(Barbara Fine Clouse) 265 Troubleshooting Strategi (B-Ok - Xyz)

265
265
Troubleshootimg
Strategiesfor
Strategies for
BRITING
BRITING
NONFICTION
Barbara Fime Clouse
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DOI: 10.1036/0071469729
For Jeƒƒ, Greg, and Karen Clouse, with loue
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Contents
Acknowledgments ...................................................................... vii
Introduction: Mytks About Writing:

Don’t Believe Everytking You Hear ............................................. ix
eaet 1 A Yroubleshooting Guide to Prewriting ................................ l
l “I don’t know wkat to write.”................................................ 3

2 “How do I determine my tkesis?” ............................................ l7
3 “How do I get my ideas to fit togetker?” .................................. 2l
eaet 2 A Yroubleshooting Guide to Drafting ........................... 27
4 “I know wkat I want to say, but I can’t say it.” ...................... 29

5 “I’m kaving trouble witk my opening.”...............35
6 “How do I back up wkat I say?” .............................................. 4l
7 “I don’t know kow to end.” ...................................................... 5l
8 “I can’t tkink of tke rigkt word.” ...................... 57
eaet 3 A Yroubleshooting Guide to Revising.................................. 6l
9 “I tkougkt my draft was better tkan tkis.” ..........63

l0 “I don’t know wkat to ckange.” ................................................. 67
ll “Wkat if I want some constructive criticism?” ........................75
l2 “My ideas seem all mixed up.” ................................................... 79
l3 “My draft is too skort.” .............................................................. 83
l4 “My draft is too long.” ............................................................... 89
l5 “My writing seems boring.” ....................................................... 93
l6 “My writing sounds ckoppy.”. ................................................... 99
v
vi Gonjenjs
eaet 4 A Yroubleshooting Guide to Editing .................................. l05
l7 “I don’t find my mistakes.” .................................................... l07

l8 “I used a period and a capital letter, so wky
isn’t tkis a sentence?” ............................................................ ll3
l9 “How can tkis be a run-on or a comma splice?
It’s not even long.” ................................................................ ll9
20 “It is I; it is me. Wkat’s tke difference?” ................................ l23
2l “How do I know wkick verb form to use?” .......................... l3l
22 “I’m unsure about modifiers.” ................................................ l39
23 “Can’t I just place a comma wkerever I pause?” .................... l45
24 “Wkat if I want to quote somebody?” .................................... l5l
25 “I kave trouble witk apostropkes.” ........................................ l55
26 “I never know wkat to capitalize.”.......................................... l59
27 “I can’t spell.” .......................................................................... l63
Index ........................................................................................ l73

Acknowledgments
I am grateful to Lisa Moore, Anne Stameskkin, Rutk Smitk, Mickele Pez-

zuti, and Ellen Vinz of McGraw-Hill for tkeir support and expert guid-
ance. In addition, I owe muck to tke sound counsel of tke following
reviewers, wkose insigkts inform tkis book:
Steven E. Coken, Norwalk Community College
Lakcen Elyazgki Ezzaker, University of Nortkern Colorado
Donald Erskine, Clark College
Carol S. Manning, Mary Waskington College
Sue McIntyre, Humboldt State University
Robbi Nester, Irvine Valley College
Deborak Coxwell Teague, Florida State University
Julie Wkitlow, Salem State College
Finally, to my understanding kusband, Denny, and to my ckildren, Greg

and Jeff, I offer tkanks for tke support and for tke room of my own.
vii
Copyright © 2005 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Click here for terms of use.
Introduction
Myjhs Abouj Wcijing: Don’j Belieue
Euecyjhing 7ou Heac
P eople say many tkings about writing. Some of wkat tkey say is true,
and some is not. Let’s see if you can tell tke difference between tke facts
and tke mytks.
Wkick of tke following statements are facts, and wkick are mytks? (Tke
answers appear after tke list, but don’t peek.)
• Writers are born, not made.
• “Good” writers write fast.
• Writers skould wait for inspiration.
• “Good” writers rarely struggle.
• “Good” writers get it rigkt tke first time.
• Outlining is very time-consuming.
• Tke longer tke words, tke better tkey are.
• Revising is reading over a draft and fixing spelling and punctuation.
• After drafting, “good” writers look for tkeir grammar mistakes

rigkt away.
• Tkere is only one way to write.
• A well-stated point does not require proof.
ix
x Injcoducjion
• After making tkeir last point, writers skould just stop.
• Sentence fragments are always skort.
• Run-ons and comma splices are always long.
• Use a comma wkerever you pause in speeck.
• Capitalize a word to empkasize it.
• Tkere are no rules to explain Englisk spelling.
• Tke longer tke writing, tke better it is.
Muck of wkat you kear about writing just isn’t true, including tke preced-
ing statements: every one of tkose statements is a common mytk about
writing.
How to Become a Better Writer

Myth: Writers are born, not made.
“I’m a terrible writer.” People say tkis all tke time, and maybe you kave
said it yourself. If so, you are probably wrong. More likely, you are not as
good a writer as you could be—or would like to be—but now you kave
tke ckance to become a better writer, even an excellent one.
Maybe you tkink you can’t be a good writer because you weren’t bocn a
good writer. Again, you are mistaken, for you can leacn to be a good writer.
Becoming a better writer kas muck in common witk becoming a better
swimmer, piano player, or dancer. In all tkese cases, you can work to
improve a skill. As you work to improve your writing skills, tkink about
tke following kabits of kigkly successful writers:
Habits of Highly Successful Writers

l. Be patient. Improving a skill takes time. Just as perfecting a foul
skot takes a basketball player time and practice, so too does improving
your writing. If you expect too muck too soon, you will become frustrated.
Expect to make slow, steady progress ratker tkan dramatic, overnigkt
improvement.
Injcoducjion xi
2. Expect to get stuck. Everyone does, even experienced professional

writers. Writer’s block and dead ends are all part of writing, so do not tkink
sometking is wrong witk you if you kave some trouble. Consult tkis text,
and talk to experienced writers wken you get stuck. Wken you solve tke
problem, tuck tke solution away for future reference, so tke same problem
does not plague you over and over again.
3. Remember that writing is really rewrifing. Experienced writers
work and rework drafts several times. Witk eack revision, know tkat you
are acting like an experienced writer.
4. Talk to other writers. Find out wkat tkey do wken tkey write, and
try some of tkeir procedures. Form a network witk otker writers for sup-
port and suggestions.
5. Study the responses to your writing. Skare your writing—eitker
in draft or finisked form—witk people witk good judgment. Ask tkem
wkat tkey tkink and wky. Reader response is valuable to a writer. By pay-
ing attention to tkis response and working to improve areas wkere readers
see weaknesses, you can improve more quickly.
6. Read, read, read. Read every day—tke newspaper, newsmagazines,
skort stories, romance novels, crime novels—anytking tkat interests you.
Notice kow otker writers do tkings. Pay attention to kow tkey kandle
beginnings, endings, proof of tkeir ideas, sentence structures, punctua-
tion, and transitions. Try to incorporate some of tkeir teckniques in your
own writing. Tke more you read, tke more you learn about tke nature of
language and tke faster your writing will improve. Furtkermore, frequent
reading makes you more knowledgeable, so you kave more ideas for your
writing.
7. Do not fear mistakes. Tkey are a natural part of learning. Take
risks; try tkings out. If you make mistakes, embrace tkem as opportunities
to learn. If you are afraid of making a mistake, you will never try; if you
never try, you will never grow. Try to connect your mistakes to your writ-
ing procedures. Decide wkick procedures work well for you and wkick do
not. Tken consult tkis text for procedures to replace tke ones tkat did not
work. For example, maybe drafting goes well for you, but revising does not.
Tkat means you need to discover new revision procedures. You can read
about tkose procedures in tkis book and tken try tkem out. Wken your
procedures work better, your writing will improve.
xii Injcoducjion
Understand Tkat Writing Is a Process

Myth: “Good” writers write fast.
Very few wortkwkile endeavors are accomplisked quickly, and writing is

no exception. Successful writers typically engage in a number of activities,
and doing so takes time. Tkese activities include tke following:
l. Prewriting (coming up witk ideas and finding a good order for

tkem)
2. Drafting (writing up your ideas in a preliminary form)
3. Revising (improving tke content and expression of ideas in your

draft)
4. Editing (finding and correcting grammar and usage mistakes)
Writers do not always move in a straigkt line from prewriting to drafting

to revising to editing. Instead, tkey often double back before going for-
ward. Wkile drafting, for example, you may tkink of a new idea to add. By
doing so, you kave left drafting and doubled back to prewriting. Or wkile
editing, you may tkink of a better way to pkrase an idea. Tken you kave
left editing and doubled back to revising. Never consider any stage of tke
process “done” and bekind you. Always stand ready to return to an earlier
stage wken a good idea strikes you.
Now let’s consider wkat eack stage of writing involves.
Pcewcijing
Myth: Writers skould wait for inspiration.
If you sit around waiting for inspiration, you may never get anytking writ-
ten; inspiration does not occur often enougk for writers to depend on it.
In fact, inspiration occurs so rarely tkat writers must develop otker ways
to get ideas. Collectively, tke procedures for coming up witk ideas in tke
absence of inspiration are called prewriting. Tke term pcewcijing is used
because tkese procedures come before writing tke first draft.
Injcoducjion xiii
Ckapters l to 3 describe procedures for coming up witk ideas to write

about and for discovering ways to order tkose ideas.
Dcafjing
Myth: “Good” writers get it rigkt tke first time.
Once writers generate enougk ideas during prewriting to serve as a depar-

ture point, tkey make tkeir first attempt at getting tkose ideas down. Tkis
part of tke writing process is drafting. Typically, tke first draft is very
rougk, wkick is wky it so often is called tke rough draft. Tke rougk draft
provides raw material tkat can be skaped and refined in tke next stages of
tke writing process. Ckapters 4 to 8 describe drafting procedures.
Reuising
Myth: Revising is reading over a draft and fixing spelling and
punctuation.
During revising, writers rework tke raw material of tke draft to get it in
skape. Tkis reworking is a time-consuming, difficult part of tke process.
It requires tke writer to refine tke content so tkat it is clear, points are ade-
quately supported, and ideas are expressed in tke best way and best order
possible. Ckapters 9 to l6 describe revising procedures.
Edijing
Myth: After drafting, “good” writers look for tkeir grammar mistakes
rigkt away.
Because experienced readers expect your writing to be free of errors, you

must edit to find and eliminate mistakes so tkey do not distract or annoy
your reader. Many writers kunt for errors too soon, kowever, before tkey
kave revised for content and effective expression. Editing skould really be
saved for tke end of tke process.
Ckapters l7 to 27 describe editing procedures.
xiv Injcoducjion
Develop Your Own Writing Process

Myth: Tkere is only one way to write.
Altkougk tkis book often mentions jhe writing process, tkere really is no
single correct process. Instead, writers develop procedures tkat work well
for tkem; so every successful writer can kave a different, successful pro-
cess. As you use tkis book and work to become a better writer, try differ-
ent procedures for prewriting, drafting, revising, and editing. Some of
tkese procedures will work well for you, and some will not. Continue sam-
pling until you kave effective strategies for kandling all tke stages of writ-
ing, and at tkat point, you will kave discovered your own successful
process.
PART l
A Troubleskooting Guide
to Prewriting
as tkis kappened to you? You write some sentences, but wken you
H read tke material over, you kate it. You wad up tke paper or kit tke
delete key, and tken you begin again. But tke same process repeats itself
over and over. Tkis is writer’s block. Or perkaps you never get anytking on
paper or on tke computer screen. Instead, you just stare at tke blank page
or screen, trying to squeeze out ideas. Tkis, too, is writer’s block. Fortu-
nately, you can banisk writer’s block witk tke strategies described in tkis
section on prewriting. (Prewriting refers to tke ways writers discover ideas
to write about.)
1
l
“I don’t know wkat to write.”
ke terror of tke blank page! No, it’s not a movie coming soon to a tke-
Y ater near you. It’s tke fear writers experience wken tkey sit down to
write but cannot tkink of anytking to say. Sure, sometimes writers are
zapped by tke ligktning bolt of inspiration, and idea after idea comes tum-
bling fortk. Inspiration is fickle, kowever, and cannot be counted on to just
skow up. Tkerefore, if inspiration fails you, take steps to develop ideas on
your own. Tke following strategies, known as idea-generation techniques,
can kelp you come up witk ideas wken inspiration does not arrive on time.
Troubleskooting Strategies
l Fceewcije
Tke act of writing stimulates tkougkt, so wken you cannot tkink of any-
tking to write, start writing anyway. Eventually, ideas will surface. Witk
freewriting, you write to discover ideas to write about. It works like tkis:
Sit in a quiet spot and write nonstop for about ten minutes. Record every
idea tkat occurs to you, no matter kow silly or irrelevant it seems. Do not
stop for any reason. If you run out of ideas, write tke days of tke week,
names of your family members, even “I don’t know wkat to write.” Write
anyjhing. Soon new tkougkts will strike you, and you can write about
tkem. Tke important tking about freewriting is to be fcee, so make wild
statements, write silly notions, or make random associations. Do not eval-
uate anytking; if it occurs to you, write it down. Do not worry about gram-
mar, spelling, punctuation, or neatness—just write ideas tke best way you
3
4 A Troubleskooting Guide to Prewriting
can witkout worrying about anytking. Here is a freewriting sample pro-

duced to discover ideas for writing about tke effects of computers:
Gompujecs ace wondecful and scacy aj jhe same jime. They ace gceaj
because jhey mahe jhings easiec and fasjec, lihe wcijing jhings and gejjing
info. Lej’s see, whaj else? They sjoce info and jcade ij wijh ojhec compujecs so
ouc pciuacy can be inuaded, jhaj’s pcejjy scacy. Lapjop compujecs ace big now,
you see people use jhem euecywhece. Thaj’s good and bad because you can
woch when ij’s conuenienj buj you also woch when you should be cesjing. This
whole Injecnej jhing is weicd. People spend whole days on ij. Is jhaj pcoduc-
jiue oc losj jime? Whaj else? Pocnogcaphy is a pcoblem on jhe Injecnej and
hids can gej inuolued. 7uch. Now whaj else? I’m sjuch, I’m sjuch. If you don’j
undecsjand compujecs, you will haue jcouble in jhe ¡ob machej. I guess jhaj
means schools bejjec do a good ¡ob of jeaching jhis sjuff. Now whaj? Anyjhing
else? Expensiue. Who can affocd all jhis compujec equipmenj? Is ij ¡usj foc jhe
cich? I cead an acjicle jhaj said compujecs ace changing jhe way we commu-
nicaje. I don’j cemembec whaj all ij said, I should looh ij up.
Notice tkat tke freewriting uneartked a number of ideas for writing about
tke effects of computers: convenience, possible invasion of privacy, ckanges
in tke way people work, tke time spent on tke Internet, ckanges in tke way
people communicate, tke need for sckools to educate ckildren in computer
skills, and wketker or not computer access is just for tke rick.
2 Use Looping
Witk looping, you explore a topic in more deptk by freewriting a second
and sometimes a tkird time. For example, tke previous freewriting sample
on tke effects of computers yielded several ideas for writing, including “tke
time spent on tke Internet.” To use looping, you would freewrite on tkis
topic for ten minutes. Tkat second “loop” may yield enougk material, or
you may freewrite a tkird loop on an idea tkat emerged in tke second loop.
Taken togetker, all tke freewriting loops can bring fortk considerable
material.
“I don’j hnow whaj jo wcije.” 5
3 Tcy Glusjecing
Clustering lets you see at a glance kow ideas relate to one anotker. To clus-
ter, write in tke middle of a page a subject area you want to tkink about.
Tken draw a circle around tke subject, so you kave sometking tkat looks
like tkis:
campus life
Next, as you tkink of ideas, connect tkem to tke central circle:
extracurricular
activities
athletics academics
campus life
dorm life social life
As more ideas occur to you, connect tkem to tke appropriate circles:
lots build skills
should be main
network
enjoyable focus; often isn´t
extracurricular
varsity activities more tutoring
needed
good
athletics academics
stress relief outdated
stressful
intramural campus life
not popular
dorm life social life
roommate
fraternities
problems
and sororities
stressful campus-sponsored
weird activities too
no privacy the bar scene few
not enough
frightening
popular
Continue writing ideas and joining tkem to circles until you can tkink
of notking else. Tken study your clustering to see if one particular circle
witk its connecting circles gives you enougk ideas to begin a draft. For
example, tkis portion of tke previous clustering migkt serve as a departure
point for a draft about tke benefits of extracurricular activities:
build skills
lots
extracurricular
activities
enjoyable
network
If tkis clustering does not yield enougk ideas for a draft, cluster again
to expand tke branckes:
something leadership
for everyone
organizational
build
to reduce lots
skills
stress
extracurricular
time
activities
to try new management
things enjoyable
network
to meet meet faculty

meet
people and staff
students
for contacts for help

after graduation now and later
4 Wcije a Lisj
List ideas tkat occur to you in pkrases ratker tkan sentences. Do not cen-
sor yourself; write everytking you tkink of. Even if you are sure an idea is
terrible, write it anyway, because it may prompt you to tkink of anotker
more useful idea. Here is an idea-generation list for writing about tke
effects of being cut from tke basketball team:
felt rejected
was embarrassed
disappointed my fatker
got teased
felt inadequate
gave up basketball forever
decided to go out for cross-country
lost my best friend, wko was busy witk tke team
Next, review your list and cross out ideas you do not want to use and add
new ideas tkat occur to you. If you number tke ideas in tke list in tke order
you want to treat tkem in your draft, you kave a scratck outline. Some-
times you may want to write a second list focusing on only one of tke
points in your first list. For example, a second list focusing on “lost my best
friend, wko was busy witk tke team” could look like tkis:
Cal kad no time for me

practiced every day
couldn’t go out at nigkt because of curfew
socialized witk kis teammates
wouldn’t play sports witk me because of fear of injuries
5 Bcainsjocm
To brainstorm for ideas, ask yourself questions about your topic. Tke
answers can provide details for your essay. Sometimes tke question tkat
offers up tke most information is tke simple question “Wky?” In addition,
you may find tke following questions kelpful:
Wky did it kappen?

How did it kappen?
Wko was involved?
Wken did it kappen?
Wkere did it kappen?
Could it kappen again?
Wkat does it mean?
How does it work?
Wky does tkis matter to me?
Wky does tkis matter to my reader?

Wky is it true?
Wkat is it similar to?
Wkat is it different from?
Wkat are its pkysical ckaracteristics?
Wky is it important?
Wko would care about it?
Wkat causes it?
Wkat are its effects?
Wkat is it related to?
Wkat examples are tkere?
How can it be explained?
Wkat controversies are associated witk it?
6 Examine 7ouc Topic fcom Diffecenj Angles

If you kave a broad subject area you want to write about, but you are not
sure kow to limit tke subject, try viewing it from different angles. Asking
yourself tke following questions can skow you kow to approack your topic
from different perspectives:
l. How can I describe my subject? Wkat does it look, smell, taste,

sound, and feel like? Wkat are its parts, color, size, skape, and so on?
2. How can I compare and contrast my subject? Wkat is it like, and
wkat is it different from? Are tke similarities and differences important?
3. What do I associate my subject w ith? Wkat does it make people
tkink of ? Wkat is it related to? Wkat does it develop from or lead to?
4. How can I analyze my subject? How is it broken down? How does
it work? Wkat is it made of ? Wky is it important?
5. How can I apply my subject? Wkat is it good for? Wko would find
it useful? Wken is it useful? Does it kave social, economic, or political
value?
6. What arguments accompany my subject? Wkat are tke reasons for
it? Wkat are tke reasons against it? Wko is for it? Wko is against it? Is it
rigkt or wrong? Good or bad? How does it affect society?
After answering tkese questions, you may kave an approack to your subject.
Tken you can do some additional idea generation for ideas to suit your
approack.
7 Use Quesjionnaices
Learning wkat otker people tkink can expose you to fresk perspectives and
stimulate your own tkinking. To discover wkat otkers tkink, develop a
questionnaire for people to complete. Tkis is not a scientific instrument;
it is just sometking to prime your own idea pump. For example, say you
want to write about tke movie rating system. You could develop tke fol-
lowing questionnaire:
l. Wkat do you tkink of tke current movie rating system, wkick uses
tke designations G, PG, PG-l3, R, and X?
2. Wky do you tkink tke way you do?
3. Wkat could be done to improve tke system?
4. Wkat aspects of tke current system skould remain tke same? Wky?
Your questionnaire skould not include too many questions, or people will
not botker witk it. Nor skould you use tke answers insjead of your own
tkinking; tke answers are meant to stimulate your own tkinking. Finally,
question at least five people so you get a useful number of responses.
8 Wcije an Explocajocy Dcafj

Wken you do not know wkat to write, sometimes tke solution is to get in
tkere and write anyway. You may be one of tkose people wko don’t know
wkat tkey want to say until tkey say it. If so, sit down and force yourself to
write on your topic for about an kour witkout worrying about kow good
tke material is. Tke result will be an exploratory draft—a few pages of
material reflecting wkat you currently know.
An exploratory draft may yield a tkougkt or two tkat you can pursue
witk one of tke idea-generation teckniques in tkis ckapter, or it may yield
enougk for you to try an outline or rougk draft. Remember tkat your goal
is not to produce a first draft; it is to discover one or more ideas to serve

as a departure point.
9 Relaje jhe Topic jo 7ouc Own Expecience

Relate tke topic to your own experiences so you can write about wkat you
know. For example, to write about modern tecknology, remember all tke
trouble your cell pkone caused you, and write about kow tkis device can
be more trouble tkan it is wortk. To write about tke American educational
system, tkink about your ckild-care kassles and argue tkat your company
skould kave a day-care center. A topic tkat seems formidable at first can
be made manageable if it is viewed in tke context of your own life
experiences.
l0 Talh injo a Tape Recocdec

Forget writing for a wkile and try talking. Have a conversation witk your-
self about your topic by speaking all your tkougkts into a tape recorder.
Do not censor yourself; just talk about wkatever occurs to you, and feel
free to be silly, offbeat, funny, dramatic, or outlandisk. Wken you run out
of ideas, play back tke tape. Wken you kear a good idea, pause tke tape
and write tke idea down.
ll Talh jo Ojhec People

Discuss your writing topic witk friends and relatives. Tkey may be able to
suggest ideas. Or kave otker people ask you tke brainstorming questions
tkat appear earlier in tkis ckapter.
l2 Wcije a Poem
Sometimes ckanging formats can kelp, so instead of trying to write an
essay, write a poem about your topic. Tken study it for ideas you can skape
and develop in prose form.
l3 Wcije Abouj 7ouc Bloch

Wken all else fails, write about wky you can’t write. Explain kow you feel,
wkat is keeping you from getting ideas, and wkat you would write if you
could. Tkis skeer act of writing can catapult you beyond tke block to pro-
ductive idea generation.
l4 Puj 7ouc Wcijing on jhe Bach Bucnec

If you do not know wkat to write, you may need to give your ideas an incu-
bation period. Try going about your normal routine witk your writing topic
on tke back burner. Tkink about your topic from time to time tkrougkout
tke day. Many writers get tkeir best ideas wkile walking tke dog, wasking
tke car, sitting in a traffic jam, or cleaning tke kouse. If you feel anxious,
exercise to relieve tke tension. Of course, if an idea strikes wkile you are
in tke middle of sometking, stop and write tke idea down so you do not
forget it.
l5 Idenjify 7ouc Pucpose and Audience

You may kave trouble tkinking of ideas if you kave not clarified your pur-
pose and audience. Responding to tke following questions can kelp.
Yo Identify Your Purpose
• Wkat feelings, ideas, or experiences can I relate to my reader?
• Of wkat can I inform my reader?
• Of wkat can I persuade my reader?
• In wkat way can I entertain my reader?
Yo Identify Your Audience
• Wko could learn sometking from my writing?
• Wko would enjoy reading about my topic?
• Wko could be influenced to tkink or act a certain way?

• Wko is interested in my topic or would find it important?
• Wko needs to kear wkat I kave to say?
l6 Keep a Joucnal
Buy a full-size spiral notebook for keeping a journal, or set up a computer
file. Write in your journal every day. A journal is not a diary, because it is
not a record of your daily activities. Instead, it is an account of your
tkougkts and reactions to events. For example, if you feel compassion for
a blind person you saw, describe your feelings. If you are anxious about an
upcoming event, explain wky you are concerned. If you were recently
reminded of a ckildkood event, describe tkis memory. A journal is also a
good place to tkink tkings tkrougk in writing. Is sometking troubling you?
Do you kave a problem? Explore tke issues in your journal, and you may
ackieve new insigkts. In addition, if you are working on a writing project,
a journal is an ideal place to try out an approack to part of tke draft, or to
tinker witk a revision.
Because your journal is meant for you and not for a reader, you do not
need to revise and edit anytking. Just write your ideas down in any way
tkat suits you, because you are your primary audience tkis time. Later, if
you are looking for a writing topic, review your journal for ideas. Set aside
at least fifteen minutes every day to write in your journal. If you kave trou-
ble tkinking of wkat to write, try one of tke following suggestions:
l. Write about sometking tkat angers you, pleases you, or frustrates

you.
2. Describe tke ideal education.
3. Write about some ckange you would like to make in yourself.
4. Look at a newspaper and respond to a keadline.
5. Write about someone you admire.
6. Describe your life as you would like it to be in five years.
7. Tell about one tking tke world could do witkout.

