Pellegrino, 1

 
 
 
 
Applied Narrative Full Project 
By Lexie Pellegrino 
EN12 
 
● Interview 
● Creative Writing 
● Final Essay 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Lexie Pellegrino
Prof. Hosten
EN12
24 April 2018
Interview Transcript
Interviewee: Dr. Michael Andreychik
Associate Professor of Psychology
Dr. Andreychik is a social and personality psychologist interested in psychological
approaches to better understanding issues such as intergroup relations, moral thought and
emotion, and personal and social identity.

1. What role does literature have in your life?

Psychology is all about understanding the human condition, what makes someone human,
whether it be birth, death, love, sex, growth, anything. Psychology cares about the average
person who will do a study and collect a response. Fiction experiences real things, and it is an
interesting place to get a descriptive window on things psychologists are interested in.

2. What kind of literature do you most look at be it books, journals, data etc.
I mostly read journal articles that talk about findings and data from studies. Psychological
literature is all the findings and data we produce as a field. Personally, I like to read popular
nonfiction as well as some fiction, but it usually relates to psychology. Sometimes I end up
getting interesting ideas for studies from personal reads.

3. What are the most recent books you have read?

Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion ​by Paul Bloom
Superforecasting: The Art and Science of Prediction ​by Philip E. Tetlock and Dan Gardner
Enlightenment Now: The Case for Reason, Science, Humanism, and Progress​ by Steven Pinker
The Hobbit ​by J. R. R. Tolkien
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4. What kind of genre is most helpful to you vs most interesting to you?

Everything I read is sort of helpful. There is value in every genre that makes you think.
Everything can help you apply things differently. As I said before, reading popular nonfiction as
well as fiction helps me find ideas for my career. On the surface though I would say that data,
studies, and evidence are the most helpful.

5. How do you define literature as its own subject and how do you define literature within
psychology?
In my own field, as a social and personality psychologist who studies a lot about empathy, the
literature on empathy says literature is the body of knowledge about a particular subject.
Personally though, in a more traditional context I would say that well written stories such as
Tolstoy defines literature.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Lexie Pellegrino
EN12
Professor Hosten
30 April 2018
Applied Narrative Creative Writing
The Turning Point

He used to be fine. Normal. I don’t know where his turning point was, but it happened.

The real sad part is that I only knew him after the fact. In another lifetime he was kind,

intelligent, funny, and what do ya know, even chivalrous. Well, he’s still intelligent, and I guess

you could say he’s funny in a way, but he lost everything else. He’s mean now, a terror actually.

Manipulative, condescending, and a narcissistic liar. An alcoholic, or a fake one really, and a

danger to everyone around him.

Up and down. His mania felt lonely without his depressive states, his hand felt lonely without a

bottle, and his dick felt lonely without a girl to fuck. He wifed up some of them. He spoiled her

and her kids, took them on vacation after vacation, but couldn’t pay child support.

Bipolar. Untreated.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Untreated.

He is so gone that he doesn’t even think he has a problem. Yet today we see him living his life as

if he is normal. As if he never had kids before.

He was fat, but he called us fatter. He was emotional, but he called us sadder. He was lazy, but

he called us lazier. We were smart, but he was smarter. We were talented, but he was a prodigy.

We were worthless and he let us know every day.

I wasn’t around when he hit his turning point, but I was around for mine.
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Up and down. My sister and I drove across the state at least twice a week to see that son of a

bitch. Even with my mom having sole custody, we went to see that son of a bitch. Even with me

going to therapy because my parents preemptively knew they screwed me up, we went to see that

son of a bitch. Even when he moved us around seven different times, living in different houses,

apartments, condos, with different people because he couldn’t support himself, we went to see

that son of a bitch. Even with me being old enough to be seen as an adult in the eyes of the court,

we went to see that son of a bitch.

My turning point with him was when I was twelve. In seventh grade. My school bus dropped me

off at the end of the day at my old elementary school where my sister still went. After I picked

her up from school someone was supposed to drive us home. The walk wasn’t far, but it was a

cold, winter afternoon in the middle of March, and we desperately wanted to be in a warm car. I

called my dad. It was the worst decision I ever made.

