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oaiaxy.

MAGAZINE
APRIL 1960
50 ^

CONDITION OF
EMPLOYMENT
GALAXY by

CLIFFORD
D. SIMAK
THE
TROUBLEMAKERS
by

GEORGE

tHi^Iady who
SAILED THE SOUL

by

- CORDWAiNER
SMITH
WHAT’S
ONLY MONEY?
by

WILLY JiY

APRIL

1960
APRIL, 1960 VOL. 18, NO. 4

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NOVELETS
SUCCESS STORY
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by Margaret St. Clair
33
44
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IF Science Fiction • 421 Hudson Street • New York 14. New York ROBERT M. GUINN, Publisher H. GOLD,
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the first time that millions from the The science fiction of 1939 did

THE WORLD OF TOMORROW world of that day could take a good


look at what the future promised
more than
so many
dare. It saw how soon
of these “unimaginably

Deliberate symbolism? No — the


in the way of plenty, leisure and distant” marvels would happen.
N New York City twenty years joy. It dared look at the war that was
I ago, a world emerging from the fair would pay for the elimination
There were girlie shows on the to come, and beyond the war to the
Depression took time out for fun, of the dump.
Midway, barkers huckstering as kinds of “peace” that were all too
and glimpse of the future.
for a Fleets of earthmovers and an
they have done since antiquity, and likely — for the one that did come
The bad days lay behind and war army of men with the ruthless
perhaps as they will do in perpetu- about was not a whit more likely
lay ahead, but fun there was, and weapons peace leveled the gar-
of
ity, crude and garish souvenirs. than the others — and beyond that,
the glimpse of the future was as bage cliffs, rooted out the vermin,
They didn’t matter. The World’s and further still, into every aspect
true as the war that was to come. and covered all with clean earth
Fair of 1939 was none of those of the future that was at all dis-
Way out at the end of the sub- through which no smell of decay
things. cernible, however faintly, a genera-
way tracks in the borough of or tongue of flame could ever
It was the bright, wonderful tion ago.
Queens was a place called “The escape.
World of Tomorrow, and all the
The Astoria Dump was no more, The marvels of the World of
Astoria Dump.” It was the pit for
braver and more wonderful for Tomorrow of 1964 are in these
allthe trash of a giant metropolis. but it had to be built upon if it
having been erected on the horror pages today, along with the actual
The Astoria Dump was perma- was not to be merely a buried pest
that had been Astoria Dump, and world of 1964, whatever it may
nently on fire. The Fire Depart- hole.
if people came to see the bare look like, for no one kind of world
ment kept hoses going day and Landscapers moved in, and pav-
babes, they stayed to see the shin- of 1964 is a certainty when science
night, not to put out the fire — and carpenters, light engineers,
ers,
ing future.
there was no hope of that — but hydraulicsmen — an army as huge packs the progress of centuries into
For the future was there indeed, a single generation, and steepens
to keep it from spreading. A sludgy and as busy as the one that had
beyond the rot of dictatorship that
creek ambled, in complete discour- interred Astoria Dump — ai;d they the curve ever and ever more
Meadows” had to blasted out, the human sharply, so that one week’s impos-
agement, between cliffs of garbage turned it into “Flushing
Tomorrow vermin to be destroyed, the fire of sibility is next week’s fact, or one
as high as houses. The inhabitants and made the World of
war extinguished. week’s inevitability next week’s
of the Astoria Dump were gigantic rise there.
Beautiful?
The World of Tomorrow is to couldn’t-have-happened.
flies and rats.
— return to New York City in 1964 The process that science
Here was the site for the New Yes, very beautiful the high fiction
to the same site — Flushing Mead-
York World’s Fair of 1939 -
usesis one familiar to businessmen
spire of the Trylon and the great
ball of the Perisphere, the sodium-
ows, nee Astoria Dump. and government statisticians — ex-
whose theme was “The World of
vapor lamps along the avenues,
No need now to bury a night- trapolation, carrying forward known
Tomorrow.” Would it be possible
mare in order to construct a dream. data or theory to future probability.
to move the mountains of rotting the leaping illuminated fountains
Meadows — real meadows, green The process is more than valid; it’s
garbage, dispossess the fierce things in the Lagoon of Nations, the Fu-
turama and Vodor, the General
to the eye, sweet to the nose — are absolutely essential. But carry
that fed on it, clear away the
there to hold marvels that the known data forward without ex-
stench— and finally, when it never Electric building with its man-
World of Tomorrow of 1939 ploring possible factors and the re-
could be done before, put out the made lightning flying around, cap-
sult can’t help being funny — or the
a wire-screen cage —
thought unimaginably distant, too
permanent fire — so that “The tive, inside
far away to dare to speculate upon,
was the World of Tomor- very deadliest tragedy. Here are
World of Tomorrow” could be built truly it
but that are realities a scant quar-
row, just as advertised, and it was some examples of the funny and
here?
ter of a century later. terribly unfunny.
4 GALAXY
5
the Louisiana Purchase Line could be made entirely useless
When
by one smash at one point, or that
• fill I i the best of Galaxy novelets
was made at the beginning of the
19th century, the territory of the a country like Russia would pay Just published!
U.S.A. was doubled. Not till 2400 the exorbitant price to overcome
A.D., it was estimated, could the
new lands be tamed and settled.
True enough — with only animal-
Finland’s strategically far better
Mannerheim Line, or that Singa-
auned seaward,
pore’s defenses, all
THE WORLD THAT
drawn transportation. But along
came the locomotive to hoot at the
could be negated by a land attack
from the rear, jungle or no jimgle.
How could he have known? By
COULDN’T BE
“safe” estimate.
In a Connecticut Yankee in following the published military
AND 8 OTHER NOVELETS FROM
King Arthur’s Court, Mark Twain
notes units of currency are so small
thinking on both Allied and Axis
sides. In exploring all possibilities,

the boldest military thinking comes


GALAXY
that buckshot has real purchasing
power, and astonishes the natives close to science fiction. In both,
Edited by H. L. Gold
with the fact that a man in the “impossible” and “inevitable” are
One look at the contents tells you
19th century can earn as much as meaningless words, just as they are that this is a ‘must have’ book for

to basic research — because they your permanent SF library —


five or ten dollars a week. Present Richard Matheson’s One for the
are the most costly, impractical and
wages would have astonished him Books; Damon Knight’s An Eye for
just as much, though he himself was escapist ones in the language. What?; Mark Clifton’s A Woman’s
Place; Alan E. Nourse’s Brightside
using the unending trend away It took clear vision to see past
Crossing; F. L. Wallace’s Mezzerow
from small units of currency. the horror of Astoria Dump to the Loves Company; Evelyn E. Smith’s
The patent office belief at the World of Tomorrow in 1939. It Once a Greech; L. Sprague de
Camp’s A Gun for Dinosaur; Edgar
end of the 19th century that every- takes clearer vision still to see past Pangborn’s The Music Man of GALAXY PUBLISHING CORP.
thing had been discovered, and it the horror of two hostile hemi- Babylon; and — of course — Clifford 421 Hudson Street, New York 14, N.Y.
spheres to the World of Tomorrow D. Simak’s The World that
was only a matter of filling in the Couldn’t Be. $3.95 Please send me copies of

decimal points, is common knowl- of 1964. THE WORLD THAT COULDN'T BE


how the And beyond that? AND 8 OTHER NOVELETS FROM
edge. What still stuns is
GALAXY, hot off the press, I enclose
belief could have been held when There are all sorts of worlds and Check Cash Money order in
all sorts of tomorrows, and only the
major breakthroughs were being the amount of $
readied in the labs right at that extrapolative skill and daring of
science fiction can see their fore- NAME
moment. eadets wn'
Before World War II, Capt. shadowings. There is threat in the rst
250 Galaxy riU receive
tViis ad
fact that the Russians know this through COULOW
ADDRESS
B. H. Liddell-Hart was the leading
lAT
THE WOREB
1

better than the Free World does — t


I

Allied military theoretician. Mod-


,y
,itle story-
'

«'>

ern defense, he said, had become so


nothing could be more escapist author of CITY STATE
t coupon now
powerful that the cost of over- than thinking they’ve assigned it a Note: this coupon is for your conven-
escapist ience only; if you prefer to keep your
crash-priority rating for
whelming it would be unbearably masazine intact, please send in your
order on a sheet of paper.
What he neglected to reading.
prohibitive.
speculate on was that a Maginot
— H. L. GOLD
GALAXY
6
By EARL GOODALE Terra resounded to the triple toast of the

Haldorian hordes: For Haldor! For Glory!

And for Heaven's sake, let us out of here!

NCE my name was Ameet come group? No, — — and turn him into a

O
definitely “low- call it what you will; he’s the someone
Ruxt, my skin was light ranking,” because, in a warrior so- one who doesn’t acquire even one Fighter Basic in a third of a year.
blue, and I was a moder- ciety, even one with as high a tech- wife for years and he hasn’t a cour- “Look,” I’d complained to the
ately low-ranking member of the nological level as a statistician sits tesy title. He’s the man they draft burly two-striper in the Receiving
Haldorian Empire. Or should I say low on the totem pole. He is into their Invasion Forces — the Center, “I’m a trained statistician
I was a member of the lower in- handed the wrong end of the stick Haldorians are always invading with a degree and . .
.”

8 GALAXY SUCCESS STORY 9


“Say Sir, when you address me.” “See,” he said, “that’s your first fatherly stare, flexing his powerful fact that you’ve got to see me shows
I started over again. “I know, Sir, lesson in the Service, Ruxt. Figures arm muscles so that his three tat- you have enough of a fighting apti-
that they use statisticians in the don’t meana thing, because they tooed stripes rippled and danced. tude. Your Trontar didn’t encour-
service. So if Haldor needs me in can always be changed. That’s “Yeah,” he went on, “two kinds of age you to request evaluation, did
the service it’s only sensible that something a figure pusher like you men Fighting men and dead men!”
: he? And he isn’t going to like you
I should work in statistics.” has to learn. So—” he shoved out The Trontar grinned that fighting very much when you report back
The Hweetoral looked bored, that ponderous hand and crushed Haldorian grin you see all your to your platoon, is he?”
but I’ve found out since that all mine before I could protect myself lives on the Prop Sheets. “And I’ll I shuddered.“Not exactly.”
two-stripers looked bored; it’s be- —“good luck, Ruxt. I know you’ll tell you something, men. When you “Call me Sir.”
cause so many of them have at- get through that course — alive, I leave here — all Fighters Basic — “No, Sir. But I was desperate.
tained, at that rank, their life’s am- mean.” He chuckled heartily. “And I’m going to envy you. Yeah, I’ll Sir. I don’t think I can stand . .
.”

But we just got


bition. “Sure, sure. I know men!” really envy you gutsy killers when
a directive down on all you paper-
pushers. Every one of you-from now XTE was right. I got through alive.
you go out in that big Out-There
and grab yourselves a new chunk ^
66T^RAFTEE, you know
some unfortunate
that
men
on out is headed for Fighter Basic But then, 76.5 per cent of of sky.” He paused and studied our break down in training and that
Course. You know, envy- you,
I draftees do get through the Basic faces.“Now we’re gonna run, and we have to take them out. Maybe
Ruxt. Haldor, what I wouldn’t give Fighter Course, alive. But for me I do mean run, two full decades. you’ve already lost some that way.
to be out there with real men again! it took a drastic rearrangement of The last four men in get to do it Suppose you were brought in here,
Jetting down on some new planet philosophy. over again, and pull kitchen duty gibbering, yowling, and drooling —
— rasdng down the mongrels till Me, all I’d ever wanted was a tonight too.” I guess we’d have to cure you and
they yelled for mercy — and grab- good life. An adequate income, art I tried, as others have tried, to send you back home as non-fight-
bing a new chunk of sky for the and music, congenial friends, an un- slip quietly out of Basic Fighter. I er material, eh?”
Empire. Haldor! That’s the life!” derstanding wife — just one wife tried being sick, but following sick Someone up here liked me! Here
He glanced modestly down at his was all I’d ever hoped for. As you report one found oneself doing a was a tip on how to escape back
medalled chest. can see, I was an untypical Haldor- full day’s training — after the un- to the old quiet life. I nodded agree-
“Yes, Sir,” I said, “it sure is. But ian on every point. derstanding medics had shoved ably.
look at my examination records After my first day in Basic some pep pills into you. I de- “But you know, don’t you,” he
you have right there. Physically Fighter Course I just wanted to manded a physcial examination. said softly, “that first we run a
I’m only a 3 and you have to have stay alive. — They weren’t going to push me thorough test on our drooling
a 5 to go to Basic Fighter. And “There’s two kinds of men we around. draftee? Say it’s you .” . .

besides,” I threw in the clincher, turn out here,” our Haldor told us After a couple of days in solitary, I nodded again.
though I was a bit ashamed of it, as we lined up awkwardly for the I asked in a nice way for physical ‘We most always detect fakers.
“my fighting aptitude only meas- firsttime (that scene so loved by evaluation. And you know there’s a death pen-
ures a 2!” vision-makers). We
new draftees Well, I asked. I wasn’t very alty for any Haldorian attempting
The Hweetoral sneered unsubt- called our Trontar ourHaldor be- smart in those days. to escape his duty.” He smiled sad-
ly and grabbed a scriber with heavy cause he actually had the power They weren’t interested in my ly, and reminiscently.
fingers. A couple of slashes, a over our bodies that the chaplains story of how my records had been I nodded. Maybe someone up
couple of new entries, and lo, I was assured us the Heavenly Haldor falsified or in my fighting aptitude. here didn’t like me.
now a 5 in both departments. I was had over our liberated spirits. Our “Look, draftee,” the psycho-man “So we’d shoot you dead with
qualified in every respect.' Trontar looked us over with his said after I finally got to him, “the one of those primitive projectile
10 GALAXY SUCCESS STORY 11
weapons, as an object lesson for there, safe and sound, would any “The Trontar censors all our “Who says you can put in for
mail,” said the other. “Didn’t you Statistical Services?” the Company
both you and thp draftees we had of you not stay there until I gave
remaining.” the word to come out?” you know? Oh, well, neither did Clerk demanded.
we.” “Reg 39-47A.” I was learning my
I nodded and tried to show by A perceptible shudder passed
my countenance how much I ap- like a wave over the platoon. We As they marched off, I' made a way around. The night before I was
small bonfire out of my letter after on orderly duty in the office. I had
proved of people being shot dead knew the Trontar did not ask
almost, just throwing it away
first, tracked down the chapter and
with primitive weapwns. pointless questions.
“But suppose,” he went on, “that “Of course you wouldn’t,” he as- — before I remembered that the verse which, theoretically, allowed
Hweetorals checked our waste a man to change his destiny.
you’d really cracked up or that sured us, “and you’d even stay in
you’d faked successfully?” there all day under this hot sun if
cans. What a man has to do to hold “Know the Regs, do you? Start-
“Yes, Sir?” Hope returned, hesi- you had to. Ruxt! You’re rested two measly stripes! ing to be a trouble-maker, huh?

ready to and refreshed from visiting the hos- Acceptance of the inevitable is Yeah, Ruxt, I’ll put in your appli-
tantly and on tip-toes,
pital. You demonstrate how it’s
the beginning of wisdom, says the cation.”
flee.
ancient Haldorian sage. I put in I turned away with some feeling
“Then we’d cure you,” he said. done.”
“But the cure imfortunately in- It was a long day, even though an application for transfer to the of relief. This might possibly work.
my Statistical Services to be effective The Company Clerk called me
volves the destruction of your Trontar kindly sent some
higher mental faculties. And so sandwiches over to me at high upon completion of Basic Fighter back. “You know the Regs so good,
noon. I didn’t eat much. But I did
Course. Ruxt,” he said. “How come you
there’d be nothing for it but to ship
you off to one of the mining planets. do a lot of thinking.
“Statistical Services?” the Com- didn’t ask me for permission to

That’s standard procedure, if you


pany Clerk asked. “What’s that? leave? I’m cadre, you know.” He
didn’t know. But I think you’ll be ^
''
HERE was one last hope. I Anyhow, you’re going to be a Fight- leaned back in his chair and
I
wrote a letter to a remote clan er Basic, if you get through this grinned at me. “Just to help you
all right now, don’t you?”
who was supposed to have training,” he said darkly. The Com- remember the correct Haldorian
Hope fled. Iassured him that I’d relative
be just fine and reported back, on a small amount of influence. pany Clerk was a sad victim of our deportment I’m putting you on
the double, to my training platoon. was a moving letter. I told
It Haldorian passion for realistic kitchen duty for the next three
“Just in time, Ruxt,” my Trontar how my test results had been fal- training; he had lacked one day of nights. That way,” he grinned

greeted me. “Back for full duty, I sified, what beasts our trainers completing Fighter Basic when again, “you can divide up your five

take it? That’s the Haldorian were, how the medics refused to he’d let his leg dangle a bit too long hours of sleep over three nights in-
spirit!” He turned to the platoon retest me — very much the stand- after he’d scaled a wall, and the stead of crowding them all into
which was lined up like three rows ard letter that new Haldorian train- training gentlemen had unemo- one.”
ees write. As I went out to mail tionally shot it off. As it turned out, Poor deluded Company Clerk! I
of sweaty statues. “Men, remember
what I told you about taking cover this plea, one evening, I met two our efficient surgeon/ replacers had actually averaged three hours of
when you’re under fire — and stay- of my fellow trainees starting out been unable, for some technical sleep every one of those three
ing under cover? Just suppose we on a night march in full field equip- reason, to grow back enough leg for nights — after I found out that the
full duty. So there was nothing for
suddenly came under fire — flat ment. mess Trontar would accept my
it but to use the man as could be
trajectory stuff — out here on this “How come?” I asked, instantly smoking ration.
flat exercise ground with no cover fearful that I’d missed some no- best done. They’d made him a clerk I felt that I was beginning to un-

except in that latrine pit over there. tice on the bulletin board. — mainly because that was the spe- derstand the system, a little and
Would any of you hesitate to dive “We wrote letters,” one of them cialty they were shortest of at the at long last, particularly after I saw
into that latrine pit? And once in said simply. time. my co-workers in the kitchen do-

12 GALAXY SUCCESS STORY 13


doing what should have been my ending with the slithers — the name
“Here, Sir!” cided that another solar system
work. servicemen give to those Zeta Rays
“Your application for transfer to would make a better offensive set-
that diverge from line of sight to
Statistical Services has been dis- up for Haldoria. The planners, I
II drop in on a dug-in enemy. THie
approved.” The two-striper’s ex- xmderstand, have all sorts of eso-
usual explanation is that Haldori-
pression showed what he, as a fight- about the ideal shape
teric theories
ans are still invading places where
T hen we
ing,
started combat train-
and then we started los- the natives still use such things as
bows and arrows. But I think, my-
ing man, thought of the Statistical
Services. “But we’ve got a real as-
and an offensive unit. They
size of
ring in timeand something related
ing our normal 23.5 per cent. to time which makes Galaxy dis-
self, that it’s something the Mil
signment for you, Ruxt! The 27th
It wasn’t too bad as long as they tances differ according to which
Prop guys figured out. The idea is, Invasion Force is all set to drop on
stuck to the primitive stuff. I mean, direction you are travelling. As I
as I see it, to run you right through a new system. You’re lucky, Ruxt,
you can see arrows and spears com- that you put in that application. say, esoteric.
ing at you, and even if you have the whole course of our fighting, in-
vading Haldorian history, and in We had to hold you till it bounced. The only thing that mattered
had only the five hours of sleep you Your buddies got shipped to those to me was that some technicians
can either duck the projectiles or that way to make a better fighter
rear-echelon guard outfits, but had fed some data into a computer
catch them on your shield. And out of you. And you do get rid of
you’re going to a real fighting one. and it had hiccupped and said;
with the medics on the alert, the the death-prones before there’s
It should be a good invasion — this “You’ll need such-and-such a planet
wounds are painful but seldom much time or work invested in to control such-and-such a solar
them — or before their inevitable
new system’s got atomic fission, I
fatal. You just end up with a week’s system, and that will give you a
hear. And I’d like to tell you some-
hospitalization and slip back to the
early death means the failure of a
Ruxt .” better offensive set-up.” Then the
next training group. But when they
mission. Haldoria — most practical thing, . .

computer hiccuped again and said;


of Empires!
“I know what. Sir,” I said. “You
go up to the explosively-propelled envy me.” “You’ll need to draft and train
solids, when the Trontar .smirks
But they didn’t make a fighter of Ameet Ruxt to help on this little
me. All they did was to reinforce taking over this planet
and says: “Men, this is called a he job of
boomer, or a banger, or maybe
sometimes a firestick, depending on
my natural survival instinct con-
siderably, acquaint me with the
T 27th was a real fighting
unit all right: they had their
called Terra, or Earth.”
That’s what amounted to, any-
tortuous ways of the service, and own neckerchief, their own war cry, it

what planet you’re fighting on,” how. Consequently I joined the


give me a great urge for a peaceful and a general who was on his way
and when he holds up a contraption up. Now they had me.
27th Invasion Force.
of wood and metal with a hole at
existence. But to all appearances,
And they Were going to get an- “So you’ve got an application in
as I stood in the orderly room after
one end and a handle on the other other system for thei Haldorian for transfer to the Statistical Ser-
— graduation, I was the ideal poster-
then. Draftee, look out! Empire. vices,huh?” Trontar Hytd, my
picture of a Haldorian, completely
It takestime to learn. It isn’t You see, those intelligent worms, new platoon three-striper, asked
associate a bang in the dis-
uniformed with polished power when I reported in for duty with
till you
boots and rayer, a crawler to the
or maybe they are slugs — I’m a
tance with a perforated man beside bit vague on universe geography — the 27th.
higher-ups and a stomper on the
you that you do learn. And when over on the next Galaxy but one, “Yes, Sir.” I’d learned, along the
lower-downs, a Fighter Basic with
you finally come under fire from give us Haldorians all sorts of diffi- line, that one should never give
no compassion but with a certified
our regular production weapons culties. They insist on freedom, up when applying for a transfer-
— well! aptitude for advancement to at
like rays self-determination, and all that just keep one in the mill.
least the rank of Trontar.
You might wonder why they rxm sort of thing. That’s all very well, “Huh, Borr, new guy likes
this
us through the entire history of “Fighter Basic Ruxt,” the Dis-
but they insist on them for them- to work with figures,” Trontar
weapons starting with the sling and positions Hweetoral announced.
selves. Our high-level planners de- Hytd growled at Hweetoral Borr,
GALAXY
14 SUCCESS STORY 15
from that particular germ. All the With thefighting over — the
my new squad leader. “Thinks he ^~kNCE in a while, these days,
individual has to do is to live from real fighting, Imean — the ever-
doesn’t want to be a Fighter.” I remember those sadistic
one injection to the next (any civi- efficientHaldorians started mov-
Trontar Hytd looked at me ques- and battle-hardened comrades of
lized enemy always dreams up ing their troops off Earth to get
tioningly. mine. Hard, gutsy Trontar Hytd
new diseases), move from one ready for a new and bigger inva-
I didn’t say anything. I’d stayed on his feet to direct his
enemy strong point to the next, sion that the computers had de-
learned a lot in Basic Fighter platoon underground after our
and dream of the day when he can creed. Only a few troops were to
Course. Kansas force collapsed, and one
return to his old life. For me it was be left behind for occupation and
“Figures?” asked Hweetoral weapons sepa-
of those little fission
a dream of returning to that quiet guard stuff.
Borr. I could see a train of thought rated his body parts too widely for
tiny room with its walls lined with I had a talk with a fat Assign-
had been started in the Hwee- even our unsentimentally compe-
the best of Haldorian art — just ments Trontar in his plush office.
mind. tent surgeon/replacer to reassem-
cheap reproductions, of course —
toral’s
ble him. Well, they had a go at the “You know, Trontar,” I said, “I
“Yeah, figures,” snapped Tron- and never again to handle a rayer
job,but they had to ray down what was hoping to see more of this
ter Hytd. “He likes to count or to wear armor. Real life, mean- world here, and the rumor is that
things, Borr. Get it?” they created — some primitive re-
while, went on. all of us excess combat t5T3es are
“Guess we need
gressionhad set in and the crea-
all our ray “Fighter First-Class Ruxt! Take being shipped to a training world
charges counted, for one thing,”
turewas hungry.
these men and blast that strong to be shaped into new invasion
suggested Hweetoral Borr. “I get And rough and tough Hweetoral
point!” That would be the order forces.”
all mixed up with them figures.” Borr incautiously scratched his
somewhere in Missouri, or maybe “Tough,” he said. He should
“After training hours, of course,” hairy ear just when one of those
— I never was much
in Mississippi know. He’d requisitioned a man-
Trontar Hytd rude projectile weapons was fir-
said. good on micro-geography. “Hwee- sion complete with servants and
ing at him. The slug slipped
“Of course, Trontar. And some- toral Ruxt! Take your squad and everything. He even had a native
through that opening the Hwee-
one’s gotta jawbone some kind of clean out that city. New Orleans trained to drive one of their lux-
toral had made in his body armor.
report on ammo expenditures they call it. Get their formal sur- uriously inefficient ground ve-
With the brain gone — or such
every training day. Maybe after render and make damn sure there hicles. What a deal! That Trontar
brain as Hweetoral Borr possessed
the rest of us have sacked in, for when the col-
are no guerrillas left had no worries, his anti-grav ray
— our kindly old surgeon/ replacer onel comes through to inspect.”
instance?” was working.
was foxed again.
“Of course. Okay, Hweetoral, I By the time I was Trontar Ruxt
Then there were the new
guess you got the idea.” the invasion was p>ractically over. heard that a man doesn’t
germs As I say, it was the standard thing
Invasion was almost a relief af-
. .
even need any money if he’s
But these things are as nothing with one or two countries holding stationed down at our headquar-
ter that brief bit of refresher train-
ing the 27th was going through. to the creative military mind. A out after all hope was gone Eng- — ters,” I said, and I hauled out a
swarm of regulations, manuals and land never did formally surrender, handful of Haldorian notes from
Our General-on-the-way-up had
directives issue forth from head- not that it mattered — and our suc- my pocket. “Guess I wouldn’t need
outlined his plan of attack
quarters, and force fields cease to cessful General was made a Sub- this stuff if I was transferred down
“Drop’m, hit’m, lift’m and drop’m
collapse, and fighters keep their Marshal of the Haldorian Empire. to our headquarters.”
again.” So I dropped, hit the de-
fenders, was lifted to a new cen- body armor on and adjusted. A real promotion and a great “Who needs money?” he asked.
When something like the influenza honor. Much good it did him when “Guys all the time trying to bribe
ter of resistance, and dropped
understand it was a stand- germ wipes out half a platoon, the he ventured his battle fleet too far me, Trontar. You’d be surprised.
again. I
wheels turn, a new vaccine is de- into the Slug lines a year later. Sure glad you aren’t, though, be-
ard type of invasion, there’s only
one way to do simple things. vised, and no more Haldorians die
SUCCESS STORY 17
16 GALAXY
cause I do hate to turn anyone in.” wide open. “You’re lucky,” I said,
I put the money back in my and I went on to lie about how I’d
pocket. “Speaking of turning in lost my own Huxtner prints in the
people,” I said casually, “you ever invasion. “No one,” I continued,
have any trouble with the under- “ever got quite that flesh tint of
cover boys about all this loot Huxtner’s, did they?”
you’ve picked up?” This, I Huxtner, by the way, is notori-
thought, would shake him — and ous for using a yellow undercoat
at the same time I marvelled at for his blue flesh colors, unlike
how I’d changed from a simple, every realistic painter before or
naive statistician to a tough and
after who have all used green un-
conniving combat NCO. — what else? Imagine a
dercoats
He yawned all over his fat face chrome-yellow underlaying a blue
and swung his swivel chair so that skin color. All Huxtner’s figures
he could better admire the pic- look like two-week corpses — but
ture beside his desk. I recognized Huxtner enthusiasts are unique.
the picture as a moderately good The Assignments Trontar and
reproduction of a Huxtner, a I had a nice long chat about Huxt-
minor painter of our XXVth. ner, at the conclusion of which he
“No,” the Assignments Trontar insisted on scratching my name
said, “it turnsout that one of my from the list of combat-bound men
sept brothers runs the local watch and putting me on a much smaller
birds. He often drops in here to '
list of men scheduled for our guard
visit with me. But anything I can outfit, stationed at the old Terran
do for you, Trontar?” capital of Washington.
“No,” I said, and I fired at the I had an un-Haldorian feeling
only possible loophole left, “I’ll of having arranged my own life
just leave quietly soyou can ad- after that incident. That feeling
mire your Huxtner.” persisted even after I took over
He swung back to me with a one of the guard platoons and dis-
start.“You recognize a Huxtner? covered that life in a guard outfit
You’re the first man I’ve ever met israther similar to Basic Fighter
in the service who ever heard of Course.
Huxtner, let alone recognizing one “Trontar Ruxt! Two men of
of his masterpieces! Hey, did you your platoon have tarnished ar-
know I brought this all the way mor. Get them working on it, and
from home in my hammock roll? maybe you’d better stay and see
And just look at the coloring of that they do it properly.”
that figure there!” “Yes, Sir.”
The loophole had been blasted One lives and learns. I turned
18 GALAXY SUCCESS STORY 19
the job of supervising the armor My commanding officer stared at
cleaning to the Hweetorals of the me suspiciously, for a fighting man, Ruxt! You guard louts don’t know I looked impressed. Strange
squads and then I went home to even one on guard duty, distrusts the meaning of time, do you?” how you learn, after a while, even
my woman. I remained at attention. the facial expression you are sup-
native Yes, this office personnel. And as everyone
life was like Fighter “So you’re a statistician, are posed to wear.
guard’s outfit knows, “Once a fighting man, al-
Basic Course. ways a fighting man.” I think my you? Well, we don’t need any “Do you know why this report
But only for the lower ranks. C.O.’s last action had been thirty statisticians now. We just got in a has to be perfect in format and
years ago. 1 whole squad of them. Can you use appearance?” I wouldn’t say the
Ill a writer, maybe?” Senior Trontar’s manner was bul-
“I was a statistician before I got i

lying, quite. Perhaps one could


in the service. Sir.”
T IFE wasn’t too unendurable in “Well, they’re screaming over at
^

iiV ES, Sir,” I did not remind call it hectoring. “Because the
those days. The duties were headquarters for qualified office
^ the Senior Trontar that us- Accountant is out in this sector
incredibly dull, of course, but the ing a writer was a clerk’s job, not somewhere and we have to be
personnel, and we have to send
danger of sudden death had re- them any trained men we have — a Trontar’s, not a combat three- ready for him if he drops in.”
ceded, since only a few fanatics of any rank.” striper’s, because the chances were This time I didn’t have to try
still tried to pick off us occupation “It’s for Haldor, Sir,” I said. By that he-knew it, for one thing. And to look impressed. The Accoimt-
troops. And this new world of Hal- now I knew the correct answer was he could easily make me a clerk, ant is the man who passes judg-
doria’s was rich in the things a sen- most often the noncommittal one. for another thing. ment on the conduct of all mili-
sitive and artistic man appreci- I reported to theHeadquarters, “Okay. New that we understand tary matters —
though of course
ates; painting, sculpture, music. 27th Invasion Force. The rumor each other,” the Senior Trontar he’s not one man, but maybe a
Then there was this new and was that Phase II, Reduction of grinned, “or that you understand dozen of them. Armed with the
pleasing thing of living with a me, which is all that matters, weapon hindsight,
Inhabitants to Slavery with Ship- invaluable of
woman . .
ment to Haldorian Colonies, was here’s your job.” He handed me a
he drops in after an invasion is
But it wouldn’t last long. about to start. And our Plan-
also, stack of scribbled notes, some rolls completed. He determines whether
Soon there’d be another planet ners were supposed to be well into of speech tape and a couple of the affair has gone according to
to invade and maybe a space bat- Phase III, Terraforming, already. cans of visual stuff. “Make up a regulations, or whether there has
tle with the great enemy. More
Terraforming was necessary, of report in standard format like this been carelessness, slackness or
years of cramped living and lurk- course, to bring the average tem-
example. Consolidate all this stuff wasting of Haldorian resources of
ing danger, for in the Empire one into it. This report has to be ready men or material. Additionally he
perature of earth down to some-
was drafted for the duration, and in two days, and it has to be per- monitors civil administration of
thing like the sub-arctic so that we
this duration was now some four
Haldorians could live here in com-
fect. No misspellings, no erasures, colonies and
federated worlds.
hundred years old. The most fort. We lost quite a few fighters
no nothing. Got that?” There are stories of Generals be-
Trontar Ruxt could expect, the during invasion when their cooling “Yes, Sir.” coming Fighter Basics and Chief
very most, was to somehow keep systems broke down. Rumor, as al- ,
“Yes, Sir,” he mimicked. “Hal- Administrators becoming sub-
alive for another fifty years and ways, was dead right; and the dor only knows why they couldn’t clerks after an Accountant’s visit.

then to retire on a small pension Headquarters was a mad rat-race. j


send me a few clerks instead of a
to one of the lesser worlds of the The Senior Trontar of the of- j
squad of statisticians and one GOT the report done, but it
Empire. fice was delighted to get another guard trontar. Do you know what I took the full two days— mainly
“Trontar Ruxt! Your records body. this stuff is that you’re going to because fighting men make such
show that you’re a statistician.” “Took your time getting here, work up? It’s the final report on incomplete and erroneous reports
our invasion here!” while action is going on. I got to
20 GALAXY
SUCCESS STORY 21
understand the exasperated con- “Yeah, sure, Ruxt But I didn’t ferences between the original re- givesyou this operation which
cern of office personnel who have realize, nobody realized, how bad port and this jawboned version makes you look like a native. And
to consolidate varied
fragments the figures were till they were all that someone had goofed badly in then you just settle down on
into a coherent whole. And add- together and written up. Look, undertaking this invasion, and Astarte for the rest of your life
ing to the natural difficulties of this report shows that we then had goofed worse in not with the women just begging you
the task was the continual pres- shouldn’t Terraform this planet calling the thing off. Now there to let them support you.”
ence of the Senior Trontar, and — that we can’t make a nudnick was to be considerable covering- “You mean you’d rather live
his barbed comments and lurid on the slavery proposition — and up of tracks. The thought sud- on some lousy federated world
promises as to what would follow that maybe we shouldn’t have denly came to me that a guard’s than be a Haldorian in the In-
my failure at the work. even invaded this inferno at all.” trontar named Ruxt knew rather vasion Forces?” There was a
But the rejjort was done and “So what do you want me to a lot of what had gone on. Follow- strong sardonic note in the ques-
sent in to the Adjutant. do?” ing that mildly worrying thought tioner’s voice.
came back covered with
It “I’ll tell you what you’re going came a notion that perhaps a “Man, you ever been on As-
scribbled changes, additions, and to do .” The Senior Trontar
. . guard’s trontar named Ruxt might tarte?” the first man asked in-

deletions — and it came back car- had regained his normal nasty be considered by some as just credulously.
ried by a much disturbed Senior disposition. “You’re going to re- another set of tracks to be cov- “Yeah, but how are you going
Trontar. do this report. You’re going to ered up. That far-off retirement to be sure that the surgeon/re-
“Who in Haldor do they think re-do it starting now, you’re going on a small but steady income be- placer doesn’t turn you in?” ob-
I am?” he moaned. “I just handed to work on it all night, and you’re came even more unlikely, and jected one of the others. “He
on to you the figures that they going to have it on my desk and the piossibilities began to appear could take your money, do the
gave me. Me! And threatening in perfect shape when I come in of a quick end in the Slug-shat- operation,and have you picked
me with duty on a space freighter in the morning, or, by Haldor, the tered hulk of a space freighter. up. That way he’d have the
. . . and one into the Slug area at next thing you write will be your Had the Senior Trontar changed money and get a medal too.”
that!” transfer to the space freighter in his attitude towards me, to- “I’d get around that,” the talky
I thougnt, as I looked at my run nearest the Slug Galaxy.” The wards the end of the day, perhaps guy said, “I’d just . .
.”