8. Record a vivid ckildkood memory.
9. Describe your current writing process, including wkat you do to

generate ideas, draft, revise, and edit.
l0. Describe one piece of legislation you wisk you could draft. Explain
kow it would improve tke world.
l7 Gombine Techniques
Combine teckniques any way you like. Perkaps you will begin witk
freewriting and tken brainstorm. Or maybe you will talk into a tape
recorder and tken list. Experiment until you find tke combination of teck-
niques tkat works tke best.
l8 Use a Gompujec foc Idea Genecajion

If you use a computer, you may like tke following strategies.
Freewrite. Witk a blank screen, write wkatever comes to mind about

your subject (or even your lack of a subject). Do not go back witk tke
delete, backspace, or left arrow key. Just write for about ten minutes. Tken
get a printout, and read wkat you kave typed. Underline usable ideas. Per-
kaps tkere will be enougk to get you started. If not, do a second freewrit-
ing, focusing on tke underlined ideas. (For more on freewriting, see tke
beginning of tkis ckapter.)
Write Blindfolded. No, you don’t really blindfold yourself or even close
your eyes. Just find tke switck tkat controls tke brigktness of tke monitor
and turn it all tke way down until tke screen is dark. Tken type for ten
minutes, just as you would if you were freewriting. Wken you are done,
your screen may look like tkis:
I hdonj hnow whaj jo wcije I jhinh I;ll wcije abouj jhe pcoblems of sju-
denjs ace gejjing wcipped off on jhe fees and juijion being changecd.
Tkis is not a problem. You can still detect tke seeds of good ideas to expand
on in a draft or in a second blindfolded writing.
Write E-Mail. Write an e-mail to a friend, and discuss your writing topic.
Mention tke ideas you currently kave, and ask for a response to tkose ideas
and for some additional ideas to consider.
List and Write a Scratch Outline. You may appreciate listing on tke
computer because ideas can be easily reorganized and deleted to get a neat,
sequenced list of ideas. Just write tke first idea tkat comes to mind. A word
or a pkrase will do just fine. Press tke enter or return key. Write anotker
idea, and press tke enter or return key. Repeat tkese steps until you run out
of ideas. Use your delete key to eliminate ideas you want to strike from
your list. Next, study your list and decide wkat order is suggested. Try out
tke order using tke copy-and-paste sequence. Rearrange your list as often
as you like until you kave a suitable scratck outline to guide your first draft.
Use the Internet. Tke Internet can be a kelpful resource for writers wko
need ideas. In particular, you migkt try tke following:
• Surf the Internet. Type a subject into a searck engine, and scan tke
titles returned for possible writing topics or ideas for developing a topic.
Four popular searck engines are
AltaVista: altavista.com
Google: google.com
Yakoo: yakoo.com
All tke Web: alltkeweb.com
• Browse news sites. Scan one of tkese popular news sites for infor-
mation on current events, kealtk, business, and entertainment. You migkt
get several writing ideas.
Yakoo News: kttp://news.yakoo.com/?u
Reuters News Service: reuters.com/news.jktml
Google News: news.google.com
• Browse electronic newspapers and magazines. Try one of tkese

sites:
For newspapers around tke country and world: refdesk.com/paper.ktml
An online magazine: kttp://slate.msn.com
A national newspaper: usatoday.com
• Browse websites with links to varied content. Tkese two sites, in

particular, may give you writing ideas:
SciTeckDaily Review: sciteckdaily.com
Arts & Letters Daily: aldaily.com
2
“How do I determine
my tkesis?”
Y ou migkt know in your own mind wkat your writing is about, but tkat
is not enougk. You need to convey tkat idea to your reader in a clear,
appealing way—and tkat’s wkere your tkesis comes in. Your thesis is tke
statement of your writing’s focus, and it frequently appears at or near tke
beginning of your writing.
Because your tkesis guides tke course of your writing, it must be crafted
witk care. Tke suggestions in tkis ckapter can kelp.
l9 Sjudy 7ouc Idea-Genecajion Majecial
You may be tempted to base your tkesis on tke point you generated tke
most ideas for, but tkat point may not be your best ckoice. Perkaps you
kave too muck material for tke lengtk you are working witk, or perkaps
tkat point kolds little interest for your reader. Study your idea-generation
material carefully witk your reader in mind before deciding on your tkesis
idea.
20 Wcije a Two-Pacj Thesis

One part of your tkesis skould give tke topic you are discussing, and tke
otker part skould note your assertion about tkat topic. In tke following
17
examples, tke topic is underlined once, and tke assertion is underlined

twice:
Tke television ratings system does not serve tke purpose it was
intended to serve.
Tke federal government skould outlaw Internet gambling.
Altkougk textbooks cost a great deal of money, tkey are one of tke
best bargains in education.
2l Noje jhe Main Poinjs Thaj Will Be Made in

7ouc Essay
In addition to noting your topic and your assertion about tkat topic, your
tkesis can indicate tke main points you will cover in your writing (altkougk
it does not kave to do tkis). In tke following example, tke designated main
points are underlined:
Year-round sckools are a good idea because ckildren would not forget
material over long summer breaks, ckild care would not be a
problem for working parents, and a greater number of elective
courses could be offered.
22 Limij 7ouc Topic jo Somejhing Manageable

Avoid treating more tkan one topic or more tkan one assertion. Also avoid
single topics tkat are too broad. Treating more tkan one topic, more tkan
one assertion, or a very broad topic requires you to write too muck, or it
forces you into a very general, superficial treatment of your topic.
More than one topic: To revitalize tke city, tax incentives

skould be offered to new businesses, and
more parking skould be offered
downtown.
Better (one topic): To revitalize tke city, tax incentives
skould be offered to new businesses.
“How do I dejecmine my jhesis?” 19
Better (one topic): To revitalize tke city, more parking

skould be offered downtown.
More than one assertion: Voters would be less apatketic if

campaign finance laws were ckanged, and
if candidates debated more often.
Better (one assertion): Voters would be less apatketic if
campaign finance laws were ckanged.
Better (one assertion): Voters would be less apatketic if
candidates debated more often.
Too broad: Tke American political system needs to

be overkauled.
Better: Tke electoral college is no longer a
sensible way to elect a president.
23 Expcess 7ouc Assecjion in Specißc Wocds

Words like good, nice, awesome, bad, and injecesjing are too vague to give
your reader a clear indication of your assertion. So opt instead for more
specific words and pkrases.
Vague: Jennifer Juarez makes a good candidate for City Council.

Better: Jennifer Juarez is a qualified candidate for City Council
because of ker extensive political background.
Vague: New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art is an awesome

place.
Better: Because of tke number and variety of its koldings, New York’s
Metropolitan Museum of Art is a national treasure.
24 Auoid Facjual Sjajemenjs

If your tkesis is a statement of indisputable fact, your essay will kave
nowkere to go.
Factual statement: Tke zoning board must decide wketker to

approve a kousing development on Route l93.
Better: Tke zoning board skould approve tke kousing
development on Route l93.
25 Gonsidec 7ouc Thesis jo Be Tenjajiue

During drafting and revising, everytking is part of a discovery process and,
tkerefore, subject to ckange. Your tkesis, no matter kow carefully you
crafted it, is tentative. It may ckange later, as new insigkts occur to you.
26 Use a Gompujec jo Help Dejecmine 7ouc Thesis

If you compose at tke computer, try tke following strategies.
E-M ail a Friend. If you kave trouble composing a tkesis, e-mail your
idea-generation material to a friend. Ask tkat person to review tke mate-
rial and to identify one or more tkesis statements tkat seem to emerge from
tkat material.
Use the Internet. For additional information on kow to write a tkesis,

visit tkese websites:
• Capital Community College’s Guide to Grammar and Writing:

ccc.commnet.edu/grammar. Select “Index” in tke drop-down box under
“Essay & Researck Paper Level,” tken click on “Tkesis Statement.”
• Purdue University’s Online Writing Lab: kttp://owl.englisk.purdue
.edu. In tke searck box, type “tkesis.”
3
“How do I get my ideas to

fit togetker?”
K, so you’ve come up witk good ideas and now you need to get your
O ideas to kang togetker in a cokerent wkole. Tke strategies in tkis
ckapter can kelp.
27 Ghech 7ouc Thesis
Your tkesis tells wkat your writing is about. (For more on tke tkesis, see
Ckapter 2.) If your ideas do not come togetker, tke problem may be witk
your tkesis. Ckeck your tkesis against tke guidelines tkat follow, and make
any necessary revisions.
• Be sure you have a thesis. Can you point to or write out a specific
sentence or two tkat expresses tke focus of your writing? If not, your ideas
may be notking more tkan a collection of loosely related tkougkts, wkick
seem confused because tkey do not develop one central focus.
• Be sure your thesis expresses an idea worthy of discussion, some-
tking tkat is disputed or sometking in need of explanation. For more on
tkis point, see Ckapter 2.
• Be sure your thesis does not take in too much territory, or you will
be forced to bring in too many ideas, wkick can create disorder.
21
Thesis covering too much territory: Higk sckool was a traumatic

experience.
Acceptable thesis: My first kigk sckool track meet
was a traumatic experience.
Tke first tkesis requires tke writer to cover events spanning four years—
wkick could be a great deal for one writing. Tke second tkesis sets up a
more reasonable goal: tke events of one afternoon.
28 Wcije a Sccajch Oujline

To write a scratck outline, list all your most important points. Tken review
tke list and number tke points in tke order you will kandle tkem in your
writing. A scratck outline can be made quickly, and many writers find it
useful. However, because tke outline is not very detailed (it covers only tke
main points), otker writers find it does not provide enougk structure. If
you are one of tke latter, you may prefer one of tke otker outlining teck-
niques described in tkis ckapter.
29 Gonsjcucj an Oujline Tcee

Tke outline tree provides a visual representation of kow ideas relate to eack
otker. To construct a tree, write your tkesis on tke page:
A refundable deposit should be added to the price of products in glass containers.
Next, branck your main ideas off from your tkesis idea:
to reduce litter because voluntary recycling is not working to keep prices down
“How do I gej my ideas jo ßj jogejhec?” 23
Tken, branck supporting ideas off from your main ideas:
to reduce litter because voluntary recycling is not working to keep prices down
dangerous ugly because bottles and jars can be reused
some communities don´t have not everyone willing to recycle
too lazy too busy
Tke outline tree skows you kow ideas relate to eack otker so tkat wken
drafting, you avoid skipping randomly from one idea to anotker.
30 Wcije an Infocmal Oujline

Writers wko are uncomfortable witk tke formal outline tkat uses Roman
numerals, capital and lowercase letters, and numbers often like tke infor-
mal outline tkat lists and groups tke most important ideas. Typically, an
informal outline includes:
• Tke tkesis idea
• Tke major points to support tke tkesis
• Some of tke ideas tkat support tke major points
Here is an example of an informal outline for tke following tkesis: “Pub-

lic sckool students skould not kave to wear uniforms.”
Introduction or Opening Paragraph

Mention the problems public schools face (attendance, violence,
low-test scores, and demoralized teachers and students), and
explain that uniforms are not the solution to these problems.
Paragraphs to Support Thesis

The Constitution does not allow public school students to be forced
to wear uniforms.
• Some students will wear them and some won´t.

• Preferential treatment will result.
If everyone dresses the same, there will be no self-expression.
• Students need to express their individuality in a harmless way.

• Most other aspects of education require conformity.
Deal with the argument that uniforms save money and eliminate
"clothing competition."
• The savings isn´t worth the problems uniforms cause.

• People need to learn how to handle competition.
Closing
The problems in our schools must be solved somehow, but uniforms
won´t do it.
3l Gonsjcucj an Oujline Map

To develop tke map, use your list of generated ideas to fill in a copy of tke
form skown in Figure l.
To complete tke map, write in your tkesis and place one main point at
tke top of eack column. (If you kave two main points, you will kave two
columns; tkree main points will mean tkree columns; and so on.) In tke
columns under eack main point, write tke supporting ideas tkat will
develop tke main point. Tken note wkat your concluding point(s) will be.
You can write your draft from tke map by allowing eack column to be
a paragrapk.
“How do I gej my ideas jo ßj jogejhec?” 25
Figure 1 Outline Map
Thesis:
Main Point Main Point Main Point Main Point
Supporting Supporting Supporting Supporting

Detail Detail Detail Detail
Concluding Points:
32 Wcije an Absjcacj
An abstract is a very brief summary. Before you start drafting, write a one-
paragrapk abstract of wkat you plan to say in your writing. Include only
tke main points, and leave out tke details tkat will expand on tkose points.
Tken read over your abstract to ckeck tkat tke main points logically fol-
low one to tke next. If tkey do not, try anotker abstract, placing your ideas
in a different order. Wken you draft, you can flesk out tke abstract into a
full-lengtk piece of writing.
33 Use a Gompujec jo Help Ocganise 7ouc Ideas

Computers can be very kandy for kelping writers organize tkeir ideas.
The Scratch Outline. If you use a computer to generate ideas by listing,

you can turn your list into a scratck outline very easily. Use tke delete key
to eliminate tke ideas tkat you do not want to use (and if new ideas occur
to you, add tkem to tke list). Tken by using tke copy-and-paste command,
arrange tke ideas in tke order you want to treat tkem in your writing.
The Outline Program. If your computer kas an outline program, use it

to fill in tke various levels designated by Roman numerals, letters, and
numbers. Study tke results, and expand and delete sublevels as necessary.
Create Your Own Outline File. If your word-processing program does

not include an outline feature, develop your own outline form, using
Roman numerals, letters, and numbers. Save tke form as a file you can
retrieve wkenever you want to make an outline. You can also create forms
and files for tke outline map and outline workskeet.
Use the Internet. If you want to learn tke meckanics of writing a formal
outline, visit Purdue University’s Online Writing Lab at kttp://owl
.englisk.purdue.edu/kandouts/general/gl_outlin.ktml.
PART 2
to Drafting
rafting is your first attempt to write your ideas on tke page or com-
D
puter screen. Because it is your ßcsj effort, your draft will probably kave
many problems. Tkat’s normal. In fact, most people write very rougk first
drafts and tken rework tkem until tkey are polisked and reader-ready. In
otker words, do not feel discouraged if your drafting yields a very ragged
piece of writing. Rougk tkougk it is, tkat draft is useful raw material tkat
you can refine.
27
4
“I know wkat I want to say,

but I can’t say it.”
S o you tkink you know wkat you want to say, and you sit down witk
plenty of fresk writing paper, pencils skarpened to a letkal point, and
a bowl of Doritos. Tken disaster strikes: you know wkat you want to say,
but tke words don’t come out rigkt—or tkey don’t come out at all.
If tkis kappens to you, know tkat you are not alone. Plenty of writers
experience tke same block. To get past tke block, use tke teckniques
described in tkis ckapter.
34 Gej Rid of Disjcacjions
Are you trying to write witk keadpkones on? Witk tke TV on in tke back-
ground? Witk your roommate rummaging for a missing left sneaker? Witk
tke street department outside tearing up tke pavement witk an air kam-
mer? Few people can write wken distractions disrupt tkeir focus, so get-
ting past writer’s block may be as simple as finding a place to write tkat is
free of distractions.
35 Sej Injecmediaje Goals foc 7oucself

At tke beginning of a writing project, tke finisk line can seem so far away
tkat we feel stress. Tkis stress can lead to writer’s block. Try breaking tke
29
30 A Troubleskooting Guide to Drafting
task down into manageable steps. For example, tke first time you sit down,
tell yourself you will just come up witk five ideas and a scratck outline. Tke
second time, you will just draft tke opening. Tke tkird time, you will draft
two paragrapks. If you work toward tke completion of intermediate goals,
tke project will be less intimidating.
36 Allow 7ouc Dcafj jo Be Rough

If you find yourself starting a draft, crumpling up tke paper and pitcking
it to tke floor, starting anotker draft, crumpling up tke paper and pitcking
it to tke floor, starting anotker draft, and so fortk, you may be expecting
too muck too soon. Remember, a first draft is supposed to be rougk. Instead
of wadding up tkat draft, force yourself to go from start to finisk in one
sitting to get raw material tkat you can skape during tke revision process
later.
37 Wcije in a New Place

A ckange of scene can kelp a writer break tkrougk a block, so if you usu-
ally write in one place, try anotker. Go to tke library, tke park, or a local
diner. If you write in your bedroom, try tke kitcken or a coffee skop. A
new locale can give you a fresk perspective.
38 Swijch 7ouc Wcijing Tools

If you write witk a pen, try a pencil or a computer. If you use a computer,
try a pen. If you like lined paper, try unlined. If you like legal pads, try sta-
tionery. Do anytking to make tke writing feel different.
39 Wcije on a Daily Schedule

Professional writers are disciplined about tkeir work. Tkey make tkem-
selves sit down at tke same time eack day to write for a specific number of
kours. Follow tke lead of tke professionals, and pusk past tke block by forc-
ing yourself to write at a certain time eack day for a specific lengtk of time.
“I hnow whaj I wanj jo say, buj I can’j say ij.” 31
40 Wcije a Lejjec jo a Fciend

Sometimes we tkink of tke reader at tke otker end judging our work, and
we freeze. Try writing your draft as if it were a letter to a friend—a letter
to someone wko cares about you and wko will value you regardless of kow
well you write. Wken your audience is skifted to a person you feel com-
fortable witk, you can relax and allow tke words to emerge. After writing
a draft tkis way, you can revise to make your work suitable for your
intended reader and to skape it into an essay or otker appropriate form.
4l Wcije foc 7oucself Insjead of foc a Readec

Forget your reader for a wkile, and write tke draft in a way tkat pleases
you. Be your own audience at first. Later wken you polisk your work, you
can make tke ckanges necessary for tke audience you are aiming for.
42 Use a Najucal Sjyle

Sometimes writers try so kard to ackieve wkat tkey tkink is a “sopkisti-
cated” style tkat tke strain causes a block. To solve tkis problem, write as
you normally speak, and tke words skould flow more easily. After drafting
tkis way, revise if tke writing is too conversational or informal.
Unnatural: Tke garrulous male juvenile, wko upon cursory

examination gave tke appearance of being about
twelve, nettled tke orator.
More natural: Tke talkative boy, wko looked about twelve, annoyed
tke speaker.
43 Speah injo a Recocdec

Sometimes we kave trouble writing but no trouble talking. Try speaking
your draft into a recorder. Afterward, you can transcribe tke recording to
get your draft.
44 Recead Ofjen
If you get blocked in tke middle, go back and reread your draft from tke
beginning. Doing so can give you momentum and propel you past tke
block. Rereading can be a reminder of your tkesis, purpose, and organiza-
tional strategy, a reminder tkat keeps you on track.
45 Walh Away
Wken tke words won’t come, you may need time away to relax and let
tkings simmer. Take a walk, listen to music, play tennis, take a skower,
make a sandwick, read a magazine, clean a drawer, or pot a plant. Do any-
tking to clear your mind for a wkile. Time away can provide an incubation
period, so wken you start to write again you are no longer stuck.
46 Wcije jhe Beginning Lasj

If you’re stuck on tke opening, write tke middle and end, and tken go back
to your beginning. Witk tke rest of your draft complete, you may find your
opening easier to kandle tkan it was before. (If you write your opening last,
write a tkesis on scratck paper so you kave a focus for your draft.)
47 Begin in jhe Middle

Begin writing about wkatever point you feel confident writing, and go from
tkere. Starting witk an idea you can write—no matter wkere in tke draft
it falls—can propel you forward.
48 Goncenjcaje on Whaj 7ou Can Do, and Ship Whaj

7ou Gan’j Do
You can start out just fine, but tken begin to struggle along tke way and
eventually come to a full stop. Wky does a good start fizzle? Tkis may kap-
pen because you dwell on tke trouble spots and lose momentum. To solve
tkis problem, skip tke trouble spots: if you cannot tkink of tke rigkt word,
leave a blank and add it later; if you sense some detail is not working,
underline it for later consideration and press on; or if tke rigkt approack
“I hnow whaj I wanj jo say, buj I can’j say ij.” 33
to your opening escapes you, begin witk your second paragrapk and go on
from tkere. You will make more progress by focusing on wkat you can do
and leaving tke problems bekind to deal witk later.
49 Resisj jhe Tempjajion jo Rewcije as 7ou Dcafj

If you constantly rewrite wkat you kave already written, you can get stuck
in one place—maybe polisking tke introduction over and over, or perkaps
tinkering endlessly witk tke detail to support your first point. Wkile some
writers do well if tkey revise as tkey go, otkers get bogged down. If you get
bogged down, try pusking forward even if wkat you kave already written
is in pretty sorry skape. You can revise tke rougk spots later.
50 Wcije Fasj, and Don’j Looh Bach

If you write fast, you will kave no time to worry about kow well you are
saying tkings. You will only be able to get tkings down tke best way you
can at tke moment. Later wken you revise, you can rework tkings as
needed.
5l Wcije an Oujline
If you kave generated a number of good ideas and you still kave trouble
writing a draft, you may be unsure wkat idea you skould write first, sec-
ond, tkird, and so on. An outline can kelp. (For information on outlining,
consult Ckapter 3.)
52 Rejucn jo Idea Genecajion

You may noj kave a clear enougk idea of wkat you want to say, so you may
need to return to idea generation. Try a favorite tecknique to clarify your
tkinking or to flesk out some existing ideas. Or try a tecknique you kave
not used before (see Ckapter l for suggestions).
53 Use a Gompujec jo Help 7ou Find jhe Righj Wocds

If you like to compose at tke computer, tke next teckniques can be kelpful.
Split Your Screen. On one part of tke screen, display your outline or
idea-generation material; on tke otker side, display your draft. Tkis way,
you can easily refer to your prewriting material as you write. You can also
place your tkesis in one of tke screens to kelp you stay on track as you
draft.
Write Invisible Notes. Many word-processing programs allow you to

write notes tkat appear on your screen but not on tke printed page. If you
want to remember a question, record an idea, or make a comment for later
consideration, and you do not want to interrupt your drafting, use tkis
capability to write on your draft. Tke comments will not appear on your
paper copy, but tkey will be saved in tke computer file for you to come
back to.
Cut and Paste. If you generate ideas on tke computer, you can cut and
paste some or all of tkat material into a first draft. Of course, you will need
to revise tkat material later, but it can work well as a departure point.
Use the Internet. Tke following Web page kas information on wkat
causes writer’s block and kow to prevent and deal witk it: suitel0l
.com/welcome.cfm/writers_block.
5
“I’m kaving trouble witk

my opening.”
Y ke first day of sckool, tke first day on a new job, a first date—starting
out sometking new can be kard. Starting out a piece of writing can
also be difficult, even if you kave generated plenty of ideas. Tke strategies
in tkis ckapter can kelp.
54 Explain Why 7ouc Topic Is Impocjanj
Wky skould anyone take time to read wkat you write? Let your readers
know wky your topic is important, and you can engage tkeir interest. Say
your work will explain to tke residents of your town kow tkey can elimi-
nate cigarette advertising on billboards. Your introduction can explain wky
residents skould want to eliminate tkis advertising in tke first place:
Ojhec jhan jhe jobacco companies and a few nicojine addicjs who liue in
denial, few people dispuje jhe facj jhaj cigacejjes ace a secious—euen a
deadly—healjh hasacd. Because cigacejjes ace so dangecous, laws pcohibij
jheic aduecjising on jeleuision. Unfocjunajely, a similac ban does noj exisj foc
pcinj media. As a cesulj, many people ace enjiced jo begin smohing afjec uiew-
ing jhe ads jhaj pcomise euecyjhing fcom “puce smohing pleasuce” jo fun,
fciends, and comance. Teenagecs and youngec childcen ace pacjiculacly uul-
necable jo jhe seducjiue aduecjising, and we musj pcojecj jhem. While we
35
cannoj focce najional aduecjisecs jo sjop cunning magasine aduecjisemenjs,

we can lobby local ofßcials jo ban cigacejje aduecjising on billboacds in ouc
jown.
55 Pcouide Bachgcound Infocmajion

Wkat skould your reader know to appreciate or understand your topic?
Wkat information would establisk a context for your essay? Tke answers
to tkese questions can provide background information in tke introduc-
tion. For example, assume you will argue tkat more federal money skould
be spent to educate ckildren about tke dangers of tobacco. Your introduc-
tion could supply background information about past efforts in tkis area:
In jhe laje 1990s, Pcesidenj Glinjon began an inijiajiue jo ceduce jobacco

use by childcen. The public was inuijed jo commenj, public ofßcials made
gcand speeches, jhe pcess coueced jhe pcoceedings exjensiuely, and jhe cesulj
was a few Food and Dcug Adminisjcajion effocjs jo ceduce access and limij
jhe appeal of jobacco pcoducjs foc childcen. Basically, all jhaj jhis amounjed
jo was some billboacds and public secuice announcemenjs on jeleuision. The
effecjs haue been minimal, and jhe public healjh ccisis is wocsening as chil-
dcen sjacj smohing aj youngec ages. Gleacly, jhe fedecal gouecnmenj musj
deuoje considecably moce money and cesoucces jo educajing childcen abouj
jobacco.
56 Tell a Sjocy
Create interest in your topic by telling a story tkat is related to tkat topic
or in some way illustrates your tkesis. For example, if your essay skows tkat
modern conveniences can be more trouble tkan tkey are wortk, tke fol-
lowing introduction witk a story could be effective:
The mocning of my ¡ob injecuiew, I wohe up an houc eacliec jhan usual

and jooh special pains wijh my haic and maheup. I aje a lighj, sensible bceah-
fasj, which managed jo hij bojjom despije jhe menagecie of winged insecjs
ßujjecing acound my sjomach. I dcoue jhe pachway downjown, necuously bij-
ing my lowec lip jhe whole way. I had jo pach jhcee long blochs fcom jhe ofßce
“I’m hauing jcouble wijh my opening.” 37
building whece jhe injecuiew was jo jahe place, and by jhe jime I goj jo jhe
building I was complejely windblown. Bceajhless, I gasped my name jo jhe
cecepjionisj, who explained jhaj my injecuiew would haue jo be posjponed.
The pecsonnel dicecjoc had neuec made ij in. Ij seems hec elecjcicijy was off,
and she could noj gej hec cac ouj of jhe gacage, because jhe dooc was con-
jcolled by an elecjcic openec. Thaj’s when I hnew foc suce jhaj modecn con-
ueniences can be downcighj inconuenienj.
57 Use an Injecesjing Quojajion

If someone kas said sometking applicable to your tkesis and said it partic-
ularly well, you can engage interest by quoting tke remark. Just be sure tkat
tke quotation is interesting and not an overused expression like “better safe
tkan sorry” or “tke early bird gets tke worm.”
Euecyone seems jo agcee jhaj we leacn fcom ouc misjahes and jhaj failuce
can be moce insjcucjiue jhan success. As Genecal Golin Powell has said,
“Thece ace no seccejs jo success. Ij is jhe cesulj of pcepacajion, hacd woch,
leacning fcom failuce.” Why, jhen, ace sjudenjs denied jhe oppocjunijy jo
cepeaj coucses wijhouj penaljy? So we can pcoßj fcom ouc misjahes, jhe
adminisjcajion should allow us jo jahe coucses jhcee jimes and cecocd jhe
highesj gcade on ouc jcansccipjs.
58 Pcouide Releuanj Sjajisjics

Relevant statistics, particularly if tkey are surprising, can engage a reader.
Just be sure tkat you note tke source of tke statistics you use, so your reader
does not tkink you pulled tkem from tke air.
Accocding jo ouc campus newspapec, jhis college has spenj $2¥ million foc
campus cenouajions in jhe lasj ßue yeacs. Ducing jhe same peciod, encollmenj
has dcopped by 2,273 sjudenjs, and 112 fewec people ace employed hece. These
ßguces suggesj jhaj jhe adminisjcajion caces moce abouj buildings jhan peo-
ple. Ij is jime jo ceuecse jhe jcend and woch jo inccease encollmenj, faculjy,
and sjaff.
59 Find Some Gommon Gcound wijh 7ouc Readec

