everybody put your drinks in the air, and down the mother fucker like you just don't care!
Prayer #660493
Lord, on the days when trusting you with my life is difficult, I pray for a new vision of Your power and
Your ability to care for me.
Inspirational #624411
" Walk into darkness to relight the candle that has burnt out in someone Else's world... then, you will
learn the true meaning of life."
Kids parents #683738
Wonders why some people put them selves before their children. When are you going to realise your
actions will affect their entire lives.
Sarcastic #655404
Is sick of your sick obsession with Drama, if you created it, you deal with it! I have better things to do,
My life is not a soap opera! Thanks so much!
Lovers #674876
they is my breath of life without their my heart would not beat my lungs would not breath. I love you
Princess.
Recently added #648240
i wish i could have someone kidnapped.lol.too bad it is against the law.
Pain #629602
All I hear from my bones today is Snap, Crackle, & Pop. I must be a Rice Krispie. I feel sorry for the Rice
Krispies, I didn't know it hurt so much to be one.
God #666055
People say that a child shouldn't be given everything they want or they will get spoiled. So why get so
mad when God doesn't give you everything you pray for?
Funny thought #649379
I'm not a fruit loop... I'm your lucky charm!
Love pain #662017
missing the one who doesn't miss me. Loving the one who doesn't love me. Fighting for the one who
hasn't fought for me. Dreaming of the one, who doesn't dream
Love you #646532
I miss you so much right now, I'd give anything just to see you, to hear the sound of your voice. I wish i
could just fall asleep in your arms.
Witty #646331
I may not be perfect But take me as i am or not at all Bitches :@
Boyfriend #685287
You don't have to take me to an expensive restaurant, buy me candy and presents...i JUST want to be
with you! Money CANT buy love..but, your heart bought mine<3
Angry #655553
is so tired of Drama. I mean seriously? Are you people still in High School? The world does NOT revolve
around you.
Trust #657357
it's really difficult to gain my trust, and if you manage to do so you then have my heart, but beware, my
trust is easy to lose, thus is my heart.
Annoyed #675382
thinks i should come with a warning label that reads, when that dirty look it giving walk away and leave
their the alone or you may lose your head
Love pain #629759
All wet from rain I live in pain
Breakup #630586
As these tears roll down my face. I need no more but time and space. I hear you no more. I feel you no
more. It's like we never were before.
Karma #659147
Learn to treat people the way you want to be treated, cause what goes around comes around...and
karma never goes easy on ya...think before you act.
Work #653056
If your workplace was a soap opera what would be the title?
Funny #656326
is wondering why is it some cleaning products have male names.. Mr Sheen, Mr Muscle and Henry,
when it's usually women who do the cleaning!!!
Bitchy #665912
People can ME a slut?? Uh, reality check Hun, get real, i maybe a liar, but no way am I slut!! check
yourself!!
Strength #670316
Some people believe that holding on and hanging in there are signs of strength but there are times in
life when it takes much more strength to just let go.
Funny #678348
Wants to kick the procrastination habit. I'll start tomorrow.
Sad #643216
I called you today and you wasn't there. My mind wondered off to a dark place and i looked at a picture
of you and my heart smiled.ILY hurry up and come home
Hurt #683061
wishes for empathy to develop in some people, so they can understand the impact of their actions on
others.
Life lessons #668314
says life lesson of the day is" never live your life to please other people you just end up getting hurt in
the end"
Hurt love #666915
rather run around with them nothing fake ass b-tches then..
Friendship #656108
is very grateful to have friends who are nothing like Forest Gump's chocolate!
Love #628251
A blessed thing it is to have a friend, 1 human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and
worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.
Life #666398
Please lord as you know today is one of those days I need you to help carry me through the day and
know tomorrow will be a better one with you beside me.
Depression #641210
having a teddy bear doesn't mean your immature, sometimes they are the only ones that don't laugh
when you cry
Stupid #668705
says, My halo fell off but it's okay, my horns caught it.
Christmas #633178
Christmas, family, food, laughter, memories, The Best Gift Ever! :)
Funny #654969
is of to Goofy Goober's with Spongebob and Patric
Funny #635265
Don't drink and drive...because you may spill your beer!
Love pain #685301
you don't know what you do to me; you don't have a clue. you have no idea what it's like to be me,
looking at you..
Truth #642450
hurt me with the truth but never comfort me with the lies... i hate the way you lie!
Advice #680216
When a person comes and tells you someone is talking about you,always remember that it takes more
than one person to hold a conversation.
Heart broken #673967
the truth is, I miss you so much. all the time, every second, every minute, every hour, every day.
Funny #669551
Sir, you have most exquisite breasts.
Funny #647342
I think my penis has stopped breathing.. Quick, I need you to do CPR on it.. Miss.. ASAP!!
Rednecks #640041
Has a great idea! Just need to find that handy dandy DUCT TAPE! Its around here somewhere.. FOUND
IT! Now lets get productive!
Animals #680708
When it comes to pit bulls, the beast is often the two legged animal on the other end of the leash.
Chocolate #640027
has a chocolate problem... I don't have any!!!
Best friends #653003
if your my friend write you name below
Breakup #665299
one day u will want me but i wont want u.
Friendship #644648
I hate you my friend!Just kidding,just kidding...I'm sorry <3
Boys #635857
Don't you just hate it when you start to like a boy and its after you tell them you do that they tell you
that they have a girlfriend? <3
Haters #633497
Country ain't something that I can just get out of my system. Country is in my blood and I ain't getting a
blood transfusion to cure this so called "problem"
Funny #649173
I'm gonna build my Own Them Park With blackjack and Hookers.. In fact Forget the Them Park
Work #629439
After Monday & Tuesday, even a Calendar has W T F?
Drama #664011
No one puts themselves in your life, you put them there. You can choose to IGNORE them or ACCEPT
them.
Bitchy #657222
It's never to late to say your sorry...YOUR ONE SORRY BITCH!
Fun #634533
did you konw taht it dosen't mtater in waht odrer the lrttees in a wrod are? The olny impartont tihng is
taht the frist and lsat leettr be in the rgiht pcale.
Funny thought #653923
is distracted. "really?..really.. you did what?!" friend- that's right. I farted my ABC's!" now that is a very
busy person.
Dreams #662282
Mr. Sandman (Ye-es)Bring Me A Dream - But let's discuss the rules first 1) No Clowns 2)No Snakes 3)If
it's "THAT" kind of dream, LET ME FINISH IT!!
Drama #644450
I hang out with guys cause there is less drama.
Bitch #661058
loves being a bitch it suits me lol
Advice #624773
"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people." - Eleanor
Roosevelt
Inspirational #687557
Your words, for they become actions;
Sarcastic humour #669983
So today I decided to treat people the way they treat me. Some people should be very happy. Others
should be VERY afraid.
Facebook #685579
you know it's bad when your house is on fire and you pause to post it on Facebook...
Men #649904
I'm sorry do I have "Made in China" stamped on my ass?
Life #679913
what the fuck i am i doing on this shit it fucked my life up been sat on this all day lol its so shit
Bitch #662412
my bitch moments are like my minutes...they rollover from day to day, week to week, month to month...
so piss me off whenever you like b/c they don't expire!!
Funny #644849
I have Lot of assholes on my friends list if u do to click LIKE
Funny crazy #659777
Life may not be the Party we thought it would be...but doesn't mean we can't have a butt shakin' good
time until it is ( / ) ( ) ( / ) ( )bow chicka wow wow
Friendship #638136
Friends are 4 ever, but a best friend are a lifetime i love my friends! <3
Hate #650720
If I didn't love you so much I'd cut your brake lines!
Happy #675794
THINKS that you should not live your life based on what others think... Do what makes YOU happy not
what pleases them!
Attitude #631152
Beautiful... intelligent... twisted... caring... handful. You're right. I am a bitch.
Love #674881
They just developed a new website where you can find every sex offender in your area. Just go to
www.eharmony.com.
Inspirational #651674
If u must cheat, cheat death
Annoyed #629341
Acting all innocent doesn't make you an angel. Other people might be deceived but don't try that
fucking face with me.
Christian #634663
Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, the LORD will be with you.' " 2 Chronicles 20:17
Twilight #668874
says: forget choosing between Team Edward and Team Jacob.. I'm all about Team Threesome!!
Bedtime #633798
Dear boyfriend, Your girlfriend is cheating on you with me. I sleep with their every night. and I keep their
warm,they never wants to leave me. Sincerely, their be
Christmas #634891
Does anybody need an angel for their tree top? Don't go buy one~ I'm available for the remainder of the
season! i do accept all major credit cards ;0)
Drama #655149
is OVER the family drama. If you can't be supportive...be quiet.
Friendship #635812
don't you hate it when you are so bored you get on Facebook to relieve it but even then you just sit
there and wait for someone to talk to you!
Bitchy #684876
you call me a bitch like its a bad thing well a bitch is a female dog dogs bark bark is on trees and trees
are part of nature and nature is beautiful so thanks
Bitch #626435
*you think I'm a bitch now? piss me off and see how much of a bitch i truly am*
Love #679197
we're running right back. here we go again it so insane. cause when its going good it going great. I'm
superman with the wind in his back. she's Lois lane.
Wisdom #667420
Revenge has no more quenching effect on emotions than salt water has on thirst. -Walter Weckler
Christian #672177
Take Time to Make Time for the ONE who Made Time
Politics #630617
asked if there are too many Illegal Aliens in the U.S. , 17% Said Yes, 22% Said No, The Other 61% said, "I
no speaka English."
Crazy #649178
I'm gonna follow you to the end of the world.. and then.. I'm gonna kick your ass!
Funny #635069
doesn't want a prince charming. can't live with a sparkly vampire. country boys don't cut it. what could i
possibly want, you ask? well, I Love Nerds!
Breakup #643172
I believed you. I trusted you. I let my walls down for you, and you lied. You hurt me. So what in the
world makes you think I'd take you back?
Women #629174
A true Southern lady doesn't have to be hateful, they can just say "Oh bless your little heart."
Family #676270
Thought for the Day: "I don't need anyone in my life who doesn't want to be there."
Best friends #678882
We are Best Friends... sure we may have fights and have up and downs, but it doesn't matter because
we always make up in no time and we are sisters!! <3
Love #635238
Don't compare me to someone else because there is no one else like me!
Life #675108
they who kicks dirt looses ground!
Haters #629485
ah haters.they say they hate you then kiss your ass!
Advice #652244
If you go through life with your head in the sand all people will see is an ass!
Philosophy #687946
~sometimes it only takes one moment to capture and change you forever~
Pain #642901
I am overwhelmed with disappointment and sadness and my eyes burn from my tears. My heart may
very well burst from the pain I am in.
Alone #670838
Sometimes I know where I'm going in life, other times I feel like I'm just chasing the white rabbit.
Bitchy #651900
If you ask me I'm ready... Ready to bitch slap you!
Fun #677696
u say to a person I <3 U AND THEY SAYS AHHH THAT CUTE GET THE F*** out of my house
Bitchy #651393
If someone makes you mad it takes 2 muscles to frown,but it takes 4 muscles to raise your and slap that
bitch across the face.
Breakup #672813
The bitch your with doesn't matter. What matters is they's getting my sloppy seconds.
Bitchy #625487
"Sometimes you should just shut the fuck up... Hell yeah ! My eyes are bleeding cause of your stupidity
!"
Boys #644484
I hate it wen guys just want 2 date 4 sex or something else bad!!
Life #674176
then close my eyes & sleep the night through, the dreams that I have are of me & u.
Friendship #643929
I don't need "fair-weather" friends; Judge me for my mistakes, but don't forget your own. No one is
perfect. Your judgement makes you just as wrong as me.
Annoyed #636998
Everyone wants to say long distance relationships don't work..well last time I checked ain't none of the
local relationships worked either!
Bitchy #672203
Talk Shit = Get Hit, That's my motto :D
Bitchy #651288
If others can't beat me, why can you? :)
Boys #634459
Did you ever think the reason I'm saying much is because when your on my mind you have me looking
for words... yeah I'm falling for ya :)
Bitchy #651977
If you cant deal with me - DON'T
Bitch #651352
if somebody wants too fuck with you fuck them up don't be fucking scared they ain't shit.. Bring It..
Breakup #671674
Stages of Grief 1 denial 2 shame 3 depression 4 anger 5 acceptance 1 been there 2 done that 3 bought
the t-shirt 4 !acceptance! F**k you and the whore you rode
Heartache #626911
...hates the feeling where you love someone who used to love you, and hates it when you know there
isn't anything you can do to get them back.
Weird #649682
I'm not weird... OM Goodness A Big Purple Waffle Just Took My Big Brother...what was i saying
Tired #626037
's brain is officially on strike until it gets some rest.
Mad #678668
was going to takeover the world today but instead decided to spin on chair shouting WEE!!!
Love #676073
This is the art of true relationship.
Funny #647995
I was sitting here thinking, then I thought...why? So I have decided there will be no more thinking
today!!
Trust #651854
If you are hiding things, it means you have something to hide.
Best friends #674970
They say laughter is the best medicine. Good news friends..just the fact that you know me you should be
healthy for a very long time!!
Love #643211
i c your face n i no that i lov u i hear your voice and no you love me i feel your hand in mine n know that
you will never leave me just no that i lov u <3
Weird #627147
...wonders if woodpeckers get headaches?.
Pain #682091
Whomever said, "No Pain, No Gain" never had chronic pain!
Angry #643776
I don't have an ANGER problem, I just have an IDIOT problem
Crazy #645040
I hope Santa brings me a new helmet, paste, crayons and a personal window to lick, yummy cherry
flavored!!
Confused #640479
has lost their mood ring somewhere and I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Humor #674589
there should be a setting that won't allow you on Facebook til all your housework is done!!
Hurt #657005
it's amazing how remembering something that happened awhile ago, can still hurt the same as if it
happened yesterday!
Heartache #673203
The heart wants what the heart wants, and can't accept that it can't have it. The brain knows it can't
have it, but can't argue with the heart. Now, what???
Best friends #631625
BEST FRIEND: they puts up with my shit and ii put up with their and at the end of the day we still love
each other.
Sex #634867
Do you think dogs try to spice up their sex lives by doing it "people style"?
Faith #635975
Doubt wonders, "Have I done enough to go to heaven?" Grace answers, "No, you haven't. But Jesus has
on your behalf."
Bitch #669877
So let me get this strait, what pisses you off more the fact that I'm Happy ,or the fact that your not?
Blonde #632965
Caution! blond thinking... could be dangerous or even fatal!
Sad #644590
I hate to hear people say that they know how I feel, because if they really knew, they would shut up..
Love #649324
I'm missing someone dear to me, wishing I could hold them close but they are too far away.
Bitchy #635125
Don't act like you are better than me!! Believe me, I know your business
Alone #680698
when it all comes down to it..who really cares about you? I thought family, but not so much anymore..
Sometimes I feel all alone in this big scary world.
Bitchy #680024
What's that?? Oh, sorry. I can't hear you past all your bullshit.
Funny #667574
Roses are red, violets are blue. So what freaking color is violet?!
Funny #656919
It works on so many levels
Mixed #645682
I love how people try to upset you by talking sh*t. You know why? Because even if you hate my guts,
you ARE thinking about me :)
Sarcastic #641348
hello captain obvious my name is lutinet sarcastic, welcome aboard
Best friends #645943
i love u sis- Best Friend <3
Life lessons #656724
It is what it is--then it is what you make of it...
Witty #629328
According to the dictionary, "YIELD" means "to give way". According to the average driver, it means "go
like hell/you can make it/screw them"
Advice #663388
Never cry for anyone in your life, because those you cry for don't deserve your tears and those who are
deserving will never let you cry.
Fun #677483
Two Penis's were robbing a bank, all of a sudden a vibrator walks in.One turns to the other and shouts
"Oh fuck, its Robocock!"
Bitchy #658631
karma's a bitch, but I'm faster, and I'm a best friend and sister. trust me, you don't want to touch their. :)
Mixed #648334
I wish that some people could be as lovely on the inside as they think they are on the outside!
Love #678067
waiting for my night and shining armor to walk through my door
Faith #673622
the pathway in life isn't always smooth, u may find obstacles along the way but that don't mean that you
must stop and turn around, keep going forward
Boyfriend #682116
Why am I the luckiest girl in the world?
Bitchy #635346
don't give a shit about you - I'm pointing at you yes you
Love pain #656630
It hurts when that guy you like is in a relationship with another person
Funny #673931
The trouble is that in this day and age it is more common for one to make love with them self than for
one to love them self.
Funny #677131
tried being normal. Didn't like the feeling, so I'm going back to being ME.
Boyfriend #640618
has the fantastic family, a gr8 life and, to top it all off, i have the most amazing boyfriend ever :) what
more could a girl wish for? :) xxxx
Twilight #668136
says don't worry i wont bite. . . unless you taste nice ;)
Women #663602
Never underestimate the power of a WOMAN'S INTUITION. We recognize game before you even play it.
Work sarcasm #686937
you wouldn't go to KFC and ask if they have chicken, so why the hell do you come to Arby's and ask "do
you have roast beef?" WTF!
Funny random #632197
boy: 'your hot' girl: 'no I'm not' boy: 'okay then you're ugly' girl: 'excuse me?!' boy: 'that's what u get for
not accepting a compliment bitch'
Annoyed #630726
At what point is enough, enough?
Christmas #629516
Ahhhh Christmas,a time for families to get together and pretend they give a shit about each other!
Wisdom #650625
if God created everything then who created God by Ed High
Drugs #672138
take a sip from the cup
Bitchy #675592
thinks some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts, while others come into our
lives and make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
Best friends #686428
You really know me? What's my full name, birthday, favourite colour, eye colour, hair colour and height?
lets see who really knows me and is my true friend <3
Bitchy #627572
2010, I was hurt by people but also loved by so many - both have made me stronger and ready for 2011,
so thank you x
Humor #680321
When God was handing out tall genes I went and stood in the awesome line again!
Bitchy #648650
I'd hit you, but, bitch, that'd be animal abuse!
Animals #665241
Once you have a dog, you never feel complete without one.
Bitchy #681330
When you figure out what you want, Let me know, 'cause I can't wait to say: IT"S TOO LATE!
Bitch #672814
the bitch"what you looking at?" me"you" the bitch's bf breaks up wit you smile the bitch"wht you
smiling for!" me "cuz i can and they left u 4 me!"
Boys #659334
Letters start with A-B-C, numbers start with 1-2-3, songs start with do-re-me, but love...love starts with
you and me.
Angry #655107
is on the verge of saying to hell with it, all of it!! Getting smiled to my face while being stabbed in my
back isn't my definition of "family".
Funny #646953
I saw a rainbow, so i ate skittles. I felt cold, so i put on a jacket. I heard u talking to me, so i put in my
earphones and listened to music until u finished.
Rude #667751
Santa go into hospitable and says Doctor dotor Ive got a mince pie stuck up my ass so the Doctor say OK
Santa i guess all i can do is to put some cream on it
Relationships #629956
Am waiting patiently for God to bring that special person who is not like everyone else into my life.
Someone who truly loves God above all else.
Hope #637343
Faith makes all things possible, Hope makes all things works, Love makes all things beautiful
Sad #669901
So Many times you have seen me laugh , and smile, but have you ever stopped and wondered is it
Real?? Can you not see through the act, of how i truly am alone.
Bored #664218
NOTE TO SELF: Don't ever do something stupid like fart in silence..!
Funny #667424
Revenge is an ingredient of murder. Murder is what makes revenge fun.
Mixed #635076
doesn't want to get old enough for "alltimers" cause this "sometimers" is bad enough!
Hurt #672889
The day I need a friend like you, I'll take a squat and shit one out!
Drugs #680936
when people tell me weed is bad for me, I simply reply,"I was told at a young age if it's green than its
good for you"
Best friends #628190
A best friend is a person who knows you, and yet still loves you
Humor #657914
Joke: What do you call a guy who thinks women belong in the kitchen? Single.
Relationships #643619
I do not hold grudges...but I do have a GREAT memory! :)
Sadness #683631
Wonders when someone will see past the fake smile, and realise the silent tears that keep falling, and
falling with no one to catch them...
Faith #653739
is believing firmly in the power of prayer.
School #627543
2. Making good grades
Bitchy #629342
Acting nice to someones face you don't like, don't make you nice. It just makes you faker than you
already are.
Boys #677717
U think I miss u! u think I care 4 u and U think I like u! U think I'm crazy about u, well
Angry #653345
In the words of Madea Simmons "Put the Shut To The Up"
Witty #667456
Right folks everyone give me 1 number between 1-49, first 12 numbers I get I am going to put on 2 lucky
dips for Saturdays lottery,
Missing you #650700
if i could make life better for you, i would but i cant all i can do is to let you know that mine has been
better because of you
Humor #674784
theres gonna be one less loney girl when i push Justin Bieber off a cliff!!
Bitch #684832
You better know how to shut your mouth unless you want me to open mine to teach you
Bitchy #685576
You know it's a shame when people hide behind Facebook posts to say what they are too afraid to say
face to face.
Heart broken #643493
i crying.
Karma #644027
I don't understand how someone can ruin another persons life and think there won't be any
consequences for what they have done. Karma is coming for them.
Drama #657026
It's amazingly peaceful because I'm choosing from life's option menu. I chose to eliminate those who
cause me stress, drama, and pain!
Bitch #647974
I was once called a psychotic bitch, and today I plan to live up to that name, thanks for the compliment
asshole!
Christmas #634866
Do you think anyone
Sleep #626071
's get up and go just got up and left! G'Night All!
Bitchy #638929
Glass up Heads down Lets pray for another fuckin day! Sick of the Bull Shit Tired of the pain and all of
these games wondering when my life will change!
Happy #660575
Love can never be so beautiful without FRIENDSHIP!
Funny #684099
wow your calling me girlie wile your standing in front of me arguing about chipping a nail. just rip them
off all ready!
Christmas #625257
"MERRY CHRISTMAS" if this offends you "MERRY CHRISTMAS'
Women #668741
Says,"If it has Tits or Wheels on it,its gonna cause a lot of problems sooner or later"
Best friends #687108
You've been there for me when i was sad, mad, depressed, or when no one else was. I could never repay
you for that (doesn't mean I'm not gonna try)! BFF'S!!!
Love #681742
Whenever I look at you it's like I want you. Whenever I talk to you it's like I need you. Whenever you
make me smile I know I'll be with you forever. <3
Mean #686819
You wanna know what I really hate about you? It's that breathing thing you do. In. Out. In. Out. God, I
wish you'd quit doing that.
Angry #676478
Tired of waking up everyday and putting on a stupid fake smile and lying to the world. For once, I wish
everything would be okay.
Depression #650069
I'm tired of being something I'm not: strong. Why do i always comfort people, but no one ever just holds
me and tells me that it'll all be okay?
Truth #658311
Just remember I rather hear the UGLY TRUTH then hear a PRETTY LIE!!
Drinking #655205
Is pretty sure some people could call the bar, their second home! With all the time and money they
spend there, its like paying another mortgage.
Mixed #664760
OK horns or halo? which goes better with my attitude today?
Funny #667577
Roses are red,Violets are blue.
Breakup #650277
I've learned from my bad choices & next time won't settle for anything less than what I deserve.
Best friends #628193
A best friend is someone who all you have to do is say one word and you both bust out laughing.
Love #645550
I like you...but I'm to scared to ask you out...also to scared you don't like me.Can't you just ask me :/ <3
Love #645376
i know what love is, i know i want it, so why cant i find it?
Funny #651263
If only the people in horror movies could hear me screaming "DON'T GO IN THE DAMN ROOM!" they
wouldn't have died!
Facebook #637200
Facebook is a bit like your fridge... You know there's nothing new since the last time, but you check it
anyway.
Lovers #686641
you smile, i smile. you hurt, i hurt. you cry, i cry. you laugh, i laugh. you jump off a bridge, im gonna miss
you.
Funny #626386
*pump* Yeah that's right i just farted
Men #686683
you talk about people I don't like, I'll agree with you
Blonde #678577
WARNING!!: brunette with way too many blond moments!! proceed with caution!!!
Heartbreak #686462
You said you love me. Not true. You said you need me. Not true. You said you want me. Not true.
However I'll be true to you with my heart, soul, and mind always
Relationships #687096
You're the straw to my berry
Life #652227
If you focus your life around making other people happy or always caring about what people think of u
,then ur gonna end up with a very Unhappy life in the end.
Funny #652943
If your bitchy and you know it clap your hands! (clap clap clap)
Boyfriend #645690
i love how we talk for hours about nothing :P :)
Best friends #684787
You are the water to my fountain, the sour to my patch, the cup to my cake, the jump to my rope, but
seriously, you are the best to my friend :)
Jokes #679402
well..it looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the Dumpster this morning ..you hormonal
bitch
Wisdom #671970
Success is having the courage, determination, & the will. Failure is making excuses why you didn't
succeed & blaming others around you because you didn't
Bitchy #636464
Ever felt your blood boiling because you had to shut your mouth and listen to someone's backstabbing
lies and gossip??
Christmas #632712
Came home to find all the doors and windows open and everything gone..what kind of sick person
would do that to someone's advent calendar??
pissed off #655261
is ready to throw themself down on the floor and throw such a fit that would put a 2 year old to shame!
Advice #686614
you shouldn't have to be told that by a 12 y/o...
Love pain #652471
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it
never was yours
Coffee #653812
is brought to you today by the miracle of coffee!
Angry #648684
I'd rather die than give you control.
Mean #661755
Me? Go to Hell? Psh, I guess you didn't know "I VACATION THERE!"
Karma #636563
every action has a consequence;all tomorrows are based on what you do today.Bury your head in the
sand and that just leaves your ass exposed to a good kicking!
Christmas #679916
What the fuck they's doing round my house, I don't know.
Humor #680075
WHAT?!
Best friends #639372
Good friends will laugh at you when you do something stupid. Your best friend will take pictures.
Bitchy #676143
This smile doesn't mean I agree with you. It means you're about to be in a world of pain...
Mixed #645849
i love rumors dude i have to say i find out the most interesting things i didn't even know about myself its
truly amazing
Funny #669037
see my nice new white jacket?! it's quite wonderful, it lets me hug myself, AND it's buckles are nice and
new and shiny... SHINY, I SAY :D
Love #634735
do u relize im in luv with u n u jus ignore me face it u cnt ignore love
Love hurts #640926
Hates when the guy leads you on then tells you that want you anymore
Life #673716
the queen walk in and pulled down their top if you are busy next week and the week after can i meet
you in the middle while liking their boobs yum yum
Love pain #671034
sometimes life has a way of punching you in the face, knocking all your teeth out and then expecting you
to smile after :(
Fun #641280
Hear No evil
Philosophy #624531
"Believe in tomorrow & what it will bring, for things will work out if you trust & believe there's no limit
to what you can do"
Annoyed #652865
If you're going to talk about me behind my back, don't smile at me to my face!
Love you #643028
i am thinking of you and wish i could be with u right now!<3
Justin bieber #661976
mirror mirror on the wall, who's the hottest of them all? JUSTIN DREW BIEBER!! <3 <3 <3 <3 dats right!
Single #653829
is changing their relationship status to 'crazy cat lady'
Politics #666471
politics don't they mean pol-a- pricks???
Boyfriend #656990
It's amazing how i still get butterflies when i know I'll see you, how i still smile when i hear your voice,
and you still take my breathe away when you walk in
Breakup #655456
is smiling because I know something you don't know and when you do find out, I'll be laughing my ass
off. Just say-in!
Pain #649652
I'm not sure what hurts more, the fact that you lied to me or the fact that, in your eyes, I wasn't even
worth the truth.
Rednecks #685628
you know that your a redneck if you think it is a good idea to hook a car hood up to a four-wheeler and
ride around in the snow.
Alone #675444
thinks it's funny how people say they will be there 4 u, yet when u need someone the most, absolutely
NO ONE steps up to the plate...
Boys #658866
knows guys without girls are bachelors... but girls without guys are geniuses
Bitchy truth #632764
Can someone please tell me why it is necessary to stare at a McDonald's Menu for longer then 15
seconds? Haven't they had the same shit on it for the last 25 yr
Facebook addiction #644705
I have a life away from Facebook. I just don't know where I put it...
Bored #651768
If we didn't have Facebook, what would we be doing right now? comment below ;D
Funny #650931
if i was a video game and have health bar i would get to the end and never come back but i aren't a
video game and i don't have a health bar so i play on crap
Alone #654870
is not afraid that they will end up alone because they already knows they will
Forgiveness #628759
A huge part of real love is constant forgiveness
Mixed #677962
used a reality check to pay for my sanity, but it bounced.
Bitchy #632616
By Taylor Destiny!
Bedtime #680022
What's that you say, Bed? Blanket is being mean to you again? Sounds like I need to separate you two.
Good night, all!