ruined script, that guard duty Senior Trontar ran momentarily acted as though I were a con- At this point he was jabbed in
wasn’t so bad, and that even com- out of breath. “And,” he came demned man? Possibly. And had thearm by one of his buddies who
bat wasn’t rough all the time. back strongly, “you won’t be going some of the officers been whis- had noticed my eavesdropping.
“See, Trontar,” the four-striper as no Trontar, neither!” pering about me late in the af- The man shut up. All four of them
said, calling me by my proper be on your desk in the
“It’ll ternoon? Could have been. drifted off to their posts.
rank for the first time, “you did morning. Sir,” I said. Shaken, I wandered down to
a good job, the Adjutant himself Deck hands on the space the mess hall and joined a group WENT reluctantly back to
said so. But these figures .” he . . freighter run were, I’d heard, par- of third-watch guards, who were
1 the office. From then till dawn
shuddered. “If the Accountant ticularity expendable. goofing off while their Trontar I dreamed up and rehearsed all
should see these we’d all be for was checking more distant guard manner of wild schemes to take
T3 Y me out of this dangerous situa-
it. Space-freighter duty would be

getting off light.” The Senior ^ watch


the middle of the third
I had completed a
posts.
“It’s easy,” one of them was tion. Or was it all perhaps just
Trontar seemed almost human to perfect copy of the report com- telling the others. “All you got to imagination? A Haldorian Tron-
me right then. plete with attachments, appen- do is to slip some surgeon/re- tar should never be guilty of an
“I just put down what you dices, and supplements. And also placer a few big notes and he excess of that quality. But I made
gave me,” I said. by this time I knew from the dif-
22 GALAXY SUCCESS STORY 23
sure when the Senior Trontar the natives along the streets. The
quite as they were intended to said, “not from my office, so I
sneaked in a bit before the regular glances were standard, but this
do. I found that I could but go haven’t a request slip.”
opening time, that I was just, ai>- feeling of being doomed was new.
down like any Haldorian, fight- “Come on your own? Whafs
parently, completing the last page They were going to get me. I
me
of the report. The impression I
ing to the last. your unit? Give your ID
felt sure of that, even though my card!”
hoped to convey was that I had Sike Test Scores had always been
spent the entire night in working
IV Let’s see, I thought. I’ve ab-
as low as any normal's. But how
from
stracted classified material
and worrying. could a Haldorian disappear on
OI put on my dress uniform the and carried it outside
files
“It’s okay,” the Senior Trontar
growled after he had studied the
Aside from skin color,
this planet?
there was the need to keep body
S the next day, and made sure the I’ve broken the chain
office,

that nothing could be deader of command and communication,


completed report. “Guess you can temperatures at a livable level
than the dulled bits, or brighter and, worst of all, I’d tried to see
take a couple of days off, Ruxt. I The body armor unit was good
than the polished ones. A bit of a senior officer without a request
believe in taking care of my men. only for about a week. Find a
this effort was wasted since I ar- Yeah, maybe I’d be lucky to
slip.
Say,” he asked casually, “I sup- surgeon/replacer and bribe him
rived at Headquarters looking end up as a live deckhand on a
pose you didn’t understand those to change me to an Earthman? I something less than sharp. The space freighter.
figures you were working up, did saw now how ridiculous such an
you?”
cooling unit in my armor was A bored young Zankor with
idea was. But was there nothing
acting up a bit; and, also, three the rarely-seen balance insignia of
“No,” I said, “I didn’t pay any but to wait passively while the
Terran city guerillas had tried to the Accoimtant’s Office rose from
attention to them, they were just Senior Trontar and the Adjutant,
ambush me on the way. You take behind the Admissions Officer.
something to copy, that’s all.” I and whoever else did the dirty quite a jolt from a land mine, “I’ll take responsibility for this
felt confident that I could out- work, all got together and rail-
even with armor set on maximum. man,” he said casually to the A.O.
fence the Senior Trontar any time roaded me off?
Some of those people never knew “Follow me, Trontar. I was won-
at this little
game, but what had Haldorians, though, never sur-
when they were licked. No won- dering when you’d turn up.”
he and the Adjutant been whis- render — or so the Mil Prop lad der their Spanglt Resistance Quo- “Me?”
pering about before they had would have us believe. Right from tient was close to the highest on “Well, someone like you.
come in? the time you are four years old
record. Though usually it’s scared sub-
“But you used to be a statisti- and you start seeing the legend-
I got through the three lines clerks that we drag up. And that
cian, didn’t you?” He looked at ary founders of Haldoria — Bordt of guards and protective force reminds me.” He turned to an-
the far corner of the room and and Smordt — fighting off the fields all right, checking my rayer other young and equally bored
smiled slightly. “But you take a fierce six-legged carnivores,you here, —
my armor there the usual Zankor standing nearby. “Take
couple days off, Ruxt. Maybe are told never to give up. “Where dull procedure. By the time I over, Smit, will you? They’re
we’ll find something good for you there’s Haldor, there’s Hope!” reached the Admissions Officer bringing in that sub-clerk who’s
when you come back.” He smiled “There’s always another stone for I was down to imiform and been writing those anonymous
again. “Don’t forget to check out the wolves, if you but look.” I medals. letters. I’ve reserved the Inquisi-
with the Locator before you go, must confess I’d snickered (way “You want to see tihie Account- tion Room for a couple of hours
though. We don’t want to lose deep inside, naturally) at these ant?” the Admissions Officer for him.”
you.” exhortations ever since I’d reached asked incredulously. “You mean I followed the Zankor as he
I stumbled home, not even no- the age of thinking, but now all one of his staff! Well, where’s strode away, wondering as I did
ticing the hate-filled glances my these childhood admonitions came your request slip, Trontar?” if they had more than one Inqui-
armor and blue skin drew from rushing back to give me strength. “I’ve come on my own. Sir,” I sition Room.

24 GALAXY SUCCESS STORY 25


He led
just off the corridor
me
me into a small
and motioned
you see the
to a chair. “Before
room
what
I
“I’m sorry, Sir,” I said, “but
I have is so important that
can give it to the Accountant
T he be a
Accountant turned out to
tall and thin Full Mar-
seen. He was
side me, the old Ameet Ruxt was
both marveling at the change in
himself and cynically appreciating
I shal, the first I’d
Accountant, Trontar,” he said, only.” dressed in a uniform subtly dif- the performance.
“I’ll have to screen what you He stared at me
for rather a ferent from the regulation, and he The Accountant interrupted
have. It may be that we won’t long moment, pondering, no i
wore only one tiny ribbon, which the performance about halfway
have to botber the Accountant doubt, the pleasures of witnessing i
I didn’t recognize. He had the through. “Yes, yes, Trontar,” he
at all.” a full-dress military flogging. Then slightly deeper-blue skin you said brusquely, “I think we can
I

he shrugged and picked up the often see on the upper classes, assume your action is for the good
'
I
^HE smooth way the Zankor speaker beside him. He didn’t though this impression may have of Haldoria, may the Empire in-
talked and his friendly man- call the Trontar of the Guard to 1 been due to the green furnishings crease and the Emperor live for-
ner almost convinced me that we come and take my documents by '
of the room. It was, in fact, called ever. Yes. But you say you have
should both put the interests of force. I could tell that even the Green Room, when the Ter- material dealing with the overall
the Accountant first. But then it though he spoke in High Haldo- rans had used it as one of their report on our invasion and occu-
occurred to me that a man with rian, that harsh language the up- regional capitals. pation of this planet. You further
the gold knot of a Zankor on his per class are so proud of preserv- I saluted the Accountant with say this material shows discrep-
collar wasn’t often friendly with ing as a relic from the days of my best salute, the kind you lift ancies in the official report —
a mere Trontar. That thought the early conquerors. No, he was was sugar and drop as if it
like it which you imply you have seen.”
snapped me out of it and I knew speaking to a superior — there’s were the other. The Accountant “Yes, Sir,” I said, and I handed
I should only give the minimums. never any doubt as to who is on responded with one of those neg- over the several sheets of paper
“I’ve got documents,” I said top when people are speaking ligent waves that tell you the which comprised the old report
— “document” is such a lovely High Haldorian — and then I saluter was a survivor of the best and the changes of the new.
strong word, “which prove that caught the emphatic negative con- and bloodiest private military Meanwhile, behind me, the Zan-
the official report on the invasion nected with the present-day Hal- school in existence. kor was invisible but I had not
and occupation of this planet is dorian phrases meaning Phase II “Proceed, Trontar,” the Ac- a doubt but that he was there,
false.” That, I thought, was as and Phase III, Terraforming. So countant said, leaning back and keeping the regulation distance
minimum as one could get. even though I don’t know High relaxing as if he didn’t have a care from me.
“Ah, and have you?” The Zan- Haldorian, and would never be in the universe. These people knew their busi-
kor still looked bored. “Well, let’s so incautious as to admit it if launched into my speech, the
I ness.
see them, Trontar,” he said I did, I knew roughly what had one I’d been mentally rehearsing. The Accountant took the col-
briskly. been said. I told him I knew I was breaking lection of papers and compared
The Zankor had that sincere And I was frantically revising the chain of communication, but them with some others he hadon
look the upper class always uses my plans. I
that I was doing it for the service his desk. I continued to stand at
when they are about to do you “Follow me,” the Zankor said, !
and for Haldoria, etc. Any old Full Brace. Once you’ve been
They blush that heavy shade
dirt. after completing the call. “We’ll serviceman knows the routine. I chewed out for slipping into an
see the Accountant now, and —
j

of blue, almost purple, and they was, as I ran through this speech, Ease position without being so
look you straight in the eye, and he looked at me sincerely — I and just as earnest-
just as sincere ordered, you never forget.
they quiver a bit as to voice . . . “you’d better have something I
good of Hal-
ly interested in the The Accountant laid down the
and the next thing you know, very good indeed. You really had, doria as any Haldorian combat papers, scanned my face, got up
you’re shafted. Trontar.” Trontar could be. But, deep in- and walked to the far end of the

26 GALAXY SUCCESS STORY 27


.- 5-

. 4 .'. -

and assured the Accountant that climb to the status of Trontar. I


room. In front of a mirror he The Zankor saluted and was
he imderstood .“Sir.”
. relaxed and he had me.
stopped and fingered that one on his way out the door when the .

I had been caught on the stan-


small ribbon, quite, I thou^t, Accountant spoke again. “And
as if he were matching
another one.
it with Zankor ...”
“Yes, Sir?”
T hen we were alone and the
Accountant was suddenly a
dard Haldorian Soft/Hard Tac-
tic.

He came back quickly and sat “I should be very unhappy if


[
kindly old man who invited me to “Disabuse your mind, Trontar,”
|
down and relax. I did. I really the Accoimtant snapped, and he
the top brass here — the present
sit
down again. “Zankor,” he said, '

go and stretched out, I forgot was no longer a kindly old man


top brass — found out about this
let
“set up a meeting with the top
everything I’d ever been taught but a thin-lipped Haldorian snap-
brass for this afternoon. I’ll talk material the Trontar brought.”
as a child or had learned on my per, “of any idea that you have
with the Trontar privately.” The Zankor swallowed hard

28 GALAXY SUCCESS STORY 29


saved llie Empire — or any such large and heavy whips to demon-
nonsense!” Having cracked his strate that no one can be trusted,
j

be of some help in the adminis- ates out to me. And I hold that
i

verbal whip about my Moulders Efficient teachers, the Haldorians. trative services.” once a seller, always a seller. If I
could be certain that you are and
J

he just crouched there, glaring at “Just genuine patriot,” the


a The Accoimtant said nothing,
me, his mouth entirely vanished
j
was immobile, his hands will be perfectly loyal to the Hal-
Accovmtant repeated “who has his face
and his eyes — well, I’d just as rendered a considerable service to
|

still. He’d learned his lessons well, dorian Way . .


.”

soon not think about some things. the Empire. Trontar,” he said, all
,

once. I managed to quiet the twitch-


Yes, and then he gave me the “In fact,” I said, deciding to go ing eyelid and to look perfectly
friendly and intimate, “the Em-
Shout/Silence treatment, the pire likes to reward well its faith- for broke, “with my knowledge of loyal to the Haldorian Way.
whole thing so masterfully timed the language and the customs “Yes, Trontar,” the Accoimtant
ful sons. What would you most
that at the end he could have here, I might be of most service said decisively, “I’ll buy it.”
like to have or to do?”
signed me on as a permanent la- “To serve to Haldoria right here on this
Haldoria, Sir!” I was
he my
T conference
results of
[

trine keeper on a spy satellite in back on my mental feet at last planet”


the Slug Galaxy. A genius, that “Had you guessed, by any with the Accountant were not
He dropped his act then. He
man was. The sort of man who chance, Trontar,” the Account- long in appearing.
was, I think, just practicing any-
could — and probably did con- — way. Wehad a short talk then, ant’s voice was neutrally soft, The Haldorian troops were
trol forty wives without a weapon. “that we won’t be terraforming called in, along with the military
the kind in which one person is
“Your information, as it hap- thisworld? And that we may not governors and the whole admini-
quickly and efficiently pumped
pens,” he said after I had regain^ even exploit the slavery propo- strative body, and they all shipped
of eversdhing he knows. After
my senses, “checks with sition?” out, somewhere into the Big Out-
other about ten minutes of question and
data I’ve received. It might be, of answers, the Accountant leaned “I thought both those possibili- There they all love so much. A
ties likely,” I admitted. surprised Earth was informed that
course, that the whole thing is a back and studied my face care-
fabrication of my enemies. In that “But you know that in such a she was now a full-fledged and
fully.
case, Trontar —” he looked at me “Have you considered Officers’
case we would have no admini- self-governing member of the Hal-
earnestly — “you can be assured strative services on this world? dorian Empire. The Terrans were
Selection Course, Trontar? I
you’ll not be around to rejoice Thus you are, in fact, asking for not informed of the economic fac-
might be able to help you a little
at or to profit from my down- a position that wouldn’t exist.” tors behind this decision, though
in getting in.”
fall.” The Accountant, without a change it might have been cheering for
Course was,
Officers’ Selection
“Of course. Sir,” I said, quite as I knew. Fighter Basic Course mul- of position of expression, some- them to know that their Spanglt
how gave the impression of loom- Resistance Quotient indicated
earnestly as he. tiplied in length and casualties.
“But we both know you that ing over me. they would make unsatisfactory
Less than 20 per cent graduate
are “I thought,” I said, trying to slaves. Nor did the high cost of
only a genuine patriot,” he ... or escape.
said with a hearty chuckle, a pick exactly the right words, and terraforming the planet get men-
chuckle exactly like that of a at the same time all too conscious tioned. We Haldorians prefer the
iilVO, Sir,” I said. “I wondered
Father Goodness — that kindly if I mightn’t be of more
of a twitching muscle in my left gratitude of others towards us to
old godfather who brings such nice value to Haldoria in some way eyelid, “that there might be an be unalloyed with baser, or cal-
presents to every Haldorian child analogous position, even so.” culating, emotions.
other than being in the combat
until they are six, and who on that The Accountant loomed higher. Not all the Haldorian personnel
services.” So now I’d said, it and
last exciting visit brings, and en- “If only,” he said, “you hadn’t went out to fight or to administer.
there was nothing to do but to go
thusiastically uses, a bundle of on. “Perhaps,” I ventured, “I might
come to us, Trontar. I mean that I understand the space-freighter

you, in effect, sold your associ- run to the battle fleet in the Slug
30 GALAXY
SUCCESS STORY 31
Galaxy gained many new deck- gray overcast, just like it does
hands,among them one whose back on Haldor. It’s a good life
uniform showed the marks where being Resident Trader on Terra,
Trontar’s stripes had perched. especially when one is, on the
Asfor myself? side, a trusted agent of the Ac-
Well, a relatively minor opera- countant. It would be a perfect
tion changed me into a black- life — if the Accountant hadn’t
skinned Terran, though the sur- been right about people being
geon/replacers could do nothing, unable to stop selling out.
ironically enough in view of my Right now I’m up to my neck
new color, to increase my resist- in this Terran conspiracy to re-
ance to heat. I refnember those volt against the very light bonds
stirring days of combat some- Haldoria left on this planet. But
times, usually when I am making how could I resist the tempting
my semi-annual flight between offer the Terrans made me? The Condition of Empioyment
Churchill,Manitoba, and Tierra long sought-for good life, it now
Del Fuego. In fact, during those occurs to me, isn’t so much in
flights when I am practically escaping from something, but in By CLIFFORD D. SIMAK
alone is the only time I have to knowing when to stop. But that
reflect or remember, because on I know. I’m drawing the line
both of my estates there is no- right now. I’ll just tell that agent This was one time when there
thing but noise, children, and of the Slug Galaxy that I have
wives. no intention of selling out both had to be — just had to be — a
But ifs a good life when the this solar system and Haldoria!
snow is driving down out of a low — EARL GOOD ALE way to keep a good man down!

Illustrated by MACK

H had been dreaming of


home, and when he came
awake, he held his eyes
tight shut in a desperate effort not
to lose the dream. He kept some
but it was not there as it had been
in the dream.
But even so, he held his eyes
tight shut, for now that he was
awake, he knew what they’d open
of it, but it was blurred and faint on, and he shrank from the drab-
and lacked the sharp distinction ness and the coldness of the room
and the color of the dream. He in which he lay. It was, he thought,
could tell it to himself, he knew not alone the drabness and the cold,
just how it was, he could recall it but also the loneliness and the sense
as a lost and far-off thing and place. of not belonging. So long as he did

CONDITION OF EMPLOYMENT 33
32 GALAXY
not look at it, he need not accept That was all that was needed to of the wilderness of space, of the with — but the green was always
thisharsh reality, although he felt smash a man’s career, to cmsh his white eyes of the stars watching in there.
himself on the fringe of it, and it hope forever and to keep him that wilderness — the glamor of He went down the steps, fum-
was reaching for him, reaching trapped and exiled on a planet that the engine-song and of the chill bling in his pocket for a cigarette.
through the color and the warmth was not his own. white metal knifing through the He found a crumpled package and
and friendliness of this other place He sat up and swung his feet blackness and the loneliness of the in it one crumpled cigarette. He
he tried to keep in mind. over the edge of the bed, himting emptiness, and the few cubic feet put it between his lips and threw
At was impossible. The
last it for the trousers he’d left on the of courage and defiance that the pack away and stood at the
fabric of the held-onto dream be- floor. He foimd and pulled them on thumbed its nose at that emptiness. gate, trying to make up his mind.
came too thin and fragile to ward and scuffed into his shoes and stood But there was no glamor. There
off the moment of reality, and he up in the room. was brutal work and everlasting 13 UT it was a gesture only, this
let his eyes come open. watchfulness and awful sickness, hardening of his mind, for he
It was every bit as bad as he '
HE room was small and mean
I

the terrible fear that listened for the knew what he would do. There was
remembered it. It was drab and —and cheap. There would come stutter in the drive, for the ping nothing else to do. He’d done it
cold and harsh, and there was the a day when he could not afford a against the metal hide, for any one day after day for more weeks than
maddening alienness waiting for room even as cheap as this. His of the thousand things that could he cared to count, and he’d do it
him, crouching in the comer. He cash was nmning out, and when happen out in space. again today and tomorrow and to-
tensed himself against it, trying to the last of it was gone, he would He picked up his wallet off the morrow, until his cash ran out
work up his courage, hardening have to get some job, any kind of bedside table and put it in his And after that, he wondered,
himself to arise and face it for an- job. Perhaps he should have got- pocket and went out into the hall what?
other day. ten one before he began to run so and down the rickety stairs to the Get a job and try to strike a bar-
The plaster of the ceiling was short. But he had shied away from crumbling, lopsided porch outside. gain with his situation? Try to save
cracked and had flaked away in it. For settling down to work would And the greenness waited for against the day when he could buy
great ugly blotches. The paint on be an admission that he was de- him, the unrelenting, bilious green passage back to Mars — for they’d
the wall was peeling and dark stains feated, that he had given up his of Earth. It was a thing to gag at, surely let him ride the ships even
ran down it from the times the hope of going home again. an indecent
to steel oneself against, if they wouldn’t let him run them.
rain leaked in. And there was the He had been a fool, he told him- and abhorrent color for anyone to But, he told himself, he’d figured
smell, the musty human smell that self, for ever going into space. Let look at. The grass was green and that one out. It would take twenty
had been caged in the room too him just get back to Mars and no all the plants and every single tree. years to save enough, and he had no
long. one could ever get him off it. He’d There was no place outdoors and twenty years.
Staring at the ceiling, he tried go back to the ranch and stay there few indoors where one could escape He lit the cigarette and went
to see the sky. There had been a as his father had waflted him to from it, and when one looked at it tramping down the street, and even
time when he could have seen it do. He’d marry Ellen and settle too long, it seemed to pulse and through tile cigarette, he could
through this or any ceiling. For the down, and other fools could fly the tremble with a hidden life. smell the hated green.
sky had belonged to him, the sky death-traps around the Solar Sys- The greenness, and the bright- Ten blocks later, he reached the
and the wild, dark space beyond it. tem. ness of the sun, and the sapping far edge of the spaceport. There
But now he’d lost them. They were Glamor, he thought — it was the heat — these were things of Earth was a ship. He stood for a moment
hisno longer. glamor that sucked in the kids that it was hard to bear. The light looking at it before he went into
A few marks in a book, he when they were young and starry- one could get away from, and the the shabby restaurant to buy him-
thought, an entry in the record. eyed. The glamor of the far place. heat one could somehow ride along self some breakfast.
34 GALAXY CONDITION OF EMPLOYMENT 35
There was a ship, he thought, now lay claim to dignity, he could
and that was a hopeful sign. Some not imagine.
days there weren’t any, some days But this, in any case, was more
three or four. But there was a ship than simple homesickness. It was
today and it might be the one. planetsickness, culturesickness, a
One day, he told himself, he’d cutting off of all he’d known and
surely find the ship out there that wanted.
would take him home — a ship with
a captain so desperate for an engi- ITTING, waiting for the cakes
neer that he would overlook the S to cook, he caught the dream
entry in the book. again — the dream of red hills roll-
But even as he thought it, he ing far into the land, of the cold,
it for a lie — a lie he told him-
knew dry air soft against the skin, of the
self each day. Perhaps to justify splendor of the stars at twilight and
his coming here each day to check the faery yellow of the distant
at the hiring hall, a lie to keep his sandstorm. And the low house
hope alive, to keep his courage up. crouched against the land, with the
A lie that made it even barely pos- old gray-haired man sitting stiffly

sible to face the bleak, warm room upon the porch that faced
in a chair
and the green of Earth. toward the svmset.
He went into the restaurant and The waitress brought the cakes.
sat down on a stool. The day would come, he told
The waitress came to take his himself, when he could afford no
order.“Cakes again?” she asked. longer this self-pity he carried. He
He
nodded. Pancakes were knew it for whatwas and he
it

cheap and filling and he had to should get rid of it. And yet it was
make his money last. a thing he lived with — even more
“You’ll find a ship today,” said than that, it had become a way of
the waitress. “I have a feeling you life. It was his comfort and his

will.” shield, the driving force Jiat kept


“Perhaps I will,” he said, without him trudging on each day.
believing it. He finished the cakes and paid
“I know just how you feel,” the for them.
waitress told him. “I know how aw- “Good luck,” said the waitress,
ful can be. I was homesick once
it with a smile.
myself, the first time I left home. I “Thank you,” he said.
thought I would die.” He tramped down the road, with
He didn’t answer, for he felt it the gravel crunching underfoot and
would not have been dignified to the sim like a blast upon his back,
answer. Although why he should but he had left the greenness. The
36 GALAXY
CONDITION OF EMPLOYMENT
port lay bare and bald, scalped and The captain spat on the floor to Just one more trip, thought he worked himself, for fourteen
cauterized. show his contempt for runaway en- Cooper. Just so she gets me to solid hours, without a wink of

He reached where he was going gineers. “He wasn’t man enough.” Mars. Then she can fall apart, for sleep, without a bite to eat
and went up to the desk. “I’m man enough,” Cooper de- all I care. Then he crossed his fingers and
clared. “She’s beautiful,” he said, and told the captain he was ready.
“You again,” said the union
agent meant it. They got out of atmosphere
“Anything for Mars?” A ND he knew, standing there, He walked up to one of the great with the engines holding together.
“Not a thing. No, wait a minute. what it would be like. But there landing fins and laid a hand upon Cooper imcrossed the fingers and
was no other choice. If he wanted it. It was solid metal, with all the sighed with deep relief. Now all he
There was a man in here not too
long ago.” to get back to Mars, he had to take paint peeled off it, with tiny pits had to do was keep them running.
the Morrisons. of corrosion speckling its surface
The agent got up from the desk
and went to the door. Then he “O.K., then, come on with you,” and with a hint of cold, as if if ^
I
^ HE captain called him forward

stepped outside the door and began the captain said. might not as yet have shed all the and brought out a bottle. “You
“Wait a minute,” said the imion touch of space. did better, Mr. Cooper, than I
to shout at someone.
m
A few i nutes later, he was back. agent. “You can’t rush off a man And this was it, he thought. After thought you would.”
Behind him came a lumbering and like this. You have to give him allthe weeks of waiting, here finally Cooper shook his head. “We
irate individual. He had a cap upon time to pick up his duffle.” was the thing of steel and engineer- aren’t there yet. Captain. We’ve a
his head that said CAPTAIN in any to pick up,” Coop-
“I haven’t ing that would take him home long way still to go.”

but aside from er said, thinking of the few pitiful again. “Mr. Cooper,” said the captain,
greasy, torn letters,
belongings back in the boarding He walked back to where the “you know what we are carrying?
that he was distinctly out of uni-
form. house. “Or none that matters.” captain stood. You got any idea at all?”
“You imder stand,” the agent said “Let’s get on with it,” he said. Cooper shook his head.
“Here’s the man,” the agent told
the captain. “Name of Anson Coop- to the captain, “that the union can- “I’ll want to look the engines over.” “Medicines,” the captain told

not vouch for a man with a record “They’re all right,” said captain. him. “There’s an epidemic out
er. Engineer first class, but his
record’s not too good.” such as his.” “That may be so. I still want to there. We were the only ship any-
“To hell with that,” said the cap- run a check on them.” where near ready for takeoff. So
“Damn the record!” bawled the
captain. He said to Cooper: “Do tain. “Just so he can run the en- He had expected the engines to we were requisitioned.”
gines. That’s all I ask.” be bad, but not as bad as they “It would have been much bet-
you know Morrisons?”
The ship stood far out in the turned out to be. If the ship had not ter if we could have overhauled the
“I was raised with them,” said
She had not been much to been much to look at, the Morri- engines.”
Cooper. It was not the truth, but field.

he knew he could get by. start with and she had not im- sons were worse. ‘We didn’t have the time. Every
proved with age. Just the job of “They’ll need some work,” he minute counts.”
“They’re good engines,” said the
riding on a craft like that would be said. “We can’t lift with them, the Cooper drank the liquor, stupid
captain, “but cranky and demand-
high torture, without the worry of shape they’re in.” with a tiredness that cut clear to
ing. You’ll have to baby them.
You’ll have to sleep with them. nursing Morrisons. The captain raved and swore. the bone. “Epidemic, you say. What

And if you don’t watch them close, “She’ll hang together, no fear,” “We have to blast by dawn, damn kind?”
it! This is a goddam emergency.” “Sand fever,” said the captain.
they’ll up and break your back.” said the captain. “She’s got a lot
more trips left in her than you’d “You’ll lift by dawn,” snapped “You’ve heard of it, perhaps.”
“I know how to handle them,”
think. It beats all hell what a tub Cooper. “Just leave me alone.” Cooper felt the chill of deadly
said Cooper.
“My engineer ran out on me.” like that can take.” , He drove his gang to work, and fear creep along his body. “I’ve

38 GALAXY CONDITION OF EMPLOYMENT 39


heard of it.” He finished off the this? Here in the engine room, place that reeked with other smells. And that was more, he admitted
whisky and stood up. “I have to get with its cranky motors, it might be He could look beyond the metal to himself, then he had ever
back, sir. I have to watch those worse than elsewhere in the ship. skin of the ship in which he rode thought they would do.
engines.” But that didn’t mean it wasn’t bad. and across the long dark miles and
“We’re counting on you, Mr. For throughout the ship stretched see the gentle sunset on the redness ¥TE foimd that he was alone. The
Cooper. You have to get us tension and discomfort and, above of the hills. crew had gone swarming up
through.” all, the dead, black fear of space And he had an advantage
in this the ladder as soon as he had pulled
He went back to the engine room itself, of what space could do to a over all the others. For without the switch. And now it was time
and slumped into a chair, listening ship and the men within it going home, he could not have that he himself was going.
to the engine-song that beat stood it. But he stood there for a moment,
throughout the ship. N some of the bigger, newer The days wore on and the en- in that silent room, as he gave the

He had to keep them going. I might be bet-


ships, conditions gines held and the hope built up place one final visual check. Every-
There was no question of it now, if ter, but not a great deal better. within him. And finally hope gave thing was all right. There was noth-
there’d even been a question. For They still tranquilized the passen- way to triumph. ing to be done.
now it was not the simple matter of gers and colonists who went out to And then came the day when the Heturned and climbed the lad-
getting home again, but of getting the other planets — tranquilized ship went mushing down through der slowly, heading for the port.
needed drugs to the old home them to quiet the worries, to make the thin, cold atmosphere and came He foimd the captain standing in
planet. them more insensitive to discom- in to a landing. the port, and out beyond the port
promise you,” he said, talking
“I fort, to prevent their breaking into He reached out and pulled a stretched the redness of the land.
to himself. “I promise you we’ll get panic. switch and the engines rumbled to “All the rest have gone except
there.” But a crew you could not tran- a halt. Silence came into the tor- the purser,” said the captain. ‘T
Hedrove the engine crew and quilize. A crew must be wide- tured steel that was numb with
still thought you’d soon be up. You did
he drove himself, day after dying awake, with all its faculties intact. noise. a fine job with the engines, Mr.
day, while the howling of the tubes A crew had to sit and take it. He stood beside the engines, Cooper. I’m glad you shipped with
and the thunder of the hajnvire Perhaps the time would come deafened by the silence, frightened us.”
Morrisons racked a man almost when the ships were big enough, by this alien thing that never made “It’s my last run,” Cooper said,
beyond endurance. when the engines and the drives a sound. staring out at the redness of the
There was no such thing as would be perfected, when Man had He walked along the engines, hills. “Now I settle down.”
sleep — only catnaps caught as one lost some of his fear of the empti- with his hand sliding on their metal, “That’s strange,” said the cap-
could catch them. There were no ness of space — then it would be stroking them as he would pet an tain. “I take it you’re a Mars man.”
such things as meals, only food easier. animal, astonished and slightly “I am. And I never should have
gulped on the run. And there was But the time might be far off. angry at himself for finding in him- left.”

work, and worse than work were It was almost two hundred years self a queer, distorted quality of The captain stared at him and
the watching and the waiting, the now since his family had gone out, affection for them. said again: “That’s strange.”
shoulders tensed against the stutter among the first colonists, to Mars. But why not? They had brought “Nothing strange,” said Cooper.
If it were not that he was going »
or the sudden screech of metal that him home. He had nursed and
would spell disaster. home, he told himself, it would be pampered them, he had cursed “It’s my last run, too,” the cap-
Why, he wondered dully, did a beyond all tolerance and endur- them and watched over them, he tain broke in. “There’ll be a new
man ever go to space? Why should ance. He could almost smell the had slept with them, and they had commander to take her back to
one deliberately choose a job like cold, dry air of home — even in this brought him home. Earth.”
-

40 GALAXY CONDITION OF EMPLOYMENT 41


r
“In that case,” Cooper offered, “Was it a rough trip?” the doctor at the Martian sandscape and shiv- erous drinks into glasses for all
“I’ll stand you a drink as soon as finally asked. ered. Of all the God-forsaken places three of them.
we get down.” “They all are rough,” the captain he had ever seen! “Have a shot of this,” he said,
“I’ll take you up on that First replied curtly. He was a fool to be in space, he “and let’s forget about it”
we’ll get our shots.” Cooper shook his head. “This told himself, with a wife like Doris “As if we could remember,” said
They climbed down the ladder one was the worst I’ve ever known. and two kids back home. He could Cooper, laughing suddenly.
.”
and walked across the field toward Those engines . .
hardly wait to see them. “After all,” the captain said, far
the spaceport buildings. Trucks And he knew the symptoms. He too cheerfully, “we have to see it in
went whining past them, heading ^
I
'' HE captain said: “I’m sorry, was getting homesick once again the right perspective. It’s nothing
for the ship, to pick up the un- -*•
Cooper. This time it was the — but this time it was for Earth. more than a condition of employ-
loaded cargo. truth. We were really carrying The doctor was taking a bottle ment.”
And now it was all coming back medicine. There is an epidemic. out of his desk and pouring gen- — CLIFFORD D. SIMAK
to Cooper, the way he had dreamed Mine was the only ship. I’d planned
it in that shabby room on Earth
the exhilarating taste of the thinner,
— an overhaul, but we couldn’t wait.”
Cooper nodded. “I remember FORECAST
colder air, the step that was spring- now,” he said. The next issue solves a vital problem that we have spent all this while
He stood up weakly and stared work out: how to get a novel of such freshness, ingenuity, suspense
trying to
ier because of the lesser gravity,
the swift and clean elation of the out the window at the cold, the — and stature —
that it could bridge the gap between issues. To solve that
problem, Frederik Pohl has out-Pohled himself, a big deal indeed for one
uncluttered, brave red land beneath alien, the forbidding land of Mars.
who has given us Gravy Planet and other such great Galaxy book-length
a weaker sun. “I never could have made it,”
serials.
Inside, the doctor waited for he said flafly, “if I’d not been In DRUNKARD'S WALK —
a tipsy title, but a sure-footed story the —
them in his tiny office. psychoed.” main character plagued by a terrifying, utterly baffling assassin. Night
is

“Sorry, gentlemen,” he said, “but He turned back to the doctor. , after night, the assassin stalks him and will not rpst until he is dead. A com-
you know the regulations.” “Will there ever be a time?” monplace predicament in fiction, of course. But in this case, it is not the man
“I don’t like said the captain, The doctor nodded. “Some day, being stalked who must be dead. It is the assassin! Nor is this simply an
“but I suppose
it,”

it does make sense.” certainly.When the ships are bet- O. Henry switcheroo —
the hard, cold, completely logical reasons will sweep
you through the two installments of this compelling story.
They sat down and
in the chairs ter.When the race is more condi-
Along with this big half of a true, honest-Injun, fair-dinkum, so-help-us
rolled up their sleeves.
“Hang on,” the doctor told them.
tioned to space travel.”
“But this homesickness business
book-length nove' —
not a "shortened version" —
we've managed to cram
in at least two novelets.
“It gives you quite a jolt.” — it gets downright brutal.” TRANSSTAR, by Raymond E. Banks, is the story of the war that no one
It did. “It’s the only way,” the doctor dares fight — and the man whose duty lies in preventing that war by —
And it had before, thought Coop- declared. ‘We’d not have any ,
forgetting where his duty stops!
er, every time before. He should spacemen if they weren’t always
j
A name new to our pages is William W. Stuart, but it won't be new
be used to it by now. going home.” for long. You'll agree when you read his brilliant novelet, INSIDE JOHN

He sat weakly in the chair, wait- “That’s right,” the captain said. BARTH. Barth has always dreamed of seeing a Garden of Eden —
and dis-
“No man, myself included, could covers that he would rather see than be one!
ing for the weakness and the shock
Short stories? Of course. Edgar Pangborn for sure, after too long an
to pass, and he saw the doctor, there face that kind of beating unless it
I

absence since his magnificent Angel's Egg and The Music Master of Babylon,
behind his desk, watching them
and waiting for them to come
was for something more than
money.”
;

plus others, as many as we can fit in —


along with Willy Ley's always enjoy-
able column and our regular features.
aroimd to normal. Cooper looked out the window A fine issue. Don't skip it.