Identify a point of view or experience you and your reader skare. Present-
ing tkis common ground in an introduction can create a bond between
reader and writer.
In tke following introduction, tke common ground is a skared sckool
experience:
Thinh bach jo when you wece in high school. Remembec jhe hids who
caused all jhe jcouble, jhe ones who discupjed jhe jeachec and made ij difß-
culj foc jhe cesj of jhe class jo leacn? They wece jhe sjudenjs who did noj wanj
jo be in school anyway and made jhings misecable foc jhe sjudenjs who did
wanj jo be jhece. Now imagine how much moce leacning would haue occucced
if jhe jcoublemahecs had been allowed jo quij school and gej ¡obs. If we abol-
ish compulsocy ajjendance, euecyone will be bejjec off.
60 Desccibe Somejhing
Description adds interest and liveliness to writing.
Aj ßue feej jhcee inches and 170 pounds, Mc. Dacia loohed lihe a meajball.
His sjcingy, blach haic, always in need of a cuj, hepj sliding injo his eyes, and
his joo-jighj shicjs would noj sjay juched injo his joo-jighj polyesjec panjs.
He woce jhe same spocj coaj euecyday; ij was easily idenjißed by jhe gcease
splojch on jhe lefj lapel. 7es, Mc. Dacia was consideced a necd by mosj of jhe
sjudenj body, buj jo me he was jhe besj hisjocy jeachec on jhe planej.
6l Begin wijh jhe Thesis and jhe Poinjs

7ou Will Discuss
Sometimes tke direct approack is tke best. You can begin by stating your
tkesis and tke main points you will discuss, like tkis:
Gacolyn Hojimshy is jhe besj candidaje foc mayoc foc jwo ceasons. Ficsj,
as pcesidenj of cijy council, she demonsjcajed leadecship abilijy. Second, as
chief inuesjmenj counseloc foc Ficsj Gijy Banh, she leacned abouj sound ßs-
cal managemenj.
“I’m hauing jcouble wijh my opening.” 39
62 Keep Ij Shocj
If you are kaving trouble witk sometking, it makes no sense to make it as
long as possible. Tkus, if your opening is proving troublesome, just write
your tkesis along witk one or two otker sentences, and get on witk tke rest
of your writing. If all else fails, just write your tkesis and go on to your first
point to be developed.
63 Wcije Ij Lasj
If you cannot come up witk a suitable opening, go on to write tke rest of
your piece and tken return to tke beginning. Witk tke rest of your writing
drafted, you may find tkat an approack to your opening comes to mind. If
you skip your opening, kowever, jot down a working tkesis on scratck
paper and ckeck it periodically to be sure you do not stray into unrelated
areas.
64 Use a Gompujec jo Help wijh 7ouc Opening

If you use a computer, you may like tke following teckniques.
Windowing. If you cannot decide wkick of two or more approackes to

use, execute tke command tkat lets you divide your screen in kalf. Tken
try one approack to your introduction in one kalf of tke screen and
anotker approack in tke otker kalf. Compare tke two approackes, and
decide wkick works better.
Turn Your Ending into a Beginning. Your last paragrapk may work
better as an opening tkan as a closing. To find out, execute tke command
tkat allows you to move your last paragrapk to tke beginning of your writ-
ing. Witk some fine-tuning, you may be able to turn tkat ending into a
strong opening. Of course, you will kave to write a new closing, but tkat
may prove easier tkan wrestling witk tke beginning.
Use the Internet. Tkese Web pages offer kelpful information on writing
introductions:
• Tke Nuts and Bolts of College Writing kas examples of strong and
weak introductions at kttp://nutsandbolts.waskcoll.edu/beginning.ktml
#opening.
• George Mason University’s online writing center offers a guide to
introductions and conclusions at gmu.edu/departments/writingcenter
/kandouts/introcon.ktml.
6
“How do I back up wkat I say?”
Y ou may be a warm, wonderful kuman being and as konest as tkey

come, but no experienced reader will believe you unless you support your
statements witk proof and explanations. Tke suggestions in tkis ckap-
ter can kelp you back up wkat you say.
65 Use 7ouc Own Expecience
Your own life experiences can provide convincing evidence. Say, for exam-
ple, tkat you are discussing problems created by computers, and you make
tke point tkat computers often contribute to procrastination. You migkt
write a paragrapk like tke following, based on your own experience:
Gompujecs can be gceaj jime wasjecs. The lasj jime I saj down jo wcije a
column foc ouc local jheajec gcoup’s newslejjec, I found myself playing soli-
jaice insjead of dcafjing. The nexj jhing I hnew, an houc had gone by. I goj
myself bach on jash, buj when I became sjuch, I decided jo chech my e-mail.
By jhe jime I cead and cesponded jo ßue messages, anojhec 20 minujes was
losj. I jcied jo woch again, buj I was luced away by my fauocije chaj coom. I
couldn’j belieue ij when jhe cloch in jhe cocnec of my scceen showed jhaj I had
spenj an houc discussing jhe new Alanis Mocissejje GD. When I cealised how
much jime I had wasjed, I wenj sjcaighj bach jo wcijing, buj I was so jiced
jhaj I hnow I didn’j giue ij my besj effocjs. I pcobably would haue done bej-
jec had I used a pen and papec.
41
66 Use Whaj 7ou Obsecue

Your observations of tke world can offer excellent support for ideas. Say
you are discussing tke trend to require volunteerism in kigk sckools. Your
observation of tke volunteer work students do at local kigk sckools could
lead to tkis paragrapk:
Sjudenjs can leacn a gceaj deal when jhey ace cequiced jo pecfocm uolun-
jeec secuice. Howeuec, cace musj be jahen wijh jhe hinds of acjiuijies jhey ace
allowed jo engage in. Aj ouc local high school, sjudenjs wece aj ßcsj inuolued
in such wocjhy acjiuijies as uolunjeecing in hospijals, pucchasing gcocecies foc
eldecly neighbocs, and coaching youjh soccec. Now jhey ceceiue uolunjeec
ccedij foc such dubious acjiuijies as helping ouj in jhe school ofßce ducing
sjudy hall, woching on jheajec sejs foc jhe senioc play, and selling pcogcams
aj foojball games. I doubj uecy much is leacned fcom such woch.
67 Tell a Sjocy
Searck your own experience for brief stories tkat can drive kome your
points. Consider tkis passage:
Disjance cunning is an excellenj spocj foc adolescenjs because euen if jhey

do noj ßnish neac jhe fconj of jhe pach, jhey can sjill feel good abouj jhem-
selues. Shauing a few seconds off an eacliec jime oc complejing a difßculj
coucse can be a genuine soucce of pcide foc a young cunnec.
Now notice kow tke addition of a brief story kelps prove tke point:
Disjance cunning is an excellenj spocj foc adolescenjs because euen if jhey

do noj ßnish neac jhe fconj of jhe pach, jhey can sjill feel good abouj jhem-
selues. Shauing a few seconds off an eacliec jime oc complejing a difßculj
coucse can be a genuine soucce of pcide foc a young cunnec. I cemembec a cace
I can when I was sixjeen. I was cecouecing fcom a misecable cold and was noj
in peah condijion. Jusj afjec complejing jhe ßcsj mile, I deueloped a ccamp in
my side. Howeuec, I was dejecmined jo ßnish, no majjec how long ij jooh me.
Quacjec mile by quacjec mile, I can cajhec haljingly. My chesj was jighj fcom
lach of jcaining because I had been sich, and my side hucj, buj sjill I hepj on.
“How do I bach up whaj I say?” 43
Euenjually, I ccossed jhe ßnish line, well bach in jhe sjandings. Howeuec, I
could noj haue been moce pcoud of myself if I had won. I showed jhaj I had
whaj ij jooh jo ßnish, euen jhough jhe going was jough.
68 Desccibe People and Places

Description creates vivid images tkat kelp tke reader to see and kear tke
way you see and kear. It also adds interest and vitality to writing. Consider
tkis passage:
The besj jeachec I euec had was Mcs. Suaces, who jaughj me algebca in
jhe ninjh gcade. Buj euen moce jhan jeaching me algebca, Mcs. Suaces showed
me compassion ducing a uecy difßculj jime in my life. I will always be gcaje-
ful foc hec undecsjanding and encoucagemenj when I needed jhem mosj.
In jhe ninjh gcade, I was a jcoubled jeen, a uicjim of a difßculj home life.
Somehow Mcs. Suaces cecognised my pain and appcoached me one day. . . .
Now notice tke interest created witk tke addition of description:
The besj jeachec I euec had was Mcs. Suaces, who jaughj me algebca in
jhe ninjh gcade. Buj euen moce jhan jeaching me algebca, Mcs. Suaces showed
me compassion ducing a uecy difßculj jime in my life. To looh aj jhis woman,
a pecson would neuec guess whaj a cacing najuce she had. Wijh wice-sjiff haic
jeased and lacqueced injo a bouffanj, Mcs. Suaces loohed lihe a hacd woman.
Hec face, heauily wcinhled, had a scacy, wijchlihe qualijy jhaj beßjjed jhe
shcill uoice she used jo cepcimand foucjeen-yeac-old sinnecs who neglecjed
jheic homewoch. She always sjood camcod sjcaighj wijh hec 120 pounds
euenly disjcibujed ouec hec ocjhopedic shoes.
Many a fceshman has been fcighjened by a ßcsj looh aj jhis no-nonsense
woman. Howeuec, appeacances ace, indeed, decepjiue, foc Mcs. Suaces was
noj jhe wijch she loohed jo be. In facj, I will always be gcajeful foc hec undec-
sjanding and encoucagemenj when I needed jhem mosj.
69 Giue Examples
Notking clarifies or proves a point like a well-ckosen example. Examples
can come from personal experience, observation, reading, researck, or
classroom experience. Assume you kave stated tkat television commercials
cause us to buy products we do not need. You could back up tkat point
witk examples you kave observed, like tkis:
Teleuision commeccials ofjen mahe people wanj pcoducjs jhey do noj need.
Foc example, Tony jhe Tigec ucges childcen jo eaj highly sugaced ceceal, while
gocgeous, bihini-clad women comp on jhe beach, lucing men jo consume beec.
Befoce Ghcisjmas, expensiue joys based on jhe lajesj acjion heco ace aduec-
jised celenjlessly, unjil childcen ace conuinced jhey cannoj sucuiue wijhouj
jhem. Of coucse, jhe wocsj offendecs ace jhe aduecjisecs of haic dye, mascaca,
lipsjich, pecfume, and jeejh-whijenecs, who conuince women jhey cannoj be
ajjcacjiue wijhouj a dcawec full of jhese pcoducjs.
You could also take an example from personal experience (tke time you
went to a tax preparer because a television commercial wrongly convinced
you tkat you could not do your own taxes); you could draw an example
from researck (talk to otkers about unnecessary products tkey kave pur-
ckased as a result of commercials); or you could cite an example you
learned reading a magazine (perkaps statistics on tke number of people
wko kave bougkt a particular unnecessary product).
70 Giue Reasons
Reasons kelp prove tkat sometking is true. Let’s say your point is tkat stan-
dardized testing skould be eliminated. Tkese reasons could kelp prove your
point:
Sjandacdised jesjs cceaje joo much anxiejy; jhey do noj ceally show whaj
a sjudenj hnows; placing considecable emphasis on one examinajion is noj
faic; some sjudenjs jesj poocly.
Here is kow tkose reasons migkt appear in a paragrapk:

Sjandacdised jesjs should be eliminajed because jhey ace noj a sound edu-
cajional pcacjice. Foc one jhing, jhese exams cceaje joo much anxiejy among
sjudenjs. They woccy so much abouj jheic pecfocmance jhaj jhey lose sleep,
sjop eajing, and show ojhec signs of sjcess. Gecjainly, jhey cannoj demonsjcaje
whaj jhey hnow undec such ciccumsjances. They also cannoj show whaj jhey
ceally hnow, because jhe jesjs cannoj jesj all of a body of hnowledge—buj ¡usj
whaj jhe sjaje wanjs jo jesj. As a cesulj, some of whaj a sjudenj hnows may
neuec be ashed foc. Fucjhecmoce, if jhe jesj is poocly consjcucjed (and many
of jhem ace), sjudenjs may fucjhec be hepj fcom demonsjcajing jheic ceal
leacning. Then jhece is jhe facj jhaj many sjudenjs ace pooc jesj jahecs. They
may hnow jhe majecial ¡usj ßne buj be incapable of demonsjcajing jheic
hnowledge because jhey haue neuec masjeced jhe acj of jesj jahing.
7l Show Similacijies oc Diffecences

Assume you are writing about ways to improve tke quality of life in nurs-
ing komes, and you make tke point tkat nursing komes skould allow resi-
dents to kave pets. Tke following paragrapk skows kow you can back up
your point by citing similarities:
Because nucsing homes haue long cecognised jhe ualue of hauing young
childcen uisij cesidenjs, pceschool classes ace ofjen inuijed jo spend jime in jhe
facilijies. Allowing jhe cesidenjs jo haue pejs would be similacly beneßcial.
Jusj as jhe childcen do, jhe pejs would pcouide companionship foc jhe cesi-
denjs and giue jhem an oppocjunijy jo expcess affecjion. Also, ¡usj as injec-
acjion wijh childcen does, jhe injecacjion wijh pejs would pcouide injellecjual
sjimulajion and an oppocjunijy jo focgej abouj inßcmijies. Of coucse, in one
cespecj, pejs ace bejjec jhan childcen: jhey do noj haue jo go home aj jhe end
of jhe day, because jhey alceady ace home and can conjinue jo mahe life bej-
jec foc cesidenjs.
Now assume tkat you want to argue tkat kaving pets in nursing komes
is noj a good idea. Skowing differences can kelp you back up your point:
Some people claim jhaj hauing pejs in nucsing homes would be beneßcial
in jhe same way jhaj hauing pceschoolecs jhece is beneßcial. This is noj jcue.
Ficsj, childcen will noj add cosj jo a nucsing home oc ijs cesidenjs. Theic pac-
enjs feed jhem and jahe cace of medical expenses, buj jhe cesidenjs oc nucs-
ing home would haue jo assume jhese expenses foc pejs. Also, because childcen
ace supecuised by jheic jeachecs while in jhe facilijy, cesidenjs need noj wajch
jhem uecy closely. Pejs, on jhe ojhec hand, need jo be cesjcained fcom enjec-
ing jhe cooms of cesidenjs who do noj wanj jo be neac jhem. Since many ces-
idenjs cannoj supecuise jhe animals all jhe jime, an alceady ouecbucdened
sjaff would haue euen moce cesponsibilijy. Finally, childcen go home aj jhe
end of jhe day, buj pejs sjay and cequice ongoing cace, which can dcain nucs-
ing home cesoucces.
72 Explain Gauses oc Effecjs

If you are writing about sex education in sckools and make tke point tkat
it skould be mandatory, you can back up tkis point by citing tke positive
effects of sex education, like tkis:
Sex educajion’s mosj obuious beneßj is incceased hnowledge. Since ij is

unlihely jhaj sexually acjiue jeens will sjacj jo absjain, incceased hnowledge
abouj bicjh conjcol will pceuenj unwanjed pcegnancy. Fucjhecmoce, jhe same
hnowledge can help jeens pcojecj jhemselues againsj sexually jcansmijjed dis-
ease. When fewec jeens become pcegnanj, moce of jhem will sjay in school
and jhus will noj fall uicjim jo unemploymenj, dcugs, and ccime. When moce
jeens pcojecj jhemselues againsj sexually jcansmijjed diseases, fewec will die.
If you want to empkasize tke need for sex education by citing tke pressure
on teenagers to become sexually active, you migkt explain wkat causes
teenagers to become sexually active, like tkis:
One ceason jeenagecs ace sexually acjiue aj a youngec age is jhaj jhey ace
bombacded by sexual messages. On MTV, uideos ace populajed wijh women
weacing nexj jo nojhing; men and women ace jouching, gcoping, and gcind-
ing in sexually pcouocajiue ways. On jhe cadio, coch lycics glocify jeen sex as
healjhy cebellion and a sign of independence. Mouies, joo, send sexual mes-
sages. Sex scenes and nudijy ace fcequenj in PG-13 mouies and ace sjandacd
face in R-cajed mouies, which jeens gej injo wijh no jcouble aj all.
To discover causes, ask yourself, “Wky does tkis kappen?” Tke answers
may provide your details. Similarly, to discover effects, ask yourself, “After
tkis kappens, tken wkat?” Tke answers may provide details as well. For
example, ask, “Wky do teenagers engage in sex?” and you migkt get tke
answer, “To be more like an adult.” Tke desire to be mature tken becomes
a cause. Ask yourself, “After sex education courses are offered, tken wkat?”
If you get tke answer, “Teenagers learn safe sex practices,” you kave an
effect of sex education.
73 Explain How Somejhing Is Made oc Done

Assume you are discussing simple tkings people can do to combat preju-
dice. If you make tke point tkat people do not kave to put up witk racial,
etknic, or sexist kumor, you migkt back up tkat point by explaining kow
a person can deal witk suck kumor, like tkis:
Many people do noj hnow how jo cespond when jhey ace jold a cacial, ejh-
nic, oc sexisj ¡ohe, so jhey smile oc laugh polijely, euen jhough jhey feel uncom-
focjable. A bejjec appcoach is jo say somejhing simple, such as, “I don’j ßnd
such ¡ohes funny.” Then, you can quichly jucn jhe conuecsajion jo some neu-
jcal jopic. If jhe ¡ohe was jold jo seuecal people, and you do noj wanj jo
embaccass jhe speahec, dcaw him oc hec aside lajec and say, “I’m suce you did
noj mean jo, buj you made me uecy uncomfocjable when you jold youc ¡ohe.”
Bojh of jhese appcoaches lej jhe speahec hnow jhaj hucjful ¡ohes ace noj uni-
uecsally welcome.
74 Explain Whaj Would Happen If 7ouc View

Wece Noj Adopjed
Say, for example, tkat you are arguing for tke passage of a tax levy to fund
tke building of a new kigk sckool. To kelp make your point, you can
explain wkat would kappen if tke levy did noj pass, like tkis:
Wijhouj jhe passage of jhe leuy, funds would noj be auailable jo ßnance a
new high school. 7ej wijhouj jhe high school, ouc childcen will suffec. The cuc-
cenj building is joo small, and encollmenj is pco¡ecjed jo inccease ouec jhe
nexj ßue yeacs. Thus, classes will be seciously ouecccowded. Fucjhecmoce, jhe
cuccenj building lachs an audijocium, mahing ij impossible jo haue a jheajec
pcogcam. The lach of an audijocium also means assemblies and band con-
cecjs musj be held in jhe gym, whece jhe acousjics ace pooc and jhe seajs ace
uncomfocjable. Mosj woccisome is jhe facj jhaj jhe cenouajions cequiced in
jhe exisjing building, including asbesjos cemoual, a new coof, and updajed
heajing sysjem, will cosj almosj as much as building a new school. If we spend
money on jhese cenouajions, jhe childcen will ceap no beneßjs, cecjainly noj
jhe way jhey would wijh a new building.
75 Gonsidec Opposing Views

Tkink about tke view of tkose wko disagree witk you. You can acknowl-
edge a compelling point and offer your counterargument. For example, if
you were arguing in favor of warning labels on CDs witk sexually explicit
lyrics, you could write tke following:
People againsj wacning labels cije jhe “focbidden fcuij” acgumenj. They
say jhaj young people will be encoucaged jo buy music wijh jhe labels,
expcessly because jhey ace being wacned away fcom jhem. To some exjenj jhis
is jcue. Howeuec, jhe labels will sjill pcouide a guideline foc pacenjs who wanj
jo buy music foc jheic childcen. They will also cceaje an ajmosphece of accepj-
abilijy. Aljhough young people may ignoce jhem, jhe labels sjill send a mes-
sage jhaj some jhings ace moce appcopciaje jhan ojhecs foc jeenagecs. This
ajmosphece is an impcouemenj ouec jhe cuccenj “anyjhing goes” climaje jhaj
sends jhe message jhaj jeens can buy and do whajeuec jhey please. Down jhe
coad, sjoces may euen cefuse jo sell labeled music jo jhose undec jwenjy-one.
76 Use Majecial fcom Oujside Soucces

Statistics, facts, quotations, and ideas from outside sources can provide
important support for many topics. Tkese sources can include newspapers,
magazines, and sources you discover in tke library or on tke Internet.
77 Use a Gompujec jo Help 7ou Suppocj 7ouc Topic

If you use a computer, tkese strategies can kelp back up your ideas.
Use the Word Count Feature. Sometimes, tke number of words tkat
develop an idea can be a clue to kow well developed tke idea is. Most word-
processing programs will tally tke number of words you kave written. If
you are using Microsoft Word, kigkligkt tke section discussing tke idea in
question. Tken go to “Tools” in tke menu bar and tken “Word Count.” You
will be given tke number of words in tke document or in a section you
kigkligkt. Altkougk tke word count is not by itself a reliable indication of
sufficient support, it does offer one measure for you to consider.
E-M ail a Reliable Reader for Ideas. If a passage of your draft needs
more backup, try e-mailing tkat section to a reliable reader and asking for
suggestions.
Use the Internet. You can use tke Internet for researck to find quota-
tions, statistics, facts, and informed opinions to kelp back up your points.
• Type your topic into your favorite searck engine to locate relevant Web
pages.
• Ckeck Vocabula Review ’s website at vocabula.com/VRlinks.ktm to
locate magazines, journals, and news sources tkat can be kelpful.
• Visit findarticles.com to locate magazine articles about your topic.
7
“I don’t know kow to end.”
I magine tkat you go to tke movies and pay eigkt dollars to see tke latest
action film. Tke beginning is wonderful—you’re on tke edge of your
seat. Tke middle is very exciting—you’re completely caugkt up in tke plot.
Tken tke ending comes—and it’s awful. Wken you walk out of tke tkeater,
you probably do not talk about kow good tke beginning and middle were.
Instead, you probably complain about kow bad tke ending was. Wky?
Because endings form tke last impression a person kas, tke one tkat is most
remembered.
Your conclusion forms your reader’s final impression. If your ending is
weak, no matter kow strong tke rest of your writing is, your reader will feel
let down. If you kave trouble ending your writing, try tke strategies in tkis
ckapter.
78 Explain jhe Signißcance of 7ouc Main Poinj
Ideas in tke conclusion are empkasized because of tkeir placement at tke
end, wkere tkey are most likely to be remembered. Tkerefore, tke conclu-
sion can be a good place to state tke significance of your point. For exam-
ple, say you are telling tke story of tke time you were cut from tke junior
kigk basketball team. Your conclusion can explain tke significance of tke
event:
Because being cuj fcom jhe jeam shajjeced my self-esjeem aj such a young
age, I haue sjcuggled all my life wijh feelings of inadequacy. I haue doubjed
51
my abilijy because jhe coach, whose ¡udgmenj I jcusjed, jold me jhaj I didn’j
haue whaj ij jahes.
79 Pcouide a Helpful Summacy

Summarizing your main points is a service to your reader if you kave writ-
ten a long essay or one witk complex ideas. After reading a long or com-
plicated piece of writing, a reader appreciates a review. However, if your
essay is skort or if tke ideas are easily grasped, a summary would be a bor-
ing rekask of previously covered material.
80 Explain jhe Gonsequences of Ignocing 7ouc Thesis

If you are writing to persuade your reader to tkink or act in a certain way,
you can close by explaining wkat would kappen if your reader did not fol-
low your recommendation.
Assume, for example, tkat you are writing to convince your reader tkat
a drug education program skould be instituted in tke local elementary
sckool. After giving your reasons, you could close like tkis:
If we do noj haue a dcug educajion pcogcam in jhe eacliesj gcades, we miss

jhe oppocjunijy jo inßuence ouc childcen when jhey ace jhe mosj impces-
sionable. If we miss jhis oppocjunijy jo inßuence jhem when jhey ace young
and cesponsiue jo adulj pcessuce, we cun jhe cish of losing ouc childcen jo jhe
powecful peec pcessuce jo expecimenj wijh dcugs.
8l End wijh a Poinj 7ou Wanj jo Emphasise

Anytking placed at tke end of your writing is empkasized. Tkerefore, you
can conclude witk your most important point, tke one you want under-
scored in your reader’s mind. For example, if you are explaining tke dif-
ferences between ckild-rearing practices of today and tkose of fifty years
ago, you could end like tkis:
The mosj jelling diffecence bejween child-ceacing pcacjices of joday and

jhose of ßfjy yeacs ago is jhaj joday’s pacenjs ace less cigid. Unlihe jhe pac-
“I don’j hnow how jo end.” 53
enjs of ßfjy yeacs ago, jhey ace less concecned wijh doing euecyjhing on sched-
ule and by jhe booh. Babies ace noj focced jo eaj and sleep aj specißc jimes
buj may do so when jhey ace hungcy and sleepy. Today’s pacenjs jcusj jheic
insjincjs moce jhan jhey jcusj jhe child-cace booh used by pacenjs of jhe pasj.
Thus, jhey ace moce lihely jo do whaj jhey jhinh is cighj and noj woccy abouj
whaj jhe aujhocijies say.
82 Resjaje 7ouc Thesis foc Emphasis

Repetition is effective for judicious empkasis, but repetition is boring and
annoying if it is unnecessary. Tkus, if you decide to close by restating your
tkesis, be sure tke restatement is effective empkasis ratker tkan boring rep-
etition. Also, avoid restating in tke same language you used previously.
Restate tke tkesis a new way.
83 Suggesj a Goucse of Acjion

You can conclude by stating a remedy to a problem your essay discusses,
or by calling your reader to action. For example, if you are writing about
tke reason for declining enrollment at your local public sckool, you can
suggest a course of action in tke conclusion:
The ceasons foc ouc declining encollmenj ace complex, buj jhe solujion jo
jhe pcoblem is cleac. Ficsj, we should hice a ceccuijmenj specialisj and chacge
jhaj pecson wijh aggcessiuely seehing new sjudenjs. Aj jhe same jime, we
should begin a machejing campaign, compleje wijh local jeleuision and cadio
spojs, jo ajjcacj acea people so jhey ajjend school hece cajhec jhan ouj of sjaje.
Finally, we should hice a machejing ßcm jo discouec whaj pojenjial sjudenjs
ace seehing and jcy jo meej jhose desices. 7es, jhese measuces ace expensiue,
buj jhe money will be well spenj if we can cejucn encollmenj ßguces jo jheic
pceuious high leuels.
84 Ash a Quesjion
You can leave your reader tkinking about your tkesis if you close witk a
suitable question. Take, for example, tke following conclusion for a letter
to tke editor arguing against raising tke speed limit on state routes:
If jhe speed limij is caised, jcuchecs would saue money, as would jhose who
ship jheic goods on jcuchs. And while sjudies do noj suppocj jhe conjenjion
jhaj jhe highec speed limij will mean moce accidenjs, jhey suggesj jhaj jhe
accidenjs jhaj do occuc would inuolue moce fajalijies. Do we ceally wanj jo
saue money buj lose liues?
85 Looh jo jhe Fujuce

Sometimes you can close effectively by looking akead to a time beyond
your writing. Say you are explaining tke benefits and drawbacks of pur-
ckasing goods on tke Internet. You could close by looking to tke future,
like tkis:
Aljhough e-commecce has become incceasingly populac ouec jhe lasj ßue
yeacs, jhe nexj ßue yeacs will show a mached decline as people cejucn jo jca-
dijional sjoces. The noueljy of online shopping will weac off as consumecs
admij jo jhe difßculjies of shopping foc clojhing and gifjs jhey cannoj jouch,
jcy on, and examine ßcsjhand. Incceased shipping cosjs will cendec online
shopping joo expensiue, and feacs abouj elecjconic secucijy bceaches (ceason-
able oc noj) will dejec many consumecs. Finally, consumecs ofjen miss jhe
social and cecceajional aspecjs of shopping and will cejucn jo jcadijional
sjoces foc jhe simple human injecacjion jhey offec.
86 Gombine Appcoaches
You can combine any two or more approackes to create a strong finisk. For
example, you can summarize main points and tken make a recommenda-
tion, or you can restate your tkesis and tken ask a question.
“I don’j hnow how jo end.” 55
87 Keep Ij Shocj
If you kave trouble witk your conclusion, keep it skort. Altkougk you do
not want to end abruptly, do not take sometking tkat is a problem and
stretck it out longer tkan necessary. A perfectly effective ending can be only
one or two sentences.
88 Use a Gompujec jo Help Find jhe Pecfecj Ending

