Waking Up White: A Starting Point for Racial Reconciliation

When Senior Annamarie Lively walks across campus, she doesn’t have to worry about

inadvertent side glances. When Lively drives to church on Sunday mornings, she doesn’t have to

worry about being pulled over by a cop who racially profiles people like her. When Lively talks

to her grandparents, she doesn’t hear about heartache caused by lynchings. When Lively wakes

up every morning and looks in the mirror, she realizes all of the privileges that come with

waking up white.

As the PR person for BSU, Lively is able to act as a bridge between students of different

races at Messiah. Because of this, she knew something had to be done when white members of

BSU constantly asked questions regarding how to strike up conversations of race with close

friends and family. Her brain began to spin as she thought, if so many students in BSU are

voicing these concerns, what about the students outside of the club? Soon after this realization,

talks of the “Waking Up White” event began.

According to a study done by College Factual, 82.4 percent of Messiah’s student body

identifies as white; this percentage ranks Messiah as 2,209 out of 2,718 schools in terms of

diversity. When considering these numbers, racial reconciliation on this campus is difficult

without the involvement of white students. With this in mind, the minorities of BSU worked

through details of how to approach “Waking Up White”. Lively envisioned the event as a space

for healthy and productive conversation, and she said that her biggest hope is that, “the Messiah

body becomes more unified.”

With the help of SAB and SGA, BSU hosted “Waking Up White” on Wednesday

evening in Hostetter Chapel. The clubs designed the event to be a discussion starter for white
students centered around conversations of racism and privilege, which tend to be taboo subjects

in today’s society and around campus at Messiah.

Junior Michael Caswell, a minority member of BSU, opened the event by sharing that he

has witnessed some of his closest friends experience racism, even on our campus. “Ignorance is

everywhere,” Caswell said.

The night began with a simulation. Caswell handed me a red playing card, and Lively

spoke into a microphone, telling us not to view our own cards. Instead we had to place our card

on our forehead and walk around the room. Each time I passed someone with a two card, I had to

ignore them. One girl said hello to me, and I couldn’t return her friendly greeting. I continued to

avert my eyes until I found a man with an Ace held up against his forehead. I extended my hand,

gave him a handshake and said a quick greeting. I felt a sense of relief when he said hello back;

maybe I had a face card, too.

A boy with a King quickly diminished that dream. I walked up with new-found

confidence after my previous meeting. I had a big smile plastered across my face, and he

returned my salutation by scoffing before he said, “You’re close.” With those two words, he

popped my pride like a balloon. When the simulation came to a close, I was convinced that I

received a larger numbered card.

A buzz filled the room as Lively instructed everyone to flip their cards over. People

leaned in to talk to their friends, and said, “I knew it,” or, “I thought I had a higher card.” I held a

10, and I felt content. Sure, it wasn’t a face card, but at least it wasn’t a two.

A hush fell over the crowd as Lively commanded everyone’s attention. She informed us

that the event would transition into a time for small group discussion. Groups were formed based

on the cards we received during the simulation to make everything random. I sat in a group of
about ten students. I recognized a few, but the close friends I attended the event with were not in

my group. The leaders did that deliberately. They wanted student to talk with people they

wouldn’t normally talk with about a topic that they wouldn’t normally talk about. It was

uncomfortable, but it was necessary.

My group’s leader, Kelly Shea, directed questions regarding where we see racism, and

how we react to it. The groups were designed to be safe spaces for students to share their

experiences and ask questions. Sophomore Jordan Sponsler asked a question that ended up being

the centerpiece of discussion for my group: “How do we talk about racism with our

grandparents, who grew up in a time in which racism was more widely accepted?” Good

question. We all fell silent, and I swear I saw smoke coming out of some people’s ears as the

wheels in their minds began turning. After a few moments of silence, Shea said, “A practical tool

is to ask questions.” She continued by saying that if we don’t understand where someone’s at, we

won’t know where to start. Panelist Adam Barone further explained by saying that one can

appeal to people’s interests when trying to change their minds.

As the chatter began to die down, Lively took to the podium again. She said that we

would be transitioning into a time for groups to share the direction of their conversation with

everyone in attendance. Once the last group finished, we were granted a short break.

A panel discussion closed the event with representatives from BSU, SAB and SGA.

Junior Toby Doyle acted as a mediator for the event, posing questions to panelists Annamarie

Lively, Kelly Shea, Paula Holtzinger, Megan Eaton, Jenny Wooley and Adam Barone.

Doyle didn’t ease into the questions. Right away she asked how students can start the

process of racial reconciliation. Shea encouraged students to venture outside of their usual
cliques. Not only this, Holtzinger said to speak out about racial injustice in white circles. “If you

don’t speak out, nobody will,” Barone said.