Heartbreak #666977
Real tears are not those that fall from your eyes and cover your face, but that fall from your heart and
cover your soul.
Sleepy #644182
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Humor #651364
If someone came and threw fries at me and said "I'm loving it" id buy a foot long and say 5 5 dollar 5
dollar 5dollar foot long you can get one at subway.
Quotes #625524
"That's what you think, Captain Cocky!" ~ Goku
Humor #634940
Does the cheese come out of the cow with the holes in it?
Sarcastic #684737
you are not as bad as everybody says. you are much, much, MUCH worse :D. i get that alot. yeah im
pretty sure you do.
Bitchy truth #634096
dear person who shall remain unnamed: just because I'm nice to you, does not mean i like you, it only
means that my mother taught me better than that
Funny #675826
thinks the wheelie bin goes out more often than they does.
Love #639221
God will always love you no matter how bad, sad, selfish, jealous, or anything else like that, God will
always love you and be your savior.:)
Boys #645708
I love how, I'm not perfect. I can be pretty bitchy, and there are a lot of other girls better then me. And
yet you chose me (: I love you! <3
Sad #653507
is a mirror who never cracks
Morning #676936
Today's bad attitude is proudly sponsored by the husband!
God #625478
"Sometimes we plan, and God laughs" - Annie Camden
Trust #669249
She whispers "I Am Afraid of Falling" He smiles "I'll Catch You"
Bitchy #661857
men/women if u had some 1 called your phone & said your soul mate was cheating on u who would give
them a can of whoop ass LIKE IF YOU WOULD
Annoyed #632821
can't find a status that suits how they felt today....
Truth #635482
don't lie to me to make me feel better, i can handle the truth i can't handle the lies
Humor #651632
if u go in 2 the kitchen and c your Little brother curled up on the floor and chocking on a life saver just
turn away @ if someone ask say u din-it see anything
Annoyed #652962
if your going to ACT like a dumb ass... then I'll TREAT u like a dumb ass... pretty simple, isn't it?
Funny #677451
two blonds were driving to Disney land when they saw a sign in the road saying Disney land left......... so
they went home
Boyfriend #680586
When i told you i liked you i thought you would laugh. When you told me you liked me i thought you
were kidding. I still cant believe you were serious :)
Attitude #651567
If they're telling you somebody else's secrets you can be sure they're telling somebody else yours!
Bitchy #642048
How 2 make my personality: 2 gallons of attitude, 3 cups of bitch plz, 2 tbsp of fuck yhu hoe, and a
generous cup of please kiss my ass
Funny #639277
goin to hang out with all my imaginary friends in the fruit loop garden and play with the glow in the dark
monkeys!!!
Friendship #662388
My best friend and i think alike...the world should be afraid...very afraid
Weird #668844
says: "I can't be held responsible for doing what the Rice Krispies tell me to do!"
Twilight #647894
i was asked why fat girls like twilight, i replied coz dreaming about vampires and werewolves is much
better than idiots like you :P
Funny #646586
I need a new life. The one I had killed themself, and the one I want is too expensive, and the one I need
keeps running from me. Any help?
Bitchy #628247
A bitch is what you wanted a bitch...a crazy bitch is what you are gonna get! Cross that line one time and
then we are gonna see who is more crazy!!!
Kids parents #656730
It is worrying when you realise your daughter is starting to get an attitude like yours :-(
Crazy #665119
omg... OMG! i just saw a purple polka-dotted penguin dance with a pink pony while flying on gummy
bears! that looks like fun!
Kids parents #681682
When your kids grow up they will realize that when you said no, you were saying I love you.
Animals #682615
Why is it that a two pound cat makes more noise running through the house than a herd of elephants?
Funny thought #669922
So my imaginary friend told me today that your imaginary friend stole their crayons and called them a
hoe..is that true?
Funny random #646795
I put a note on my mirror this morning. It says "objects are smaller than they appear."
God #657341
It's only through God that I've found a fullness of JOY. Chasing anything else for pleasure has made me
feel like an insatiable rat in a maze.~Donna Taklif~
Mixed #674640
There's a Blond, brunette, and redhead going into 3rd grade which one had a baby?
Evil #624401
" notice, we will be removing all warning labels and watching the idiots become extinct! muahahahaha!"
Crazy #660280
lol
Annoyed #678437
wants to push you down a flight of stairs to see if you are like a slinky or if you bounce like a ball... either
way, I am quite sure I will be amused!
Funny #666374
Please don't use fowl language on Facebook, lets keep it decent ! I promise never to use fowl language
on any cock, hen or chicken. lol
Sex #627431
16455 people have died from Swine Flu & everyone wants to wear a mask. 21.8 million people have died
from AIDS/HIV & nobody wants to wear a condom. Ponder that.
Drama #657751
Its truly amazing what happens when you let go of all the negativity & drama, your days become so
much better & easier :)
Christmas #674202
There ain't no way is that fat bastard gonna come down my chimney, have you seen the size of my
chimney!
Funny #678455
wants to run away, but knows they'll just jog a short distance, get winded and sit down.
God #679207
We've all heard the expression "count your blessings". Well, here's your chance! List at least five things
(or people) in your life you are grateful for. GO!!
Twilight #671604
Sorry, I'd rather have a warm cuddly wolf than a cold guy that sparkles.
Women #624945
"I'm just old-fashioned gal..I boil my coffee, I like to eat meat and I wear underwear that covers my
entire arse!" - Erica Scott
Humor #659948
like if you agree with me
Blonde #666758
Q: how do you confuse a blond?
Jokes #644598
i hate u. u hate me. lets tie barney to a tree. you'll get the rope and I'll get the gas. lets burn barney's big
fat ass!!
pissed off #686367
you no who you are!!
Bitch #661451
Married Men: stop the cheating and stick with the bitch you said "i do" to because they is still breathing,
so leave me the fuck alone!
Rude #677596
u kno how guys like to stroke their chin? practicing the flirt. think its retarded? yes! they obviously
havent hit puberty? DEFINITELY! ha dont be rude! point!
Humor #632377
Bro: Can I please watch TV? Older Sis: No. Bro: Please? Sis: No. Bro: Yes. Sis: I SAID NO DANGIT, NOW
SHUTUP BEFORE I THROUGH YOU IN A FIREY PIT! HEHE : )
Angry #649102
I'm from America. I speak English. I call a phone number in America. There should only be one option.
Don't even ask if I want to Press el numero dos ass hole
Philosophical #668507
says to always remember that nobody has the right to define who you are. Be true to yourself and too
God, for those are the two opinions that matter most!
Angry #661589
maybe in stead of picking on me you fat cow you should pick on some one your own size and stop telling
every one that I'm lieing:@
Tired #685860
You know you're past the point of tired when a zombie can look at you and say, "Wow, you look like
crap! Go crawl back in your grave!"
Bitchy #683347
Woman Have PMS once a Month. You Men have A**hole Syndrome every other day!!
Chocolate #656283
is wondering when chocolate learned to speak, and how exactly it knows my name!
Facebook #637271
facebook: a place where u can pretend to be ok and no one will ever know the difference
Funny crazy #649085
I'm fat so what. guess what I'm harder to kidnap, skinny bitches!! :D
Life lessons #648689
I'd rather live my life to the fullest then to conduct myself in a certain way to gain approval from others.
i have no regrets and especially no apologies.
God #665664
Our prayers and God's mercy are like two buckets in a well. While one ascends, the other descends. I'm
praying God descends their blessings upon us all today!
Wisdom #629169
A true intention or belief does not need to be spoken. It is revealed through ones actions.
Bored #685914
You know your bored when you are shuffling your status while waiting for your crops to be ready for
harvest on Farm-ville
Chocolate #658223
just learned the scientific name for chocolate is Theobroma, meaning "food of the gods"? How
appropriate...
Coffee #676025
This is a scratch and sniff Status...
Confused #642271
How is it that the one person who once made you so happy now makes you so sad and angry?!
Trust #677343
trusting u was my decision..proving it right was yours.. wish i had known, my decision was wrong..
Bored #656907
It wasn't me unless it was good then I did it two times
Crush #637936
For where I truly want to be,
Religious #667231
RELIGION: retarded envious lunatics incorrectly guided into oafish notions :)
Funny #671361
Sometimes you just gotta say "to hell with it!" & do it anyway! Have no regrets..Whats done is
done...And at the time...It sure was fun ;)
Love pain #682110
why am I sitting in the exact spot I never wanted to be in, again?
Bitchy #658259
Just ONCE I would like to make it through an entire day without having a WTF moment!!
Bitch #630815
awwwwwwwww, it's cute that you think i give two fucks when really i dont!
Religion #638352
From now on when people do me wrong I am going to think to myself; What would Jesus do? Set them
on fire and send them to hell
Confused #681115
When they was starting to think everything was coming together... it fell apart
Bitch #642652
I am a woman, I am not a princess. I have emotions, a temper, opinions, a very loud voice, and one hell
of a right hook
Crazy #649330
I'm n the woods with a barking cow and a wingless bird.Who wants to play Monopoly?
Love #672585
that one girl in front of whom they willingly kneels down u2665
Philosophy #682783
Why is it, time can ease the regret of things we wish we hadn't done, but it only makes worse the regret
of things we wish we had done?
Mixed #653130
im in my p.j's im relaxed and i dont feel like moving my lazy ass anywhere
Love #636384
Even though I think about you everyday I should quit trying, it didn't work out the first time, it wasn't
meant to be. But why can't I get you off my mind..?
Sad #653975
Is emotionally going to shut down for a cpl of days to figure out what the hell is going through their
head. And they if they can straighten all of it out.
Humor #665968
People like you don't grow on trees... They usually just swing from them.
Bitch #638458
fuck u bitch ass my give a damns bust i don't give a shit any more so just fuck off
Family #662559
My family tree has some pretty twisted roots, crooked branches, and sharp thorns.
Witty #682456
Why do you need a nail-gun? to fix the sculpture i have in the garden, it keeps collapsing! What
sculpture? It's called Giant Jenga!!
Life #647020
I see u crying on the side, I come to comfort u but u turn your back on me. Again i try to make u happy.
At the end u come for me but i wont be there for you.
Jokes #645000
i haz a plastic sword.. FEAR ME!
Monday #633688
Damn Monday, why do you always have to ruin my weekend!
Friendship love #687378
Your my best friend,
Justin bieber #651710
if u think I'm the #1 fan of Justin Bieber like this and if u think I'm obsessed with Justin Bieber comment:)
Heartbreak #670981
Sometimes it is difficult to say good bye to someone At that time hold your breath cross your fingers and
pray to God hardly Give me strength to say a sweet bye
pissed off #642657
I am about to start a new game of Chinese whispers.
Jokes #645007
I heard an Owl in the trees last night, and my first thought was, "Finally! MY LETTER!"
Break ups #644548
i hate myself for falling in love because i know ill get hurt
Blonde #655484
is so bored that they has spent the last 30 minutes posting shuffle statuses
Bitch #680612
when i was little my parents said i could grow up and be anything i wanted to be.>>
Bitchy #684661
You are a stupid ass bitch and you need to stop running your God damn mouth cause if you don't i will
fuck your entire life up
Most popular #653229
In life there are two certainties: You'll never get everything you want, and you'll never want everything
you get..
Bitchy #658501
Just wondering, But if the Subject were to Ever come up, Where is The best Place to hide a Body?
Humor #658288
Just realized something: If winners never quit, and quitters never win, who's the IDIOT that came up
with the phrase: quit while you're ahead?
Breakup #686617
You shouldnt have done what you did. Now you have karma to deal with. And shes a much bigger bitch
than me. :)
Inspirational #624662
"Eternal life does not begin with death; it begins with faith."
Jokes #652397
If you like chocolate then like this if you hate it then like this then unlike this if you--oho shiny!
Funny #654770
is lost in wonderland.. leave a message at the beep. BEEP!!
Breakup #682477
Why does everything always go wrong when I'm finally happy?. I miss you </3 -Sara Allred <3
Friendship #638262
Friends we are and friends we'll be. Friends forever you and me (:
Angry #662454
My business ain't Your business, So Unless your my Thong, DON'T be up My Arse !!
Sarcastic #675212
Things which u cant say on someones face,,u easily type on FB and share it among hundreds of
friends,,STRANGE!
Karma #658565
karma is a bigger bitch than me and in the end it's gonna kick you in the butt. so keep screwing up so
karma can have its fun.
Love you #686606
You should see my smile and reaction i make when you call or txt me!(: I love you!
Pain #625515
"Tell me the truth."
Boyfriend #665690
outta all the guys out there that i could of picked i picked you and you just don't even give a fuck
anymore. :(
Love #637589
feels sorry for everyone else because she has the greatest boyfriend in existence and no one else can
have him <3
Bedtime #679315
Well I've had enough of this. my sheep are too tired to even jump over the stupid fence, they've huddled
up together and started counting crickets!Good(yawn)ZZZ
Alone #649780
I'm scared that I'm going to end up alone. I'm scared that I'm always going to be somebody's friend, or
sister, or confident, never quite somebody's everything
Bitchy #684538
Yes, you have the right to express you're opinion, but I still have the right to think your stupid
Boyfriend #686057
You make me the happiest I have ever been and with each passing day you consume my mind more and
more then I thought possible
Bitchy #686973
You're a bitch and I'm done dealing with it! So go screw up Someone Else's life!
Funny #644935
I have something to say "Purple crayons do not taste like grapes".
Life #659914
Life's too short to worry about what people may think or talk about you, do what you want to do and be
happy
Funny #673660
the phone in your hand,
Angry #676746
To the people who thought it'd be fun to shit on my day: "Y'all must know a DAMN good proctologist
because only a genius could stretch assholes as big as you!"
Bitch #672815
the bitches that make life hard...
Life phrases #676905
Today is the start of a new adventure. New challenges to face, new memories to make, and new
obstacles to overcome <3
Chocolate #627363
1,2 skip a few 99,100 finished my exercises for the day now where is that chocolate u promised? :P
Mixed #670474
Some people were dropped as a baby, while some were clearly thrown to the roof, hit the ceiling fan &
fell into a pit of stupidity! Either way...they're STUPID!
Funny #633734
Dares you to walk down the street and throw skittles at people and yell "TASTE THE FUCKING RAINBOW
DAMN IT"
Funny #629946
Am I the only one who is starting to feel like Jack Nicholson in "The Shinning"? Here's Johnny!!! HA HA
Bitch #665867
people are always spreading rumors bout me saying oh they did this they did that well they don't give a
damn go spread that!!
Depression #654422
is having one of those days when I'm so glad to know that Jesus loves me. With that in mind, everything
else will be okay.
Annoyed #658359
Just so ya know, I'm trained in CPR with the use of a defibrillator. That means that I can choke the life
out of you, then resuscitate you and do it again. :P
Crazy #625349
"oh nothing, the voices just are informing me that you know too much and that it would be in my best
interest to eliminate you."
Funny #683838
Word of advice: Never, EVER, take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time..I'm just saying!
Sex #669463
Silly child, Sex is for addicts!
Love you #630878
Baby I'm not scared to fall in love with you...I'm just scared that i will lose you, and be heartbroken once
more.
Funny #628544
A friend will break something at Ur house and go "I'm so sorry ill pay for it!" but a best friend will break
something look at u and say"i think i broke it :)"
Drama #636002
dramas a bitch watch it it might hit you in the butt
Insane #671795
still thinks a small minority of people in their family are not all the ticket.
Humor #650485
If a tree falls on the web page, and no one is logged on to hear it, does it clash pixels?
Breakup #636758
Every time I see your number or name come up on my phone...[Even though we're only friends now...] I
remember how much I want you back :'(
Haters #633786
Dear all my haters, I just wanna say thanks for thinking about me! Love you lots! ;)
Funny #655695
is that good that they doesn't clap, they high-fives themself.
Bitchy #630735
Attempting to give a damn... Unable to give a damn. Stopping. Process failed. Damn not given.
Funny #634957
doesn't care the purple pony says your a liar
pissed off #641895
Hold on, let me go get my boots... The bullshit is getting a little deep in here.
pissed off #685225
You could never be on my level... So how about I come down to yours and beat your ass!!
Bitchy #651276
if only you could see through my eyes you would no what a bitch you are acting like
Christian #672513
Thank you, God, for all the ways You bless me every day. May I always have a thankful heart. Amen.
Life #653870
is content in my life at this moment. Hard choices have been made, and I am finally at peace with myself
and my life.
Boys #638844
Girls are made of sugar, spice, and everything nice. Guys are made of stupidity, lies, and everything we
dispise.
Blonde #630853
B.L.O.N.D.E = beautiful, loving, one of a kind, nice, ditsy, energetic
Encouragement #637845
For every night, there is day
Best friends #645762
I love my best friends and I promise I'll always be there for them like they're always there for me and no
matter what happens I will always be by their side<3x
Mixed #629276
A:The porno has better music.
Breakup #686791
you took my wife from me.but remember this when you kiss their my dick was in that mouth,and well
my daughter explains what else happened. hope you enjoy fucker
Crazy #642264
how ironic would it be if someone choked on a life savor?
Blonde #636174
easily amused but just as easily confused
Sarcastic #677051
Too bad you are too busy worrying about "YOURS" that you don't see the "US" in it.
Lyrics #649119
I'm goin down down baby yo street in a Range Rover Street sweeper baby cocked ready to let it go
Shimmy shimmy cocoa what Listen to it pound(:
Sarcastic #634380
Diamonds are a girls best friend- Dog is man's best friend! Now who's smart?
Mom #671520
Son 2 Dad: Now wil u will their or shal I?
Bedtime #638932
gnmfiotb..(good night mother fuckers im off to bed)!!
Bedtime #639455
Good Night! Jesus sleep on my friends pillow! Angels cover and protect them! Sweet dreams to all! oh
yea, don't let the bed bugs bite!!!
Pain #627321
1 Earth. 180497 Islands. 7 Continents. 195 Countries. 6,884,909,953 people in the world.
Best friends #639369
good friends will give you a wave goodbye but best friends will jump on you're back like a spider-
monkey screaming"DON'T LEAVE ME!"
Work sarcasm #686740
You think Monday is bad well Tuesday is only a Monday under cover!
Life #681431
When you look at life and say "When does the pain go away?" Just think about your friends and family
and you feel better quicker than ever.
Funny #664401
O.M.G I realised today how important I am because obviously some people just cant keep my name out
of their god damn mouths!! Pathetic ain't it?!
Mixed #673667
The pity train has derailed at the intersection of "suck it up" and "move on" and has crashed into I don't
give a damn. So sorry . . .
Crush #634840
do you realise what you do to me? how can you make me so happy and so sad at the same time? i guess
because i know that no matter what we will just be friends
Lyrics #687919
~Love me or hate me its still an obsession, love me or hate me that is the question, if you love me thank
you, if you hate me then FUCK YOU!~lady sovereign
Bitch #677564
U don't have to like me, u don't have to talk to me... but if u don't know me then y judge me? I may not
be a saint but at least i know my faults.
Sarcastic #669102
Sentences don't make sense without punctuation I'm a language convention snob lol
Mixed #637682
Finds it funny that some people think they are "All that and a bag of chips". When really they are just the
crumbs at the bottom of the bag.
Drugs #677037
Tonight Mathew...I'm going to be..."OFF MY FACE"...
Humor #669919
so my friends aren't the most normal, neither am i so what's your point
Mixed #677674
u r just jealous because I have a self hugging jacket AND a room with padded walls and no windows.
Friendship #628650
A good friend will come bail you outta jail...but a TRUE friend will be sitting next to ya sayin' "dam...we
fucked up..but fuck we had fun!"
Love #672599
That should be me,
Love pain #634042
Dear Mind: Sorry for all the guys.
Humor #647338
I think my Facebook/twitter will be spammed with status just because of Status Shuffle!!!
Witty #674820
they breaks up with you than in less than 24 hours finds someone else...
Single #640190
has changed their relationship status from "single" to "staying single"!!
Jokes #628374
A brunette comes home and tells their blond roommate: "I slept with a brazillion man last night" the
blond replies: "OMG you slut!!how many is a brazilian?
Bedtime #639826
had my fun,caused my trouble,time to go to bed where everything in my life is right
Bitch #631919
BITCH- if that means I stand up for myself. against rumors and lies.
Monday #635510
don't look! i mean it, don't look! oh great, you looked, now Monday knows we saw it and it's going to
come over.
Fun #656034
is trying their best to behave, but their wicked twin is winning the battle! ; ) LOL
Friendship #663506
Never love a stranger
Friendship #676513
To all my friends this Christmas, i wish you peace health and happiness. aw who am i kidding? I wish you
Sex,Alcohol and orgasms and I hope you win the lottery!
Best friends #629479
Ah Best Friends~you laugh, I laugh, you cry, I cry, you fall flat on your arse and I laugh then help you up :)
Sex #646811
I read smoking was bad for you, so I quit. I read drinking was bad for you, so I quit. I read sex was bad for
you, so I quit reading! :)
Harry potter #634206
Dear silly people, Whoever said words can never hurt you? Sincerely, Avada Kedavra and Crucio
Funny thought #663138
My wife just told me to take the salad cream & ketchup to bed with us tonight.
Mixed #632768
Can squirrels get arrested for illegal border crossing???
Love #632929
Casey. we all miss u. Ur not really done. we carry Ur memories with us they will never die
Annoyed #666016
People really should know ALL of the parts of a story instead of just bits an pieces before they jump to
conclusions and assumptions
Lyrics #626009
'm gonna beat the game if it takes me all summer,
Bitchy #656209
is wondering how they wound up being such an asshole magnet.
Love #670586
somebody wants you, somebody needs you, somebody dreams about you every single night, somebody
cant breathe, without you its lonely, that somebody is me (:
Annoyed #633989
Dear Know It All,
Witty #642415
Hugs and love to all my friends and family.
Love #628186
a best friend is a friend it's self, with no strings, or anything, so when u claim to be a best friend and
expect to get something, you're not a friend at all
Attitude #662449
My breaking point has been reached, next person that ticks me off is likely 2 be bitch slapped. I'm not
dealing with any more drama.Dont like it 2 f*cking BAD!!
Mixed #665174
On the road to success, there's a curve called failure, a loop called confusion, speed bumps called friends
& red lights called enemies.
Happy #639914
Happiness is Not a feeling... It is a choice
Chocolate #669481
Since chocolate comes from beans, chocolate is technically a vegetable, and vegetables are good for
you. Works for me!
Sex #668180
says I don't need sex...the government fucks me on a daily basis!
pissed off #685202
you cant see me, but i have my middle finger up and am yelling "i don't give a f**k about how you feel!"
Bitchy truth #675954
thinks your village must be very proud of you ...best fucking idiot for miles around !!!
Mixed #634377
dfhdaifhbadhfvbh.. Now that is shocking...
Annoyed #649943
I'm sorry...I didn't get the memo that said I had to blow sunshine up your ass today!!
Bitchy #630025
and don't give a shit!!.
Mixed #643086
I am who I am. I can't be who I am not. Either love me the way I am or hate me for who I am not.
Lovers #628895
A nonsense conversation makes sense when you're talking with someone special :)
Sarcastic #671831
Stop giving me your shit!
Funny #657254
it's not considered kidnapping if you go willingly. ;)
Rude #648280
I wish I was a witch. I'd shove my broom stick right up your ass.
School #633917
Dear God, why do you allow so much violence in our schools?. signed a concerned student :Dear
concerned student, I am not allowed in schools!
Mixed #660013
Like this status if you would be there for me. Like when I have a problem I'd tell you and you wouldn't
judge no matter how stupid. If you like I'll do the same
Morning #656085
is up and out of bed... my brain will join me later... that is if I had one, I lost it when I had kids!
Bitchy #636430
eventually all your lies will catch up with u & u will be left with nothing... let me know how that goes for
u?
Bitchy #669798
So glad some of the shit people say on here is not heard in real life. I'd have to bitch slap someone!
pissed off #668119
says do whatever you want to me...but mess with my daughter and you better run for your life because
I'm coming after you and hell's coming with me...
Sarcastic humour #652890
If you're looking to have it your way, you better take your ass to Burger King!
Bitchy #649712
I'm on my way to the store to buy me a big bottle of FUCK-IT!!
Heartache #663993
No one ever really realizes how much they love and care about someone until they're gone
Funny random #664402
O.M.G I realized today how important I am because obviously some people just cant keep my name out
of their god damn mouths!! Pathetic ain't it?!
Crazy #644444
I had to kill an apple because they ate a banana, who ate a taco, who ate a cookie named George!!!
Witty #675884
thinks this world needs an enema... we really need to clean out all of the assholes!
Hope #681041
When the days are darkest, it is your friends that light the way.
Happy #624614
"don't "complete" better!" galvin
Funny #676374
Time files when you're dyslexic.
Sex #655510
is so good at sex, that even the neighbours have a fag after!!!
Haters #652096
If you don't like juggalettes and juggalos then i suggest that you visit www.fuck-off.com.So that we can
let you know how much we don't like you.
Random thoughts #681081
When the telemarketers call I answer and I ask them. "Whatcha wearing?" They've only told me like 10
times. and they don't mind it.
Love you #651180
If love was water, I'd send you a sea, if love was time I'd send u eternity, but if love was a person, I'd
send u me. :)
pissed off #629751
all U haters out there who think its funny to laugh & joke about me behind my back, fuck you. i don't
need ppl like you in my life, id rather have no friends
Bitch #636178
Easy come... Easy go... He's a bitch & she's a hoe! ((They deserve each other & I deserve waaay better))
Break ups #667569
Roses are red, violets are blue, you hurt my best friend, no your arse'll meet my shoe
Mixed #625109
"Jack-In-The-Boxes" are like a can of biscuits...they scare the living SHIT out of you when they POP!
Love #638400
fuck i hate it when a girl likes you and they wont admit it to your face
Witty #643250
I can dodge bullets just like Neo... If you throw them at me. :)
Friendship #681035
When the aliens come, When the death rays hum, When the bombers bomb, We'll still be freakin'
friends.
Breakup #635255
Don't cry, everything will get better, just keep in mind that before it does it will hurt
Angry #648657
I'd like to say my give-a-shit button is broken, but truth be told I never had one to begin with.
Bitchy #665010
OMG .. some people crack me up with their stupidity .. at least it provides me with free entertainment
:o)
Bitchy #680496
When I say "Don't piss me off, you'll regret it" That is NOT a threat, it's a promise.
Bitchy #646398
I maybe a bitch, I may be ugly, I may swear, I may fight, I may lie...but you can never call me a cheater.
Rude #667811
saw a woman go on the antiques road show,they placed a tampon on the table and said there u go you
clever cunt tell me what period thats from .
Breakup #642520
I accept my past knowing that without having lived through it, I would have never learned what I truly
deserve in my future!
Christian #678986
We have not come into the world to be numbered; we have been created for a purpose; for great
things: to love and be loved. ~ Mother Teresa
Love #644301
I gave up on Once upon a time and happily ever after along time ago, but then I met you
Hurt #624917
"I won't force myself to have space in your life, coz if you know my worth, you'd create it for me!
Sarcastic #677868
until then
Friendship #630057
and God said "Let there be Facebook so the socially challenged people can still have friends"
Crazy #671829
Stop following me! u bastard butt!! :P
Advice #663883
no matter how long your path is,there's no reason to give up, just keep on going and someday you'll
reach the end. ;)
Friendship #631662
Best friends are made with a recipe :)
Life #635058
Doesn't understand why if some family helps you out with things in life, they throw it up in your face
later? if that's the case then i don't want s**t from you
Crush #625500
"Stop looking for someone to love,just open your eyes because that person is right in front you"
Humor #624546
"Can I have a Diet Coke please? " Server says, "Is Diet Pepsi OK?" I say, "Is monopoly money OK?"
Life #636535
Ever think about what love would be like if we didn't have those wonderful fairy tales to compare it to?
Then love would be perfect...
Faith #625645
"To have God on our side doesn't mean sailing on a boat with no storms, it means having a boat that no
storm can sink!"
Love #633316
Come on Mom. When I say I love you for no apparent reason, it's because I want something. I would
think you would have known that by now.But I do love you!
Love you #682539
why dose that someone never want you but you want them really bad xxx
Funny #624684
"Exit the car!"- police
Best friends #675335
thinks being best friends isn't being inseparable, its being separated and nothing changes
Breakup #645416
I know you think you broke my heart, but i saw your game from the start. I saw your game played it too,
now laugh you fucking player, the jokes on you.
Bitch #666324
Piss me off and you'll see why I am Passing with and A in Bitches 101
Heartbreak #662001
misses the laugh that made me smile, and the eyes that said they cared...
Sex #650474
If a Rooster is a cock, how do you get Cock out of a Penis???
Humor #639434
Good Morning. Have a great day and don't get in any unwanted trouble unless you invite me of course.
Love #679997
What's done in the dark will always surface in the light.