42 GALAXY CONDITION OF EMPLOYMENT 43


slender hold he had been keeping
^th the Utilities Commission
while they examine your claim.”
on his temper, and he no longer
“Listen,” Denham said, fumbling cared.“Send your blasted mechanic
I’m asking is around and have the blasted meter
in his pockets,
“all
taken out!”
that you send the meter
reader out
again.” He pulled out a handful of
receipted bills. “Look at these. A GAIN the clerk looked at him.
Electricity in June, $7.45. In July, It was, Denham was pleased
that was — to observe, a look quite different in

The $8.32. In August, $3.30


because Franny and I were on va-
cation. In September, $7.91. And
quality from the ones he had previ-
ously bestowed. It held respect, ad-
miration, awe. “You mean you want
then in October you send in a bill
us to have the electricity diut off?
Airq for $875! It’s not reasonable!”
The clerk opened the book on
the desk in front of him and pointed
Why, sir, nobody ever does that!”
“Well, I do!” Denham said.
at a page. “Section five, paragraph “But — but — how wiH you get

Servttor 10, sub-section 13,” he said wood-


enly. ““lu case of disputed bills,
customers must deposit the amoimt
along without
“That’s my
it?”

problem,”
answered. “I’d rather do without
Denham

in dispute with the—’ power the rest of my life than de-
By MARGARET ST. CLAIR “I tell you, it’s some blasted mis- posit $875 with the Utilities Com-
• • M '

take! Somebody’s mislocated the mission.


decimal point! Where am I to get “Very well, sir.” The clerk’s lips

Anyone should be free to take an $875 to deposit? If you’d send me curved in a faint smile. “Now, if
.”
a bill for $8,750, or $87,500, would form
you’ll just sign this . .

you still expect me to deposit it Outside in the street again, Den-


impossible stand — except that is with die Utilities Commission?” ham felt the beginning of a qualm.
“‘—must deposit the amount in Of course he and Franny would
dispute with an impartial authority, get along all right without power,
where the nuse man does business! in this case the Utilities Commis- the way people used to do. The
sion,’ ”
he continued imperturbably. pioneers hadn’t had electric refrig-
“Tending settlement of the dis- erators. All the same, it might be
Illustrated by WOOD puted claim, such deposits are to rather a nuisance. There was the
draw interest at the rate of 2.2% Halloween dinner they were giving
per annum. In case— ” for the in-laws on Saturday.
“All ri^t!”Denham yelled. Two The thing to do was to buy a
he was ready by now to discern in the

T
clerk in the utility of- people who had been talking to couple of oil lamps, and a little
looked at Denham si-
fice whole utility company.
other clerks at the desk started and kerosene stove for Franny to cook
lently. It was a look which, “If you dispute the amount of
turned around to look at him. “All on. (But what about the food in the
to Denham, seemed haughty, inso- the bill, sir,” the clerk said, “you
right!” He had completely lost the refrigerator, and the hot water sup-
lent and supercilious — qualities he should deposit the sum in question
GALAXY THE AIRY SERVITOR 45
ply? ) Oil lamps wouldn’t be so bad harsh, hoarse voice. “Would you be Trading and Exchange Corpora- that gadget in my apartment, the
for a Halloween party —
appropri- interested in some nuse?” tion. We specialize in selling prod- appliances would still work?” Den-
ate, in a way, to the spirit of the “What?” Denham said, confused, ucts of the future to the present ham asked, grasping at straws.
occasion. “Nuse. The airy servitor. Omnia, day. Nuse is the most popular of
“Even thou^ the electricity is off?”
But Mrs. Murgatroyd found
if cient, omnipotent, invisible. Like them. Why don’t you give us a “Certainly. Much better than
out that he’d had the power shut Prospero’s Ariel. ‘I come / To an. trial? I’m sure you’d be more than ever before. And more than appli-
off deliberately, she’d decide that swer thy best pleasure; be’t to fly, satisfied.” ances. Having nuse in an abode is
it was just another proof of the / To swim, to dive into the fire, to like having a dozen super-efficient
way he mistreated her daughter. ride / On the curl’d clouds. To thy “We get our nuse direct from the servants working for you. Omnipo-
Denham was well aware that his strong bidding task / Ariel and all producer, in 3,000 AJ3., and retail tent, omniscient, invisible. Don’t
mother-in-law considered him a his quality.’ The Tempest, scene 2, it to the present. our items,
Like all think, use nuse.”
heartless, inconsiderate brute. act 1. By Francis Bacon. Don’t it’s top quality. We’d have to ar- “Well . .
.” Denham said.
Franny might tell her mother as think, use nuse.” range a special installation, since
often as she pleased that she loved “The Tempest?” Denham re- today’s abode somewhat more
is A S Denham stopped by at the
her husband and was happy with sponded blankly. complicated than when I come novelty store on his way home,
him Mrs. Murgatroyd would sigh,
:
from, but I can promise you an ade- to pick up the favors and Halloween
close her eyes, shake her head, and ^ ^ HIS sudden excursion into cul- quate supply of nuse within thirty cut-outs Franny had asked him to
I
murmur, “My poor little girl!” It ture from one whom he had minutes after you sign the author- get,he decided against telling her
was a remark that by now almost expected to offer him smuggled ization. All fixed before your wife about the contract he had signed
maddened Denham. He would go Alaskan sealskins, just off the boat gets home.” He got a little dark- for nuse. It was perfectly straight-
to nearly any length to avoid hear- and dirt cheap, bewildered Den- green box out of his waist pocket forward and businesslike, of course,
ing it. For a moment he wondered ham. “Whafre you talking about?” and showed it to Denham. “This is but he had a feeling she might not
whether it wouldn’t be wiser to go “Nuse. I said it was like Pros- the plant.” care for the idea of having her elec-
back to the power compan5^s of- pero’s Ariel. Don’t they teach you Denham touched it gingerly. It tric toaster worked by a trans-
fice and ask to have the power people Bacon in school these days? felt warm and the surface was dimensional neural force that orig-
turned on again. But never mind that, ges — I mean, resilient.“Yes, but what is it? Some inated on the far side of 3,000 a.d.
A man stepped out from a door- sir. That little argument with the kind of power?” He was relieved to find the
way and stood in Denham’s path. power company — you’re going to “More than power. Much, much apartment brightly lighted when
He was a tall, thin man with eye- find it pretty tough getting along more. As to what it is—well, wasn’t he opened the door. That meant,
brows which arched high on his without electricity, you know. Why there a period when your scientists or ought to mean, that the nuse
forehead and then swooped down don’t you try nuse?” were uncertain as to the nature of man had been around and the nuse
suddenly to the bridge of his nose, “You mean you’re selling boot- electricity? We’re in much the was already on the job. Invisible,
and his cheeks were sunken and legged power from some fly-by- same position with regard to nuse. omnipotent, omniscient. Don’t
pale. There was something inde- night company?” Denham asked All we know is that it is a trans- think, use nuse.
finably odd about his clothing. It suspiciously. dimensional neural force. We get it, “Hi, baby,” he greeted his wife.
looked, Denham thought, as if it The stranger hesitated. Then he as I say, from the far side of 3,000 “Have a good day? An5rthing new?”
had been made from a picture by a appeared to make up his mind. “I A.D., but our scientists can only He noticed she was wearing a faint
who had never seen a suit of
tailor can see you’re an intelligent man, speculate on how it actually origi- frown.
clothes. ge — sir” he said. “As a matter of nates.” “Not much,” she answered, “only
“Heigh, gesell,” he said in a fact, I represent the Inter-Era ‘You mean that if I let you put something sort of funny happened,
46 GALAXY THE AIRY SERVITOR 47
Gus. That strawberry mousse you room to dress, he foimd hisbrown
like — I decided to make some for suit laid out neatly on the bed wait-
supper, and I got all the things for ing for him. Memoranda and pa-
it out of the
refrigerator. Then I pers had been transferred into the
decided I’d better comb my hair appropriate pockets. His shoes, too,
in case you got home ^ead of time. were neatly shined.
And when I went back to the There was no use asking Franny
kitchen, there the mousse was in whether die had done it — she was
the refrigerator, already mixed and busy getting dressed herself, and
everything. The dishes were he knew she had not It must be the
washed and put away, too. And I nuse.
don’t remember a single thing
about doing it. Oh, Gus, do you Vl^^EN Denham got home that
’ * he found Franny
suppose there’s anything wrong night, sitting

with my mind?” on Ihe living room floor in tears.


Denham gulped. Apparently the Her suitcase was in front of her,
nuse wasn’t going to confine itself and various items of her trousseau
to small-time stuff like operating lay on the rug aroimd her.
electric toasters and washing ma- “I’m losing my mind,” she qua-
chines. vered when she saw him. “Ever
He comforted his wife by telling since I came home I’ve been doing
her that highly intelligent people things and forgetting about having
not infrequently had these lapses, done them. It’s terrible. I’m g-going
and then, while she was putting to pack up and g-go home to
supper on the table, wandered out Mother. Its not f-f-fair to -you.”
into the hall. After some searching “No, you’re not,” Denham an-
he located the small green box the swered grimly. He sat down on the
nuse man had showed him. It was floor beside her and told her what
low down by the kitchen door. No had happened.
wires went into or came out of it. Franny took his disclosure with
For the second time that day Den- remarkable calm. “Oh, is that it?
ham touched it with his fingertips. Why didn’t you tell me? Say, listen,
This time it was definitely cold. though — it isn’t costing us an awful
The strawberry mousse, for the lot, is it?”

record, reached a new height of fifty a month,” Den-


“Only four
deliciousness. ham answered.
Denham’s shower next morning Franny’s expression grew
was perfert, not, as usual, scalding pleased. “We paid more than that
one minute and freezing the next for electricity and it didn’t do lots

And when he went into the bed- of filings this new stuff does. Gus,
THE AIRY SERVITOR 49
you know what
do?”
I am planning to
Denham (he had to work on
Saturdays) got home and the
“Oh, Gus, don’t look at
that She won’t hurt you. I’ve been
me like Bert said' with deep satisfaction,
you bite!”
“Jeepers, did
“Now, Bert,” Mrs. Murgatroyd
“What?” Denham asked. apartment was shining like a new thinking, and I’m sure the reason
penny, romantic aromas of herbs she and Mother don’t like you bet- and then to Denham, in what
said,
“I’m going to have it clean up
and wine filled the air, and Fraimy ter is that they don’t know you might have been apology, “Bert’s
the whole place tomorrow, new
herself was resplendent in an odd well. If they were in closer contact sense of humor is so keen.”
shelfpaper in the kitchen, windows,
but attractive hair-do. with you, they’d realize how nice Denham went into the bathroom
floorswaxed, everything, and when
“How’d it go?” he asked her. you really are. That’s why I’m put- and dried his collar and his hair.
Mother says, my, but I must get
“Oh, wonderful! At first I thought tingyou between them tonight.” Then he came back and handed
tired working so hard, I’m going
it would make me nervous to be There was a lengthy pause. around glasses of tomato juice. His
to tell her you’ve insisted that I
waited on by something I couldn’t “O.K.,” Denham said at last. own contained something different
have a maid. Then I’m going to
see, but it does it so quick, just like The guests arrived at seven He tasted it cautiously and then
have try a lot of those dishes in
it
have time to Mrs. Murgatroyd, Aunt with enthusiasm. Why had he been
the Wine Cook Book you got me thinking, that I don’t thirty-five.
And awfully im- Agatha, Mr. Murgatroyd (Denham so apprehensive? They certainly
— the ones I never made because get scared. it’s .

— personal. liked his father-in-law whenever understood how to mix drinks in


they s ."Hied too complicated
“A funny thing happened, he remembered him), and Bert, 3,000 A.D. Good old — yes, decid-
and when she mentions those, I’ll
And though, Gus. After I got the stuff Denham’s thirteen-year-old broth- edly — good old nuse! He had
tell her tile maid did that too.
out of the refrigerator for the ga- er-in-law — Denham catalogued been longing for a drink, and here
then I’ll have the nuse give me a
my teau with sherry and cream filling, them miserably while he forced his it was.
facial and a manicure and set
I get so tired of I got to thinking I’d have to watch reluctant face into a genial smile. The dinner, with the nuse im-
hair a new way.
you my weight with all this rich food. He even more pessimistic and
felt obtrusively helping Franny serve,
the way Mother talks about
Then I decided to taste the dessert apprehensive than before. went off well. Even Mrs. Murga-
all tile time. Oh, Gus! Isn’t this lots

to see if it was all right Would you ’Lo, Gussie,” Bert said. He was troyd, who had
plainly been skep-
of fun?”
believe it? The nuse wouldn’t let wearing a cotton T shirt with “Bat tical about Franny’s maid, grew
“Um,” Denham said, starting to
me taste it! It was though just as M^n” written in large black letters mellow by the time the diners
worry because his wife was ac-
much en- there was a wall between me and across the chest. Under the words reached the gateau, and Denham,
cepting nuse with so
thusiasm. the gateau. It made me cross for was tire silhouette of a nasty-look- whose glass had been replenished
His mood of depression persisted a minute, but of course the nuse ing bat. To the lapel of his jacket several, times, felt himself upborne

all next day. Part of it, no doubt,


was right — it’s those little tastes was pinned an improbably red rose. on a monumental euphoria. For a
that put the fat on.” “What do you think of my flower?” small sum, say two or three hun-
could be accounted for by the un-
“ITm,” Denham said uneasily. “Fine,” Denham answered. The dred dollars, he would have risked
attractive prospect of an evening
“Mother called up to say she’s only good quality he had ever been kissing his mother-in-law.
with his in-laws, but there remained
bringing Aunt Agatha,” she said, able to discern in Bert was that the His self-confidence sagged ab-
a residue of depression which Den-
ascribe to sheer watching him warily. boy was a little too old to chew ruptly at Franny’s next remark.
ham later was to
man had “Aunt Agatha!” Denham’s jaw bubble gum. “Very pretty.” “Gus, honey,” she said, “you go get
prescience. If the nuse
dropped in alarm. Mrs. Murga- “Go on, smell it.” the things out of the refrigerator,
been around, he would have ex-
by quoting
probably, was deceptively mild-
troyd’s sister and we’ll play that game — you
pressed it,

Francis Bacon’s immortal Romeo looking, but every bit as tou^ and T TRGED, Denham bent. He was know, the one I read about in the
mean as Mrs. Murgatroyd, and her rewarded by a douche of cold party book. I’m sure Dad and Bert
and Juliet: “Oh, God, I have an
footwork was a lot faster. water in the face. “Did you bite!” will enjoy playing it.”
ill-divining soul!”

50
GALAXY THE AIRY SERVITOR 51
Thou^ Denham rose obediently, screamed piercingly. “Worms!
Fraimy was next. She got wet, never seen a human being drip so
he was feeling sick. He disliked Worms! You’ve filled my lap with
she screeched. But on the third hard.
Mrs. Murgatroyd and the nuse worms!”
try she secured an apple. She “Do you mean to tell me he did
knew it; in the darkness, passing Denham and bit into it. that by himself?” she demanded.
smiled at
her bits of saturated sponge, chunks T was a shriek as demoralizing as Then Bert Denham was con- “And look at those big bumps on
and wet, who
of suet, oysters limp
I a siren’s. Denham jumped. The
scious of keeping a rigid mental his poor head! To think that a
knew what dreadful thing might lights came on. Mrs. Murgatroyd
grip on himself. It occurred to him grown man could be so petty, so
happen to her? He’d have to watch glared at him. There was nothing in
suddenly that he had misinterpret- childish! Just because he played a
his thoughts, watch his thoughts. her lap.
ed the meaning of the slogan, harmless, boyish prank on you with
When he came back from the “You did it!” she said fiercely to
“Don’t think, use nuse.” It didn’t his flower! This has opened my
kitchen, the room was dark. He Denham. “You put worms in my
mean, as one might suppose, that eyes, as if they needed opening, to
gave the parcel to Franny, sitting lap. They wriggled horribly. And
using nuse would relieve one of the sort of man you are. Franny’s
at the end of the table, and she then you took them awsy again.
wear and tear on the brain; it meant infatuated with you, of course; I
You — you — oh, poor Franny, mar-
began the narration. something much less agreeable — only hope that this will help her to
“There was an old witch who ried to aman like you!”
don’t ttunk, you use nuse.
if realize your true character.”
lived in a cellar,” she said impres- Denham had bitten his tongue
Denham writhed helplessly. He
Bert’s narrow back bent over the
sively, “and she did terrible things. so deeply at Mrs. Murgatroyd’s
basin. There was a horrid feeling honestly didn’t think it was his
first shriek that he could hardly
On Halloween I went to visit her,
of tension and oppression in the fault. He hadn’t been thinking
though they told me she was dead. talk, and besides he was conscious
atmosphere. Abruptly he dipped about ansrthing. Over Mrs. Mur-
I tripped over something on the
of a deep bewilderment. Worms?
after an apple which floated near gatroyd’s head he looked at the
floor and picked it up.” Franny
Franny cut across the hubbub.
the edge. others. Mr. Murgatroyd, his fingers
fumbled in the parcel. She lowered “For goodness’ sake;, mother, be
The water in the basin seemed laced together over his stomach,
her voice. “I knew at once that it quiet! Gus didn’t do ansdhing. It
was looking up at the ceiling. Aunt
to recoil from him. Then with a
was a piece of her arm.” was your imagination. Gus, go
just
mighty spla^ it descended on Bert. Agatha, on the other hand, watched
Fanny passed the piece of lamb get the apples and the tub. We’ll
Two of the apples hit him on the the scene detachedly, while a faint
shank to Bert, who yipped. From try another game.”
head. smile played over her lips. Fraimy’s
Bert went to Aunt Agatha, to Mrs. Murgatroyd and her sister
it
This time it took much longer expression was shocked and incred-
Denham, to Mrs. Murgatroyd. — wisely, thought — re-
Denham
to get Mrs. Murgatroyd calmed ulous.
There followed the witch’s teeth, fused to bob for the apples floating
down. “You did it,” die repeated After a moment Denham caught
tongue, stomach, and brain. The in the tub. He
would have liked
Denham. “I saw you his wife’s eyes. She raised her brows
bitterly to
Denham thought appre- to refuse himself, but Franny nod-
eyeballs, with my own eyes.” Denham in a gesture of mute questioning.
hensively, would be the worst. Raw ded at him commandingly. Dumb- Passionately he shook his head, and
couldn’t think of a thing to say that
oysters in the dark — ugh. What ly, still nursing his bitten tongue,
would make any sense. was relieved to get a sickly grin
had possessed Franny to try this he took his place behind Bert. from her in return. At least she
stunt, anyhow? She was a doll, but Mr. Murgatroyd was first. He
hesitated, calculated, and then
I^RS. MURGATROYD ges- realized he hadn’t meant to do
she could exhibit an unbelievable tured toward Bert, who stood whatever the nuse had done.
lack of tact. plunged. To his son-in-law’s sur-
between them dripping vehe- Bert was led off to the bedroom
The eyeballs were not the worst. prise,he came up with a pippin mently. He was wet in the same and returned, somewhat drier,
Before Denham even handed
the firmly between his false teeth. wearing Denham’s new silk dress-
thoroughgoing fashion that a long-
oysters to Mrs. Murgatroyd, she “Nothin’ to it,” he said.
haired dog gets wet; Denham had ing gown. As he passed his host,
52 GALAXY THE AIRY SERVITOR 53
Bert stuck out his tongue and in the proper place. He retired to feel a little soft, Kate,” she said to nuse on its own hook, rained past
thumbed his nose at him. Mrs. his chair with an air of modest Mrs. Murgatroyd. She turned back Denham’s head. Mrs. Murgatroyd
Murgatroyd, seeing her son still competence. to her task. “Yes> a little spongy was on her knees in the comer;
damp, began to talk all over again. Mrs. Murgatroyd must have and soft. Why, what on Earth— oh!” Aunt Agatha was doubled up, with
“For heaven’s sakes, Mother,” been stung by her spouse’s imex- The wall had begun to fall down her arms raised to protect her head.
Franny said, “a little water won’t pected success. At any rate she on her. Neither of them, since Aunt Aga-
hurt Bert. Gus! Will you get the insisted on being blindfolded next, First the wall, then the ceiling. tha’s first astonished exclamation,
donkey out of the closet? We’ll despite Franny’s obvious disincli- Plaster fell in hunks, in chunks, in had uttered a sound, and this si-
play another game.” nation. Denham watched die proc- slabs. Some of it on Aunt
fell lence, in sharp contrast with Fran-
Denham drew his wife aside. ess like a man who, tied helpless Agatha, the rest on Mrs. Murga- ny’s uninhibited shrieks, impressed
“Listen, honey,” he said earnestly, on top of a powder keg, sees the troyd. Denham, though standing Denham as profoundly unnatural.
“do you think it’s safe? We’ve had approach of matches and gasoline. near them, was not touched. The
quite a lot of trouble already, and His mother-in-law groped her falling plaster would have been C UDDENLY the maniacal activ-
if we get blindfolded and try to pin way over to tiie wall. The first tail noisy in itself, but it was accom- ^ ity suspended itself. Objects re-
tails on that thing . Wouldn’t it
. . she pinned to the donkey’s chest, panied by a grinding, rending, turned to their usual places or fell
be better just to sit quietly and talk the second to the nape of its neck. crashing roar like a cyclone break- to the floor. There was an instant of
or watch TV?” The third she attached to the right ing into a lion cage. static, frozen calm. Then the carpet
Franny looked miserable. “I hind leg. Nothing else happened. The floor began to tremble. tore itself loose from its moorings.
know, Gus. I feel just as worried Denham sagged back, almost sick From the fireplace beside Den- With irresistible momentum it ad-
about it as you do. Something must with relief. Whatever had gone ham, an andiron rose into the air vanced on the two cowering wom-
have gone wrong with the nuse wrong with the nuse source in and hurled itself at Mrs. Murga- en. For a moment it reared above
power source in the future. But 3,000 A.D. must have been corrected troyd’s midriff. An ornamental them like a tidal wave; then it
if we don’t play a game or some- again. plate rose dizzily from the dinner broke over their heads.
thing, Mother won’t go home or “The plaster feels a little soft, table. Twice it smacked itself force- With this final burst of energy,
anything — she’ll just stay here and Frances,” Mrs. Murgatroyd said as fullyagainst Mrs. Murgatroyd’s the nuse seemed to have exhausted
complain. I think you’d better go she surrendered the blindfold to broad rear; then it flew over to itself. The carpet collapsed. After

get the donkey game.” Aunt Agatha. “Perhaps your hus- Aunt Agatha and hit her in the a moment Aunt Agatha pushed its
Denham for some reason was band—” she gave Denham a glance face. One of the pair of silver can- stiff bulk aside and looked out. Her
selected to try the tail-pinning first. of pnire cyanide—“could repair it dlesticks from the mantel bran- expression was still invincibly thild,
He made a fool of himself by miss- some time.” dished itself before the nose of but there were bits of plaster in her
ing the donkey completely and “Oh, I will,” Denham babbled. Denham’s mother-in-law as if held hair.
attaching the tails to the plaster of “Yes, certainly. Of course. Oh, yes, in an angry hand. The other plum- Mrs. Murgatroyd wobbled to her
the wall. He was unblindfolded to you bet.” He got out his handker- meted down deliberately on Aimt feet.Her eyes were fixed on Den-
the accompaniment of Bert’s malig- chiefand wiped the sweat from his Agatha’s toes. Franny was scream- ham. Her mouth opened and closed
nantly triumphant howls. brow. When it was perfectly safe ing at the top of her lungs. It was as several times, but no sound came
to do so, he decided, he’d have the if a covey of demented poltergeists out. This uncharacteristic aphasia
A FTER Denham, Franny. She nuse bring him another drink. was holding a convention in the affected him almost more than
did fairly well. Mr. Murga- Aunt Agatha passed her hand room. words would have done. He looked
troyd, to everyone’s surprise but gropingly over the printed figure Articles of futuristic construction, hastilyaround the room in search
his own, got two out of three tails of the donkey. “The plaster does apparently materialized by the of moral support.

54 GALAXY THE AIRY SERVITOR 55


Bert and Franny wore expres- rhENHAM was on his way home
sions suitable to personswho have from the office one evening
just seen a dining room explode.
But Mr. Murgatroyd — Denham
in April when the ntise man stepped
into his path. He looked leaner and MARK YOUR CHOICES
looked at him with amazement less prosperous than when Deiffiam EACH MARK Means
which changed ^arply into out- had seen him half a year before.
Hours of Good Reading Enjoyment
raged comprehension — Mr. Mur- He had the air, somehow, of a cat
5—
gatroyd was a happy man. Beam- which has been chased away from
a lot of garbage cans and will im-
galaxy publishing CO., INC.
ing and complacent, his hands
doubtedly be chased away from
New York 14,
42111—Hudson Street, N.Y.
clasped over his stomach, he re- 12—
garded the devastated scene. His many more. 13— send
Please me post-paid the novels checked below.
15—
eyes lingered on his wife’s bruised “Heigh, gesell,” he said hoarsely, THE WORLD BELOW by S. Fowler Wright
17— ALIEN by Raymond F. Jones
18—THE
6
person with especial pleasure. “how about buying an ipsissifex? T— FOUR SIDED TRIANGLE by William F. Temple
Better even than nuse, the airy 20—CITY IN THE SEA by Wilson Tucker
So he was the cause of every- 21— HOUSE OF MANY WORLDS by Sam Merwin, Jr.
23— SEEDS OF LIFE by John Taine
thing! No doubt he’d materialized servitor.I hear you’re working 24—
25—
14 PEBBLE IN THE SKY by Isaac Asimov
the worms in his wife’s lap acci- pretty hard these days. Duplicate 27—THREE GO BACK by J. Leslie Mitchell
14—THE WARRIORS OF DAY by James Blisb
28—
dentally, realized that some strange yourself and cut your work load. WELL OF THE WORLDS by Louis Padgett
30—CITY AT WORLD'S END by Edmond Hamilton
power had obeyed him, and gone We guarantee up to ten perfect 31—
is—JACK OF EAGLES by James Blish
32—
on to enjoy it! replic— heigh, wait! What are you 33— BLACK GALAXY by Murray Leinster
34—THE HUMANOIDS by Jack Williamson
35—MURDER IN SPACE by David V. Reed
“Come, Kate,” Aunt Agatha, said, looking at me like that for? Are you
LEST DARKNESS FALL by L. Sprague de Camp
“let us leave this house.” going to hit me too?” 3 THE LAST SPACESHIP by Murray Leinster
24—CHESSBOARD PLANET by Lewis Padgett
And late as it was when they left, “I’m afraid I am,” Denham said, TARNISHED UTOPIA by Malcolm Jameson
DESTINY TIMES THREE by Fritz Leiber
and tired as he was, Denham took and he did. 27 — FEAR by L. Ron Hubbard

a hammer and smashed the nuse.


— MARGARET ST. CLAIR DOUBLE JEOPARDY
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56 GALAXY GALAXY 57
The Lady \Hfho Sailed the Saul
Illustrated by DILLON

was ever uglier, nastier or deadlier


— I but no one knew exactly how it
No iob
happened. Their names were
a story to inspire generations. he story ran—how did the welded to the glittering timeless
but out of it came

BY CORDWAINER SMITH
T story run?
the
Everyone knew
reference to Helen
America and Mr. Gray-no-more,
jewelry of romance. Sometimes
they were compared to Heloise
and Abelard, whose story had been
found among books in a long- Both of them, one must rememi “That’s pianoforming, honey, The child said: “Mama, tell me
buried library. Other ages were to ber,were sailors. gut it was a long time before the now. Whafs ffie story all about?”
compare their life with the weird, people knew how to planoform. At this point the mother became
ugly-lovely story of the Go-Cap- II they could not travel the way very firm and she said: “Honey,
tain Taliano and the Lady Dolores could, so they made great big there are some things that you are
Oh. Che was a child and she waai sails. They made sails so big that not old enou^ to hear yet. But
Out of it all,two things stood ^ playing with a spieltier. She they could them on
not build when you are a big you
girl. I’ll tell

forth — their love and the image got tired of letting it be a chickei^ Earth. They had to hang them out all about them.”
of the great sails, tissue-metal so she reversed it into the fur-bean halfway between Earth and Mars. The mother was an honest wom-
wings with which the bodies of peo- ing position. When she extended And you know, a funny thing hap- an. She reflected a moment, and
ple finally fluttered out among the the ears to the optimum develop pened Did you ever hear about
. . . then she added, “Unless you read
stars. ment, the little animal looked odd the time the world froze?” about it yoiu^elf first.”
Mention him and others knew indeed. A light breeze blew the ani. “No, Mama. What was that story
her.Mention her and they knew mal-toy on its side, but the spiel- about?” Ill
him. He was the first of the in- tiergood-naturedly righted itself “Well, a long time ago, one of
bound sailors, and she was the lady and munched contentedly on the these sails drifted and people tried TTELEN America was to make
-*-*•
who sailed the Soul. carpet. to save it because it took a lot of her place in the history of
It was lucky that people lost The suddenly clapped
little girl work to build it. But the sail was so mankind, but she started badly.
their pictures. The romantic hero her hands and broke forth with the large that it got between Earth and The name itself was a misfortune.
was a very young-looking man, question, “Mama, what’s a sailor?” the sim. And there was no more No one ever knew who her
prematurely old and still quite sick “There used to be sailors, dar- sunshine, just night all the time. father was. The officials agreed to
when the romance came. And ling,a long time ago. They were And it got very cold on Earth. All keep the matter quiet.
Helen America, she was a freak, brave men who took the ships out the atomicpower plants were busy, Her mother was not in doubt.
but a nice one a grim, solemn, sad
: to the stars, the very first ships_feat and the air began to smell fim-
all Her mother was the celebrated
little brunette who had been bom took people away from our sua ny. And the people were worried she-man Mona Muggeridge, a
amid the laughter of humanity. And they had big sails. I don’t and in a few days they pulled the woman who had campaigned a
She was not the tail, confident know how it worked, but somehow sail back out of the way. And the hundred times for the lost cause of
heroine of the actresses who later the light pushed them, and it took sunshine came again.” complete identity of the two sexes.
played her. them a quarter of a life to make a “Mama, were there ever any She had been a feminist beyond all
She was, however, a wonderful girl sailors?” limits, and when Mona Mugger-
single one-way trip. People only
sailor. That much was true. And lived a hundred and sixty years at A
curious expwression crossed idge, the one and only Miss Mug-

with her body and mind she loved over the mother’s face. “There geridge, announced to the press
that time, darling, andit was forty

Mr. Gray-no-more, showing a de- was one. You’ll hear about her that she was going to have a baby,
years each way, but we don’t need
votion which the ages can neither when you are older. Her name was that was first-class news.
sailors any more.”
surpass nor forget. History may “Of course not,” said the child
Helen America and she sailed the Mona Muggeridge went further.
scrape off the patina of their names “We Soul out to the stars. She is the She proclaimed that no woman
can go right away. You’ve
and appearances, but even history taken me to Mars and you’ve taken
only woman that ever did it. And should have consecutive children
that is a wonderful story.” with the same man, that women
can do no more than brighten the me to New Earth too, haven’t yop
love of Helen America and Mr. Mama? And we can go anywhere The mother dabbled at her eyes should be advised to pick different
with a handkerchief. fathers for their children, so as to
Gray-no-more. and it only takes one afternoon."
60 GALAXY THE LADY WHO SAILED THE SOUL 61
diversifyand beautify the race. school children immediately IV Mankind got to know the look
She capped it all by announcing vented a rh3mie: There was a plantigrade
of a sailor.
that she, Miss Muggeridge, had his was the age of sailors. The; walk to the way he put his whole
selected the perfect father and “Helen, Helen, T thousands of photo-reconnais- body on bed, couch or ground.
There was a sharp, stiff, mechani-
would inevitably produce the only Fat and dumb. sance and measuring missiles had
perfect child. Doesn’t know where begun to come back with their har- cal swing to his neck. The man was

Miss Muggeridge, a bony, pom- Her daddy’s from!” vest from the stars. Planet
after neither young nor old. He had been
pous blonde, stated that she would planet swam into the ken of man- awake and conscious for forty
avoid the nonsense of marriage and Helen took all this and perhaj kind. The new worlds became years, thanks to the drug which
family names, and that therefore it was an accident of genetics tha known as the interstellar search made possible a kind of limited
the child, a boy, would be called
if she grew to become a compact lit missiles brought back photographs, awareness. By the time the psy-
John America, and, if a girl, Helen tie person — a deadly serious littii samples of atmosphere, measure- chologists interrogated him, first
America. brunette. Challenged by lessonj ments of gravity, cloud coverage, for the proper authorities of the

Thus it happened that little haunted by publicity, she becami chemical makeup and the like. Instrumentality and later fj>r the
Helen America was born with the careful and reserved about friend Of the very numerous missiles news releases, it was plain enough
correspondents in the press serv- ships, and desperately lonely. which returned from their two- or that he thought the forty years
ices waiting outside the delivery When Helen America was six three-hundred-year voyages, five were about a month. He never vol-
'room. News screens flashed the teen, her mother came to a bai brought back reports of New unteered to sail back, because he

picture of a pretty three-kilogram end. Mona Muggeridge elopa Earth, a planet so much like Terra had actually aged forty years. He
baby. with a man she announced to h itself that it could be settled. was a young man, young in his
That was just the beginning. the perfect husband for the perfed The first sailors had gone out hopes and wishes, but a man who
Mona Muggeridge was belligerent. marriage hitherto overlooked bj almost a hundred years before. had burned up a quarter of a hu-
She insisted, even after the baby mankind. The perfect husband wai They had started with small sails man lifetime in a single agoniz-
had been photographed for the a skilled machine polisher. He al not over two thousand miles ing experience.
thousandth time, that this was the ready had a wife and four children square. Gradually the size of the At this time Helen America
finest child ever born. She pointed He drank beer and his interest it
fails increased. The technique of went to Cambridge. Lady Joan’s
to the child’s perfections. She Miss Muggeridge seems to havi adiabatic packing and the carrying College was the finest woman’s
demonstrated the foolish fand-
all been a mixture of good-naturet of passengers in individual pods college in the Atlantic world. Cam-
ness of a doting mother, but felt comradeship and a sensible aware reduced the damage done to the bridge had reconstructed its proto-
that she, the great crusader, had ness of her motherly bankroll. Thi human cargo. It was great news historic traditions, and the neo-
discovered this fondness for the planetary yacht on which thej when a sailor returned to Earth, a British had recaptured that fine

first time. eloped broke the regulations wifi man born and reared under the edge of engineering which recon-
Helen America was a wonderful off-schedule flight. The bride light of another star. He was a man nected their traditions with the
example of raw human material groom’s wife and children hat who had spent a month of agony earliest antiquity.

