Annalisa 1

Annalisa Pena

Mr. Janosch

12/ 2/ 2015

Class 3

Domestic Violence

He grew red with anger when she disobeyed him again. With his blood boiling and hands

hot with enmity he tried to kill her. “Roia was hospitalised for three months after her then

husband doused her in turpentine and set her on fire. She suffered horrific injuries-” (Melissa

Davey). Rioa was married at age 14 in Afghanistan. Her husband verbally abused her for years

and started physically abusing her after their first child. She didn’t leave sooner because she

didn’t think anyone would care. “Every 9 seconds in the US, a woman is assaulted or beaten”

and “... 1 in 4 men have been victims of [some form of] physical violence by an intimate partner

within their lifetime” (NCADV). Domestic violence is a worldwide dilemma that affects people

of all genders, races, sexuality, social class and age. Domestic violence is more than just bruises

and scrapes on a person, it's a form of cruel manipulation that ruins the victim inside and out.

So, first things first, what is domestic violence? According to Justice.gov, domestic

violence is ¨a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain

or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.¨ Domestic violence is a cruel and

brutal form of manipulation. The abuser manipulates their partner into doing things that they

don't want to do. This could be things like staying in the relationship, losing contact with loved

ones or performing sexual favors. Domestic violence isn't just physical abuse, it could be

emotional, sexual, psychological and/or economical abuse. This form of manipulation is

effective because it plays with the victim's trust and isolates them. The victims feel as if there is
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no way out of the situation due to fear of their partner. This form of manipulation combines

bullying and peer pressure.

One of the first thing people speculate when they hear about these horrible stories of

domestic abuse is, what is going on in the abusers head? There are numerous things that

contribute to the abuser hurting their victim. “Some abusers learned to abuse from their parents.

Their early history consisted of receiving abuse themselves and/or seeing others abused”

(Kathryn Patricelli). In other words, if the abuser grew up in an abusive household or in a violent

environment, they can turn into an abuser because that's all they know. In other cases, “Abusive

behavior can also result from mental health issues or disorders. For example, someone with

anger management issues, a diagnosis of intermittent explosive disorder, or a drinking or drug

problem may easily get out of control during arguments” (Kathryn Patricelli). It is especially

common for people with drinking problems or drug abuse to be violent towards their partner or

child. “Abusers who treat people in this manner are very likely psychologically ill, and possibly

medically ill as well. They may have an antisocial (sociopathic, psychopathic) or narcissistic

personality disorder, and they may have anger or impulse control issues and substance abuse

issues on top of that!” (Kathryn Patricelli). Therefore, there are so many components that can go

into why the abuser abuse. Regardless of why the abuser damages their victim, it is still a cruel

crime that the perpetrator needs to be held accountable for.

Now that you know what’s going on in the abusers head, what's happening to the victim?

You may be surprised by that fact that sometimes the victim gets arrested instead of the abuser.

The victim's word will often not be trusted if the abuser is a trusted person by the public, like a

cop or government employee. This type of manipulation teares the victim apart from the inside

out. It’s no surprise that domestic violence damages the victim severely if the case is very bad.
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Some effects of domestic violence could be, PTSD, depression, and/or dissociation. According to

joyfufoundation.org PTSD or Post Tramatic Stress Disorder is “is a mental health condition that

is triggered by a terrifying event.” The website also mentions that “Some common symptoms

associated with PTSD are flashbacks, nightmares, severe anxiety and uncontrollable thoughts

about the event.” PTSD can make a person so terrified, unexplainably scared and that is a cruel

thing to do to a person. Depression can also result from domestic violence, like I mentioned.

Depression is “is more than common feelings of temporary sadness.” Symptoms can be

“prolonged sadness, feelings of hopelessness, unexplained crying, changes in appetite with

significant weight loss or gain, loss of energy or loss of interest and pleasure in activities

previously enjoyed.” (Joyfufoundation.org). Lastly, dissociation, which is “feeling like one has

“checked out” or is not present. In some instances of dissociation, people may find themselves

daydreaming … more complex it may impair an individual's ability … to focus on work related

duties or being able to concentrate on schoolwork.” (Joyfoundation.org). This is a serious

problem that can cause scars deeper than flesh wounds.

“1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been victims of [some form of] physical violence by

an intimate partner within their lifetime” (NCADV). If you don’t want to be that statistic, you

can avoid this. For example, if you suspect any unusual behavior in your partner break it off. If

you decide to stay and he/she hurts you then you have a few options. One, you can file a

restraining order which is “a legal injunction that is often requested in order to help people to

obtain protection” (yourdictionary.com). This will keep the abuser far, far away from you and if

they come to you then they’ll be arrested on the spot. Another option, is to call the police of

course. This immediately can eliminate the problem and get the abuser arrested. These two

options can go hand and hand. Get the abuser arrested then get a restraining order against them.
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So many cases can be avoided this way. For example, in Shakespeare's “Othello” when othello

hit desdemona in front of a few people, if the witnesses or desdemona herself called the police

than nothing further would have happened. There are ways to get out of this and avoid the key is

building enough courage and strength to do it.

In conclusion, domestic violence is a abominable form of manipulation. What’s even

worse is that it is fairly common and most cases don’t even get reported. What you should take

away from this essay is that domestic violence is an issue that needs to be treated with as much

respect as any other crime. If you are a victim speak up and if you are an abuser, you deserve to

face the consequences of your actions. Domestic violence is more than just bruises and scrapes

on a person, it's a form of cruel manipulation that ruins the victim inside and out.
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Sources:

1. "National Statistics." Ncadv.gov. NCADV. Web. 29 Nov. 2015.

<http://www.ncadv.org/learn/statistics>.

2. Davy, Melissa. "The Most Dangerous Time." Theguardian.com. Web.

<http://www.theguardian.com/society/ng-interactive/2015/jun/02/domestic-violence-five-

women-tell-their-stories-of-leaving-the-most-dangerous-time>. waaaa

3. "Domestic Violence." Justice.gov. The United States Department of Justice. Web.

<http://www.justice.gov/ovw/domestic-violence>.

4. "Effects of Domestic Violence." Joyfulheartfoundation.org/. The Joyful Heart

Foundation. Web. <http://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/learn/domestic-

violence/effects-domestic-violence>.

5. "Restraining Order." Yourdictionary.com. Wiley Publishing, Inc. Web.

<http://www.yourdictionary.com/restraining-order>.