Bored #655630
Is Suffering..With A Real Bad Dose Of..C.B.A...(Cant B Arsed)
Bitchy #632969
CAUTION. The bitch switch is in the on position proceed at your own risk. CAUTION.
Family #662544
MY FAMILY are the only people i need in my life because every single one of them are amazing
Funny thought #624904
"I think my thinking thinks thoughts that thought they think they're thinking when I'm thinking ". I
thought i think my thoughts, but I thought wrong"
Bitchy #638838
girls 1 : watts the time any one??
Life #687801
~ You are my love, my life, and my world... without you I'd be nothing but dust in the wind if I was lucky
;)
Witty #636126
DYSFUNCTION - abnormal or unhealthy interpersonal behavior or interaction within a group. Doesn't
that just scream party looking for a place to happen?
Family #635213
Don't blame me for the hand you've been dealt that has caused you to be angry, bitter, & hateful. I'm
loving my life & the ones I'm choosing to keep in it.
Witty #678570
WARNING!!! The devil drunk in my cheerios this morning...Bitch mode has now been activated!
Love #653121
im a pretty happy person without you. :)
Rude #643985
I don't say anything until you give me a reason to and when that mouth of yours starts running your legs
better be faster than your mouth.
Coffee #633822
Dear Coffee, Thank you for always being here for me every morning to wake me up and give me lots of
energy...I couldn't do it without you! Love, Me!
Bitchy #647357
I think some people are starting to realize that I don't like them that much IT'S ABOUT TIME!
Missing you #652197
If you ever miss me to much , check your heart i will always be there for you and never let you down...x
Break ups #672021
super glue isn't always the key to fixing things because it didn't work on my heart.x
Justin bieber #662104
MOM: what a cute little girl. CHILD: that is Justin Bieber you stupid idiot.
Bitchy #665822
paybacks a bitch so watch it
Hate #658800
KISS MY FUCKING ASS!:)
Humor #669428
sigh...life?
Mixed #666900
Rate me : 1) Cant live without me 2) I love you<3 3) I hate you 4) Your Sexy 5) MINE!! 6) Funny 7)
Emotional 8) FUCK YOU!!! 9) hot
Funny #631599
bella:i no wat u r.edward:say it.out loud.bella:spiderman.edward:wat no!how can u..bella:u were bitten
by a spider edward:no! bella:liar!edward:ugh bella!haha:)
Love #669077
Sei molto bella.
Life #662252
Most things that happen in your life are caused by your own actions and the people you let in to your
life. So don't whine about it fix it.
Bedtime #631223
bedtime is my favorite time of the day because i get to go in a sleep with peaceful dreams and look its
bedtime right now night everyone
Best friends #667729
said you are not my friend you are not my best friend you are not a true friend your my sister:)
Humor #631812
Bill says to Ben 'Floba loba lob' Ben replies 'If you loved me you would swallow it'
Love #662750
My heart was a incompleted puzzle and then I met you and now its completed. You are the only puzzle
of my life. I love you!
Happy #667459
Right now I feel like things are gonna get better from now on. I love this feeling :) I feel happy again :)
Sex #655791
Is thinking how much fun it would be to have sex on bubble wrap :D
Humor #687114
you've got the strength God gave all women to survive. You just have to tap into it.
Blonde #632009
Blond what does OMFG mean
Love #634724
Do u have a magnet inside too? cause i cant seem to let you go..love you babe<3 <3
Confused #640579
has so many questions in their life right now.. I wonder if Google would help :P
Annoyed #638666
gets migraine headaches from the undying urge to choke the life out of certain people..
Angry #644980
I have tried being nice, now considering that doesn't work I'm going to go back to a cold hearted bitch
that couldn't give a fuck for anyone!!!
Rednecks #630686
At lest my boobs are real...
Funny #656684
It is no virtue to be well-adjusted to a sick society
Sleepy #659176
Lemme go bang that out right quick.
Mad #639100
God grant me the serenity to accept that people are ignorant, the courage to uphold the law when I'm
hostile, & the wisdom to realize that murder is illegal
Bored #655640
is sure that your not aware that you can't say... IRISH WRISTWATCH! Did you try it? I told you
Hurt #685469
You have to learn when to give up, when to walk away, Even if it hurts ... Especially if it hurts.
Jokes #632383
brother r sister-BOO holy shit u scared me lol
Funny #646557
i must be bored, Ive just spent 30 minutes looking through statuses on Status Shuffle and not finding
anything that suits me! how annoying. lol. xxxx
Heart broken #686415
you promised you'd never leave, you promise you'd never cause me any pain. well look where i am now.
alone, and in pain. one question. why?
Stress #657595
Its hard to get your ass above water when some ones foot is on top of your head!
Philosophy #683157
wishes their bank balance would grow as quick as their washing pile!!!
Mad #664383
nuttier than a squirrels Arse!
Blonde #672981
The dumb blond cause the other 2 don't exist ;) x
Sex #658691
Keep smiling. It makes every one wonder what you did last night
Funny #659054
last night was just damn. did that shit really happen?
Facebook #659002
knows you are addicted to Facebook, when you already have your statuses for the next week sorted in
your head.
Christmas #661904
Merry Christmas. If you are offended, too bad I stand up for my GOD, Santa, The Easter bunny and by
golly the tooth fairy! I support religion, I am an American!
Bedtime #633573
Crops are Harvested-Animals are Feed-Trees are empty So I am going to bed!
Evil #668025
says "When I was born the devil said Oh shit! Competition!"
Lyrics #679056
We never get respect, never a fair trial. No one gives a shit as long as we smile.
Christian #634925
does not know what the future holds, all he/she knows is that God holds the future.
Humor #662071
mom mom mommy momma mom mom mommy momma WHAT!! hi hahahahahaha
Funny #655502
is so embarrassed because I'M BY YOU!
Mixed #626322
*burps* what was it something i said :O
God #671663
Spread the Gospel!
Karma #658607
Karma is only a Bitch if you are!
Christian #625797
"Worry is caused by not trusting God to take care of the various situations in our lives." JM
Mixed #663692
Next time some one throws a bag of skittles or a taco or a bottle of Dr. pepper at me; I am going to toss
a Christmas card at them saying "GO ELF YOUR SELF"
Life #628799
A little birdie told me the other day, "You know that wall you always had around you? I think you should
put it back up for awhile".
Happiness #644116
I don`t need lots of $$ or a fancy car ..cause I`ve already got it all ..It`s Happiness ! My Hubby, My Kids &
My Family ! In case you don`t know, I Love You All
Jokes #666258
Person 2)"I-T HA! YOU CAN'T FOOL ME, FOOL!"
Lyrics #631963
Black keys are sad moments;
Sarcastic #656761
It may only be 8 seconds baby but saddle up its a hell of a ride
Best friends #685720
You know when your Best Friends when..
Breakup #632426
Bugger me! WTF was I thinking and how the F*@K do I undo all those wasted years?
Funny #648881
I'm a ninja! Well, I would have been but I got kicked out of ninja school. I'm not sure why, but I think it
was because when I was doing a ninja move I farted.
Depression #680006
What's inside? The deepest pain. Little knowledge. Never gained.
Bitch #627273
..yes I am a BITCH..Babe In Total Control of themself..so wanna make something of it!
Lonely #671689
Star light.. Star Bright.. Where the hell is Mr. Right? I'm lonely, and now I'm even worse.. fml
Questions #634496
did you know that 15% of households in a survey stated they only consume 8 cans of beer in 1 week
however a survey of their garbage revealed a lot more than 8?
Boys #679129
we were best friends we talked all the time now we don't talk and i think it is because you know i like
you
Random thoughts #642682
I am beautiful in my flaws and perfectly imperfect..
Bitchy #660096
Lite the fuse!
Bitchy #634998
doesn't know how clear they's made it that they's having a bad day so PLEASE don't volunteer yourself
to fall victim to a bipolar episode, seriously.
Relationships #629550
Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore
Sarcastic #647153
I spend 8+ hours a day, 5 days a week attached to a phone. Hell, no I'm not gonna answer my own.
Kids #680429
when i kiss my son goodnight i realize hes the best achievement in my life x love u baby boy x
Sad #659898
life's so shit it makes wot comes out the dog's ass look good!
Lonely #682112
Why am I so invisible? I'm invisible 24/7 unless sum1 needs something. I'm a person 2 & I do have
feelings & they do matter. Trouble is, they only matter to me.
Sex #654924
is not recommended for everyone and is known to cause dizziness, sweating, hallucinations and is Highly
Addictive. You may report unusual side effects below.
Funny #666865
raise Ur hand if u think I'm insane! yea well now who's the crazy one with Ur hand raised with nobody to
see it? loser!
Politics #656942
It's a call to action for people who, like me, believe in America. So let's shake off the horseshit and go to
work.~Lee Iacocca Where Have All the Leaders Gone?
Death #659649
Life is not about extravagance, materialism, or money. Its about loving the people that matter most
because you will never know if you will see them tomorrow.
Boyfriend #687520
Your the one i can run to with make up down my face and hair is a mess and all you will say is "who do i
gotta punch this time babe?" I LOVE YOU<3
Friendship love #662700
My heart already knows what my head can't accept.
Sex #662637
my friends, I wish you peace, love and health. Blah, Blah blah... screw that! I wish you lots of sex, booze,
orgasms and a great big fucking Lottery win :))
Funny #658582
Karma is a bitch. Remember that.(;
Bitchy #648212
I wish for once Bitches could stop trying to be me. My shoes ain't easy to fill but if u are so desperate to
try. Here Have it, I need a fuckin Vacation!
Bitchy #661921
Mess with me or hurt me, I will walk away. Just remember I do not get angry, I get even :) One day you
will get the God smack you deserve!!
Humor #641648
Hey Ted Williams, you have the perfect face for radio.
Love you #627339
1 universe 8 planets 7 continents 100+ countries 50 states 6 billion + people
Advice #676388
time goes by fast so capture the unforgettable moments, remember the special, hold onto the fun and
don't forget the people that helped you create these moments
Funny #685724
you know where you make your status at well if you click on friend additions and it says invite your
friends they might come up with something funny I say sure
Politics #665507
Only 1/5th of what comes out of their crotch is retarded.
Trust #639217
God whispers to us, "Love Me without fear, trust Me without wondering, love Me without reservations"
Humor #657098
It's funny because pudding
Bitchy #669941
So skank u wanna watch wat u saay now </3
Boys #632315
Boys ey? were suppose to be unique..well...Boys are all the same,so you got that wrong whoever made
unique
Crazy #626140
's status is sponsored by the letters W T F.
Boys #677809
Um mm just to let you know I'm not Ur toy, OK i do have feelings... sooooo F**K OFF :D
Coffee #654894
Is not fully functional in the morning until after they's had their first cup of coffee...who is they kidding
sometimes they's not even functional after that
Bitch #656941
It's a bitch when you can't find a job for certain months!
Boys #644600
I hate when boys breakup with me. good thing i have to big brothers that can kick their ass when they
does>:)
Strength #679062
We never know what strength we have until life begins to test us.
Sarcastic #630703
At the end of every day there's nothing like having ur man wrap their arms tightly around you and
whisper those three little words in ur ear.."wheres my dinner?"
Mixed #684263
ya well you know i gotta say about that.
Bitch #642827
i am not a whore I'm a bitch and its true so please call me bye my name Mrs bitch to you :)
Men #633112
Chocolate, men and coffee. Some things are better dark, hot and full-bodied.
Christmas #669339
Should I be naughty or nice?? Decisions, decisions!
Life #654308
is gonna get fit or die trying!
Best friends #626792
... me without my best friend? Get real, that's like a fat kid passing up a happy meal.
Mixed #681858
while thinking of revenge two sayings came to mind: revenge is a dish best served cold and revenge is
sweet. i came to the conclusion that revenge is ice cream.
Sleepy #682381
Why do people say they want to sleep like a baby when babies never sleep thru the night? I wanna sleep
like an old man in a Southern Baptist Church on Sunday!
Lonely #666119
People tell me to move forward but I don't know HOW to live without you and I don't want to learn. I
miss you!
Sex #661643
Me and my bird went to the top of the hill so i could get their wet there was a puddle at the bottom u
dirty Bastard
Jacob black #625618
"they broke their hand...Hitting my face" Eclipse, Jacob black (Taylor Lautner)
Mixed #636154
Each moment of your life is a picture u have never seen before and will never see again so live each
moment to make it count & make each moment beautiful
Chocolate #682060
Whoever decided that a one inch mars bar should be called 'fun size' needs to seriously re-examine their
standards for entertainment.
Justin bieber #627820
99.7 girls would cry if Justin bieber jumped off a cliff I'm that 0.3 percent that would shout
Humor #665108
OMG, I'm rich!,Silver Hair,Gold Teeth, Crystals in the Kidneys,
Heartbreak #628968
a raindrop upon a petal, a teardrop upon an eye. we will think of you now and forever, until we meet in
that endless sky.
God #657981
Just because God doesn't answer doesn't mean they don't care because some of Gods greatest gifts are
unanswered prayers :)
Justin bieber #665217
Once upon a time Justin Bieber got hit by a car
Love #632991
Chances have only been lost when you fail to take them. Fears just get worse when you don't face them.
And Love is only lost when you do not express it.
Best friends #687379
Your my best friend... if you laugh i will laugh... if you cry i will cry... if i push you off a cliff i will laugh
again and then i will go see if your okay!!!
Pain #647104
I smile to hide the pain. I laugh to hide the tears. & I dream, to forget!
Love #671749
Staying with the wrong person the rest of your life for security is no way to live loving the right person is
worth staying for
Politics #679268
Welcome to the Socialist States of America.
Bored #685838
You know you're bored when status shuffle becomes a source of entertainment.
Annoyed #653622
is annoyed... Sometimes I feel like some things are just pointless. Im tired of talking about the same
things, overrrr and overrrr
Bored #637214
Facebook is like the fridge, you know there is nothing new but check it anyway
pissed off #653574
is allergic to your bullshit and excuses..You would think you would have figured that out after me
throwing things at you.
Breakup #637917
for their and nobody else.
Funny #643117
i answered the door this morning,and a 6 foot beetle punched me in the face and called me a cunt
apparently, there's a nasty bug going round
Love #687529
Your the pencil to my paper.
Boyfriend #660660
Love is ALWAYS easy to say,but its not very easy to show.
Love #663900
No matter how much we fight and argue hes still the man that's making my reality better than my
dreams <3
Bitch #653744
is bilingual, I speak bitch too!
Breakup #642021
hopes your next shit is wrapped in barbed wire!
Coffee #664540
oh great. its monday. now where did i leave my stress ball and coffee cup...
Witty #646739
I overheard one guy tell his m8 he used to go out with a massage therapist but he broke it up. "
Apparently every time she won an argument she would rub it in
Mixed #641237
Having the patience to wait for what is meant to be, is the hardest thing to do,but in the end it will be
worth the wait. ~skooter~
Hope #658950
knows that things may never be the same, but maybe one day they'll be even better.
Christian #639251
God, I praise your Holy name. I thank you for your Glorious presence in my life, your encouragement,
Blessings, and wonderful family I have in You. I Love you!
Bitchy #666037
people say I'm A bitch, but not A bitch I'm THE bitch!
Life phrases #659422
Life has it's ups and downs. You will never fully appreciate the ups unless you have some downs.
Boyfriend #685781
You know you have some one special when all they have to do is say Ur name and your heart melts<3
Blonde #664589
oh meh gee! read it, this pig, ish pig, a pig, good pig, way pig, to pig, keep pig, sum1 pig, busy pig, now
read without pig~!! (=
Mixed #673860
The Sun after the rain, the light after the dark, the calm after the storm, the peace after the war,the
warmth after the cold...I thank you that I live again x
Annoyed #677319
Trust me you have not even met my Bitchy side yet!! But keep going, you'll get there!!
Boys #632318
Boys may be stupid.. But they can be some pretty great friends :)
Break ups #639306
Going to Build Walls around my Heart so High And Forget to Add a Door so no one can get in again.
Funny #669301
shit dang!!!
Bitchy #677318
trust me there's been more than 2 World Wars, most of them between me and that bitch I call a mate.
Bitchy #653873
is cranky and in pain and doesn't care to censor their words today.
Friendship #636110
Dumb& / Retarded / Arguments that / Minimize / All good things.
Bitch #648103
I weren't born the bitch, I didn't become the bitch, I was MADE the Bitch ;) But I'm not YOUR Bitch ;)
Bitch #631330
behind this bitch mask is a girl who has just been hurt too many times...
Bitchy #640227
Has decided that being nice gets you nowhere, so maybe if I start acting like a Royal B-itch then maybe
things will change.
Sarcastic humour #667505
Role role role your joint, twist at the end, lick the sides and light it up and pass it to a friend.
Jokes #676111
This morning i stepped on a piece of Cyrille dose that make me a Cyrille killer?
Funny #658662
keep an eye on your thawing lobsters
Religious #687734
~ I don't forgive people because I am weak, I forgive them because I'm strong enough to know people
make mistakes. ~
Humor #640298
has figured out why the world is so crazy. They really took it serious when one said, "if you can't have an
open mind then don't have one at all."
Jokes #638757
girl: 'no I'm not'
Best friends #660012
Like this status if you miss someone right now, anyone at all.
Sarcastic #654330
is gonna use the fertilizer from all these shitty situations to get some growth.
Witty #645135
i just made u read my status for nothing. its great being in control. who's my bitch?ur my bitch! now
crack on with whatever u were doing until i need u again!
Annoyed #684550
Yes.. I am just a pocket full of fuckin sunshine
Heart broken #648061
i watch you every day love some one else, and i act like I'm fine but inside I'm dying a thousand times
</3!
Bitchy #666048
People say life's a bitch you say build a bridge and get over it . They say f**k off you say make me you
little bitch and they hit you so you BITE them .
Best friends #679165
We're Annoying?-We're just cooler than you!
Love #677252
True Love is when your Willing to tear out your own heart to give that person what they want.
Angry #651012
If I'm that angry one day and the next seem perfectly fine...do you really think you should eat or drink
ANYTHING I offer you?
Life #687955
~Things are not always the way they seem~
Twilight #635981
Dracula..Barnabus..Louis & LESTAT..Spike & Angel..Selene & Kraven..ERIC & Bill..Edward &
EMMETT..Stephan & Damon Wow so many hot Vamps to choose from! :)
Boys #677740
u want to fuck me but u cant
Sex #669736
Snoop doggy dog on the stereo
Bitchy #677784
ugh! is it ASSHOLE DAY and no one told me?!
Bored #683456
wonders ... does the grapes in wine count as one of your 5-a-day?
Monday #682791
Why is Monday so far away from Friday, but Friday is so darn close to Monday!
Coffee #642812
I am neither legally, morally nor ethically responsible for anything I say or do prior to 3 cups of coffee...
Lies #655558
is so TIRED of the secrets and lies. I wish the WHOLE truth could be told. Then some people eyes would
REALLY be opened WIDE!
Bitch #667838
say something about me & you'll get a warning, say something about the ones i care about & the inner
devil comes for a visit. so think before messing with them.
Best friends #662632
My friends pick me up when I fall down, which is a lot. Thanks to all of you for always being there for
me! <3 <3 <3
Witty #684386
Years come and go, and most of them just plain suck. but you know? i think i can make this one worth it.
Love you #646145
I love you. I will always love you. Forever and always. Always and forever. <3 XOXOXOXX <3
Life #658360
just so you can feel better?
Breakup #685097
you can treat me however you want. just know that when im gone , you cant have me back. in the end ,
your the one wanting what you had, and im the one moving on
Love #645272
I know how HOT you think I am when I tell you what level my Elf-Mage is.
Advice #685026
You can not get back on your feet until you first get up off your ass.
Funny #671969
subtract the facts from non-fiction then it'll be nothing, but if you add your dreams it'll become a
fantasy,unless you're a nerd:P
Sex #637628
Fill in the blank in the comments or if it's bad my inbox ;)
Drama #683716
Wonders why people need to create drama where there is none?!
Bitchy #629603
all i hear from you is "blah blah blah I'm a DIRTY WHORE!"
Drugs #665839
Peanut butter kills more people each month than have ever been directly linked to marijuana use. So
too do bicycles, sex, dog attacks, and police officers.
Insane #656227
is wondering if it's abnormal for me to want to put a phone cord in my ear and walk around talking to
myself "blue team this is red team. Mission is a go".
Sarcastic #641468
Here is to me and here is to you, and if we should ever disagree FUCK YOU here is to me.
Life lessons #635594
Don't Regret Yesterday and the things you cannot change. But change what you can in Tomorrow before
you Regret it! ~~S.Lively.
Life #680304
When fighting or arguing never say hurtful words you don't mean. Once it's there you can't take it back
and words can pack a more powerful punch than any fist.
Boys #655429
is single and wants a boy who will like their no matter what or how they looks and will wake their with
with a text that says your beautiful and i love you
Mixed #662891
my love is the weird person i know...but that's why i cant stand to be away <3
Witty #651562
If they stakes a house for an hour hes called a stalker. And I did that for two days.
Heartache #674606
There was once a time when thinking about u made me happy, and now why is that my heart aches only
when i think about u? :(
Best friends #631616
Best Friend :Do u talk behind my back *Other girl :Noo yr my BFF x best Friend walks away *other girl :
what a stupid Biatch Fuck their BFF don't think so
Harry potter #653158
Imagine! All hell would break loose if Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 and Twilight:Breaking
Dawn were released on the same day! :0 ya, it's scary.
Bored #669224
Shake Shake Shake, Shake your booty!! (_|_) (_/_) (_|_) (__)
God #660655
Love is a verb, it does not need to be said to be heard. - Lesley Stevens
Chocolate #624908
"I wanna get chocolate wasted!" -Grown Ups.
Friendship #670333
some people come into your life and leave footprints on your hearts while others come and make you
wanna leave footprints on there FACE(:!
Mixed #647915
I was eaten last week BUT don't worry I survived!!!
Funny #633248
coca cola went in to town, and knocked poor Pepsi max down, down the hill they went, then dr pepper
oh they met :P lets just drink 7up xx lol jk xx
Sarcastic #629493
Ah, hell no. You sunk my battleship you bitch
Christmas #661883
Merry Christmas everyone and all the best for 2011!! May this year be better than the last <3 x
Life #659565
Life is hard. It is harder when you are stupid!
Breakup #676248
Though gone physically, somehow it was still there..
Sarcastic humour #673762
The rules.. yeah they don't apply to me
Life phrases #658577
Karma is a BITCH!! That's why treat others the way you want to be treated, it's only right!
Life #638346
From every 6 people facing a heart attack 5 people suffer it,does that mean one enjoys it?
Bitchy #630324
Any bitch before me was a mistake, any bitch after me is a downgrade
Life #681447
When you looked into my eyes, You took my heart and touched my soul. Now i will never be the same.
Best friends #662622
my friends are the best, always making me laugh when I'm sad & never failing to be there for me when I
need them, love u guys u know who u r, & i love you all x
Attitude #674396
There is a choice you have to make in everything you do. So, keep in mind that in the end, the choice
you make, makes you. ~ j.Maxwell
Questions #666489
Post answers below.
pissed off #669697
Smile; somehow, somewhere, you're pissing someone off.
Sarcastic #684096
Wow that's a load off my mind..
Annoyed #646391
i may seem sweet,innocent and harmless,but the moment you fuck up and piss me off NO ONE will be
happy,so don't open that door
God #666552
prays today that God shall guide me once again and carry me through knowing that God is still in charge
of it. Amen.
Love #646026
I love you for what you are and for who you are making me, I love you for your thoughts, your words,
your songs, your kisses I love you baby and I'll never stop
Inspirational #677883
Until you realize you are the creator of your own misery you will never be truly happy
Heartbreak #686357
You never realize how much you like someone until you watch them like someone else.
Weird #653225
In life I am the Fruit Loop in the bowl of Cheerios, but at least I am interesting!
Sarcastic #666169
People who bite the hand that feeds them usually lick the boot that kicks them.
Smile #672061
Surround yourself with the ones who matter most and care for you and you'll always have a smile ;)
Funny #674193
Then:Lizzie M.
Bitch #670098
So, you think I'm a BITCH?? Of course I am!! I'm a Beautiful, Intelligent, Trustworthy, Charismatic,
Heroine! :)
Jokes #659218
let me tell you some thing bout me if you hate Me i hate you if you talk bout Me i talk bout you if you
understand me you would not be read-in this.
Bitchy truth #661524
may make mistakes, is far from perfect. But it is my life. If I don't like it, it ain't happening. You must
respect me in order for me to respect you.
Bitchy #637393
Families should always love each other. It is not about what they can do for you or how quick they jump
when told. Love should be unconditional not a reward!
Funny #657145
It's girl's night out! Hand me a cocktail and stand back!
Life phrases #657659
Its not how well you can weather the storm, its how well you can dance in the rain.
Kids #682401
Why do some fathers have kids with women then wen the kids are born they decide.OMG i am not
ready for a family! then just go!? .yea cheers idiot!
Funny #676141
this should be fun, describe me in one word.
Love pain #629116
A thousand tears won't bring you back I know because I've cried. Is wanting to stand out in the rain, so
no one can see me crying trying to wash away the pain.
Bitch #670007
so what if I'm a bitch? a bitch is a dog,and a dog says bark,and barks on a tree,and a tree is apart of
nature,which happens to be so beautiful so thanks <33
Breakup #650316
I've realised something good has came from my ex's; they've taught me that no matter how hard
someone tries to hurt me I will be fine cos I've been hurt so much
Mixed #673535
The only regret I have in life is not knowing what love is !
Dreams #630395
Anything worth having is worth waiting for but how long do you put your dreams on hold before you
hang up?
Trust #671710
Starting a new trend today. Its called "Whats your deal?" If you have an issue with me let me know
about it so it can be resolved. Today is your chance.
Life #659804
life sucks i know right, but it's the only one we have so...don't worry about stupid people who don't
matter
Fun #629068
a SOMEBODY came up to me and threw skittles in my face yelling "taste the rainbow" so I punched them
in the face and said YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!
Relationships #647706
I want a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,who holds your hand around their mates, who stays
awake just to watch you sleep and loves you for who you are.
Love #638144
friends are for life not for 1 day not to be forgotten say this to all Ur friends and if they send it back to
you you are a true friend ;) <3
Attitude #652302
If you have a problem with me go to my website: www.idontcare.com
Mixed #667090
REALLY?! That's all you have to say after I typed all that, is "K"?!
Love #659337
LETTING GO and MOVING ON is painful and sad not only because of losing someone but because we
know someone better will come and it will never be the same.
Christian #639233
God won't take you through something you can't get through.
Love loss #681448
when you loose a loved one you always say i miss you and they will always miss you too but remember
even tho you cant see them there still there saying it back.
Harry potter #625066
"It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be." -Albus Dumbledore
Bitchy #648309
I wish people were like music when you don't want to listen to them you can shut them off.
Breakup #665227
Once upon a time, I was stupid enough to fall in love with you.
Love #662573
My favorite thing about you, is that you make me want to smack you in the face, and 3 seconds later,
I'm kissing you! <3
Bored #653789
is BORED!!! Boredom leads to thinking... Not a good thing for me to do right now.
God #639129
God is here for me time and time again in a way that shows they loves me unconditionally just doesn't
approve of all i say and do
Christmas #682185
Why can't peace, love, and goodwill happen every day instead of just at Christmas :( ?
Bitch #670054
So you were the BITCH that told a BITCH that i was a BITCH well guess what BITCH I'm the cutest BITCH u
ever seen.!
Relationships #662991
My New Years resolution is to have a better relationship with God! I want my life to be filled with the
presence of the lord. Then true happiness will follow!
God #624541
"Build your relationships around God, not God around your relationships." ~ Bro. Stephen Taylor
Wisdom #625046
"Instead of thinking about all that has gone wrong, think about all that has gone right that could have
gone wrong"
Love hurts #671002
Sometimes it's hard to decide. If you would want the present, or the past.
Love pain #647103
I smile to hide the hurt. I laugh to chase away the tears. But if you look into my eyes, you will see all my
pain hidden there.
Boyfriend #680454
When I meet you, I was scared to like you, when I liked you, I was scared to love you, now I love you, I'm
scared to lose you'<3
Crazy #633563
Crazy? I was crazy once...they locked me in a room with no windows. That drove me nuts. Nuts!
Squirrels eat nuts. They drive me crazy. Crazy! I was crazy once..
Break ups #681338
When you find someone you love don't EVER let go because next thing you know they'll be gone :(
Friendship #684462
yes my friends are crazy.do you have problem with that?cause if you do,my fist and your face will get to
know each other very well!
Happy #681665
When your happy laugh
Harry potter #667623
Rule 23 of Hogwarts: Luna Lovegood is not to be nominated for Quidditch commentations.
