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COMPETENCIES
THE
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Color Your Future are the intellectual property of the author, Taylor Hartman, PhD.
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What you have learned to this point gives solid foundation for the
charactering process. To become fully charactered you will need to
demonstrate proficiency in six basic competencies: clean up motives;
value self; seek truth; discover balance, focus commitments and serve
others.
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Value
Self
Serve Seek
Others Truth
The
Charactering
Process
Focus
Commit- Clean
ments Motives
Discover
Balance
1. Value Self means appreciation of your own gifts. This skill comes
most naturally to Yellows.
2. Seek Truth requires you to confront whatever facts will enable
you to see yourself as others see you.
3. Clean Your Motives is to acknowledge what motivates your
choices. Are you motivated to create win/win results in your
relationships or do more often seek win/lose, lose/lose, or lose,
win?
4. Discover Balance helps you recognize your priorities and assists in
assuring they are balanced. This is most natural for Whites.
5. Focus Commitments is a way to decide on which priority to focus.
You will not easily be pulled off into distractions when you
establish what is most important. This is most natural for Reds.
6. Serve Others means just that. Share your many gifts to ease the
burdens of others. This is most natural for Blues.
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Just as each of us come pre-packaged with a set of strengths
and limitations, we also come with a natural propensity for
some competencies, and a natural struggle to achieve the other
competencies. Being naturally adept at any of these competencies
does not mean there is no work to do in that area!
As you study these six competencies, you are likely to note parts
of each skill you have already have achieved. There will be other
dimensions of each in which you will be weak. As mentioned, there
are no shortcuts to become charactered and there are no developing
these competencies. The competencies are formed into a circle to
remind you that this is an ongoing process. You will find yourself
revisiting these competencies repeatedly as you work through new
personal and professional growth challenges. Each time life poses a
new challenge, or each time that your life circumstances change, you
will feel the need to review these competencies.
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Self Esteem and Self Confidence
The terms self-esteem and self-confidence are often used inter-
changeably but they are distinct gifts and integral to developing
character.
Each color can have difficulty when it comes to truly developing self-
esteem and self-confidence.
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Reds, conversely, believe that having confidence in their own abilities
is enough to achieve. They equate self-confidence with self-esteem.
This belief allows them to hide their lack of self-esteem and minimize
its importance.
Blues sometimes fall into the trap of being a victim or martyr. They
rely heavily on the opinion of others to determine their worth.
Self-doubt bars them from developing either self-esteem or self-
confidence.
Reds, with their core Motive of Power, tend to value themselves based
on their productivity. Their worth is reflected in their success.
Blues, with their core Motive of Intimacy, struggle to value self with
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the belief they can never measure up to their own high standards.
They often depend on the express appreciation of others to feel
valued.
Whites, with their Motive of Peace, often pay a high personal price
in order to preserve a peaceful atmosphere and feel comfortable. They
must learn to value themselves to speak up and share their thoughts
and ideas.
Yellows, with their core Motive of Fun, have the most natural ability
to value self. They truly like themselves simply because they breathe.
People who profess to be highly self aware, are often unaware of their
impact on others. When a person values self, a sincere interest in
others accompanies the trait. They want to know how others perceive
them in order to improve relationships. One of the most difficult
and, yet, instructive exercises you can do is ask for feedback from
those around you on how they see your strengths and weaknesses.
The insights gained can create an invaluable dialogue that can
support change.
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One sure sign that a person truly values him or herself is their ability
to take 100% responsibility. They understand and accept that each of
us is 100% responsible for the nature of our relationships. Those that
don’t value self find ways to blame others for flawed relationships. It
is much easier to focus on the behavior of the other party to explain
the issue. For example, if he would just communicate more clearly, I
would know how to move forward on this report.
Those who value themselves, do not blame or feel like victims. They
willingly admit they are wrong and understand that the relationship
is more important than being right. The concept of being 100%
responsible is critical to valuing self.
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Universal Truth: Healthy bodies are physically fit.
The process of looking in the mirror and seeing what others see can
be painful but also very instructive. Embracing flawed perceptions
only proves to promote defective habits and facilitate the persistence
of detrimental behaviors. The result of flawed perceptions is the
status quo. Nothing improves. On the other hand, the discovery and
acceptance of the truth about ourselves is an opportunity to shift
our personal paradigm to more accurately reflect truth. That reality,
or truth, can set us on a path of building character and receiving
the satisfaction that comes from lifelong learning and progression.