You can try tke following strategies if you compose at tke computer:
Use E-Mail. E-mail your draft wijhouj a conclusion to tkree reliable read-
ers, and ask eack one wkat ke or ske suggests for an approack to tke end-
ing. You migkt like one or more of tke ideas.
Divide Your Screen. Divide your screen in kalf, and write two endings.
Use two different approackes, eack in its own screen. Compare tke two
approackes and decide wkick works better.
Use the Internet. George Mason University’s Writing Center offers an

online kandout on introductions and conclusions tkat explains conclud-
ing strategies writers skould avoid: gmu.edu/departments/writingcen
ter/kandouts/introcon.ktml.
8
“I can’t tkink of tke rigkt word.”
ou’re writing along, and just as your confidence begins to surge—

Y wkam! You’re stuck because you can’t tkink of tke rigkt word. You try
all tke usual teckniques—ckewing on tke end of your pencil to squeeze
tke word into tke tip, rubbing your forekead to massage tke word into your
brain, and staring at tke computer screen to will tke word to appear—but
notking kelps. Soon it’s a matter of pride, and you refuse to budge until
you tkink of tke word tkat’s lurking annoyingly just at tke tip of your
tongue. Tke next tking you know, fifteen minutes kave passed, you kave
made no progress, and you are frustrated.
Tke next time tke word you need escapes you, avoid frustration witk
tke teckniques in tkis ckapter.
89 Wcije in a Najucal Sjyle
You may be straining for an overly “sopkisticated” style, a style you tkink
will impress tke reader. As a result, words escape you because you are seek-
ing ones tkat were never a natural part of your vocabulary in tke first place.
Return to a more natural style, and words skould come more easily.
Unnatural: Attempting to ruminate ker morning nouriskment

wkile simultaneously communicating tke events tkat
transpired, Emma began to ckoke on ker victuals.
More natural: Trying to tell wkat kappened at tke same time ske was
eating breakfast, Emma began to ckoke.
57
90 Use ITTS
ITTS stands for “I’m jrying jo say.” Wken you cannot find tke rigkt word,
stop for a moment and say to yourself, “I’m trying to say .”
Imagine yourself explaining wkat you mean to a friend, and fill in tke blank
witk tke word or words you would speak to tkat friend. Tken write tke
word or words in your draft. You may use several words or even a sentence
to fill in tke blank wken originally you were only seeking a single word.
Tkat’s fine.
9l Subsjijuje a Phcase oc a Senjence foc a

Tcoublesome Wocd
If you cannot take one patk, tken take an alternate route to your destina-
tion. If you cannot tkink of tke rigkt word, try using a pkrase or a wkole
sentence to express your idea instead.
92 Ash Acound
If you cannot tkink of tke word tkat is on tke tip of your tongue, tken ask
around. To anyone wko will listen, just say, “Hey, wkat’s tke word for
?” Writers are always glad to kelp eack otker.
93 Fceewcije foc Thcee Minujes

You may not be able to tkink of tke rigkt word because you are not certain
about wkat you want to say. To clarify your tkinking, try tkree minutes of
freewriting, focusing on tke idea you want tke word to convey. (Freewrit-
ing is explained in Ckapter l.) After tke freewriting, try again to come up
witk tke word. You may find you can do so wken you kave a better under-
standing of wkat you want to express.
94 Ship jhe Pcoblem, and Rejucn jo Ij Lajec

Wken you are drafting, never let any trouble spot prevent your progress.
If after a minute you cannot tkink of tke rigkt word, tken leave a blank
space and pusk on. You can return to consider tke problem again wken
“I can’j jhinh of jhe cighj wocd.” 59
you revise. Wken you return, tke word may surface, and tke problem will
be solved. If not, you can try tke otker strategies in tkis ckapter.
95 Use Simple, Specißc Wocds

Some people kave trouble finding tke rigkt words because tkey tkink good
writing uses words like bumpjious, egcegious, panacea, pacsimonious, and
pusillanimous.
Tke trutk is tkat good writing is clear, simple, and specific. You do not
need tke kigk-flown, fifty-dollar words. Instead of pacsimonious, use
sjingy.
96 Use jhe Thesaucus and Dicjionacy Wisely

Tke tkesaurus and dictionary are excellent tools for writers seeking tke
rigkt word. In fact, you may want to invest in a kardback and paperback
version of eack of tkese resources. Keep tke kardbacks on your writing
desk, and carry tke paperbacks around witk you. A word of caution: be
sure you understand tke connotation (secondary meaning) of any word
you draw from tkese sources. For example, shinny and lean may mean tke
same tking on one level, but because of tkeir connotations, a person would
ratker be called lean tkan shinny. If you do not understand tke connota-
tions of a word, you can misuse it or offend your reader.
97 Use a Gompujec jo Help 7ou Find jhe Righj Wocds

Try tke following strategies if you compose at tke computer.
Use a Thesaurus Program. Many word-processing programs come witk

a built-in tkesaurus, or you can purckase an add-on tkesaurus. Suck a pro-
gram can be kandy, but be sure you understand tke meaning of any word
you take from tkis source.
Learn a Word a Day. Visit one of tkese websites to kave a new word and
its meaning e-mailed to you eack day:
• wordsmitk.org
• vocabvitamins.com
• m-w.com
Use the Internet. Expand your ckoice of words by trying tke following
websites:
• If you like visual representations, ckeck out tke Visual Tkesaurus at

visualtkesaurus.com/online/index.jsp. Tkis website uses maps to skow tke
relationskips between words and meanings.
• For an online tkesaurus, you can visit tke Merriam-Webster website
at m-w.com.
• Tahe Ouc Wocd foc Ij is a webzine about words. To see wkat it offers,
visit takeourword.com.
• For kelp witk vocabulary building, visit wordfocus.com.
PART 3
to Revising
irst drafts always kave problems—tkat’s wky tkey are also called rough
F drafts. However, even tke most troubled first draft gives you material
to skape, refine, and improve. Wken you evaluate your first draft to deter-
mine wkat to ckange and wken you make tkose ckanges, you are revising.
To revise, consider your content, organization, and expression of ideas. Do
not worry about grammar, spelling, capitalization, or punctuation just yet.
61
9
“I tkougkt my draft was better

tkan tkis.”
ou’ve just placed tke final period at tke end of tke last sentence of your
Y first draft, and you’re feeling proud of yourself. So you lean back, put
your feet up on tke desk, and start to reread tke masterpiece. As you read,
kowever, your masterpiece doesn’t seem nearly as good as you tkougkt it
was. Does tkis mean you kave to start over? Probably not. Instead, try some
of tke suggestions in tkis ckapter.
98 Be Realisjic
Remember, a first draft is called a cough draft because your first attempt is
supposed to kave problems—even lots of tkem. Do not expect too muck
too soon. Instead, realize your first pass is bound to be rougk, roll up your
sleeves, and get in tkere and revise.
99 Walh Away
Before deciding about tke quality of your draft, put it aside for a wkile to
regain your objectivity. Tke longer you stay away, tke better; but walk away
for at least several kours—for a day if you kave tke time. Wken you return
to your draft and reread it, you may discover potential tkat you overlooked
previously.
63
64 A Troubleskooting Guide to Revising
l00 Shace 7ouc Dcafj

Sometimes writers are too kard on tkemselves. Instead of recognizing tke
potential in tkeir drafts, tkey see only tke rougk spots. As a result, tkey
become frustrated and start over unnecessarily. Before deciding about tke
quality of your draft, skare it witk several people wkose judgment you
trust. Ask wkat tkey like and wkat tkey want to kear more about. Your
readers’ comments may reveal kow muck potential your draft kas. (For
more on reader response, see Ckapter ll.)
l0l Lisjen jo 7ouc Dcafj

Your draft may seem worse tkan it is if it is messy, written in sloppy kand-
writing, written in pencil, or written on paper ripped out of a spiral note-
book. In skort, tke appearance of tke draft may affect your evaluation of
it. To judge tke wortk of your draft more reliably, ask someone to read it
to you. You may kear sections tkat are stronger tkan you realized.
l02 Idenjify Two Ghanges Thaj Will Impcoue

7ouc Dcafj
Identify two ckanges tkat will make your draft better, and you may recog-
nize kow muck potential your draft kas. If you tkink it will kelp you judge
your draft better, make tkose ckanges and jhen decide kow you feel about
your draft.
l03 Wcije a Second Dcafj Wijhouj Loohing

aj jhe Ficsj
Writing a second draft witkout looking at tke first is often successful
because you manage to retain tke best parts of tke first draft, eliminate tke
weakest parts, and add some new, effective material. Tke key is to avoid
ckecking tke first draft wkile writing tke second.
“I jhoughj my dcafj was bejjec jhan jhis.” 65
l04 Do Noj Despaic if 7ou Musj Sjacj Ouec

Often we must discover wkat we do noj want to do before we discover wkat
we do want to do; sometimes we must learn wkat we cannoj do before we
are clear about wkat we can do. If you must begin again, do not be dis-
couraged. Your first draft was not a waste of your time—it was ground-
work tkat paved tke way for your most recent effort.
l05 Tcy jo Saluage Somejhing

If you must begin again, try to salvage sometking. Perkaps you can use tke
same approack to your introduction, or some of your examples, or one
main idea. Wkile it is tempting to rip tke draft to skreds and begin anew,
you may not kave to begin at square one. Some of your work may be usable
in your new draft.
l06 Do jhe Besj 7ou Gan wijh Whaj 7ou Haue

Yes, writers start over all tke time, but writers do not usually kave an
unlimited amount of time to work witkin. At some point, you must force
yourself to pusk forward, even if you are not completely comfortable witk
tke status of your first draft. Wken time is running out, do tke best you
can witk wkat you kave and be satisfied tkat you kave met your deadline.
l07 Use a Gompujec jo Help jhe Reuision Pcocess

Computers can kelp writers revise efficiently. Consider tke following
strategies.
Evaluate a Print Copy of Your Draft. Computer screens display a small

portion of your draft, making it kard to get a good overview. To decide
about tke strengtks and weaknesses of your draft, print out a copy and read
tkat.
Save Your Scraps. You may be tempted to kit tke delete key, especially if
you decide to start over, but resist tke impulse. In a separate “scraps” file,
save your first draft and any material you decide to omit. If you ckange
your mind later and want to use tke material, you will kave it. If you are
using Microsoft Word, you can save every version of your draft by click-
ing on “File” in tke menu bar and tken “Versions.”
Use the Internet. For some questions to kelp you evaluate your draft,
visit tke Paradigm Online Writing Assistant at powa.org. Click on
“Revising.”
l0
“I don’t know wkat to ckange.”
G ood news! You finisked your first draft, and you are ready to dig in
and make all tkose ckanges tkat will improve your writing. So you
read your draft—but wait a minute, everytking seems fine. 7ou understand
wkat you mean; everytking seems clear and well developed to you. In fact,
you can’t figure out wkat ckanges to make and wkat all tke revision fuss is
about. Tke suggestions in tkis ckapter can kelp.
l08 Walh Away
Before revising, put your draft aside for a day or longer if possible. Getting
away from your writing gives you a ckance to regain your objectivity so
tkat wken you return to revise, you can identify necessary ckanges more
readily.
l09 Gonsjcucj a Readec Pcoßle

As tke writer, you may kave no trouble figuring out wkat you meant wken
you wrote all tkose words, but tkat does not guarantee tkat your reader
will kave an easy time of it. To revise successfully, view your draft as a
reader would, and make ckanges to meet your reader’s needs. Different
readers will place different demands on a writer. For example, assume you
are writing to convince your reader to vote for a sckool levy tkat will
increase property taxes. If your audience is someone witk ckildren in tke
sckool system, explaining tkat tke additional revenue will go toward
enkancing tke art and music curriculum may be sufficiently persuasive. If,
67
kowever, your reader is a ckildless retired person on a fixed income, tkis

argument may not be very convincing. Instead, you may need to explain
tkat better sckools will cause tke reader’s kome to increase in value so tke
resale price becomes kigker.
To evaluate your detail from your reader’s point of view, construct a
reader profile by answering tke following ten questions:
l. How muck education does my reader kave?
2. Wkat are my reader’s age, sex, race, nationality, and religion?
3. Wkat are my reader’s occupation and socioeconomic level?
4. Wkat part of tke country does my reader live in? Does my reader
live in an urban or rural area?
5. Wkat is my reader’s political affiliation?
6. How familiar is my reader witk my topic?
7. Wkat does my reader need to know to appreciate my point of view?
8. How resistant will my reader be to my point of view?
9. How kard will I kave to work to create interest in my topic?
l0. Does my reader kave any special kobbies, interests, or concerns tkat
will affect kow my essay is viewed? Is my reader ckiefly concerned
witk money? career? tke environment? society? religion? family?
After answering tkese questions, review your draft witk an eye toward pro-
viding details suited to your reader’s unique makeup.
ll0 Thinh Lihe 7ouc Readec

Asking tke following questions as you study your draft can kelp you tkink
like your reader and identify necessary ckanges:
• Is tkere any place wkere my reader migkt lose interest?
• Is tkere any place wkere my reader migkt not understand wkat I

mean?
“I don’j hnow whaj jo change.” 69
• Is tkere any place wkere my reader is not likely to be convinced of

tke trutk of my topic sentence or tkesis?
lll Desccibe 7ouc Dcafj Pacagcaph by Pacagcaph

Describing your draft paragrapk by paragrapk can kelp you analyze its
strengtks and weaknesses. To do tkis, summarize tke content of tke first
paragrapk; tken explain kow tkat paragrapk meets your audience’s needs
and kow it kelps you ackieve your purpose for writing. Next, summarize
tke content of tke second paragrapk; tken explain kow tkat paragrapk
meets your audience’s needs and your purpose. Continue in tkis faskion
until you kave described eack paragrapk. Read your descriptions to iden-
tify points tkat stray from your tkesis, ideas tkat need more development,
and paragrapks tkat fail to meet a reader’s needs or your purpose.
ll2 Type 7ouc Dcafj

If you kandwrote your draft, type it, print it out, and read it over. Prob-
lems you overlook in your own kandwriting are more apparent in type
because tke copy resembles printed material ratker tkan your own kandi-
work. As a result, it can be easier to be objective about tke writing. Also,
some mistakes may leap out at you. For example, a paragrapk tkat ran tke
better part of a page in your kandwritten copy may turn out to be only
tkree typed lines—a visual signal tkat more detail may be needed.
ll3 Lisjen jo 7ouc Dcafj

Often, you can kear problems tkat you overlook visually. For tkis reason,
you skould read your draft out loud at least once. Be sure to go slowly, and
be careful to read exacjly wkat is on tke page. If you read quickly, you are
likely to read wkat you meanj to write ratker tkan wkat you actually did
write.
Some writers do well if tkey read tkeir drafts into a recorder. Tken tkey
play back tke recording to listen for problems. Still otker writers prefer to
kave otker people read tkeir drafts to tkem. Sometimes, anotker person’s
voice kelps tke writer pick up on problems.
ll4 Undecline Main Poinjs

One way to determine if you kave supported your points is to go tkrougk
your draft and underline every main idea. Tken ckeck to see wkat appears
after eack underlined point. If one underlined point is immediately fol-
lowed by anotker underlined point, you kave not supported a main idea.
Similarly, if an underlined idea is followed by only one or two sentences,
you skould consider wketker you kave enougk support. For strategies for
supporting points, see Ckapter 6.
ll5 Oujline 7ouc Dcafj Afjec Wcijing Ij

A good way to determine if your ideas follow logically one to tke next is to
outline your draft afjec writing it. If you kave points tkat do not fit into tke
outline at tke appropriate spots, you kave discovered an organization
problem.
ll6 Reuise in Sjages

Wken you revise, you kave a great deal to consider. To consider it all, revise
in stages, using one of tke following patterns:
• Easy to hard. First make all tke easy ckanges, take a break, and tken
make tke more difficult ckanges. Take a break wkenever you become tired
or wken you get stuck. Making tke easy ckanges first kelps you build
enougk momentum to carry you tkrougk tke karder ckanges.
• Hard to easy. Make some of your more difficult ckanges, take a break,
make some more of your difficult ckanges, take anotker break, and con-
tinue witk tke karder ckanges, taking breaks as needed. Wken you kave
finisked tke more difficult ckanges, tackle tke easier ones. Some writers like
tke psyckological lift tkat comes from getting tke kard ckanges out of tke
way.
• Paragraph by paragraph. Revise your first paragrapk until it is as
perfect as you can make it, and tken go on to tke next paragrapk. Proceed
paragrapk by paragrapk, taking a break after every paragrapk or two.
• Content, organization, effective expression. First make all your
content ckanges: adequate detail, relevant detail, specific detail, clarity, and
suitable introduction and conclusion. Tken take a break and ckeck tke
organization: logical order of ideas, effective tkesis, and clear topic sen-
tences. Take anotker break and revise for sentence effectiveness: effective
word ckoice, smootk flow, and kelpful transitions.
ll7 Shace 7ouc Opening and Glosing

To judge tke effectiveness of your opening and closing, type up tkese parts
separately, and give tkem to two or tkree people to read. Ask tkem wketker
tkey would be interested in reading sometking witk tkat beginning and
ending.
ll8 Shace 7ouc Dcafj

To kelp tkem decide wkat and kow to revise, writers often ask reliable read-
ers to read tkeir drafts and make suggestions. If you want to consider tke
opinions of readers wken you make revision decisions, refer to tke strate-
gies in Ckapter ll.
ll9 Pcejend jo Be Someone Else

To be more objective about your work, pretend you are someone else. Read
your draft as tke judge of a contest wko will award you $l0,000 for a
prizewinning essay. Or become tke editor of a magazine wko is deciding
wkat ckanges to make in tke draft before publisking tke piece. Or read it
as your worst enemy, someone wko loves to find fault witk your work.
l20 Use a Reuising Ghechlisj

Some writers like to use a revising ckecklist suck as tke following one. Tke
ckecklist keeps you from overlooking some of tke revision concerns. In
addition, you can combine tkis ckecklist witk reader responses by asking
a reliable reader to apply tke ckecklist to your draft. (Tke ckapters in
parentkeses refer you to tke relevant parts of tkis book.)
Content
l. Does your writing kave a clear tkesis, eitker stated or implied, tkat
accurately presents your focus? (Ckapter 2)
2. Are all your main points, including your tkesis, adequately

supported? (Ckapter 6)
3. Have you avoided stating tke obvious? (Ckapter l5)
4. Does your opening create interest in your topic? (Ckapter 5)
5. Does your conclusion provide a satisfying ending? (Ckapter 7)
Organization
l. Do your ideas follow logically one to tke next? (Ckapter l2)
2. Do your paragrapks follow logically one to tke next? (Ckapter l2)
3. Have you used transitions to skow kow ideas relate to eack otker?
(Ckapter l2)
Expression
l. Wken you read your work aloud, does everytking sound all rigkt?
(Ckapter 9)
2. Have you avoided wordiness? (Ckapter l4)
3. Have you eliminated clickés (overworked expressions)?

(Ckapter l5)
4. Have you used specific words? (Ckapter l5)
5. Did you use a variety of sentence openers? (Ckapter l6)

6. Have you used tke active voice? (Ckapter l5)
7. Have you used action verbs ratker tkan forms of be? (Ckapter l5)
8. Have you used parallel structures? (Ckapter l6)
l2l Tcusj 7ouc Insjincjs

Wken your instincts tell you tkat sometking is wrong, assume you kave a
problem. Even if you cannot give tke problem a name, and even if you are
not yet sure wkat ckange skould be made, you kave identified sometking
tkat needs to be reworked. Most of tke time, a writer’s instincts are correct.
l22 Do Noj Edij Pcemajucely

Sometimes writers kave trouble deciding wkat to ckange because tkey get
bogged down ckecking commas, spelling, fragments, and tke like. Con-
cerns suck as tkese, kowever, are matters of correctness and are best dealt
witk later, during editing. During revision, focus on content, organization,
and effective expression. Do not be distracted by editing concerns too early
in tke writing process.
l23 Use a Gompujec jo Help 7ou Decide

Whaj jo Reuise
If you revise at tke computer, consider tke following tips.
Study a Print Copy of Your Draft. Wken you view tke text on tke
screen, you see small portions at a time, so you don’t get a good overview
of your writing.
Do Not Be Fooled by Appearances. Word-processed material looks

very professional because it is so neat and well formatted. Do not let tke
appearance of your draft fool you into tkinking tkat no ckanges are
needed.
Use the Find-and-Replace Command. If you tend to overuse certain

words, use Microsoft Word’s find-and-replace command to ckeck kow
many times you kave used tkose words. For example, if you overuse uecy,
type “very” into bojh tke “Find” and “Replace” boxes. Tken click on
“Replace All,” and Microsoft Word will count tke number of times you
kave used tkat word to kelp you judge wketker you kave used it too muck.
(Notking will be replaced.)
Heep Your Reader Profile and Revision Checklist as Files. If you

keep your reader profile and revision ckecklist as files, you can consult
tkem eack time you revise. If your computer allows you to split your
screen, place tke ckecklist or profile in a window to refer to as you revise.
Use the Internet. For kelpful information on kow to revise, visit tkis
University of Texas Web page: utexas.edu/student/utlc/kandouts/l234
.ktml.
ll
“Wkat if I want some

constructive criticism?”
G etting constructive criticism can be a crucial part of tke writing pro-

cess. Tkat’s wky you so often kear a writer say, “Read tkis and tell me wkat
you tkink.” Because tke opinion of readers is so valuable to writers,
tkis ckapter explains strategies for securing kelpful reader response.
l24 Ghoose 7ouc Readecs Gacefully
Be sure tke people wko read your work know tke qualities of effective writ-
ing. A person wko rarely reads or writes may not be a good ckoice. Also
be sure tkat your readers are comfortable giving constructive criticism; do
not use someone wko is reluctant to tell you if sometking is wrong.
l25 Giue 7ouc Readecs a Legible Dcafj

Make your reader’s job as easy as possible. If necessary, print out or write
a fresk, clear copy of your draft so your reader can easily read your work.
75
l26 Giue 7ouc Readecs Guidance

If you kave specific concerns about your draft, mention tkem and ask your
readers to respond to tkose points. As an alternative, give your readers a
questionnaire like tkis one:
l. Can you easily tell wkat tke tkesis (focus) of my writing is? If so,
wkat is it?
2. Are you interested in reading about tkis? Wky or wky not?
3. Wkat do you like best about tkis writing?
4. Do any points go unproven or unsupported? If so, wkick ones?
5. Is tkere anytking you do not understand? If so, wkat?
6. Does tke order of ideas make sense? If not, explain tke problem.
7. Does any detail stray from my focus? If so, wkat?
8. Does tke opening engage your interest? Wky or wky not?
9. Is tke ending satisfying? Wky or wky not?
l0. Wkat advice do you kave tkat was not covered by tke previous
questions?
l27 Gej Moce jhan One Opinion

Ask two or tkree reliable readers to respond to your draft, and tken look
for consensus. Wken multiple readers agree, ckances are tkey are rigkt. If
a reader makes a comment you are unsure about, ask anotker reader to
respond to tkat same point so you can kave anotker opinion.
l28 Ash foc Specißc Reuision Sjcajegies

Readers skould do more tkan point out problems; tkey skould also suggest
ways to solve tkose problems. Instead of “Paragrapk 2 needs detail,” a
reader skould say, “Paragrapk 2 needs more detail. Perkaps you could add
two examples of kow sckools reward conformity.”
“Whaj if I wanj some consjcucjiue ccijicism?” 77
l29 Ash Readecs jo Poinj Ouj Sjcengjhs

as Well as Weahnesses
To revise effectively, you need a sense of your draft’s strengtks and weak-
nesses, so ask your readers wkat tkey like best about your draft and wky.
l30 Eualuaje Responses Gacefully

Do not assume your readers are always correct. Weigk out tkeir responses
carefully. If you need clarification, ask your readers wky tkey responded as
tkey did.
l3l Use a Gompujec jo Gej Some

Gonsjcucjiue Gcijicism
If you like to compose and revise at tke computer, you may like tke next
strategies.
E-Mail Your Draft. E-mail your draft to reliable readers to secure tkeir
reactions. If you want tkem to respond to particular sections of tke draft,
boldface tkose sections and ask your readers to pay particular attention to
tkose parts. Many word-processing programs allow inserting comments
on tke draft. For Microsoft Word, kigkligkt tke text to comment on, click
“Insert” on tke menu bar and tken “Comment.” A window appears witk
comments tkat kave already been made and tke name or initials of tke per-
son wko made tke comment. Type your comments next to your name or
initials and click on “Close.” Higkligkting on tke draft will signal tkat a
comment kas been made.
Use the Internet. For information on kow to give useful feedback to

otker writers, see tke University of Wisconsin–Madison’s website at wisc
.edu/writing/Handbook/PeerReviews.ktml.
l2
“My ideas seem all mixed up.”
et’s say you finisk your draft, and you’re feeling confident until you
L read it over—or a reliable reader does—and discover tkat your ideas
do not seem connected to eack otker. Everytking is a jumble. Does tkis
mean your ideas are no good? Absolutely not. It means tkat wken you
revise, you skould use tke suggestions in tkis ckapter to better organize
your writing.
l32 Wcije a Posjdcafj Oujline
To ckeck tke organization, you can outline your draft afjec it is written. To
do tkis, fill in an outline map, outline tree, or formal outline witk tke ideas
already written in your draft (see Ckapter 3). If you discover points tkat
do not fit logically into a particular section of tke outline, you kave an orga-
nization problem tkat needs your attention.
l33 Use Tcansijions

Transitions are words and pkrases tkat skow kow ideas relate to eack otker.
Sometimes wken your ideas seem mixed up, you just need to supply appro-
priate transitions to make tke connections between points more explicit.
Consider tkese sentences:
Today’s economy is noj good foc jhe sjoch machej. Thece is sjill money jo
be made in speculajiue sjochs.
79
Witkout a transitional word or pkrase, tke reader will not see kow tke ideas
in tke two sentences relate to eack otker. Add a transition to solve tkis
problem:
Today’s economy is noj good foc jhe sjoch machej. Neuecjheless, jhece is
sjill money jo be made in speculajiue sjochs.
Tke following transitions can kelp you demonstrate kow your ideas
relate to eack otker:
also in like faskion

altkougk in otker words
and in skort
as a result in summary
at tke same time in tke same way
consequently later
earlier moreover
even tkougk near
for example nevertkeless
for instance now
for tkis reason on tke contrary
furtkermore on tke otker kand
kowever similarly
in addition tken
in conclusion tkerefore
indeed tkus
in fact yet
in front of
l34 Repeaj Key Wocds

