Sexual Abuse
The image to the left reads a quote
The Story of a Survivor
For as long as the earth has
been spinning and our world has
welcomed humans, sexual violence and
abuse has been an ongoing occurrence.
From behind closed doors, with a
“trusted” adult or friend, to even
walking down the street and being
shouted at with sexual slurs- this
heartbreaking issue is happening all
around us. As you sit in a classroom or
walk through the grocery store or enjoy
your subway ride to work, you should
acknowledge that almost 20% of all the
women you see have been a victim of
sexual violence. This is absolutely
devastating, tragic, and unacceptable.
Throughout my life I have watched
these stories on the news, read
scenarios in magazines, listened to
people’s unfortunate circumstances in
speeches; however, I never knew that a
surviving victim of sexual abuse was
actually in my family. The closeness
made this story the most unforgettable,
heartbreaking, and angering case I had
come to know. Slipped words from an
apologetic family member had sprung
this news upon me. Even though he
begged me not to mention anything,
this knowledge was far too much
weight on the shoulders of a fragile
12 year old. I confronted the victim.
This was when one of the strongest,
bravest, and most amazing woman I
had ever known had described to me
when her entire life changed in an
instance and how her innocent
childhood quickly came to an end.
This is my mother’s story. June 9th,
1976 was the day our world was truly
gifted with a walking angel. Even as a
baby girl, her big brown eyes and
cratering dimple on the right side could
make even the sulkiest individual grin.
Ariana started out with a fairly average
childhood. Pushing her little siblings on
the swings, making “mud pies” for
dinner, slurping a pink lemonade on her
wooden front porch. She was living the
ideal life as a young child; that is until
her childhood came crumbling down
when she was only 10 years old. The
average 10 year old girl would typically
be worrying about what outfits to dress
up her dolls in or even wiggling her last
loose tooth and placing it under her
pillow in hopes to find a dollar bill in
exchange. Instead, my mother’s world
was turned upside down by the very
person whom should be protecting her
at all costs- her stepfather. Being such a
young child, Ariana had no way to
protect herself. The abuse went on for
the next two years of her life; the
incidents happening obliviously to all
those around her, including her mother
and siblings. Her environment was
constantly unstable and she always felt
as though her life was built upon
quicksand. Whether the abuse would
occur, her parents would have a violent
fight due to their marriage troubles, or
her stepfather expressed his anger and
bipolar tendencies when he had drinken
a substantial amount,
Ariana never felt safe. At the age of 12,
her mother picked her up from school,
confessed she had just learned what had
been happening to Ari, and took her
straight to the police department to file
the report. My mother expressed to me
how numb she had felt- but overall,
ashamed. She knew that the entire
family found out what happened and
she didn’t know what they would think
about her. Due to my mom’s oversized
heart and kind nature, she forgave her
offender after he served his time in
prison for the terrible things he had
done. Throughout everything: the
terror, threats, abuse, and permanent
trauma, my mother pardoned his
appalling actions. Many people asked
her, “How can you just forgive your
offender?” She describes that she truly
had to do it for herself. She couldn’t
bear to hold on to all the anger and
hatred- she is too kind of a person.
written by the beautiful Angelina Jolie.
It means that no survivor should ever
feel embarrassed for what happened to
them. They should embrace the support
and love from caring others. Women
need to know that it wasn’t their fault.
The image to the left shows a statistic
about sexual abuse victims and their
offenders. 90% of child abuse
survivor’s know their abuser. This
could mean a parent, family member,
family friend, etc. The survivor in my
story also falls into the 90%.
The image to the left shows 45 year old Tarana Burke-the woman who began
the “MeToo” Movement. The Me Too campaign was born in 1997 when Burke
sat across from and heard the story of a 13-year-old girl who had been sexually
abused. This movement is defined as a platform for survivors of sexual violence
and assault to come together and express their thoughts, voices, and feelings
about their similar circumstances.
Strong. That is the first word that comes As for today, my mother describes that
perfectionism, a personality that is
to mind when I think about her. the memories still remain; however,
highly passive and often walked all
Although it would have been entirely they do not rise up too much emotion in
over, as well as countless other post
understandable if she had fallen apart, her anymore. Ariana does admit that
entailments. Even with all these
turned to addiction/substance abuse, hid when I - her only daughter - turned 10
qualities originating from the abuse, she
in the shadows, or veered away from years old, she did have a bit of a relapse
has fulfilled her greatest potential as
any conversation involving this topic, just because of the age connection to
well as create an amazing life for
she didn’t. Even though Ariana had when she was a child and the abuse
herself. My mother graduated from high
such terrible things happen to her for started, but she remained strong and got
school with a 3.8 GPA, worked her way
two entire years of her precious through it. When asked about her
up and became a manager of two outlet
childhood life and by someone who she thoughts on the “Me Too” Movement,
stores by the age of 24, earned a
thought she could absolutely trust, she my mom says that she is beyond
Master’s degree from The University of
remains one of the most courageous, grateful and proud that women are not
Utah, bought a beautiful house by
beautiful, caring, and resilient people tolerating this devastation anymore.
herself, currently obtains a solid and
this world has come to know. Many The environment is shifting and eager
long term job, and remains an amazing
people believe that after the sexual for change. In some ways, writing this
mother. My mom states, “Being a mom
abuse has stopped, so has the damage. profile about my mother was difficult,
has been the most important job to me.
In my mom’s case she knows very well yet it made me realize even more so
I strived to raise my kids safe and
that those thoughts are not true. Due to how much I love her, how proud I am,
provide them with many opportunities.
the childhood abuse, Ariana has been and truly how strong of a person she
Being a child I couldn’t protect myself,
exposed to PTSD, ongoing anxiety, a was and is. I hope that one day I can be
so, the greatest gift that could happen is
sense of distrustfulness, issues with the at least half of the mother and person
that my daughter has the tools to protect
male body, hypersensitivity, she is. Ariana is an inspiration to all
herself”.
those around her.