Love #673817
The simpler you stay, the sexier you look! ;)
Mixed #652903
if you're one of those people who don't have anything nice to say, in-box me, we have A LOT to talk
about
Inspirational #625359
"One love, One heart, One destiny"- Bob Marley
Bitchy #644757
i have been diagnosed with C F C L syndrome. (Could Fucking Care Less)
Lovers #681243
When you and the one you love are together, do you ever just want to grab them, pull them close,
whisper " I love you" in their ears, and then kiss them? <3
Alone #683195
wishes they had someone special in their life who thought they was worth the trouble.
Boys #632288
boys are dicks
Quotes #666273
Pessimist's Quote of the Day: Optimism is like looking for Bigfoot. It's all nice and fun until you realize it
isn't real.
Mixed #676878
Today is going to be a good day!!! Whenever I feel myself thinking negative thoughts.. I'm going to
replace them with positive ones!!
Bitchy #637622
fight with everything you have, just to take that extra step forward, and show them bitches what your
made of!
Sarcastic #683359
women and dating = putting marks in there check box guys and dating we put one mark control freak
Y/N luckily for us there are more single women then men .
Witty #635294
Don't ever regret a mistake, unless you haven't learnt from it.
Boyfriend #634172
Dear Santa, Please bring me a Boyfriend that is not a complete idiot.thanks!
Love #660719
love is like air it can't be explained and it never can truly run out
Life #638198
friends came from sisters. sisters come from the heart so don't for get to tell them that
Drama #665270
One day I hope you realise how much I've really done for you and how much you have taken me for
granted. But I won't be there when you do.
Love pain #642716
i am exhausted, but I'm up for the fight. I'm broken, but I'm determined to make things right. i am lost,
but God is my light.
Coffee #633282
coffee, COFFEE, coffee, coffee, coffee, COFFEE, coffee, coffee, COFFEE, COFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Give
me!!
Depression #657617
its just one of those days...where everything went from great to fine to ok to ahhhh!( pretty much a
normal day)
Bitchy #635126
Don't act like you know me cause bitch you ain't got the slightest clue about me
Bitchy #642806
I am more than just an option, I am the preferred choice
Philosophy #628941
A picture is a memory you hold in your hand, a memory is a picture you hold in your heart
Harry potter #624828
"How many of you out there see a single shoe on the side of the road and think 'Port-key' "
Boys #657160
It's hard loving someone and never being loved back but, the hardest of all is loving someone and never
finding the courage to tell them how you really feel! <3
Angry #628519
a friend says don't worry, forget it move on ,a real friend says here is a beer grab your bat , we're going
to beat that sorry son of bitches ass
Humor #627814
98% of girls would panic if Justin B was on a 10 story building about to jump off...I'd be part of that 2%
that would be eating popcorn and yelling, JUMP!!!
Funny #687951
~Step into my awesomeness...Can you handle it? Yes? Well i don't think you can? ~
Annoyed #682198
why can't you just be friends with the opposite sex without people thinking you're dating or you like
each other?!
Facebook addiction #658226
Just like "LIKE" button, sometimes i wish this Facebook has "W T F" and "Ass hole" button.. just to tell
how much your status "SUCKS" L O L
Bitchy #682259
Why do all our problems start with men???
Heartbreak #635234
Don't come back...I wont be there,Don't smile...I wont smile back,don't text...I wont reply,don't talk to
me...don't waste your breath.Just walk away.
Breakup #641831
Hm...Let me think...You really want me crawling back to you so you can break my heart AGAIN? That is
NOT gonna happen sweet-heart!
Blonde #642359
How to confuse a Blondie...bring their into a circular room and tell their to find a corner
Advice #675283
Thinking of putting a sign up outside the house. Allergy notice; This property may contain nuts
Bored #655088
is on a spinny chair... now you see me... now you don't... now you see me... now you don't...
Blonde #664248
Nothing is happening . I have stared at this orange carton for 1 hour and a half cause it says
'concentrate'
Friendship #670432
Some people say they're pretty and they use u. Like this if someone has done that to u a lot. I can surely
name about 15 names right now. :| It's annoying. :|
Funny #659265
Let's play a game! It's called "hurt my friends and see how long before I kill you." The one that lasts the
longest MIGHT get a coffin for their grave!
Christmas #632359
BREAKING NEWS!!! BREAKING NEWS!!! This just in... Santa has been shot down by Sarah Palin while
flying over Alaska...
Witty #645471
I like being lost. It's the only time I don't have to find anything but myself. Oh, and 5th street :(
Boyfriend #647810
i want to live my life to the fullest and love with no regrets! I want to dance in the streets and kiss in the
rain, to be happy and always have you by my side!
Breakup #687188
your a poser, a liar and a fake. but i can honestly say you were my favorite mistake :)
Bitchy #675503
thinks its ironic when i click on a certain persons profile and it asks me if i would like to poke
them,question is who hasn't poked their dirty whore...
Friendship #679148
we will never die alone juggalo's will carry on swing our hatchets if we must each and everyone of us
Funny #642428
Humpty dumpty sat on a rock, little bo peep was sucking is cock. As soon as h.e came sh.e stared to
weep,sh.e knew by the taste h.e'd been fucking er sheep
Heartbreak #681624
When you're unsure about making a difficult decision, something occurs that open your eyes& you
realize the decision you need to make isn't difficult after all!
Breakup #634054
Dear Monday, I think it's time for me to start seeing other days.. I am looking for more a Friday kinda
day..
Love hurts #665421
One of the hardest, most painful, soul-wrecking things you can do, is watch the one you love loving
someone else.
Love #681216
when we kiss, i want you to feel in my lips, all the things they could never say.
Work #628405
a co-worker asked me "Why so quiet, Man?" to which I replied "Well, if I say it out loud, it's
premeditated."
Funny #681846
while every ones out being stupid and not thinking. I'm here about to watch them fail at something they
wish they were good at :D
Love loss #635899
Don't you just wish you could go back in time and change one thing because if it didn't happen in the
first place maybe things would be different!
Annoyed #667976
says "It takes 2 people to build up a relationship but it only take 1 nosy bitch to destroy it".
Mixed #667415
Respect the ones you care about, take care of the ones you love, and love all who are close to you,
because once they're, you may never get them back.
Lovers #658651
Karte h hum bhi aapse utna hi pyar, jitna tum bhi aaj tak humse kar na sake.. <3
Blonde #654862
is not a dumb blond. However I embrace the stereotype, I can get away with soooooooo much more :)
Missing you #632747
can not hear you,can not c you + i can not touch u, but i feel u round me always, i know you are there,
deep inside hidden in my heart , this is where u r
Blonde #632397
Brunette: Christmas Falls on Friday this year! Blond:oh that's great i just hope it doesn't fall on Friday the
13th.
Love #676639
To let a kiss fool you is worse.
Recently added #636378
even though I didn't exploit your secrets. And all mines is out in the open. Just remember who shows to
be the true friend in the end.
Funny #655081
is old enough to know better but still wants to do something stupid once a blue moon.
Funny #672555
That bitch so skinny their nipples touch.

Love #676639
To let a kiss fool you is worse.
Recently added #636378
even though I didn't exploit your secrets. And all mines is out in the open. Just remember who shows to
be the true friend in the end.
Funny #655081
is old enough to know better but still wants to do something stupid once a blue moon.
Funny #672555
That bitch so skinny their nipples touch.
Bitchy #653077
ii don't really wanna straight out call you a whore ;; but,you do take more Loads than a washing
machine,yo! =]
Mixed #634610
Distress signal: S.O.S-- sober on Saturday
Boys #646147
i love you. you know me. we're friends. best friends. we know each others secrets. you make me laugh, i
make you smile. we're both single. ASK ME OUT! please?
Bitchy #657625
Its my birthday and I can pout, be happy, be sad, bitch, or do whatever I want to do!
Love #681167
When u love someone so much u would do anything for them, but they turn there back on u and act like
u never meant anything at all to them, what do u do?
Mixed #627259
..to the batmobile! :)
Jokes #682361
Why do people hate Justin Bieber, if they hasn't done anything to you.?
Monday #630107
and just like that, it's Monday again!
Friendship hurt #685503
You hurt their when they was protecting you from the cheating bastard you call your boyfriend think
back to what you did and ask yourself if you should say sorry.
Sex #670670
Someone told me to go f**k myself. I found out I'm a horrible lay.
Boys #682741
Why is it when i move on you have to come along and pull me in again?
Bitchy #640437
has just seen your new girlfriend and by god, they's a looker. Where did you find their, animal rescue..
Women #666873
Random Fact: Mascara contains guano (bat shit) Think about that the next time you are getting done up
to go out!
Funny #662319
Music is the feeling you can't express simply through talking; the stories of living, loving, and laughing
through the melodies of life ;)
Angry #629351
Actions speak louder than words. Words can make you feel important but actions can make you realize
how unimportant you really are.
Funny #660422
looks at people's status' and thinks, "Wow! I wish MY life was that perfect!"
Coffee #651525
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer why aren't there Starbucks trucks in the winter???
Life #673890
The thing that makes rock bottom suck even more then just being there is looking up and seeing all the
assholes of the people who put you there!
Stupid people #630416
Apparently my idiot repellent is NOT working today!
Love hurts #686482
You said you wouldn't be like the others, so why are you doing the same stuff to me they did?
Christmas #667341
Remember, if Christmas isn't found in your heart, you won't find it under a tree.
Love loss #682444
why do we travel down a road we have been down before, knowing all along it's just the same old road
and nothing has changed?
Alone #671151
sometimes the people you love with all your heart, and mean everything to you, Don't feel the same...
but when you realize it, you'll never feel more alone.
Strength #639594
Grab some wood and a hammer with a few nails,then...build a fucking bridge and get over it!
Best friends #636513
Ever notice, how everything is funnier when you're with your best friend?
Politics #625239
"Man is not free unless government is limited. As government expands, liberty contracts." ~ Ronald
Reagan
Best friends #629136
A True friend doesn't have to be sum 1 who u talk 2 and see everyday its someone who would drop
everything wen u ave a problem and wont go until its sorted
Sadness #647230
I tell myself that I'm OK, I tell the others, "I'm fine." I tell myself I'll make it through the day. Is that the
truth; am I lying?
Mixed #639852
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha wait what was i laughin at
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha XD
Advice #636710
Every thing happens for a reason. life puts you down, only so you can get back up for the better things.
Live life, forgive and forget. Let go of the past.
Family #667265
Remember that the ones that are the quickest at pointing out your flaws are only trying to hide their
own
Wisdom #640202
Has come to realise what people think of me is not important, what is important is what I think of
myself, For you to put me down means your jealous of me.
Funny #664273
noticed: A key ring is a handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.
Life lesson #657247
it's not always what you say, but how you say it.
Love #646691
I no I've moved on from you, but every time we speak i feel like i want you back, and the way your
cheeky and flirt...it reminds me of how good we were <3
Mixed #661454
Marry me till the end of the month. Post below I DO or I DON'T. And see how many husbands or wife's
you get.
People #665930
People come into you life for a reason. If they stay in it that means they are TRUE friends.
Friendship #635998
DRAMA:
Bitch #628705
A great poet once said "SCREW YOU BITCHAAASSS!"
Advice #629572
all couples have ups and downs but how you handle it is what defines true love. arguments are simply a
test to see if a couple is strong enough to overcome it.
God #668012
says "there are times in our lives when God asks for nothing more then silence, patience and tears."
Coffee #649132
I'm going to bed.. you all can rest easy for a while... my evil plot for world dominance will resume upon
the consumption of my morning's first cup of coffee ..
Attitude #634978
doesn't have a foul mouth, they just likes to say FUCK a lot!
Funny #679479
What ?! You wake up this morning and discover that you can still screw a cheerio without breaking it ?!
Jacob black #654298
is gonna ask a random question..are you Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Rednecks #663779
No baby,we cantaloupe, mama wants to see a wedding!
Advice #643038
I am true to myself & my beliefs I am glad I was taught to accept me for me to live life to the fullest &
not change myself to make others happy.
Funny #639600
Grand children are your parents reward for not strangling you
Truth #677261
true love=pain,sadness,depression, and a whole load of bullshit
Wisdom #642649
I am a woman on a mission, Nothing can stop me, I am stronger than ever, I wanna see this through,
Whatever it takes I will do what I gotta do.
Boyfriend #676254
Though they may drive me crazy, push my buttons, and pick on me about the stupid things I do, that's
what makes me love them more and more everyday! <3
Life #624595
"Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not gaze about, for I am your God. I will fortify you. I will really
help you." Isaiah. 41:10,13
Friendship #649859
I'm so lucky to have you in my life and I wouldn't trade anything for the great memories we shared
thanks for everything I will always cherish the time we had:)
Breakup #672504
THANK YOU to all the guys in my life, for letting me go and making me a stronger person, so that when
the right guy does come along it will be awesome!
Monday #641380
Hello, Monday. May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don't you have a hobby?
Fun #679144
we will exp. 4 unusual dates 1/1/11 1/11/11 11/1/11 11/11/11 now go figure this out take the last 2 #s
of the yr u were born+the age u will b dis yr it will=111
Parenting #681861
While we teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life's all about.
Justin bieber #627817
98% of the world would cry if Justin Bieber jumped off the Empire State Building,I'd be the 2% at the
bottom yelling:JUMP BITCH!!!
Bitchy #637047
Everything is Bitch-ier with a Smiley Face :) See?
Funny #683411
wonder if drinking while on Facebook classify as drinking with friends???
Heartbreak #656232
is wondering if it's worth thinking of someone in a specific way, they might not think of u the same way,
so why should u? even though u still do <3
Mixed #678888
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not
abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
Boyfriend #645311
i know I'm yelling and mad at you on the outside but I'm crying and dying on the inside!!
Funny #667830
say i if u hate Justin beaver!
Hope #633852
Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11, and birthday candles,
Thoughts #650483
If a thoughtless thought is thought, would a thought thoughtlessly think of thoughtless thoughts
whenever thinking thoughts are thoughtless? What a thought, eh?
Mixed #627533
2+2= Fish
Heart broken #646803
I put on my fake smile and tell everyone that everything is okay. but when I'm alone i cry my eyes our
and tell myself i cant do this anymore.
Love #650245
I've got friends that have been here forever, while others chose to leave. I am eternally grateful for
those who stayed...I love you guys forever!
Breakup #647229
i tell myself I'm over u, i tell my friends i hate u now, i tell u i don't care... but if that's true why does my
heart race every time i hear Ur name?
Alone #650162
I've been beaten down til I can longer stand, kicked down so I can't get to my knees, and as I lay there,
the only thing I can think is, where did I go wrong?
Bitchy #684872
You call me a bitch and my first thought is.. your only realizing now? well done. :)
Bitchy #631941
Bitches r fucking hilarious!R u serious! They tasting my juices then trying' to kiss my lips.L.M.A.O I am
not stupid I'M WONDERFUL .HA HA HA HA!
Funny #630655
at 1 point in Ur life parents will tell u not to let people judge u or b mean 2 u jst cuz Ur different. think
about tht. thts exactly wht teachers r payd 2 do.
Lonely #660634
Love is a fragile little bird, it needs care and nurturing. You cant clip it's wings it will become resentful,
you cant let it fly free it may not come home.
Love #631583
believes you should sing at the top of your lungs, dance like no one is watching and love like you've
never been hurt
Life #659024
Ladies don't get tattoos ...but, hot chicks do
Crazy insane #626762
... if i told you what was on my mind you would put me in a straight jacket...
Alone #642138
how come im always there for you, and you say ull be there for me, but when i need you to be there you
are not there at all, :(
Bitchy #641026
have you ever felt like throwing someone in horse shit and them cleaning them off with a fire truck hose
Advice #659695
Life is to short to hide feelings. So don't be afraid to tell people how you feel. You never know if they
have the same feelings.
Relationships #660563
Love and trust are like exquisite crystal, beautiful and sparkling, but also fragile. If you break it, the glue
lines will always show.
Funny #648758
i'll only share my animal crackers with you if you make the noise that the animal makes before you eat
the cracker.
Life #672098
Swollen finger, sore pinky toe and a split lip. LAST NIGHT WAS AWESOME!
Quotes #624550
"Care about what other people think and you'll be their prisoner for life." James Frey -A million little
pieces
Bedtime #634213
Dear sleep, I know we had problems when I was younger, but now I love you.
Love #633001
Changes must be done gradually ... because abrupt changes are very risky.
Depression #625167
"Life is not about how many times you fall down. It's about how many times you get back up." - Jaime
Escalante
Love #629748
All through life's journey, the Heart always finds its way
Bitchy #643992
I don't see you as bitch, i see you as a garbage.
Friendship #677761
u00e2ufffdufffd140496- be good friends with you for a while now hope will be good Friends a lot
Bored #655482
is so bored that i am just looking,putting funny statuses in my faves, and posting it on your walls so i can
entertain myself
Tired #652382
if you keep swimming you get tired, if you stop you drown, if you train you win
Life #674852
They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch!
God #684794
you are who you are. don't try and change yourself, because God made you you for a reason, and if God
wanted you to change, you would know.
Love #646099
I love you when you're an Ass, so you can love me when I'm a Bitch!
Faith #658065
Just because you don't see anything happening, doesn't mean that God isn't working. The moment we
pray, God sets the miracle into motion.
pissed off #677876
Until you have lived my life, and been through what i have, don't talk about it like you have, because
your version sucks
Sarcastic #634273
Death is gods way of saying your fired! But suicide is my way of saying you cant fire me... i QUIT!!
Lyrics #682100
Whose worst fear is a child with dyed hair and who likes earrings
Lonely #654816
is missing someone a ton and doesn't know how to make it stop or get over it! :(
Attitude #683715
wonders why people keep doing the same old things, but yet expect a different outcome... Duh!
Bored #655625
is suffering from a severe case of boredom, and is now contemplating some kind of mischief. If you wish
to join in the shenanigans, please press 1.
Religion #660483
Lord, grant me an understanding heart and the patience and strength to make the right decisions and
carry through with them.
Love #646895
I reckon I found my redneck romeo <3
Sex #668792
says....... Its not the size of the eyes that satisfies.... Its the throb of the knob that does the job ;0)
Love pain #672408
Tell me.. please tell me. Do I have a sign on my forehead that just screams "Use me for free, I don't have
a great self esteem and my heart is too big"
Best friends #631135
Be-sties never leave Ur side even if Ur miles apart they know how weird you are but still luv u the first
10 people to comment are my True friends <3
Funny #651470
If the birds that fly over the sea are called Seagulls, then are the birds that fly over the bay called baguls?
Funny #662093
Mom: *Shakes head*
Mixed #676769
to those who think Justin Bieber is gay well of course they is gay it means = G.gorgeous A.amazing
Y.yummy duh.
Faith #667351
remember, the God in the valley is the same God on the mountain.
Sarcastic #650838
If I have to bend backwards any further for anyone, I will be kissing my own ass! - B. Morse-
Friendship #638158
Friends are like emotions - they may not be obvious, and you may not see them, but they`ll always be
there<3
Christmas #684191
X-mas time is to be happy & jolly. But for some, it's the hardest days! They're filled with pain and grief,
so remember to reach out & touch someone's heart!!
Funny #671650
spider spider on the wall ...u think ur smart u know fcuk all, ur on a wall thats just been plasterd now ur
stuck u silly bastard..!!
pissed off #666434
Please, piss me off. I enjoy finding new and interesting places to hide the bodies!!
Jokes #632204
boy: guess what girl: what boy: Guess what girl: what boy:
Bedtime #654214
is going to go find the "Like" button on my pillow. I am not giving up until I find it.
Sex #668559
says Yeah I have a filthy mind, but it's all good coz I've got a filthy mouth to match!!!!
Bitchy #644162
I feel like going all Bipolar on someones stupid ass...
Kids #664715
Oh, it's just my kids! ;-p
Bedtime #655032
is off to have a threesome. Me, my blanket and my pillow..LOL..Good night
People #665940
People don't remember a thousand good things you did to them but they're surely gonna remember
one bad thing u did them!
Witty #634819
Do you know what they say when you assume? It makes an ASS out of U and ME.
Boyfriend #640610
has the best relationship ever with the best boyfriend ever :)
Humor #683383
Women have one common problem...Men! Example: MEN-opause, MEN-stration, MEN-tal illness...see
all of our problems start with MEN!
Angry #647086
I slammed the door in your face because I figured it was better than slamming your face into the door!
Relationships #625409
"Relationships are difficult, time-consuming, baffling, and sometimes heartbreaking. They're also what
make life worth living." - Martha Beck
Life lessons #668309
says Life is like a roller coaster .. you have your highs and your lows and you never no what is round the
corner.. you have just gotta see where it takes you
Breakup #687116
You've got to believe you are worth more than being
Hurt #644889
I have no secrets from you..Why do you have a million secrets from me.
Truth #668329
Says Men don't change,They just rearrange their Bullshit to Distract you!!
Rednecks #639294
Going to a rodeo is like watching jackass at the movies 4 rednecks.
Relationships #660800
Love is when don't want to go to sleep no matter how tired you are because reality is better than a
dream.
Funny #643901
I don't look at the glass being half empty or half full but, who drank the other half of my glass?
Coffee #633088
chilly morning - CHECK! cozy sweatshirt - CHECK! warm cup of coffee? CHECK!
Life #680272
When did she get to be a beauty? When did he grow to be strong? Sunrise. Sunset.
Bitchy #670050
so you think life's a bitch - well you clearly haven't met me then!
Bitchy #648884
I'm a Pea one day someone is going to pop me and all the stuff will come out
Life lesson #637032
Everything happens for a reason. Whether we like it or not. The bad things only happen to make us
appreciate the good things.
Heartbreak #637367
Fake smile on the outside, real pain on the inside.
Lies #658641
Karma, every secret has a price...
Men #661826
men should b tagged like cattle, so you know the good from the bad, which ones are taken & by whom,
& whether they're safe to be around or just full of bull!
Advice #637151
f*ck your distinguished, flushed out life, go get laid!
Relationships #679424
wen u want to ask someone out after u dumped them cause Ur mates said u should
Advice #675943
thinks you should never change what u feel based on what others think, never change who u are to fit
others ideals. Always be open, honest and faithful in love.
Bitchy #652299
If you have a problem with me come to me about it. Don't bitch to my boyfriend about it you fucking
dumb ass blond.
Boys #681745
Whenever i think about you, i can't help but smile. And when i smile, people think I've done something
wrong! What a life!
Bitchy #684407
Yes BITCH it was all because of you GOT IT
Happiness #668272
says in age u find wisdom, in wisdom u find truth,in truth u find trust,in trust u find love, in love u find
happiness....who says being older sucks!
Women #629222
A woman should always wear pants at work. The heath and safety law states that manholes should be
covered at all times :)
Bitchy #644003
I don't sympathize cause you a simple bitch
Witty #634747
Do us all a favor and get hit by a bus(: Thanks
Boyfriend #684742
You are not only my boyfriend, you are my lover, my best-friend, my everything <3 ! I love you babe <3 !
Tired #683322
woke up sleepy this morning. Grumpy and dopey too..and even sneezy. Happy left without me. Doc said
they couldn't help with sneezy. Bashful just rolled over. Sigh
Christmas #629725
All the presents are open, all the mouths have been fed, today is my day to stay in the bed!
Lonely #680501
When I say "I'm fine." What I really mean is that I'm Fucked up Insecure Neurotic and Emotional. Just
fine. Thanks.
Friendship #644747
I have amazing friends!!
Mean #640407
has just flicked on the bitch switch.
Dreams #624469
"All our dreams can come true-if we have the courage to pursue them." -Walt Disney-
Love pain #656028
is try in to decide if I'm going to tear my walls down or just get a hammer and nails and build them up
higher.
Boys #632216
Boy: i got u a cupcake. Girl: I LUV cupcakes. Boy: look a pony! Girl: I LUV ponies. Boy: i luv u. Girl: i luv u.
Boy: NO U DNT BITCH, YOU LUV CUPCAKES N PONIES!
Alone #654639
Is it worse 2 be alone? Or 2 lie next 2 someone and be lonely?
School #672322
Teachers say "You're here to learn." You reply "No, I'm here because it's the law."
Love #648872
I'm a lover, hater, fighter, mother, sister, aunt, daughter, nurse, teacher, listener, counciler, and most of
all I'm me!
Sarcastic humour #661968
Miracles happen every day. I haven't choked the stupid out of someone today. See? Miracle.
Bitchy #643746
i don't give a rat's ass how small i am piss me off and i will punch you in the balls so hard your great
great great great great grandchildren will feel it
Life #659866
Life's a bitch, then you marry one. Sometimes you're lucky and get divorced. There is always hope.
pissed off #646390
I may seem nice, and most the time I am, but MESS with one of my friends and I'll make you too scared
to tell anyone why you're black, blue, and bleeding!
Hate #644105
i dont know what have i become
Bitchy #667571
Roses are red, Violets are blue, you're a stupid lying bitch so..who needs you?
Mixed #640525
has pie and wants to share with your face!!
Sarcastic humour #677977
Using a cattle prod or shock collar on a couple of people is looking so good right now..
Mixed #681392
when you hit 31 years old 8 months you will turn 1 billion seconds old :) so turning 30 isn't so bad
turning 31 is :)
Boys #684606
You know I like You, Or at least Me and My Bestys do xoxo !! :D <3
Facebook #665890
People are willing to spend hrs on FB playing Farm ville... But ask them to join you plant real trees and
suddenly everyone become busy!!!
Life #633590
CUM WITH ME! to the magical land of my head!.wait.. that's a REALLY bad idea, if u cud see what's in
my head right now, you would be running to Canada by now
Friendship #637674
Finding true friends who stays around forever is compared 2 a train journey; u come across many
people, enjoy the moment 2 its best & bid goodbye 2 some. ~mball
Sarcastic #642745
i am going to shove your hearing aid so far up your arse that you will be able to hear your intestines
making your shit!
Bitchy #670004
so what I'm a bitch..its better than being a slut
Boys #637350
Faith, Trust, and Truth.That's all I need from you.I need to be able to have Faith in you,I need to know
that I can Trust you,and I need to know the Truth!
Attitude #627976
<---- Yup, that's my name!
Pissed off #643739
I don't give a flying fuck if your offended!
God #630537
as I look back over all the things that have experienced, I have to smile and think, " I am convinced God
has a sense of humor".
Crazy #657725
Its that awkward moment when your in a store with your friend talking to them and then they walk
away and you still talking and everybody thinks your a nut case
Dreams #677018
Tomorrow is a new beginning. A day to make new friends, new choices and a new ways to achieve old
dreams. Live, laugh and love.
Funny #654942
Is NOT the girl your momma warned you about. Your momma didn't have a big enough imagination to
think of me!
Kids parents #645263
I know all parents think their child is the cutest thing in the world but seriously, mine is! :)
Funny #624400
" Note to self " - Stay Single ! =)
pissed off #637145
f**k O*f!!
Boys #639583
Gotta love those country boys:)
Rude #666467
Police woman pulls over a Drunk driver and gets them out of the car. " Anything you do say will be held
against you. Man says " BREASTS."
Mixed #683514
wonders if dogs have their own different dialects.Like to German shepherds bark in German? And do
chiwawa's bark in Spanish? And can other dogs understand?
Friendship #682693
Why is it that when something bad happens everyone looks at me??
Fun #662149
MONDAY! Here you are again, showing up just like the crazy great aunt everyone tries to avoid!
Humor #657726
Its that awkward moment when your in a store with your friend talking, talking to them and then they
walk away and everybody thinks your a nut case.
Funny #633789
Dear Bed I apologize for the late notice but I would like to reserve a spot on the left side with my usual
pillow and blanket. Thank you see you in 20 minutes
Break ups #653269
In my mind, I can't live without you, but in my heart I know I need to just let it go even though it will be
hard for a while.
Heartbreak #644840
I have learned that Good Byes always Hurt, Pictures don't replace the Memories, People don't replace
Friends, and Words can't replace Feelings</3
Mixed #684201
Y cant people just stop asking stupid questions and hav a laugh n a good time ;)
Best friends #638235
friends no when ur up to no good friends tell u its wrong,best friends smack u upside the head b4 u do it
but than ask ok so what are we doing this time?! :D
Breakup #670611
someday you'll realize how much you cared about their and how amazing they really was.. and when
that day comes, they'll be walking with the guy who already knew.
Angry #657464
It's your lucky day...9 out of 10 voices in my head agree that smacking your head is a bad idea due to the
resulting jail time. Better run before we vote again.
Stress #627073
...Sometimes God will remove something good from your life to make room for something better. And
sometimes they'll take away better to give you their best!
Coffee #658266
Just pour the coffee and back away slowly.
Bitchy #655439
is sitting here looking at the marriage certificate. Where the fuck is the expiry date?