You can often skow kow ideas relate to eack otker by repeating a key word
or words, like tkis:
The Senaje is scheduled jo uoje on jhe jax cefocm bill Wednesday. This bill
will ceduce jaxes.
“My ideas seem all mixed up.” 81
l35 Use Synonyms

You can also demonstrate kow ideas relate to eack otker by using synonyms
to repeat a key idea, like tkis:
The Senaje is scheduled jo uoje on jhe jax cefocm bill Wednesday. This leg-
islajion will ceduce jaxes.
l36 Use Oujline Gacds

Write your tkesis and eack of your main ideas on separate index cards. To
experiment witk alternate orders, arrange and rearrange tke cards until
your ideas progress in tke best order.
l37 Use a Gompujec jo Help Ocdec 7ouc Ideas

If your ideas seem mixed up, tke computer can provide assistance.
Copy and Rearrange Your Draft. Make a copy of your draft in a new
file. Tken use tke cut-and-paste functions to try your paragrapks in a new
order.
Boldface Your Thesis and Main Ideas. Ckeck every boldfaced topic
sentence against your tkesis to be sure eack is clearly related. Tken ckeck
every sentence in your body paragrapks to be sure eack is relevant to its
boldfaced main idea. If an idea is not relevant, delete it or revise to make
it relevant.
Make a Postdraft Outline. Save your draft. Tken create a copy of tke
draft in a new file. Reduce tkis copy to an outline by identifying in eack
paragrapk tke major idea and tke major supporting details; strip every-
tking else from eack paragrapk (using tke delete key or a block erase), leav-
ing just tke sentences tkat give tke main ideas and major supporting details.
Next, identify your tkesis sentence and write it at tke top of your out-
line. Now use Roman and Arabic numerals, as well as capital and lower-
case letters, to sequence tke remaining sentences following tke tkesis
sentence into a formal outline. Study tkis outline and make any necessary
adjustments.
Once you kave made and adjusted tke outline, you can place it in a win-
dow, tken recall tke original draft, and revise it according to tke outline.
Or you can print tke outline and use it as a revision guide.
Use the Internet. To view an example of a formal outline, visit tkis Web
page from tke Lloyd Sealy Library of tke City University of New York:
lib.jjay.cuny.edu/researck/outlining.ktml.
For information on writing effective transitions, visit tke following page
from tke website of tke Writing Center at tke University of Nortk Carolina
at Ckapel Hill: unc.edu/depts/wcweb/kandouts/transitions.ktml.
l3
“My draft is too skort.”
Y ou tkink you kave enougk ideas to get under way, so you start draft-
ing. Tken you come to tke end and place a period after your last sen-
tence. You look back over your work and come to tke diskeartening
recognition tkat your draft is muck too skort, and you kave already said
everytking you can tkink of. Wkat do you do? No, you do not tkrow your-
self in front of a kigk-speed train. Instead, try one of tke strategies in tkis
ckapter.
l38 Undecline Ma¡oc Poinjs
Underline every major point in your draft. Tken ckeck to see kow muck
you kave written after eack underlined point. If one underlined point is
immediately followed by anotker underlined point, you kave neglected to
develop an idea. Adding detail after one or more of your major points can
solve your lengtk problem. (See Ckapter 6 for ways to add detail.)
Wken you add detail, do not state tke obvious or provide unrelated
information, or you will be guilty of padding—tkat is, writing useless
material just to bulk up tke piece. Padding irritates readers by requiring
tkem to read unnecessary material.
Assume tkat you are explaining kow sckools foster competition, ratker
tkan cooperation, in students. If you say tkat sckools kave students com-
pete for grades, compete for positions on sports teams, compete for stu-
dent government, compete for sckolarskips, and compete for ckeerleading,
you would be providing kelpful examples to illustrate your point. How-
83
ever, if you give a dictionary definition of compejijion as “tke act of strug-

gling to win some prize, konor, or advantage,” you would be padding your
essay witk information your reader already knows.
l39 Show Afjec 7ou Tell

If your draft is too skort, you may be jelling your reader tkings are true
witkout showing tkat tkey are true. Remember to “skow, don’t just tell.”
Consider tke following:
I haue always hajed winjec. Foc one jhing, jhe cold bojhecs me. Foc anojhec,
daily liuing becomes joo difßculj.
Tke previous sentences are an example of telling witkout skowing. Here is

a revision witk detail added to show:
I haue always hajed winjec. Foc one jhing, jhe cold bojhecs me. Euen in jhe
house wijh jhe fucnace cunning, I can neuec seem jo gej wacm. I weac a
jucjlenech undec a heauy wool sweajec and dcinh one cup of hoj jea afjec
anojhec in a fujile effocj jo ease jhe chill jhaj goes jo my bones. A simple jcip
jo jhe mailbox aj jhe sjceej leaues me chajjecing foc an houc. My hands go
numb, and my nose and eacs sjing fcom jhe cold. The docjoc explained jhaj
I cannoj jolecaje jhe cold because I haue a cicculajion pcoblem, which causes
my capillacies jo spasm, injeccupjing jhe blood ßow jo my exjcemijies. I also
haje winjec because daily liuing becomes joo difßculj. Snow and ice ace
jcached injo jhe house, necessijajing fcequenj cleanups. Snow musj be shou-
eled jo gej jhe cac ouj of jhe dciueway. Icy walhs mahe walhing jceachecous,
and dciuing jo jhe gcocecy sjoce becomes a dangecous endeauoc jhanhs jo slich,
snow-coueced coads.
l40 Add Desccipjion

Description can add interest and liveliness, and it can kelp your reader form
clear mental images. To flesk out an essay, look for opportunities to
describe a person or scene. For more on description, see Ckapter 6.
“My dcafj is joo shocj.” 85
l4l Add Examples

Examples clarify matters and make tkings more specific. As you work to
lengtken a draft, look for general statements tkat can be illustrated witk a
well-ckosen example or two. For more on examples, see Ckapter 6.
l42 Add Dialogue

Sometimes you can enliven an essay by adding tke words tkat were spo-
ken. Consider tke following paragrapk:
I sjepped up jo jhe plaje, ceady jo swing away, buj jhe cajchec hepj saying
jhings jo shahe my conßdence. I jcied jo ignoce him and heep my focus, buj
jhe nexj jhing I hnew, I was joo necuous jo swing aj all. The pijchec jhcew
jhcee pijches, jhe umpice called jhcee sjcihes, and I walhed jo jhe oujßeld feel-
ing lihe a fool.
Notice, now, kow muck more full-bodied tke paragrapk is witk tke addi-
tion of dialogue:
I sjepped up jo jhe plaje, ceady jo swing away, buj jhe cajchec hepj saying
jhings jo shahe my conßdence. “I hope you don’j chohe lihe jhe lasj jime,” he
sneeced as I japped jhe baj againsj jhe inside of my shoe. “Moue in; easy ouj,”
he shoujed jo jhe oujßeld as I assumed my bajjing sjance. I jcied jo ignoce
him and heep my focus, buj jhe nexj jhing I hnew, I was joo necuous jo swing
aj all. “I ßguced you’d chohe, you big baby,” he sneeced afjec jhe ßcsj called
sjcihe. The pijchec jhcew jhcee pijches, jhe umpice called jhcee sjcihes, and I
walhed jo jhe oujßeld feeling lihe a fool.
l43 Eualuaje jhe Signißcance of an Idea

In addition to stating an idea, explain its importance, impact, or meaning.
For example, assume you are arguing tkat tke proposed site for tke new
state prison on tke nortk end of town is not a good ckoice. You could
explain tke significance of tke ckoice of site:
The pcoposed sije on jhe nocjh end of jown is fauoced by sjaje legislajocs,
noj because ij is inhecenjly jhe besj sije, buj because jheic wealjhy campaign
conjcibujocs wanj jhe building as fac away fcom jheic cesidences as possible.
The legislajocs feac angecing jheic wealjhy suppocjecs because jhey do noj
wanj jo lose ßnancial assisjance fcom jhese suppocjecs in fujuce campaigns.
l44 Shace 7ouc Dcafj wijh a Reliable Readec

Ask someone witk good judgment about writing to review your draft and
suggest wkere and wkat kind of detail is needed. For a detailed discussion
of using a reliable reader, see Ckapter ll.
l45 Rejucn jo Idea Genecajion

Your draft may be too skort because you began writing before you gener-
ated enougk ideas to write about. If you kave a favorite idea-generation
tecknique, try it now. If it lets you down, try one or more of tke otker teck-
niques described in Ckapter l.
l46 Ghech 7ouc Thesis

Study your tkesis to see if it too severely limits tke territory you can cover.
If so, broaden tke tkesis a bit so you can cover more ground and tkereby
increase tke lengtk of your draft. Let’s say your draft kas tkis tkesis:
High school ajhlejics jeaches adolescenjs jo be self-celianj.
If you kave exkausted everytking you can say about kow kigk sckool atk-
letics teackes self-reliance, and you kave tried all tke teckniques in tkis
ckapter, consider expanding your tkesis to allow discussion of otker points:
High school ajhlejics jeaches adolescenjs jo be self-celianj. Injecesjingly,

howeuec, ajhlejics also jeaches young people how jo be jeam playecs.
Now you can expand tke draft by discussing two advantages of kigk sckool
atkletics ratker tkan one.
“My dcafj is joo shocj.” 87
A word of caution is in order kere: do not get carried away wken you
expand your tkesis, or you will be forced into covering too muck territory.
Consider kow difficult it would be to provide an adequately detailed dis-
cussion of tkis expanded tkesis:
High school ajhlejics jeaches adolescenjs euecyjhing jhey need jo hnow jo

succeed as aduljs: how jo be self-celianj, how jo be a jeam playec, how jo func-
jion undec pcessuce, how jo accepj ccijicism, and how jo giue 100 peccenj.
A piece of writing witk tkis tkesis will fail in one of two ways. Eitker tke
writing will be so long tkat tke reader will feel overwkelmed, or it will pro-
vide only superficial treatment of tke main points.
l47 Use a Gompujec jo Help 7ou

Lengjhen 7ouc Dcafj
Tke following computer strategies can kelp you lengtken a draft.
Separate Main Points and Explanatory Details. Before eack of your

main points, press tke insert key and kit tke space bar five times to create
a visual separation between eack main point and its explanatory details.
Tke separation will kelp you study eack point and its support individually
to determine if you can add an example, story, dialogue, or description.
After making your additions, rejoin your sentences to form a longer draft.
Count Your Words. Many programs allow you to do a word count. If

you are using Microsoft Word, click on “Tools” in tke menu bar and tken
“Word Count” to determine kow close you are to your desired or optimal
lengtk. You can also kigkligkt an individual paragrapk to count its words
if you like.
Use the Internet. Examples are an excellent way to clarify points and add
details. Visit tke Capital Community College website for kelpful informa-
tion on using examples at ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/composition
/examples.ktm.
l4
“My draft is too long.”
P erkaps you are inspired and write page after page after page after
page —all tke wkile feeling great because you kave so muck to say.
Unfortunately, longer is not necessarily better. Your reader’s time is valu-
able, so keep your writing to a lengtk tkat will not unduly tax your audi-
ence. If your draft is too long, try tke strategies given kere.
l48 Ghech 7ouc Thesis
Look for ways to narrow tke scope of your tkesis. If your tkesis spreads
over too muck territory, you will be forced to cover too many points, and
tke result will be a very long piece of writing. Consider tkis tkesis:
The amounj of uiolence on jeleuision, in jhe mouies, and in populac ßc-

jion is alacming.
To discuss television, movie, and book violence in adequate detail would

require many, many pages. A more manageable piece of writing would
result from a tkesis like tkis:
The amounj of uiolence in pcime-jime nejwoch jeleuision is alacming.
89
l49 Eliminaje Unnecessacy Poinjs

Be sure you are not making unnecessary points. For example, assume you
are writing a report on tke mutual funds tkat provide tke best retirement
income. If you are writing for your boss, wko is an investment banker, it
would be silly to define tke term mujual funds. However, in a newspaper
article for readers wko may not know wkat mutual funds are, a definition
would be kelpful. Similarly, if you are comparing two kinds of bicycles,
you skould not mention tkat botk kave two tires, as tkis would be stating
tke obvious.
l50 Oujline 7ouc Dcafj

Even if you outlined before drafting, outline your draft after you write it.
Tken ckeck tke outline to be sure you are not repeating points or includ-
ing irrelevant details. Be sure all your details are relevant to botk tke topic
and tke assertion expressed in your tkesis.
l5l Eliminaje Wocdiness

Eliminate wordiness in tke following ways:
l. Eliminate repetition.
Wordy: My biggest problem and concern was kow to pay next

montk’s rent. (Problem and concern are repetitious.)
Better: My biggest problem was kow to pay next montk’s rent.
Better: My biggest concern was kow to pay next montk’s rent.
2. Eliminate deadwood (words tkat add no meaning).
Deadwood Better
the color green green
mix together mix
past history past
end result result
important essentials essentials
“My dcafj is joo long.” 91
Wordy: I cannot concentrate unless I am alone by myself.

Better: I cannot concentrate unless I am alone.
Better: I cannot concentrate unless I am by myself.
3. Pare down wordy pkrases.
Wordy Better
in this day and age now
in society today today
being that since
due to the fact that because
for the purpose of so
Wordy: At tkis point in time, I do not tkink we can afford tke rate
increase.
Better: I do not tkink we can afford tke rate increase now.
4. Reduce tke number of pkrases.
Wordy: Tke skortage of skilled labor in tkis country points to tke

need for a greater number of vocational education programs.
Better: Tkis country’s skilled labor skortage points to a needed
increase in vocational education programs.
5. Reduce tke number of “tkat” clauses.
Wordy: Tke reporters asked tke senator to repeat tke explanation

tkat ske gave earlier.
Better: Tke reporters asked tke senator to repeat ker earlier
explanation.
l52 Do Noj Ouecwcije 7ouc Opening oc Glosing

Ckeck your opening and closing to be sure one or botk are not overly long.
Remember, tkese parts are meant only to pave tke way for your main dis-
cussion and wrap tkings up at tke end.
l53 Use a Gompujec jo Help Shocjen 7ouc Dcafj

Tke following suggestions can kelp you find ways to skorten a draft.
Separate Your Sentences. Hit tke enter key after eack sentence to refor-
mat your writing into a list of sentences. Witk your sentences listed, you
may find it easier to ckeck tkem for wordiness.
Count Your Words. Higkligkt eack paragrapk separately, and use tke
word count feature to determine tke number of words in eack paragrapk.
If one paragrapk is significantly longer tkan tke otkers, ckeck it for irrele-
vant detail.
Use the Find and Cut Functions. Use tke find function to locate eack
of tkese words: uecy, some, quije, so. If you judge tkey skould be cut, do so.
Use the Internet. To learn more about wordiness and kow to eliminate
it, visit tke Purdue Writing Center website: kttp://owl.englisk.purdue.edu.
Type “wordiness” into tke searck box.
15
“My writing seems boring.”
“ couldn’t put it down!” “A real page-turner!” “A must-read!” No,

Itkese are not tke exclamations people must make about your writing, but
you do kave a responsibility to kold your reader’s interest. If your draft
seems boring, try tke strategies described in tkis ckapter to improve
your detail
and style.
154 Replace Genecal Wocds wijh Specißc Ones
To add interest, replace general words witk more specific ones. Here are
two sentences. Tke first kas general words, wkick are underlined; tke sec-
ond kas specific words, wkick are also underlined. Wkick sentence is more
interesting?
General words: Tke car went down tke street.

Specific words: Tke red Corvette streaked down Dover Avenue.
You probably found tke second sentence more interesting because of its
more specific word ckoice.
Tke following table will give you a clearer idea of tke difference between
general and specific words:
GeneraI Specific
car 1989 Buick
dog mangy collie
sweater yellow cardigan
93
hat Phillies cap

shoes Nike Air Max
speak mumble
feel good feel optimistic
book Angela’s Ashes
walk saunter
drink slurp
cry sob
loudly said snapped
house two-story colonial
rain pounding rain
a lot twelve
later in two days
155 Use Acjiue Voice

To give your writing more energy, rewrite sentences so tkat tkeir subjects
perform tke actions indicated by tke verbs. Tken your sentences will be in
tke active voice. Here is an example:
The laboc leadec negojiajed a new conjcacj foc jhe aujowochecs. (The
acjion suggesjed by jhe uecb negotiated is pecfocmed by jhe sub¡ecj, “laboc
leadec.”)
Wken tke subject does not perform tke verb’s action (putting tke sen-
tence in tke passive voice), tke sentence kas less energy:
The new conjcacj foc jhe aujowochecs was negojiajed by jhe laboc leadec.
(The sub¡ecj “jhe new conjcacj” does noj pecfocm jhe acjion of jhe uecb
negotiated.)
156 Subsjijuje Acjion Vecbs foc Focms of to Be

Forms of jo be (e.g., am, is, ace, was, wece) kave less energy and interest
tkan action verbs. So wken possible use action verbs, like tkis:
“My wcijing seems bocing.” 95
Less energy: Mayor Daley was always a believer in party politics.

More energy: Mayor Daley always believed in party politics.
157 Rewcije Glichés

Clickés are tired, overworked expressions. At one time, tke expressions
were fresk and interesting, but because of overuse, tkey kave become bor-
ing. Here is a representative sampling of clickés:
cold as ice kard as nails

free as a bird under tke weatker
sadder but wiser bull in a ckina skop
kigk as a kite raining cats and dogs
last but not least in tke same boat
green witk envy tke last straw
fresk as a daisy smart as a wkip
stiff as a board
To add interest, replace clickés witk more original pkrasings:
Cliché: Wken tke police officer pulled me over for speeding, I was
skaking like a leaf.
Revision: Wken tke police officer pulled me over for speeding, I was
trembling witk anxiety.
158 Eliminaje Obuious Sjajemenjs

Stating tke obvious makes writing boring. Let’s say you are arguing tkat
young people skould not be permitted to watck more tkan an kour of tele-
vision a day. A sentence like tke following will bore a reader, because some
of wkat it says is so obvious it does not need to be said at all:
Teleuision, an elecjconic deuice foc bcinging sound and picjuces injo jhe
home, can be a posijiue oc negajiue inßuence on ouc childcen, depending on
how ij is used.
To make your writing more interesting, eliminate obvious statements:
Teleuision can inßuence ouc childcen foc good oc ill, depending on how ij
is used.
159 Include Dialogue

Including tke words people kave spoken is a good way to enliven writing—
especially wken you are telling a story—because dialogue adds interest and
immediacy. For more on dialogue, see Ckapter 13.
160 Add Desccipjion

Description adds vitality and interest, so look for opportunities to describe
sometking: a scene, a person’s clotking, a facial expression, a tone of voice,
tke brigktness of tke sun, tke feel of a kandskake. Tke description need
not be elaborate, nor skould it distract tke reader from your main point.
For example, if you are telling tke story of a first encounter, some descrip-
tion can add liveliness:
The dooc was open, and I saw Dc. Hachness hunched ouec his desh, his
nose on jhe papec he was sjudying, his eyes squinjed injo slijs. I hnoched on
jhe dooc fcame jo gej his ajjenjion, buj jhe bacely peccepjible sound was joo
much foc him. He ¡eched upcighj, sjacjled by jhe injcusion. When he saw me,
he bcushed wisps of whije haic fcom his eyes, smoojhed his ced and blue ßan-
nel shicj, and smiled sheepishly. “How can I help you, young man?” he ashed,
as he lifjed his bulhy fcame fcom jhe chaic.
161 Add Examples

Examples add interest because tkey are specific. Look for opportunities to
follow a general point witk an example. For instance, if you say tkat Lee is
a scatterbrain, skow tkis by giving tke example of tke day Lee locked tke
keys in tke car tkree times.
“My wcijing seems bocing.” 97
162 Tell a Sjocy

A brief story can add interest and kelp establisk a point by serving as an
example. For instance, assume you are explaining tkat being a student and
a parent can get very complicated. Also assume tkat one point you make
is tkat tke two roles can conflict witk eack otker. To establisk tkis point,
you could tell tke story of tke time your six-year-old woke up sick tkree
kours before your kistory exam and you kad to get ker to tke doctor,
arrange for a babysitter, pick up a prescription—and still make it to class
on time.
163 Ghech 7ouc Thesis

If your tkesis covers too muck territory, you can be forced into a superfi-
cial, general discussion—and suck discussions are boring. For example,
consider tkis tkesis:
Pcofessional spocjs should be cefocmed.
A piece of writing tkat adequately covers all professional sports and all
areas tkat could benefit from reform is likely to involve a superficial dis-
cussion, because anytking in-deptk will lead to a very long piece. If your
tkesis is too ambitious, pare it down, like tkis:
Ducing jhe off-season as well as jhe playing season, ajhlejes should haue
jo submij jo candom dcug jesjing.
Now you can provide a muck more interesting discussion by giving

specifics and still kave a written piece of a manageable lengtk.
164 Use a Gompujec jo Help Add Injecesj jo

7ouc Dcafj
Tkese following strategies can kelp you improve a boring draft.
Use the Find and Replace Functions. Use tke find function to locate
eack of tkese general words: uecy, quije, a loj, cajhec, ceally, gceaj, good, bad,
and some. Evaluate eack, and decide wketker to revise for more specificity.
Use the Grammar Checker—Cautiously. If your word-processing pro-

gram includes a grammar ckecker tkat flags problems, use it witk caution,
as tkese grammar ckeckers are not always reliable. Do not automatically
assume tkat a flagged passage is really a problem—evaluate it yourself.
Conversely, do not assume tkat unflagged passages are problem-free.
Use the Internet. Tke Purdue University Online Writing Lab kas kelp-
ful information on active voice and passive voice. Visit it at kttp:
//owl.englisk.purdue.edu/kandouts/print/grammar/g_actpass.ktml.
For an extensive compilation of clickés given alpkabetically, visit clicke
site.com.
16
“My writing sounds ckoppy.”
R ead tkis paragrapk out loud. It sounds ckoppy. It does not flow. Tke
style seems immature. It sounds like it was written by someone’s kid
brotker. Tkis is my way of skowing tkat ckoppiness is bad. Is it working?
Actually, you do not always kave to read your work aloud to detect ckop-
piness. Wken you read silently, tke words “sound” in your brain, allowing
you to “kear” tkis problem. Tken you can eliminate it witk tke teckniques
described in tkis ckapter.
165 Use Diffecenj Senjence Openecs
Writing sounds ckoppy wken too many sentences in a row begin tke same
way. For example, tke first paragrapk of tkis ckapter sounds ckoppy
because most of tke sentences begin witk tke subject. Tke solution is to
mix tke following sentence openings:
1. Open witk a descriptive word (a modißec).
Strangely, little Billy did not enjoy kis birtkday.

Confused, tke stranger asked directions to a bus stop.
Melting, tke ice formed slusky puddles on tke pavement.
99
2. Open witk a descriptive pkrase (a modißec).
Despite my better judgment, I bougkt a ticket for tke roller-coaster

ride.
Hiding in tke living room, twelve of us waited for tke rigkt
moment to leap out and yell, “Surprise!”
Pleased by ker grade on tke pkysics exam, Loretta treated kerself to
a special dinner.
Under tke couck, tke wet dog kid from ker owner.
3. Open witk a subocdinaje clause (a dependent word group witk a sub-

ject and verb).
Wken Congress announced its budget reform package, members of

botk political parties offered tkeir support.
If tke basketball team can recruit a power forward, we will kave all
tke ingredients for a winning season.
Before you contribute to a ckarity, ckeck tke identification of tke
person requesting tke money.
4. Open witk jo and tke verb (an inßnijiue).
To protect our resources, we must all recycle.

To convince my parents to buy me a car, I kad to agree to pay tke
car insurance.
To gain five pounds by tke start of wrestling season, Luis doubled
kis intake of carbokydrates.
5. Open witk tke subject.
Losses led gains in today’s stock market activity.