Up and down. Once he picked us up he was angry. He drove through the neighborhoods at 60

miles per hour and I thought I was going to die. When we got into our driveway I thanked him

for the ride. It wasn’t his day to see us so I tried to dismiss him as nicely as I possibly could. But

our front door was open. No one was home, and it was left noticeably open. I knew we just

didn’t close it before we left, we did that sometimes. He insisted on coming into the house to

check to see if anyone was there. He wasn’t allowed to do that, come into my mother’s house.

My only home without him. I knew there wasn’t anyone, but I couldn’t say no to the large,

bellowing, thundering man who I was unfortunately related to.

We got into the house and I sent my sister to her room. She called our mom and she was on the
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way home, with “back up”. This happened so often that we had adult, male friends on speed dial

to get my father away from the house.

My dad and I were arguing in the kitchen. About what, I’m not sure, but it was loud. We were

separated by the island in the kitchen, with him across the way pounding his chest like godzilla

repeating, “C’mon, hit me!” At this point my sister was silently watching us from the hallway.

He went around the island and cornered me. He got up into my face as if we were sparring.

He had joined our karate lessons with us, the only defense we had against him, and he joined it to

make sure we didn’t learn things he didn’t know. Sports were supposed to be fun.

I don’t remember what happened after that, but I know I hit him first. He always hit me. He was

bigger than me, he was taller than me, and he was stronger than me. But I hit him first. Only I

know that and only he knows that. But my mom thinks he hit me first, and so does the judge, and

I kept it that way. Was that wrong? Maybe. But was it wrong after all of the times he touched me

first? After he pushed me, after he yelled at me, after he got drunk, after he favored other

children over us because we were too fat and I reminded him too much of my mother? “Two

peas in a pod,” he would say. No, it wasn’t wrong.

I took out my aggression in school, at home, with friends. I was diagnosed with everything. I was

depressed, I was bipolar, I had anxiety. I knocked down doors, I kicked granite tables, I bruised

my family, and I destroyed relationships with a single breath. I was angry, but I was already

being compared to the likes of him. I stayed in therapy. I was on my sixth therapist at this point

and she just nodded and didn’t do anything to help me. No one did anything to help me. Yet I

was my sister’s second parent. At the age of ten I could have been mistaken for someone in their
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thirties. But I took it out on people and she held it in. She held everything in until her wrists

turned red and her heart turned cold.

Up and down. My mom and I drove across state to visit my sister at the children’s psychiatric

hospital for a week. My sister claimed it didn’t help her, but it helped me. I know it helped her

too. I realized that in my rage I wasn’t taking care of her. I never saw her depression, I never

noticed her wrists, I never read the things she wrote in the journals she kept.

Here was my turning point.

I realized I was only controlled by myself, and no one else. That I had to take care of myself

before I took care of others. That I had more of an effect on people than I thought I did.

I became a straight A student. A leader of my class, a member of student council, the number

one violinist in the state, a member of the theatre program, an employee, and a sister.

It wasn’t until college that I found my answers. Until the tenth therapist that I decided to see

focused on my goals and not my past. I found out that I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder,

and it was the best news I had gotten in a long time. Instead of what had taken over my father’s

mind, I was diagnosed with trauma and PTSD, what my father’s bipolar mind had given to me.

Up and down. The symptoms of trauma were the same as having bipolar disorder. Every

therapist, psychologist, social worker, psychiatrist, overlooked the fact that I could be diagnosed

with a disorder because of the environment I was put in, and not because of my biology.

I am not my father.

 
 
 
 Pellegrino, 8

Lexie Pellegrino
EN12
Professor Hosten
30 April 2018
Applied Narrative Essay

Literature has many different meanings depending on a person’s age, field of study,

interests, schooling, and identity. I am a nineteen year old student, in her first year of college. I

am interested in music, psychology, and stories about redemption, romance, and health related

issues. I identifies as a white, italian/jew who is catholic, and lower-middle class women who

struggles with psychological and physical health problems. And I have my own definition of

literature. By society, literature is most defined as scholarly works, creative writing using big,

old fashioned language, as well as anything a school assigns a student to read within a two week

time span. While I agree with all of this, I believe literature is any piece of writing that can have

a lasting impact and be respected, and can relate to the reader. If I find the right book for me, I

call it literature. Literature feeds our souls.

