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Note: Please copy the student information carefully from their completed paper PT3 form. Please ensure that you
return two copies of the completed PT3 together with the marked assignment


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own work. I acknowledge that the University uses plagiarism detection hard copy version of their PT3
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This essay demonstrates that you have a clear understanding of the issues outlined and also shows
potential for further development. I shall outline some of the strengths and also areas where you can
make further improvements.

I would strongly recommend now that you have had time and space from submitting this work that you
read it through again and ask yourself how a person unconnected with the course might see it.

1. Presentation:
Your lay out is generally good though do be careful to be consistent in your paragraph spacing.
Your essay contains a good mixture of quotes and authorities however there are a number of
times when you quote or mention work and this has not been included in the reference section.
Please take care to always include your sources in the text and in the reference section.
It strengthens your argument if you can support it with authorities drawn from a range of
sources, overreliance on one source can weaken the overall impression.

2. Structure:
On the whole your essay flows through from introduction to outlining the problem and then
looking for possible solutions and onto your conclusions.

Electronic PT3 form - EPT3 1/07

A more detailed introduction would have helped give the structure a clearer map for the reader
to navigate through your essay. More detailed planning for your next assignment will give you a
firmer basis for your work.

3. Content:
I found your use of Jim and Marianne’s journey through the system as being an imaginative
approach and you managed to include many of the difficulties experienced in accessing
services. You do sometimes however present opinions as fact. It would be important in future to
differentiate the two. It would also be good to direct your argument using fewer more focussed
points rather than what at times felt like a scattergun approach. Here again detailed planning
prior to starting the essay would help improve things.

Please read your annotated essay carefully and use the points above and the comments in your essay
to improve your next piece of work. If you wish to discuss any of the comments please do so either
through the tutorial site or if you would find that too difficult e-mail me.


In preparing for this part of the exercise I have drawn on the work of Nicol and Macfarlane-Dick (2006)
in which they outline 7 principles of good feedback practice. I found this work very in tune with my own
ideas. I have tried to limit the amount of criticism and given a balance of positive areas and areas of
potential development. I have tried to adopt a positive tone and restrict the number of areas to 3
(Lunsford 1997 in Nicol and Macfarlane-Dick, 2006). I would of course need to work with colleagues to
develop a fair and equitable marking scheme and rubric to measure these assignments by.

Lunsford, R. (1997) When less is more: principles for responding in the disciplines, in: M.
Sorcinelli & P. Elbow (Eds) Writing to learn: strategies for assigning and responding to writing
across the disciplines (San Francisco, CA, Jossey-Bass).

Nicol, D. and Macfarlane-DickD (2006). Formative assessment and self-regulated learning: a model
and seven principles of good feedback practice.
Website http://www.reap.ac.uk/public/Papers/DN_SHE_Final.pdf Accessed 20/08/10

Electronic PT3 form - EPT3 1/07