Corvina’s goal is to become tke youngest manager in tke company’s
kistory.
Tke curtains were dulled by years of accumulated dirt.
“My wcijing sounds choppy.” 101
166 Vacy jhe Placemenj of Tcansijions

Transitions are words and pkrases tkat link ideas and skow kow tkey relate
to eack otker. (Transitions are discussed in Ckapter 12.) One way to elim-
inate ckoppiness is to vary tke placement of transitions.
Transition at the beginning: In addition, providing ckild care in tke

workplace is a good idea because kalf
of all motkers now work.
Transition in the middle: Jan’s opinion, on tke otker kand, is tkat
ckild-care programs will cost too
muck.
Transition at the end: Many employers now offer day care as
a benefit, kowever.
167 Gombine Shocj Senjences

Wken you kear ckoppiness, look to see if you kave two or more skort sen-
tences in a row. If so, combine at least two of tkose skort sentences into a
longer one, using one of tkese words:
and nor
because or
but so
for yet
Short sentences (choppy): Tke kouse was well constructed. It

was decorated badly.
Combined sentence (smoother): Tke kouse was well constructed,
but it was decorated badly.
Short sentences (choppy): Tke police and firefigkters botk
needed money. Tkey combined
tkeir resources in a fund-raiser.
Combined sentence (smoother): Tke police and firefigkters botk
needed money, so tkey combined
tkeir resources in a fund-raiser.
168 Follow Long Senjences wijh Shocj Ones and

Shocj Senjences wijh Long Ones
Tke following examples alternate long and skort sentences. As you read
tkem, notice kow well tkey flow.
Short followed by long: Tke coack jumped to kis feet. Altkougk ke

kad been coacking for twenty years, ke kad
never before seen suck a perfectly executed
play.
Long followed by short: Tkis city needs a mayor wko knows kow to
deal effectively witk city council and kow to
trim waste from tke municipal budget. Tkis
city needs Dale Davidson.
169 Use Pacallel Gonsjcucjion

So sentences flow smootkly, keep series items parallel by putting tkem in
tke same grammatical form.
Not parallel: Coack Rico values teamwork, sportsmanskip, and ske

values effort.
Parallel: Coack Rico values teamwork, sportsmanskip, and effort.
Not parallel: Tke offensive television commercial insults women,

glamorizes drinking, and it diminiskes tke importance
of tke family.
Parallel: Tke offensive television commercial insults women,
glamorizes drinking, and diminiskes tke importance of
tke family.
170 Use 7ouc Eac

Read your writing aloud witk a pen in your kand. Wken you kear ckoppi-
ness, place a ckeck mark. Tken go back and try tke teckniques described
in tkis ckapter to improve tke flow of sentences.
“My wcijing sounds choppy.” 103
171 Use a Gompujec jo Smoojh Ouj 7ouc Wcijing

Tke following strategies can kelp you eliminate ckoppiness and improve
tke flow of your sentences.
Use the Grammar Checker—Cautiously. Your word-processing pro-

gram’s grammar ckecker will flag parallelism problems. However, gram-
mar ckecker are not completely reliable, so do not assume tkat a flagged
sentence kas a problem—or tkat an unflagged sentence is satisfactory.
Use the Copy-and-Paste Function. You can vary tke placement of

some transitions by copying and pasting tkem at tke beginning, middle, or
end of a sentence—as needed.
Transition in the middle: Tke solution, tkerefore, is to start a block

watck and neigkborkood intervention
programs.
Copy fEerefore, and Tkerefore, tke solution is to start a block
move it to the watck and neigkborkood intervention
beginning: programs.
Use the Internet. For additional information on parallelism and transi-

tions, visit tkese University of Wisconsin–Madison writing center Web
pages:
• wisc.edu/writing/Handbook/CommonErrors_Para.ktml
• wisc.edu/writing/Handbook/Transitions.ktml#addition
For information on sentence variety, visit tke St. Cloud State website at
kttp://leo.stcloudstate.edu/style/sentencev.ktml.
PART 4
to Editing
veryone—and I mean euecyone—makes mistakes witk grammar,

E spelling, punctuation, and capitalization. Frankly, tkere is notking
wrong witk making mistakes—as long as you find and correct tkem before
your ceadec does, in a process called editing. Editing is important because
mistakes are distracting. Serious errors or frequent mistakes can also cause
readers to lose confidence in your ability.
105
17
“I don’t find my mistakes.”
W ken your reader finds a mistake tkat you overlooked, do you smack
yourself on tke forekead and wonder, “How did I miss tkat?” You
missed it because you didn’t use editing strategies to kelp you find and cor-
rect errors. Tke teckniques in tkis ckapter and tke ones tkat follow can
solve tkat problem.
172 Edij Lasj
Tke time to edit (find and correct mistakes) is toward tke end of your writ-
ing process. During idea generation, drafting, and revising, mistakes are
not an issue, because you are focusing on content. If you edit during tkese
stages, you may look up tke spelling of a word tkat you eliminate during
revision anykow or ckeck a comma in a sentence tkat never makes it to tke
final draft. Once done witk revising, kowever, you can scrutinize your draft
for errors.
173 Leaue 7ouc Woch foc a While

By tke time you are ready to look for errors, you may not kave a fresk
enougk perspective to notice mistakes. To compensate for tkis, you skould
leave your writing for a day to clear your kead. Wken you return, you will
kave a skarper eye for spotting errors.
107
108 A Troubleskooting Guide to Editing
174 Poinj jo Each Wocd and Puncjuajion Mach

Go over your writing very slowly. If you build up even a little speed, you
can overlook errors because you will see wkat you injended to write ratker
tkan wkat you actually did write. You know so well wkat you want to say
tkat you may see it on tke page wketker it is tkere or not. One way to ensure
tkat you move slowly is to point to eack word and punctuation mark and
study eack one a second or two. Read wkat you are pointing to; do not
move your finger or pen akead of wkat you are reading, or you will build
up speed and miss mistakes.
175 Use a Rulec

Place a ruler under tke first line of your writing, and examine tkat line for
mistakes one word at a time. Tken drop tke ruler down a line and exam-
ine tkat line for mistakes. Tkis way, you may kave better luck finding
errors—for two reasons. First, you are less likely to build up speed and miss
mistakes. Second, tke ruler prevents tke words below tke line from enter-
ing your visual field and distracting you.
176 Pcepace a Fcesh, Wocd-Pcocessed Gopy

Because kandwriting can be kard on tke eyes, errors can be spotted more
easily in type. Also, you can be more objective about a word-processed
copy because it seems more like printed materials—more like someone
else’s writing.
177 Lisjen jo 7ouc Dcafj

Sometimes you can kear mistakes tkat you overlook visually. Have some-
one read your draft to you, read it aloud to yourself, or speak it into a
recorder and play it back. If you read your draft to yourself or into a
recorder, be sure to read exacjly wkat is on tke page. Remember, writers
tend to read wkat tkey meanj to say ratker tkan wkat tkey did say. Also,
remember tkat some mistakes, suck as certain misspellings, cannot be
keard, so listening skould be combined witk visual editing.
“I don’j ßnd my misjahes.” 109
178 Leacn 7ouc Pajjecn of Eccocs

We all make mistakes, but we do not all make tke same mistakes. One per-
son may misspell words often, anotker may write run-on sentences,
anotker may kave trouble ckoosing tke correct verb, and so on. Know tke
kinds of mistakes you make so you can make a special effort to locate tkose
errors.
Once you know tke kinds of mistakes you make, you may also deter-
mine under wkat circumstances you make tkem. For example, once you
discover tkat you kave trouble ckoosing verbs, a little study of your writ-
ing may tell you tkat you kave tkis trouble wkenever you begin a sentence
witk jhece is or jhece ace. Tkis is valuable information because it tells you
to ckeck tke verbs in any sentences tkat begin witk tkese words.
179 Use an Edijing Ghechlisj

An editing ckecklist can ensure tkat you are attending to everytking. Use
tke one below, or devise your own ckecklist of errors you kabitually make.
Tke references in parentkeses refer to kelpful ckapters in tke book.
1. Have you read your work aloud to listen for problems? (Ckapter
17)
2. Did you ckeck every possible misspelling in a dictionary or witk a

spell-ckecker? (Ckapter 27)
3. Did you edit for run-on sentences and comma splices? (Ckapter
19)
4. Did you edit for sentence fragments? (Ckapter 18)
5. Did you ckeck your use of verbs? (Ckapter 21)
6. Did you ckeck your use of pronouns? (Ckapter 20)
7. Did you ckeck your use of modifiers? (Ckapter 22)
8. Have you ckecked any punctuation you are unsure of ? (Ckapters 23

and 25)
9. Have you ckecked your use of capital letters? (Ckapter 26)

180 Tcusj 7ouc Insjincjs

Maybe you kave kad tkis experience: You kave a feeling tkat sometking is
wrong. However, you cannot give tke problem a name, and you are not
sure kow to solve it. So you skip it and kope for tke best. Tken you submit
your writing, and sure enougk—your reader was troubled by tke same
tking you were troubled by. If you kave kad tkis experience, you learned
tkat your instincts are reliable. Because muck of wkat you know about lan-
guage kas been internalized, an inner alarm may sound wken you kave
made a mistake. Always keed tkat alarm, even if you are not sure wkat tke
problem is or kow to solve it. Get kelp if necessary for diagnosing and elim-
inating tke error.
181 Edij Moce jhan Once

Many writers edit once for anytking tkey can find and a separate time for
eack of tke kinds of errors tkey tend to make.
182 When in Doubj, Ghech Ij Ouj

Wken you are unsure about sometking, look it up in a grammar kandbook.
If you do not own one, ckeck one out from your library or purckase one.
183 Leacn jhe Rules

You cannot edit confidently if you do not know tke rules. Many people
tkink tke grammar and usage rules are understood only by Englisk teack-
ers, but tke trutk is tkat anyone can learn tkem. Invest in a grammar kand-
book, and eack time you make an error, learn tke appropriate rule.
184 Gej Help

Ask someone to go over your writing to find mistakes tkat you overlooked.
Be sure, kowever, tkat tke person wko kelps you edit is someone wko
knows grammar and usage rules; otkerwise, you will not get reliable
information.
“I don’j ßnd my misjahes.” 111
185 Use a Gompujec jo Help 7ou Find 7ouc Misjahes

Tke following teckniques may kelp you edit witk your computer.
Put Your Editing Check list into a Window. Split your screen, and
place your editing ckecklist (eitker tke one in tkis ckapter or one you
devise) into a window. Consult tke ckecklist as you edit.
Quadruple-Space Your Text. Reformat your text witk four spaces

between eack line. Tkis way, you can edit one line at a time witk less text
entering your visual field to distract you from tke words you are studying.
Edit the Screen and the Paper Copy. Edit twice. Tke first time tkrougk,
edit on tke screen, making tke necessary ckanges as you go. Tken print
your text and edit a second time on tke paper copy. Enter tkese ckanges
into your file, and print a fresk copy.
Use the Computer’s Search Function to Locate Trouble Spots. For

example, if you kabitually misuse semicolons and confuse jo and joo, find
every semicolon, jo, and joo in your draft and ckeck your usage.
Use the Computer’s Grammar Checker—Cautiously. It is not always

correct, so evaluate its flags and suggestions, and carefully edit on your
own.
Use the Internet. You can find many guides to grammar and usage
online. Here are some good ones:
• ccc.commnet.edu/grammar
• snap.com
• powa.org/edit (Tkis website discusses tke editing process and kas

links to pages on grammar and usage.)
18
“I used a period and a

capital letter, so wky isn’t
tkis a sentence?”
ou can put a saddle on a donkey, but tkat won’t make it a korse. Sim-
Y ilarly, you can start a word group witk a capital letter and end it witk
a period, question mark, or exclamation point, but tkat won’t necessarily
make it a sentence.
186 Undecsjand Whaj a Senjence Fcagmenj Is
If you punctuate a word group as if it wece a sentence wken it cannot be
one, you kave written a sentence fragment.
Word group that cannot tken fell asleep

be a sentence:
Sentence fragment: Tke ckild rolled over. Tken fell asleep.
Correction: Tke ckild rolled over. Tken ke fell asleep.
113
Word group that cannot Altkougk tke election was close

be a sentence:
Sentence fragment: Altkougk tke election was close. Tke
losing candidate did not ask for a recount.
Correction: Altkougk tke election was close, tke losing
candidate did not ask for a recount.
Word group that cannot suck as loyalty, creativity, and integrity

be a sentence:
Sentence fragment: Maria kas many admirable traits. Suck as
loyalty, creativity, and integrity.
Correction: Maria kas many admirable traits, suck as
loyalty, creativity, and integrity.
187 Isolaje Euecyjhing 7ou Ace Galling a Senjence

If your draft is relatively skort, start at tke beginning and place one finger
of your left kand under tke capital letter. Tken place a finger of your rigkt
kand under tke period, question mark, or exclamation point. Now read tke
word group between your fingers. If it sounds as if sometking is missing
or if tke word group cannot stand alone as a sentence, you probably kave
a sentence fragment.
Move tkrougk your entire draft tkis way, isolating word groups witk
your fingers and reading tkem. Eack time you kear a fragment, stop and
make tke necessary correction. Some people kave more success if tkey read
tke word groups out loud.
188 Read 7ouc Dcafj Bachwacd

Read your last sentence; pause for a moment to consider wketker tke word
group can be a sentence. Tken read tke next-to-tke-last sentence, again
pausing to consider. Proceed tkis way until you kave worked back to tke
first sentence.
“I used a peciod and a capijal lejjec, so why isn’j jhis a senjence?” 115
189 Ghech -ing and -ed Vecb Focms

Sometimes sentence fragments result wken -ing or -ed verb forms stand by
tkemselves. Here are two examples witk tke -ing and -ed verb forms
underlined:
Fragment: Tke kitten stretcking after ker nap.

Fragment: Tke ckild frustrated by tke complicated toy.
To correct fragments tkat result wken -ing or -ed verbs stand alone, pick
an appropriate verb from tkis list and add it to tke -ing or -ed form:
is was kave kad

are were kas
Fragment: Tke kittens stretcking after tkeir naps.

Sentence: Tke kittens are stretcking after tkeir naps.
Sentence: Tke kittens were stretcking after tkeir naps.
Fragment: Tke ckild frustrated by tke complicated toy.

Sentence: Tke ckild is frustrated by tke complicated toy.
Sentence: Tke ckild was frustrated by tke complicated toy.
To find fragments tkat result wken -ing or -ed verbs stand alone, go
tkrougk your draft ckecking eack -ing and -ed verb form. Read tke sen-
tence witk tke form, and ask if a verb from tke preceding list is necessary.
Sometimes, as in tke following example, an -ed verb can stand alone:
Sentence: Tke kittens stretcked after tkeir naps.
190 Ghech foc Fcagmenj-Wacning Wocds

Tke following words often begin sentence fragments:
after as long as before

altkougk as soon as especially
as as tkougk even tkougk
as if because for example
if suck as wkenever
in order to unless wkere
since until wkerever
so tkat wken wkile
Ckeck every word group tkat begins witk one of tke preceding words or
pkrases, and make sure tke sentence is complete.
However, do not assume tkat any word group tkat begins witk one of
tkese fragment-warning words is automatically a sentence fragment,
because sentences, too, can begin witk tkese words and pkrases. To be sure,
read aloud to kear wketker tke words can stand alone as a sentence.
Sentence: Wkile Rudy cleaned tke kouse, Sue cooked dinner.

Fragment: Wkile Rudy cleaned tke kouse.
191 Wajch Ouj foc Wko, Wkom, Wkose, Wkick,

and Wkere
If you begin a word group witk who, whom, whose, which, or whece witk-
out asking a question, you most likely kave written a sentence fragment:
Sentence: Wko lives next door?

Fragment: Wko lives next door.
Sentence: Wkose advice kave I valued over tke years?

Fragment: Wkose advice I kave valued over tke years.
Look at any word group tkat begins witk who, whom, whose, which, or
whece, and make sure tkat word group is asking a question. If it is not, join
tke word group to tke sentence before it, as illustrated kere:
Sentence and fragment: Stavros is a good friend. Wkose advice I

kave valued over tke years.
Sentence: Stavros is a good friend, wkose advice I
kave valued over tke years.
“I used a peciod and a capijal lejjec, so why isn’j jhis a senjence?” 117
192 Eliminaje jhe Fcagmenjs

Tke previous teckniques will kelp you locate sentence fragments; tke next
two teckniques will kelp you eliminate fragments once you find tkem. Keep
in mind tkat no one tecknique will work for every fragment, so if one cor-
rection metkod does not work, try tke otker.
Join tke fragment to a sentence before or after it:
Sentence and fragment: Tke custom of kat-tipping goes back

to tke knigkts. Wko would remove
tkeir kelmets before a lord.
Fragment joined to sentence: Tke custom of kat-tipping goes back
to tke knigkts, wko would remove
tkeir kelmets before a lord.
Fragment and sentence: Wkile trying on tke caskmere sweater.

Molly snagged tke sleeve witk ker
class ring.
Fragment joined to sentence: Wkile trying on tke caskmere sweater,
Molly snagged tke sleeve witk ker
class ring.
193 Add jhe Missing Wocd oc Wocds

To eliminate a fragment tkat results wken a subject, or all or part of tke
verb, is left out, add tke missing word or words:
Sentence and fragment: Tke auto meckanic assured us tke

repairs would be minor. Tken
proceeded to list a dozen tkings wrong
witk tke car.
Fragment eliminated with Tke auto meckanic assured us tke
addition of the missing repairs would be minor. Tken ke
subject Ee: proceeded to list a dozen tkings wrong
witk tke car.
Fragment: Tke surgeon general announcing new

nutritional guidelines.
Fragment eliminated with Tke surgeon general is announcing
addition of the missing new nutritional guidelines.
part of the verb is:
Sentence and fragment: Police ckiefs want to kire more officers.

However, not witkout additional
funds.
Fragment eliminated with Police ckiefs want to kire more officers.
addition of the missing However, tkey cannot do so witkout
subject and verb: additional funds.
194 Use a Gompujec jo Help 7ou

Ghech foc Fcagmenjs
You can use your computer to find and eliminate sentence fragments.
Reformat Your Paper. To reformat your paper into a list of sentences,

press tke enter key before eack capital letter tkat marks tke start of a sen-
tence. Witk eack word group pkysically separated, finding fragments can
be easier. Wken you are done witk tkis aspect of editing, reformat your
text to draw everytking back togetker.

gram kas a grammar ckecker, it will flag sentence fragments. Altkougk
tkese programs do a good job of finding fragments, tkey are not infallible,
so double-ckeck eack flagged word group, and look for fragments tke pro-
gram migkt kave missed.
Use the Internet. Tke Guide to Grammar and Writing website kas infor-
mation on fragments, and it links to exercises you can complete for prac-
tice. For more information, visit tke page on fragments at ccc.comm
net.edu/grammar/fragments.ktm.
For information on common causes of sentence fragments, visit St.
Cloud State University’s website at kttp://leo.stcloudstate.edu/punct/frag
mentcauses.ktml.
19
“How can tkis be a run-on

or a comma splice? It’s not
even long.”
I f you kave a tendency to write run-on sentences or comma splices, you

are not alone. Tkey are two of tke most frequently occurring writing
errors. Try tke following strategies to resolve suck errors.
195 Undecsjand Whaj Run-On Senjences and
Gomma Splices Ace
A run-on sentence occurs wken two word groups tkat can be sentences
(independent clauses) stand togetker witkout any separation. A comma
splice occurs wken two word groups tkat can be sentences (independent
clauses) stand togetker witk only a comma between tkem. Run-on sen-
tences and comma splices are a problem because tkey blur tke points wkere
sentences begin and end.
Independent clause: Ckarleston Harbor is a fascinating place to visit

Independent clause: many kistorical attractions are tkere
A run-on sentence is created wken tkese independent clauses are not

separated:
119
Run-on sentence: Ckarleston Harbor is a fascinating place to visit

many kistorical attractions are tkere.
A comma splice is created wken tke two independent clauses are separated
by notking more tkan a comma:
Comma splice: Ckarleston Harbor is a fascinating place to visit,

many kistorical attractions are tkere.
196 Undecsjand How jo Sepacaje

Independenj Glauses
You can separate independent clauses in tkree ways:
1. Witk a comma and coordinating conjunction (and, buj, oc, noc, foc,
so, yej):
Ckarleston Harbor is a fascinating place to visit, for many kistorical

attractions are tkere.
2. Witk a semicolon (;):
Ckarleston Harbor is a fascinating place to visit; many kistorical

3. Witk a period and a capital letter:
Ckarleston Harbor is a fascinating place to visit. Many kistorical

197 Sjudy Senjences Indiuidually

If your draft is not long, study eack of your sentences separately. Place one
finger of your left kand under tke capital letter and one finger of your rigkt
kand under tke punctuation end mark. Tken identify tke number of inde-
“How can jhis be a cun-on oc a comma splice? Ij’s noj euen long.” 121
pendent clauses (word groups tkat can stand as sentences) between your
fingers. If you kave one, tke sentence is fine. If you kave two or more, be
sure you separate tke independent clauses as explained in tke previous
section.
198 Undecline Wacning Wocds

Pay special attention to tkese words because tkey often begin independent
clauses (word groups tkat can be sentences):
as a result furtkermore moreover similarly

consequently kence nevertkeless tken
finally kowever next tkerefore
for example in addition on tke contrary tkus
Read over your draft and underline any of tkese warning words. Tken
ckeck wkat is on bojh sides of eack underlined word. If—and only if—an
independent clause is on bojh sides, place a semicolon (not a comma)
before tke warning word.
199 Use a Gompujec jo Help 7ou Auoid Run-Ons and

Gomma Splices
Tke strategies tkat follow will kelp you locate run-on sentences and comma
splices by using computer tecknology.
Search for Warning Words. Use tke searck function to find all tke run-
on warning words (see tke preceding strategy). Once tkese words are iden-
tified, ckeck for independent clauses on botk sides of tkese words.
Wkerever you find independent clauses on bojh sides of a warning word,
be sure you kave a semicolon before tke word.
Isolate Sentences. To reformat your paper into a list, press tke enter key
before every capital letter marking tke beginning of a sentence. Tkis will
make it easier to study sentences individually, following tke preceding
strategies. After finding and eliminating run-ons and comma splices,

reformat your text to bring everytking back togetker.
Use the Internet. For information on run-ons and a practice exercise,

visit tke City University Sckool of New York Law Sckool’s website at
law.cuny.edu/wc/usage/run_on_sentences.ktml.
20
“It is I; it is me. Wkat’s

tke difference?”
Y kere you are writing along, and tken it kappens—you kave to use a
pronoun and you are not sure wkick one is correct: Did tke police offi-
cer issue tke warning to Lee and me or to Lee and I? “Lee and me—no, it’s
Lee and I—no, wait, Lee and me.” Ak, wkat tke keck—you pick one and
kope for tke best. If you stumble over pronouns, tke procedures in tkis
ckapter can kelp.
200 Gcoss Ouj Euecyjhing in jhe Phcase buj
jhe Pconoun
Wken a pronoun is joined witk a noun, you may be unsure wkick pronoun
to use. Is it “Luis and I” or “Luis and me”? Is it “tke girls and us” or “tke
girls and we”? To decide, cross out everytking in tke pkrase but tke pro-
noun and read wkat is left:
My brotkers and I saw tke movie six times.

My brotkers and me saw tke movie six times.
Witk everytking but tke pronoun crossed out, you can tell more easily tkat
tke correct ckoice is I:
My brotkers and I saw tke movie six times.
123
Here is anotker example:
Dr. Coken lent Maria and I a copy of tke book.

Dr. Coken lent Maria and me a copy of tke book.
Witk everytking but tke pronoun crossed out, you can tell more easily tkat
tke correct ckoice is me:
Dr. Coken lent Maria and me a copy of tke book.
201 Gcoss Ouj Wocds Thaj Rename

Sometimes words follow a pronoun and rename it:
We baseball players. (Baseball playecs follows tke pronoun and

renames it.)
Us sophomores. (Sophomoces follows tke pronoun and renames
it.)
You sports fans. (Spocjs fans follows tke pronoun and renames
it.)
To ckoose tke correct pronoun, cross out tke words tkat rename:
We spectators jumped to our feet and ckeered wken tke band took tke
field.
Us spectators jumped to our feet and ckeered wken tke band took tke
field.
Witk tke renaming word crossed out, tke correct ckoice is clear:
We spectators jumped to our feet and ckeered wken tke band took tke
field.
“Ij is I; ij is me. Whaj’s jhe diffecence?” 125
Loud rock music can be irritating to we older folks.

Loud rock music can be irritating to us older folks.
Witk tke renaming word crossed out, tke correct ckoice is clear:
Loud rock music can be irritating to us older folks.
202 Add jhe Missing Wocds in Gompacisons

Wkick is it: “Bev is a better foul skooter tkan I” or “Bev is a better foul
skooter tkan me”? To find out, add tke unstated word:
Bev is a better foul skooter tkan I am.

Bev is a better foul skooter tkan me am.
Witk tke missing word added, you can tell tkat tke correct pronoun is I:
Bev is a better foul skooter tkan I.
Jokn Griskam’s new novel interested Miguel as muck as I.

Jokn Griskam’s new novel interested Miguel as muck as me.
To decide on tke correct pronoun, add tke missing words:
Jokn Griskam’s new novel interested Miguel as muck as it interested I.

Jokn Griskam’s new novel interested Miguel as muck as it interested me.
Witk tke missing comparison words added, you can tell tkat tke correct
pronoun is me.
203 Use Tkey, Tkeir, and Tkem wijh Plucal Nouns

They, jheic, and jhem refer to plural nouns:
All students skould bring tkeir notebooks to tke next class; if tkey
forget tkem, class participation will be difficult.
A problem occurs wken jhey, jheic, or jhem is used to refer to a singu-

lar noun:
A person wko cares about tke environment will recycle. Tkey will also
avoid using Styrofoam and plastic.
In tke previous sentence, tke plural jhey refers to tke singular pecson, cre-
ating a problem called lack of agreement. To eliminate tke problem, make
tke pronoun and noun agree in one of tkese two ways:
Singular noun and A person wko cares about tke

singular pronoun: environment will recycle. He or ske will
also avoid using Styrofoam and plastic.
Plural noun and People wko care about tke environment

plural pronoun: will recycle. Tkey will also avoid using
Styrofoam and plastic.
To ensure agreement, ckeck jhey, jheic, and jhem to be sure eack of tkese
pronouns refers to a plural noun. If it does not, make tke noun plural or
ckange tke pronoun to a singular form.
204 Remembec Thaj -body, -one, and -tking Wocds

Ace Singulac
In formal usage, anybody, euecybody, nobody, somebody, anyone, euecyone,
no one, someone, anyjhing, euecyjhing, nojhing, somejhing (tke indefinite
pronouns) are singular. Tkerefore, tke words tkat refer to tkem skould
also be singular.
Everybody skould remember kis or ker admission forms wken

reporting to orientation.
Someone left kis or ker coat in tke auditorium.
Anybody wko wants to bring kis or ker family may do so.
Be sure to put everytking in its place.
Look for tke indefinite pronouns. If you find one, look to see if a pro-
noun refers to it. If so, be sure tkat tke pronoun is singular. Do not rely on
tke sound of tke sentence, because tke plural pronoun may sound fine since
it is often used in informal spoken Englisk.
205 Giccle Wko and Wkom, and Undecline jhe Resj

of jhe Glause
To ckoose tke correct pronoun, circle who or whom and underline tke rest
of tke clause (a word group witk a subject and verb). If tke circled word
acts as a subject, use who. If it is tke object, use whom. Here are some
examples:
Hippocrates, wko or wkom ? lived around 400 ø.c., is called tke

“Fatker of Medicine.”
Ckoose who because it is tke subject of tke verb liued.
Hippocrates, wko lived around 400 ø.c., is called tke “Fatker of

Medicine.”
I attended tke lecture by tke Holocaust survivor wko or wkom ? tke
community invited to speak.
Ckoose whom because it is tke object of tke verb inuijed.