Figuratively speaking, we can either lose weight to become a size
small or live happily wearing a size large.
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Perception Reality
This idea of seeing with new eyes often means beginning with the
development of new attitudes about others and ourselves.
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thoughts, feelings, and actions with their commitments to create
legitimacy.
• People who are congruent live and behave according to what
they truly value, and according to their core Motive.
• If you are not aligned, you create competing forces within
yourself. The lack of congruency sends ineffective and mixed
messages.
In the search for truth, there are those who have to face the fact
they are a different core motive than they previously thought or
wanted to be. Often, personality filters sometimes block a person
from recognizing his or her core Motive. This can happen when
the strengths of their driving core motive are not valued in a key
environment or relationship. Here are a few of those filters:
• Other colors are more valued by a parent
• Child abuse
• Major medical conditions
• Authoritarian parent
• Low self-esteem
• Dominant religious beliefs
• Significant secondary color is more valued
• Moving a lot as a child
If your core color doesn’t seem to fit it is likely due to one of these
filters or another not listed here. Another possibility for a disguised
core motive is a strong secondary color. We cannot change what we
cannot see. We cannot change what we have not identified. A person
who refuses to accept unpleasant truths will eventually pay a serious
price, personally and professionally. A fuller life awaits those who will
see themselves more accurately and make adjustments where needed.
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Confronting the Brutal Facts
Jim Collins, in his book, Good to Great, addressed the importance of
confronting brutal facts. We can confront the harsh realities about
ourselves and make the painful, seemingly risky adjustments for
greater success and character or dismiss those facts and maintain our
status quo with the same results as always.
The idea of brutal facts can conjure very negative images and the
response can be fight—with defensiveness or flight--with denial.
However, the brutal facts are simply terms meaning to dig deeply for
honest answers and use that information in a constructive way.
Avoiding Truth
There is a strong temptation to focus on the performance of others
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and see where they need to improve. It is a quick, easy way to keep
the attention off of our own need for improvement and is best aided
by the twins: deception and denial.
Each Motive type has the potential, in his or her innate limitations,
to avoid seeing the truth, or to manipulate situations to his or her
own favor, as part of the pattern of deception and denial .
Reds can avoid seeing or grasping the truth when they are wrapped
up in their need to be right. Their need to be right can quickly
exclude other points of view, and creates a dynamic of “I am right,
therefore you are wrong.” Reds’ need to hide insecurities tightly can
prevent them seeking feedback from others.
Blues readily accept difficult truths about themselves because they are
already self-critical naturally. The challenge comes in what they do
with the information after they receive it. They must use the feedback
constructively or they can be overwhelmed and immobilized by their
limitations.
Yellows naturally avoid facing facts. They so easily like who they are
that it is particularly difficult to hear there is ‘trouble in paradise.’
Yellows too often think that others will forgive their limitations
because they are so charming.
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Serve Focus Discover Clean Value Seek
Others Commit- Balance Motives Self Truth
ments
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In short, Clean motives benefit everyone. Dirty motives always
benefit one party over another.
Lose/Win means that one party chooses to lose enabling the other
party to win. This is most natural to Blues. Out of genuine concern,
they will often sacrifice or sublimate their own needs for the sake
another. However, if a Blue feels taken for granted or, similarly,
taken advantage of, the Lose/Win backfires. The Blue can fall into a
martyr mindset very quickly. Resentment builds as the Blue feels they
are always giving and no one returns the depth of concern evidenced
in self-sacrifice. When a Blue suffers a perceived wrong, unforgiving
Blue can punish the other party indefinitely.
Lose/Lose means that if one can’t win, they will make sure the other
party doesn’t win either. Lose/Lose is most natural to Whites. At
their worst, Whites can set up this result by refusing to engage. The
White may want to avoid conflict or that refusal to engage could be
their form of retribution for past offenses. Whatever the cause, their
capacity for stubborn silence can be a substantial stumbling block to
achieving resolve in any direction. The White loses in this scenario
but so does the other party.