With a strong belief in literature, I find that it is very important to study it. Literature

reflects human beliefs, ideas, and societal values. When we read literature, we also discover

significant differences. This allows us to explore another’s message, even those separated from

us by time and social barriers. We often learn how different others are in their approaches to life

as well as encountering the diverse beliefs of humankind. Literature such as ​The Bible​, formed

an entire religion and way of life while also providing moral teachings. ​Common Sense​ by

Thomas Paine sparked a revolution in how we understand governing bodies. ​Mein Kampf​ by

Adolf Hitler gave historical and philosophical reasons as to why Germany is a superior nation,
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and why people should follow in his beliefs and teachings. Referencing these examples you can

see that literature does not always have to have a positive message and shows us the many

different beliefs and ideas of famous historical figures in their time period. What they all have in

common though, is that each piece of writing sparked change, and influenced people to think as

the author wanted them to, even if just for a second.

Studying literature also gives us the opportunity to indulge in and appreciate another’s

calling in life. Literature is also full of human responses and reactions. As we read, we can gain a

greater knowledge of the human psyche, as well as insight into our own thoughts and beliefs.

According to Karl Marx, our capacities to create is what makes us human (Estranged Labor).

Literature, in this sense, is what makes us human. It is also what describes our humanity within

different fields of study. There is no limit to what a person can write.

Within my applied narrative project, I looked at literature in the context of psychology. In

psychology, the main form of literature is found within data, studies, and scholarly pieces that

are usually focussed around statistics and observations. What I found interesting when I was

interviewing my psychology professor was that he addressed that fact that he gets inspiration for

his studies from more traditional literature such as Tolstoy, Shakespeare, and Plato. As an

example, the way one could conduct a study using Socrates’ lessons that Plato transcribed is by

first addressing that ​The Allegory of the Cave​ addresses people’s ignorance about ignorance.

According to Socrates, people don’t know what they don’t know. To test this, one could conduct

a study on how people react to different forms of information foreign to them. If they say they

don’t know, they are wise, because they are addressing that they don’t know what they don’t
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know. If they try to give an explanation, they are ignorant, because they are trying to say they

know what they don’t know.

During the semester, we as a class have looked at many forms of different literature, and

debated whether it represents the true meaning of literature. We debated works in our class such

as ​A Still I Rise​ by Maya Angelou, ​Fun Home​ by Alison Bechdel​, ​and ​Modern Man​ by George

Carlin,. At their surface, these works didn’t seem like literature, but in their own way they all are.

Each piece of writing, whether it be a poem, a short story, or a graphic novel, leaves a lasting

impact on the reader, and makes the reader think about the author’s point of view. Since there is

no concrete definition of what literature is, it becomes up to the reader to decide.

In addition to reading different literary works for class, my book group and I have been

reading ​How Literature Saved My Life​ by David Shields. In this book we learned that Shields

loves literature and that he does not take it lightly. He makes it clear that he is only interested in

literature that obliterates the boundaries between life and art. In the last pages of his book he

proclaims, “I find books that simply allow us to escape existence a staggering waste of time

(literature matters so much to me I can hardly stand it)” (Shields). As I read this, do I agree with

what Shields has to say about literature? Not completely, but I admire his passion for what he

describes as literature. I personally am not sure if I would categorize this book as literary. He

definitely references a lot of other authors and explains why he likes them, but I felt he lacked in

establishing his own ideas. I spent more time trying to figure out what he was trying to say,

instead of contemplating his ideas. Reading this book in a group definitely made the process

easier. The group discussions we had about the book were insightful, and we were able to
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understand the book better and attempt to connect it to our lives. Maybe, in the eye’s of Shields,

his book can be categorized as literature, because it is the kind of literature that he likes to read.

I realize that my ideas of what literature is can differ from the next person, but I am

deeply rooted in my beliefs. I personally tend to become emotionally involved in things I find

that are important. I believe I do this because I am a musician, and this is my basis to what

constitutes literature. If I am deeply moved by a piece, I believe it is a form of literature. This

may make my definition of literature broad, but meaningful. I do also believe scholarly works

are literature because the creator took so much time to make the document perfect, but I don’t

necessarily connect with it. My beliefs come from what I love, what I am passionate about, and if

there is an idea, new belief, or moral that comes out of a book I love, then I constitute it as

literature. I personally study literature because I want to become a more well rounded person,

and I want to experience author’s ideas, points of view, and experiences. I learn through the

feelings and thoughts of characters and empathize with their struggles, character flaws and

obstacles. Throughout this course I have realized the importance of literature, the different

meanings of literature, and the structure of stories and poetry, and no matter what career path I

end up going down, I will always find the importance in literature.