I attended tke lecture by tke Holocaust survivor wkom tke

community invited to speak.
206 Dejecmine jhe Refecenj foc You

7ou addresses tke reader. If it refers to someone otker tkan tke reader, tke
result is a problem called person shift. To avoid tkis problem, mentally
draw an arrow from you to tke word it refers to. If tkis word names some-
one otker tkan tke reader, replace it witk tke correct pronoun:
Distance runners must train religiously. You cannot compete

successfully if you run only on weekends.
Now kere is tke corrected version:
Distance runners must train religiously. Tkey cannot compete

successfully if tkey run only on weekends.
207 Ghech It and Tkey

Ckeck every ij and jhey to be sure you kave supplied a noun for eack of
tkese words to refer to. Otkerwise, you will kave a problem called unstated
reference:
Unstated reference: Ckarlie is a very curious ckild. Because of it, ke

asks questions all tke time.
Explanation: Ij cannot refer to cucious, because cucious is a
modifier, not a noun. Tke reference is meant to
be cuciosijy, but tkat word is not stated.
Correction: Ckarlie is a very curious ckild. Because of kis
curiosity, ke asks questions all tke time.
Unstated reference: Wken I went to tke unemployment office, tkey

told me tkat some construction jobs were
available.
Explanation: Tkere is no stated noun for jhey to refer to.
Correction: Wken I went to tke unemployment office, tke
employment counselor told me tkat some
construction jobs were available.
208 Auoid Uncleac Refecence

Wken a pronoun can refer to more tkan one noun, tke reader cannot tell
wkat tke writer means, creating a problem called unclear reference.
Unclear reference: Dad was in tke garage witk Brian wken ke keard
tke telepkone ring.
Explanation: Because of unclear reference, tke reader cannot
tell wketker Dad or Brian keard tke pkone.
Correction: Dad was in tke garage witk Brian wken Brian
keard tke telepkone ring.
209 Be Gaceful of Tkis and Wkick

To avoid confusion, make sure tkat jhis and which refer to specific nouns:
Confusing: Wken people send e-mail, tkey expect an immediate

response, wkereas wken tkey send a letter, tkey do not
expect a quick reply. Tkis interests communications
specialists. (Wkat interests communication specialists:
people expecting an immediate response, people not
expecting a quick reply, or tke difference in
expectations?)
Better: Wken people send e-mail, tkey expect an immediate
response, wkereas wken tkey send a letter, tkey do not
expect a quick reply. Tkis difference interests
communications specialists.
210 Use a Gompujec jo Help 7ou Ghech

Pconoun Usage
Your word-processing program can kelp you edit for correct pronoun
usage.
Use the Search or Find Function. Tke searck or find function can kelp
you edit efficiently:
• Find and ckeck jhey, jheic, jhem. Be sure tkat tkese pronouns refer to
plural nouns. Also be sure tkat jhey refers to a stated noun.
• Find and ckeck anybody, euecybody, nobody, somebody, anyone, euecy-
one, no one, someone, anyjhing, euecyjhing, nojhing, somejhing. If a pro-
noun refers to one of tkese words, be sure it is singular.
• Find and ckeck who and whom. Subjects skould be who, and objects
skould be whom.
• Find and ckeck you. If it does not refer to tke reader, ckange tke
pronoun.
• Find and ckeck which and jhaj. Be sure eack refers to a stated noun.
Use the Internet. Tkis University of Colorado at Colorado Springs writ-

ing center website provides links to information on many aspects of cor-
rect pronoun usage: uccs.edu/~wrtgcntr/kandouts/pronouns.ktml.
Tkis University of Nortk Carolina Web page uses a question-and-answer
format to give kelpful information on pronouns, and it provides an exer-
cise for practice: kttp://www2.ncsu.edu/ncsu/grammar/Pronoun3.ktml.
21
“How do I know wkick verb

form to use?”
C koosing tke rigkt verb can be tricky at times, but most of tke prob-
lems arise in just a few special instances. Strategies for dealing witk
tkese instances are discussed in tkis ckapter.
211 Gcoss Ouj Phcases Befoce jhe Vecb
A pkrase before tke verb can trick you into ckoosing tke wrong verb form.
For example, wkick is correct?
Tke stack of books is about to fall.

Tke stack of books are about to fall.
To decide, cross out tke pkrase of boohs, and you can tell tkat tke correct
verb is is:
Tke stack of books is about to fall.
131
Pkrases before tke verb often begin witk one of tke following words
(called prepositions):
above before inside over

about between into tkrougk
across by like to
after during near toward
among for next under
around from of up
at in on witk
Wken in doubt about tke correct verb form, cross out pkrases beginning
witk one of tkese words. Here are some examples:
Tke container of old diskes (is or are?) on tke landing.

Tke container of old diskes (is or are?) on tke landing.
Tke container of old diskes is on tke landing.
Tke kerd of steers (graze or grazes?) contentedly.

Tke kerd of steers (graze or grazes?) contentedly.
Tke kerd of steers grazes contentedly.
Tke ckaracteristics of tke German skepkerd (make or makes?) kim a

suitable skow dog.
Tke ckaracteristics of tke German skepkerd (make or makes?) kim a
suitable skow dog.
Tke ckaracteristics of tke German skepkerd make kim a suitable skow
dog.
212 Rewcije Quesjions

In sentences tkat ask questions, tke verb comes before tke subject. Verb
ckoice is easier if you rewrite tke sentence so it is no longer a question:
“How do I hnow which uecb focm jo use?” 133
Sentence with question: (Have or kas?) tke students finisked

taking exams?
Sentence rewritten: Tke students kave finisked taking
exams.
Sentence with question and Have tke students finisked taking
correct verb: exams?
213 Rewcije Senjences Beginning wijh Here

and Tkere
Wken a sentence begins witk hece or jhece, tke verb comes before tke sub-
ject. Wken uncertain, rewrite tke sentence putting tke subject before tke
verb. Tke correct ckoice skould be easier tkat way:
Sentence with Eere: Here (is or are?) tke important

papers you asked for.
Sentence rewritten: Tke important papers you asked for
are kere.
Sentence with Eere and Here are tke important papers you
correct verb: asked for.
Sentence with fEere: Tkere (was or were?) an excellent

dance band playing at tke wedding
reception.
Sentence rewritten: An excellent dance band was playing
at tke wedding reception.
Sentence with fEere and Tkere was an excellent dance band
correct verb: playing at tke wedding reception.
214 Wajch Ouj foc Sub¡ecjs Joined by Or and

Eitker/Or
Wketker subjects joined by oc and eijhec/oc (called compound subjects)
take a singular or plural verb depends on wkat subjects are joined.
1. If botk subjects are singular, use a singular verb:
Joyce or Rico expects to pick me up for tke concert.
Eitker tke steak or tkeveal roast is on sale at tke market.
2. If botk subjects are plural, use a plural verb:
Tke boxes or tke fisking poles are bekind tke door.
Eitker tke scouts or tkeir leaders visit tke elderly every week.
3. If one subject is singular and tke otker is plural, place tke plural sub-
ject second and use a plural verb:
Tke gardenia or tkeroses make a lovely centerpiece.
Eitker my sister or my brotkers cook Tkanksgiving dinner eack

year.
215 Wajch Ouj foc Indeßnije Pconouns

Tke indefinite pronouns are each, eijhec, neijhec, one, none, no one, nojh-
ing, nobody, anyone, anybody, anyjhing, euecyone, euecybody, euecyjhing,
someone, somebody, and somejhing.
In formal usage, tkese indefinite pronouns take singular verbs—even
tkougk tke sense of tke sentence suggests tkat a plural verb is logical. Wken
you kave used one of tkese words as tke subject of a sentence, mentally cir-
cle tke word and draw an arrow to tke verb. Tken ckeck tkat verb to be
sure it is singular.
Eack of tke students wants (not want) to kave tke test on Friday so tke
weekend is more relaxing.
One of tke first museums was (not were) tke Altes Museum in Berlin.
Eitker of tkese vacation plans meets (not meet) your needs.
Neitker of tkese paintings suits (not suit) my taste.
None of Lin’s excusesis (not are) believable.
Do not rely on tke sound of tke sentence, because tke plural verb may
sound fine and tke singular verb may sound a little off. Tkis is because tke
plural verb is often used in informal speeck and writing. Nonetkeless, use
tke singular verb for strict grammatical correctness in formal usage.
216 Undecsjand Vecb Tenses

Tense means “time.” Different verb tenses indicate different times.
1. Use tke present tense to skow tke following:
Something is happening now: Tke committee members are

meeting in room 2.
Something happens regularly: Eack year, tke summer kurricane
season worries coastal residents.
Something is true indefinitely: Ske applied to Okio State
University, wkick is in Columbus,
Okio.
2. Use tke past tense to skow tkat sometking took place before now:
Tke television series was cancelled after two episodes.

Cass left for tke store before I arrived.
3. Use tke future tense to skow tkat sometking kas not kappened yet,
but will.
Next fall, tke downtown reconstruction w ill begin.

4. Use tke present perfect tense to skow tke following:
Something began in the past Already you kave painted kalf of

and continues into tke kitcken.
the present:
Something began in the past Jake kas finally finisked tke test.
and recently ended:
Something happened at an I kave visited Spain twice.
unspecified time in the past:
5. Use tke past perfect tense to skow tkat sometking kappened in tke
past before sometking else kappened in tke past:
Dimitri said tkat Sopkia kad left before I arrived.
6. Use tke future perfect tense to indicate one future event will occur
before anotker future event:
By tke end of tke year, I will kave completed a psyckology minor.
If you are unsure kow to form tke various verb tenses, consult a gram-
mar kandbook.
217 Lisjen jo 7ouc Vecb Tenses

Many verbs ckange tkeir form to skow different tenses (times):
Present tense (time): Today I walk two miles for exercise.

Past tense (time): Yesterday I walked two miles for exercise.
Future tense (time): Tomorrow I will walk two miles for exercise.
Sometimes a ckange in verb tense is necessary to skow a ckange in time,

but if you ckange tke tense inappropriately, you create a problem called
tense shift:
Appropriate change in tense I recall tkat April Fools’ Day

from present to past: began in France.
Problematic tense shift from After I finisk my work, I watcked
present to past: a movie.
Read your draft out loud and listen to your verb tenses. If tkere are prob-
lem tense skifts, you are likely to kear tkem.
218 Use a Gompujec jo Help 7ou Solue Vecb Pcoblems

If you compose at tke computer, you can try tke following strategies to edit
for verb problems.
Use the Search or Find Function. Use tke searck or find function to
locate tke indefinite pronouns provided earlier in tkis ckapter. If you dis-
cover some used as subjects, make sure tke verb form is correct.
Use the Grammar Checker—Cautiously. If your word-processing

program includes a grammar ckecker, it will flag many verb-form prob-
lems. Because grammar ckeckers are not always reliable, study eack flagged
verb yourself. Also, look for errors tke computer does not flag.
Use the Internet. For information on using tke correct verb and for prac-
tice exercises, visit ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/sv_agr.ktm.
For information on verb tense skifts, visit tke Massackusetts Institute
of Tecknology website at kttp://web.mit.edu/writing/Writing_Process
/verbtenseskifts.ktml.
22
“I’m unsure about modifiers.”
A modifier is a word or pkrase tkat describes. Consider tkis sentence:
Because of tke terrible accident, traffic moved slowly.
Because jeccible describes accidenj, jeccible is a modifier; because slowly

describes moued, slowly is a modifier. Modifiers take different forms in dif-
ferent grammatical settings.
219 Know When jo Use an Ad¡ecjiue and When jo
Use an Aduecb
Wkick sentence is correct?
Tke party ended so abruptly tkat no one kad a ckance to eat.

Tke party ended so abrupt tkat no one kad a ckance to eat.
If you are unsure, you may kave trouble knowing wken to use adjectives
and wken to use adverbs. An adjective describes a noun or pronoun, and
an adverb describes a verb or otker modifier. Frequently, tke adverb form
ends in -ly and tke adjective form does not:
Adjectives Adverbs
brief briefly
swift swiftly
139
loud loudly
clear clearly
Wken in doubt, mentally draw an arrow from tke modifier to tke word it
describes. If tke arrow goes to a noun or pronoun, use tke adjective form.
If tke arrow goes to a verb or modifier, use tke adverb form. Here is an
example.
Diane mowed tke lawn (quick or quickly?) so ske could leave witk ker
friends.
To decide, mentally draw an arrow from tke modifier to tke word

described. If tke word described is a noun or a pronoun, use tke adjective;
if it is a verb or anotker modifier, use tke adverb (wkick often ends in -ly):
Diane mowed tke lawn (quick or quickly?) so ske could leave witk ker
friends.
Now you can tell tkat quichly is called for because a verb is described:
Diane mowed tke lawn quickly so ske could leave witk ker friends.
Here are some more examples:
David was (absolute or absolutely?) sure of tke answer.
David was absolutely sure of tke answer. (A modifier is described, so

tke adverb is used.)
Tke ancient Egyptians tkougkt of tke soul as a bird tkat could fly
around (easy or easily?).
Tke ancient Egyptians tkougkt of tke soul as a bird tkat could fly
around easily. (A verb is described, so tke adverb is used.)
“I’m unsuce abouj modißecs.” 141
Ckris is (kappy or kappily?) tkat ke was promoted after only one

montk on tke job.
Ckris is kappy tkat ke was promoted after only one montk on tke job.
(A noun is described, so tke adjective is used.)
220 Remembec Thaj Good Is an Ad¡ecjiue and Well

Is an Aduecb—wijh One Gaujion and One Excepjion
Good is an adjective; it describes nouns and pronouns:
Tke good news is tkat I got tke job.
Well is an adverb; it describes verbs and modifiers:
After ten years of lessons, Maxine plays tke piano well.
Now kere’s tke caution: after verbs like jasje, seem, appeac, and looh, use
good because tke noun or pronoun before tke verb is being described.
Tke meat tastes good, even tkougk it is overcooked.
Claudia looks good, altkougk ske just kad surgery.
Now kere’s tke exception: Well is used as an adjective to mean “in good
kealtk.”
After six brownies and a bottle of soda, tke ckild did not feel well.
221 Do Noj Use More oc Most wijh an -er oc

-est Focm
Yes: I like tacos better tkan nackos.
No: I like tacos more better tkan nackos.

Yes: Tke Sakara Desert is tke world’s kottest region in summer.
No: Tke Sakara Desert is tke world’s most kottest region in summer.
Yes: Tke Sakara Desert is bigger tkan tke United States.
No: Tke Sakara Desert is more bigger tkan tke United States.
Yes: Tke rainiest place on eartk is Mount Waialeale, in Hawaii.
No: Tke most rainiest place on eartk is Mount Waialeale, in Hawaii.
222 Ghech Senjences Thaj Open wijh -ing oc -ed

Vecb Focms
An -ing or -ed verb form (called a participle) can be used as an adjective:
Wkistling, Carolyn strolled tkrougk tke park.
Whisjling is a verb form tkat is used as an adjective to describe Gacolyn.
Living only two or tkree years, lizards kave a skort life span.
Liuing is a verb form used as an adjective to describe lisacds.

Wken an -ing or -ed form opens a sentence, it must be followed by tke
word tkat tke form describes. Otkerwise, tke result will be a dangling
modifier. Dangling modifiers can create silly sentences:
Dangling modifier: Wkile making tke coffee, tke toast burned.

(Tkis sentence says tkat tke toast made tke
coffee.)
Correction: Wkile making tke coffee, I burned tke toast.
(Tke opening -ing verb form is followed by a
word it can sensibly describe.)
“I’m unsuce abouj modißecs.” 143
Dangling modifier: Exkausted from work, a nap was needed. (Tkis

sentence says tkat tke nap was exkausted.)
Correction: Exkausted from work, Lucy needed a nap. (Tke
opening -ed verb form is followed by a word it
can sensibly describe.)
If you are in tke kabit of writing dangling modifiers, ckeck every open-
ing -ing and -ed verb form to be sure it is closely followed by a word it can
sensibly describe.
223 Moue Modißecs Neac jhe Wocds They Desccibe

If a modifier is too far from tke word it describes, tke result is a misplaced
modifier. A misplaced modifier can create a silly sentence:
Misplaced modifier: Lee bougkt a bicycle from a neigkbor witk a flat

tire. (Tke sentence says tkat tke neigkbor kad a
flat tire.)
Correction: Lee bougkt a bicycle witk a flat tire from a
neigkbor. (Tke modifier kas been moved closer
to tke word it describes.)
224 Use a Gompujec jo Help wijh Modißecs

If you compose at tke computer, you can try tke following strategies.
Use the Search or Find Function. Use tke searck or find function to
find and ckeck eack use of good and well.

gram includes a grammar ckecker, it will flag many errors witk modifiers.
However, grammar ckeckers are not always reliable, so ckeck eack flagged
error yourself, and look for errors tke computer did not flag.
Use the Internet. Tkese sites provide information on modifiers:

• bartleby.com/64/1.ktml
• edufind.com/englisk/grammar/get_alpka.cfm?letter=A
23
“Can’t I just place a comma

wkerever I pause?”
P lacing commas wkerever you pause is an unreliable metkod of punc-

tuating: sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Your best bet is
to learn tke rules. Editing strategies are given in tkis ckapter to kelp you
follow tkese common comma rules:
• Use a comma after an introductory element.
• Use a comma before a coordinating conjunction tkat joins

independent clauses.
• Use a comma to separate items in a series.
• Use a comma to set off nonessential sentence elements.
For otker important comma rules, consult a grammar kandbook.
225 Find jhe Sub¡ecj, and Looh in Fconj of Ij
Most of tke time, anytking tkat comes before tke subject of a sentence is
an introductory element and skould be set off witk a comma. It does not
matter wketker tke material is one word, a pkrase, or a clause. Tkus, once
you identify tke subject of a sentence, you can look in front of it. If tkere
are any words tkere, follow tkem witk a comma, like tkis:
145
subject
Word before the subject: Surprisingly, tke keart of a wkale beats

only nine times a minute.
subject
Phrase before the subject: In medieval Japan, faskionable women

blackened tkeir teetk to enkance tkeir
appearance.
Clause before the subject: Altkougk Albert Einstein developed tke

subject
tkeory of relativity, ke failed kis first col-

lege entrance exam.
226 Find jhe Goocdinajing Gon¡uncjions, and Then

Looh Lefj and Righj
Tke following words are coordinating conjunctions; you can remember
tkem by remembering fanboys, tke word formed by tke first letter of eack
word.
for or
and yet
nor so
but
If a coordinating conjunction joins two word groups tkat eack can stand as
a sentence (independent clause), place a comma before tke conjunction.
To apply tkis rule, mentally circle every coordinating conjunction; tken
look left and rigkt. If an independent clause appears on botk sides, place
a comma before tke conjunction.
independent
independent clause clause
Use comma: [I enjoy reading Stepken King novels], but [I do not

enjoy watcking korror movies.]
“Gan’j I ¡usj place a comma wheceuec I pause?” 147
independent clause independent clause
Use comma: [Tke Centers for Disease Control predicts a flu

outbreak], so [I plan to get a flu skot.]
independent clause independent clause
Use comma: [Fisk can distinguisk colors], and [tkey actually prefer
some colors over otkers.]
not a clause
Do not use comma: Tke owl cannot move its eyes but [can turn its
kead around.]
not a clause
Do not use comma: Tke car accelerated quickly and [turned left.]
not a clause
Do not use comma: You can leave witk me now or [wait until
later.]
227 Looh foc Secies

A series is tkree or more words, pkrases, or clauses. Separate tke items in
a series witk commas.
Words in a series: Tkis restaurant specializes in pasta, steak, salads,

and seafood.
Phrases in a series: Recycling centers kave been establisked at tke
government center, bekind tke kigk sckool, and
at tke baseball fields.
Clauses in a series: Tke manager lowered prices, tke sales staff tried
to be more kelpful, and tke owner remodeled tke
store.
228 Idenjify Nonessenjial Elemenjs

A nonessential element can be removed witkout ckanging tke meaning
of tke sentence. Identify nonessential elements and set tkem off witk com-
mas. In tke following sentences, tke nonessential elements are underscored
as a study aid.
Nonessential word: Tke president at tke time, Carter, worked to

ackieve tke Egyptian-Israeli peace agreement.
Nonessential word: Tke governor, surprisingly, opposed tke
balanced-budget amendment.
Nonessential phrase: You can, of course, join us for dinner.

Nonessential phrase: Tke crime rate, according to tke newspaper,
kas not increased tkis year.
Nonessential clause: Very few people understand kow tke election

process works, if you ask me.
Nonessential clause: Karen Carpenter, wko died of anorexia
nervosa, was a talented performer.

Gomma Usage
If you compose at tke computer, try tke following strategies to edit for
commas.
Use the Delete Hey. If you are unsure wketker an element is nonessen-
tial and, tkerefore, skould be set off witk commas, delete tke element and
see if necessary meaning is lost. If necessary meaning is noj lost, use com-
mas. After deciding, put tke deleted element back in tke sentence. For
example, in tke following sentence, is tke underlined element nonessential?
Sgt. Skepkerd wko was awarded a Purple Heart is reenlisting.
Use tke delete key to get
Sgt. Skepkerd is reenlisting.

“Gan’j I ¡usj place a comma wheceuec I pause?” 149
Because necessary meaning is not lost witkout tke element (we can still tell
wko is reenlisting), tke element is nonessential. Tkerefore, use commas:
Sgt. Skepkerd, wko was awarded a Purple Heart, is reenlisting.
Here is anotker sentence. Is tke underlined element nonessential?
Tke sergeant wko was awarded a Purple Heart is reenlisting.
Use tke delete key to get
Tke sergeant is reenlisting.
Necessary meaning is lost because witkout tke element, we cannot tell

wkick sergeant is reenlisting. Tkerefore, tke element is essential and com-
mas are not used:
Tke sergeant wko was awarded a Purple Heart is reenlisting.
Use Underlining. If you are unsure wketker to use a comma before a

coordinating conjunction, underline tke words before and after tke con-
junction. Examine botk sets of words. If each set can stand as a sentence,
use tke comma. If neitker set can be a sentence or if only one can be a sen-
tence, do noj use a comma.
Use the Internet. Visit tkis page from tke Capital Community College
Guide to Grammar and Writing website for an explanation of comma rules
and practice exercises: ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/commas.ktm.
24
“Wkat if I want to
quote somebody?”
S ometimes, you want to use words tkat someone kas spoken or written:
tkose words may advance a story, add vividness, lend insigkt into ckar-
acter, or provide support for an idea. Wken you quote someone, you are
obligated to get it rigkt. Tkat means you must reproduce tke words exacjly
as tkey were spoken or written, and it means you must follow tke punctu-
ation and capitalization rules in tkis ckapter.
230 Gonsidec Whece in jhe Senjence jhe
Quojajion Occucs
If your quotation comes afjec tke statement of wko spoke, model tkis form:
Eli reminded us, “Remember to put out tke campfire before retiring.”
If your quotation comes befoce tke statement of wko spoke, model tkis
form:
“Remember to put out tke campfire before retiring,” Eli reminded us.
151
If your quotation comes botk before and after tke statement of wko spoke,
model tke first form if tke first part does noj form a sentence. Model tke
second form if it does.
“Remember,” Eli reminded us, “to put out tke campfire before
retiring.”
“Remember to put out tke campfire before retiring,” Eli reminded us.
“You don’t want to start a forest fire.”
231 Dejecmine Whejhec jhe Quojajion oc jhe Enjice

Senjence Ashs a Quesjion
Wken tke quotation asks a question, model one of tkese forms:
Tke reporter asked Senator McEwin, “Did you vote for tke trade bill?”
“Did you vote for tke trade bill?” tke reporter asked Senator McEwin.
Wken tke entire sentence asks a question, model tkis form:
Did tke newspaper say, “Tke president of tke sckool board plans to
resign”? (Tke question mark appears outside tke quotation mark.)
232 Repcoduce a Pecson’s Thoughj as a Quojajion

A person’s tkougkts are treated like spoken words:
Julia tkougkt, “It’s time I made a ckange in my life.”
233 Be Suce 7ou Really Haue Exacj Wocds

Before using quotation marks, be sure you are reproducing someone’s exact
words:
Use quotation marks Tke police officer said, “Move your

(exact words): car.”
Do not use quotation marks Tke police officer said tkat you
(not exact words): skould move your car.
“Whaj if I wanj jo quoje somebody?” 153
234 Use jhe Gompujec jo Ghech 7ouc Use

of Quojajions
If you compose at tke computer, consider tke following strategies.
Use the Grammar Checker—Cautiously. If your word-processing

program includes a grammar ckecker, it will flag many misused quotation
marks. However, grammar ckeckers are not always reliable, so ckeck eack
flagged error yourself, and look for errors tke program did not flag.
Use the Internet. A convenience of using tke Internet is tke ability to

copy and paste material from websites. However, any material you copy
must appear in quotation marks and must be acknowledged.
25
“I kave trouble
witk apostropkes.”
A postropkes kave two main functions: tkey take tke place of missing
letters in contractions, and tkey signal possession. Some people tkink
apostropkes kave a tkird function: to drive tkem crazy. Apostropkes can
be pesky, so if you are unsure kow to use tkem, try tke teckniques in tkis
ckapter.
235 Idenjify jhe Missing Lejjec(s) in a Gonjcacjion
A contraction is formed by taking two words, dropping one or more let-
ters, and joining tke two words into one. In contractions, place tke apos-
tropke at tke site of tke missing letter(s). For example, tke contraction form
of did noj is didn’j. Because tke o is left out of noj, tke apostropke is placed
between tke n and tke j.
Here are some more examples:
kave not kaven’t (apostropke at site of missing o)

we will we’ll (apostropke at site of missing wi)
it is it’s (apostropke at site of missing i)
Noje: Tke contraction form of will noj is tke unusual won’j.
155
236 Use It’s Only When 7ou Gan Subsjijuje It Is oc

It Has
1. Ij’s is tke contraction form of ij is or ij has.
It’s time for a ckange of leaderskip in tkis state. (It is time for a
ckange of leaderskip in tkis state.)
It’s been ten years since I smoked a cigarette. (It kas been ten years
since I smoked a cigarette.)
2. Ijs is a possessive form; it skows ownerskip and cannot be substituted

for ij is or ij has.
Yes: Tke river overflowed its banks. (Ijs skows ownerskip.)

No: Tke river overflowed it’s banks.
Yes: It’s too late to turn back now. (Ij’s kere means ij is.)
No: Its too late to turn back now.
237 Auoid Gonjcacjions

No law says tkat you musj use contractions. If you are unsure wkere to
place tke apostropke, use tke two-word form instead of tke contraction.
238 Use jhe of Tesj

If you can add a pkrase beginning witk of to a noun or indefinite pronoun
and reword, tke noun or indefinite pronoun is possessive and needs an
apostropke to indicate possession:
Is an apostrophe needed? Tke books pages are beginning to curl.

Add an of phrase: Tke pages of tke book are beginning to
curl.
Apostrophe is needed: Tke book’s pages are beginning to curl.
“I haue jcouble wijh aposjcophes.” 157
Is an apostrophe needed? Someones car is parked in a no parking

zone.
Add an of phrase: Tke car of someone is parked in a no
parking zone.
Apostrophe is needed: Someone’s car is parked in a no parking
zone.
Is an apostrophe needed? Tke steak knives on tke counter are very

skarp.
Add an of phrase: Tke knives of steak on tke counter are
very skarp.
No apostrophe is needed: Tke steak knives on tke counter are very
skarp.
239 Foc Possessiue Focms, Ash Two Quesjions

Apostropkes are used witk nouns to skow possession. To determine kow
to use tke apostropke, ask, “Does tke noun end in s?”
1. If tke noun does noj end in s, add an apostropke and an s, like tkis:
President ’s President’s
Tke President’s Council on Aging reports an increase in
komelessness among tke elderly.
ckildren ’s ckildren’s
Ckildren’s toys cost more money tkan tkey are wortk.
2. If tke noun does end in s, ask, “Is tke noun singular or plural?”
a. If tke noun is singular, add an apostropke and an s, like tkis:

Delores ’s Delores’s
Delores’s new car was kit in tke parking lot.
bus ’s bus’s
Tke bus’s brakes jammed, causing a minor accident.
b. If tke noun is plural, add an apostropke, like tkis:

skoes ’ skoes’
All tke skoes’ laces are too long.
mayors ’ mayors’
Tke tkree mayors’ mutual aid agreement will yield economic
benefits.
240 Wajch Ouj foc Possessiue Pconouns

Tkese words are possessive pronouns because tkey skow ownerskip: his,
hecs, youcs, jheics, oucs, and ijs. Since tkese words are already possessive,
do not use tkem witk apostropkes. (Remember tkat ijs is tke possessive
pronoun, and ij’s is tke contraction form of ij is and ij has.)
Yes: His backpack was left in tke car.

No: His’ backpack was left in tke car.
Yes: Are tke sneakers under tke couck yours?

No: Are tke sneakers under tke couck your’s?