Friendship #628795
A life of richness is not a number on your bank statement, it is a decision you make in every moment...
by ( Perinisese Sera Valo Selesele)
Best friends #628582
A friend would help you up when you fall, but a best friend would laugh their butt off when you fall
because they were the one that tripped you!
Sarcastic #625421
"s thought for the day..that thing-ima-jigger on the left side of your steering wheel really does work.. try
it some time !! Down to go Left, and up to go Right
Angry #636105
dumb + dumb = stupid (x )by retarded = YOUR FACE... no need to check the answer it's been classified ...
good working out by the way , that's a key question
Humor #667379
remembers long before car seats, when we used to fight over who got to sit on the hump (arm rest) in
the back seat! MAN THAT WAS FUN!
Love #658964
knows that you're definitely in love when you're searching love quotes on the Internet <3
Blonde #655986
is tired of the whole "stupid/slutty blond" crap, i am not a slut and i am not stupid, I am sure plenty of
people can vouch for what i say.
Love #646101
I love you with all my boobs, I would say with all my heart but my boobs are bigger!
Life #641991
Hope is the ability to hear the music of the future.
Love #672735
The best of a woman is not in what they wears, the size of their body, or the way they does their hair.
But its in their heart..that is the doorway 2 their soul!
pissed off #652711
if you try to fuck with me i will fucking fight back bitch!!!
Drama #656767
It might be entertaining to you to spread lies about people and try to make them look bad but
personally you are the one who looks the worst... whats the point?
Funny #680302
When Facebook, My Space and Twitter merge into one super social networking company what will it be
called?
Love #641257
He spent his whole life searching and she was always right beside him, if only he would have noticed.
Annoyed #633776
dealing w/idiots & being blamed for something that CLEARLY WASN'T my fault. Don't ask me anything
today because my answer will always be "FISHING".
Humor #661763
meet later on they on they got married in a horse and carriage
Heartache #676468
Tired of pouring my heart out to you and it just isn't enough.
Bitch #666219
People will love you. People will hate you. Others will secretly wish to be you.
Sleepy #655647
is takin their happy ass ta bed :-) gn fb <3
Jokes #631995
Blond girl walks into PC world and says to the assistant i need curtains 4 my computer he says y? u don't
need curtains 4 a computer she sed DUH it has windows
Sarcastic #681267
When you ASSUME something, you just make an ASS out of U and ME (ASS-U-ME) !!
Sarcastic #653080
IIA=Idiots in action.
Life lessons #624674
"Everybody deserves to be forgiven. Do not see somebody for what they do, but for who they are."
Love #683220
wishes you new how much they loves you and just wants you back because they cant stop thinking
about you :(
Bitchy #683133
wishes that ALL of the ignorant, dumb fucks would fall off the face of the earth and NEVER return again!
That'd be HEAVEN!! <3
Animals #636524
ever play that game wild ones i hate it i mean animal abuse. For real I'm going to go nuke a fuckin bunny
isn't that perfect and then they turns into dust. scary
Animals #682189
Why can't STUPID people be "euthanized" instead of innocent animals? Stupid people are the reason
why so many innocent animals die every year!
Breakup #670914
sometimes i wish we never dated because i hate falling asleep then waking up in the middle of the night
crying... because of how much i miss you .. </3
Men #661859
Men: can't live with'em... pass the beer nuts...
Best friends #638211
Friends comfort you when someone upsets you, Best friends are ready to kill the person that upset you
xxx
Bitchy #652133
if you don't like what i do DON'T do it. if you don't like how i look DON'T look at me and if you don't like
who i am then fuck off
Funny #676301
Thought they shit themself but they only farted!!
Crazy #637646
Finally got the voices in my head to stop talking so loud. Just wrap your head in duct tape and they
sound muffled! Ha ha I win!
Angry #648293
I wish instead of always aiming to please, I could just start shooting to kill. I think it would make me feel
better!
Bitch #664349
now the other one says : I know you are but what am I ?
Life #670525
some take criticism well, some can't deal with it at all, some know how to walk away, some sit back and
wait, and wait and wait, and that's O K, karma
Mixed #653481
is a bitch fuck yea but remeb
Truth #685467
You have to have trust in yourself before you can trust others.
Sarcastic #674734
There's nothing better then having Ur boyfriend cheat on you and then jump out a window </3
Angry #631537
believes that i am who i am, and if you don't like it then, two words for you: FUCK OFF!
Love #630540
as i sit here 2day a Lil far away from you and remember dose memories few i have a smile on my face &
a spark in my eyes & tears of memories which makes me cry
Attitude #643099
I am who i want to be i ain't gonna change for anybody I'm crazy insane and one of a kind
pissed off #650267
I've helped you out so many times,
Love hurts #628064
<3 To an outsider, COCKINESS and COMPLACENCY are their best friends <3
Boyfriend #646334
I may not be perfect. I will cry and get hurt. but your always there and u say i am beautiful.. n Ur not
perfect. but to me.. u are:) i love you baby:)
Sex #629257
A. They have cotton balls
Best friends #629913
Always there 4 you
Bitchy #675489
thinks its funny how some girls are such pathetic ugly sluts that they have to go with other peoples
boyfriends to try make them feel good, USED YA SLAG!
Fun #655793
is thinking how not to think..
Hurt #673166
The hardest part is saying goodbye, but in order to get to the rainbow you must go through the storm.
Funny #656655
it is better to be a smart ass than a dumb ass Very funny lol
Break ups #645125
I just know how to hide it...
Forgiveness #681214
When we forgive, we keep our Minds full of Peace, our Hearts full of Love and our Souls full of Joy.
Sex #651342
If some one says " YOU SUCK!" turn to them & say " & swallow" they will either never say that to you
again or try & test that theory ;)
Bitch #677733
u tlk shit n say it w/out a trace Cmon b a big girl n say it 2 my face If u cant walk the walk then dont tlk
the tlk cus fake ass bitches get outlined in chalk
Parenting #664772
OK I'm sick of dead beat dads who don't pay there child support i mean come on "GROW UP" you
helped make the kid TOO NOW BE A MAN AND SUPPORT YOUR CHILD!!
Love #653111
ILoveYou forever Baby<3 you're my one and only, there for me, even if we don't talk we you still know
what I need(: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Love #661662
me and you used to be like romeo and Juliet, then the x box 360 came out!
Angry #640856
hates liars, cheater, fakers, and two-faced people!
Bitchy #650590
if dynamite can come in small packages... those mother fuckin bitches better watch their back
Sarcastic humour #665495
one up-side I never look like shit how odd
Crazy #633557
crazy? i was crazy once! they locked me in a room! a WHITE room! it was full of penguins! WHITE
penguins! they drove me crazy! crazy? i was crazy once...
Funny #651813
If you a celebrity and have at lease 8 kids from 8 baby mamas then just say Have a baby by me baby be
on welfare, have baby by me baby be on welfare lol
Bitchy #641560
Hey chief Whoopumazz from the tribe called smackahoe charity starts at home.
Happy #665206
once in a while someone comes along and makes you smile and forget the ones who make you frown
Religious #684459
yes Jesus loves me ..awe aw! oh oh oh! yes! yes fuck me fuck me aww awwwaw is your religion screwing
you? watch zeitgeist the movie u tub
Witty #650539
if beauty is skin deep fuck me you inside out
Relationships #675569
thinks people should stop trying to fix things that are not their responsibility - just walk away.
Life #659446
Life is a bitch. If it was a slut, it'd be too easy.
Humor #673515
The only person who likes being lied to is Cinderella when they's sitting on Pinocchio's nose
Bedtime #662445
My brain received another notification.. Bed sends you a message: " I'm waiting!"
Heartbreak #642583
I always worry my brains out over weekends wondering if you started loving some one else
Funny random #678814
Ways to know if you are retarded.
Women #639619
Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events and small minds discuss other people
Strength #642774
I am like a Phoenix, from the ashes of my mistakes. I rise up as bright as the burning sun. I will not fail, I
will not fall, I will not hurt, I will not die.
Mixed #682722
Why is it the people with the most screwed up lives think they are the ones to give advice to others!
Love you #646057
I love you more than all the grains of sand, drops of water, and stars in the sky combined! You are my
everything, and In my heart you'll stay forever! <3
Attitude #660874
love me or hate me either way I'm on your mind and I'm flattered;)
Love #674819
they blowing me kisses, they blowing me kisses
Boyfriend #645739
i love it when you tell me you love me and i know you mean it.
pissed off #650021
I'm the most loyal trustworthy person u will meet unless u piss me off then even the devil is scared of
me lol
Love #682625
Why is it that every time i convince myself I'm over you and don't need you .. you do something totally
adorable and sweet and i fall for you all over again <3
Boys #685947
You know, I'm not always gonna be here...Make up your Mind, your confusing me!
Coffee #667009
realizes that coffee just isn't enough today ... Anyone have jumper cables I can borrow ?
Funny thought #644618
I hate when people point at their wrist and ask for the time. Do I point at my crotch and ask where's the
bathroom?
Funny #673627
The people that like this status are sexy...
Annoyed #673403
The next person to rain on my parade is getting smacked with my umbrella!
Annoyed #655372
is sick of always being the one who has to make the effort, from now on if I can't be met half way then
they can drop away...
Bitchy truth #650526
If at first you don't succeed, reload and take another shot!!
Truth #672907
the day you can walk all over me, is the day I'm dead in my grave.
Annoyed #651704
if u talk about me, u r thinking of me. if u say mean things, u r jealous of me, if u make people choose
between us, you must know I am WAY more awesome than u!
Attitude #683942
would like the attitude adjustment combo, with a side of patience, and a cup of understanding with light
ice.. Super sized please.. To Go
Humor #653462
is "wondering what flavor milkshake ""brings all the boys to the yard"""
Sarcastic #660298
lolfapbft
Angry #630864
babe stop being a fake ass
Bitchy #669936
So sick & tired of biting my tongue 4 people who deserve 2 be told wat the fuck is rly good ! !
Angry #683664
wonders why do people friend request you on Facebook if they don't talk to you or even like you in real
life, is this some kind of popularity contest?
Attitude #670516
Some say they don't like my attitude! Well my response to them is to quit pissing me off!! If only
common sense were contagious instead of stupidity.
Philosophy #684144
Write your sad times in the sand, so the pain will wash away and write your happy times in stone, so the
memories Can last forever
Kids parents #674569
There isn't a better feeling than walking into a room with your hair a mess, pj's on, and mismatched
socks and your child saying "mommy u r so beautiful" <3
Philosophy #629791
Alphabet "o" stands for opportunity which is absent in 'yesterday', available once in 'Today' and thrice in
'Tomorrow'. stay positive.
Bitchy truth #666317
Ping! Ping! Ping! That's the sound of me deflecting all your whining and bitching.
Work #627112
...today, my Indian name is "Runs Naked Through the House"
Bitch #641247
he betta put a leash on his bitch cuz she just a baby bitch in training and will never compare to the bitch
i can be!
Religious #639078
God doesn't make mistakes! People do! God will forgive any mistake that you have made if you just ask.
Funny #655083
is on a mental vacation. I will be back in a week or so.
Kids parents #686186
You mess with my kids you mess with their crazy ass mom..be warned!!
Sarcastic #684295
yea, well that's life bitch slapping people again and seemingly to be enjoying it so much that it just
doesn't want to stop ...
Bitchy #638934
Go ahead -n- talk shit like you know me.. but we all know.. if i had a dick, you'd be the first to blow me!!
Bitchy #664951
okay, if your a bitchy drama queen then back off because I'm sick of all the D-R-A-M-A that you put in
my life!
Bitchy #635786
don't worry I'm not jealous when i see you with another girl because i was taught to give my unwanted
toys to the less fortunate
Love #667558
roses are red, roses are thorny, just thinking of you makes me horny!
Lonely #647119
I smile, I say I am okay, I laugh! But really I am not inside. I have a lot of fun with friends but when I am
alone I feel as if there is no1 there for me!:(
Quotes #653363
in to the sky to win or die
Angry #628825
A lying manipulative 2 faced selfish bitch!
Love #626573
-After you leave they text
Love #665643
Our family is strong and with God's help will never weaken. Never try to break up a family.
Work sarcasm #663309
Needs to keep reminding themself today that murder is punishable by 25 to life... But if i slip up who's
going to come visit me in prison?
Humor #636712
Every things rosy looking through rose tinted wine!!!
Love loss #657083
It's easy to love someone but hard to let someone love you back. That's the challenge of love. Fighting
without knowing how to win :D
Annoyed #642452
Hurt me, fine. Hurt my family, and you had better run like your life depends on it because it probably
does.
Religious #687499
your teachers get you to learn about Jesus, but who gives a flying fuck!
Breakup #670522
Some say your heart talks to you, But can i load a gun and cock it too?
Bitch #633579
Cry me a river and I'll build you a bridge so you can get the fuck over it.
Bedtime #636018
Dream's touch your heart and soul. It is a magical memory that unites fantasy and reality.
Life #629716
All the little things we do every day. The smallest step can bring on a change Oh, that's the power of one
- bomshel
Love #650083
I'm tired of this Back and Forth Crap. Maybe if u just stay Back, we can move Forth ?
Life #660173
Live life to the fullest. Always remember yesterday, live for today, because you never know
Witty #633227
Click "like" if you've ever run across the road to avoid a car, then carried on running to make it look like
you were really running because you are in a hurry.
Encouragement #625892
"You're off to Great Places! Today is YOUR day! Your mountain is waiting, So... get on your way!" ~ Dr.
Seuss
Love #677560
u dnt get it do u? i like u but im too afraid to admit it. it kills me and u dnt kno it. i wish u likd me 2. ur
my secret crush...i wish i culd call u mine! <3!
Love hurts #648358
I wish you could see all the statuses that I've saved, because then maybe you'd realize just how much I
love you, and just how much I want you back.
Missing you #678329
wants to go to sleep with you in their arms and wake up and you still be there...miss you!!
Love you #642648
I am a WOMAN of my word. I mean what I say and say what I mean. I am determined, strong minded,
and stubborn. It takes a real real man to handle me. Thanks Dad!
Jokes #676017
This is a deal for all the Facebook pokers... poke me and I punch you! ;)
Missing you #646501
I miss the way things used to be; When you would say "I love you" and then smile at me like i was the
only thing that ever meant anything to you. I miss that...
Chocolate #634381
Diamonds are not a woman's best friend. Chocolate is!
Breakup #650213
I've decided that I will let go. No matter how hard it is at first, it will only get better.
pissed off #645448
I laugh, while you cry, I smile while you frown, I hold my head up high, when you hang yours low. I stay
away from the drama while you make it, truth hurts huh!
Love #681710
when your thinking about someone you loved and still do. then you realize you will never have them in
you life again... it just hurts.
Bitchy #639059
God created men, God created women, God created you what the fuck was they thinking
People #659248
Let's all go to Wally world and look for some of those "People of Wal-Mart" . A good laugh will be had by
everyone.
Mixed #673212
The hottest love melts the coldest pain.
Sarcastic #686735
you think I'm sarcastic now? you should hear what i don't say
Funny #634601
Discovering my superhero abilities, one injury at a time
Love #659732
Life is what you make it. Live it. Love it. Create it. Believe it. Explore it. Your greatest power is in the life
you lead. Be bold and revel in the adventure!
Bitchy #652023
If you could read my thoughts, you would back away slowly with no sudden movements
Friendship #670508
Some say love and friends don't mix, but i can't help the way I feel
Christmas #676508
To all my family and friends: May your Christmas be filled with moments of fun and laughter with the
ones you love, and may you have a safe and happy holiday.
Funny #672686
The awkward moment when you see someone really hot and then realise it's your own reflection...
Heart broken #640939
hating every minute in my life right now for absolutely no reason at all. if you ask me whats wrong you
won't get more than a 'leave me alone' or 'i don't know'
Religion #641273
Heal my heart and make it clean,Open up my eyes to the things unseen.
Bitch #643010
i am the best bitch do in it
Crush #638602
Geeky guys<3 ;-)x
Humor #644086
I don't want to, but i need to, i really don't wanna go to work, but i have to...right? Please say no, p-p-
please say no.
Annoyed #675601
thinks some people really need to grow up & stop with the attention seeking statuses! reality check:
THERE ARE PEOPLE WORSE OFF THAN YOU! don't like it? BITE ME
Sleep #670876
Sometimes I wake up late not because I still want to sleep but because I still want to dream.
Funny #676972
today's news ARMY TURNS BAD you know what fuck this run NO WAIT MY CUPCAKE!!
Attitude #654737
is looking 4 the "Bite Me !!" button...
Twilight #637993
Forget the cold sparkly vampire with a shiny Volvo!!! I want the hot shirtless werewolf with a
motorcycle!! <3 Jacob Black/Taylor Lautner!!
Sarcastic #627422
12 freak
Truth #664576
Oh I'm sorry. Did I somehow give you the impression that I would keep my opinions to myself just
because you don't agree with them? My bad!
Life #669141
Sex , drugs , rock and roll , speed , weed , and birth control . life ' s ah bit** , then you die , so f*** the
world , and let ' s get high !
Bitch #644005
I don't talk shit, I state facts, get the fuck over it!
Depression #673372
the most depressing thing about the weather is knowing that its only October and that its going to get
colder
Single #671350
Sometimes you have to stand alone to prove to others and yourself that you can still stand
Bitchy truth #684264
Ya' know, I really don't *want* to be one. I try *really* hard not to be one. But these people are turning
me into an evil bitch on a daily basis.
Love you #681514
When you see that special someone you can`t seem to get them out of your head its like your head is on
repeat..
Funny #638728
girl could you please turn down your swag just a bit its interfering wit my awesomeness
Funny random #657234
It's no wonder the grass is greener on the other side, it's fertilized with bull $hit
Humor #673843
The State of Confusion, the easiest place to live, and low taxes.
Most popular #665408
One of the best things in life is seeing a smile on a persons face and knowing that you put it there.
Sarcastic #678375
wants to know who came up with the term "bored shit-less". it's like 'oh I'm so bored i can't poo
anymore!'
Love #644946
i have the best est friend in the world i love her but cant stop thinking about him!<3
Kids parents #654620
Is it legal to claim "not me" and "I don't know" on your taxes, Because I swear they live at my house!
Sex #632187
boy: "Do you like apples?" girl: "why?" boy: "cause id take you home and fuck the shit outta you, how
you like them apples" ;)
Lyrics #630875
baby i love, i never want to let you go, the more i think about the more i want to let you know that
everything you do is super cute- never shout never
Sarcastic #681017
When someone tells you..OMG have a cow..reply to them.."Why not Mary had a little lamb!"
Crazy #632898
cant talk have to hide from the blue monkeys who r chasing the pink polka dotted zebra who have
decided to attack the green penguins in my room under my bed
School #675731
thinks that school is a place where we waste half our life on learning how to waste the remaining
Sadness #632380
broken heart, hating life, and nothin is gettin better. nothin more to do other than just give up.
Love #674511
There is no way on earth I can be mad at you because in two seconds you make me smile. I love you! XD
Mixed #684229
y me? y not the person reading this?
Facebook #671636
Spelling test. Procrastination. F-A-C-E-B-O-O-K
Thoughts #657322
It's often the smallest things that make us smile the most.
Heartache #685044
You can only push someone away so many times before you look up and realise they are gone for
good...
Bitchy #665187
Once a bitch always a bitch,you just got too live with it ! :D xx
Life #680913
When people give advice, listen but always make your own choices.
Religion #670698
Sometime it can be painful when God comes in and rearranges our life. Have Faith!
Mixed #657582
its going to be an interesting day when you answer your phone and jump out of bed like a ninja
screaming "hell ya! I'll be there as soon as i find my pants!"
Blonde #669593
skydiving instructor says 2 pull the parachute when you can recognize the faces of people on the
ground... blond says "what if i don't know anybody down there"
pissed off #648134
i will leave at the sign of BULLSHIT!
Most popular #663454
Never ignore a person who loves you and cares for you. One day you may realise you've lost the moon
while counting the stars.
Crazy #675580
thinks relationships are about finding the crazy you can tolerate.
Love #665184
On your Mobile on predictive text type '41568319681'. and click like if it made you smile x
Religion #676403
time passes,people leave,memories fade,and stones crumble but no matter what God will always be
with us!
Bitchy #631877
Bitch remains bitch.poor remains poor
Best friends #685542
you know how i know your my best friends... because i can insult you none stop but you love me anyway
:)
Happiness #667106
Recipe for happiness: Live with enthusiasm, smile for no reason, love without conditions, act with
purpose, listen with your heart, and laugh often.
Love #671327
sometimes you have to finish all the tears to find a place in your heart to smile :)
Humor #662091
Mom: "Sure!"
Mixed #639766
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Wait What?
Annoyed #638419
fuck off already ... i don't want to hear Ur voice anymore
Love #678866
We are all a little weird and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join
up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
Annoyed #658858
knows a person who should be hit by a bus!!! they also hopes the bus stops and reverses just to make
sure!
Crazy #661693
me- I'm not crazy...
Lyrics #646772
I pray your brakes go out at 110, I pray you pass out drunk with your best friend, and wake up with his
and her tattoos.
Rednecks #629931
always wondered if you catch a fish and release it, does it go back to its friends and tell them they got
abducted by some aliens?
Thoughts #663586
Never try new moves in bed, your partner will NOT be enjoying it. Instead they'll be wondering who you
learned it from!
Heart broken #638003
Forget the worst times with them but laugh at the bitch who fucked it up for you! * K.A*
Bedtime #655131
is out like a fat kid in dodge-ball
Funny #632524
but none can take away Dora
Angry #653906
Is Cutting Branches off the family tree!
Single #660410
Looking for that boy who deserves the key to my heart
Inspirational #665915
People can take something to a point, but there's always a point where it has to end.
Drama #638661
gets all their drama from TV. That way when they gets tired of it they can just turn it off.
Annoyed #654113
Is glad they knows who are TRUE friends are not the one who suddenly turn there back on you because
there back stabbing bitches, Yeah you know who you are!
Funny random #656462
Isn't it funny how everyone thinks they are the normal one in their family?
Blonde #648999
I'm blond, smart and beautiful that's a triple threat right there
Jokes #687657
___/_____________O/_____ Swim kid! Swim faster kid! Faster, faster! Oh who am I kidding...Swim little
shark! Swim faster little shark! Faster, faster!
Twilight #681857
while they all keep fighting over Jacob and Edward, I get Emmett and you get jasper (Alice and Rosalie
don't need to know a thing about this)
Bitchy #683956
Would like to know why they make man-size tissues for the man with a cold, yet they don't make man
sized nappies for the man that's full of shit.
Bitch #684284
Yea I'm a bitch and I'm proud!
Bitchy #684895
You called me a bitch ? a bitch is a dog, a dog barks, bark is on a tree, tree's are nature, and nature is
beautiful, so thank you for the lovely comment ;) x
Christmas #645071
I just bought a Christmas tree. The assistant asked "Will you be putting it up yourself?" I replied "NO!
You sick bastard, It's going in the living room!"
Life lessons #674307
There are some people in life that are worth the hassle and there are others that are not.. i know who
isn't and who is now!
Mean #626711
.. so what you ARE gonna do is, take my order, take my money, give me what i have paid for and smile
sweetly and suggest I have a "nice day" OK BITCH !!!
Bored #671683
stand in the middle of a shopping mall and stare up at the roof of a building until a crowd gathers to look
up with you, then walk off.
Humor #649442
I'm not childish...I'm maturity challenged.
Lies #652010
If you could hear yourself the way I hear you, perhaps you would stop thinking your lies are so
convincing.
Boyfriend #632269
Boy; *whispers in their ear* Ily
Life lessons #680721
When it seems life has dealt you only bad cards, remember this: Life isn't about playing a good hand.
Life is about playing a poor hand well.
School #672294
Teacher: Where's your homework? Student: At home Teacher: What's it doing there? Student: Having
more fun than I am..
Angry #635312
Don't fear me when I'm angry and yelling, fear me when I'm angry and quiet.
Lies #636950
EVERYONE LIES, that's a given! But don't lie about something that I'll eventually find out the truth about.
That's just stupid! smh..
Family #681158
When u have a place to go at the end of the day - that's HOME; when u have people to love - that's
FAMILY; When u have BOTH - that's a BLESSING!
Funny #627951
<-- is an awesome person, you are not allowed to disagree
Love you #646092
I love you that fuckin much! C-MAC
Mixed #634835
Do you love me do u wanna be my friend cuz if ya do well then don't be afraid to take me by the hand if
u want to I think this is how love goes check yes or
Mixed #629969
Amazing popcorn can withstand 125 psi of pressure before it pops, a car tires can only cope with 90 psi
Mixed #684208
y do people say they gave up all for their kids? i honestly do not feel like i gave up anything. i feel like
they gave me EVERYTHING;)
Dreams #658993
knows what they wants and will put their heart and soul into getting it no matter how long it takes! xx
Mixed #681909
Who do you think you are? You have a prestigious job, so you don't talk to people like me? Go look at
yourself in the mirror.
Break ups #646661
I never once thought that I'd lose my feelings for you, but that's what's happening.I guess I'm actually
looking through the past and realizing all the bullshit
Hope #681312
When you feel like falling, stand up. When you feel lost and alone, remember you are loved. When you
lose hope, look to your heart and find hope again.
Best friends #628693
a good man is worth a million dollars, but a best friend that knows the real you and still loves you.
PRICELESS!
Forgiveness #638026
Forgiveness does not always heal. Some people are not capable of love, let them go along with your
anger. Wish them well and let them go their way.
Christmas #640304
has finally figured out the colours of Xmas! Red for the blood sweat and tears we shed, green for the
money we spend, and white for the padded room we need.
Evil #664612
Oh my gosh, u hate me be/c i tell it like it is?! Well then...cry me a river...build a bridge over it, and then
JUMP OFF!!
Funny #641053
Have you ever had that EXTREME urge to just dance... Yeah that's me right NOW! :)
Best friends #631673
Best friends are the people walking into your life when everyone one else walks out :)
Love #662882
My love for you is like an endless river, it continues to run and run. My love for you is as tall as the
biggest mountain there is...I love you baby and always.
Thoughts #664954
Okay, let's get your thoughts. If I were stranded on a desert island, what is that one thing that you think I
would want to have?
Facebook #684114
Wow, when i was 10 i had a coloring book and chalk, :)
Angry #654497
Is in 1 of those "FUCK" moods consisting of a lot of Fuck this, Fuck that, Fuck it, Fuck you & Fuck off so
don't be surprised if i tell you to go & get FUCKED
God #625113
"Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned, forgive, and ye
shall be forgiven." ~Luke 6:37~
Breakup #633411
congratulations. you have succeeded in hurting a girl who truly loved you
Karma #670367
some people just need to have a nice slap in the face but as much as i want to i resist.. because i know
karma can hit you way harder than i ever could
Crazy #676125
This past week has been CRAZY! The Full Moon 24/7 kind of week Uggg :(
Tired #662362
My ass is dragging so bad I think I'll have to pick it up and carry it!
Heart broken #630087
and i will smile and put on a pretty face but in the end and inside of me its not ok,its the farthest from
ok.
Blonde #685718
You know when your a blond when u cant find your phone and your looking everywhere and its in your
hand!
Love pain #625079
"It's amazing when strangers become the best of friends but it's sad when the best of friends become
two strangers."
Sad #635077
doesn't want to go to sleep because tomorrow will be a new day and I haven't finished dealing with
today yet!
Mixed #670332
Some people come into our lives to remind us how NOT to be. Learn from them and let them go.
Friendship love #647121
I smiled back and said:
Boys #671485
Sometimes, when I talk to you, I forget to breath.
Boyfriend #650432
if a guy calls u cute, hes looking at ur face, if guy calls u hot, hes looking at ur body. But if a man calls u
beautiful, hes looking into ur heart. Anna<3
Bitch #628143
>>i may be small compared to you. . but just a little reminder: dynamite comes in small packages<<
Mixed #640496
has no time for those who look down on their and feel the need to criticize and judge. I am who I am
and feel no need to pretend just to please others.
Single #625461
"Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything
less than butterflies." - Sex in the City
Strength #677971
used to think life was about picking winning battles, but it's not. It's about learning, loving, growing and
changing. What you learn is what really counts
Crazy #672175
Take them seriously at your own peril. **Warning** sudden loss of sanity may be experienced during
conversations with this person.
Best friends #628218
A best friend understands you just a little bit more than you understand yourself.
Fun #662672
My good girl button is broken. (K~)
Funny #642982
I am starting a story everyone has to add their own bit and lets see how it turns out here we goo Once
upon a time ...
Attitude #648792
I'm a bitch if you don't like it leave me alone!
Angry #638044
Forgiving those that hurt us is the gift we give ourselves. Anger and resentment only makes us feel
worse, not better.
Life #632363
BREAKING NEWS: Duncan Bannatyne has been kicked out of Dragons' Den for telling Debra Meaden to
f**k off and get them a sandwich.