Speaking up isn’t the only way to fix the issue. “One way to combat racism in your inner

circle is through your lifestyle,” Lively said. Eaton agreed with this, urging white students to get

involved with multicultural clubs, which meet bi-weekly. She shared her first experience going

to BSU. She walked in expecting people to come up and talk to her, but they didn’t. “It’s gonna

be hard,” Eaton said. “You’re going to feel like a minority, but that’s okay.” Over time, Eaton

broke out of her shell, and she began interacting more with other BSU members. Wooley added

to this, and said that before coming to these events, students need to recognize their own biases.

Those involved designed “Waking Up White” to be an opportunity for students to begin

to recognize their biases, but Barone said, “Your starting place doesn’t have to be a

conversation.” He encouraged students to read books and articles, or they can listen to TED

talks. Holtzinger urged students to follow Barone’s advice. She said, “Educate yourself. Don’t

put that on people of color.”

The panel allowed for anonymous audience questions, which prompted conversation

about white students feeling as though they get blamed for things that happened in the past, and

that colored students receive better financial aid based on their race. When answering the first

point, Shea added an insightful comment when she said, “if someone is hurting over something

that happened 60 plus years ago, I can be apologetic over something that happened 60 plus years

ago.” Barone agreed, and he also answered the second question by saying, “I don’t think you

have to feel guilty for being born white,” but he countered, and said that it comes from a place a

privilege when white students assume that students of other races receive hand-outs.
 The question centered around financial aid described a student with parents who had been

unemployed for three years. This student explained that finding financial aid is difficult, and it

feels even harder when society assumes that, because the family is white, they have money.

Hoping to reassure the student, Lively said, “We’re not saying that being white means having a

perfect life.” Holtzinger explained that while race and class do have interplay, they are different

categories. While this point didn’t feel like a solid point of closure for the panel discussion, it

had to be; the event was going over 30 minutes past the scheduled ending time. The open-ended

closing to the event left attendees craving more conversation.

Jordan Sponsler looks like your all-American white male. Honestly, he’s the last type of

person I would have expected to attend the event. He explained that he came because he has

become more interested in the topic of racial reconciliation. Overall, he just wants to become

more worldly. As the event began, he was confused by the lack of colored people, not initially

realizing that the event was strongly recommended for only white students. He found the

discussion centered around the N-word to be enlightening. “I began to realize that [people of

different races] don’t share the same experiences,” Sponsler said. “Because of that, [white

students] need to understand their limitations.”

Those involved agree that the event is an important step for our campus. Wooley

explained that, at a Christian college, people tend to shy away from tough topics like racism and

privilege, but she countered when she said, “How are we going to create change if we don’t talk

about it?”
 Critique

The hook ended up being the last thing I wrote for this story. I went back and forth trying

to decide how I wanted to grab the readers’ attention. Because the title of the event is so

powerful, I knew that I wanted to tie it in somehow to the hook. When I first wrote this story, it

was for the Pulse online. Because they desire a hard news story, and because my word count was

much more limited, my lead jumped right into the event. I knew that I would be able to play

around a bit more with this feature. I finally decided to use Annamarie Lively as my centerpiece

for the hook, because her passion for this event and racial reconciliation clearly showed during

my interview with her. I hope that the hook gets the reader thinking about the racism and

privilege that is still evident in today’s society.

The main idea of this story is covering the “Waking Up White” event. Due to the content

of this event, the article also centers on racial reconciliation. This idea is shown in the second

paragraph of the story. I used the third paragraph as the transition point. In order to transition, I

used a study I found by College Factual that gave statistics on diversity at Messiah College.

These statistics, along with their implications transition into the body of my story, which starts at

the very beginning of the event.

When writing this story, I knew that I wanted to follow the event chronologically. This

works out nicely, because the highest point of the event was the panel discussion. Lively set up

the event in such a way that it follows a sort of crescendo. The simulation introduces us to the

ideas that the rest of the event – and the article – will be talking about. As the article flows from

the small group and large group discussions to the panel, the ideas and quotes become deeper

and more thought-provoking.

 My hope for this story is that it will give readers an idea of what the “Waking Up White”

event was like. I also hope that it will spark similar conversations to those had during the event. I

knew early on that I wanted to use Wooley’s rhetorical question as the closing for the article. I

want to leave the readers thinking. When thinking about bringing the article full circle, I

considered that I should have went back to Lively’s narrative from the hook. I realized, however,

that the hook and conclusion still tie together thematically. I intended the hook to leave the

reader wanting more; I wanted them to think, there’s something wrong here, and I want to fix it.

With Wooley’s closing quote, she comes back to the same idea of wanting to fix what is wrong,

and explaining that change doesn’t come from silence and ignorance.