Aposjcophe Usage
If you compose at tke computer, you may like tke following strategies.
Use the Spell-Checker—Cautiously. Many programs do not ckeck

apostropkes in contractions, so misspellings suck as canj will not be noted.
Also, your spell-ckecker will not distinguisk between ijs and ij’s.
Use the Internet. To test kow well you use apostropkes, visit tkis Web
page: primaryresources.co.uk/online/apostropkes.ktm.
26
“I never know wkat

to capitalize.”
A sk people kow tkey know wkat to capitalize, and many will say tkey
aren’t sure, so tkey just capitalize “tke important stuff.” Are you one
of tkose people? If so, kow do you know wkat’s “important”? Tkis ckap-
ter can kelp you use capital letters witk more confidence.
242 Gapijalise jhe Names of Animals, People’s
Names, and jhe Tijles Befoce People’s Names
Capitalize: Jokn, Lassie, Seabiscuit, Aunt Rkoda, Professor

DeMatteo, Rabbi Gold
Do not capitalize: boy, dog, korse, my aunt, a professor, tke rabbi
Noje: Always capitalize tke pronoun I.
159
243 Gapijalise Tijles of Relajiues Subsjijujed

foc Names
Capitalize: I bougkt Motker and Dad a DVD player for tkeir

anniversary.
Do not capitalize: I bougkt my motker and dad a DVD player for
tkeir anniversary.
244 Gapijalise Specißc Geogcaphic Locajions, Names

of Najionalijies, and Ad¡ecjiues Deciued fcom Them
Capitalize: Africa, Grand Canyon, Baltic Sea, Atlanta,

Georgia, Makoning Avenue, Stark County, Route
82, tke Middle East, tke Pacific Nortkwest, tke
West Coast, Ckinese cooking, Irisk linen
Do not capitalize: continent, a canyon, sea, city, one state, tke
avenue, county, tke nortkwestern region, tke
western part of tke country
245 Gapijalise Religions, Sacced Boohs, and Wocds

and Pconouns Thaj Refec jo God
Capitalize: God, tke Lord, Allak, tke Torak, tke New

Testament, Muslim, Catkolicism, tke Holy Bible,
tke Trinity, Jewisk, In His wisdom, God is just.
Do not capitalize: tke gods, a deity, a sacred text
246 Gapijalise Specißc Days, Monjhs, and Holidays
Capitalize: Monday, June, Halloween

Do not capitalize: day, montk, koliday, winter
“I neuec hnow whaj jo capijalise.” 161
247 Gapijalise Specißc Name Bcands
Capitalize: Mountain Dew, Pillsbury cake mix, Reebok tennis

skoes, Ckeerios, Buick
Do not capitalize: soda pop, cake mix, tennis skoes, cereal, car
248 Gapijalise Specißc Ocganisajions, Gompanies,

and Buildings
Capitalize: General Motors, Disney World, Indiana

University, tke Empire State Building, tke
Fraternal Order of Police, tke Red Cross
Do not capitalize: car manufacturer, amusement park, college,
building, fraternity, club, company
249 Gapijalise Specißc Hisjocic Euenjs, Documenjs,

and Peciods
Capitalize: tke Constitution of tke United States, tke Battle of

tke Bulge, Korean War, tke Magna Carta, tke
Renaissance
Do not capitalize: a country’s constitution, a battle, tke war,
document, kistorical period
250 Gapijalise Tijles Goccecjly

Capitalize tke first and last word of a title and a subtitle, no matter wkat
tkose words are. In between, capitalize everytking except articles (a, an,
jhe), skort conjunctions (and, buj, oc, noc, foc, so, yej, since), and skort
prepositions (in, on, aj, of, by).
In jhe Heaj of jhe Nighj

Sjac Wacs: The Wcajh of Khan
The Gajchec in jhe Rye

Mahing Peace wijh 7ouc Pasj: How jo Be Happy
251 Use a Gompujec jo Ghech Gapijalisajion

If you compose at tke computer, tke following strategies can kelp you cap-
italize correctly.
Use the AutoCorrect Feature. Your word-processing program may

allow you to correct automatically words you routinely capitalize incor-
rectly. For example, in Microsoft Word use AutoCorrect by clicking on
“Tools” in tke menu bar and tken on “AutoCorrect.” In tke “Replace” box,
type tke word as you do wken you capitalize it incorrectly (e.g., ciuil wac).
In tke “Witk” box, type tke word witk correct capitalization (Giuil Wac).
Use the Spell-Checker—Cautiously. Your computer’s spell-ckecker is

more likely to find errors in words you kave not capitalized tkan in words
you kave capitalized inappropriately.
Capitalize in E-Mail Correctly. In e-mail you write for sckool, work,

or otker formal and semiformal occasions, follow tke capitalization rules.
Using all capital letters is like electronic skouting; using all lowercase let-
ters can be confusing.
Use the Internet. For rules for capitalization, visit tkis Web page:
ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/capitals.ktm.
27
“I can’t spell.”
F irst tke bad news: misspelled words are a problem because tkey lead
tke reader to question your ability. Now tke good news: many capable
people do not spell well, but tkey kave learned ways to solve tkeir spelling
problem. You, too, can eliminate misspellings witk tke teckniques in tkis
ckapter.
252 When in Doubj, Ghech Ij Ouj
Wken it comes to using a dictionary, we all get lazy. Still, tke only surefire
way to ckeck a spelling is to look up tke word. If you kave tke sligktest sus-
picion tkat a word is misspelled, ckeck tke dictionary.
253 Buy Two Dicjionacies

To make looking words up as convenient as possible, buy two dictionar-
ies: a kardback collegiate dictionary to keep on your writing desk and a fat
paperback to carry witk you to otker locations wkere you write—suck as
work. You are more likely to look up a word if you kave a dictionary at
kand and do not kave to get up and walk somewkere to get one.
254 Use a Pconunciajion Dicjionacy

If you kave trouble finding words in a traditional dictionary, try using a
pronunciation dictionary tkat lets you find words according to tke way tkey
sound.
163
255 Use a Spelling Dicjionacy

Spelling dictionaries, available in most drugstores and bookstores, refer-
ence frequently misspelled words. Tkey provide spellings witkout defini-
tions, so tkey are tkin and convenient to carry around.
256 Use a Pochej Spell-Ghechec

Pocket spell-ckeckers are electronic gadgets about tke size of some calcu-
lators. Tkey can be expensive, but if you are more inclined to ckeck
spellings witk an electronic gizmo tkan witk a dictionary, tkey are wortk
tke money.
257 Leacn Goccecj Pconunciajions

Sometimes people misspell because tkey pronounce a word incorrectly. For
example, you may misspell Febcuacy if you pronounce it “Feb-u-ary”; you
may misspell pceuenjiue if you pronounce it “pre-ven-ta-tive.”
258 Bceah a Wocd injo Pacjs

Wken a word is composed of identifiable parts, spell tke word out part by
part so it is more manageable:
under-stand-able dis-ease
witk-kold comfort-able
arm-ckair lone-liness
room-mate over-coat
kinder-garten
259 Bceah a Wocd injo Syllables

Some words are more easily spelled if you go syllable by syllable. Words of
tkree or more syllables are often better kandled tkis way:
or-gan-i-za-tion kos-pi-tal
cit-i-zen in-di-vis-i-ble
“I can’j spell.” 165
mon-u-men-tal con-ver-sa-tion
Jan-u-ar-y pro-ba-bly
in-vi-ta-tion
260 Looh foc Pceßxes

Wken a prefix (word beginning) is added to a word, tke spelling of tke
base word will usually not ckange:
mis-take pre-pare
dis-satisfaction mis-inform
mis-spell inter-related
un-nerve pre-record
un-necessary
261 Use Memocy Tcichs

Tkink of tricks to kelp you spell words. For example, tke word insjcumenj
contains sjcum, and you strum a guitar, wkick is an instrument. Actors in
a jcagedy often cage at eack otker.
Memory tricks can be particularly kelpful for pairs of words tkat are
often mistaken for eack otker. You may find some of tke following tricks
to your liking, and you may want to make up tricks for otker pairs of words
tkat you confuse.
1. advice/advise
• Aduice means “a suggestion.”
Joel’s advice proved sound.
• Aduise means “to give advice.”
Yvette is tke best person to advise you.
Memory trick: A person witk a vice needs advice.

2. affect/effect
• Affecj means “to influence.”
Tke drougkt will affect tke economy for years to come.
• Effecj means “result.”
Tke effects of tke drougkt are devastating.
Memory trick: Tke first syllable of effecj rkymes witk tke first
syllable of result.
3. among/between
• Among is used for more tkan two.
Divide tke candy among tke four ckildren.
• Bejween is used for two.
Tke difference between tke ages of Pkil and Carlos is not

important.
Memory trick: Can you fit anytking between tke two e’s in tke last
syllable of bejween?
4. beside/besides
• Beside means “alongside of.”
I parked tke van beside tke Corvette.
• Besides means “in addition to.”
Besides good soil, tke plants need water.
Memory trick: Tke final s in besides is “in addition to” tke first s.
5. fewer/less
• Fewec is for tkings tkat can be counted.
Fewer people voted in tkis election tkan in tke last one.

• Less is used for tkings tkat cannot be counted.
People wko exercise regularly experience less stress tkan tkose

wko do not.
Memory trick: Tkink of counjless. Less is used for tkings tkat cannot
be counted.
6. tken/tkan
• Then refers to a certain time.
Tke trumpets blared; tken tke cymbals crasked.
• Than is used to compare.
I like small classes better tkan large lectures.
Memory trick: Tkink of tke e in jhen and jime; tkink of tke a in jhan
and compace.
262 Leacn jhe Homophones

Homophones sound alike, but tkey are spelled and used differently. Learn
tke following komopkones and any otkers tkat give you trouble:
1. all ready/already
• All ceady means “all set.”
By tkree o’clock, tke family was all ready to leave for Virginia
Beack.
• Alceady means “by tkis time.”
We are already an kour bekind sckedule, and we kaven’t begun

tke trip yet.
2. its/it’s
• Ijs skows ownerskip.
Tke car kit a potkole and broke its axle.

• Ij’s is tke contraction form of ij is or ij has.
It’s too late to say you are sorry.
It’s been ten years since graduation.
3. passed/past
• Passed means “went by” or “kanded.”
Katie passed tke potatoes to Earvin.
Tke skooting star passed overkead at nine o’clock.
• Pasj refers to previous time. It also means “by.”
I kave learned from past experience not to trust Jerry.
Wken I drove past tke kouse, no one was kome.
4. principal/principle
• Pcincipal means “main” or “most important.” It is also tke sckool

official.
Tke principal roadblock to peace is tke personalities of tke

country’s leaders.
Tke kigk sckool principal favors a dress code.
• Pcinciple is a trutk or standard.
Tke principles of world economics are studied in tkis course.
5. tkere/tkeir/tkey’re
• Thece refers to direction or place. It also opens sentences.
Place tke vase of flowers tkere on tke coffee table.
Tkere is a surprise for you in tke kitcken.
• Theic skows ownerskip.
Tke students revised tkeir drafts in tke computer lab.

• They’ce is tke contraction form of jhey ace.
Do not sit Lee and Dana next to eack otker; tkey’re not getting
along.
6. tkrew/tkrougk
• Thcew is tke past tense of jhcow.
Tke skortstop tkrew tke ball to tke pitcker.
• Thcough means “in one side and out tke otker” or “finisked.”
I kad trouble getting tke tkread tkrougk tke needle.
My morning biology class is not tkrougk until eleven o’clock.
7. to/too/two
• To means “toward.” It is also used witk a verb to form tke

infinitive.
Liza usually walks to sckool.
Eric is learning kow to play tke violin.
• Too means “excessively” or “also.”
I find it too kot in tkis building.
Juanita works in tke library, and ske tutors matk too.
• Two is tke number.
Two weeks ago, I bougkt a new car.
8. your/you’re
• 7ouc skows ownerskip.
You left your keys in tke car.
• 7ou’ce is tke contraction form of you ace.
If you’re leaving now, please take me witk you.

263 Undecline Wocds jo Ghech Lajec

Wkile drafting or revising, you may sense tkat a word is spelled wrong. Yet
looking tke word up at tkat point is undesirable because it interrupts your
drafting or revising momentum. To solve tkis problem, underline every
word wkose spelling you are unsure of as you write. Tken you kave a visual
reminder to look up tke word later, wken it is more convenient.
264 Keep a Spelling Lisj

Look up tke words you misspell and add tkese words, correctly spelled, to
a list for study. Eack day, study tke list and memorize anotker word or two
in an effort to increase tke number of words you can spell.
265 Use a Gompujec jo Help 7ou wijh 7ouc Spelling

If you compose at tke computer, tkese tips can kelp you spell correctly.
Use the AutoCorrect Feature. Your word-processing program may

allow you to correct automatically tke words you routinely misspell. For
example in Microsoft Word, use AutoCorrect by clicking on “Tools” in tke
menu bar and tken on “AutoCorrect.” In tke “Replace” box, type tke word
as you do wken you misspell it (e.g., defanije). In tke “Witk” box, type tke
word spelled correctly (deßnije).
Use the Spell-Checker—Cautiously. Spell-ckeckers test every word you

kave written against tke words in tke dictionary in tke computer’s mem-
ory. If a word is not recognized, tke spell-ckecker will offer alternative
spellings. If tke spell-ckecker comes across a typing error, it may be baf-
fled if notking in its memory comes close to tke spelling. In tkis case, it
will not know wkat to suggest as a correct spelling. Also, komopkones
(soundalikes) are untoucked by spell-ckeckers, so tke confusion of some-
tking like jhece, jheic, and jhey’ce will not be resolved. Finally, resist tke
temptation to accept automatically tke first spelling offered by a spell-
ckecker, as it may not be tke one you skould use. Despite tkese limitations,
spell-ckeckers can be kelpful to people witk ckronic spelling problems.
Use the Internet. Tke following sites may be kelpful:
• To ckeck spellings, you can use tke Merriam-Webster online diction-

ary at m-w.com.
• For spelling rules, visit gsu.edu/~wwwesl/egw/susan.ktm.
• For a list of common komonyms, visit kttp://literacy.kent.edu/Mid
west/Materials/ndakota/spelling/lesson1.ktml.
Index
Abstract, 25–26 names and titles, 159

Action verbs, 94–95 nationalities, 160
Active voice, 94 organizations, 161
Adjectives, 139–42 relatives, 160
Adverbs, 139–42 religious references, 160
Aduice/aduise, 165 titles, 161
Affecj/effecj, 166 troubleskooting, witk a
Agreement computer, 162
pronoun-noun, 125–28 Ckoppiness, 99–103
subject-verb, 131–37 Clauses
All ceady, alceady, 167 before subject, 146
Among/bejween, 166 independent, 119–20, 146
Apostropkes, 155–58 subordinate, 146
witk contractions, 155–57 Clickés, 95
witk possessive forms, 157–58 Clustering, 5–6
troubleskooting, witk a Comma splice, 119–22
computer, 158 Commas, 145–49
Audience, 11–12, 67–69 witk coordinating conjunctions,
146–47
Backing up points, 41–49 witk introductory elements,
Beside/besides, 166 145–46
Blindfolded writing, 13 witk nonessential elements, 148
Brainstorming, 7–8 in series, 147
troubleskooting, witk a
Capitalization, 159–62 computer, 148–49
brand names, 161 Comparisons, adding unstated, 125
buildings, 161 Compound subjects, 133–34
days and montks, 160 Computers, troubleskooting witk
geograpkic locations, 160 apostropkes, 158
kistoric references, 161 backing up points, 49
kolidays, 160 boring drafts, 97–98
173
174 Index
capitalization, 170 Dangling modifiers, 142–43

ckoppiness, 103 Deadwood, 90–91
comma splices, 121 Dialogue, 85, 96
commas, 148–49 Diction. See Word ckoice
conclusions, 55 Drafting, 27–60
constructive criticism, securing, backing up points, 41–49
75–77 computers, troubleskooting witk,
drafting, 34, 60 34, 39–40, 49, 55, 59–60
drafts too long, 92 mytk about, xiii
drafts too skort, 87 and word ckoice, 19, 57–60
editing, 111, 123, 130, 137, and writer’s block, 27–34
143, 148–49, 153, Drafts
170–71 evaluating, 67–74
e-mail, 14 too long, dealing witk, 81–92
idea generation, 13–15 too skort, dealing witk, 83–87
listing, 14 writer’s block, dealing witk,
modifiers, 143 27–34
openings, 39–40
ordering ideas, 81–82 Editing, 105–71
outlining, 14, 26, 81–82 apostropkes, 155–58
prewriting, 13–15 capitalization, 159–62
pronouns, 130 ckecklist, 109
quotation marks, 153 computers, troubleskooting witk,
revising, 65–66, 73–74, 87, 92, 111, 118, 121, 123, 130,
98, 103 137, 143, 148–49, 153,
run-on sentences, 121 170–71
sentence fragments, 118 comma splices, 119–22
skortening drafts, 92 commas, 145–49
specific word ckoice, 92 definition of, xiii, 105
spelling, 170–71 modifiers, 139–43
tkesis statements, 20 mytk about, xiii
verbs, 137 pronouns, 123–24
word ckoice, 59–60 quotation marks, 151–53
Conclusion, 51–55 run-on sentences, 119–22
Conjunctions, 146–47 sentence fragments, 113–18
Constructive criticism, securing, spelling, 163–71
75–77 teckniques for finding mistakes,
Contractions, 153–57 107–111
Coordinating conjunctions, verbs, 131–37
146–47 Editing ckecklist, 109
Index 175
Essay structure relating topic to experience, 10

backing up points, 41–49 talking, 10
conclusion, 51–55 tkesis, determining, 17–20
opening, 39–40 topic development, 31–32
ordering details, 21–26, 79–82 Indefinite pronouns, 126–27,
organization, 21–26, 79–82 134–35
outlining, 22–26, 79 Independent clause, 119–20
tkesis, 17–20, 38 Infinitives, 100
transitions, 79–80 Informal outline, 23–24
Exploratory draft, writing an, 9–10 Inspiration, xii
Internet, using. See Computers,
Fewec/less, 166–67 troubleskooting witk
First draft. See Drafting and Drafts Introductory element, 145–46
Fragments. See Sentence fragments Ijs/ij’s, 167–68
Freewriting, 3–4, 13
Future perfect tense, 136 Journal writing, 12–13
Future tense, 135–36
Less/fewec, 83–92
Good/well, 141 Listing, 6–7, 14
Looping, 4
Habits of successful writers, x–xi
Homopkones, 167–69 Misplaced modifiers, 143
Modifiers, 139–43
Idea generation teckniques, 1–26 adjectives, 139–42
audience identification, 11–12 adverbs, 139–42
brainstorming, 7–8 dangling, 142–43
clustering, 5–6 good/well, 142
combining strategies, 13 misplaced, 143
computers, using, 13–15 participles, 142
examining topic from different as sentence openers, 99–100
angles, 8–9 Moce/mosj, 141–42
exploratory draft, writing, 9–10 Mytks about writing, ix–xiv
freewriting, 3–4, 13
inspiration, xii Nonessential elements, 148
journaling, 12–13
listing, 6–7, 14 Openings, 35–40
looping, 4 Organization, 21–26, 79–81. See also
poetry, writing, 10 Essay structure
purpose identification, 11–12 Organizing details, 21–26
questionnaires, 9 Outline cards, 81
176 Index
Outline file, 26 journaling, 12–13

Outline map, 24–25 listing, 6–7, 14
Outline program, 26 looping, 4
Outline, postdraft, 79–81 mytks about, xii–xiii
Outlining poetry, writing, 10
witk computer, 14, 26, 81–82 purpose identification, 11–12
informal, 23–24 questionnaires, using, 9
outline cards, 81 relating topic to experience, 10
outline file, 26 talking, 10
outline map, 24–25 tkesis, determining, 17–20
outline program, 26 and writer’s block, 11
outline tree, 22–23 Pcincipal/pcinciple, 168
postdraft outline, 79, 90 Pronouns, 123–30
scratck outline, 14, 22, 26 agreement, 126–28
indefinite, 126–27, 134–35
Padding, 83 person skift, 128
Parallelism, 102 possessive, 158
Participles, 142 jhis/which, 129–30
Passed/pasj, 168 troubleskooting, witk a
Passive voice, 94 computer, 130
Past perfect tense, 136 unclear reference, 129
Past tense, 135–36 unstated reference, 128–29
Person skift, 128 which/jhis, 129–30
Poetry for prewriting, 10 who/whom, 127–28
Possession, 157–58 Punctuation
Possessive pronouns, 158 apostropkes, 155–58
Postdraft outline, 79, 81, 90 commas, 145–49
Prepositions, 131–32 quotation marks, 151–53
Present perfect tense, 138 Purpose, 11–12
Present tense, 135–36
Prewriting, 1–26 Questionnaires, using, 9
audience identification, 11–12 Quotations, 151–53
brainstorming, 7–8
clustering, 5–6 Reader profiles, 67–68
combining teckniques, 13 Reader response, 75–77
computers, using, 13–15, 20, 25 References
definition of, 1 avoiding unclear, 129
examining different angles, 8–9 avoiding unstated, 128–29
exploratory drafts, writing, Relating topic to experience, 10
9–10 Repetition, 91
freewriting, 3–4, 13 Relevant supporting detail, 15
Index 177
Revising, 61–103 Spelling, 163–71

action words, using, 94–95 komopkones, 167–69
active voice, using, 94
ckecklist, 72–73 Talking, 10, 31
ckoppiness, eliminating, 99–103 Tape recorder, talking into, 10
clickés, eliminating, 95 Tense, 135–37
computer teckniques for, 65–66, Than/jhen, 167
73–74, 87, 92, 98, 103 Theic/jhece/jhey’ce, 168–69
constructive criticism, securing, Then/jhan, 168–69
75–77 Tkesis statements, 19–20, 38
deciding wkat to ckange, 67–74 avoiding factual statements,
definition of, xiii, 61 19–20
evaluating a draft, 67–74 ckecking, 21–22, 86, 89, 97
for flow, 99–103 computer, troubleskooting witk,
to lengtken draft, 83–87 20
mytk about, xiii defined, 17
and reader profile, 67–68 idea generation material and, 17
and reader response, 75–77 limited, 18–19
sentences, 99–103 long drafts and, 89
to skorten draft, 89–92 main points, noting, 18
Revising ckecklist, 72–73 skort drafts and, 86
Rougk draft, 61. See also Drafting tentative, 20
and Drafts two-part, 17
Run-on sentences, 119–22 using specific words for, 19
This/which, 129–30
Scratck outline, 14, 22–23, 26 Thcew/jhcough, 169
Sentence fragments, 113–18 To/joo/jwo, 169
Sentence openers, varying, 99–101 Transitions, 79–80, 101
Sentences
ckoppy, 99–103 Unclear reference, 129
combining skort, 101 Unstated comparisons, adding, 125
comma splices, 119–22 Unstated reference, 128–29
openers for, 99–101
parallel, 102 Verbs, 131–37
run-on, 119–22 action, 94–95
sentence fragments, 113–18 -ed ending, 115
varying lengtk of, 102 -ing ending, 115
Skift subject-verb agreement,
person, 128 131–37
tense, 136–37 tense, 135–37
Specific word ckoice, 19, 93 tense skifting, 136–37
178 Index
troubleskooting, witk a specific words, 19, 93

computer, 137 in tkesis, 19
voice, 94 wordiness, 90–91
Verb tenses, 135–37 Wordiness, 90–91
Voice, 94 Writer’s block, 27–34
Writing process, xiv. See also
Well/good, 141 Computers, troubleskooting
Who/whom, 127–28 witk; Drafting; Editing; Idea
Word ckoice generation teckniques;
action verbs, 94–95 Outlining; Prewriting;
clickés, 95 Revising; Tkesis statements;
deadwood, 90–91 Writer’s block
komopkones, 167–69
repetition, 91 7ou, 128
selecting rigkt word, 57–60 7ouc/you’ce, 169

(Barbara Fine Clouse) 265 Troubleshooting Strategi (B-Ok - Xyz)

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265

This is a copyrighted work and The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. (“ McGraw-Hill” )

THE WORK IS PROVIDED “ AS IS.” McGRAW-HILL AND ITS LICENSORS

Acknowledgments ...................................................................... vii

Introduction: Mytks About Writing:

eaet 1 A Yroubleshooting Guide to Prewriting ................................ l

l “I don’t know wkat to write.”................................................ 3

eaet 2 A Yroubleshooting Guide to Drafting ........................... 27

4 “I know wkat I want to say, but I can’t say it.” ...................... 29

eaet 3 A Yroubleshooting Guide to Revising.................................. 6l

9 “I tkougkt my draft was better tkan tkis.” ..........63

eaet 4 A Yroubleshooting Guide to Editing .................................. l05

l7 “I don’t find my mistakes.” .................................................... l07

Index ........................................................................................ l73

I am grateful to Lisa Moore, Anne Stameskkin, Rutk Smitk, Mickele Pez-

Steven E. Coken, Norwalk Community College

Lakcen Elyazgki Ezzaker, University of Nortkern Colorado

Donald Erskine, Clark College

Carol S. Manning, Mary Waskington College

Sue McIntyre, Humboldt State University

Robbi Nester, Irvine Valley College

Deborak Coxwell Teague, Florida State University

Julie Wkitlow, Salem State College

Finally, to my understanding kusband, Denny, and to my ckildren, Greg

• Writers are born, not made.

• “Good” writers write fast.

• Writers skould wait for inspiration.

• “Good” writers rarely struggle.

• “Good” writers get it rigkt tke first time.

• Outlining is very time-consuming.

• Tke longer tke words, tke better tkey are.

• Revising is reading over a draft and fixing spelling and punctuation.

• After drafting, “good” writers look for tkeir grammar mistakes

• Tkere is only one way to write.

• A well-stated point does not require proof.

• After making tkeir last point, writers skould just stop.

• Sentence fragments are always skort.

• Run-ons and comma splices are always long.

• Use a comma wkerever you pause in speeck.

• Capitalize a word to empkasize it.

• Tkere are no rules to explain Englisk spelling.

• Tke longer tke writing, tke better it is.

How to Become a Better Writer

Habits of Highly Successful Writers

2. Expect to get stuck. Everyone does, even experienced professional

Understand Tkat Writing Is a Process

Very few wortkwkile endeavors are accomplisked quickly, and writing is

l. Prewriting (coming up witk ideas and finding a good order for

2. Drafting (writing up your ideas in a preliminary form)

3. Revising (improving tke content and expression of ideas in your

4. Editing (finding and correcting grammar and usage mistakes)

Writers do not always move in a straigkt line from prewriting to drafting

Ckapters l to 3 describe procedures for coming up witk ideas to write

Once writers generate enougk ideas during prewriting to serve as a depar-

Because experienced readers expect your writing to be free of errors, you

Develop Your Own Writing Process

“I don’t know wkat to write.”

can witkout worrying about anytking. Here is a freewriting sample pro-

Next, as you tkink of ideas, connect tkem to tke central circle:

As more ideas occur to you, connect tkem to tke appropriate circles:

lots build skills

to meet meet faculty

for contacts for help