Drama #686752
you think you can talk crap, and you think your so tough and try to hurt me. NEWSFLASH: It doesn't. it
just shows how immature you are
Facebook addiction #648831
I'm a dick, i am addicted to you <3 u Facebook
Angry #687002
You're going to get what you deserve.
Break ups #662689
My head is telling my heart "I told you so!"
Advice #637765
follow your instincts...avoid people who indulge in gossip, let go of toxic friendships/relationships and
sidestep troublemakers destined to wreak havoc!
Funny #663049
My psychologist's name is Jack Daniels.
Witty #657700
Its raining. The rain cant cool down my love for you. -the millionaire's 1st love
Funny #631137
beans beans good 4 Ur heart the Moor u eat the moor u fart the moor u fart the better feel so eat Ur
beans in every meal
Kids #633068
Children are gifts...they save your life, give you the strength to change it, and teach you some of life`s
greatest lessons!TREASURE THEM!
Boyfriend #657788
IWroteYourNameInTheSandButTheOceanWashed ItAwayIWroteYourNameInTheClouldsButThe
windBlewItAwayIWroteYourNameInMyHeartAnd ForeverItWillStay<3
Annoyed #638944
go ahead and play your little childish games, I have u figured out, I'm a few steps ahead of u, think u can
fool me?a sample of your own medicine is on it's way
Lonely #654012
is feeling BLAH. Bitchy, Lonely, Angry and Hurting
Boyfriend #657084
it's easy to tell just anyone that you love them but when you really do love someone it might be the
hardest thing to say.
Depression #630287
Another day to sit alone in a dark room, cry, and wonder what you did to deserve this life. No one cares.
No one to comfort you.
Love #677647
u may be my boyfriend, but you're also my best friend...i love u <3 u are the light of my life and you have
the key to my heart <3
Christmas #640149
has been gift card laundering, these gift cards I got last Christmas will be squeaky clean and ready for re-
gifting. No one will ever catch on to my operation.
Monday #687795
~ WARNING~ I DON'T PLAY WELL WITH OTHERS!
Bitch #660315
Long' as you mother fuckers kno, I'm the BEST bitch doin it!
Bitchy #658576
Karma is a bitch with GPS for directions straight to your ass!
Life #632640
Bye whore
Life #673745
The rich snobs that steal, should immediately be given their "last meal" ! No wonder they have so much
$ ! I'd rather be poor !
Love #686536
you say you hate to see me cry, so tell me when you hurt me do you close your eyes?
Jokes #679536
What did the lions do after the won they won the super bowl.. Anyone.. Shut off their play station and
went to bed.. LMFAO
Love #663453
never hurt the people you love because one day they may not be there anymore<3
Sex #651722
if u want me ,come and get me
Friendship hurt #646818
I realize that I do way too much for my friends, I get nothing in return.
Mixed #642329
How many years do u think I will be in jail?
Bored #655470
Is so boorrrreeeeeeeeedddddddd... Oooohh a bug, I'm Gonna chase it, BRB...
Love #670784
Sometimes I can't stand you but I will forever and always love you! There is no challenge we can't defeat
if we do it together. I LOVE YOU!
Confused #658477
Just when you think you are finally seeing the light and the end of the tunnel...BAM! You get sucker-
punched and knocked back out :-/
Angry #657340
It's only murder if they find the body, Other wise it's a missing person..Just a thought.
Witty #665120
OMG... so have to tell you... did you know...Oh well makes no never mind :p"
Angry #642708
i am done with this shit
Relationships #659342
Letting go is simple when you realize it wasn't actually there to begin with. It's the thought that it was,
and what you put into the illusion that is difficult
Boyfriend #628772
A kiss is just a kiss until you find the one you love.A hug is just a hug until its the one your thinking of.A
dream is just a dream until you make it come true
Smile #657009
It's amazing how something as simple as a text message that says "Hey" can make you smile :)
Sex #650172
I've been getting plenty of sex lately... LIFE fucks me on a regular basis!
Boys #650025
I'm the one who is gonna wait for you no matter what. I'm gonna be waiting in the rain, snow,
sleet...anything..just to get your heart as my own.
Mixed #669310
shit me no give!
Lies #687977
~You don't love someone you lie to and you don't lie to someone you love~
Sarcastic #671296
sometimes you are the dog, sometimes you are the tree.
Funny #633347
comment below to say why you are my friend.
Bitch #631860
Bitch is not a term of endearment. But hey, if you've earned it go ahead and wear it out. Your trashy
peeps will honour you.
Blonde #677445
Two blonde's are on there way to Disney land one blond sees a sign that says Disney land left! they both
started to cry!
Bored #632792
Can you guess what I am? If u can't... then your and IDIOT! I AM BORED
Random thoughts #687231
Your character is your destiny.
Bitchy #629519
AHHHHH so your the Bitch, who told the Bitch, that I'm a Bitch, so listen Bitch, it takes a Bitch, to know a
Bitch, BITCH
pissed off #657616
Its just one of those days. I'm just in one of those moods. You know the one: OH you don't know well
FUCK YOU! Get it now?
Morning #654958
is now having relationship with their coffee cup.
Morning #639407
good morning bitches
Love hurts #635610
don't say sorry to me say sorry to my pillow 4 having to catch my tears, my heart 4 trusting u, say sorry
to your sorry ass for Wat my friends r gonna do 2 u :)
Fun #673142
the guide to life: step #1 , breathe
Life #670643
Someone once asked me, "Why are you always happy?"
Bitchy #635670
Don't tell me what to do its my life I will do what i want when I want whenever I want, You got a
problem with that tell some one who gives a fuck. =) Thanks
Witty #674011
The waitresses at Hooters have large racks, so the waitresses at IHOP should have only one leg. . . just
sayin'
pissed off #686820
You wanna play games; Game On. Just remember, I'm not just a bitch, I am an intelligent bitch and you
are out of your league.
Advice #633392
Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know
Love #637691
Finds it really funny when the person who I'm talking about in a status likes it.
Chocolate #653491
is a chocolate loving chocolate lover that loves chocolaty chocolate
Friendship #638285
Friends will tell u if your going to trip on something. But Best Friends will watch you trip then laugh.
Bitchy #651310
if people ran on the treadmill as much as they ran there mouths;there wouldn't be any weight issues.
Men #661828
men should be tagged like cattle...Green for single, Red for taken and flashing light for Moron. Imagine
how much easier life would be :)
Friendship hurt #644391
I gotta have friends...Even child molesters have friends...I mean, they're usually other child
molesters...But you know, they go to lunch and stuff.
Funny #653990
Is Face Book hiring? I put my 40 hours in this week!
Best friends #632450
but A best friend is someone who screams " I LOVE YOU" from across the hallway
Annoyed #643165
i believe that in the end Karma will catch up to you, beat you up and dish you right back what you've
dished out, and when they does I'm going to just laugh
Bitchy truth #643088
I am who I am. Don't like it? I have a easy explanation for you then.
Best friends #661126
loves my friends like a fat kid loves cake!
Bitchy #643966
I don't play games, I WIN THEM! So watch ya back if ya gonna play games with me!
Bitch #626912
...hey, are you the bitch, that told a bitch, that I'm a bitch? So listen bitch, it takes a bitch, to know a
bitch!
Funny #654948
is now able to fart the alphabet! except when I soiled myself on S, but by then everyone on the bus was
pretty upset
Friendship #638862
Girls know how to fake smiles. But boys know how to fake feelings.
Funny #659313
lets say you have no kids... you hire a babysitter anyway and tell her or him kids are sleeping don't
bother them when you get back you say where is my child
Bitchy #648775
I'Love'You'Forever. Best friends :). xx You smile , I smile. You laugh , I laugh. You cry, I cry. You fall over, I
SIT THERE AND LAUGH LIKE HELL ! :D. <3
Boys #678200
Wanted :
Breakup #634592
Dirty bitches stealing other women's men , usually find that their ass in the same seat of the woman
they stole from in a matter of time Damn that karma ! Joi
Life lesson #659741
Life isn't about what happens to you, it's about how you handle what happens.
Evil #680604
When i was baptised, the holy water i was placed into started to boil.
Best friends #675804
thinks the best thing about Facebook by far is finding old friends you haven't had contact with for many
years - and & the 2nd-best thing is making new friends.
Love #672959
The difference between love & in love
Tired #655918
is tired and has been tired. And now I am even more tired since I have been spending the last half hour
trying to find the perfect "I'm tired" status.
Sad #628462
A false friends are not more than a shadow follows us in sunny days and disappears in dark .
God #631820
Birds falling out of the sky, fish washing up on shore, Check out the Bible need I say more?
Humor #638754
girl: "Your an idiot" boy: "No I'm not" girl:"See! Your in denial!"
Life #638290
Friends, Family if either blows u off after making plans and keep doing it then u must move on and not
worry about them anymore!
Sad #627050
...sad-face here...pouty lips and all!
Sarcastic #647897
I was at home and a police came to my door saying, that my dog attacked some man on a bike...So i was
like uhhhh i don't think my dog has a bike!
Funny thought #663137
My wife just told me to take the salad cream & ketchup to bed with us tonight. Saucy bitch
Christmas #668373
says remember Christmas is a time for giving, so give generously, I accept credit cards, cheques and cash
Weird #655098
is on the 7th planet...your anus...wait...
Alone #657315
It's not your fault I'm a bitch, I'm a monster..Yes I'm a beast. But I'm alone on my throne. This time won't
you save me? Baby I can feel myself givin' up.
Friendship #633430
contrary to popular belief, they's actually NOT a nice person. their biggest contribution to your
friendship is how bad they talks about you!
Pain #670947
sometimes I wonder, why me? What did I do wrong to deserve this??
Bitch #686850
You want to see me as a bitch? Fuck with my friends and family, I'll show you the best and worst bitch
you've ever fucking seen! That's a fact.
Funny thought #639327
Going to Walmart dressed as a lion and hiding in the cupboard welcoming people to Narnia when they
open it, is frowned upon and you may end up with a black eye
Mixed #686180
You men say you don't trust something that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die. Well...us women don't
trust something with 2 heads and only 1 brain. :)
Love #674402
There is a fine line between Love & Hate.Hate is pushing them off a ledge. Loving them means you don't
taunt them after you've pushed them off.
Mixed #651764
if we are going to HELL, Ur riding in the front of the role coaster leading to HELL!
Christian #655264
is realizing the importance of faith
Feelings #671020
Sometimes its easier to hide what you feel... Sometimes its easier to pretend you're happy... Sometimes
its easier to push everyone else away...
Bitchy #631335
being a 10 cent hoe ; doesn't make you a dime piece (:
Love hurts #685352
You fell in love with me because of the person I am, you now expect me to become the person you want
me to be, and I can't do that, not even for you. Sorry. : (
Fun #667888
Say's.....Damn right im good in bed, i can sleep for hours... hehe... Nite Nite my dirty little minded friends
! xx
Love #679786
What is it with boys...when you hate them they want you, when you want them they don't want you.
Sad #684911
you can always hold back the tears and keep yourself sane- until someone asks if you're okay, that is.
Sex #658891
knows someone that they wants to make go mmmmmmmmmmmm...
Pain #672363
Tears
Angry #655379
is sick of childish sulking twats who spit the dummy when you say something they don't like... get over it
you wanker!!
Life #643409
i cant keep it in anymore,i need to shout it so loud everyone can hear.so here goes!"I MISS YOU"
Pissed off #678470
wants to slam someones head in a concrete door because some people just know how to piss me right
off
Love #647738
I want some 1 who is willing 2 do anything for me and die for me, 'Nd i won stop breathing 'till i find
them : D
Advice #625728
"What people say is wrong with you is most likely what's wrong with themselves."
Funny #664887
OK,OK I will tell you my biggest fear...Hear goes...MY MUM!
Christian #684569
Yesterday was history, Tomorrow is a MYSTERY, But today is a gift from God to us, so be thankful for
today! :)
Sarcastic #661103
Loves it when people start shit, then claim to be the victim when it blows up in their face!! Just saying..
Mean #683522
wonders if I bring my boss a note from my doctor saying I have tourettes if I would be allowed to swear
and yell at the customers?
Boyfriend #650195
I've been trying to think of a good status to explain my feeling for you, then I found this one and it sums
it up perfectly. Babe, I love you <3
Quotes #687857
~C.S. Lewis
Smile #654667
is just so happy they got to see someone that made their smile today :-)
Christian #639202
God sees us as we can be, but loves us as we are.
Philosophy #628343
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world
Lovers #658804
Kisses are poison. Sex is addictive. Love is a drug.
Quotes #653461
is "when the power of love overcomes the love of power, then the world will know peace" -Jimmi
Hendrix
Work sarcasm #658292
just realized that after Sunday, Monday, & Tuesday, the calendar says W.T.F.! LOL. Just saying...
Jacob black #648066
I went 2 the pet store 2 find a dog, i saw Jacob Black, and said "mommy i want this one!"
Life #638970
Go back to bed
Life #659144
Learn to love the people your with Because when they're gone you will see how much you really loved
them You don't see how much you love someone until its gone
Depression #678482
wants to tell someone how they feels all the time...but cant hurt those who want to listen bc they cant
stand ppl worry about their...they dont need to worry...
Housework #683234
Wishing I had an automated house that cooked and cleaned with the push of a button. That would be
nice.
Coffee #650694
If I could inject coffee into my eyeballs, I would.
Life #649247
I'm in uncharted water without a life jacket or a guide book. Hm, what to do???
Sadness #671450
sometimes, I'm afraid to be happy, because every time I'm happy, something goes wrong,and hurts me
sometimes to the point where i wanna give up and end my life.
Witty #676242
Those who think they know it all...
Boys #626985
...is thinking about that one boy they'll probably never loose feelings for:)
Lyrics #657895
Jim Morrison
Bored #627159
...you know you need to get a life when you've just spent half an hour compulsively rearranging your
trees in Farmville.
Wisdom #643127
I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life. God said, "No. I will give you life, so that you may enjoy
all things."
Life lessons #667208
Relationships are not made...they are built out of love, trust, and caring.
Hurt #630693
At one point in my life...you were there for me every time I turned around...now I am spinning circles
and you are nowhere to be found...
Breakup #637065
Everything you said , everything you did. It was all a dumb game that your very good at playing. But just
to let you know i don't play games.
Love pain #685802
you know you truly love someone whenever you let them go so they'll be happier and better off, even if
it means living a life without them
Funny #630687
At my age, rolling out of bed in the morning is easy, getting up off the floor is another thing!
Hate #640696
hate is a power full word i don't usually use it but because your special il use it :) :P
Humor #656191
is wondering ..who many punches does it take to knock the stupid out of people ? for you .. its going to
take a lot ! :P
Harry potter #636780
Every time I'm switching through channels and see a Harry Potter movie, I can't help but watch it! even
though I have seen the movies 1232173672 times! :) lol
Funny #682318
why do leprechauns always laugh while running through a field? the grass is tickling their balls!
Life phrases #626917
...how many times you fall isn't as important as how many times you get up.
Depression #655945
is tired of feeling sick and sick of feeling tired
Boys #643633
i don't want a knight in shining armor gimme a boy in boots and camo.
Drugs #680207
When a long-time drug addict tells you they aren't doing drugs anymore, you can bet your sweet ass
that they aren't doing them any LESS, either!
Rednecks #639461
Good ole' country music, windows down, beef jerky, nothin but wide open country. Now that's my kind
of livin' <3 (:
Prayer #659423
life has knocked me to my knees. now all i can do is pray.
Boyfriend #672041
Sure riding into the sunset on a white horse sounds nice. But, I prefer a guy who we can sit on the couch
and play video games together. <3 I love you hon.
Bitchy #646606
i need space, LEAVE ME A FUCKING LONE, yeah I'm taking 2 u
Pain #683040
wish this pain would fuck off.com...cant cope with it no more!!!
Inspirational #625849
"You have failed only when you quit trying. Until then, you're still in the act of progression. So, never
quit trying and you'll never be a failure.
Haters #658401
just to everyone who hates me for w.e. reason i dnt give a flying fuck b/c u think ur better then me but
id rather have friends who like me and who arent as
Monday #662162
Monday? ..Really? I'm quite sure I didn't get my full portion of weekend !
pissed off #655529
is so pissed off they's going to put their foot so far up your ass it's going to tickle your tonsils.
Love loss #647631
I walk around with a smile on my face, but underneath is the lonely tears that only come out at night
after everyone goes to sleep...Praying things get better!
Angry #653614
is angry, hurt, frustrated and just wants to smash someone in the face!!!
Humor #662507
My doctor told me it's o.k. to talk to the unicorns again.~:)
Crazy #649717
I'm one Crazy, Psychotic, Suicidal Bitch, and boy, don't I know it.
Heartbreak #656632
It hurts when two people who love one another have to let each other go because they will never
change.
Faith #681418
When you least expect it, something happens that makes you realize that God's up to something. We
serve an awesome God.
Coffee #627001
...just realized how much better coffee tastes when I can sit back, relax and enjoy it without watching
the clock. Gotta love non-work days.
Mixed #640834
hates it when Ur at the cinema and the person sitting next 2 u says 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid
$12 to come here and stare at the damn floor.
Truth #656762
it may take days, weeks, months or even years. but EVERYONE shows their true colors in the end
Mom #636971
Everyone says I look like you and I act like you, but I could never measure up to you! Mom your the best
and I miss you and love you more everyday!
Sarcastic #669413
sick of drama? Ur the one who starts it idiot-
Mixed #629364
Add to my story! There were two girls going to meet their boyfriends late one night at a party when they
took the wrong turn and got lost,it was cold so they..
Crush #646512
i miss u like hell when u r not there, but what's d use, i have no chance of talking to u even if are there..
Lies #675496
thinks its funny how YOU r mad at ME when all I did was catch YOU in a lie
Men #647320
I think its funny how boys say we r bitches but they act like bitches more then us we r the ones that has
2 do everything am I right
Mixed #633473
Could someone please change the bulb on the bright side?
Blonde #641545
hey bitch , are you the bitch , who told the bitch , that I'm a bitch , it takes a bitch , to know a bitch, so
HEY BITCH
Funny #683505
wonders if anyone else walks around during the day seeing things and thinking "ooh! that would be a
great Facebook status!"
Bitch #672113
T-to
Bitchy #661536
May the flees of 1000 camels infect the crotch of whoever ruined your day and may their arms be too
short to scratch. Then you can have a good day.
Heartbreak #629416
After all the shit you put me through, all the nights I cried. Why do I still love you? Even now you're gone
and were not together. I still love you x
Attitude #665580
Oops... My bad... I forgot to tell you... I'm allergic to BULLSHIT!!!
Funny #676990
Today, I spent five minutes shaking a bowl of Jello because it looked cool. I regret nothing.
Funny #659466
Life is a good thing...I suggest you get one.
Christian #676343
Throwing stones is fine if you're willing to receive what you give out
Funny #665840
Peanut Butter, check. Butter, check. Banana's, check. Frying Pan, check... Fried Peanut Butter and
Banana's sandwiches here I COME! Ooh Yum!
Truth #680235
When all else fails, turn to Jesus...they never fails! they loves you and will help you. Just ask. ms
Animals #661263
Loyal, sweet, funny, affectionate, loving, protective, giving and beautiful. you didn't know I was talking
about pit bulls did you? stereotypes are not true.
Lonely #687926
~My shadow's the only one that walks beside me. My heart's the only one that's beating. Someday I
hope someone will find me. 'Til then I'll walk alone.~
Annoyed #681914
Who does depression hurt? Everyone who gets in my depressed ass way. Where does depression hurt?
Ask the last B#@ch who got in my way where here face hurts
Facebook #627921
; You don't need to worry if you have imaginary friends. Only start worrying when they add you on
Facebook. ;)
Drinking #633446
Cop: "Your eyes are red. Have you been drinking?"
Funny #672900
The day the world ends, I will be the one dancing on a roof singing "CAN'T TOUCH THIS!!"
Best friends #679086
We rock when we're together, but suck when we're apart. Friends are forever, together at heart.
Facebook #645229
I keep telling myself that I'm gonna go to sleep, but yet you see where I'm at huh??
Humor #677095
Tractor for sale,
Confused #683189
wishes they could update their status with what they's really thinking.
Witty #676273
thought for the day: Every action has an equal and opposite re-action
Bitch #630843
B.I.T.C.H! I'm a big...bitch.
Bitchy truth #625078
"It's All Good" (My Ass)
Heartbreak #657180
It's hard waiting for someone that isn't looking for you.
Humor #633057
child: its not fair SAM gets a lolly
Strength #638042
forgiving someone takes time, but doing it makes your heart and mind stronger
Angry #654849
is needing a hug, a weapon and strong alcohol. Not necessarily in that order.
Single #646273
I may be single and I may not have a million comments on my profile and pictures but at least I have fun
and don't have to worry about hiding who I really am (:
Facebook #685347
you ever want to chat with someone on facebook and as you're typing 'hi' you realize you have nothing
to talk about? FML.
Men #663428
never give someone control of you by telling them your wants and desires when they don't want or
desire you.
Jokes #663180
N:Sponge Bob Square Pants
Love #669154
Sex in a relationship is the icing on the cake . . . but ya gotta bake the cake first before you can put the
icing on!
Mixed #644229
I felt the need to post a status. I just don't know what to say.I have a lot on my mind. And i cant say what
I'm thinking.
Bitchy #677542
u can only get away with things for a certain amount of time...and trust me, your time is running out
Rednecks #626128
's redneck word of the day: Artery - The study of paintings
God #637820
For all You have left me.
Friendship #656644
It is amazing how certain friends remember you for your birthday. That they will tell others happy
birthday & then they forget about you.
Life #634272
death is beautiful
Coffee #632670
Caffeine...it's like swallowing sunshine :)
Facebook #685645
You know there's nothing new since the last time, but you check it anyway.
Bitchy #672130
take a good long look at your own life before commenting on mine as yours is far from perfect!!
Recently added #645963
I love when my man calls me baby, sugar, princess, darling... Makes me feel like a million bucks!
Inspirational #660189
Live on Laugh on Love forever
Life #625035
"If your "coach" is making u practice harder than the other players, it's not to be mean. It's because they
sees your potential."-Kirk Franklin
Funny #678581
warning, may bite if provoked...consider yourself warned!
Funny #661556
May you suffer from explosive diarrhea and only be allowed one sheet of toilet paper at a time.
Haters #640735
Haters are put on this earth to polish the diamond inside of you to make you shine so don't hate haters
embrace them and use them to your advantage
Funny #647011
I see no ships .. only bloody hardships
Alone #671019
sometimes its better to be alone because then no one can hurt you
Funny #642507
I <3 life. Life is not easy. Life is not fair. Life can sometimes be downright painful. However, there is just
way too much fun stuff in life to not love it.
Bored #682162
why be called a bitch if you all ready now you are one. i think its a silly term if you ask me, why should
we be called a female dog.=)P
Bitchy #648995
I'm bitchy...what's your superpower?
Truth #656763
it may take days, weeks, months or even years. but EVERYONE shows their true colours in the end
Boyfriend #665381
one is like heroin, addictive, but shit for you. The other however, is like neurofen, makes all the pain go
away! <3
Religion #637347
Faith without science is blind; science without faith is immobile.
Angry #646443
I might make bad decisions, but they are MINE. Why don't you stop worrying about what I'm doing and
go get a life of your own.
Blonde #673295
the man says to the blond Halloween's on a Friday this year and the blond says i hope it's not on the
13th
Bitchy #659100
laughs at those who judge me, when they should look deeper into the mirror.
Funny #638674
getting a haircut is never fun, especially when your going bald
Bored #659840
life your of sec. 30 about wasted just i ha ha .done your .3,2,1. bored I'm because this doing only I'm. go!
stop! go!this reading stop now. read it backwards!
Friendship love #682420
why do things have to be so complicated! why can't you just realise that i like you? i want to tell you
how i feel but i cant ruin the friend ship we have! :(
Love #665260
One chance. Two hearts.. Three words...
Bitchy #632254
BOY:- I've never used the block feature on Facebook. Can you show me how to use it?
Bitchy #648809
I'm a Bitch? Ur a Bitch, and Ur moms a Bitch for having a Bitch, and Ur dads a Bitch for fucking a Bitch!
SO WHO'S THE BITCH NOW!
Love #674180
then i will choose my last breath to tell you
Funny crazy #654249
is going to play with the sparkly purple apes and shiny yellow unicorns. Anybody want to come? We are
going to visit the Red Leprechaun...
Friendship #626219
(F)unny,fantastic (R)eliable,remarkable (I)ncredible,interresting (E)dgy,entertaining (N)utty,noisy
(D)azzling,daring everything i love in my best friend! <3
Alone #631390
Being alone or being quiet doesn't necessarily mean anything is wrong, sometimes it just means you are
happy with your own company and thoughts!
Bitch #640228
has decided that contrare to popular belief,apparently I don't bitch quite enough or my kids would pick
up after themselves. So I guess I will bump it up a bit.
Sad #670763
Sometimes friends just go away and leave you. Well if Ur best friends go away and Ur lonely u can lean
on me. i will be there for u.
Parenting #658773
Kids should come with a warning that says: "Caution can make you Bipolar"
Funny #648643
I'd catch a grenade for ya, If the pin was still in. I'd throw my hand on a blade for ya, If it was dull. I'd
take a bullet to the brain for ya, If it was Nerf.
Break ups #636816
Every woman deserves to be someones everything all the time, NEVER settle for being someones
something every once in awhile. ~DMH~
Bitchy #677964
used to be a strong confident independent rocker b*tch with a f*cking personality... when did I allow
myself to become a f*cking doormat!? Time to stand up!!!
Insults #669389
shut up slut the only test you can pass is the pregnancy one.
Bitch #658693
keep talkin bitches...your only makin me famous:)
Facebook #634094
Dear person sending me Farmville invites,
Witty #624968
"I've got to go. I've got a roll of lifesavers in the car, and the next flavor is pineapple."
Mom #681768
Where are the three perfect children I ordered? I specifically asked for loving, care free, and fun. I got
cranky, spoiled, and stubborn...LOL
Boys #636328
even after all the shit you put me through I'm still here to care for you. i want to forget and let go, but
somehow its not possible.
Angry #653743
is beyond pissed off. Don't you love how you go out of your way to help a person, then they shit on you?
Well guess what? Not again, you can all get fucked.
Funny #634591
Dirty Bastards!
School #644289
I fucking hate school!
Hate #626534
- William Shakespeare
Mom #642003
Hopelessly addicted to my children's laughter, their sweet kisses, and unconditional love <3
Sex #651631
if u found me in your shower would u,(A).scream @ me (B)laugh @ me,(C).kiss me,(D).join me,(E).sex
me,or(F) say wtf!
Bitchy #638764
girl: bitch !!
Friendship #627065
...says there are some people in life that, no matter how much they hurt you, will never leave your heart
or mind...
Tired #640071
has a serious case of T.O.P.W.O.P.S (Tired Of Putting-Up With Other People's Shit!)
Love #671494
sometimes, you feel like u r an unwanted scrap of metal attracted to a magnet(boy). but you just have
to know that a you can be attracted to another magnet.
Crazy #645776
I love my blue crayon! wait where did it go?! "its over there!" oh i see it! "go get it!" I cant this stupid
jacket keeps making me hug myself!
Love #650038
I'm the type of girl that likes to be cuddled up on the couch, have their hand held, & being around their
man. If that makes me clingy, so be it!
Life #665549
only when you know you have a good friend is when you cry they are be your side and when you are
mad the try to cheer you up
Philosophical #678835
we all have faults, but we must embrace them & accept them as part of us. It's what u do with that
knowledge that makes u a better person
Rednecks #626390
*Redneck Dictionary* Hammer: Honey, what do want on yer sandwich? hammer turkey? - blue collar TV
Mixed #645609
i love ? try and Jess inboxxxxxxxxxx
Mixed #665111
OMG, what, something just happened, what where? over there see that speck right there, yeah what
about it, its making me suspicious...
Funny #642692
I am certainly not insane, how dare you. Your just jealous that i can hug myself in this AMAZING coat in a
room with gummy bears that keep trying to kill me!!
Heart broken #686761
you think you love someone , but then you don't then you do and then they break your heart and wtf do
you do let them do it !
Christian #635512
Don't lose hope. When you are down to nothing, God is up to something. Keep your faith strong! <3
Politics #667304
Remember when Ronald Reagan was president? At that time, we also had Bob Hope and Johnny Cash.
Now, we have Obama and no hope and no cash.
Sex #651731
If u woke up & saw me in your bed would u? 1 Go back to sleep. 2 Tell me to leave. 3 Cuddle me. 4 Have
sex with me. 5 Make me breakfast. 6 Call the cops.
Boys #643474
I could wait patiently, but I really wish you would...