triumphing over its tormentors. By alerted police. The result was i and pain, bringing a few sleep- Naturally enough the language
the time she was four years old, she collision with a robot barge whid frozen settlers, guiding the im- was cosmopolite Earth and not ar-
spoke six languages, and was be- left both bodies identifiable. mense light-pushed sailing craft chaic English,, but the students
ginning to decipher some of the old At sixteen Helen was alreadj which had managed the trip in an were proud to live at a recon-
Martian texts. At the age of five famous, and at seventeen alreadj objective-time period of forty structed university very much as
she was sent to school. Her fellow forgotten, and very much alone. years. the archeological evidence showed

62 GAL AX’! THE LADY WHO SAILED THE SOUL 63


Helen refused. The woman did not know.
it have been before the period
to plump. Black-haired, dark-ey Then he refused too, and he was “Do I have to see him?” said
of darkness and troubles came small and slim, she was a genetj too prompt for her liking, Helen.
a little
upon the Earth. demonstration of her unknowj
ghe became curious about him. “No,” said the woman. “The gift
Helen shone a little in this father. Her teachers often fearei Two weeks passed, and in the is unconditional.”
renaissance. her. She was a pale, quiet girl, anj
office of the news service a
treas- Helen laughed, almost grimly.
she always knew her subject.
urer brought two slips of paper to “All right. I’ll take it and say
IVEWS release services watched Her fellow-students had jokt) the director. They were the vouch- thanks. But one picturemaker —
’ Helen in the cruelest possible about her for a few weeks and thei Helen America and Mr. mind you, just one — and I walk
ers for
fashion. revived her name
They most of them had banded togethq Gray-no-more to obtain the utmost out Or I may walk out for no rea-
and the story of her mother. She against the indecency of the press
in preferential luxury at New son at all. Is that all right?”
had put in for six professions, and When a newsframe came out wifl] Madrid. It was.
her last choice was sailor. It hap- something ridiculous about the The treasurer said, “These have Four days later Helen was in
pened that she was the first woman long-dead Mona, the whisper went
been issued and registered as gifts the pleasure world of New Madrid,
to the application —
make first be- through Lady Joan’s,- “Keep Helej
with the Instrumentality, sir. and a master of the dances was
cause she was the only woman away. Those people are at it again,' Should they be canceled?” presenting her to an odd, intense
young enough to qualify who had They protected her, and it wai The executive of the news serv- old man whose hair was black.
also passed the scientific require- only by chance that she saw ha ice had his fill of stories that day, “Junior Scientist Helen Amer-
ments. own face in a newsframe. Then and he felt humane. On an impulse ica — Sailor of the Stars Mr. Gray-
Her picture was beside his on was the face of a man beside her he commanded the treasurer, “Give no-more.”
the screens before they ever met He looked like a little old monkey those tickets to them again. No He looked at them shrewdly and
each other. she thought. Then she read, “per publicity. We’ll keep out of it. If smiled a kindly, experienced smile.
Actually, she was not anything FECT GIRL WANTS TO BE A SAILOR they don’t want us, they don’t have He added the empty phrase of his
like that at all. She had suffered so SHOULD SAILOR HIMSELF DATI to have us. Push it along. That’s profession, “I have had the honor
much her childhood from
in PERFECT GIRL?” Her cheeks burnei all. Go.” and I withdraw.”
“Helen, Helen, fat and dumb” that with old helpless embarrassmeit The tickets went back out to They were alone together on the
she was competitive only on a and rage, but she had grown too ex rielen. She had made the highest edge of the dining room. The sailor
coldly professional basis. She pert at being herself to do wha record ever reported at the uni- looked at her ve^ sharply indeed
hated and loved and missed the she might have done in her teens- versity and she needed a rest. and then said, “Who are you? Are
mother she had lost, and she re- hate the man. She knew it wasn’t When the news service woman you somebody I have already
solved so fiercely not to be like his fault either. It wasn’t even th{ gave her the ticket, she said, “Is met? Should I remember you?
her mother that she became an em- fault of the news services. She hac this a trick?” There are too many people here on
bodied antithesis of Mona. only to be herself, if she could evei it was not, she then
Assured that Earth. What do we do next? What
The mother had been horsy, find out what that really meant asked, “Is that man coming?” are we supposed to do? Would you
blonde, big — the kind of woman She couldn’t say “the sailor”— like to sit down?”
who is a feminist because she is '
I
'
HEIR dates, when they cam( it sounded too much like the way Helen said one “Yes” to all those
not very feminine. Helen never had the properties of a night people had always talked about questions and never dreamed that
thought about her own femininity. mare. A news service notifie( herself — and she honestly didn’t the single yes would be articulated
She just worried about herself. Her Helen that she had been awarded remember his other name at the by hundreds of great actresses,
facewould have been round if it a week's holiday in New Madrid- moment. each one in the actress’s own spe-
had been plump, but she was not with the sailor from the stars.
THE LADY W'HO SAILED THE SOUL '
65
64 GALAXt
Fx
1 f
cial way, across the centuries to understand words, each one of
come. which he could comprehend indi,
They did sit down. vidually but which in sum
How the rest of it happened, amounted to sheer madness. She
neither one was ever quite sure. did not turn away from his look,
odd though it was. Once again, she
^HE had had to quiet him almost had the chance to note the inde-
^ as though he were a hurt per- scribable peculiarity of this man
son in the House of Recovery. She who had managed enormous sails
explained the dishes to him, and out in the blind, empty black be-
when he still could not choose, she tween untwinkling stars.
gave the robot selections for him. He was young as a boy. The hair i

She warned him, kindly enough, which gave him his name was
about manners when he forgot the glossy black. His beard must have i

simple ceremony of eating which been removed pernaanently, be-^


everyone knows, such as standing cause his skin was like that of a
up to unfold the napkin or putting middle-aged woman — well-kept,^
the scraps into the solvent tray and pleasant, but showing the unmis-
the silverware into the transfer. takable wrinkles of age and be-
At last he relaxed and did not traying no sign of normal stubble.
look so old. The had age without experi-i
skin
Momentarily forgetting the ence. The muscles had grown
thousand times she had been asked older, but they did not show how
silly questions herself, she asked the person had grown.
him, “Why did you become a Helen had learned to be an
sailor?” acute observer of people as her
He stared at her in open-eyed mother took up with one fanatic
had spoken
inquiry, as though she after another; she knew that peo-
to him in an unknown language ple carry their secret biographies
and expected a reply. Finally he written in the muscles of their
mumbled the answer, “Are you — faces, and that a stranger passing
you, too — saying that — that I on the street tells us (whether he
shouldn’t have done it?” wishes to or not) all his inmost in-
Her hand went to her mouth in timacies. If we but look sharply
instant apology. “No, no, no. You enough, and in the right light, we
see, I myself have put in to be a know whether fear or hope or
sailor.” amusement has tallied the hours
He
looked at her, his young-old of his days, we divine the sources
eyes open wide. He did not stare, and outcome of his most secret
but merely seemed to be trying to sensuous pleasures, we catch the
66 GALAXY iHE LADY WHO SAILED THE SOUL 67
dim but persistent reflections of you yoiu^elf had put in to be a blackness near to pitch darkness As though waking from a dream,
those other people who have left sailor?” of the tiny cabin. TTie dim dials he looked around the luxurious
the imprints of their personality on Even to herself, her answ had shone like blazing suns upon room, with the gilt-and-enamel ro-
him in turn. sounded silly and girlish. “I’m the his tired retinas before he was able bot-waiters standing aside with
All this was absent from Mr. first woman ever to qualify with to turn hiseyes away. From time negligent elegance. They were de-
Gray-no-more. the necessary scientific subjects to time he had looked out at the signed to be always present and
while still young enough to pass black nothing to see the silhouettes never obtrusive: TTiis was a diffi-
TTE had age but not the stig- the physical ...” of his dials, almost blackness cult esthetic effect to achieve, but
mata of age; he had growth “You must be an unusual girl,” against total blackness, as the miles their designer had achieved it.

without the normal markings of said he mildly. of their sweep sucked up the push The rest of the evening moved
growth; he had lived without living, Helen realized, with a thrill, a of light itself and accelerated him with the inevitability of good
in a time and world in which most sweet and bitterly real hope that' and his frozen cargo at almost im- music. He went with her to the for-
people stayed yoxmg while living this young-old man from the stars' measurable speeds across an ocean ever-lonely beach which the archi-
too much. had never heard of the “perfect of unfathomable silence. Yet what tects of New Madrid had built be-
He was the uttermost opposite child” who had been laughed at in he had done, she had asked to do. side the hotel. They talked a little,
to her mother that Helen had ever the moments of being born, the The stare of eyes
his gray they looked at each other, and they
seen, and with a pang of undi- girl who had all America for a yielded to a smile of his lips. In made love with an affirmative cer-
rected apprehension Helen real- father, who was famous and un- that young-old face, masculine in tainty which seemed outside them-
ized that this man meant a great usual and alone so terribly much structure and feminine in texture, selves.He was very tender, and he
deal to her futme life, whether she so that she could not even imagine the smile had a connotation of tre- did not realize that in a genetically
wished him to or not. She saw in being ordinary, happy, decent, or mendous kindness. She felt singu- sophisticated society, he was the
him a young bachelor, premature- simple. larly much like weeping when she first lover she had ever wanted or
ly old, a man whose love had been She thought to would
herself. It saw him smile in that particular had ever had. (How could the
given to emptiness and horror, not take a wise freak who sails in from way at her. Was that what people daughter of Mona Muggeridge
to the tangible rewards and dis- the stars to overlook who I am, but learned between the stars? To care want a lover or a mate or child?)
appointments of human to him she simply said, “It’s no for other people very much indeed
life. On the next afternoon, she exer-
He had had all space for his mis- use talking about being ‘unusual.’ and to spring upon them only to cised the freedom of her time and
tress, and space had used him I’m tired of this Earth and since love and not to devour? asked him to marry her. They had
harshly. Still young, he was old; al- I don’t have to die to leave it, I
gone back to their private beach,
ready old, he was young. think I would like to sail to the TN a measured voice he said, “I which, through miracles of ultra-
The mixture was one which she stars. I’ve got less to lose than you believe you. You’re the first fine mini-weather adjustment,
knew that she had never seen be- may think .” She was about to
. .
one that I have believed. All these brought a Pol3mesian afternoon to
fore, and which she suspected that tellhim about Mona Muggeridge, people have said that they wanted the high, chilly plateau of central
no one else had ever seen, either. but she stopped in time. to be sailors too, even when they Spain.
He had in the beginning of life the The compassionate gray eyes looked at me. They could not know She asked him, she did, to marry
grief, compassion, and wisdom were upon her, and at this point what it means, but they said it any- her, and he had refused, as tender-
which most people find only at the it was he, not she, who was in con- how, and I hated them for saying ly and as kindly as a boy of twenty
end. trol ofthe situation. She looked at it. You, though — perhaps you will aged sixty can refuse a girl of
It was he who broke the silence. the eyes themselves. They had sail among the stars, but I hope eighteen. She did not press him;
“You did say — didn’t jjou?—that stayed open for forty years, in the that you will not” they continued the love affair.
68 GALAXY THE LADY WHO SAILED THE SOUL 69
And Then she went up
the
They sat on the
artificial
artificial sand of
beach and dabbled
^ RADUALLY he came back to
her. “It’s trite to say, of course,
I
me
never had before.
you-”
it’s given
city,
to an arctic
a pleasure city where such

their toes in the man-warmed but you’re never the same again. “But if—” she started again to carelessnesses are known to hap-
I don’t mean just the obvious phy. argue. pen, and a confidential medical
water of the ocean. Then they lay
sical thing, but — you find your- “No. Don’t spoil it. I’m going service eliminated the unborn
down against an artificial sand
dime which hid New Madrid from self — or maybe you lose yourself. next week to be frozen in my pod child. Then she went back to Cam-

That’s why,” he continued, gestur- to wait the next sail ship. I can’t bridge and confirmed her place as
view.
ing toward New Madrid, out of stand much more of this and I the first woman to sail a ship to
“Tell me,” Helen said, “may I
ask again, why did you become a sight behind the sand dune, “I can’t might weaken. That would be a the stars.

sailor?” stand this. New Earth — well, it’s terrible mistake. But we have this

“Not so easily answered,” he like Earth must have been in the time together now, and we have V
said. “Adventure, maybe, at least old days, I guess. There’s some- our separate lifetimes to remem-
in part. And I wanted to see Earth. thing fresh about it. Here
.”
. . ber in. Don’t think of anything ^1 ''HE Presiding Lord of the In-
“I know,” said Helen America, else. There’s nothing else, nothing strumentality at that time was
Couldn’t afford to come in a pod.
we can do.” a man named Waite. Waite was
Now — well, IVe enough to keep and she did. The slightly decadent,
me my life. I can go
the rest of slightly corrupt, too comfortable air Helen did not tell him — then or not cruel; he had a job that left
of Earth must have had a stifling ever — of the child they would now no room for anything but efficien-
back to New
Earth as a passenger
in a month instead of forty years— effect on the man from beyond the never have. She could have tied cy.

be frozen in no more time than the stars. him to her with it, for he was an His aide said to him, “This girl
wink of an eye, put in my adia- “There,” he said, “you won’t be- honorable man and would have wants to sail a ship to New Earth.
lieve this, but sometimes the married her, had she told him. But Are you going to let her?”
batic pod, linked to the next sail-
ing ship, and wake up home again ocean’s actually too cold to swim Helen, even then in her youth, ‘Why not?” said Waite. “If she
Wehave music that doesn’t wanted him to come to her of his we
fails, will find out something
while some other fool does the in.

sailing.” come from machines, and pleas- own free will. To that marriage eighty years from now, when the
ures that come from inside our own their child would have been an ad- ship comes back. Don’t give fier
Helen nodded. She did not
bodies without being put there. I ditional blessing. any convicts, though. Convicts are
bother to tell him that she knew all
have to get back to New Earth,” he There was the other alternative, too valuable as settlers to be sent
this.
of course. She could have borne on a gamble. Give her fartatics.
“Out where you sail among the said.
the child without naming the Don’t you have twenty or thirty
stars,”she said, “can you tell me— Helen said nothing for a little
on stilling the father. But she was no Mona Mug- thousand who are waiting?”
can you possibly tell me anjrthing while, concentrating
of what it’s like out there?” pain in her heart. “I — I —” she geridge. She knew too well the “Yes, sir, twenty-six thousand
terror and loneliness of being a two hundred. Not counting recent
His face looked inward on his began.
know!” he said, almost sav- Helen America ever to be respon- additions.”
soul and afterward his voice came “I
agely turning on her. “But I can’t sible for creating another. And for “Very well,” said the Lord of the
as from an immense distance.
the course she had laid out, there Instrumentality, “give her the
“There are moments — or is it take you! You’re too young; you’ve
got a life to live and I’ve thrown
was no place for a child. So, at the whole lot of them and assign her
weeks? You can’t really tell in the
end of their time in New Madrid, that new ship. Have we named
sail ship— when it seems — worth away a quarter of mine. No, that’s it?”
she let him say a real good-by. “No, said the aide.
while. You feel — your nerve end- not right. I didn’t throw it away. sir,”

ings reach out imtil they touch the I wouldn’t trade it back because
Wordless and without tears, she “Name it.”
it’s given me something inside that
left. The aide looked blank.
stars. You feel enormous.”
GALAXY THE LADY WHO SAILED THE SOUL 71
70
A contemptuous wise smile “I know. I have read the book,"
a machine.
There is no all-purpose VII
crossed the face of the senior bu- said Helen America. “And I sail computer built that weighs as little
reaucrat He said, “All right, then- the ship with li^t, and if the infra,
as you
do. You go simply because ¥N the preparation area, the
name it the Soul — and let the Soul red touches that sail, I go. If I get you are expendable. Anyone who
^ make-ready was fast but not
fly to the stars. And
Helen let radio interference, I pull the sails goes out to the stars takes one hurried. Twice the technicians
America be an angel if she wants in. And if the sails fail, I wait as i chance in three of never getting urged her to take a holiday before
to. Poor thing, she hasn't had much long as I live.” \
there. But you are not going be- she reported for final training. She
of a life on this Earth, not the way The technician looked a little
'

cause you are a leader. You are did not accept their advice. She
she was bom and brought up. And cross. “There isno call for you to going because you are young, be- wanted to go forth; she knew that
it’s no use to try and reform her, get tragic about it Tragedy is easy cause you qualify intellectually they knew she wanted to leave
to transform her personality, when enough to contrive. And if you and academically — because your Earth forever, and she also knew
it’s a lively, rich personality. It want to be tragic, you can do it nerves are good. You understand they knew she was not merely her
does not do any good. We don’t without destroying thirty thousand that?” mother’s daughter. She was trying,
have to punish her for being her- other people or wasting a large “Yes, sir.” somehow, to be herself. She knew
self. Let her go. Let her have what amount of Earth cargo and ship- “Any questions?” the world did not believe, but the
she wants.” ping. You can drown right here, or “No, sir.” world did not matter.
Waite sat up and stared at his jump into a volcano, or get into an “Furthermore, you are going be- The third time they suggested a
aide and then repeated very firm- accident. Tragedy is not the hard cause you’ll make the trip in forty vacation, the suggestionwas man-
ly: “Let her have what she wants part. The hard is when you
part years. If we send automatic de- datory. She had a gloomy two
— but only if she qualifies.” don’t quite succeedand you have vices and have them manage the months which she ended up enjoy-
to keep on fighting. When you sails, they would get there — pos- ing a little bit on the wonderful
VI must keep going on and on and on sibly. But it would take them a islands of the Hesperides, islands
in the face of really hopeless odds. hundred years or more, and by that which were raised when the weight
TTELEN America did qualify. “Now this is the way the fore- time the adiabatic p)od would have of the earthports caused a new
The doctors and the experts sail works. That sail will be twenty spoiled, most of the human cargo group of small archipelagoes to
tried to warn her against it. thousand miles at the wide part would not be fit for revival, and form below Bermuda.
One technician said: “Don’t you It tapers down and the total length the leakage of heat would be She reported back, fit, healthy,
realize what this is going to mean? will be just imder 80,000 miles. It enough to ruin the entire expedi- and ready to go.
Forty years will pour out of your will be retracted or extended by tion. So remember that the tragedy The was
senior medical officer
life in a single month. You leave small servo-robots. The servo-ro- and the trouble you face is mostly very blunt. “Do you really know
here a girl. You will get there a bots are radio-controlled. You had work. Work, and that’s all it is. what we are going to do to you?
woman of sixty. There will be better use your radio sparingly, be- That is your big job.” We are going to make you live for-
about thirty thousand pods stnmg cause these batteries have to last Helen smiled. She was a short ty years out of your life in one
on sixteen lines behind you, and forty years. They have got to keep girl with rich dark hair, brown month.”
you have the control cabin to
will you alive.” eyes, and very pronounced eye- She nodded, and he went on,
live in. We
will give you as many “Yes, sir,” said Helen America brows, but when Helen smiled she “Now to give you those forty years
robots as you need, probably a very contritely. looked almost like a child again, we’ve got to slow down your bodily
dozen. You will have a main sail “You’ve got to remember what and a rather charming one. She processes. After the sheer bio-
all,
and a foresail and you will have your job is. You’re going because said: “My job is work. I under- logical task of breathing forty
to keep the two of them.” a sailor takes a lot less weight than stand that, sir.” years’ worth of air in one month
72 GALAXY THE LADY WHO SAILED THE SOUL 73
involves a factor of about five hun- tions. You’ll have to watch your these lines have a double connec- IT ELEN interrupted. “You said
dred to one. No lungs could stand lineswith the pods of people and tion. One set of connections runs you were not going to oper-
it.Your body must circulate water. cargo behind you. You’ll have to into the maintenance machine. ate on my head.”
It must take in food. Most of this adjust the sails. If there anybody That will become the logistic sup-
is “Just the needle. That’s the only
is going to be protein. There will And these lines
surviving at your destination point, port for your body. way we can get to the mind. Slow
be some kind of a hydrate. You’ll they will come out and meet you. are the umbilical cord for a human it down enough so that you will
need vitamins. “At least that happens most of being alone among the stars. They have this subjective mind operat-
“Now, what we are going to do the times. are your life. ing at a rate that will make the
is slow the brain down, very much am
“I not going to assiue you they should break or if you
“If forty years pass in a month.” He
indeed, so that the brain will be you will get the ship in, and if they should fall, you might faint for a smiled grimly, but the grimness
working at about that five-hundred- don’t meet you, take an orbit be- year or two. If that happens, your changed to momentary tenderness
to-one ratio. We don’t want you in- yond the furthest planet and either local system takes over: that’s the as he took in her brave, obstinate
capable of working. Somebody has let yourself die or try to save your- pack on your back. stance, her girlish, admirable, piti-
to manage the sails. self.You can’t get thirty thousand “On Earth, it weighs as much as able determination.
“Therefore, if you hesitate or people down on a planet single- you do. You have already been “I won’t argue it,” she said. “This
is as bad — and as good — as a
start to think, a thought or two is handedly. drilled with the model pack. You
going to take several weeks. Mean- “Meanwhile, though, you’ve got know how easy it is to handle in marriage, and the stars are my
while your body can be slowed a real job. We are going to have to space. That’ll keep you going for bridegroom.” The image of the
down some. But the different parts build these controls right into your a subjective period of about two sailor went across her mind, but
can’t be slowed down at the same body. We’ll start by putting valves hours. No one has ever worked out sh^ said nothing of him.
rate. Water, for example, we in your chest arteries. Then we a clock yet that would match the The technician went on, “We
brought down to about eighty to catheter ize you. We are going to human mind, so, instead of giving have already built in psychotic ele-
one, food to about three hundred make an artificial colostomy that you a clock, we are giving you an ments. You’ll have to be insane to
to one. will go forward here, just in front odometer attached to your own manage the sails and to survive ut-
“You won’t have time to drink of your hip joint. Your water intake pulse and we mark it off in grades. terly alone and be out there even
forty years’ worth of water. We has a certain psychological value, If you watch it in terms of ten- a month. And the trouble is, in that
circulate it, get it through, purify so that about one five-himdredth thousands of pulse beats, you may month you are going to know it’s
it,and get it back in your system, of your water we are going to leave get some information out of it. I really forty years. There is not a
unless you break your link-up. you to, drink out of a cup. The rest don’t know what kind of informa- mirror in the place, but you’ll prob-
“So what you face is a month of of it is going to go directly into tion, but you may find it helpful ably find shiny surfaces to look at
being absolutely wide awake, on your blood stream. Again about a somehow.” yourself.
an operating table and being oper- tenth of your food will go that way. Helen nodded. “You will see yourself aging,
ated on without anesthetic, while You understand that?” He looked at her sharply and every time you slow down to look.
doing some of the hardest work “You mean,” said Helen, “I eat then turned back to his tools, pick- I don’t know what the problem is
that mankind has ever found.” one-tenth, and the rest goes in in- ing up a shining needle with a disk going to be on that score. It’s been
travenously?” on the end. bad enough on men.
Tj^HITE of face, she nodded “That’s right,” said the medical “Now, get back to this. We
let’s “Your hair problem is going to
again when he paused, and technician. “We will pump it into have to get right into
are going to be easier than men’s. With the
again he continued. you. The concentrates are there. your mind. That is a chemical sailors we sent out, we simply had
“You’ll have to take observa- The reconstituter is Now
there. too.” to kill all the hair roots. Other-
74 GALAXY THE LADY WHO SAILED THE SOUL 75
wise the men would have been VIII cargo that lay behind the sails. something not far from the speed
swamped own beards. And
in their She could not sit down. of light itself because they moved
a tremendous amoimt of the nu- '
I
''WO weeks was twenty-
later The only way thatshe could be fastwith the one side dulled; the
trient would be wasted if it went one years later by the chron- comfortable was to lean against pods behind, sealed against time
into raising of hair on the face. I ometers in the cabin. Helen turned the instrument panel, her lower and eternity, swam obediently in
think what we will do is inhibit for the ten-thousandth-times-ten- ribs against the panel, her tired an almost perfect weightlessness.
hair on the top of your head. thousand time to scan the sails. forehead against the meters. Her reading had been correct
Whether it comes out the same Her back ached with a violent Once she rested that way and The sail was wrong.
realized that it was two and a half She went back to the emergency
color or not is something you will throb.
find for yourself later. Did you She could feel the steady roar months before she got up. She panel and pressed. Nothing hap-
ever happ>en to meet the sailor who of her heart like a fast vibrator as knew that rest had no meaning, pened.
came in?” it ticked against the time-span of and she could see her face moving,
The doctor knew she had. He her She could look
awareness. a distorted image of her own face ^HE broke out a repair robot
did not know that it was the sailor down at the meter on her wrist and growing old in the reflections from and sent it out to effect re-
from beyond the stars who called see the hands on the dials indicate the glass face of the “apparent pairs, pimching the papers as rapid-
her. tens of thousands of pulses very weight” dial. She could look at her ly as she could, to give instructions.
Helen managed to remain slowly. arms with blurring vision, note the The robot went out and an instant
composed as she smiled at him to She heard the steady whistle of skin tightening, loosening and (three days) later it replied. The
say: “Your technician planted a air her throat as her lungs
in tightening again as changes in tem- panel on the repair robot rang
new scalp. The hair came out black seemed shuddering with sheer peratures affected it. forth, “Does not conform.”

and he got the nickname of Mr. speed. She looked out one more time at She sent a second repair robot.
Gray-no-more.” And she felt the throbbing pain the sails and decided to take in the That had no effect either.

“If you are ready next Tuesday, of a large tube feeding water di- foresail. Wearily she dragged her- She sent a Three
third, the last.

we’ll be ready too. Do you think rectly into her neck. self over the control panel with a bright lights. “Does not conform”
you can possibly make it by then, Her abdomen felt as though servo-robot She selected the right started at her. She moved the
my lady?” someone had built a fire there. The control and opened it for a week servo-robots to the other side of
Helen felt odd seeing this old, evacuation tube operated auto- or so. She waited there, her heart the sails and pulled hard.
serious man refer to her as “lady,” matically, but it burned as if a buzzing, her throat whistling air. The sail was still not at the right
but she knew he was paying respect coal had been held to her skin, and Finally she checked to see if the angle.

to a profession and not just to an a catheter, which connected her control really had been the right She stood there wearied and lost
individual. bladder to another tube, stung as one, pushed again, and nothing in space, and she prayed. She

“Tuesday is time enough.” She savagely as the prod of a scalding- happened. thought she had prayed very fer-
felt complimented that he was old- hot needle. She pushed a third time. There vently and she hoped that she
fashioned enough to know the an- Her head ached and her vision was no response. would get an answer to her prayer.
cientnames of the days of the week blurred. Now she went back to the mas- It did not work out that way.

and to use them. That was a sign But she could still see the in- ter panel, re-read, checked the light She was bewildered, alone.
that he had not only learned the struments and she still could watch direction, found a certain amount There was no sun. There was
essentials at the university but that the sails. Now and then she could of infra-red pressure which she nothing except the tiny cabin and
he had picked up the elegant in- glimpse, faint as a tracery of dust, should have been picking up. The herself, more alone than any wom-

consequentials as well. the immense skein of people and sails had very gradually risen to an had ever been before. She

76 GALAXY THE LADY WHO SAILED THE SOUL 77


sensed the thrill and ripple of her She got down on her knees trail-
ought to have been designed to mal rise and fall of his chest as he
muscles as they went through days ing the abdominal tube and the
shoot through the window without took one breath every hour or so.
of adjustment while her mind no-
feeding tube and the catheter tubes
and the helmet wires, each one run-
hurting it. That’s the way they One part of her mind knew that he
ticed only the matter of minutes. should have done it.” was a hallucination. Another part
She leaned forward, forced herself ning back to the panel. She crawled
She wondered about the matter of her mind believed that he was
underneath the panel for the servo-
not to relax, and finally she remem- for a week or two. real. She was mad, and she was
bered that one of the official busy- robots and she pulled out a written
Just before she fired, she turned. very happy to be mad at this time,
bodies had included a weapon.
manual. She finally found the right
There, next to her, stood her sailor and she let the hallucination give
What she would use a weapon frequency for the weapon’s con-
weapon up and from the stars, Mr. Gray-no-more. her advice. She re-set the gun so
trols. She set the
for, she did not know. He said “It won’t work that way.”
: that it would fire through the cabin
It pointed. It had a range of two
went to the window.
At the last moment she thought,
He stood clear and handsome, wall, and it fired a low charge at
hundred thousand miles. The tar- the way she had seen him in New the repair mechanism out beyond
“Perhaps the fools are going to
get could be selected automati- Madrid. He had no tubes, he did the distorted and immovable sail.
make me shoot the window out. It
cally. not tremble, she could see the nor- The low charge did the trick.
XY
78 THE LADY WHO SAILED THE SOUL 79
a sudden reversal of roles, it was was imchanged, but the spieltier “You remember. Mom—” said
The interferencehad been some-
he who was kneeling beside her bed was very, very old. It had outlived the younger woman, and stopped.
thing beyond all technical antici-
and covering her hands with his all its marvelous tricks of adapta- “Remember what, dear?”
pation. The weapon had cleaned
bility, and for some years had “You told me about Helen
out the forever-unidentifiable ob- tears.
Half-coherently, he babbled at stayed frozen in the role of a yel- America and Mr. Gray-no-more
struction, leaving the servo-robots
her “I ran away from you because
low-haired, blue-eyed girl doll. Out when that was brand-new.”
free to attack their tasks like a tribe :

of maddened ants. They worked I loved you so. I came back here of sentimental sense of the fitness “Yes, darling, maybe I did.”

again. They had had defenses built where you would never follow, or if of things, she had dressed the spiel- “You didn’t tell me everything,”
in against the minor impediments you did follow, you’d still be a tier in a bright blue jumper with said the younger woman accusing-
young woman, and I’d still be too matching panties. The animal
little ly.
of space. All of them scurried and
skipped about old. But you sailed here and you
creprt; on its
softly across the floor “Of course not. You were a
wanted me.” tiny human hands, using knees
its child.”
With a sense of bewilderment
The nurse of New Earth did not for hind feet. The mock-hiunan “But was awful. Those messy
it
close to religion, she perceived the
face looked up blindly and people, and the horrible way
wind of starlight blowing against know about the rules which should
squeaked for milk. sailors lived. I don’t see how you
the immense sails. The sails be applied to sailors from the stars.
Very quietly she went out of the The young mother said, “Mom, idealized it and called it a ro-
snapped into position. She got a
room. But she was a practical you ought to get rid of that thing. mance—”
momentary touch of gravity as she
It’s all used up and it looks hor- “But it was. It is.”
sensed a little weight. The Soul woman. She called a friend of hers
rible with your nice period furni- “Romance, my foot,” said the
was back on her course. at the news service and said: “If
ture.” daughter. “It’s as bad as you and
you get over here fast, you can get
“I thought you loved it,” said the worn-out spieltier.” She pointed
IX the scoop on Helen America and.
Mr. Gray-no-more. They just met the olderwoman. at the tiny, living, aged doll who
like that and fell in love.”
was cute when I was a child,
“It had fallen asleep beside its milk.
ffTT’S a girl,” they said to him
on New Earth. “It’s a girl. The nurse did not know that but I’m not a child any more, and “I think it’s horrible. You ought

She must have been eighteen or they had foresworn a love on Earth. it doesn’t even work.” to get rid of it. And the worlds

The nurse did not know that Helen The spieltier had struggled to its ought to get rid of sailors.”
twenty when she left Earth.”
America had made a lonely trip feet and clutched its mistress’s “Don’t be harsh, darling,” said
Mr. Gray-no-more did not be-
with an icy purpose, and the nurse
ankle. The older woman took it the mother.
lieve it.

did not know that the crazy image


away gently, and put down a sau- “Don’t be a sentimental old
But he went to the hospital and
of Mr. Gray-no-more, the sailor
cer of milk and a cup the size of a slob,” said the daughter.
there in the hospital he saw Helen
thimble. The spieltier tried to “Perhaps we are,” said the
America. himself, had stood beside Helen
courtsey, as it had been motivated mother with a little loving sort of
“Here I am, sailor,” said she. “I twenty years out from nothing-at-
to do at the beginning, slipped, fell, lax^h.
sailed too.” Her face was white as all in the depth and blackness of
space between the stars.
and whimpered. The mother Unobtrusively, she put the
chalk, her expression that of a girl
righted it and the little old animal- sleeping spieltier on a padded chair
of about twenty, body that of a
X toy began dipping milk with its where it would not be stepped on
well-preserved woman of sixty.
thimble and sucking the milk into or hurt.
As for him, he had not changed
its tiny, toothless old mouth. — CORDWAINER SMITH
again, since he had returned home
inside a pod.
T he little girl had grown up,

had married, and now had a


His eyes narrowed, and then, in little girl of her own. The mother

80 GALAXY THE LADY WHO SAILED THE SOUL 81


gj, as a student, apart from offering on Earth was allowed a whole room
jjjai a target for sneering at, was even— except maybe
to themselves,
By JAMESi STAMEltS of mymuscles. I could the Planetary Salvager, and the
jjecause
jjandle the long specimen trailer heads of the Material Recovery
and heave boulders about more subdivisions and top Government
easily than the others. people like that. But David Adam
“Do not sneer at Morris, gentle- Smith had to have a complete des-
ert. He ruled from the Holiday

SOL men. Science tells us brain size


is
related to surface area. You
should expect in Morris a poten-
Probable centers of Reno to the
gambling computers of Las Vegas,
tially great brain therefore ... if where the bubble dancer had come
hJorris were not devoted to ob- from.
structing science, hig, hig, hig.” I put a single grain of sand on
Brilliant?/^ gt^us? Davit The other three, Lee, Burns and the minima plate and stood clear.
Vk m John, were about six feet tall, slim, “Press the blue button. Bums.”
Adam^ljhi^had^e dark haired and handsome. But we Burns wasn’t even listening.

were collecting specimens, not run- “Burns,” I repeated.


of Mr — very limally ning for Miss Earth 2430. My “Hell, Morry, who cares about
extra seven inches in height ex- these damned specimens? How
tends more or less proportionately would you like to be expelled? No
in my reach and thickness of shoul- classification, no chance of a job,

der. Anyway, they were depressed spend the rest of your life in a com-
at being expelled, so I let them sit pulsory Holiday Reservation.”
hree studentarwere ex- noon, Morris, I will give you per- the shade of the trailer while I “How does he get away with it,”

T
in

pelled for sonal tuition in astrophysics . . .