Win/Lose means that through one’s actions, one party will win at
the expense of another party. Most natural to Reds and Yellows, win/
lose is based in similar limitations: selfishness and self-centeredness,
respectively. Reds can be arrogant, selfish and competitive so will win
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at any price. Yellows are sometimes vain and self-centered so they
don’t see what harm there is in things going their way. Both colors
assume that the other party has an equal opportunity to manipulate
the situation for their purposes. If the Red or Yellow is better at it,
whose fault is that?
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someone’s reaction, to hide an insecurity or to satisfy a selfish need,
then it is not a clean motive.
Step 1—Own It. Be honest with yourself about what is driving your
choices and interactions. Ask yourself “How are the strengths and
limitations of my core motive affecting my decision and what are the
consequences?’ Whether it is clean or dirty, be 100% accountable for
your motives.
Step 3—Recognize that you can’t change what you can’t see. Seek out
the perceptions and opinions of others about you. Be humble enough
to hear these truths, even if they hurt at the time.
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Step 4—Replace a dirty motive with a new clean motive. It’s time for
the rubber to hit the road. No more theory. Keep in mind dirty
motives are reactive. Clean motives are proactive. You should be
exploring win/win options. Take time to describe what a clean motive
would look like in the particular situation. What options are available
to you? How can you reframe your thinking?
Step 5—DO IT. Write specific goals. Review them and build in an
accountability system: find someone to be your police officer, use
a journal tracking system, use a coach, actively seek feedback. The
process of changing one’s motives, of re-aligning one’s life to a clean
motive requires commitment and accountability to be successful.
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Serve Focus Discover Clean Value Seek
Others Commit- Balance Motives Self Truth
ments
Just as each color has its own definition of balance, so does each have
their individual challenges to achieve balance? The following provide
insights into each color’s challenge with balance.
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A Red who insists on productivity to the exclusion of relationships
and/or time for reflection may wake up one day to realize the
only thing he/she is valued or known for is the work he/she was
responsible for. What happens at retirement when there is no more
business projects awaiting you? What if you are incapacitated and can
no longer work, what will fill the void? Where will find your self-
worth?
Blues for whom in-depth relationships are critical must take care to
not become overly involved in or focused on the difficulties others
face. The danger is that the time spent on those relationships can
come at the expense of productivity. Or a Blue may become overly
concerned with details in an effort to ensure quality and lose sight of
a deadline.
Yellows are very good at living in the moment but they must find
balance against the need for effective planning and goal setting to
ensure that, in the end, they meet expectations over the long haul
and deliver the final product.
Work/Life Balance
Understand that work/life balance does not mean equally balanced.
There is no one-size-fits-all prescription for creating effective work-
life balance. It is a personal definition and varies over time, as your
life circumstances change. The right balance for you today will likely
be different for you tomorrow, if you start over in a new career, if you
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get more education, if you marry, if you have children, or when you
are closing in on retirement.
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Each color has a different connection to these sentiments:
Reds are typically willing to take risks. Likewise, their natural gift for
vision and focus on productivity help ensure a lasting legacy. They
must be careful the legacy is balanced between accomplishments and
relationships
Yellows share with Reds in that they too will not have the regret of
not having risked enough in their lifetime. By their nature, they
willing accept and take risks.
From your current perspective, which of these regrets are you most
likely to have? Is your current life consistent with your priorities? Life
is made up of moments in the present, not past losses or future goals.
If we are not clear about our values and what we are all about, we
may discover too late that we missed the mark.
Another balance check is to find out what are the if – only statements
that you make. Or “When things aren’t so crazy I will…” Or
“Remember when we played tennis together?” What do these
statements tell you about your life in the moment? What are you
willing to change to make the if – only statements become realities?
Are your if – only statements restricting you in your expectations and
acceptance in life? For example, “If only my supervisor would express
more appreciation for my contributions to the team. . .well, he/she
doesn’t. Can I change that? No. Can I accept it? Yes.
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Your life balance is about where you put your energies, what
consumes you whether it is good or bad.
Like water dripping on a stone, our daily choices carve the legacy of
our lives. The way we spend our time and energy will determine the
balance we create in our lives. Tremendous energy and significant
lives are wasted simply because they don’t stop to reflect on the
alignment between priorities and behavior.