Facebook #644689
I have a Facebook addiction, and I admit, I need Help.
Hurt #642461
hurt my mother ? paybacks a bitch
Depression #641121
have you ever thought about looking through my eyes and seeing the world the way i do? well maybe u
should cause then u would understand.
Bitchy #646429
i might be a cruel heartless bitch but at least aim good at it.. you should try it as it might make you feel
better
Sarcastic #647204
I swear it's a lemon flavored snow cone. What you don't trust me?
Funny #633231
click 'LIKE' if we have ever had a drink together!! see how many i can get?? 'COPY' and 'PASTE' to you
status see how many you get :-P
Drugs #631892
bitch you can suck my dick if you don't like my shit, because i was high when i wrote this so suck my dick
- Eminem
pissed off #654722
is like being in bed with a porcupine a thousand pricks against one. -- Dag Nasty
Sex #634519
Did you know women can only drive up to 68mph? Once they get to 69 they flip over and blow a rod!
Boys #639701
guy says ''i love you'' girl sneezes and says ''oh I'm sorry I'm allergic to lies''
Politics #676535
To all the businesses and politicians who waste thousands of dollars overfilling my mailbox.. Thank you
for giving me things to start fires with
Hurt #672738
the best part about walking in the rain, is that no one knows you're crying </3
Funny #642731
I am going to attempt to staple Pudding or Jell-o to a tree. I WILL REGRET NOTHING! >=3
Most popular #673555
The only thing that can stop time is a picture.
Boyfriend #686671
You stop my tears, get rid of my fears, You make me feel safe cause I know you'll never let anything bad
ever happen to me :)
Funny #665144
on halo reach what do u do reach for a halo lol
Haters #661048
Loved by MANY Hated by PLENTY
Bedtime #666310
pillow CHECK! - Blanket CHECK - Bed CHECK - Good night
Funny #658553
k) read
Funny #665464
One question, one honest answer! That's all you get. You get to ask me one question. (ONLY TO MY
INBOX) Any question, anything, no matter what it is drty or not
Heartache #664420
obviously you don't know what LOVE is because if you "fell in love" with me why was it so easy for you
to break my heart </3
Mixed #657633
its never to late for a fresh start. thanks a lot ass hole i turned the page and you wont be in the final
chapters =]
Bitchy #629727
All the shit I know about you could easily back fire and ruin your life !!x
Love #645659
I love her. She loves him. Me and him are good friends. I just want her to be happy. But i also want her
to be in my arms so i can hold her close and hug her
Funny #687740
~ I've been waiting for this moment since I was a sperm in my dad's testicles~
Sarcastic #685964
You laugh at me, THEN try and BE me??? Who's laughing now??
Boyfriend #650783
If i had a dollar for every time you made me smile, baby I'd be a millionaire if i had a grain of rice for
every time you made me laugh, i could feed the world.
Funny #626450
+______________= <3
Mixed #636869
everyday is a gift that's why we call it the present.. live for today tomorrow hasn't happened yet.
Alone #674367
there comes a point in your life when you realize you are not okay with being alone
Love #648751
I'll never forget you, I'll always love you. I know it's not the same for you, I'm just your friend. But I'm
deeply, madly, crazy, insane in love with YOU! Hugs
Attitude #641901
Hold up your head, act like a lady, carry a big purse... with a large caliber weapon and extra ammo.
Mama always said to be ready for anything.
Annoyed #625285
"My business isn't your business. So unless you're my thong, don't be up my ass."
Mom #652623
If you think being a mom is a full time job, try being a working mom, it's like having two full time jobs,
with halftime pay!
Mixed #656119
is vicious, malicious & magically delicious ;p
Boys #645513
I LIKE THE WAY U THINK!
Heart broken #653423
instead of tears coming from your eyes they come from your heart but when your heart is broken how
do you cry for no one to see? </3
Men #661853
MEN... I am sure they only have relationships with women when older because they can't sleep with
their mother.. GROW UP
School #628357
a boy was late for school one day so the teacher asked him why. he said i saw a sign so she asked what
did the sign say? he replied ''school ahead go slow''
Breakup #667883
Say's when in doubt, listen to death metal. There is always someone with a temper much worse than
yours :)
Best friends #646626
I need you to hug me, listen to me, and tell me everything is okay even when it's not...this is the
definition of a best friend.
Humor #674933
They say as soon as you get what you want, you don't want it anymore...I say that depends on what it is
you get. *winks*
Mixed #646996
I searched stupid and got me
Best friends #681151
when u cry..i am your tissue!!wen u laugh.. i am your clown!!but when you need a friend..ill be your
best!!
Blonde #632405
Brunette: Which is closer the moon or Florida? Blonde : Well...you can't see Florida
Mixed #633468
Could have let you punch me out
Kids #674122
the worst pain in your life is not labour pains, it watching you child in pain and not being able to make it
go away.
Chocolate #632669
caffeine, chocolate and awesome friends life is good.
Funny #659567
Life is just a battle between laughing and crying... Me? I choose to laugh...
Best friends #687089
You're the peanut to my butter. The star to my burst. The pop to my tart. The fruit to my loop. But most
of all, you're the best to my friend
Love #649844
I'm so happy for the first time in ages :) all thanks to that one special person XxX <3
Sarcastic #644241
I finally realized why you like talking behind my back so much, it cause that's where my ass is and you
like talking to your peers
Hate #636995
Everyone want to know what my favourite lie in the world is. wait for it.I LOVE YOU! call me a liar maybe
you should check the fucking mirror!
Bitchy #655147
is over pathetic people who lie just to get themselves ahead in their stupid sad lives,, honestly when is
enough actually enough??
pissed off #660325
Look at me once and judge me first ... you little c#nt, you dont know what the fuck ive been through to
get to this point so maybe you should SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
Drama #647197
I swear I can't make this crap up... who knew my life was so interesting that people have to make up
sh@t about me? Wish someone would clue me in sometimes. :)
Best friends #685731
you know who your best friends are when they are willing to lick windows with you...LOVE MY WINDOW
LICKING FRIENDS!!
Friendship #660005
Like this status if were related :D
Love #647083
I sit here, looking at your profile. Wishing on day it would say "I love you" from me and then the next
day you would do the same.
Mixed #636256
elephant farts smell like peanuts
Jokes #684555
Yesterday i got a splinter, i got half out. But then i ran around trying to ignore it but when i took my shoe
off it was on the other side. HOW THAT HAPPEN ! !
Best friends #631661
best friends are like wedgies...they know you inside and out, and are glad you picked them!
Humor #680671
when I'm serious all i get is laughs;/
Life #634606
Disney is bullshit. Pets will not help me clean my house. I will not discover that I have magic. And don't
even get me started on that whole true love thing...
Bitchy #682390
Why do people try to stir up trouble when they don't even have a spoon?
Christian #656670
it is funny how people will listen to a G P S system to be guided in the right direction yet they won't pick
up a Bible when they are lost.
Life lessons #665531
only let people in your life that prove that they want you in theirs, because getting stabbed in the back
hurts, but getting played like a fool hurts more...
Mixed #633558
crazy? i was crazy once,they put me in a round room-I HATE ROUND ROOMS, they remind me of worms.
WORMS? i hate worms they drive crazy! CRAZY? I was crazy once!
Mean #632429
Build a bridge and get the hell over it before i push you off and drown you!!
Family #640445
has learned over the last few years that friends come & go but your family is there forever!!!
Love #652432
If you love me then i think i am in love with you <3
Crazy #654885
Is not crazy! Crazy is throwing Skittles at the Wal-Mart cashier and screaming "Taste the rainbow
BIATCH!!" I only did that twice.
Boys #644406
i guess its time that i get over you...u have a girlfriend and it doesn't seem like u want to change that...i
need to move on so i dont miss something great...
Karma #661913
mess wit someone...then u remember karma's a bitch u try to make up for it then there's karma an kicks
u in the ass wile the one u messed wit laughs at u!
Love pain #683103
Wishes my mind had a delete button!!
Men #684368
Yeah, that's right, "I'm Single"~It means I know what I deserve And not settling for anything less!
Funny #627777
8:10 Blondie text her friend asking he if she was a wake friend: duh I'm not three! Blondie: well I'm
sleeping so SHH!
Love #673445
the one for you is the one that makes you smile every day even if your in a fight, the one you say i hate
you to and take it all back in 3 seconds later
Funny #686272
You might be Canadian if: You pronounce the last letter of the alphabet "zed" instead of "zee."
Love #629005
A relationship is like a job. You have to work hard to get in it, and you have to work even harder to stay
in it.
Life #636629
Every guy will hurt you at least once in your relationship and the ones that really matter will try to get
you back.
Sarcastic humour #641096
Have you ever noticed that 75% of the time you use L.O.L your not even really laughing? lol
Lies #673912
The time will come when you realize just how good I was to you, but when that time comes, it'll be to
late, bc I will have found someone who truly deserves me!!
Sad #627096
...They say that time heals all wounds but all it's done so far is give me more time to think about how
much I miss you
Funny #646112
I love you you love me,
Prayer #660967
Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't
Love you #663989
No one else will Love me like you do...
Funny #665939
people don't notice what you do, they notice what you don't do...
School #640891
hates those stupid bitches @ school that say your their friend and back stab u. do you hate them? if you
do PLEASE comment:D!!!
Mixed #644371
I got out of bed,got ready,went out side to wait for the School Bus then realised that it was Saturday I
said to myself (fucking alarm clock)
Life #656764
It may take some time but eventually I WILL get revenge! I so fucking will!
Friendship #670122
Solving a problem in a friendship is hard..But letting that friend go is even harder. but sometimes its the
right thing to do.
Mixed #666598
Priorities changes with the times and so does the options
Boys #683747
Wonders why the ones you don't want want you. But the ones you do want don't want you back.
Hate #650800
If I had known it would hurt this much, I never would have told you I love you.
Life #687887
~hit them with a pan
Funny #680360
When I die, don't write R.I.P. on my grave. Write B.R.B. and see people react :D
Twilight #668010
says "the doctor diagnosed me yesterday, its official I have OTD ( Obsessive Twilight Disorder)"
Bitch #645458
I let Karma handle my dirty work
Philosophy #675388
thinks if everyone treated others how they would like to be treated, there would be no sadness or war,
starvation or homelessness, or broken hearts.
Insane #666034
People say I lost my mind... I disagree 'cuz I thin- OMFG!!! THERE'S A SQUIRREL! WTF?! A NINJA
SQUIRREL! AWESOMENESS!!! Wait- what where we talking about?
Angry #644812
I have found a new talent today, it's called dickhead. I know some one who is very talented -.-
Humor #637155
F.A.I.L = Freaking Awesome Incident which causes Laughter
Christmas #630664
at Christmas some people come to your house and give you love but others come just to eat your
cookies
Breakup #648150
I will never know which to chose, letting go or holding on. They both end the same, but only one is
worth it.
Mixed #677074
toot toot ..
Humor #662267
mother:life's not fair
Stupid #627261
..True friends are aware how stupid you are, have experienced it 1st hand and still choose to be seen in
public with you!
Faith #626682
. . . it only takes a tiny mustard seed of faith to move that mountain...just believe that if God brings you
to it they will bring you through it!
Boys #651471
If the boy breaks the girls heart but the girl brakes the boys x-box who would cry harder
Life #654703
is learning not to give a s*** anymore because every time i do I'm the one who always gets hurt.
Bitchy #655347
is sending love to all their friends <3 and an arse to all their spies (_Y_) please kiss the appropriate one
guys LOL!
Politics #674066
The word politics is derived from 'poli' meaning many , and 'tics', which are blood sucking parasites.
Heartbreak #624940
"I'm dieing inside and there's no way out the only one that can save me is the one that's killing me" ~ by:
Elizabeth Buck~
Angry #682295
why do i even talk to you? all you ever say is bullshit...
Love #661347
Make yourself a blessing to someone. Your kind smile or pat on the back just might pull someone back
from the edge. Carmelia Elliot
Love pain #651183
If loving you is wrong, well then i don't wanna be right, because i cant imagine my life with out you by
my side ...FOREVER & ALWAYS ..i LOVE you <3
Sex #663055
my pussy enjoys it much better !! meow !! lol wink !!
Tired #653421
Instead of sitting here searching through status shuffle to find one to explain how sleepy I am, I think it
might be smarted just to get of FB and GO TO BED!!!
Bitchy #675919
thinks why is it you can totally be yourself and no one cares but as soon as you turn into a bitch
everyone notices???
Best friends #642686
I am blessed to have a friend, one person I trust completely, who has seen the best and worst of me, yet
loves me in spite of my faults.
Questions #679762
What if we all carry, rely, and use our bibles as much as we do our cell phones?
Funny #633342
Comment - answer below!!
Mixed #639523
got 2 words for you.. you're awesome
Philosophical #675405
thinks if you try to be everything to everybody, you will lose yourself!
Friendship #676556
to backstabber= you talking about me this much kinda makes me feel special.
Jokes #632239
boy: wake me up before you go go! Me: fine you can do yo business first
Funny crazy #672132
take a left on crazy, keep going until you hit insane. Follow that down to lunatic, turn right on insomnia,
way past retarded and there you are @ my place!
Christmas #641572
Hey Fat Man,
Christmas #633170
Christmas songs for the Schizophrenic -- Do You Hear What I Hear???
Boys #682592
Why is it like all of a sudden boys wear skinny jeans and straighten there hair..like wtf? are thy going to
start wearing make up and grow boobs?
Attitude #652121
If you don't like my honesty then don't make me use it.
Love you #663888
No matter how many times I get hurt because of u, I won't leave u. Coz even if I have a thousand
reasons to leave u, I'll look for that one reason to fight 4u:)
Blonde #644198
I feel so random, oink,moo,cock a doodle, SHIT I forgot what a rooster says. Oh I know now cock a
doodle shit.
Boys #648215
I wish guys knew that when a girl send "k" something is wrong with their
Heartbreak #681339
When you find that "one in a million" person, you don't care that your odds are a billion to one.
Christmas #638792
Girl: No... they fakes
Bitchy #636100
Due to technical difficulties, my "I do care button" has been switched off, leaving me in "Bitchy Mode". I
apologize to anyone I have/will offend. :)
Sarcastic #632082
blruuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhh Oh sorry just throwing up cuz I saw your face
Friendship #627136
...When you help you best friend with every think they need you for and then you just hear them
slagging you off, then you think what a best mate they are :'(
Life #631445
Being single doesn't mean your weak, It means your strong enough to wait for what YOU deserve
Life lessons #652081
If you don't know my struggles then don't open your mouth to judge me or try to give me advice unless
your life is perfect.
Love #671511
sometimes...Love Hurts!
Feelings #681406
When you hurt my feelings, you'll probably never know it. But you may wonder one day where I've
gone. If you don't wonder at all, it wouldn't surprise me.
Bitchy #676106
This message was brought to you by the Letters F and U..
Bitch #684884
you call me a bitch? a bitch is a dog, a dog barks, bark is on a tree, tree is part of nature, and nature is
beautiful so thanks for calling me a bitch! ;)
Inspirational #679793
What is love... It's when you give the other person what they need the most when they deserve it the
least."
Love pain #675147
they's tired of hiding the pain and covering the tears...they finally lets go and tears roll down their
cheeks as they whispers "I don't want to be me"
Sex #633689
damn right I'm good in bed, i can pull moves you wouldn't believe, there's: the fart, burp, snore, talk in
my sleep, the roll over and the steal all the doona.
Funny #672224
Talking to yourself isn't bad. It's not even that bad when you start arguing with yourself. It's when you
lose that argument that you know your in trouble.
Love #636925
everyone has faults but in u i see none <3
Bitch #635176
Don't be mad at me cause I say what others are afraid to say.OUT LOUD!
Boyfriend #671329
Sometimes you have to go through a couple idiots in tin foil to find your knight in shining armor :)
Best friends #631644
Best friends are forever. They never let you down, when need someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on,
and, most of all, they will never forget you.
Crazy #646138
I love you, you love together we will rape barney
Family #657516
Its amuses me when people aren't aware of the extent I'm capable to go to protect myself & those I care
for.
Friendship hurt #678878
we are becoming more and more distant everyday..
Dreams #636016
Dream what u want to dream; go where u want to go; be what u want to be, because u only have one
life to live and one chance to do all the things u want to do.
Rednecks #636947
everyone know they need 1 redneck in the fight they are not scared to bleed or anything
Funny random #670410
Some people say I'm a smart-ass, & I say yeah, that's because I'm short and I have to sit on books! =)
pissed off #655166
is pissed off and mad about it!
Work #675715
thinks that no matter what your job position is, working in retail simply means cleaning up after rude
people and answering stupid questions! WTF
Bitchy #669415
Sick of hearing people bitch all the time...do us all a favor and shut the fuck up for once!!
Life lessons #663574
Never talk bad about someone who is walking a path in life that you were once on yourself. Some paths
are longer than others, with more hills to climb.
pissed off #635757
Don't want to hear my opinion? then don't ask, I'm not here to sugar coat shit for you.
Funny random #626011
'Mr. Krabs' lives in 'Bikini Bottom'..Think about it. xD
Boys #664961
okay, since when did talking become flirting??? Seriously people? Seriously?
Drama #683144
wishes that some people would stop being so bitter when they caused their own drama
Bitch #634018
Dear lord, please help me get through this day without bitch slapping someone~Amen
Confused #671260
sometimes when i say I'm fine I'd like someone to wrap their arms around me look me in the eyes pour
their soul into me and demand to know whats going on
Sex #669160
Sex is beautiful and so are you ;) so that makes our sex extra beautiful
Mixed #637138
f b is short for face book can if you have any other words that have these initials comment and i will use
the best word to call face book forever :D
Men #660556
Love and alcohol are a lot alike... Under the influence, you can make some pretty messed up decisions!
Christian #681782
Where i am weak God makes me strong. Where i am strong God makes me better...
Bitchy #629745
all those things u heard bout me could be true OR they could be as fake as the bitches that told you!!
Faith #625818
"You believe there is one God? Good! Even the demons believe-and shudder." there is a difference from
knowing ABOUT Jesus Christ and KNOWING Jesus Christ.
Life #680834
When life piles stuff on your shoulders & your knees start to buckle..they buckle, not because of the
weight, it's your soul telling to kneel & pray!
Encouragement #659527
Life is full of challenges, but these challenges are only given to you because God knows your faith is
strong enough to get through them :)
Bedtime #658370
just spent about 20 minutes looking for the right status and is finally off to have a threesome
Hurt #651292
If pain is good for the soul, then my soul must be perfect
Funny #662508
my dog got my balls :( mum tell the dog to give me my new football
Sex #644399
I guess "my dick" was the wrong answer...
Love you #625469
"Sometimes I wonder if the things that remind me of you... remind you of me"
Funny #628303
A blond went to the doctor one day. The doctor said they had a dry scalp. they went home wet their
head and went to the doctor and asked "is my scalp wet now?"
Mixed #686875
You were my first true love..and I want you to be my last<3
Christmas #633135
Christmas as a child - Magical!! Christmas as an adult - Fun!! Christmas watching your child smile for
days on end - Priceless!! Merry Christmas to all <3
Mixed #679970
What would you think if you saw me in the back of a cop car? Comment below and tell me...
Stress #633999
Dear Life, I understand your a baseball fan..but can you throw someone else some curve balls for a
while...thx.
Justin bieber #638803
girl: Team Edward or Team Jacob? me: bitch! I'm TEAM BIEBER! <3
Funny #664630
Oh no! you have to call me right away I saw on the news the short bus was taken hostage by Butterflies
armed with purple crayons and paste.
Life #635925
Don't you wish you could block people in real life? click They're gone.
Silly #630190
and then i was like DUDE! and they was like DUDE! and i was like DUDE! yeah its a true story.. you just
had to be there :)
Christmas #630580
As the Holiday season approaches, may your home be filled with lots of Love, Laughter and Yummy
smells!! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!
Funny #668463
says that you cant say Irish wristwatch
pissed off #644099
i dont flippin care say wat u want i dont live to please you.twat
Love loss #643905
I don't love you! I only love who you used to be. The person you are now is breaking me to peaces and
making me feel like shit. =(
Boyfriend #670921
Sometimes I wonder how the hell my boyfriend chose me over another pretty girl(:
Crazy insane #656032
Is trying so hard to find their happy place!! But the evil thoughts and voices are distracting me :'(
Funny crazy #655257
Is ready to punch Jack Frost in the snowballs! LOL
Best friends #672726
the best hugs are from the best friends <3
Break ups #628552
A friend will go up to your ex and ask why they dumped you. A best friend will go up to them and say,
"It's because your gay isn't it?" :]
Missing you #654815
is missing someone a ton and doesn't know how to make it stop or get over it or just hold out hope. the
heart wants what it wants and i can't change that.
Love #668084
says all of my friends mean the world to me. 1 hint that I lost you makes my heart shatter, Bf's are
forever and sisters are forever and eternity.
Christian #678507
wants you to know that although you can't go back and make a brand new start, you can start now and
make a brand new end! To begin, PRAY.
Attitude #642587
I am 98% sassy, 2% angel, and 100% attitude.
Mixed #625562
"The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake - you can't learn anything from being perfect." ~
Adam Osborne
Heartbreak #648255
I wish I didn't love you anymore, because I don't want to hurt anymore!
Weird #648951
I'm an artist I'm supposed to be weird!
Heartbreak #634238
Dear Tummy, sorry for all the butterflies. Dear Pillow, sorry for all the tears. Dear Heart, sorry for all the
damage. Dear Brain, you were right
Life lessons #681055
when the heart says ENOUGH, the head has no choice but to listen..
Bitchy #658679
keep my name out of your mouth unless you think you can handle the taste.
Humor #683665
wonders why dogs prefer Cat-box Crunchies and Poopsicles to the best dog food made.
Lies #652974
If your gonna tell lies on me, then the next time you see me lie to yourself and say it wasn't me.
Jokes #634876
Do you think the Queen has ever pulled the bed covers right up and said 'Look Phillip I'm a stamp'?
Happiness #639982
Happy that I have amazing people in my life and excited that I still get to share memories with them
Justin bieber #682362
Why do people hate Justin Bieber? I mean I guess haters are just jealous they don't have the
talent...Why else would they be hatenn?? LOVE YOU JUSTIN!
Mixed #637254
facebook's kinda like prison huh? Sitting all alone in a room, writing on a wall, getting poked by
strangers all the time. ;)
Drama #644629
i hate when someone says they hate drama and most the time their the ones starting it.
Life #677533
U can be in the company of YOUR own negativity all the time, and be completely alone, or U can let it all
go, and be completely surrounded by friends and family
Insults #646657
i never mattered to you before, i don't mater to you now, so what the fuck gave you the impression that
you matter to me??
Bitchy #658669
Keep giving me those dirty look and I'll make your fuckin face stick like that Mk? thanks(:
Love #655546
is so thankful for the life I've got! I've got a wonderful man that loves me, a beautiful daughter that's my
world and a family that has my back in everything!!
Parenting #667911
says "Any guy can be a father, only the special guys can be a Daddy"
Happiness #681670
When your heart beats for someone, its amazing.When your heart skips a beat for someone, its
breathtaking.
Sex #684135
Write me a letter. Dear __, you have a cute __. You make me __. You and I should __. I'd get your name
tattooed on my __. You are so __. I __ you, love from __.
pissed off #682065
Whoever hates the Go Compare advert and would like it's scrapped sing the petition below... Let's get
this fucker off air!!
Sarcastic #662986
My New Year's Resolution is to stop procrastinating...I'm not starting until next week though.
Work sarcasm #677150
Triple the work load - check,
pissed off #649059
I'm done being the person who's there for everyone, and yet when i need them, big surprise no where
to be seen. door Matt is not on my c.v!!!
Mean #682773
Why is it when you're in a relationship you can't see things clearly but once you're out you stop, look
back and ask yourself...WTF was I thinking???
Bitchy #632717
can almost always give you an answer, but I don't guarantee that you'll like it!
Funny #661816
Men just need a time and place.
Breakup #649163
I'm going to take the past and burn it up.lift my head and carry on..cause baby I'm stronger than you'll
ever know..
Love #659558
life is great! Regret Nothing, Live like its your last. laugh like you have never laughed before. love like its
never hurt!
pissed off #655163
is pissed beyond words. I'm done being nice and I'm done being walked on. You want a bitch? Now
you've got one, and I'm not about to back down.
Work #658108
Just checked the obituaries and the Forbes list, didn't find my name on either one. Guess I'll get ready
for work.
Jokes #665037
omg omg omg i have some good, great, cool, awesome, brilliant news,UM OH NO I FORGOT AHHHHH
OH WAIT i know "hi"
Philosophy #633899
Dear God, Please grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, courage to change the
ones I can, and wisdom to know which sh!thead is worth it.
Funny #670579
somebody said arm wrestlings shows who is strong let me hit u 1 good time see if u dont fall
Religious #637890
For some of us it's a tap on the shoulder, for others it's a slap in the face, but we all feel the hand of God
in our lives at some point!
Funny #637653
Finally received my letter I sent to myself telling me to fuck off. I sent it back to sender. Guess I'll be
fucking off again in a couple of days.
Love pain #659004
knows you are bad for me but can't help but love you. :(
Best friends #628627
A good friend helps you up if you trip, but a BEST FRIEND just stands there laughing because they
tripped you
Boyfriend #638559
Funny how your friends of the opposite sex stop talking to you when they realise they wont get
"Benefits" from it..
Bitchy #652150
If you don't sign my paycheck, pay my bills or sleep in my bed your opinion of me means absolutely
nothing. Sorry to disappoint you!
Crush #629643
All I want is for you to tell me your fighting for me till my heart stops beating <3
Funny #638682
Getting hurt is like boys' jobs. Last summer Jake actually fractured their ass doing a cannonball into the
bathtub.
Funny #658409
just tripped backwards, and said to his/her mates. I attacked the floor, like any of you can do that. Pfft,
jealous much!
Love pain #654764
is looking through Status Shuffle, trying to find a status for how they feels right now, but just can't find
the words to describe the emptiness. I miss you.
Mixed #638653
Get up. Laugh. And then get even
Love #665210
Once the "Power of Love" over comes the "Love of Power" we will all see "World Peace"
Bitchy #640881
Hates the people that pretend to be sweet an innocent when the shit hits the fan, but really there the
ones with the big wooden spoon, causing all the problem
Coffee #639875
Hand over the coffee and back away slowly and no one gets hurt!!!
Funny thought #678686
WAS IT A CAR OR A CAT I SAW.. 'WASITACARORACATISAW'.. This is the only English sentence which even
if we read in reverse, it'll give the same
God #632563
but to me it means TODAY GOD IS FIRST!
Weird #655218
is proud to be the window licking, helmet wearing, short bus riding friend. You love it and you wouldn't
have me any other way.
Humor #675098
they treats their pizza doe like their women, smacks is down, plays with it and doesn't oil it up.
Annoyed #655504
is so fucking over it whats the point of talking when no matter what you say or do its always your fault
Single #671386
sometimes you just need a cuddle because sometimes a cuddle is all it takes :)
Angry #656785
It really hurts when you expected so much more.
Annoyed #658887
knows some People need a real dose of reality. But it won't come from me. I'm having too much fun
watching the show.
Annoyed #686657
You stand there and smile, then when you leave you talk shit behind my back. Don't think I don't know
about it.
Funny #666235
Pepsi is awesome unlike apple juice and MT dew is awesome unlike pics and coca cola is awesome
unlike french fries
Angry #643081
I am who I am, Don't like me than BITE ME!!
Bitch #669253
Shes a feisty bitch, which kennel did you get their from?
Bedtime #629573
All dressed in my jammies and ready for bed, gonna give my sheets some ass and my pillows some
head!! nighty night!!
Witty #667711
Sad Fact of Life #17 - Rainbow Trout is NOT Skittle flavoured fish.
Boyfriend #678247
wants her man to know that she loves him very much and she'll never want anyone else but him! <3
Best friends #640875
hates that my best friend lives so freaking far away!
Christmas #626990
...is wondering, would it be wrong to ask Santa to drop their off in Margaritaville?
Hope #645364
I know things can be hard but you must hold on and fight through it...and think about the good things in
life not the bad.
Bitchy #663668
NEWS FLASH: I exist even when you DON'T want something
pissed off #647128
I SO hate two faced people.You deserve a slap. Which face shall I slap first the one kissing my arse or the
one talking behind my back.YOUR choice.:~
Break ups #684337
yeah yeah, i fell for you and all your lies, now kiss my ass and say your good byes!
Blonde #653750
is blonde. What's your excuse?