set up the specimen plates and muttered Lee, looking around at
ble dancer^to"^ie^esert beginning with the more compli- power unit, minima stand here, the open desert and the bare hills
Institute, Lee WJjif^^brns Gilbert cated parts of the alphabet, hig, hig, maxima stand there, controls on on the skyline. “Tomorrow we’ll be
and John TJm^. 1^® Director did hig.” the sand beside them. back in a ten-to-a-room bachelor
not likrfany of He liked me, But he owned the Desert In- “I don’t expect you’ve done this tmit in the Nebraska suburbs, with
Morris.lt'wasfe^stooge, his squirm- stitute.He was the only living elementary stuff for a couple of a fine view of continuous rooftops
ing straii was useful for authority on geology, terrestrial or years,” I said. “So don’t walk
. . . to the Gulf, the Atlantic and the
his jok( extraplanetary, and there was a. on the plates and don’t touch the Great Lakes, and the nearest geo-
“We calculus is a method waiting list of students . .
dial or the red and blue buttons.” logical specimen at the bottom of
of meai g uncircular curves,
On their last afternoon, I was “Hell, Morry, we know.” the community hydroponic tanks.
such as bi T barrels but I fear
. . .
sent with the disgraced three on “Okay, okay. Only it’s more And here he is — the only David
Morris has allowed that thought to a specimen-collecting tour of the tricky than it looks.” Adam Smith, the one original —
absorb him, hig, hig, hig, hig.” desert. It was my routine job but a with a desert of his own. It makes
That was one of Professor David real disgrace to them. I often ^HE whole desert belonged to me sick.”
Adam Smith’s favorites. Or: thought the only reason David David Adam Smith, which John Thay shook his head.
“If you will visit me this after- Adam Smith allowed me to stay showed his political pull. Who else “That’s just emotional reaction,

82 GALAXY SOLID SOLUTION 83


Lee. We were all busting ourselves “You do not dislike yourse!
Vtb!
that sn overblown specimen has ventions at the right theatrical mo-
to be admitted, to be one of the se-
lect three hundred. Just because
Professor.”
“I give credit where it is due, 1ft
W
*
yery
ve:
little

weight.
more than its original
The grain of quartz was
ment David Adam Smith was
quite a ham.
we’re being slung out doesn’t mean dear sir.” Lee stopped and contiu.i merely expanded. Its molecular I was not supposed to tell any-
the whole Desert Institute is no ued in his normal voice. “The gild nuclear structure stretched out one how this apparatus worked, but
good. You know perfectly well why trouble is, he does produce the magnified volume of space. It the three of them sitting facing me
in a
he has the place reserved.” stuff. He’s supposed to be a geolo- in the shade were not going any-
^as almost all holes, an open ar-
“I know his excuse. I can just gist, but there hasn’t been an in. rangement of spaces between the where after this. I didn’t think it
see him, flapping his cloak at the vention for the last decade that he force points of its matter; a direct
mattered. If you are not chosen at
Salvagers and croaking, *1 don’t didn’t master-mind.” magnification of the original with- birth for emigration within the Sys-
carewhat you want to do with the “Pity he can’t think of some way any other change. tem, and ifyou also fail at the In-
out
ground, gentlemen. I must have of speeding up the emigration," We used these specimens in the stitute or one of the dormitory-xmi-
open spaces to live in. Am I or am John said. “If only we could leave Desert Institute because everyone versities, you’re just an extra unit
I not the only leading scientist of Earth!” could see the details of the crystal of overpopulation.
importance who has retained his lattice for themselves, instead of
sanity and continued to produce T WALKED over and pressed having to use an electron micro- T THOUGHT I’d give them
discoveries of unique value? Where the blue button myself. scope. It removed the practical dif- something to think about in-
is Firnivale, Williams, Hutk, Marr- The grain of sand on the minima ficulties of the principle of inde- stead of brooding over the bubble
pole, and so on and so on? Lost. plate flicked out of our time-space: terminacy, David Adam Smith dancer and their expulsion.
Missing. Probably in a sodden stu- and reappeared on the maxima said. If light was too coarse to let “Of course it works,” I said. “It’s

por in one of the South American plate ten times larger. I picked it
him see the contents of a nucleus, only Einstein with a twist.”
City-States. I tell you, science can- up and carried it back to the mini.* he was damned well going to bring The them laughed.
three of
not produce anything in labora- ma plate, repeated the process and the nucleus up to a size where he “No, really. You know the clocks
Science must have room to
tories. went on until the grain of quartz could see it. And so he did, even- that go out on every stellar-re-
” was more than four feet long.
breathe!’ tually, with this apparatus. porter and come back to the Insti-
It was a stock student’s speech. “Why don’t you do it in one I was one of the very few stu- tute with dope on the composition
I waited for the other two to jump instead of walking backwards dents ever allowed to touch the ap- of this and that place in the
round it off. and forwards?” John Thay asked paratus, probably because he Galaxy? You were advanced stu-
“And why. Professor Smith,” “Can’t,” I said. “It’s got to be a thought I was too dumb to do any- dents, you must have sent them
said Burns imitating a heavy offi- perfect model of the crystal lattice thing with it. There were several offevery day, well, wasn’t the clock
cial voice,“have you alone retained of quartz. If you calibrate it for too sets but they never left the Insti- always slow when it returned?”
your faculties?” big ajump in size it gets distorted tute. The world was not ready for “Against the dispatching room
“Because, dear sir,” Lee an- No one knows why.” them, he said. clock, of course it was,” John
swered in David Adam Smith’s “You don’t tell us, Morry. Hell, There was quite a lot of stuff that agreed. “And if there was enough
thin voice, “I never admit more the marvel is that it works at alL" David Adam Smith kept to him- spare material left on Earth to send
than three hundred students to the I threw the four-foot-long crystal self in the Institute. Not because people apart from emigrants, a man
Institute. And because apparently over to John and he put it in the the world was unready, but simply would be younger than his twin
I have the only mind capable of trailer, after nearly losing it on the because he didn’t think he would when he returned.”
absorbing the weight of modern slight breeze. It is difficult to dis- get itiaximum applause at that par- “Well,” I said, “that’s what hap-
knowledge without much strain.” believe your eyes and remember ticular time. He only produced in- pens here, except that a specimen
84 GALAXY SOLI D SOLUTION 85
»

of breathing holes of times we’ve watched this fel- “Do you know what you’ve got
goes out off a minima plate and would be full .
. jjgj-

pressing his red and blue but- here,Morry? You have the only
comes back onto the maxima plate “You could take in nutrient] ja

tons, and
dismissed it as elementary mass escape route from E^rth.”
so fast that the time component is through a lattice as big as that It
for beginners.” “You’re euphoricked!”
negligible. All that happens is that would be relatively porous . .” . atuff
They calmed me down and “No, we’re not. Do you know
it gets moved outside the local “. . . molecular pressure ...” !

“. shift that battery and move: apologized for doing a thing like how many habitable planets we’ve
space-time reference. It doesn’t ex- . .

that. Hell, I would have been ex-


listed? Over three hundred and fif-
actly go anywhere, I suppose. But the galvanometer ...”
pelled tooif I had gone back to the ty. We’ve sent stellar-reporters out
instead of consuming less time on “. take out most of the instru.ij
. .

Institutewith one of them missing. and back every day and we know.
this shift out and in again, the time ments and fake up the records from
the previous trip
.” Pavid Adam Smith had a very They’re listed back there at the
stays constant and it reappears oc- . .

elaborate hearing aid, but it never Institute. We can reach them on


cupying more space. And there you “If we weren’t being expelled
enabled him to hear excuses. Stu- the hs^perspace transmitter, you
[

are, with a magnified version of the this evening,” said John. [

dents only on Institute property, knoA^ that. The only things that
original.” They looked at me.
no readmittance for expelled stu- stop a mass emigration are David
There was a silence. “Are you sure about the grass-]
hopper, Morry?” Bums asked. dents — and certainly no expelled Adam Smith, the small size of the
“Have you ever put anything liv-
nodded.
j

students locked up in a lab speci- transmitter and the impossibility of


ing on the plate, Morry?” I
men. building enough ships to carry
I blushed. John had a knack of
HAD
no warning. I had just I they would have
suppose everyone. The alloy supply only
uncovering safely hidden facts.
“Well, I did make a small mis-
1 put a half-inch expanded grain] thought funny to sit in a crystal
it just covers the standard emigra-

on the minima plate, when Lee and make faces at David Adam tion program. But a stellar-reporter
take once. A grasshopper got on the
White walked onto the maxima Smith. They were wild, all three comes back with the data, is re-set
plate when I wasn’t looking. I was
of them, and had been since they and goes out again and comes back
magnifying an alumino-silicate and and Burns pressed the red button
were admitted. I had no desire to again. Don’t you see, Morry?”
a few seconds after I got the speci- There was a flicker and White
be expelled with them. “No,” I said, “I don’t.”
men up to size, the grasshopper ap- appeared, half an inch tall, in the
“You’re not going to be expelled, “Look. If you can use the same
peared in the middle of it. I had to middle of the expanded quartz
Morry. Not if you do as we ask.” ship over and over again, the short-
reverse the specimen back to get crystal on the minima plate. He
was able to move his arms. He “And if you don’t,” Burns said, age of alloys doesn’t matter pro-
it out. Meant picking the crystal off
still rubbing his jaw, “we’ll tell the vided you can build the first ship.”
the plate fast, before the insect seemed to be saying something that,
amused him. I knocked Burns dear Director that you explained “Okay,” I said, “but a stellar-re-
came through,, but I managed it.”
how his specimen collector works.” porter isn’t a ship, unless you’re a
‘Was it hurt?” away from the controls, pressed the .”
“Then you’ll be expelled with us, two foot midget and
“The grasshopper? No. A little blue button, whisked the emprty
. .

Morry.” I stopped.
stunned, maybe. But perfectly crystal off the maxima plate as it

came through and only just got it


“He’s going to get tired of hav- If Lee White could get in and
well.”
and out of the Lee White
way before ing you around to laugh at one day, out of a crystal safely and he —
I went back to the plates
reappeared on the maxima plate,
Morry. Then you’ll be out any- seemed to be unchanged after hav-
started another quartz grain. John,
way.” ing just done so — he could travel
Lee and Burns sat and gabbled to his normal size again.
‘Well, it works,” he said. “No use appealing to him with inside a stellar -reporter with the
each other.
the broad theme, I suppose?” other delicate mechanisms.
“If the crystal lattice was ex- “You crazy?” I yelled at him.
Ilook at John Thay. I had never been promoted to
panded to start with . .
.”
“Just think,” Burns said, sitting
up and holding his jaw. “The num- “What broad theme?” I asked. those classes, but I knew the stel-
“Relative to its size, the crystal
GALAXY SOLID SOLUTION 87
86
r
1 )ar-reporters were baby rockets while. No sense wasting time.”
gouged specimens from the “I think so, too,” I said.
I that
planets they were sent to, meas-
I EFORE we
recorded, and brought them- left the open
I ured,
jelves back on the same tracker
desert, I unpacked the appara-
path. When they were not burned
tus so they could examine it. They
that is. thought they could make sets with-
up in stars,
But if the three of them were out much difficulty. The apparatus
willing to take that chance, I was was largely an electrically inhibited
the way. accelerator, they said.
not going to get in
“I may
not be as bright as you I knew the desert quite well, in-
three,” I said. “But even I can see cluding the areas where the Insti-
you may have something here. If tute radar bovmdary fogged out and

you survive the journey. You don’t where people could crawl in a few
need to threaten me about telling hundred yards without being de-
you how this specimen collector tected.

works. I’ll help anyway.” “That’s all we need,” Bums said.

We prepared the specimens I “If we plant another set of plates


sent out to get, then experimented.
and power controls out there, and
I could not get used to seeing Morry keeps burying prepared
each of them inside an expanded crystals in advance, he can meet
grain of sand, but the pore structure us there, do the conversion and
and the crystal lattice itself seemed bring each of us in in a half-inch
to leave them room to breathe. crystal in his pocket.”
They could even move about, with- “Then what?” I asked.
in small limits. ‘Then you hand us over to little
The crystal had to be expanded Dimples. She’ll get us into the right
it was
up to a reasonable size before stellar-reporters together with a re-
safeto be transmitted into it, for duced set of plates and controls so
an unexpanded quartz crystal that we can reconvert on the
would be immediate suffocation. planet. Wecan travel in the speci-
The force vortices of the quartz men grabber. That will dump us
nuclei, even when expanded, out immediately the stellar-re-
seemed to have no effect on a liv- porter lands.”
ing body. It was a solid solution, I knew little Dimples by sight.
asJohn said. She was a plump redheaded stu-
“The ideal,” he added, “would dent in their class.
be for us to coach Morry up to “You can’t all go,” I said.
the stellar-reporter class levels. But “Why not?”
I think we had better start mean- “Because I can’t leave the Insti-
88 GALAXY SOLID SOLUTION 89
tute grounds. Anyway, where are “Who? Oh, that girl. No, Mot' lar-reporters wiffi as little delay as cried— moistly — all over my arm.
you going to collect the other emi- ris, I sent her away. You’ll have to possible. “Oh, Morry,” she wept “He’s
grants from, once you’re out on a confine yourself to the curricul They were there at the boun- found out.”
habitable planet at the back end I fear,hig,hig,hig.” dary when I drove up the next day. “He,” obviously, was David
of the Galaxy?” That was odd because I thou^ Their converter worked. They Adam Smith.
“He’s right.” I was about the only person in the were embedded neatly in the “How do you know? What did
We talked it out as I drove the Institute who could drive a land, quartz crystals. I took them in, he say?”
trailer back to the Institute. Two vehicle. The roads outside were handed them to Dimples and that “He hasn’t said anything. But I
of them would go immediately, built overand everyone used jets. was that saw one of the emigrants in his pri-
each to a different planet on the But I wouldn’t have put it past him Neither Bums nor his stellar-re- vate lab! I shouldn’t have been
list. They would return to report
to have made the girl walk out o| porter returned. there, and he didn’t know I was.
and be sent out again on the next the desert, or to have sent her ij We never knew what happened. But I saw him with one on his
stellar-reporter collecting data hisown space-glass jet, dependij)| Some of the little rockets did fail. desk.”
from that planet. Meanwhile, tiie on how he assessed her publicity l
Not many. But it was his misfor- “Sure about it?”
thir d would be expelled. He would value. i
tune to be in one that did not come “Absolutely certain. It looked
spend his compulsory Holiday se- I forgot about it while carting back. like one of the men widi a beard we
lecting people for despatch. I would off the specimens. Lee White did return safely, and sent through about a month ago.
meet them at the boundary, con- was sent out again to his chosen Do you remember?”
vert them and carry the crystals
in, for Dimples to insert into the
D imples was pretty, a
Venusian in her plumpnes^
trifle planet
We began to handle crystals
“But how did he get hold of
him?”
stellar-reporters. but very intelligent. We met by regularly. John sent each emigrant “I can’t think. The stellar-re-
They disappeared into the the fountain in one of the smaller with a miniature converter and porters are going off all right. I
metallurgical labs as soon as I courtyards. John Thay, she told controls, which I reduced on the thought they were coming back
pulled up in the main courtyard. me, had volunteered to remain but edge of the desert and handed to empty. I’ve had to let the rest of
The Director missed them by I was to collect the other two from Dimples, who inserted the crystal my class know, so that we could
micromillimeters. the boundary. and the miniature converter into keep the records faked. We
can’t

David Adam Smith was a small ‘They won’t be too heavy win the next stellar-reporter due for accoimt for two hundred stellar- •

man. With his cloak and large they. Morry?” Lee’s planet. He was accumulating reporters all to the same planet,

hearing aid and long thin face, he “Three or four pounds. Living heaps of converters on his planet, Morry, so I had to.”

always made me think of a substance modifies in some way, or but we could not risk leaving an I sent the next bunch of emi-

grounded bird. He came hopping it may be the effect of being in emigrant helpless in his crystal grants back with a mesesage to

over the tiles with short quick solid solution in an expanded lat- when the stellar-reporter dumped John Thay. He came the next after-
it on the far planet. This way they
noon and we met on the edge of
steps, peering at the specimens and tice.”

at me. “But you can take them down rolled out together on arrival. the desert. I explained what had
an inch?” We must have sent out two him- happened.
“Go out again tomorrow,” he to half
snapped. “I want some copper “I hope so.” dred emigrants of all kinds, for John Ts Dimples certain?” he asked.

chloride specimens.” We arranged to meet just be- was sending in a mixed selection to ‘The man had a beard and was
“Would you like me to drive the fore the afternoon session the next give the far planet every chance of still in his crystal, the way we sent
day, so that Lee and Burns would when Dim-
a successful settlement, him off.”
bubble-dancer to transportation?”
I asked. be sent off in the afternoon stel- plesmet me at the foimtain and John shrugged his shoulders.
GALAXt SOLI D SOLUTION 91
90
“Well, Morry, it can’t be helped.
There’s only one course now. We
I gave the crystal to Dimples.
“Meet me here in an hour,” she
w ijeve me, either, until he saw
jiimself. Then he sat down to work
for
John
“These aren’t the ones I sent!”
said.

must get hold of any crystals in the said. F ^rou^ the firing calibrators to find “They’re not?”
hands of David Adam Smith and An hour later, she was back. out where the stellar-reporters had “Not one.”
send them off again — unless you “Here, Morry. This is the power tjeen sent. He waved me away. We looked at the line in silence.
and Dimples and all of us want to sheer from a shovel. There’s one in I went straight to the cellar be- I had gotten used to handling filled
end up in a satellite penitentiary. I every stellar-reporter for cutting neath his private labs and recon- crystals, but the sight of all these
expect he’s preparing a case against rock specimens. John says you can verted John. He stepped off the human beings, miniature and
us now. With his influence he can come up from the cellar with that maxima plate swiftly before the watching us, making waving mo-
make it stick. No doubt about that.” Do you know what he means?” crystal could materialize him. tions so far as they could within the
Illegal emigration, criminal use “Yes. What’s he doing with “Hey,” I said, “you’ve reversed lattice of their crystals — this was
of the Institute property — oh, from you?” it”
unnerving.
that angle there was enough to have “No,” John Thay repeated.
“You’ll see. Just come to our “Naturally. a minor adjust-
It’s
usall put away in space all right. I “These are not ours. But that one
class area tomorrow as if you’re ment in the time-lag. Otherwise
had no doubt that David Adam would always have to be a there is the bubble dancer we were
delivering sp>ecimens. Fhit the crys- there
Smith would do it, too. expelled for bringing here!”
talwith John in it in your pocket second person present before you
and go and report to the Director could get out of a crystal. thinkWe I looked at the little figure, pink
66 TV OW, his weakest point,” John exactly what you found in our area what went wrong with poor
that’s
against the clear quartz.
’ said, “is his vanity. That, as — apart from the crystal, of course. Burns Gilbert. But we’ll never “Who are the others?” I asked.
we know, is immense. Who else You are to release John from that know, I’m afraid. Let’s get on.” John Thay walked briskly down
would run an Institute for three when you get to the cellar, immedi- the line scooping them up.
We set the power cutter to work
hundred students with himself as ately after David Adam Smith goes “Never mind that for a moment,
on the cellar ceiling.
the sole Director? So, if we can ar- hurrying out to see what happened Morry. Just help me collect every
It was only designed to ctit rock
range something to keep him occu- to us.” one of these.”
specimens small enough to be
pied for a day or two, we may be She would not tell me any more brought back in the stellar-report- I grabbed handfuls of crystals
able to break up into his private than that. ers that carried it, but after two from the rack, stuffing them in my
labs through the floor. I know for a
So when I found next morning hours we had a hole right up into pockets, imtil between us we had
fact the walls and ceilings M-e the private labs. every one.
that every stellar-reporter in the
studded with alarms. But we class area was missing and that I lifted John Thay and followed John took a last look to check.
thought of booby-trapping him Dimples and her entire class had him up. Then we dropped through the hole
when we were expelled, and the gone with them, I did not have to in the floor, down into the cellar.
floor seemed the best way in.” act astonished.About a third of the IMPLES was right “I had an elaborate plan in
“And the diversion?” Institute — nearly a hundred stu- There was a long row of crys- mind,” he said to me, as we hurried
“You’d better take me in now in dents — were in that class, doing tals in a nutrient tank against one away. “But this changes everything.
your pocket. I want to have a word nothing else but build a complete wall, arranged so that it could not Is the converter in your truck work-
with Dimples’ class.” catalogue of the stars and their be seen into from the windows. ing?” Weshot out into the court-
He stepped on the maxima plate. planetary systems by means of the About fifty crystals were racked yard.
I converted him down, buried the stellar-reporters. And the whole lot there and each had a six-inch figure a hurry, John, why
“If you’re in

plates as usual and went back to the had gone! in it I walked over to look at them not use the one there in the cellar?”
Institute. David Adam Smith did not be- with John. “Hell, you’re ri^t This has

92 G AL AX SOLID SOLUTION 93
shaken me so much I can hardly “Through that crook’s hearing] ear how grateful she was to
my gration without involving him.”
jji

think. Quickly, let’s get these crys- aid,” said the tattered man on the great bigme, and how that foul old “Why not bring him to justice?”
]

tals reconverted.” cellar floor. “Yes, I did. I could hear had kept her for amusement asked Higgins.
goat
We turned and rushed back to the questions and I told him the
just because she walked into his “Because I doubt if the govern-
we had just left. answers. So did all these others ment would believe their
the cellar office to complain when he fired eyes. You
I grabbed the power controls, here.” have David Adam Smith
^ those nice boys . . built into
John fed the crystals onto the min- “Professor Marrpole, I recog. “He had to, I suppose,” I said. a legend that w^uld be difficult to
ima plate, I pressed the button and nized you from a stereo-record you
"If you saw all these people in break. Also because they would
fielded the staggering human being made on magnetic differentiation crystals.” certainly take the Institute from
off the maxima plate before the
on small planets. Is that how David “Gentlemen, gentlemen,” John anyone else, hold up the experi-
enlarged crystal came following Adam Smith became the world au- roared. “Please!” ments and delay everything. And I
thority when you disappeared?”
through. The crystals I kicked into There was silence. have a lot of friends out there in
“Yes,” the man with the shaggy “Thank you. Which of you space trying to establish a plane-
the corner of the cellar. in
We did not talk, but concen- beard confirmed. “He caught me by fact thought of the stellar-reporters tary colony.”
asking me to stand on a plate for a
trated on this rush conversion. for accumulating data on other Marrpole laughed.
live recording.”
When we had released the last parts of the Galaxy?” “Really,” he said, “we have been
man, there were fifty-three people “I did,” said a tall thin man by providing all the brain power of
in the cellar, including John, my- OHN turned to me.
the door. “Higgins is my name.” this Institute for so long, we may
and the
self bubble dancer, who for “We have here, Morry, a careful
Even I had heard of the astro- as well continue. Speaking for my-
to me and collection of the leading specialists
some reason clung physicist inventor. self,gentlemen, a few years free
in the world. These people are the “Had occurred to you that from any restraint whatever are ex-
kissed me. it

Most of the people were elderly reason for David Adam Smith be- with these crystals and your stellar- actly what I now need. I am in
men. Their clothes were tattered ing able to outthink any fifty men. reporters man could expand through favor.”
and stained by nutrient solution. These are the fifty men he built his the Galaxy?” There was a general mutter of
reputation with!”
Some were threadbare. Many had “No. But now that you raise the agreement.
“I don’t understand why you all
been wearing laboratory coats of point, of course we could!” “Thank you,” John said. “And
ceramic fabric, which had chipped helped him,” I said. “My Morris here, and
friend, I now, if you will follow me, there
and fallen away in patches. “Because he used to oscillate the
and some colleagues have been do- are excellent showers and a whole
They must have been in the crystalswe were in, young man.” ing so privately for some time
.”
. . class of spare rooms.”
crystals for a long time. “But now it’s our turn!” John waited until the excited “You stay with me,” I said to the
Iwatched John bend anxiously “By heaven, wait imtil I meet murmuring died away. bubble-dancer.
over a group of elderly men. that treacherous snake .”
. .
“We thought David Adam Smith I led her through the Institute to
“Doctor Firnivale. Professor “I’m going to sue him for every had discovered us. And that is really the classrooms where Director
Marrpole. Doctor Hutk. And Wil- credit he has!” why we broke into his office and . . . David Adam Smith was still plot-
liams.” “Who would care to join me in
found you all there. But I now ting the courses of the missing stel-
The men we had just released pulling him into small pieces sur-
think he knows nothing about it. lar-reporters. They would be back
nodded in turn. gically?” Subject to your agreement, I sug- soon, but he was never to know
“You, Dr. Firinvale,” John said. The babble in the cellar rose in
gest we should keep him in ignor- that.
“Did you give the advanced geo- volume and intensity. Under it all,
ance, lock him in a quartz crystal I took him from behind and held
physics lectures?” the bubble-dancer was whispering here and continue the private mi- him off the floor by his elbows, then

94
GALAXY SOLID SOLUTION 95
twisted him round in the air so “What are you doing?” asked*
that he could see us both. the bubble-dancer. *
“Yes,” I said. “She’s out And “Look,” I said. “This fella could*
you’re going in.” do it. And someone’s got to take j
He started to scream so I clipped the other lectures. And I’m never
him. going to get to be a qualified pro- B
Then I carried him out to his fessor any other way.” B
made him imlock the
private labs. I “But I thought they said he^
door and unset the alarms, dumped didn’t know an}rthing?” the bubble-
him on the maxima plate of his own dancer asked.
converter and shot him into a spare “He must remember some of it,
enlarged crystal he had on his desk, or I’ll oscillate him at a high fre-

after taking off his hearing aid. He quency.”


didn’t need it. It was only an am- Meanwhile, I thought I’d prac-
plifierso that he could hear the tice laughing, “hig, hig, hig.” But
advice of whoever was in there at the former Director did not seem to
the time. I put him in and clipped find it fimny.
the mike onto my shirt. — JAMES STAMERS ;

BY WILLY LEY
What’s Only Money?
he opinion of a person on

T
much
the value of money de-
pends, as a rule, on how
of it he owns at the
So let’s not waste time with ethics,
moment

morality or financial philosophy. If


I had not just sworn off philosophy,
I would now say that I mean the
actual money which has been with
us for as long as people could
count, and is apparently going to
stay with us for as long as they can
still count.

96
FOR YOUR INFORMATION 97
Although in science fiction trie current;
I By about 700 B.C., gold could be could not do less, so there are
the trip cost an un-
money is mentioned quite often — number of kilowatts and
specified jeparated from silver and the first Hamburg coins (say of about
some writers are realists and as- the payment is made in the shape gold coins came into existence. 1750) of more than 990 purity.
sume that budget fights will also be of a coin which is a storage bat- Since nobody ever threw a gold Aside from these facts, only a
with us for as long as there are tery actually holding that number piece away, die number of coins few oddities can be told. The big-
budgets, which is perhaps forever of kilowatts. from the past that are still aroimd gest gold “coin” ever to exist is
—you rarely hear anjdhing of what Since the future of coinage is so is simply
fantastic (everything the one mentioned in the Bible; it is
kind of money it is. The hero often disputable, let us look at the past gold would buy has been used up, the gold “wedge” or “tongue” of
pays “three credits” or “two stel- and see what has gone before. worn away, decayed or eroded, 50 shekels’ worth. But we don’t
lors” for a meal or something, but I’ll not dwell on weirdies like pay- but the coins remain) and it was know how it looked. The largest
just what does he pay? Does he ments in strings of cowrie shells or no great loss to history to analyze known coin was struck in 1654 by
hand over paper bills or does he the big stone money of the island a few of them. They turned out to order of Shah-Jahan, Mogul Em-
drop coins on the coimter? of Yap but stick to normal coins. be 997 and 998 fine, actually too peror of Hindustan. It was a 200-
I can think of only a few in- high a purity to be practical, for mohur piece with a diameter of
stances where science fiction writ- ¥F you ask anybody which pure gold is a rather soft metal. 5% inches. Eoiowing what a mo-
ers were more specific. When Kim- metals are used for coinage, When it comes to purity, the hur piece is supposed to weigh, its
ball Kinnison loses a “one millo you receive the more or less auto- layman generally flounders a lit- weight figures to more than 70
bet,” he sends a coin halfway tle. He knows that 14-carat gold oimces. We
matic reply “silver and nickel.” If can’t weigh it any
across the Galaxy, being a Lens- you keep quiet, the man will is good gold, and when he looks more because it is lost, but it was
man and, as Galactic Coordinator, somewhat shamefacedly remem- for a stan^, it probably says 14K. lastseen in Patna in 1820 and
presumably entitled to free mail- ber that there are copper coins, But if he should buy a wedding about that time somebody made a
ing privileges. When ring in England, the salesman will
the hero in and everybody knows, naturally, plaster cast which is now in the
Gravy Planet is lost in South that Dad still handled gold coins. say “22 carat, of course,” but the British Museum. The second larg-
America, he feeds plastic coins Actually nickel is a late-comer to stamp inside is likely to read 917. est (not lost) is a Venetian 100-
into a pay telephone — without the coinage picture; it is just about The system here that pure gold
is zecchini piece (undated) with a
getting his coimection.George O. a century old. Before that, the is 24 carat or 1000. Consequent- diameter of 3Va inches, while the
Smith, having invented a duplica- ly, then, gold of 12 carat would be third largest (you can buy one
coinage metals were gold, silver
tor which can duplicate anything, and copper. 500, the other 500-1000th being for about $6000) is a Bohemian
then had to invent something (an The most valuable of them, the usually silver; normally the best 100-ducat piece of 1629 with a
alloy, I think) which could not gold coins, seem to have started
gold used for jewelry is 18 carat diameter of 3 inches.
be duplicated because it would out as electrum coins. Electrum is or 750. But coins nm from 917
blow up if anybody tried to. (British) to 980.
a naturally occurring alloy of gold give you a more tangible
I can think of another example, and “Pure” coins continued to be comparison: the “cartwheel,”
and one might say, as
silver,
this one from foreign science fic- a rule of thumb, that gold con- made though, long after it was the U. S. silver dollar, has a diam-
tion. KurdLasswitz, in his On realized that pure gold was too eter of IV2 inches and an official
taining more than 20 per cent sil-
Two Planets (way back in the ver was electrum. The trouble was,
soft. The Palatinate (in West weight of 412.5 grains. Its true
final decade of thelast century), how much Germany) struck coins from gold weight may be
of course, just silver a 6 grains more or
described how his hero had to pay given lump washed from the Rhine river; they less. The double
of metal contained. eagle, the U. S.
felt that Rheingold must not
for a trip on Mars. The Martians Was it 20 per cent or 30 per cent be $20 piece, has a diameter of slight-
expressed values in terms of elec- or still more? alloyed. The city of Hamburg ly over 1 Vi inch, and the diameter
98 GALAXY for your information 99
of the British 5-pound piece is make it hard was discovered early. most famous is the one which pro- Though bronze has been in use
Copper with 10 to 15 per cent tin duced what is called “Irish gun for a long time on and off, it did
lYs inch.
As for silver, the coinage
it is in it is called bronze; if it has money.” When James II of Eng- not find much favor in the Wes-
metal. Coin catalogues usually 15 to 25 per cent tin in it, it is land fled to Ireland, he gathered tern Hemisphere. The Confedera-
state what metal a coin is: G for called bell metal because it was an army to force his return. The cy struck a Ic bronze coin, but
gold and C but if the
for copper, used for church bells. Brass, how- army wished to be paid. James it was not placed into circulation.
coin is silver, nothing is said. ever, is copper with an admixture took what he could get: bronze The Union struck a 2c bronze
Silver coins, if U. S., also have a and zinc did not become
of zinc, cannon and brass cannon, bell- piece in 1864; it did not live long.
fineness of 900, but this time the known aroimd 1500 A.D., and
until metal bells, and bells of whatever However, Americans can now
even then it was often confused alloy they happened to be. The handle bronze coins without cross-
900 means the silver content; the
mainly copper. The with bismuth. guns and the bells were made into ing the ocean: the Canadian Ic
remainder is

largest silver coin is almost the Many copper coins through the money, the so-called “brass shil- of 1937 and the Mexican 20 cen-
ages contain such comparatively ling” being one of them. The tavos of 1943 are both bronze.
same size as the largest gold coins
— it a 4-thaler piece of Bruns-
is small admixtures of other metals workmanship of this “gun money” In trying to get back to nickel,
wick (1685) with a diameter of them copper coins is
that calling- happens to be excellent, but the I first have to say that there was
3 Vi inches, more than double the (The U. S. Ic piece,
fully justified. composition of any specific coin a wooden nickel, or rather a

diameter of a dollar piece. forexample, is 95 per cent copper couldn’t be more indiscriminate. wooden 5c piece, but it -was local.