Listen for those times that you find yourself expressing “if only”,
or “life would be perfect if…” Those statements are your clue that
something is missing, or out of place in your current picture of life.
The concept of 100 % responsibility teaches that you get what you
deserve. If your life is out of balance, you created it. But you also
have the power to bring it back into balance. Rebalancing may mean
letting go of some things to make way for others that are more in
keeping with the overall balance you want in life.
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Serve Focus Discover Clean Value Seek
Others Commit- Balance Motives Self Trut
ments
They agreed that, yes, it was. The professor then picked up a box
of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up
everything else. Finally, the professor poured whatever water would
fit in the jar. “Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that
this is your life.
“The rocks are the most important things in your life – your health,
your family, your children, your friends – anything that is so
important to you that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed.
The pebbles are the other things in life that matter, but on a smaller
scale. The pebbles represent things that you make time for each day,
like your job, house, or car The sand symbolizes the things we want
to make time for, hobbies, sports, education etc. Water represents
everything else you may want in your life.
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“If you put the sand, pebbles or water into the jar first, there is
no room for the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend
all your energy and time on the small stuff – you will never have
room for the things that are truly most important.” What is the
cost if you continue to put the sand in your jar first? To live a great
life and become charactered, it is necessary for you to focus your
commitments.
Both of these words, focus and commitments are important for your
journey to become charactered. Don’t let your good effort to this
point be wasted with a lack of focus and commitment to action!
Focusing your commitments is the ability to move from insight to
action. Reds have it easy with this competency, being naturally adept
at both focus and commitments.
As people become more self aware and are more informed about the
charactering process, there is a huge tendency to want a complete
overhaul of their lives. It is analogous to remodeling a home. Rather
than try to overhaul the whole house simultaneously, it is advisable to
prioritize your projects and select one room you will start with. You
then develop a sense of how you want the new room to look, to feel,
how it will be used, and what overall value it will add to your home.
It is exciting to capture your dreams on paper
The real work of the remodeling project begins when you start
putting the specific details into place, realizing the cost of the project,
and identifying the step-by-step approach that will need to happen,
so that you can continue living in your house, while also carrying
out the remodeling work. Even at this stage, your dreams are still on
paper.
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The reality of the new room starts to take form the moment you sign
the loan papers and tear down the first wall!
Commit to Yourself
Commitment to self is not selfish or self centered. Rather,
commitment to self is a dedication to your own priorities. A refusal
to allow the pebbles to go in the jar first. Reds most naturally
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understand the importance of committing to themselves. They make
plans and set goals like a duck takes to water. Reds recognize that
the best defense in life is a great offense. They will not be denied an
opportunity to passionately pursue their commitments in life.
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the sun will rise in the morning and that a charactered friend will not
change his heart and reveal a shared confidence.
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a position, or a question, or an opinion.” To show uncommon
persistence requires an uncommon cause. There is no greater cause
than serving others. That service is worth a total commitment to be
more charactered.
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most meaningful contribution can be given only after stretching to
embrace the strengths of the other colors. It matters little what your
life has been. It matters a great deal what it will become. As with
those committed individuals who have gone before you, you will
become less concerned with others’ permission to take a chance, and
more enticed by your opportunities to serve.
Sharing Gifts
You can’t change without developing patience, especially patience
with yourself. You have to allow yourself time to grow. The
encouragement and advice of others is vital to this process of change.
If you insist on trying to make these changes alone you are much
more likely to fail.
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Each color has unique needs as well as gifts that can be offered to
others. As you look over this chart, consider ways your innate motive
can best serve and be served by others.
Summary
The beauty of developing character is that, although it requires
individual introspection, the results of that growth have far reaching
consequences to teams and organizations. Everything we have
discussed to this point and every step of the process to become
charactered can be done in teams, as well as individually. Just imagine
how much your organization could improve if every team member
were committed to developing character!
Nothing of value comes easily. As you face your own flaws and
take responsibility for minimizing them, you will have newfound
confidence and capacity. Your relationships, both business and
personal, will improve and your potential as a leader will be
enhanced. Life, after all, is about relationships. The challenge is to
make them as rewarding as possible.
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