Heartache #663507
Never love anything too much. It will eventually disappoint you. <3
Bitch #668376
says remember when some 1 annoys you, It takes 42 muscles in your face to frown BUT it only takes 4
muscles to extend your arm and Bitch slap the Mother F#?@&R
Bitch #669917
so my ex said that I'm a psycho bitch, did it ever occur to you they made me that way. good luck with
that because you'll be the next one they calls psycho
Advice #687827
~*~Be grateful for what you have~*~Try not to dwell on what you don't have~*~And strive for what you
want~*~
Mad #636242
either the thing you hit me with better kill me or, you better be able to run fast!
Sad #678136
wandered a little to close to the edge, now shes fallen into the world of darkness and despair and they
cant find their way back to happiness :'(
Drinking #663095
My spirits are down today, I think I'll go to the liquor store to get more.
Love #647589
I used to have so many reasons why we shouldn't be together. But, now it seems I just have one... and I
don't even know their name.
Best friends #655683
Is thankful that they has a friend who sticks with their through it all. No matter what happens, you've
always been here for me. I <3 my unbiological sister. :)
Mixed #680238
When all else seems to be lost look to either side of life and see who maybe beside you walking that
giant mountain with you.. ~Simply Just Me~
Bedtime #679374
Well, I feel the Bitch in me starting to come out, I better go lock myself in my room where nobody can
get hurt...Goodnight Everyone!
Christian #639243
God's riches at Christ's expense
Mixed #671324
Sometimes you have to do things you don't like in order to be able to do what you love...
Funny #667844
say this out loud really fast.. "I am we tall did"
Drugs #656769
It must be spring, I just saw 2 crackheads pawning a space heater. Who needs a groundhog?
Love #636641
every little thing, or big thing - no matter how horrible, happens for a reason. we may not see it, or
recognize it, but it's there.
Bored #655486
is so bored that they is looking on 'Status Shuffle' for a status that expresses how bored they actually is!
time to get the hell out of here...road trip!
Friendship love #650310
I've never wished for someone who could give me the stars, just someone to share them with me.
Bitchy #669416
sick of people blaming everyone else for there own bad choices & unhappiness. We're adults grow up
and start taking some responsibility for your messed up life
Love pain #681491
When you push me away
Heart broken #651745
If ur nt good enough 4 them, then their nt good enough 4 u nvr let a broken heart get in the way of your
dreams ur 1 of a kind love is waiting for you somewhere
Love hurts #663893
No matter how many times you hurt me, I can't get over you. No matter how many times you treat like
dirt, like nothing, I can't stop loving you.
Rude #649895
I'm sorry but I do not recall asking You what you thought! Could you kindly shut the fuck up!
Sad #654433
is having one of those days where they feels like they can't do anything right.
Bitch #638378
Fucck No, i don't need a quote. My name alone makes a bitch choke!
Friendship #637711
first 20 people to respond to this are my best Facebook friends! comment your most memorable
moment of us!
Mixed #655354
is seriously losing the plot today!!
Boys #663733
Nice guys are found at every corner of the earth,a shame the earth is round
Bored #653776
is bored of being bored , as being bored is getting boring !!
Housework #637708
Fired the maid today. Bitch has been a no-call, no-show for a week now. Wait..that means..I fired
myself.
Mixed #683683
Wonders why I hang out with the people. all they do is annoy me, make me sad, make me mad and even
a few of them hurt me. :( Maybe I should start using my head
Attitude #653676
is asking everyone who wants to fuck up my day to please form an orderly queue... thanks!!!
Haters #680911
When people don't feel good about themselves they view other people's successes as a poor reflection
upon themselves. They resent other people getting ahead.
Work #638688
Getting ready for work tomorrow - vodka, Prozac and their "I don't give a shit" attitude-yup, all ready!
Best friends #686946
you'll always find Ur way back home. home is where the heart is. behind every heart there's gonna be a
best friend on guard just in case it breaks. :)
Humor #669432
signed Mr flower
Bitch #629954
am not 1 bit sarcastic, am just humorously fuckin honest
Philosophy #624484
"An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body,
but an evil friend will wound your mind." - Buddha
Parenting #676937
Today's parents use time out. My mom used a different type of time out. they'd be like "there, take time
out to pick up your teeth."
Hurt #664015
No one seems to notice the pain shes holding inside and no one cares enough to look for it.
Life lessons #649585
I'm not perfect, deal with it.
Humor #654095
is getting some really good, hot, steamy sex! U'd think my hubby would be pleased about it but they's
not!!! they's really not happy about having to babysit!!
Hurt love #662346
My 1st mistake: befriending you...
Funny crazy #684236
Y'know those signs you see in towns that say, "Drive careful, we love our children". DUH, you're not
gonna see the sign that say, "GUN IT, WE'LL MAKE MORE!"
Pissed off #653402
Instead of being born, some people should have been swallowed or spit out!
Hurt #656626
It hurts to see someone u miss ignore u it also hurts to see that they don't realize it but its more hurting
to know that they also miss u but wont let u know!!
Harry potter #674081
The World
Angry #649301
I'm like god. I can make your nightmares into dreams dreams into nightmares and both into reality so
think twice before messing with ME
Love #653104
ill tell you what you not gonna do... your not gonna sit here and say that everything was my fault i didn't
make ya ass cheat you decided to do that on your own
Funny #645014
I heard that we cannot live without LOVE.. but according to me, oxygen is more important :P
Stress #637658
FINALS: May cause sleep deprivation, loss of friends and fun, neglect of family, excessive crying and hair
loss and burning eyes. Is the semester over yet???
Christmas #676504
To all me wonderful friends and family, I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and an AWESOME new
year :) happy holidays!
Pain #648132
I will gracefully and peacefully cease to exist from your life. Perhaps then you will realize your mistakes
came from your arrogance.
Christmas #632229
Boy: Not you! Santa!(Points 2 man)
Mixed #626062
's favourite number in the alphabet is purple (:
Religion #625554
"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord
looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7
Bitchy #653890
is currently not people friendly
Humor #657235
It's no wonder the grass is greener on the other side, it's fertilized with bull$hit
Bitch #641711
Hey, can I borrow your face for a while.. See I'm going to a Halloween Party, and that mask goes
PERFECTLY with my slutty-bitch costume!
Humor #634486
did you know 97% of all teenagers have smoked, sex,drugs , or drink? Post this to help Mr cookie take
over the world
Sarcastic humour #633202
city girls slip and slide while country girls grip and ride!
Lyrics #625180
"Life's a dance you learn as you go, sometimes you lead and sometimes you follow." - John Micheal
Montgomery
Kids parents #639295
Going to attempt to clean my house even though i had no part in messing it up!!
Humor #661427
many people say "nothings impossible" well i am guessing they never tried to lick there elbow OR staple
jello to a tree
Mixed #662287
Ms. I need a new butt. My butt has a crack in it!
Boys #681523
When you smile at me, my heart skips a beat, because I forgot how to breathe.
Monday #656109
is very happy. AND it's Monday. Are you scared yet?
Love #643290
i can only hope we will be together some day<3
Bored #666901
Rate Me Please :
Love #657383
it's so cute. when you smile at me you know exactly what you do. baby don't pretend that you don't
know it's true. because you can see it when I look at you. :)
Rednecks #626504
- Jeff Foxworthy
Sex #629258
A. Whore's do everyone at the party, Bitches do everyone at the party except YOU.
Confused #655661
is tangled in their own confused little world where doubts have taken over...
Bedtime #679353
well the men in white coats are here. They tell it it's my bedtime and are taking me to a cushy room with
a nice jacket that makes me hug my self.Night Peeps.
Hate #676063
this is no idle threat ..touch mine u bastards and u might as well write a farewell note! look up Ur family
tree, or rather orcadian archives
Sarcastic #637752
FOCUS!!
Men #682325
why do men like arguing with you
Faith #658931
knows that no matter what may happen today, that the Lord has it all under control. All I have to do is
have FAITH, TRUST in them & BELIEVE!!
Boyfriend #686129
You may not have been my first love... you may not have been my first kiss, but babe rest assured, you
will be my last(: I LOVE YOU
Bitchy #635384
Don't include me in your plans? Fine, I won't include you in mine. Have a great life bitches!
Funny #661718
Me: Lalalalala!! I'm not listening!! Friend: Well, I'm not listening either, I'm just typing and reading what
you type.
Work sarcasm #650739
If I don't find a job soon, prostitution is looking pretty damn good. No Taxes, Work your own hours, &
get paid for sex instead of doing it for free at home.
Funny thought #626367
*Mom Calls Your Name* Yeah silence Yeah silence YEAH silence Wtf... sighs and gets up to go see what
they wanted
Insults #633777
dean takes pussy dips
pissed off #682155
why are you such a prick?
Bitchy #659076
laugh at the bitch who fucked it up for you!
Heartbreak #683753
wonders why there are no painkillers for emotional pain?!?
Christmas #667759
Santa wants to know if you have been naughty or nice this year and if you were naughty did you tape it?
Depression #678871
we are all going through different battles and struggles, but we also handle them very differently &
where u get your strength is another story..
Love #640249
Has decided the friends they has are amazing! The friends they will meet in the future are lucky! The
friends from the past need to come back
Crazy #642935
I am so bored right now! anyone want to talk? I'm not speaking to my imaginary friend at the moment.
Funny #679575
What do you call a blonde that dyes their hair? Artificial Intelligence
Bitch #674159
their life ;)
Friendship #661712
me: HEY GUESS WHAT! Friend: what? me: i forgot. friend: great-(interrupted) ME: OMG I REMEMBERED!
friend: OK what. me: i cant remember never mind!
Depression #670840
Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, "Why me?
Bitchy #663390
never cry for what is over, laugh for what the next bitch has to go through
Annoyed #654562
is in one them moods where even the devil says 'oh sh*t' and runs for cover!!
Funny #676833
Today I rode the shortbus with my friend it's a blue monkey. I lost my helmet and Melody ate my
crayons D: After that Nero stoled every coloring book I had. D':
Sadness #651606
if u cant b as sharp as a pencil to write sum1s happiness try at least to b as soft as an eraser to erase
sum1s sadness
Insane #675767
thinks that the red squirrel should stop staring at the purple polka-dotted penguin because its freaking
the orange polar bear out
Bedtime #668504
says time for my head and my pillow to spend some quality time together...
Witty #624649
"drugs can induce an altered state of consciousness" "yeah, know what else induces an altered state of
consciousness? SEX WITH A BLACK GUY!"
Annoyed #675327
thinks all they needs is a smoke, a beer, to kill someone, a smoke, a beer & then they will feel much
better & I'm willing to wait on the first 2 steps til later!!!
Jokes #680511
When i say I'm going to deliver, i fucking deliver. Like a postman with tourettes.
Truth #685042
you can only push a person so far and regardless how 'quiet' a person you think they are, they will snap!
Well, I've snapped & there's no turning back! I'm Done
Heartache #644408
I guess my world doesn't revolve around you after all.
Mixed #641825
hm mm..i guess i need a new scale.it started telling me the year instead of my weight.
Boyfriend #674599
there was a time in my life when i was done with love or anything else to do with a future with a man
then i looked in your eyes. I haven't looked away since!
Sarcastic #669433
Signed,
Bedtime #658727
keeps hearing voices. Oh wait, it's just my pillow calling me. Good night!!
Witty #659576
Life is like a big pile of crap but you just have to keep going and make it better.
Sarcastic humour #632767
Can someone tell me where on my marriage license I can find the expiration date?
Chocolate #637113
Exercise is a bad word & should you catch me saying it, the appropriate punishment is to wash my
mouth out with chocolate.
School #682558
Why hello there stress... Nice to see you again... You might want to make yourself comfortable... You
will be here for a while!!
Funny #672096
Swim little man swim! Swim away from the shark! You have to save yourself! You can do little man you
can do it!
Rude #668366
Says police have found a body in the park. Beer belly, saggy tits, wrinkly ass and no underwear. Please
friends just let me know your ok!!!
Blonde #635010
Doesn't know why blonds get offended by blond jokes, because if they understand the blond joke, it
obviously doesn't apply to them.
Karma #658646
Karma: every act done, no matter how insignificant, will eventually return to the doer with equal impact.
Good will be returned with good; evil with evil
Bitch #682021
Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pac Man, for 25 cents that bitch would swallow balls til
they died!
Angry #657672
Its not that I hate you, its just that I don't have the energy to care anymore...
Bitchy #639825
Had my daily dose of ORAL ENEMA!
Best friends #638184
FRIENDS are the ones that stick by your side.FRIENDS are the ones that care for you and love
you.FRIENDS are there forever for you.I love all my best friends xx
Coffee #662349
My 2011 New Years Resolution: I will no longer disembowel people simply for speaking to me before
I've had my 1st cup of coffee in the morning.
Jokes #628114
<JEALOUS YET>
Justin bieber #632193
Boy: "you suck!" You: "thanks," Boy: "your ugly!" You: "yup," Boy: "Justin Bieber is gay!" You: *roll up
sleeves* " WANT TO GO PUNK!"
Love pain #624901
"I stood still, vision blurring, and in that moment, I heard my heart break. It was a small, clean sound,
like the snapping of a flower's stem. ~Diana Gabaldon~
Attitude #635578
Don't put words in my mouth. And the words that do come out of my mouth, don't get them twisted! (:
Coffee #665835
peace, love, and coffee.
Recently added #674362
There aren't even enough stars in the sky, water drops in an ocean, or people in the world that could
represent how much I love you. =]
Life #669223
shack it up have a little fun every now and then
Angry #637945
For your own safety, avoid irritating me -- and if you do, hide the scissors.
Boyfriend #662741
my heart says "hes the only one u want and need"
Bitchy #664802
OK ppl here is the thing, fuck with my family i will fuck you up. i have seen enough CSI, Law and Order,
NCIS, and thing to get away with it
Angry #682591
why is it just when I've decided your a useless fuck you come back and decide, HEY how can i make
myself look like and even bigger useless fuck!
Funny #672236
Tax time is like Christmas for single moms.CHA-CHING! Lol.
Bitch #686685
You talk it; I live it.
Mad #652361
If you hear something about me, come ask me about it before you go tell 10 other people...nine times
outta ten its as fake as the person that told you.
Angry #676888
Today is one of those days I feel like smacking those people who really annoy me with a brick.
Funny #632092
Bob: OK WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH U??? Joe: what the hell r u talking about??
Advice #642086
How can I let you be a priority in my life, when I'm still an option in your life?
Bitch #652635
If you think I'm a bitch now, you should see me without my medication
Bitch #668755
says.. I'm not mean by nature, just PROVOKED!
Bitch #635100
dogs bark bark is off a tree
Chocolate #633667
daddy, i love you.. but you ate my chocolate. you're gonna pay.
Sarcastic #683268
With every guy that breaks your heart there is : your best friend's shoulder , your brother's shotgun ,
and a new guy with a hot glue gun to fix your heart (:
Rednecks #638625
Get er done, got er did, flipped their over, did it again, stopped a sec, took a breath, got back on it a beat
it to death :D
Happiness #673229
The key to achieving inner happiness is to strive to make someone else happy, instead of trying to make
yourself happy all the time.
Funny #674594
there was 3 kids called zip,willy,and pee been silly in the classroom, the teacher came in and sed zip
down,willy out and pee in the corner
Bitchy #666250
perhaps you should take a look at your own life, before you spread lies and rumors about mine.
Witty #675260
Think what you want, say what you will, but keep in mind, every second you waste judging me, is a
second you truly judged yourself.
Humor #651387
If someone is too shallow to tell you something in front of your face, then you shouldn't pay attention to
what they say behind your back
Lyrics #659796
Life should come with background music.
Tired #636286
end of the first day of school you feel like you need another holiday
Love #676477
tired of waiting for you to realize how much i really care. so i give up, your not worth my time anyways.
Angry #636240
either pull your head out of your fantasy world you created to cope with your completely shit life, or just
pull your head out of your arse!
Angry #675398
thinks if they put one man on the moon, they should be able to put them all up there
Facebook #644803
i have facebookdownsyndrome
Friendship #638279
Friends will listen and let you vent best friends will walk along side of you giggling "someones gonna get
it"
Funny #657381
it's so cold outside I saw a few gangsters walking around with their pants pulled up.
Bitchy #668499
says this is MY wall ! If you have a problem with what you see on here then STAY off it!!!
Christian #664241
Nothing happens by 'Mistake'..God doesn't make 'Mistakes'
Humor #658845
KNOWN FACT!!! Skinny jeans do NOT..make you look skinny if you are fat!!!
Family #658777
Kids, they grow so fast! I can barely remember the transition from, "Mommy! Look at this!
Witty #649811
I'm skilled at cooking... lol I can burn water
Lies #674774
There's truth behind every "just kidding". Knowledge behind every "I don't know"
Mixed #684612
You 2 are the biggest hypocrites I have ever seen. You both make up stories to make yourselves look
good. Well guess what, your are both scum under my feet.
Boyfriend #681238
When with you, I can be myself! I can smile a true smile, I can laugh a true laugh. Oh and...I love how I fit
in your arms PERFECTLY!
Jokes #634395
did Chris brown really hit Rhianna so hard they contines to ask whats my name
repetelyrepeacontinuesrsssss
Mixed #657540
its funny coz your gay
Funny #679339
Well read The Last Song!!
Best friends #650767
if I got in trouble would you bail me out? or be sitting next to me? Saying DAMN that was a blast!
Rednecks #650588
if duct tape wont fix it shoot it
Angry #636722
Every time i get mad i just have to remind myself, prison orange is not your color, prison orange is not
your color, prison orange is not your color!!!
God #639046
GOD BLESS, all the Grand Parents raising their Grand Children ,they have the Love please give them the
Strength, THANK YOU GOD
Love #669971
so think hard.! :D
Love pain #663891
no matter how many times u say love me or u r sorry at the end of the day u fucked up
Angry #640682
has zero intentions of pleasing anyone anymore, its all about me now! If you don't like it, remember
how you got here so you can leave the same way!
Annoyed #660447
Lord give me patience because if you give me strength I may beat someone to death.
Bitchy #666205
people who talk about other people's lives, clearly don't have one of their own!
Weird #646203
i luv u ,u love me lets have fun and kill barney with a knife to the throat and a kick from me or u no more
purple dinosaur :D
Love #647228
I tell myself i hate you .
Drama #668005
says "Some people should take a chill pill and stop sweating the small stuff.Life is too short for drama or
head games!" :p
Dreams #631473
believe in the impossible... because you never know what might happen
Boys #626333
*Create new message* *Starts typing* *Ex everything out and close phone* I wish you would text me
first!
Depression #641031
have you ever felt so alone it hurts? That's how I feel now. :(
Angry #652719
If you walk across my floor, leave the drama at the door. It doesn't matter who is right or wrong, for in
MY house, you will get along.
Sex #632303
Boys are like toys just because u sleep with it once doesn't mean its yours LOL :D
Christmas #634221
dear snow, you're a day late, Christmas was yesterday and now I don't want you so go away.
Annoyed #634692
Do not screw with me for when I decide to retaliate it will suck to be you.
Love #674416
there is a reason that GOD put me here and it was to be the aunt to my nieces and nephews.
Love hurts #650863
If I love you and you love me then what is the problem?
Stupid people #669635
Smart Person: who tried fudge. you dumbass!
Lyrics #656524
It ain't braggin' motherfucker if ya back it up
Friendship #651825
If You and I were arrested, comment below and tell me what we did to get arrested.
Crazy #672048
Sure, I talk to myself, and willingly admit it. It doesn't mean I'm crazy... just that I appreciate intelligent
conversations and know where to find one ;-)
Bitchy #628112
<======Yep thats right,the queen has arrived...now bow down...further... I said on your knees bitch!
Haters #640739
Haters don't really hate u, they hate themselves. U are a reflection of what they wish to be.
Humor #632208
Boy: hey dad I got a girlfriend Dad: good job son Girl: hey daddy I got a boyfriend Dad: *loads shotgun*
Work #641458
Here is a big Hell Yeah to all the hard working folks out there! If you work your butt off only to get
crapped on by your boss, this shout out is for you
Kids #677916
Ur children should always come first over ANY man/women in your life. If they don't you don't deserve
children
Boyfriend #660403
Looking back, the fear at the first "I love you" is completely worth the happiness you bring me now; I
wasn't sure how things would work out, but love prevails~
School #642282
How is it when ur in kindergarten u don't want to take a nap, but in all the schools above elementary u
would kill for 1?
Love #663578
Never think your ugly, it just means the person who said it isn't smart enough to see your true beauty
Weird #679830
what is the point in having Friends who are normal ?? it just isn't any fun
Love hurts #629898
always say what you mean...misleading someone and saying what they wanna hear only leads to
heartache...
Fun #664994
Old McDonald went to mars and then they went to Venus a shooting star went up their arse and
paralyzed penis ooh that's gotta hurt.
Crazy #674288
there are people I'd take a bullet for and there are people I'd like to put a bullet in!!
Humor #665782
Party at my house its right there, dude that's not your house, quiet you
Bedtime #654319
is gonna sign off Facebook & do this thing I hear that normal people do...it's called sleeping at night. I'll
let ya know if it works, but I'm not optimistic.
Best friends #631338
Being a best friend is not jumping off the bridge because your friend did. Its getting a boat and saving
them.
Funny #657148
It's gonna be awkward when Rhianna finds out they's not the only girl in the world ;)
Bitchy #639952
Happy bubble, Happy bubble, Happy... Hey No, Get out of my damn happy bubble bitch!
Bitchy #677925
Ur mum deserves a medal for not abandoning Ur sorry ass with that face when they first saw you
Insane random #667673
run the evil jelly beans are back!!!
Mixed #665103
OMG!No fucking way, your famous! I can't remember where i saw u from. But I'm so telling all of my
friends! >_> Donkey!
Pissed off #651579
If this is your way of pissing me off its working so FUCKING STOP !!
Happiness #687934
~past my eyes and beyond my dreams is the place where my soul sings~
Funny #650818
If i had to choose who to trust with my life it would be my Mother. My best friend and the best Mom in
the whole wild world
Love you #684662
You are a warm hug, a soft kiss, the perfect human pillow, super fun to be around, full of cute corny
moments, and the feeling of complete security. I Love You.
Bitchy #652942
If your bitchy and you know it clap your hand's! *clap clap*
Life #651619
if u don't like me then tell me. right now on here. if your brave enough
Funny #650219
I've decided today is the day I stop procrastinating. If not today then tomorrow, next week at the very
latest.
Friendship #659520
Life is difficult.Death is permanent.Tomorrow is a new day.Don't make a permanent decision to solve a
temporary problem..Take comfort in your friends and fam...
Mixed #626230
(insert your name) 's sarcastic attitude brought to you by the morons who can't, won't or don't use
common sense they were born with.
Family #628080
<3 Your smile made my week; your laugh made my month; your sweetness made my year; and your love
made my life!! <3 your my wonderful kids
Happy #639660
guess what girl: WHAT boy: HI
Life phrases #659386
Life can be extremely hard at times, people will lie, and back stab you. but always keep your head up,
smile (: and never let them know what hurts you the most.
Love you #666494
Post this if u have a mom that let you be your self and is always there to love you and have your
back.Post this to tell their how much they means to you!ILY MOM
Bitch #660329
look at my face then look at Ur's. yes that's write bitch I'm pretty YOUR NOT :)
Witty #649573
I'm not old; I'm perfectly seasoned! ;)
Angry #655389
is sick of people pissing me off then bitching when I retaliate! You have 2 choices people 1: don't piss me
off 2: deal with the consequences. choose carefully
Single #672439
Tempt me. I dare you!
Mixed #676728
to the girls that treat there men like shit if you dont start treatin em gud they will decide to get an
upgrade and not deal with you no more
Mixed #652040
If you didn't wanna play this game ... You shouldn't 've started it!
Humor #633678
Damn .. I misplaced my halo, oh well guess I'm a bitch today.,. lucky you! ;)
Tired #635865
Don't you just hate it when your tired but can't get your brain to stop racing long enough for you to pass
out?
Love #663375
Never change yourself for someone. Be what you are and let them love your original copy ;)!
Love #677346
truth is i think about you every second,of every minute,of every hour,of every day.
Boys #658856
knows a guy, that makes their feel like the only girl in the world and makes time slow down. these are
the guys that the world needs to love people who deserve it
Smile #635024
Doesn't mean tomorrow will be any better!
Truth #676696
to pretend you don't love someone if
Breakup #632381
Broken promises and empty words...time for me to let go...but I'm stronger then you give me credit for.
I'll bounce back...that I can promise you!!
Hate #626909
...hates liars, hypocrites, two-faced and judgmental people! I think that pretty much sums it up!
Lyrics #659355
Liar, liar, you fucking liar... The Used "liar liar"
Love you #687275
Your gentle caresses, your loving touch, your thoughtful ways they mean so much, hold me tight and
love me true for I am nothing without you... ~ Angelisa
Coffee #628871
A morning without coffee is like...hmmmm...I think it's better not to go down that road.
Inspirational #676572
To be there when they suddenly
Attitude #631391
Being an Asshole is easy... Being a Bitch with style is an art form!
Love #624421
" you wanted the world but i couldn't give it to you... and in the end you left"- Codi
Evil #654313
Is gonna kick ur arse so hard ull b farting from ur mouth
Bitch #668887
says: I might be a bitch but your fat AND ugly...I can always stop being a bitch...Your just screwed!
Life #629214
A wish is a desire without an attempt.
Life #633802
Dear Brain, I fucking hate you. If you and the rest of my body stopped working I really wouldn't mind. So
go right on ahead. Cause I can't do this anymore.
Love pain #660720
Love is like an onion: it has many layers, which add taste in your life, but if you try to cut it off it may
bring tears in your life.
Bitchy #677855
unless you want me to decapitate you i suggest you don't piss me off today or at any other point this
week.
Sleepy #687128
You've only got one Life and this is it! so make the most of it. Be the best you can be, make the most of
your opportunities and have some fun along the way!
Funny #655770
is thinking about running away with the purple hobo ninja cuz the pink banana wont talk 2 me no more
:( Retarded banana
Pissed off #668284
says it's all good when people mess with me and piss me off, but mess with the ones i love and the
gloves come off!
Funny #640493
has no reason's to complain, life is good. I thank God! It's been another beautiful sunny day. I feel really
blessed, & Loved, I wish for you the same.
Smile #672711
The best feeling in the world is seeing someone smile and knowing that you were the reason why.
Sad #669714
smiling doesn't always mean you're happy. sometimes it just means you're strong
God #674274
There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going. But God can help make it a little easier.
Best friends #686632
You smile I smile You laugh I laugh You die... I'll go to you're funeral.
Funny #653306
In the 80's we had Reagan in office. We also had Bob Hope and Johnny Cash. Now we have Obama in
office and we have no Hope and no Cash...
Bitchy #638872
girls wonder why we hate them lets see Ur ignorant Ur a bitch and um... i just don't like u
Attitude #678040
wait for it wait for it wait for it... yeah I still don't care!
Breakup #665320
One day you will realise how great I was, that I did love you and I would have done anything. That I was
worth it. That day will be too late.
Rednecks #632658
C. entered
Boys #673562
The only thing that's on my mind is u. It drives me crazy not knowing if u feel the same way or not. i just
want to be the one in Ur arms on that special night
Kids parents #664915
Okay kids have officially driven me nuts today. If you need me I will be in the corner of the rubber room
giving myself a great big hug in my pretty white coat!
Bitch #625945
& they's just a penguin's bitch
Christmas #661896
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good sex life!
Insane #669437
Signs of insanity. 1) You talk to yourself. 2) You talk back to yourself. 3) You argue with your self. 4) Lose
argument. 5) Ignore yourself.
Funny #648153
I will never own nor drive a mini van. I will never buy "mom" jeans.
Bored #633862
Dear Facebook... boob. That is all.
Fun #657055
It's bloody obvious I want them to come here. I'm not calling a bloody register!
Love #660248
Live.Laugh.Love. You will live for ever in my heart, i will never for get the laughs we shared, and i will
always love you!!! R.I.P
Funny #677980
Usually I'm my unusual self but today decided I would not do the usual and be unusual so I am being
usual which defeats the purpose since it's unusual for me
Monday #655524
is SO not ready for the week to start! Can't we just fast forward to Friday??
Mixed #678827
we all hav our likes and dislikes like a person wiv a girl like voice ... no its not justin bieber its my best
mate
Funny #650366
Id love walking around in stores singing F YOU! AND people look at me crazy. ha-ha haven't tried that
yet tell me how it goes :)
Break ups #663543
Never regret the choice you made,because the choice you made you made for a reason and everything
happens for a reason
Mixed #649426
I'm not awake, but my body is... apparently, per John Mayer, its a wonderland too... must be why its
awake... the roller coaster is shaky!
Bedtime #654156
is going to a place where I'm skinny, rich and can beat the living daylights out of anyone that messes
with me! Night, night!
Funny #642311
how many ppl would actually remember your birthday if Facebook didn't tell them
Work sarcasm #684932
You can call this the place we work...But I prefer to call it Hell with fluorescent lighting!

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