Before we proceed to nickel with 5 per cent tin and zinc.) But And this side issue — nickel still

and copper, it must be mentioned bronze coins with 10 to 15 per TT may be mentioned in passing has to wait — brings up the larger

that one country once had plati- cent tin were also common since at this point that British law side issue of which other metals
ancient times. For example, Celtic was peculiar for several centuries. were used for coinage.
num money. In Russia, three plati-

num coins of 3, 6 and 12 ruble coins found in 1948 in England To forge gold or silver coins was Well, a section of ancient India
and dating back to 80 B.C. are punishable by death or deporta- and more recently the Malay
denomination were minted be-
bronze with 10 per cent tin. tion to an outlying colony. Forg- states had lead coins. More recent-
tween 1828 and 1845. Just in
case somebody is curious: they are
Brass coins came much later, ing copper coins, however, was ly, on the Malay peninsula, you

not rare, merely expensive; a fine


but they have a forerunner. One just a misdemeanor. had “money trees” (Fig. 1.) from
specimen of the 3-ruble piece will Roman coin, struck under the Also in passing, the term cart-

aroimd $250. reign of Augustus, was found to wheel, so common for our silver
cost
contain 17.3 per cent zinc - dollar, was originally applied to
Nickel, as I mentioned, is com-
straight “brass” of our terminology. a copper coin, the tuppence of
paratively new on the metallurgi-
But real brass was not developed George III of England which meas-
cal scene. Before it became avail-

able, money smaller in value than imtil nearly 1700 years later. Cor- ured 1% inch in diameter and was

would conveniently be pro- rect— the brass of the Roman coin also very thick. (The Czars of all
silver
vided by copper. Well, it was cop-
must be an accident, made from the Russias beat this later with a
'
copper and zinc ores that occurred copper coin two inches in diam-
per with other things in it and that
in conjunction. eter, but you had to travel to Rus-
has produced a few mysteries. Let
get the terminology Coins which were brass on pur- sia to see it, for Russians who
us first
pose, so to speak, are rather un- could travel abroad would not de-
straight. Fig. 1: Malaccan ''Money Tree" when new.
Copper, when pure, is very soft usual;most of them were due to class themselves by having copper
Brokea-ofiF "change" had center holes for
too. The trick of adding tin to an emergency of some kind. The coins in their purses.) stringing. The metal was pure tin.
GALAXY FOR YOUR INFORMATION 101
100
Jj
which you broke off what you
needed. They were usually tin,
B ut the 1-pfennig piece was
not the first aluminum coin-
started
for
compounding nickel alloys
cheap jewelry and ornamenta-
A German firm
copper and 25 per cent nickel al-
loy in 1855. The United States

sometimes lead. age. The French had announced a tion. was especial- struck their first nickel pieces in
whole set of aluminum coins in ly successful with an alloy which 1865. They were 3 c pieces. The
The ones who went in for new
1906, but then did not issue them. Ihey named Argentan — Latin ar- 5c nickels followed in 1866, slow-
metals for coins were the Ger-
(They have aluminum coins fjsntum is silver; the trade name ly replacing the silver half-dimes.
mans during the first World War.
to now.)The British did make alu- was meant to indicate that it These 3c and 5c pieces had the
The Imperial coinage prior
minum coins in 1908 for British looked like silver but wasn’t — current composition, first used by
1914 consisted of the following:
East Africa, but they were univer- but in other coimtries it was the Belgians, but from 1856 to
1- and 2-pfennig pieces (copper),
sally distrusted. However, the first quickly dubbed “German silver.” 1863 we had what was called
5-, 10- and 25-pfennig pieces
aluminum coin was a Texas local Itscomposition was, and is, 55 per “white cents,” containing 22 per
(nickel), V2 mark, 1-, 3- and
token. It was about the size of a cent copper,25 per cent zinc and cent nickel, otherwise copper.
5-mark coins (silver) plus 10- and
silverquarter — unfortunately I 20 per cent nickel.
20-mark coins (gold).
T IKE
About three months after the
war started a few changes became
only have a photograph which
does not show the denomination
In 1850 the Swiss government
thought that Argentan would be a ^ first
the first

“nickel”
brass coin, the
was also acci-

necessary. The gold and silver The year is clear, though — it was nice metal for small coins since it dental. Numismatists, well ac-
1890. was so hard and durable. But the quainted with a coin struck under
were needed for foreign exchange,
Aluminum and especially alumi- Swiss also wanted to make then- the reign of the Bactrian king
so everything from one mark up
now coins more valuable, so they added Euthydemus II in 235 B.C., no-
became paper. The nickel was num bronze coins are in use

in many and after men-


countries, between 5 and 15 per cent of sil- ticed that it looked different from
needed for steel and the copper
ver, the percentage depending on other ancient coins, and final-
tioning that the state of Saxony all
was needed for driving bands for
issued piorcelain coins in about the face value of the coin. This ly a much damaged piece was sac-
artillery shells. Still, the people
1921 (they did not last long, but happened to produce an alloy that rificed for chemical analysis. To
needed small change, or else the
not because they broke easily; they just could not handle, it was the chemist who performed it, the
very lack of small change would
so hard. The coinage die made
help inflation along. So the 1- they didn’t — inflation soon made result might not have looked too
such a shallow impression that the strange, but the coin experts whis-
pfennig piece reappeared in shiny their denominations ridiculous), I
coin looked as if it had been in tled in surprise.The result: 77.6
aluminum and the 10-pfennig can go on to nickel as the con-
circulation for at least thirty years. copper; 20.0 nickel; 1.0 iron; 0.54
piece in dull zinc. A year or so cluding item. Actually the U. S.
Increasing the pressure broke the cobalt; 0.86 residue.
“nickel” has that name mostly by
later, the 1-pfennig was no longer
courtesy, for official composi- die. No, the mintmaster of king
needed and the 10-pfennig became its
After experimenting for several
tion is 25 per cent nickel and 75
Euthydemus II was not 2090 years
iron.
per cent copper. It is what might
decades, the Swiss decided to use ahead of his time; the mystery
It was the first zinc and the
pure nickel, or almost pure, be- can be explained if we assume that
iron coinage. As for zinc coins,
first
be called nickel bronze.
There is a reason for that which cause somebody named Fleitman the ingots came from China. Mines
Belgium adopted this metal in
1920 for small coins. And the Ger- was first established — rather pain-, found that nickel became tract- in the provinces of Yunan and

— by the Swiss government able with one or two per cent of Szechuan did produce something
fully
mans repeated during the second magnesium added to it. Thus the called pei-tung or ‘Svhite copper,”
World War as occupation money During the early part of the nine-i

when nickel be- Swiss in 1881 made genuine nickel an accidental mixture of nickel
for The Netherlands. Iron was
teenth century,
reasonable coins. Nobody else ever did. The and copper ores.
used for Ic pieces in the United came available in
several manufacturers Belgians started the 75 per cent Well, now for the future.
States in World War II. quantities,
GALAXY FOR YOUR INFORMATION 103
102
What should a one-credit coin swer “Not very much, but what
is: manufactured will depend mostly lipstick foods also live up to their
be like? To begin with, it should there willis be comfortable on the duration of the trip. For or- name — there are foods of a cer-
not be too large, but neither though notloose. A loose garment biting Earth for a day or several, tain consistency which can be
should it be too light, for there is mi^t catch on a switch or some- and even for the ten-day flight shaped into sticks from which one
some reassurance in the heft of thing similar.” around the Moon without landing, can bite off a piece. If you imagine
your change. Of course it must The second question is one I all the food will be carried along. a stick of fairly soft cheese, you
look attractive and not tarnish. can answer only by great good Only when a space mission takes have a rather good idea of one
Naturally it must not show wear. luck (other people have done a at least a month will manufac- type of such lipstick foods.
Since it will be much used in lot of research on it and have just tured food be considered at all, As regards the foods manufac-
vending machines, it must have published some of their findings). and when the duration approaches tured en route, all I could have
some characteristic by which the That part of the letter reads: a full year, the manufactured food said only three years ago was that
machine can test it. Let us say it “Just what are our astronauts go- will outweigh (in the literal sense) the space engineers had certain
must give off a sound of a specific ing to space? I know,
eat in the food that has been taken along. ideas. But now we can be much
note if dropped one centimeter mainly from your book, that the more specific — let’s admit it —
onto a stainless steel bar. It might idea of ultra-concentrated food A S regards the food which is to partly due to research work which
fluoresce imder ultra-violet light pills is an impossibility. But no- be taken along, there are sev- did not have space travel in mind
with a sharply defined specific where, not even in your book, have eral requirements. Of course there at all.
wave length. I found any specific information of must be no dead weight, or as lit- For the last eight years or so, I
It must be such, in short, that just what they will eat.” tle as possible (things must be have been pointing out that oxy-
laws against counterfeiting are un- Yes, Eve, that is not in my book wrapped, after all). Moreover, the gen for breathing does not need
necessary because nobody could — at least not yet — and you are food must resist spoilage, remain to be taken along on long trips,
do it anyhow. And its value must very much yourself in asking that appetizing, be not monotonous because it can be manufactured by
be definite and stable. question. For those who live in and, most important, it must be growing plants. For several rea-
May your grandchildren own cities where Eve Starr’s column something that can be eaten under sons, it was known that the single-
more of them than their helicop- does not appear, I have to explain weightless conditions. The latter celled alga known as CMorella was
ters can carry! that it deals with television and mainly means that it must not be especially good as an oxygen man-
that she is in the habit of poking dry and crunchy, for dry food is ufacturer. All it needed was water
ANY QUESTIONS? a well-manicured finger at pre- almost impossible to eat when (in which it lives), carbon dioxide
cisely the point which the pro- weightless, as I explained in an (produced by the crew members)
Chaw Call ducer, director, actor or script earlier column. and sunlight (available in space
writer had hoped would not be Food manufacturers have started at any time). Now these Chlorel-
TVr Y from some-
first letter is noticed by anybody. research in two directions, the la algae, in producing oxygen, also
body I know personally, a Now,as for the food which will “toothpaste” foods and the “lip- reproduce themselves. Which
fellow writer and good personal be eaten by a space crew, it clear- stick” foods. The formercan be means that after a week you have
friend:syndicated TV
columnist ly falls into two categories: the squeezed into the mouth from a a much larger supply of Chlorella
Eve Starr out in Hollywood. food which is taken along as food, tube. The ideal is that the tube than you had at the outset.
She asks two feminine ques- and the food which is produced itself is edible too. If that cannot Once this was realized, the
tions. Oneeasy to deal with, for
is while under way. be accomplished, it should have questioncame up: ‘What do we
it concerns the clothing that will The ratio between the food that as little mass as possible (thin do with the surplus chlorella?”
be worn in a spaceship. The an- is carried and the food that is plastic tubes would do that). The The answer was: “Eat them, if
104 GALAXY FOR YOUR INFORMATION 105
they are edible.” But as far as 3 Vi oimces) contain more than terpiece: Chlorella ice cream. The nice white fish flesh on a diet of
the vitamin requirements of an ice cream is very nourishing, has
space research was concerned, no algae alone.
additional work was done for a adult per day, except for vitamin a pretty li^t-green color (which, One of the answers to the ques-
while. Now it happens that Jap- C, which is plentiful in fresh living to our mind, is all right for ice tion of what to do with surplus
anese researchers have investi- algae but destroyed in drying. cream but somewhat disturbing in Chlorella is Tilapia, so the astro-

gated the edibility and food value bread) and is vanilla flavored. nauts will probably add fresh fish
of CMorella — but they did not T IKEWISE, the so-called “es- While Japanese scientists were to their “toothpaste” and “lip-
have spaceships in mind; they sential amino acids” are pres- going after Chlorella for direct con- stick” foods. Tilapia, in addition
were just interested in additional ent in fully sufficient quantities, sumption by humans, scientists of to being tasty, has another ad-
food supplies. and there is also enough fat. In the Boeing Aircraft Company fol- mirable characteristic for space
Chlorella, it turned out, was fact, it is quite easy to make lowed a different idea. Is there travel purposes: about eight weeks
simply excellent. To begin with, Chlorella produce more fat than something that lives on Chlorella after it has been hatched, it is
it was Japanese made
edible; the it usually does. The trick is so — or any kind of algae, in case ready to produce offspring.
a Chlorella soup which looks green simple as to be nearly ridiculous: somebody comes up with another I can add one more specific
and pleased their taste. European just prevent the algae from get- alga which is a still better oxygen item, also based on research going
and American researchers ad- ting nitrogen. If they can’t get producer — and which people on at Boeing: mushrooms. They
mitted that it might be nourishing, nitrogen, they cannot produce al- would eat? are a fast-growing kind which can
but said nasty things about the bumin, and after some time they The answer is Tilapia (Fig. 2). be raised on waste matter. Since
“cod liver oil taste.” As a personal cannot reproduce any more be- mushrooms are mostly water, they
might mention that
aside, I I hap- cause there is just that much albu- do not contribute many calories to
pen not to share the wide dislike min available to them. However, the diet. But they do provide
for that taste. I don’t adore it, but while they can no longer split, flavor and a change in the menu.
it doesn’t disturb me. they go on living and produc-
still Well, here is the space dinner:
Leaving the question of taste ing food, but because nitrogen is Fig. 2: Tilapia, of the family Cich/idae, Chlorella soup, boiled fresh Tila-
the fish that will go to Mars.
aside for the moment, the nutri- lacking, the only food they can pia with mushrooms, bread (taken
tional value of Chlorella is most make is fat. Tilapia is a fish, of a size that a along) with fatty Chlorella spread,
unusual. One kilogram of dried Asmentioned, the taste is too
I man can comfortably hold in his Chlorella ice creani dessert.
algae contains5300 calories — or much like cod liver oil to please hand, with the tail hanging out.
Europeans and Americans. For It is a fresh-water fish perfectly
one poimd contains 2410 calories, Jobs lor Space Psychiatrists?
if you prefer the unscientific this reason Madame N. Tamiya adapted to scum-covered tropical
measurements. concocted a few recipes for non- ponds, peaceful,
content if it is ^HE next letter is also from a
Not only is the caloric value Japanese, like white bread with provided with the two necessities lady, Mrs. Toni Pedigo (no
large, dried algae also contain a Chlorella and green noodles with for its life: warm water and plen- address given), who writes that
nice proprartion of the items that Chlorella. But the addition of the ty of little algae to eat. In nature her husband “is going into psy-
make a balanced diet; 40 per cent algae is only about six per cent, (the fish is spreading fast through chiatry and would like to com-
albumin, 20 per cent fat, 30 per of the total weight, not enough the tropics, naturally), it will bine it with space research. In
cent carbohydrates and 10 per for space voyages. probably snap up insects which what way could a psychiatrist
cent mineral salts. As for vitamins, Knowing that the taste is sup- have fallen into the water and eat work in the field of space research
dried algae come through beauti- pressed by the addition of sugar, a worm if it can get one. But it without getting involved, with mili-
fully: a mere 100 grams (about Mme. Tamiya produced her mas- will thrive and grow and make tary service?”
106 GALAXY for your information 107
The joker is in the last six nice fat volume on psychological There Was Darkness aver paratively rare. During the latter
words of that second sentence. research —
but I have the feeling the Whole Land part of the lifetime of Christ, there
Otherwise I am quite sure that a that this field has not been pur- were just two. One was April sev-
good psychiatrist would be wel- sued as assiduously as the mechan- IJEADER P. Christopher Os- enth, 30 A. D.; the other April
comed with open arms (and a ical and physiological
born in Nashville, Tennessee third, 33 A. D. (Julian calendar).
aspects.
steady pay check). Maybe this is given by the nature
— as a result of a private argument Historians are generally in favor
The whole field of space re- of the case: first we had to find
— wrote to ask whether scientists of the later date because an early
search falls into three categories. out what could be done, and then or historians, or both, are in agree- Christian writer stated that the
First, the machinery, rocket what the man (or men) will have ment on the natural cause of the event took place “during the
motors, fuels, fuel pumps, control to endure physically before psy- darkness at the death of Christ, eighteenthyear and seventh month
systems and so on. A fantastic chology could be tackled. which, as the Bible says, lasted of the reign of Imperator Tiberi-
amount of work is being done, and But to do any work here with- “from the sixth to the ninth hour.” us.” That is, from March 17 to

has been done in this field — after out being involved with the mili- Either Mr. Osborn or the man April 16 of the year 33 A.D.
all, what have I been writing about tary services sounds like an im- with whom he argued (the letter Astrondimically speaking, noth-
and revising for the last dozen possible order. It is true that the is by no means specific on that ing out of the ordinary happened

years? Space Agency NASA is a civilian point, possibly by design) “al- on April seventh, 30 A. D. But on
The second item is the physical agency, but NASA does not main- ways” thought that the darkness April third, 33 a. d., there was a
well-being of the pilot, bearable tain factories where big rockets was an eclipse of the Sun, while partial eclipse of the Moon, visible
accelerations, comfortable cabin can be built. NASA goes to Red- the other said it must have been a from Palestine. As seen from Jeru-
temperatures, something to eat. stone Arsenal, or to the Air Force, sandstorm because eclipses of the salem, the Moon rose while in
Here, too, a great deal of work and then to Convair and Martin Sun do not last three hours. partial eclipse a few minutes after
has already been accomplished, and other companies, and tells Half of the argument can be six P.M. From moonrise to the end
mostly by the Department of them what they want next. Since settled in one paragraph: it could of the eclipse took half an hour.

Space Medicine of the U. S. Air NASA also does not maintain a not possibly have been an eclipse It could not have been an
of the Sun. The Crucifixion took
Force. And, as my reply to Eve big proving groimd (their own is eclipse of the Sun.

Starr shows, the food problem is the comparatively small one on place on the last day preceding the For the hours given in the
under concentrated and apparent- Wallop’s Island), the firings have Passover week, and it is clearly Bible, it must have been meteor-

ly successful attack right now. to be done from the Atlantic Mis- stated that the day of that
first ological, most likely a sandstorm.
As for the third item, the men- sile Range at Cape Canaveral week was a Saturday. Since Jew- But on the historically most likely
tal well-being of (run by the Air Force) or from ish holidays begin at sundown, date, there was an eclipse of the
the space pilot,
I find myself somewhat at a loss Vandenberg in California. Passover began Friday night at Moon in the evening — that is,
for words. Indubitably work is go- My opinion, therefore, is this: a ' sundown, so the Crucifixion took during the first hour of the holiday
ing on, but I haven’t read much good psychiatrist will certainly be place in the afternoon of that Fri- week. The possibility of a later
about the psychological end, ex- welcomed and there will be work day. Now at Passover the Moon “condensation” of events certainly
cept occasional papers by Dr. Sieg- for him. Said psychiatrist can con- must be full, hence it is at the does exist.
fried Gerathewohl in the Jorurnal tinue to wear a business suit in- opposite end of its orbit. I can’t help but end this on a

of Aviation Medicine and similar stead of a uniform. But he will be However, there is one more note of personal curiosity. Which
places. involved with the armed services possibility. side am I on, that of Mr. Osborn
I may be completely off-track consciously, subconsciously and in Fridays with Passover begin^ or his opponent?
— tomorrow’s mail may bring a any other way there is. ning in the evening hours are com- — WILLY LEY
108 GALAXY FOR YOUR INFORMATION 109
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don't look now
BY LEONARD RUBIN

Illustrated by WOOD

OU’RE not allowed in skates strapped beneath their


the ambulance,” Miss shoes. Their faces were so utterly
B Knox said. undistinctive as to seem fuzzy.
They were both ts^aical adver- Each carried a large flat briefcase
men, down
tising to the motor- with a coil antenna sticking out.

The Royalty Party wasn't what you would

imagine — it stood for a great deal, but

there was as much it wanted no part of!

112 113
“Watch it!” the attendant ridor — and after them came Dr.
Mr. Barger remained staring at She stalked after him. “No
growled, and they skated aside Gesner, the greatest throat man the doctor through a gray film. examination. Doctor?” she asked,
with a whir. in the country. Miss Knox knew The mutape chattered rapidly. ignoring Brooks’ horrified expres-
Big Carl came driving up the him from his portrait in the Mush- Miss Knox craned her neck, de- sion.

ramp, ducked his head to enter, room. ciphering the punched tape as it “Unnecessary, Nurse.” He
and brought the bed to a stop in Brooks winked her an “At easel” unrolled from the recorder in backed away from her and the
the belly of the ambulance. Miss with a shaggy eyebrow and fol- Brooks’ hands. Sweat popped out door slid open. “I’ve already seen
Knox pressed the button and the lowed the fat man through the on Mr. Barger’s forehead. the X-rays and charts you phoned
door closed in the admen’s faces. crowd. Dr. Gesner went to tiie bed “Help me, damn it,” read Mr. from the ambulance. And the pa-
When Mr. Barger was lowered and sat down. He was Barger’s Barger’s tape. “I know you. You tient cannot open his mouth. His
from the hovering ambulance, his weight, with the same sort of ele- abolished laryngitis; why should it intravenous menu is all here .” . .

swollen, tearful eyes were svm- phantine bones, but he was almost come to me now? I have a right “Yes, Doctor.”
blind. Square hands clenched over two feet shorter. He stared at the to stop misuse of my work and to Three bells sounded in the cor-
and over with pain. Above the nose and cheeks protruding from be free from pain — my patent is ridor. “Calling Dr. Gesner. Emer-

rotors’ rackety-rackety-rack, Miss the bedclothes, and opened a fat vital — from pain. I want to
free gency. Please come to the tele-
Knox shouted soothing things. She black bag. be free . His face turned pink
. .” phone. Emergency. Calling Dr.
.”
didn’t wait for an answer. He was in a new contortion and the hands Gesner . .

the worst case of laryngitis ^e had bell He rolled his eyes at the index
ever known —the only case, real- A rang three times in
the corridor. Five internes
folded over.
“Yes,” Dr. Gesner said as the
chatter stopped. “I know it hurts.”
card in her hand. “You yourself are
to take the shots prescribed for you,
ly, in her professional experience. scurried into the room and stopped
Abolished diseases always came still, watching Dr. Gesner as He smiled gently in the middle of to prevent your catching or carry-
back virulently. though he were a golden calf. On his face. He was writing on an in- ing the disease. In that bed, but for
dex card, but his main effort was the grace of God .” He was cry-
She and the bed sank between each side of the doorway stood . .

white hospital walls and landed a student nurse at attention. devoted to getting up from the ing softly.
in the room with a bump. The Mr. Barger stopped twitching bed with the help of two internes. “Doctor!” said Brooks, and the
waiting attendant walked around and opened one eye wide. His chin “It will hurt this badly for twen- internes and nurses gasped.
the platform, folding the safety lifted, and his other chins came ty-four hours. Then the injection “After all,” said Dr. Gesner, “I
gates. He unhooked the four sufj- out from under the sheet’s folded will have the upper hand.” He did abolish laryngitis.”
port cables, each vanishing out of edge. turned to Brooks. “Please pass the
his grasp like spaghetti slurped One of Dr. Gesner’s hands felt tape around. Doctor. If any stu- 'jVI’ ISS Knox walked back up the
*-*-*^
from a plate. through the black bag. It emerged dents haven’t seen the X-rays yet, drive and struck a cigarette
Just as the ceiling closed over- dragging a mutape by one wire. they’re in my file.” on one of the stone lions. It glowed
head, cutting off sight and soimd Brooks leaned forward and took Mr. Barger’s face grayed a lit- in the dark, but the river breeze
of the whirlybird against the sun. out the rest of the apparatus. tle; the sweat had turned to blew it out before she could draw.
Brooks, the radiologist, came in Shaking the hair off his forehead, patches of crust against his skin. She snorted in annoyance.
through the door, shepherding an he plugged into the bedside com- Dipping cotton in alcohol. Miss Miss Erwin looked up sharply.
entire class of medical students. puter relay and placed the rubber- Knox bathed his forehead. “Is there anywhere where you
Then two nurses seemed to clear rimmed cup against the patient’s “That’s all,” said Dr. Gesner, can still buy matches?” asked Miss
an inoffensive path through the skull, just over the Broca convolu- handing her the card as the stu- Knox.
chemically tainted air of the cor- tion. dents began to vanish. “Not in New York City. Why?”

114 GALAXY DON'T LOOK NOW 115



“We used to just try again when
a cigarette didn’t light Now we
have to throw it away.”
“Come
you
into the light,
frighten us,” said
The man
Boney
Miss Erwin.
appeared, smiling, and
He
legs
glowered at her and walked
away into the dark, his spider
dissolving sooner than ex-
“Everyone knows that,” said
Miss Knox. “What you mean is
that the supra-short wave has an in-
“Of course,” said Miss Erwin. climbed the first stone step. Resting pected. Then he marched back. tense direct effect on matter. It was
“That’s how they train us to be his elbows on the lion and his chin “Sorry,” he said. “Ha. I won’t tell in all the papers.”
right the first time.” in his hand, he looked down on you. I’m going to tell it to the Direc- “Oh, is that so? Is that so? Well,
“Ridiculous. That’s how they them sideways. tor himself.” you listen to me. This isn’t in all

sell more cigarettes.” “Not another new suit,” said “Forget it, Boney. He’d throw the papers.”
“Why, Miss Knox! You sound Miss Knox. you out again. You’d better just tell “All right, go on.” Miss Knox
like Royalty!” us.” struck a cigarette, which blew out
It was an archaic double-
Miss Boiox laughed. “I’m not breasted suit in good condition. His skeleton hand stretched to- She threw it down and succeeded in
ready to join the British Common- Where the jacket hiked up in back, ward the water. “You see that radio lighting another.
wealth yet. No fooling, Hilda, you a wide expanse of extra trouser seat presser?” “You can fool people, also, with
see the Silvertongue cigarette fac- had been folded over and tucked “You mean the new radiocom- the same radio waves,” said Boney.
tory across the river?” beneath the belt pressor on the Silvertongue fac- “You mean hide behind the door
Miss Erwin twisted white-gloved tory?” with a wave compressor and push
“Hundred-fifty-dollar suit,” he
hands in the dark. “Why, no . . .
said.
“Rad/ocompressor. All right. Do chairs around? Like that?”
mmm, smell that spray.” An ocean- “With or without the bottle?”
you ladies know what it does?” “Don’t be silly. Nothing like that.
breathing tugboat passed, its com- “Anything,” Miss Knox said. Dr. Brooks told me today, when I
asked Miss Knox.
plicated silhouette blocking the “Our patient, Mr. Barger, builds was sweeping his private lab in the
“What bottle?” Toadstool, he told me they make
view. “No-oooooo,” the whistle them. He told us all about it the
“The one that bangs on your moment he came. In Greek.” one kind where if you put it on a
blew.
ribs when the breeze blows.”
“Just wait till that tug is gone. “Not — not all about it. I know table, say, no one can see what else
There, Miss Erwin. Do you see
“Now listen here, lady . .
.” He allabout it. I had a big deal going is there. You could put a cat on —
the Silvertongue factory? Just be-
came down the step. — my Armenian partner and me, the table, and anyone would think
fore the Williamsburg Bridge.” “Boney, I’m only kidding. You we were buying up neckties to sell it was just a table with a radio

“Is it the one with the new radio


know that.” in the hospital . .
.”
presser. Until the cat jumped off.

— the radio-thing on top?” “Kidding. Kidding. And here I “What do you know? And will Then you could see it.”

“Radiocompressor. Yes.” was giving you inside information. you stop blowing in my face?” “Can it jump off? asked Miss
“They used to put names on Inside information.” He glowered. Knox.
those factories. All lit up.” “What information?” “I’m sorry, Boney.” “Can it jump off? Did you ever
“Well, ladies —
ladies,” said a Bringing his drawn face so close “Radiocompressors can do things see a cat that couldn’t jump? And
gravel voice beyond the entrance that they could smell the wine, he — any things — without touching. that’snot all—”
lights. “How is life in the Toad- gave both women a look of scorn. Like rolling cigarettes or chopping “Quite a trick,” she said.
stool?” Then he backed away and leaned up tobacco. The radio waves are so “No trick. You could rule the
“Boney!” said Miss Knox. his padded shoulder against the small they — push things.” He world with that, ladies. Think
“The what?” asked Miss Erwin. lion. pushed the air with his left hand. about it. Rule the world. Got a ciga-
“That’s what Dr. Brooks called “Boney, she’s sorry,” said Miss “Not just go through them.” He rette? After all, I always get you

it. Now you tell me what he meant Erwin. wiggled the brittle fingers of his coffee.”
— he wouldn’t say. Toadstool.” “I am not,” said Miss Knox. right. She handed him one.

116 GALAXY DON’T LOOK NOW 117


Miss Erwin stared across the “If you know nothing about it; “No. You’d need flie power of in all directions to form a wave-
hope it isn’t a new kind of
river. “I girlie, let me explain.” He squeezed ten maritime atomic piles in series sphere. Where the two spheres
bomb,” she said. her chin titter. “You saw those just to lift Dr. Gresner to the height overlap, you get your possible in-
Boney pulled out a stick match two men from the Christian E. of-” terference with light”
and struck it on the stone lion. Cup- Lodge Corporation — Silvertongue, “Very funny!” “Frankly, I just don’t imder-
ping his hands around the flame, he that is — who came this afternoon his own square root What stand it”
lit up and walked away. to see Barger? The ones on motor- they can do with that machine is “Any radio waves go out in all
skates?” to disguise an object — say the in- directions to form spheres.” His
66p>UT, Dr. Brooks, when you “They shouldn’t allow those coming leaf tobacco. They can voice had become a mutter. “You
tell Boney things like that,” buzzing things in the hospital. They make it look firm, golden, and so know that.”
saidMiss Knox, “he believes them, make more noise than a whirly- forth. The girls at the sorting tables, “No, I didn’t.”
and he quotes you like mad. Don’t bird.” She backed away, tugging wherever the guided tour happens
you care about your reputation at at the white-coated arm until her to be, will all look like Norma Nor- ¥TE gave a false sigh. ‘Well, take
all?” chip was released. “I mean I saw den. They’ll be dressed as angels an ordinary weak phone
“My dear woman,” Dr. Brooks them yesterday. They tried to get and work in heaven. Then the transmitter very high up in a
replied, “I’ve been interested in in the bird. I don’t know why
they V.I.P.S can tour the girls’ homes whirlybird. That’s the simplest
many things in my years, but get- visit him — he can’t say a word. and dormitories, and instead of a case. You know what sound a
tingmy portrait in the Mushroom Doesn’t he have a family?” dirty slum, they’ll see — they’ll see whirlybird makes, don’t you?”
has never been one of them—” “No, but the Silvertongue men mushrooms, they like.”
if “Of course,” said Miss Knox.
Mr. Barger’s legs spasmed sud- love him like a brother. Barger de- “How is it done?” “What?” Dr. Brooks challenged,
denly and shot straight out, jerking signed their radiocompressor — the “Only Barger Electronics really moving at her. “How does it
the covers from his fat-layered one in all the newspapers. Here, knows,” said Dr. Brooks, “and the sound?”
neck. But the pink shut eyelids you can see it from the window if Christian E. Lodge engineers. It’s “Oh, clatter-clatter chug-chug,”
hadn’t quivered. you—” something to do with compressing she said, moving back.
and, anyway, Boney is right,” “I know. Dr. Brooks.” the wave length to approximate “No. Listen closely and you’ll
Dr. Brooks finished. “Why do you “Do you know what that ma- that of light, SO that images are can- hear any whirlybird — especially
think the Royalties want govern- chine can really do, girlie?” celed out. This leaves a clear field hospital ambulances —
go rackety-
ment control of the whole inven- ‘When I was your age—” Miss for subliminal techniques. If there rackety-rack groiindhog, rackety-
tion?” Knox began. are subvisual images projected on rack groundhog! —
a reminder to
Miss Knox was tucking the “You are. I just look yoimg. That the walls, for instance, that’s what people that they belong on the
covers around his warm, sticky machine can cure and shred tobac- the observers will see inside the ground, one may assume. Picture a
jowls. “But he said you said—” co with supra-short waves on a room.” microphone attached outside the
“I said she said we said.” Brooks polished magnesium bowl, just the “Oh, my God!” exclaimed Miss bird and wired to your transmitter.
grabbed her chin between his way the papers say, but they have Knox. 'Die radio waves go out in all di-
thumb and forefinger. “Did you cheaper ways to process their to- “The only other thing I know rections through the air. Suppose
know that machine on the Silver- bacco. They really use the machine is that it has to be done with in- your air is all of the same density,
tongue roof could get at us inside for guided tours of the factory. Pub- tersecting spheres. The machine and so forth — then all the waves
our own homes?” lic relations.” has two portable secondary trans- peter out at a constant radius and
She shook her head, swinging his “You mean float visitors through mitters — or projectors, or what- form a perfect sphere going
arm from side to side. the air?” ever they call them each emitting — rackety-rackety-rack ground-hog!

118 GALAXY DON’T LOOK NOW 119


“Now compressed waves travel “No, for the crack about my “twitched from side to side. “Now enough to see her white arm re-
a certain number of feet — theo- age.” here you come. A man watching turn. Hunching up around her pil-
retically, the number of foot- Slumping his eyebrows, he went the street from the broken stool at low with the receiver, she croaked,
poimds of work the power input to the door and stepped through the Green Gables twists one of “Hello.”
could perform modified by a con- almost before it could slide open. his cufflinks, or maybe he just “Miss Knox?” A high voice.
stant value called ‘e’ — and at that “Wait!” she commanded in a whistles. This starts the projectors “Boney — it’s Boney—
point they revert to ordinary radio stage whisper. and you become invisible, or very “You have a nerve, Boney, to
waves. This forms a sphere of He appeared, the door sliding blurry, while the subliminal film wake me up at this hour.”
compressed or supra-short waves. back harmlessly against his shoul- gives the cops what they want “This isn’t Boney — it’s Hilda
Do you understand that?” der before it changed direction. Then the whole thing shuts off and Erwin. I’m on emergency duty and
“No,” said Miss Knox. “What’s so terrible?” she asked. the cops can see you again. You’re they’ve brought in Boney. His
“Well, anyway, where two “You talk as though that radio- hustled off to jail and they keep throat is cut—”
spheres overlap, you get the Bar- compressor on the Silvertongue you there — along with other “No! Is he alive?”
ger effect. And they can vary or roof were going to destroy the V enemies — by making a similar “Yes, yes. may never
But he
limit the effect in interesting ways. American home, at the very least.” •visual ‘fix’ on the results in some speak again. He lay there in the
Just move one or both projectors “They don’t justhave to trans- polling place and putting in their street for hoius and hours. Dr.
so that the waves intersect each mit within the factory,” he said. own judge!” Gesner’s internes are here—”
other in different phases—” “Suppose they wanted you ar- “Oh, they’ll probably just use “Oh, not being able to talk
“That’s a fascinating way to rested. Say they didn’t like bru-
^
it for advertising.” would be worse for him than dy-
back me into a corner of the nettes. Well, first they get some i “Sure,” said Brooks. “How ing. I’ll come! I’ll be right there!”
room. Dr. Brooks. Now will you dame to call police and say she’s would you like it if you were Miss Knox dropped the receiver
please let me look at my patient?” going to do a strip in front of the |watching television with your and swung out of bed, feeling in
Mr. Barger’s body convulsed Psychiatric Pavilion wall. Then i roommate, and all of a sudden the darkness for her robe. She
and twitched, and the disordered they go across First Avenue and ]she turned into a giant pack of pulled it on and opened the door,
bedclothes exposed the pink, set up a subliminal movie se- Silvertongue cigarettes?” and found her slippers in the faint
swollen layers of his throat. Only quence of some stripper in action yellow light from the hallway.
the face slept. Miss Knox reduced and focus it on the wall from their Vj^ATER dripped on her palm, As she ran, knotting the belt of
the feed on the water envelope, car. They set up two portable ’ ^ leaving a red stain. A ringing, her robe, she looked up and down
and with her palm brushed drops wave projectors and adjust their ringing, and the whir of motor- the ancient residential corridors
of moisture from the burning, out- phasing to achieve the Barger ef- skates receded down the corridor. for a motorbed. She stumbled
of-focus pink skin. The drops fect in that one place. Then they It rang and rang, her hand sticky against a rotten wood molding.
were sticky and warm. She wiped wait for you to pass that spiot on i'and warm against her cheek. It She pressed the elevator button
her hands on a piece of cotton and your way to church. Very little ^rang. and turned, her loose hair swing-
started to prepare the blood trans- power is required; the actual The telephone. Trying to recap- ing heavily, to face the flat eye of
fusion. radiocompression takes place ture something she had known, a clock. It was five-fifteen.
“Before you get out of here,” across the river.” she let groping fingers stretch to- Overhead, the floor indicator
she said to Dr. Brooks, “let me Brooks raised his pants from ward the instrument. They de- creaked around its dial — seven,
thank you.” the knees and minced across the scended, clenched, lifted. The six, five, four — and the doors
“For the information? You’ll room, exposing curly hair above ringing stopped. opened. There was a motorbed
only forget it” his fallen argylls. His white coat She forced her eyes open far on the elevator.

120 GALAXY DON’T LOOK NOW 121


She stepped inside and pressed bling toys and up and up over the
the button for seven, the lowest rim . .

floor with a bridge to the Mush-


room. The doors shut and the car Q HE approached the great trans-
moved upward. Tripping over the ^ parent dome of the Mushroom
torn linoleum, she managed to fall looking ahead into the sky, as
backward onto the bed’s driving though enemies in immense dis-
seat. She swung her legs aroimd tance were triangulating upon her.
and turned on the switch. An echo of voices rolled out. Far
As the doors opened, she drove across the marble floor, one of
out with a jolt and entered the the emergency rooms had its lights

sparkling newness of a tubular on. The door opened and a tiny


bridge which rose through the figure a motorchair sped out
in
night across First Avenue. The and along the wall, followed by
Mushroom towered overhead, its a line of running dolls in white.
spiral corridors glowing. Night Some of them clustered around
trafficvibrated beneath her as she the man in the chair, waving their
crossed —a crowd of trucks was arms. Thinning like a comet’s tail,
baying north along the hidden cob- the procession vanished down the
blestones, following traffic lights south escalator. The door of the
which jumped from red to green, room slid shut.
one after another, like "'an elec- She hurtled across beneath the
tronic rabbit. The trucks passed stars and drove straight at the
out of sight under their own diesel room, applying brakes sharply
cloud and another pack ap- with a tightening in her stomach
proached in a higher key . . as the door began to open. Her
Then a lurch as towing cables long hair swept forward against
grated and took hold in the curve her cheeks and shoulders. She
of the many-windowed corridor. jarred to a stop inside and rose,
Whining under glass, the motor- refocusing her senses on the en-
bed veered off in a rising circle closed white space.
around the stem of the Mushroom. The bedside table held a pot
Around and around again, faster, of paper geraniums. Something lay
while room numbers flashed red beneath the covers like lumber on
one by one on the silver doors, edge, the angles of knees project-
over the river, over the roof gar- ing sideways. Out of the sheets
den of the Administration wing, stuck part of a thin white drain-
over the river, over the garden, pipe neck and a face like a broken
around and around and out, out — roof shingle, over which the weep-
far out over a city of dark crum- ing Miss Erwin cast her shadow.

122 GALAl^Y DON’T LOOK NOW 123


Brooks sat hunched over the somewhere along his razor edge “As a matter of fact” — his is a bureaucrat How did you your-
stool,fingers buried in his hair. of nightmare. shadow crossed her face as he self react — like a woman, no?”
His lab coat was twisted awry; a “It’s the only likelihood. Well, moved the deceleration lever—“he He her down. They
helped
bare knee protruded between two we can’t do anything for him now, was with me.” walked within a double row of
buttons. and you look a little beat. Come “With you?”. mountain laurels to the coffee ma-
“What happened? asked Miss on. I’ll buy you coffee from the “I was listening to the newscasts chine.
Knox. vending machine on the Adminis- in bed. He came to see me be- “I’d forgotten all about the bath-
“He’s all right,” Miss Erwin tration roof.” cause, as resident radiologist, I’m robe,” she said. “Black for me.”
sobbed at her. “Delinquents—van- Dr. Brooks stood up, lifted Miss the only person who knows any- “One day soon,” he muttered,
dals — they cut his throat by the Knox gently beneath the arms thing at all about electronics. “they’llbuild him a mushroom
river, right in front of the hospital. and sat her on the motorbed, then While we listened, his assistant he’llnever see the end of. Sand-
The mutape says — he didn’t — swung a hairy shin over the driv- with the high voice called him on wich? Anything?”
see their faces.” ing seat. They rolled through the my phone and told him about “No.” She took the warm plastic
“Don’t worry about him,” said doorway. Boney.” cup and sipped. It was bad coffee.
a low muttered voice. “He’s been ‘Who was that big shot in the “How did he react?” Far below, a snort of traffic echoed
conscious. The doctors say he’ll motorchair?” Miss Knox asked. Brooks swung his tiller bar and down First Avenue. “I’ve only
speak, in time.” Dr. Brooks had “Dr. Gesner?” they veered onto the roof of the been here once before. I’m a bit
raised his head and was trying to Dawn had just begun to spread. Administration wing, the door be- lower-echelon for the Administra-
cover himself with the lab coat. They crossed within a widening hind them cutting off all light from tive roof.”
“River rats,” Miss Knox snapped, circle of mushroom-shaped arches inside the Mushroom. They were “Who isn’t?”

peering at Boney’s wasted face. containing which drew


portraits in a formal garden filled with She looked past the white-on-
“What do you mean, in time?” farther away they resembled
until scent, and surrounded by distant red Emergency Exit sign to a
“Two or three weeks. An expert portal guards, and then converged hedges. The few remaining stars wrought-iron gate in the hedge fac-
job of quick surgery, really.” again in full austerity on the oppo- were surprised naked, floating ing the river. “Look, the Silver-
“No! No!” Miss Erwin broke site side of the great dome. above a monstrous concrete bird- tongue factory is all lit up. Every
into a fit of sobbing and blindly “Director himself — they can’t bath. single window on the top floor.”

rearranged the flowers. reach Gesner anyplace,” Brooks “Like a bureaucrat,” he mut- “I should think so. You mean
“Do you mean to say?—” said. tered as they rolled to a stop. you don’t know?”
“Some medical students on a “First he requisitioned flowers. “Know what?”
— “My heavens, the fate of man’s
horror spree. Damned
what did that Washington press
age of
T hey started to
ward from the Mushroom’s
descend in- He’s probably in here somewhere
now, plotting revenge against the grasp on reality is being decided
secretary say? — ‘atomic hyper- edge. Numbers flashed by as they Commissary clerk who issued the tonight! Congress was still in spe-

specialization’! That means young spiraled down faster along the knife they found near Boney. I cial session at five a.m. — still is,

brains growing in channels until self-steering guide rail. Over the know he’d love to see you rushing as far as I know.”

they explode through the wall. river, over the garden. Over the in your bathrobe to other people’s “Session over what? Don’t tell

You remember the physicist who river . . . emergencies.” me the bombs have started.”
killed his colleagues when the She leaned back against the “Disgusting. And they call him “Visual interference by radio
English won the Nobel Prize.” pillows. ‘What was himself doing die Father of the Mushroom. Big wave compression. Yesterday the
“It can’t be,” said Miss Knox. in the hospital at this hour?” she shot.” Royalty called an immediate spe-
She watched the hurt man grimace asked. “Why?” he asked. “After all, he cial session. There is at present no

124 GALAXY DON’T LOOK NOW 125


law to prevent the Christian E. words here in the hospital, which tatives is still far from approach- atomic war going on.” He paused.
Lodge Corporation from buying he will repeat later for the benefit ing a vote. We will tune in debate “Now there has been a lot of
the right to tamper with light of the day shift.” on the Senate floor, being broad- fuss over a steel tower on a fac-
waves in the home, for advertising There was a ringing tone, growl- cast by another network.” tory across the river. I want to
purposes or — God knows what ing in volume like the approach “. . . alleged that Patent Num- make it clear that no advertising
other kinds of control.” of motorskates. ber 90,732,440B has something to gimmicks will change our job here.
“I didn’t know. I was on duty “I told you,” Brooks shouted do with national safety. I assure All hospitals — public, like ours,
with Mr. Barger and then no one over the noise. “His family has you, gentlemen — ladies and gen- or even our esteemed allies, the
told me.” stock in Silvertongue.” tlemen — that American business private hospitals are — bound by
“Barger was against it,” said Dr. “. .been informed tiiat a pur-
. ethics will prevent such dangerous medical and staff ethics to pay no
Brooks. “He sold them the device chase has been completed of full use of technology now as in the official attention to the world of
with a set of conditions on its use, rights to the Barger Radiocom- past, and that any weapons appli- advertising,
but now they’re buying the patent pressor. I warn you that this de- cation will be confined strictly to “I am especially amazed by ru-
outright.” vice will be used indiscriminately that sphere where weapons are mors that Nat
Bonaparte, or
“But — don’t they have to wait against the public interest.” The themselves a safety factor — the ‘Boney,’ who
does clean-up work
for him? Barger Electronics is his voice was strong but unsteady. sphere of national defense against here from time to time, was si-
company.” “Barger engineers have been with- foreign aggressors. lenced because he ‘knew some-
“No. He’s chairman of the drawn. There are no controls—” “It has further been alleged that thing’ about this wonderful adver-
board, but any three or more di- “Too late,” said Brooks. “That’s there is some connection between tising gimmick. Nothing can be
rectors can sell the patent. Once Thorpe of Louisiana.” Patent dumber 90,732,440B and sillier. It just happens that the fel-

it’s sold, there will be nothing Con- “Bear with me now. I do not the hospitalization of Mr. William low left my office shortly before
gress can do.” doubt that visual interference is Barger of Barger Electronics Com- he must have been wounded by
“Why?” asked Miss Knox, star- already being used to disrupt this pany, Incorporated, who is cur- delinquents from the nearby
ing out over the water. Some of session of Congress. Do you
un- rently afflicted with”— the Sena- slums. He was giving me ‘inside
the Silvertongue windows had derstand? I have a blinding head- tor breathed a chuckle — “laryn- information,’ as he called it, about

winked out. The others vanished ache, brought about externally, I gitis. light-ray guns, and mechanical
together, leaving only a pale ver- am quite certain. I can no longer “It has even been supposed by hypnotism, and plots against the
tical row to mark the fire stairs. read the notes in front of me. If certain Senators that the non-fatal patients. These, apparently, are
Three bells sounded. what I say is still sense, I insist I stabbing of Nathan Bonaparte, a the things which Boney ‘knew,’
“Your attention please!” — a want a vote, immediate vote, to part-time employee . . and he has been talking endlessly
piping male voice. make this thing illegal — illegal, Silence. about them since I first came into
Brooks said, “I’ll bet it’s the and let the New York City police “Ladies gentlemen,” the
and office, and presumably before.”

Director himself.” or the Militia or the Army — the voice from within the hospital said, Brooks struck two cigareettes
“In a moment,” shrilled the Army . .
.”
“we will tune in again when the against his pack and handed one
voice,“we will time in the broad- matter brought to a vote. And
is to Miss Knox. Their first puff ob-
cast direct from Washington so TN sudden silence, she climg to now — Dr. Hamilton.” scured his puzzled frown.
that all personnel can hear history Brooks’ sleeve. A long pause filled with buzzing. “This fuss I am talking about,”
in the making. After the congres- “Ladies and gentlemen,” said “People,” said the Director, and continued the Director, “has been
sional vote. Dr. Hamilton, our the piping voice from within the the buzzing ended. “There is no taken as grounds for wild infringe-
director, will honor us with a few hospital, “the House of Represen- war. Let me repeat; there is no ment of any and all regulations by

126 GALAXY DON’T LOOK NOW 127


personnel of this hospital. I want it “Boney is fine, Dr. Brooks,” said when the shift changes. Not be- answer, Mr. Barger stirred feebly,
made perfectly clear that motor- Miss Erwin. “He just went back to fore.” raising his arm.
beds not in official use should be sleep.But Mr. Barger is not feel- “What color socks. Doctor?” “Honey, there isn’t much we
stored in the proper supply rooms, ing well.” “Any color.” can do,” said Dr. Brooks.
according to the chart in the Com- “Is Mr. Barger awake?” “Thanks so much,” said Miss Er- “You’re right.” She glanced
missary office. We are setting up “Oh, no. Doctor, but he was
; win, backing toward the escalator. down and plucked at the bath-
a daily check-in system—” moaning. A sort of breath-moan, Brooks muttered, “The Mush- robe around her smooth lace-bor-
“Lefs get out of here,” said Miss with his eyes still shut. Dr. Feld t room doesn’t suit her looks.” dered throat. “Can’t save the world
Knox. took a mutape and said he wasn’t y “She’s too young,” said Miss in my old nightgown.”
to prevent further misuse of getting regular delirium patterns : Kjiox. “What’s-his-name who de- He took her by the shoulders
this equipment.” at all.” signed it — you know, the one who and bent his head toward the pal-
“Get on the bed,” said Dr. “Has Dr. Gesner been here?” did the museums — was ninety- pitating muscle in her throat.
Brooks. “If they saw you go up to “We’ve tried and tried to reach four.” Leaning back against the edge
Boney, we can’t leave it here.” him, but he left no word with his “He’s still designing,” said of the bed, she held him at arm’s
“Furthermore, any private or office or at home. His nurses are Brooks. length. She wet her lips and said,
unauthorized use of this or other terribly worried about him, and “Can I do an5dhing for you? “Did I tell you Fm supposed to
hospital equipment may be 'pim- his wife — oh. Miss Knox, do you Preferably against regulations.” wear glasses?”
J
ished by immediate dismissal—” suppose he drinks?” Miss Erwin’s '*
She watched him lock the door He sprawled forward into her
Miss Knox took a step toward forehead grew a splotch of pink. •
and close the viewplate, and rum- embrace. Her dark mane tumbled
the motorbed. “I’d like to look in “Oh, I’m sorry. Doctor! I’m ter- mage in the manila folder at the thickly over Mr. Barger. They
I
on Mr. Barger.” ribly upset.” foot of the bed. twisted and pulled each other
“—with particular application to “Go home, Hilda,” said Miss ; “I don’t know whafs wrong down to the floor, freeing loose
the young woman who used a mo- Knox. can handle things — I
“I with these people,” Dr. Brooks strands of hair from the blanket’s
i;

torbed tonight to visit a sick go on in less than an hour, any- - muttered. electricity.
friend.” way. Let’s foul up Hamilton’s ; “What is it?” she asked over his
Miss Knox stood feet apart, schedule.” shoulder. HE opened her eyes and saw a
hands on hips. “The dirty son of “Oh, Miss Knox!” “They’ve gotten their tapes S flat briefcase with a coil an-

a bitch,” she said. “Just one more thing — before crossed! That idiot Feld must tenna sticking out
you go to bed, get a uniform from have had this in his machine when “What’s the matter?” whispered
1%/|' ISS Erwin came running my room and give it to Miss he came. It’s some accident vic- Dr. Brooks.
across theMushroom, white Kelly, to bring with her when she tim’s tape — one hundred per cent “On the bottom of the bed!”
pumps clacketing half off her feet. comes up for day shift. If my unverbalized pain, and the vic- He pressed his cheek to the
“Oh!” she said, and stopped, pant- door is open, close it.”
tim was wide awake when he made floor and examined the under-car-
ing. “Has the world really been “Here’s a key.” Dr. Brooks said. it. It might be Boney’s tape. This riage of Mr. Barger’s motorbed.
taken over by admen?” “Give it to one of the attendants man here has been in coma since “Projector!” He reached in and
Brooks stopped the motorbed. in the dining room. If no one’s eat- this — since yesterday morning, tugged at the object, bracing his
“Just America,” he said, “and only ing breakfast yet, leave it with thank heaven.” other hand against the driveshaft
a few admen.” He helped Miss Old Man Mackey. Say that I “Poor Boney,” said Miss Knox, “Help me, quick!”
Knox down and they all walked want some linens and a suit — adjusting Mr. Barger’s covers and She grasped smooth leather and
toward the emergency rooms. any suit — brought up for me her own loose hair. As though in pulled, her nails making scars, as

128 GALAXY DON’T LOOK NOW 129


he slid under the bed and ham- the chair. Get the mutape on him,
mered with his fist. “It’s hooked as she lowered the cup toward his the covers grasped her wrist . . .
fast!”
on the other way,” she said. He skull. She struggled. Dr. Brooks, at the
She found his black satchel on
pulled, and the briefcase fell heavi- the floor, plugged into the com-
The rubber rim thudded against telephone, contorted his face and

ly to the floor.
empty air, pleating like a horse’s heaved the briefcase against the
puter outlet and spread the ap-
Dr. Brooks rolled to his feet,
muzzle as she pushed. The sleep- wall. It diattered into coilsand
paratus over Mr. Bargee’s bed.
ing Barger face remained a picture smashed tubes and pieces of elec-
kicking the object into the light, She made a trembling fist around
glowing out of reach inches be- tronic chassis like a shower of
and yanked at its buckles and the Broca cup, and watched the
neath her straining fist, behind a silver Christmas ornaments, and
straps. “My bag is somewhere near dormant pink cheeks and eyelids
smell of blood. A hand from imder a moan from the bed faded away.

130 GALAXY
DON’T LOOK NOW 131
^air and placed it on the foot of rounding the figure on the bed.
Brooks shouted and hung up soon as they control the police .• . .
fthe bed. Climbing onto the sway- Behind teem strode rawboned Dr.
the phone. The mutape was chat- Turning under Dr. Brooks’
'ing surface like a trained ape, he Feld in a red hunting jacket A
tering violently. He unlocked the twisted glance as he took the
reached up and loosened the motorchair rolled after him and
door, flung himself to the bed and Broca cup, she went to the sink
^crews which held the light globe stopped in the doorway, and an as-
took the recorder between his and scrubbed her hands. She found
in place on the ceiling, and threw sistant administrator stood up and
hands. The grasp on her wrist re- the hypodermic and phial in the
it to shatter on the floor. Miss piped, “Hold him! He may be
laxed, and she leaned over to de- black satchel and measured two
Erwin stepped backward. Then armed!”
cipher the punched tape as it im- cc of clear tincture of morphine,
she tiptoed toward the light and
rolled from the machine. Its dot and turned back to the arm which
steadied the chair, and stared at VI^ITH tee mutape chattering
patterns were unverbalized bloody
agony, cleanly formulated in com-
grasped Dr. Brooks’ wrist, press-
ing the cup hard against a swollen
the patient’s face in fascination. ™ and Dr. Brooks bent close
Dr. Brooks was tugging at an ob- over the recorder. Miss Knox
puter language. red mass. She rolled up the sleeve
ject resembling a camera, attached stood up and prepared her needle
“He’ll verbalize,” Brooks said. of the hospital gown which led to
by a spring clamp between the with penicillin from tee black
“Just don’t look at him thank — a raised shoulder (she wouldn’t
bulbs of the ceiling fixture.
look at the face) and hesitated —
satchel.
God they’ve found Gesner.” “Hilda!” Miss Knox “Don’t
said. kill him,” the adminis-
A above
red, bloated forehead another needle was already stuck
“Oh, look at his face now!” trator whined.
eyes fixed on her own through in the muscle, protruding just
“Subliminal picture slide,” said Three bells in the corridor. “All
lenses of gray fluid as it writhed above the skin. She foimd the vein
Dr. Brooks, dropping the object to personnel,” said the nurse’s voice.
and pressed up against the Broca and pushed the plunger in, and
tee floor with a crash. “There goes “Day shift, please take notice. Be-
cup in her fist. She covered her withdrew her needle.
his sweet sleeping face — an illu- ware of a patient, armed, seeking
face, and between her fingers the Dr. Brooks said, “Get that out
'sion filling in for reality because to escape from the emergency
sleeping Barger face still lay on of there.”
there was nothing else for us to floor.All hospital personnel. Be-
its pillow. She took tweezers from her
see.” ware of a patient .” . .
bathrobe pocket and carefully re-
Mr. Barger’s face was blotched Big Carl kicked the motorchair
"TkR. BROOKS screwed his own moved an inch of broken hypo- red and covered with shiny ooze. out of the doorway, stepped
features into a wink, and she dermic shaft. The blood spurted.
His throat was swollen as thick through and handed Dr. Brooks a
turned away to watch the unroll- She reached for cotton and alcohol. as his cheeks, with lumpy rolls of blue serge suit on a hanger. After
ing tape still chattering between 'Hiree bells rang in the corridor
neck stretched taut like strands of him came a nurse carrying a white
his hands: “England is the only as the door slid open, and Miss
pink beads above the bedsheet. His uniform and a paper bag. The
hope. We must go through im- Erwin came fluttering in.
mouth was hidden beneath caked room was filled with an echo of
mediately before direct control “Don’t look, Hilda!” warned
blood. voices spreading across the Mush-
and defenses build against us — Miss Knox. The mutape read, “You are run- room.
morphine, why did you not give “Calling the emergency rooms,” ning out of time.” “Step back,” said Dr. Feld,
me morphine? Pain is intolerable.” said a piping voice. “Beware of
Three bells in the corridor as stumbling over an interne.
“Analgesics nullify the Gesner patient William Barger who may the door slid open. “Calling Dr. Two student nurses came to the
shots,” Brooks said. attempt to escape. He may be Gesner,” said
.”
st cool nurse’s voice. doorway and stood on either side,
“Morphine,” chattered the tape, armed . .
“Emergency. Calling Dr. Feld. one with her hand in the photo-
“worth it, worth it, cure me when The mutape chattered.
Emergency.” cell beam to keep the door from
we have left for England. And hur- “Here, take the cup,” said Dr. Five internes scurried in, sur- closing. The noise grew.
ry, they want me alive, and as Brooks. He picked up the bedside

DON’T LOOK NOW 133


132 GALAXY
Dr. Gesner had removed some
^ing you weren’t alone, you or chair, which was buried among the
“Calling Dr. Gresner,” said the
of the cake with Miss Knox’s Dr. Brooks. I take it you were students. His spindle limbs flailed
cool nurse’s voice.
ibothon night duty.” from one side to the other until
A
group of internes shuffled in- tweezers and was prodding the lip-
Dr. Brooks said, “If any of the
side, faces averted, moving side- less inflammation. he was propelled from the room
“Wash this off as gently as you iiurses or Dr. Gesner’s students at a run, screaming, and the mes-
ways in the crowd around the bed.
can,” said Dr. Gesner, and Miss
don’t know what this is all about, senger boy vanished after him.
Two attendants came striding up
Knox stepped forward. “And the make an announce-
I’m sure he’ll Three bells rang in the corridor
and stood on either side of the
antiseptic ointment in my bag — it ment when we’re all on the way as the door closed.
door, next to the student nurses.
to England. You must have some Dr. Gesner raised his hand and
A class of medical students filed has a purple label.”
“I had to give him morphine,”
idea of what’s happened. If any- voices were stilled, the shuffle of
in and moved along the wall, the
said Dr. Brooks. one doesn’t want to come, of feet ended and the mutape chat-
taller ones standing on tiptoe to
— course—” tered alone in the sunshine. He
see the patient. A bearded profes- “Ah and some antibiotic?”
Miss Knox.
“Penicillin,” said
“Treason and insubordination!” leaned over and read the tape, and
sor in tweeds followed, whispering,
“Ah. Now me, where is this piped a hidden voice. “Under the as he straightened his back, even
“Here he comes, here he comes.” tell
other man who was put out of circumstances. Dr. Hamilton will the recorder stopped still. He
After a pause. Dr. Gesner wad-
commission by these— these throat have you jailed when he finds out heaved himself to his feet with
dled through the doorway between
nurses. Three internes came specialists? I’d like to examine (What you’re up to. Dr. Brooks.” the help of two internes.
his
him.” Brooks stretched his arm be- “He says—” puffed Dr. Gesner—
after with white coats flying open,
tween two students and pulled a he says this is no time for sadism.”
the middle one a Hindu in a blue
he switch on the wall. The ceiling be-
sash, and then a messenger boy
calling, “Telegram for Dr. Ges-
T ly
mutape chattered sudden-
and then stopped. Dr. gan to open, sweeping bright sun-
shine down the wall and making
UT AST ones up, girlie,” said Dr.
^
ner!” Three bells rang in the cor- Brooks bent and read out loud, Brooks.
“Get those two on motorskates! I ^etal buttons twinkle on Dr. She sat on the bed and the mu-
ridor, and the door slid shut
A path cleared before Dr. Ges- know them. They appear blond Feld’s jacket. The ceiling slid back tape spoke to her noisily. Big Carl
on rollers with a rumbling soimd, had hooked two cables
ner as he made his way to the bed. with their projector fields turned in place.
until nothing was overheard but Dr. Brooks the other two, and the
Helped to a sitting position, he on; otherwise they are both nar-
row-faced and dark.” the black dots of aircraft rising floor platform began to rise
opened the telegram which had
Dr. Gesner smiled with just the toward the sun. Nearby, a whirly- through the room toward the maw
been passed from interne to in-
middle of his face. “We caught bird took off with a rackety-rack- of the hovering whirlybird. She
terne.
ety-rackety-rack!
“You don’t mind,” he said, turn- them in the lobby on our way ia tucked the covers gently around
One of my lawyers is coming with “I phoned the Director,” Dr. her patient’s distorted throat
ing to the patient’s bloody face.
us. His son plays right tackle —
Brooks told the crowd. “He’s not The chatter stopped. She
He read the message and threw read,
interfering. In fact, I’m pretty
it away. “The police have been young lady!” He looked straight “This is something the Royalty
sure Dr. Hamilton will come.”
holding me for two days. Here my at Miss Knox. “I understand predicted for weeks ahead of time.
you’ve been talking about this “Dr. Feld,” said Dr. Gesner, I thought we could avoid it, but
lawyers have a nice case against
business for days, along with our “willyou show the adman out?” the Silvertongue pe\aple must have
City Hall, just when this England
“I’m not-” fed me the virus at our last lun-
business comes up — so you’re the friend with the cut throat. You’ve
man who’s dangerous and armed! been danger — those two men
in There was the sound of a blow cheon meeting. Then when nego-
I’m sure Hamilton isn’t responsible were still in the building on your
and the assistant administrator ap- tiations remained uncertain —
account, I’m sure. It’s a very good peared, scrabbling for his motor- thanks to Royalty sentiment on
for that story.”

134 GALAXY DON’T LOOK NOW 135


my board — they came visiting motorskates. They circled among
range of my device and reach sors were intended for beautifica-
while I slept and injected me with the squat mountain laurels, point-
America before they reached Eng- tion of environment, not deception

ing upward. The ambulance land — but there is no time for or thought control.”
a larger dose and planted the pro- walls
jectors. I woke up in awful pain. around her suddenly block-
settled
that. The world must unite against “Why England?” she persisted.
You were there, young lady — I ing the view,and the belly of the invasion. Even the Russians know “Pretty generally, the Royalty
that there no limit to the scope code is and has been standard pro-
with my fea-
is
screamed, silently, vehicle rumbled shut With a
or methods of greedy marketing cedure there. Like their constitu-
tures. I was unable to raise my bump, the floor platform was de-
specialists”—the machine punched tion, it hasn’t had to be put in writ-
head. You wiped blood from my posited on its girders.
Dr. Brooks said, “We’re away out a pattern of giggles and ing.”
cheeks with your palm and cleaned
— I’ll have the pilot phone the
chuckles — “and I doul^ if the “Aren’t there slums and unsight-
it on a piece of cotton. You
thought it was under water. Your others!”
Russians could ever invent a ly monuments in England, too?”
“Where’s socket?” Miss radiocompressor.” “Of course. Why do you think
eyes turned away before your the
— Knox asked. “Mr. Barger and “Are all the admen part of they would like to have the inven-
hand left the projector field I
were this?” tion? But it’s safe there; it won’t
or else you could not see what you talking.”
Brooks plugged into an “Absolutely not, young lady! be subverted to thought control
could not expect. While I looked Dr.
on, you treated me like a sleeping overhead beam and the mutape The very great majority has al- and sales engineering Tell me,
. . .

ways followed a strict code of Della, is Dr. Gesner on this am-


baby and asked Dr. Brooks about immediately began to chatter;
.” The perforated tape “What is your first name. Miss ethics that the very small minority bulance? I would like to meet him.”
radio . .

had stopped feeding from the ma- Knox?” has always subverted. Many - Dr. Brooks had come back from

“Della,” she said. ethical admen are in the birds the control room. He sat beside
chine.
“Pete Brooks.” now, on their way to England — her on the bed. “Dr. Gesner went
“His tape!” she cried.
“Don’t worry,” Dr. Brooks said. “Carl,” the big man growled as knowing perfectly well that Eng- ahead with Dr. Hamilton,” he said,
“We’re unplugged from the hos- he folded the gates. land is {X)or territory for emo- “because you’re healthier than
“Call me Bill,” said Mr. Bar- tional salesmanship.” either one of them. But, Mr. Bar-
pital system, but I reserved the
only ambulance with its own com- ger’s tape. Mr. Barger’s square “But why a Royalty Party in ger — Bill — doesn’t light-wave

puter circuit. It conveys limited hand motioned her closer beside a democracy?” Miss Knox asked. interference need two overlapping
ideas, but that’s better than noth- him. “Della, do you know what we “Royalty—” The tape showed projectors the subliminal
plus

ing.” must do when we reach England? amusement. “Not aristocracy. Roy- image? We
only found one.”
Big Carl had erected the safe- We must use the atom bomb first, alty, as in share of and control The recorder chattered: “I am
ty gates. “Look below,” he said. before the admen have full con- over. Motto of the Royalty Party sure the other is also somewhere
trol. Only then may we return to ‘The inventor is worthy of his in- in the bed. It is harmless by itself,
She stood up and pressed her
forehead to the latticework of the the America we know. The real vention,’ meaning the right to say and I am glad we have it — it will
nearest gate. At first there was America.” how his discovery shall or shall help me instruct a team of British
“Do the English know?” asked not be used — or not be used at physicists and engineers. But who
only a diamond-shaped patch of
Miss Knox. all, if itcan only be destructive— is in the other compartment? I
sky, with the Silvertongue factory
in the bottom corner. Then, as “Of course,” she said. “They as well as sharing in the proceeds. hate to play chess with the same
the platforms swung on its cables, heard the broaddasts, and their Unreasonable attitudes are not people over and over.”
she saw the curved edge of the scientists understood. They have possible;we have an Appeals “I’m afraid he doesn’t play,”
Mushroom, and the Administra- supported our Royalty Party for Board that can overrule a pig- said Brooks. “I think it’s old
tion roof swarming with figures on years. I think I could increase the headed patentee. Radiocompres- Boney, who had his throat cut be-

136 GALAXY DON’T LOOK NOW 137


cause your friends thou^t he Miss Knox called through the
mi^t you some help too soon.”
get doorway, “This one won’t let me
The recorder punched out, “I open the hatch!”
would like to meet him,” as Miss Hunched across the bed, his
by FREDRIC BROWN
Knox jumped from the bed, pull- hair falling over his forehead, Dr.
ing Dr. Brooks by the arm. The Brooks played chess with Mr. Bar-
machine chattered again briefly ger. “Not in here,” he said. "You
and she stopped and read, “Do can open the emergency hatch in
back if you like night air. But
Emperor of the World? Why
not neglect me altogether,” and
ran on. She opened the door to the don’t expect to see the bombers
be a cheapskate? There was
other bed compartment. — or anything but our own land-
Miss Erwin fell on her with a ing gear.”
simply no limit to the pros-
cuddly embrace, and then Dr. She slid past him and shut her-
Brooks reached over her shoulder self into the small rear compart-
ment and turned out the light. She
pects of the man who had —
to shake Miss Erwin’s hand.
“How’s the patient?” he asked. felt for the emergency lock and

Across the compartment, Boney’s swung her weight backward as the


face expanded in a three-cornered damp black air screamed in and
smile. tugged at her face —
the whirly-
“At least he slept,” said Miss bird showed its fat thigh with a
Erwin. “That poor Mr. Barger — rackety-rackety-rack ^round-hogl
all the time we thought he was in Tears ran down her cheeks, distort-
coma, he was wide awake!” ing her first view of darkness.
Miss Knox said, “Oh, my God!” Beyond the machine’s ungainly
silhouette she peered and saw
HEAR more jets!” wailed flashes of yellow light on water
Miss Erwin’s voice from — but nothing, nothing familiar.
Thus, squinting desperately to- hePower came to Lar-
“Why

T
the other room. are they all sloppy, with little close-set eyes
flying home tonight, and we have ward home, she noticed it, mark- ry Snell suddenly and un- that made him look almost as
to leave? Carl, are we — are we ing the horizon. A glowing mush- expectedly, out of nowhere. mean as he really was.
a quarter of the way to England?” room. It must have been gigantic. How and why it came to him, His only redeeming virtue was
“No,” Big Carl answered.
— LEONARD RUBIN he never learned. It just came; cowardice. It had kept him from
that’s all. committing crimes of violence.
It could have happened to a He was, that night, talking to a
nicer guy. Snell was a small-time bookie from a tavern telephone
crook — when he thought he could booth, arguing whether a bet he’d
get away with stealing — but the placed by phone that afternoon
bulk of his income, such as it was, had been on the nose or across
came from selling numbers racket the board. Finally, giving up,
tickets and peddling marijuana to he growled, “Drop dead,” and
adolescents. He was fattish and slammed down the receiver. He
138
GALAXY THE POWER 139
thought nothing of it until the she left him. He asked her how ;
All he had to do was pay for a favorite spot It was a small hill
next day when he learned that the much money she had with her, (pay for? Simply demand!) a
; in a valley surrounded by moun-
bookie had dropped dead while
. . . and then told her to give it to him. i TV network that would
universal tains. The scenery was magnifi-
talking on the telephone ... at She did, and it was several hun- j
J.
let him be heard by everyone cent Hedid most of his thinking
just about the time of their con- dred dollars. j
}
ever5Twhere. Or almost everyone. there, and found himself becom-
versation. He was in business. I He could take over when he had ing more and more elated and
I
This gave Larry Snell food for By the end of the next week he ‘.only a simple majority behind euphoric as he began to see that
thought. was rich. He had made himself ihim. The others would come into it could and would work.

He was not an uneducated man; that way by borrowing money ^ line later. Dictator, hell! He’d have him-
he knew what a whammy was. In from everyone he knew — includ- I
But this would be a Big Deal,
5 self crowned Emperor. Emperor
fact, he’d tried whammies before, ing slight acquaintances who were the biggest one ever swung, and of the World! Why not? Who
I
he decided to take his time plan-
I

but they’d never worked for him. fairly high in the hierarchy of the I
j could defy a man with the Power?
Had something changed? It was underworld and therefore quite )
ning it so there would be no pos- The Power to make anyone obey
worth trying. Carefully he made solvent —
and then telling them . sibility of his making a careless any command that he gave them,
out a list of twenty people whom, to forget it. He moved from his ;
mistake. up to and including—
for one reason or another, he fleabag pad to a penthouse apart- He decided to spend a few “Drop dead!” he shouted from
hated. He telephoned them one at ment atop the swankiest hotel in ! days alone, out of town and away the hilltop, in sheer vicious exu-
a time — spacing the calls over the town. It was a bachelor apartment, from everybody. He had planning berance, not caring whether or not
course of a week — and told each but he slept there alone only sel- to do. anyone or anything was within
of them to drop dead. dom, and then only for purposes i He chartered a plane to take range of his voice . . .

They did. All of them. of recuperation.



him uncrowded part
to a relatively A teenage boy and a teenage
It was not until the end of that of the Catskills, and from an inn girlfound him there the next day.
week that he discovered that what TT was a nice life. Even so it (which he took over simply by They hurried back to report the
he had was not simply the wham- took a few weeks of it to make telling the other guests to leave) dead man they had found on the
my, but the Power. He was talk- Snell realize that he was wasting he started taking long walks alone, top of Echo Hill.
ing to adame, a top dame, a strip- the Power. Why shouldn’t he real- thinking and dreaming. He found — FREDRIC BROWN
tease working in a top nightclub ly use what he had? Why not take
'

and making twenty or forty times things over — the country first and
his own income, and he had said, then the world — make himself
“Honey, come up to my room after the most powerful dictator in his-
the last show, huh?” tory? Why shouldn’t he have and
P.
She did. own everything, including a harem i

It staggered him, because he’d instead of a dame a night? Why


been kidding. Rich men and hand- shouldn’t he have an army to en-
some playboys were after her, and force the fact that his slightest
she’d fallen for a casual, not even wish would be everyone else’s
I
seriously intended, proposition highest law? If his commands were
from Larry Snell. obeyed over the telephone, cer-

Did he have the Power? He tainly they would be obeyed if he


tried it the next morning, before used radio and television.
140 GALAXY THE POWER 141
THE DUPLICATED MAN by authorities on diving with closed-
’ James Blish and Robert Lowndes. circuit oxygen apparatus. The big
Avalon Books, N. Y., $2.95 advantage of this technique is the
freedom from the exhalation bub-
1
“I’LL BE looked upon as the ulti- bles of compressed-air gear that
,
mate in military plagues,” says the complicate observation. But, re-
f man who is to be duplicated five- gardless of breathing methods,
*
fold, “the achievement
latest in Hass’s book is a breathtaking ac-
biological weapons.” count of several expeditions into
Later, a key character says, “Is exotic waters.
there a real hero? I can find none His text and photographs of his
— or too many.” Actually, the mul- encounter with a gigantic whale
tiplicity of prime movers is the aim shark in the Red Sea almost defy
of the authors. belief, as do the equally startling
Venus, colonized by self-exiled undersea photos obtained of the
revolutionaries and hiding behind harpooning of a monstrous sperm
a screen that deflects atomic mis- whale in the Azores.
siles, has been pasting Earth hap- The Great Barrier Reef of Aus-
hazardly with chemical warheads traliaand Darwin’s famed Gala-
for two generations. Earth, at im- pagos Islands also contribute to
' easy peace under Security Council word and picture.
rule, is too civilized to take puni-
tive measures against the aggres- WHEN THE SLEEPER
ACROSS THE SEA OF STARS White Hart and five from Reach sors. Hence the intricate plot of in- WAKES by H. G. Wells. Ace
by Arthur C. Clarke. Harcourt, forTomorrow, along with two ex- filtration involving the Duplicated Books, N. Y., 35^
Brace & Co., Inc., N. Y., $3.95 cellent novels. Childhood’s End Man.
and Earthlight. Deviousness of plottingand ONE OF the greatest of the true
WHEN CLARKE’S collection, As is usual with most Clarke many thumbnail character SF classics, this book has been out
The Other Side of the Sky, ap- short stories, the last sentence car- sketches enliven the book. of print for so long that it is either
peared, I remarked that practi- ries the stiJnner that virtually cer- Rating: ***i/2 a nostalgic memory to the older
cally all of the Clarke shorts worth tifies a ten minute digestive pause reader or a bare legend to the
reprinting in an all-Clarke anthol- between yarns. Prime examples of WE COME FROM THE SEA, younger. In my case, thirty years

ogy have been so honored. I never this shock treatment are “Inherit- by Hans Hass. Doubleday & Co., between readings left little recall-

reckoned that Harcourt, Brace ance,” “Encounter at Dawn,” Inc., N. Y., $6.50 able detail.
would issue an omnibus Clarke and “The Fires Within.” Sleeper is a prime example of
and knock my pat statement for a So, although an anthology THOUGH MANY tides have the short life of the gadget story.
loop. culled exclusively from previous waned and waxed since Reefs of Wells’ energy to sustain his com-
All the stories are from previous anthologies perhaps should not be Taprobane, our last undersea book, plex culture comes from batteries
volumes — eightfrom Expedition given a separate rating, this bar- Hass makes up for the long calm. of huge wind vanes. His airplanes
to Earth, five from Tales from the gain giant merits : ***** Hass is one of the world’s top are flimsy powered gliders, his

142 GALAXY SHELF 143


.

autos ridiculous toys. His guesses along are we, if we still resort to thetized reader. But the clunk of a quently awkward. Author Ray
cracking our neighbor’s skull to hero can’t begin to measure up to seems aware of the lack of narra-
at science to come were so out-
stripped by reality that today, half win an argument? the Burroughs giants. tive interest in his philosophical

a century later, they seem impos- By time page 75 rolls


the talkiness and intersperses his only
sibly timid. SCIENCE FICTION SHOW- around, obvious that ERB,
it is action scenes, laid in bed, between

The worth of his story lies in its CASE, edited by Mary Kornbluth. wherever he may be, can RIP, cer- regular periods of continence. It is

human values. The social prob- Doubleday & Co., Inc., N. Y., $3.95 tain that his laurels are still intact. not enough.
lems of the far-from-Brave New Rating: ** His “New School” is hardly that.
World, though based on the black- A SAD fact as Frederik Pohl
it is, Rather, it resembles the Good Life
and white concepts of 19th cen- states in his introduction, that this THE EXPLORATION OF teachings of the founders of most
make the story is one of the very few SF antholo- SPACE by Arthur C. Clarke. Har- of our modern religions.
tury Victorianism,
This is gies that does not contain a yam per & Brothers, N. Y., $4.50 Rating:
the classic that it still is.

“Young Wells” at his non-Utopian by the late C. M. Kornbluth. But

best.
this volume, compiled by his CLARKE’S AUTHORITATIVE THE BEAST MASTERS by
widow and written by his friends, 1951 volume is revised to include Andre Norton. Harcourt, Brace &
MAN’S JOURNEY THROUGH is a sort of memorial. the very latest information. Co.,N.Y.,$3.00
TIME by L. S. Palmer. Philo- The roster, fittingly, is strictly Concerning “Luniks,” the diffi-
sophical Library, N. Y big league: Knight, Pohl, Stur- culty of orbiting around the Moon MISS NORTON draws mainly
geon, Davidson, Anderson, Brad- is explained: “It is impossible for on the American Southwest as a
Dick, Williamson, Moon to
THE DATE of the beginning of bury, Blish, the trap a rocket. It must background prototype in her latest
man’s inhumanity to man is being Leinster,Matheson and Bloch. either crash, or head on out into juvenile, even though Earth has

constantly pushed further back “The Long Remembering” by space. Only if the vehicle is slowed ben obliterated in an interstellar
into antiquity. In explanation:
Anderson and “Mantage” by by the use of braking rockets can war.
some of the richest finds of human Matheson, Pohl’s “Man Who Ate it remain captive.” Her young hero, a Navajo youth
remains have been the gruesome the World” and Knight’s “Ticket The ion drive is explained and named Hosteen Storm, is Beast
relics of antediluvian cannibal to Anywhere” are genuine memory a new one, the plasma jet, is out- Master of a commando team com-
brain feasts. grabbers. lined.A plasma is a superheated posed of a hybrid dune cat, an
Palmer’s book is not meant for Rating: **** gas such as might derive directly African eagle and two small acqui-
light reading. His purpose is to from fusion reactions. It could be sitive and inquisitive meerkats. At
chart statistically against the back- THE GOLDEN APE by Adam the means of harnessing the hy- war’s end, he and his team settle
drop of time the subtle changes, Chase. Avalon Books, N. Y., $2.95 drogen atom. on the planet Arzor, mainly to col-
physical and cultural, that gradu- lect a tribal debt of vengeance

ally led to the first true Homo CHASE’S ADVENTURESOME THE NEW SCHOOL by Howard against a rancher formerly of
sapiens. Unfortunately, the evolu- romp is in the rare tradition of the William Ray. Exposition Press, Earth.
tionary chart is still full of blank old John Carter tales of Burroughs !Y. Y., $2.50 Miss Norton writes so skillfully
spaces. However, as a resume of — at first. The archaically roman- on the two operatic levels of horse
current knowledge, the catchily tic dialogue, the cliff-hanging chap- THIS UTOPIAN fantasy by a and space that her young readers
titled volume is exceptional and ter endings and the monochrome aovelist is at oncenaive and are sure to enjoy complete en-
possibly unique. characterizations pour nostalgia shocking, earthy and sublime, oc- thrallment.
A question arises: How far by the bucketful over the anes- casionally expert but more fre- Rating for youngsters: ****

144 GALAXY SHELF 145


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147
By GEORGE O. SMITH I

THE TROUBLEMAKERS he
What did Genetics and Hansen's
in common? Why, everything .

was statistical and Hansen's Folly


.
Folly
.
have
Genetics
impossible!
T
by
living

fourteen, with nearly


foot ceiling. Light
room reflected
wealth, position, good taste.
In size it was a full ten feet
an eight-
was furnished by
glow panels precisely balanced in
color to produce light’s most flatter-
Illustrated by DICK FRANCIS ing tint for the woman who sat in
a delicate chair of authentic, golden-
veined blackwood.
The chair itself must have cost
a fortune to ship from Tau Ceti
Five. It was an ostentation in the
eyes of the visitor, who viewed it as
evidence of a self-indulgent atti-
tude that would certainly make his
job more difficult.
The air in the room was fresh
and very faintly aromatic, pleasing.
It came draftlessly refreshed at a
temperature of seventy-six degrees
and a relative humidity of fifty per
cent and pfermitted the entry of no
more than one foreign particle
(dust) per cubic foot.
The coffee table was another os-
tentation, but for a different reason
than the imported chair of black-
wood. The coffee table was of ma-
hogany — terrestrial mahogany —
and therefore either antique, heir-
loom, or both, and in any combina-
tion of cases it was priceless. It gave
the visitor some dark pleasure to
sit before it with his comparison

microscope parked on the polished


mahogany surface, with the ease of
one who always parked his tools on

148 GALAXY 149


tables and stands made of treasure waved vaguely at the comparison isn’t that you don’t know better.” “I’ll not go,” said Mrs. Hanford
woods. microscope. “There are your back- Mrs. Hanford said, “Paul, how firmly, and Gloria added, “I’m not
There were four persons. Paul grounds for seven generations. No have we failed as parents?” going to let you talk about me be-

Hanford swirled brandy in a snifter one — and I repeat, no one — could Scholar Ross shook his head.
hind my back!”
with a series of nervous gestures. have foreseen the issue of a head- “You haven’t failed. You can’t help “Very well. As Scholar of Ge-
Mrs. Hanford sat in the blackwood strong, difficult offspring from the it if your daughter is a throw- netics, I am head of the
local Divi-
chair unhappily, despite the flatter- mating of characteristics such as back —” sion of Domestic Tranquility. I
ing glow of the wall-panels. Their these. I checked most carefully, would prefer to keep my district
“Throwback!” exclaimed Gloria.
daughter, Gloria, sat in such a way most minutely, just to be certain “ — to an earlier, more violent calm and peaceful, without the at-
as to distract the visitor by present- that some obscure but important tention of the punitive authorities,
age when uncontrolled groups of
ing a target that his eyes could not conflict had not been overlooked by and I’m sure you’d all prefer this,
headstrong youths formed gangs of
avoid. Try as he would, his gaze the signing doctor. Doctors, how- too.”
New York and conducted open
kept straying to the slender, ex- ever, do make mistakes.”
warfare upon one another for the “Absolutely!” said Paul Han-
posed bare ankle and the delicate, Gloria Hanford dandled her calf control of Tammany Hall. Those ford.
high-arched foot visible beneath provocatively and caused the hem
wild days were the result of un- “Now, then,” said Scholar Ross,
the hem of the girl’s dress. of her skirt to rise another half-
registered, unrestricted, and un-
The scholar’s eyes swung, “for the immediate problem, we’ll
inch.
controlled matings. Since no at- prescribe fifty milligrams of doci-
TV ORMAN Ross, GSch, was the clung,and were jerked away again. tempt was made to prevent the line,one tablet to be taken each
' and he subvocalized his
visitor, “What’s wrong with me. Scholar unfit from mating with the unfit,
night before retiring. This will
tenth self-indictment as he tore his Ross?” she asked in a throaty voice. there were many generations of
place our young lady’s frame of
gaze away from Gloria Hanford’s “You are headstrong, self-willed, wild ones — troublemakers. It is not
wild, and — ” his voice failed be- mind in a receptive mood to sug-
ankle to look into Paul Hanford’s surprising that, with such a human
cause he wanted to lash out at her
gestions of gentler pursuits. As soon
face. Ross was the Scholar of Ge- heritage, an occasional wild one is
for her brazen and deliberate dis-
Mr. Hanford, subscribe
as possible,
netics for the local division of the born today.” to Music To Live By and have
Department of Domestic Tranquil- play of her bare ankle; he strug-
gled to find a drawing-room word
them pipe in Program G-252 every
ity and he should have known all HE
^ ' scholar took another sur- evening, starting shortly affer din-
about such things, but he obviously for her that would not wholly of- I
reptitious (he hoped) glance at nertime and signing off shortly after
did not. fend the hapless parents and ul-
the bare ankle and said, “No, you
timately came up with — “meretri-
breakfast. Your daughter’s dinner-
He said, “You
can hardly blame
are not directly to blame. know We time and breakfast I mean, and the
yourselves, you know,” although he cious.”
you wouldn’t spawn a trouble- outlet should be in her bedroom. It
did not really believe it. Gloria said, “I’m all that just be-
maker willfully and maliciously. is not mandatory that she heed the
“But what have we done wrong?” cause I enjoy a little fun?”
It’s just an unfortunate accident. program material all the time, but
asked Mrs. Hanford in a plaintive “You may call it fun to scare
You must not despair over the past it must be available to set her
voice. people to death by flying your air- — but you must spend your efforts moods. Finally, upon awakening,
Scholar Ross shook his head and car below roof level along the city
to calm the troubled future.” a twenty-five milligram tablet of
caught his gaze in mid-stray before streets, but the Department of Air
“What should we do. Scholar nitrolabe will lower the patient’s
it returned all the way to that al- Traffic says that it is both danger-
Ross?” asked Paul Hanford. capacity for anticipating excite-
luring ankle. “Genetics, my dear ous and illegal.”
“I have to speak bluntly. Per-
ment during the day.”
Mrs. Hanford, is a statistical sci- “Pooh!”
ence, not a precise science.” He Paul Hanford said, “Gloria, it haps you’d prefer the ladies to He paused for a moment thought-
leave.” fully, and added as if it were an
150 GALAXY THE TROUBLEMAKERS 151
it’s fim, hurry up and pass a law II
aside, ‘Td not go so far as to sug- “I’d hardly expect anybody to
against it!”
gest ftat you — her parents — make approve of a program that is cal-
“Well, hardly that—” the scholar UNIOR Spaceman Howard
a conscious effort to avoid listening
to periods of Program G-252, but
culated to change their entire per-
sonality and character,” said
began. J Reed entered the comman-
“Tell me,” she interrupted. “How and briddy.
dant’s office eagerly
I’d definitely warn you not to fall Scholar Ross. “But a bit of common
long am I going to be on this pill- His salute was snappy as he an-
into the habit of listening to it.” logic will convince you that it is the
and-lullaby diet?” nounced himself.
He eyed the ceiling thoughtfully, better thing. Miss Hanford, you’ve
“It may be for a long time. In Commander Breckenridge
then consulted his notebook. “Come simply got to conform.”
severe cases, it is for the rest of the looked up at the young spaceman
to think of it. I’ll also give you a “Why?” she demanded.
patient’s life. On the other hand, without expression, nodded curtly,
prescription for Program X-870 ‘We live in a free world. Miss
we have quite a bit of evidence that and then looked down at the pile
which you can use or not as you Hanford, but it is a freedom diluted
your urge to excitement may of papers neatly stacked in the cen-
desire. Have this one piped into by our responsibility to our fellow-
dwindle with maturity. Oh, we do ter of his desk. Without saying a
your bedroom, Mrs. Hanford, and man. The density of population
not propose to make a pariah out word, the commander fingered
try to strike a somewhat reasonable here on Earth is too high to permit
balance. Say no greater imbalance
of you. Marriage and motherhood down through the pile imtil he
rowdy behavior. Laws are not
than about two of one to one of the
have settling effects, too.” came to a thin sheaf of papers
passed simply to curtail a man’s
other and if you, Mr. Hanford,
“My baby—!” cried Mrs. Han- stapled together. This file he with-
freedom. They are passed to pro-
ford. drew, placed atop the stack, and
spend any time listening to your tect the innocent bystander — who
“Your baby,” commented Paul then he proceeded to read every
is minding his own business — from
daughter’s program material, you
should also counteract its effect by Hanford in a very dry voice, “is a word of every page as if he were
the unruly, headstrong character
listening to an equal time of the college graduate, twenty years refreshing his memory about some
who doesn’t see anything wrong in
program prescribed for Mrs. Han- old.” minor incident that had become
disposing of empty beer bottles by
ford.” “Nobody’s asked my opinion,” important only because of the up-
dropping them out of his apartment
He turned back to Gloria and complained Gloria, swinging her per-levelannoyance it had caused.
window, and justifying his behavior
shook his head. by pointing out that it is a hundred-
legand hiking the hem of her skirt When he finished, he looked up
him and another half-inch above the slender and said coldly, “I presume you
She smiled archly at yard walk down the corridor to the
“Now what’s wrong?” ankle. know why you’re here, Mr. Reed?”
asked, trash chute. When we live so close
“Nobody will. However, Miss “I can guess, sir — because of my
“You,” he told her bluntly. “If together that no one can raise his
Hanford, I shall place your card in technical suggestion.”
this delinquency weren’t a mental voice in anger without disturbing
the ‘eligible’ file and have your “You are correct.”
disorder, I’d prescribe a ten milli- we have the right
his neighbor, then
characteristics checked. I’m sure “And it’s been accepted?” cried
gram dose of micrograine to be to pass laws against such a display
that we can find a man who will be the junior spaceman eagerly.
taken at the quickening of the
first of temp>er. It works both ways.
pulse prior to excitement. I don’t Miss Hanford. By requiring people
acceptable to you — and also to the “It has not!” snapped the su-
department of Domestic Tran- perior officer. “In fact—”
suppose you really regret your to behave themselves, we ultimate-
do you, Miss
quility.” “But, sir, I don’t understand—”
wildness, though, ly arrive at a social culture in which
“Humph!” “Silence!” said Commander
Hanford?” no one conducts himself in such a
“Sneer if you will. Miss Hanford. Breckenridge. Almost automatical-
way as to anger his neighbor into
But marriage and motherhood ly, his right hand slipped the top
HE shook her head. “No, and I violence. Have I made myself
S don’t really enjoy the whole clear?”
have taken the ‘hell’ out of a lot
of hell-raisers in the past”
drawer open to expose the vial of

“In other words,” said Gloria,


tri-colored capsules. His hand
program you’ve laid out for me.” “if

GALAXY THE TROUBLEMAKERS 153


152
stopped short of them, dangling known about my suggestion for “You don’t? Mr. Reed, was your Three years Fve spent in the Serv-
into the drawer from the wrist rest- years, why isn’t it being used?” desire to improve the efficiency of ice, sir, solving theoretical and hy-
ing on the edge. He looked down at “Because, Mr. Reed, it will not Operations a simple desire to im- pothetical problems in space opera-
the and seemed to be debating
pills work!” prove the Service — or did you tions.But aside frohi one test flight
whether it would be better to con- “But, sir, it’s gpt to work!” hope that this brilliant suggestion to the Moon, I haVe yet to set a
duct this painful interview as gen- “And you feel so firmly con- would, perhaps, provide you with foot inside of a spacecraft, let alone
tlemen should, or to let his ri^t- vinced of this that you had the a better assignment?” stand on the soil of another world!”
eous anger show. temerity to bypass my office?” “I still do not understand.” “You must learn patience, Mr.
“Mr. Reed,” he said heavily, “Oh, you don’t? Mr. Reed, why Reed.”
“Sir, you yourself make a point
“your aptitudes and qualifications of professing to know did you join the Space Service in “Patience, sk? Look, sk, I took
absolutely
were reviewed most carefully by nothing about scientific matters.”
the first place?” this sedentary duty Until I’d had it
the Bureau of Personnel, and then- “Because, sir, I hoped that I up to here, and then I began to pry
“All right, we’ll table this angle
considered judgment caused your could be instrumental in helping into the question of why we have a
for a few minutes. Just what makes
replacement here, in the Bureau of mankind to spread across the Space Force, complete with space-
this notion of yours so important,
Operations. You were not—and I Galaxy.” craft, and still do so little space
Mr. Reed?”
repeat, not—placed in the Bureau “Mr. Reed, have you sand in traveling. I found out. We’re lim-
of Research. Is this clear?” your shoes?” ited to a maximum tange of seven-
said Reed, “the maxi- “Sir?”
“Yes, sir. But-”
“Mr. Reed, I cannot object to
^ mum range for our most effi- The commander sighed. “You
teen light-years to the point of no
return. Even a trip to Eden, Tau
cient spacecraft is only a bit over hoped to go along on the voyage, Ceti, our nearest colony, is eleven-
the provisions in the Regulations
seventeen light-years to the point of didn’t you?”
whereby encoiu-agement is given point-eight light-years, and that
no return. My suggestion deals ‘Well, sir, I did have a hope that takes prodigious power.”
both theofficers and men to prof-
with a means of extending that I’d become a real spaceman.” “Granted,” said the commander.
fer suggestions for the betterment range a hundred times. Perhaps “And you’re disappointed?” “But now, sk, if we could in-
of the Service. However, a shoe- more. If it were my decision, sir, Howard Reed’s face was wistful, crease our range by one hundred
maker should stick to his last. The an3Tthing that even hinted at ex- torn between a desire to confide in times, this does not necessarily
benefit of this program becomes a tending the cruising range would his commanding officer and the mean that we must actually power
detriment when any officer or man receive a maximum-urgency pri- fear of sayingwhat he knew to be a the spacecraft for that point of no
tries toinvade other departments. ority.” sharp criticism of the Space Serv- return. It alsomeans that we could
This works both ways, Mr. Reed. “In other words, you feel that ice. charge the ship with one one-him-
There is not an officer in the whole anything we can do to extend our Then Reed he was
realized that dredth of its former banks for the
Bureau of Research who can tell the most important
operations is in a bad pinch anywa^and so he short trip to Eden, Tau Ceti —
me a single thing about organi2ing thing in the whole Space Service?” said, “Sir, I’m commissioned as a which would leave a fantastic
my Bureau of Operations. Con- “Well, sir, perhaps not the most junior spaceman, but in three years amount of storage and cargo and
versely, I would be completely important, but —” Fve only made one short test flight passenger space. Sir, we could start
stimned if any Operations officer “Your modesty is gratifying. I — and only to Luna! I am compe- real commerce!”
were to come up with something presume this modesty would pre- tent to pilot — or at least that’s
that hasn’t been known to the vent you from accepting any more what the flight simulators OMMANDER
say in Breckenridge
Bureau of Research for years.”
“Y es, sir. I see your point, sir. But
than the Letter of Commendation
from the Office of the Secretary?”
my checkouttests. Fm a jimior ^ gave no reaction.
spaceman — yet every time I apply “And you hoped to be among
if the Bureau of Research has “I don’t rmderstand, sir.” for active space duty, Fm refused! them.”
154 GALAXY THE TROUBLEMAKERS 155
“Yes, sir! As a kid, I read about — if it weren’t for the fact that “Being sorry is not enough, Mr. This includes the self-discipline of
mankind’s first exploration of space Hansen’s Folly turns up with such Reed. But I have a plan that will admitting it when one has been
two hundred years ago, sir. Of regularity that we here at Research gratifyeverybody concerned. You wrong, and being able to state pre-
course, I couldn’thope to set foot hold a regular pool against its next want to become an active space- cisely how, where, why, and, most

on a new planet, since every possi- rediscovery. You’ll be happy to man? Very well, your next tour of important, to what degree.”
ble planet within the seventeen- know yoimg genius,
that you, your duty will be at the Space Force “I don’t understand,” said his

light-year range has been looked and your department have ‘won’ for Station on the planet Eden, Tau hostess.

over. But wanted to see space


I me the great honor (?) of buying Ceti. It will terminate when you “Mrs. Harrison, let’s consider
myself, sir — and I did hope that I dinner for the crew at the Officers have finally succeeded in locating Bertram.”
might extend Man’s frontier be- Club on Saturday next. the flaw in Hansen’s Folly and can She cast a glance at her son. In
yond our rather small limit” “Don’t be too hard on yoimg show the error to the satisfaction an earlier age, he would have been
“Yes, I can understand the im- Reed; the rediscovery of Hansen’s of Commander Briggs. Have I called “indolent.” During dinner,
patience of youth,” said Comman- Folly takes a rather bright mind. made myself clear, Mr. Reed?” Bertram had employed the correct
der Breckenridge. “For that, I can However, Breck, I will congratu- “Yes, sir, and thank you, sir. fork, plied his knife properly, con-

forgive you. But for trying to do the late your bright yoimg man if he You’re really doing me a favor, versed with his partners on both
other man’s job, I cannot.” can without any further clue —
— sir.” sides — yet she knew something
“Sir, you’re as much as saying go back over his own mathematics “Mr. Reed, despite the age-old was wrong.
that no one can have a good techni- and locate the flaw. I’ll — ” platitude,it is wise to look the gift “Bertram,” she said, “haven’t you
cal idea but the technical people “There’s more of this, but it isn’t horse in the mouth, at least before been forgetting your pills?”
at the Bureau of Research.” germane,” said Breckenridge quiet- saying thanks.” “Sorry, Mother,” replied the
In answer, the commander ly. “This is enough.” young man tunelessly.
flipped over several pages of the “Enough, sir?” repeated Reed Ill Bertram arose and left, and
file. He said: “Mister Reed, this is blankly. Scholar Ross said, ‘This is what I
what resulted in your abortive “Enough to let you know what C CHOLAR Norman Ross smiled mean, Mrs. Harrison. Genetics is
tempt to gain a scientific ear
at-
in- goes on. Now, Mr. Reed, you’ve ^ at his host’s statement. “Yes, not a precise science; it is statisti-

stead of forwarding your suggestion committed nothing but a brash act indeed, Mr. Harrison! Arranging cal. We
can consider highly favor-
through the standard channels. I’m of bad taste in bypassing the stan- these things so that we can main- able the mating of two well-bal-
going to quote some pertinent parts dard channels. Such an indiscretion tain the Norm is often a delicate anced people, and we can predict
of a letter from Commander Briggs, demands some form of punishment, and arduous task. There are restric- that this union will produce well-
head of the Bureau of Research. but if I were to attempt to outline tions, and there are many variables balanced children. Unfortunately
Listen: punishment officially, it would be involved, the most sensitive of we cannot guarantee the desired re-
“ — young genius has rediscov- unfortunately easy for some legal which are the feelings of the people sults. Hence we have anomalies

ered the line of mathematical argu- eagle to point out that your be- involved.” such as Bertram, whose problem is
ment known here at Research as havior was, to the best of your “Your job must call for the ul- simply a lack of drive. Now this is
‘Hansen’s Folly’ because it was first knowledge, intended for the better- timate in diplomacy,” said Mrs. no fault of yours, Mrs. Harrison,
exploited by young Spaceman Han- ment of the Service. And further- Harrison. nor of yours, Mr. Harrison. It may
sen about a hundred and fifty years more that I was wreaking ven- To his host’s wife. Scholar Ross be the fault of Genetics, but if it is
ago. Hansen’s Folly is probably to geance upon your hapless soul for nodded. “Yet,” he said as an after- our ‘fault,’ then the fault lies in the
be expected of a young, ambitious having made my name the brunt thought, “of even greater value is a lack of total knowledge; but not in
young officer with stars in his eyes. of jokes at the Officers Club.” high regard for the perfect truth. the misuse, or lack of use, of what
I’d be inclined to congratulate him “I’m sorry, sir.”

156 GALAXY THE TROUBLEMAKERS 157


Ross.” “You know, Mrs. Hanford, partment of Domestic Tranquility.
knowledge we do already have.” vanced culture, Bertram would
the vidphone hardly does you jus- We shall watch through the years
“I see what you mean, Scholar have been permitted to meet con-
tice!” “Why, thank you!” as your grandchildren grow, and
Ross.” temporary personalities. Perhaps
“Miss Hanford, may I present make periodic checks, and thereby
“You’ll also see the opposite might have met someone who — as
Bertram Harrison?” “How do you advance mankind’s knowledge of
when the Hanfords arrive. Here we he does — lacks drive and initiative,
do?” “I do as I please. What’s your genetics.”
have parents as stable as you two. and the result would have been a
excuse?” “Huh?” "Now, Gloria!” ‘Doesn’t this sort of master-
You’ll pardon me if I say that if all family of dull children. Had he
“Bertram, show Gloria the flower minding ever give you a God com-
four of your characteristic cards been imlucky enough to marry a
room. Go on, now!” plex?” asked Mr. Hanford.
were dropped at once and I had woman with drive and ambition, “Not at all. Were I God, I’m sure
Scholar Ross watched the young
been expected to render a consid- their children might have been nor-
couple walk through a French door I could arrange things a lot better.”
ered opinion as to their most favor- mal, but the entire home life would
to an outside terrace. He turned to “In what way?”
able mating combination, I could have been an emotional battlefield.
Harrison and said, “Everything “By Man’s own we
render no preference, so equal are And that — laws, are
set?” prevented from doing active gen-
you. However, your union has pro- “Isn’t that what you’re about to
Harrison nodded. “Had a little etic research on the human race. We
duced Bertram. Conversely, their achieve?” asked Mr. Harrison.
trouble with the Music people till apply what happens to mice and
mating has produced a girl who is “Not at all. We shall achieve the
I used your priority. They said fruit flies to the human family tree.
wild, headstrong, willful.” normal, happy children who will
they’d have Program R-147 piped We’ve known for centuries how to
undoubtedly grow into fine, stable
into the flower room. Frankly, I breed blue-eyed or brown-eyed peo-
13 ERTRAM returned, seated adults. To gain this end, of course,
think R-2 15 is better.”
home must be happy and we wanted, we could make
ple, or, if
himself quietly, and when their life
the race predominantly fat or thin,
tranquil. We’ll prescribe for them —
Scholar Ross stopped talking, Ber-
C CHOLAR Ross laughed gently. tall or short. However, our main
tram said apologetically, “I took a allowing for the emotional change
that results from marriage and — ^ “Probably happy association.” aim is not the ultimate purity of
double dose. Mother.”
‘Wife and I still have it piped in any physical characteristic. Orir
“Is that all right?” she asked The doorbell the
interrupted
for our anniversary,” Mr. Harrison goal is to produce a stable, happy
Scholar Ross. scholar’s explanation. “Allow me,”
admitted. people by eliminating the lethargic
“Probably won’t do any harm,” he said, rising and heading for the
“Good for you! But R-2 15 is for personality below and the excitable
he said. apartment door. The Harrisons fol-
normal, happily well-balanced types above.”
Mr. Harrison cleared his throat. lowed him at a slight distance. It
young people who’d probably fall The scholar thought for a mo-
I approve of Ber-
“I’m not sure that was the Hanfords.
in love without it. R-147 is sure-fire ment, and then, remembering Ber-
tram marrying a headstrong girl. There was the full roimd robin of
for emotional opposites.” tram’s error in forgetting to take his
Scholar Ross.” introductions and small talk; “You
“Well, we finally got the program go-pills, said, “But we are blocked
Mrs. Harrison said, “William, had no trouble?” “No, the intercity
piped in, so what do we do now?” by
beacon was running clear —” “Love-
law. I can prescribe medication
you know it’s best.”
Scholar Ross smiled quietly. “We and therapy, but I have no power to
“For Bertram?” ly apartment, Mrs. Harrison.” “Mrs.
wait. We get acquainted, because force the patient to take the treat-
“Now here,” said Scholar Ross, Hanford, here in Philadelphia we
there is a very high probability that ment. This is a most difficult prob-
‘Sve must cease considering the wel- feel that we’re almost in the sub-
you two families will be united lem, believe me.”
fare of the individual alone and urbs.”“Got a treat for you, Hanford
through the marriage of your chil- “In what way?” asked Mrs. Har-
start thinking of him as a part of an — been saving a bottle of natural
dren. Then I shall enter a new file rison with some interest.
integrated society. No man is an bourbon!” “That’ll be a treat, all
in the Genetics Bureau of the De- “The lethargic types are very
island, Mr. Harrison. In a less ad- right!” “This is a real event. Scholar

GALAXY THE TROUBLEMAKERS 159


158
apt to forget, or to dismiss the med- dummy acting as if he’d never been stepped toward Gloria purpose- background soimds were gone and
ication or the therapy as too much alone with a girl before in all his life. fully; the girl crouched in a judo from the patio came the faint, sweet
trouble. The overactive type is But to ask me for a kiss!” position and said, ‘Want some strains of romantic music: Program
more likely to be water skiing on “Is that what caused the erup- more? Come and get it!” R-147.
Lake Superior than sitting and lis- tion?” said Scholar Ross. “Now wait a moment,” said Finally Scholar Ross said, “Miss
tening to the tranquilizing strains of ‘When he asked me for a kiss, I Scholar Ross. “Gloria, where did Hanford, we cannot force you to do
prescribed music, and the medica- told him that I was saving my kisses you ever learn such brutal, belliger- anything, but we can make your life
tion dumped down the drain in- for a man!” ant tactics?” extremely uncomfortable if you do
stead of taken.” “And then?” not comply with what we believe to

“You do have your problems,
don’t you?” said Mrs. Hanford sym- man
“Then he decided that I meant a
big enough to wrestle.” Gloria
^ LORIA faced him, but kept
one eye on Bertram. “Out of
be best for society.
if
You will find
you care to look it up — that there
pathetically. laughed and then looked thought- a book — where else in this calm old is a drastic shortage of eligible
“Ah, yes. But our greatest prob- ful. world?” young women on the planet Eden,
lem is the overactive young female. “What’s so funny — and not so The scholar said, “You see. Miss Tau CetL”
Young males can be siphoned off in funny now?” Hanford, the results of your out- “You mean — migrate — to the
one way or another — work to be “I just realized that I like men!” rageous behavior? You’ve commit- colony?”
done that, unfortunately, females, “But Bertram?” ted an act of physical violence. “I mean just that.”
can’t also do.” ScholarRoss smiled “Darned if it isn’t the first time You’ve Gloria Hanford’s face went white.
at Mr. and Mrs. Harrison. “So we I’ve ever resented being pawed,” The girlgave one sharp bark of She understood that if Scholar Ross
actually are grateful for the lethar- said Gloria in a matter-of-fact tone, laughter. “Who started it with decreed Eden, Tau Ceti, for her,
gic types. They provide us with a -asif it were her hair-do rather than whose caveman technique?” then she would end up on Eden,
upon the —
fine sobering influence her virtue that was the subject of “I think,” said Scholar Ross to Tau Ceti, and it made no difference
The scholar was interrupted by a discussion. “So I grabbed a hand, the four parents, .“that this meeting whether by force, coercion, or gen-
wordless cry from beyond the hung the arm over my shoulder with should be resumed at a later date. tle persuasion.
French windows. the inside upward, and hip-tossed Bertram must not overdose himself Mrs. Hanford took a step for-
the big oaf over the railing into that in a misguided effort to make up for ward and opened her mouth to
'
I
^HE Harrisons, the Hanfords, silly little fish pond.” omitted medication. Gloria must speak. But before she could protest,
and Scholar Ross leaped to “Gloria!” exploded her mother. not avoid hers — and, Mrs. Han- her husband put out a hand and
their feet and started for the ter- “Poor Bertram!” exclaimed his ford, you’ll not only have to watch stoppjed her. His act was an admis-
race. did not get all the way
They mother. closely to see that she does take her sion that not money, position, nor
to the French doors, for Gloria Scholar Ross sighed. “These pills; you’ll also have to make sure logic Would overrule such a deci-
Hanford came stamping in. Her things often go awry at first. Ber- that Gloria doesn’t counteract them sion.
eyes were bright, and she was dust- tram shouldn’t have taken a double by surreptitiously acquiring some “Ekien, Tau Ceti,” breathed Glo-
ing one palm with the other. dose of his medication. And I’d agitators to neutralize the tranquil- ria.She turned and faced Bertram
“What - ?” guess that Gloria hasn’t been metic- izers.” Harrison. “Junior,” she said in a
Gloria snapped, “Someone been ulous about hers, either. Now — “And suppjose I call the whole dry, strained voice, “if you’ll wear
feeding that oaf red meat?” He was interrupted by the ar- thing off?” demanded Gloria. “Sup)- mittens and handcuffs, let’s go back
“But what happened?” asked Mr. rival of Bertram Harrison, who pose I don’t agree to share bed and in the garden and get acquainted.”
Harrison. looked as if he’d just waded home board with souped-up sardine?”
this Her father exhaled a full breath.
“Oh, I could stand the big across a mud flat at low tide. He The room grew quieter until the Mr. Harrison tapped him on the

160 GALAXY THE TROUBLEMAKERS 161


shoulder. “How about a sample of Of these forty-one stars, three
that bottle of natural bourbon?” he are triple-sim systems, and twelve
suggested. are doubles, which eliminates fif-
“Not,” Mrs. Hanford said shak- teen of them. Of the remaining
ily, “without me!” twenty-six single stars, one is the
blinding-blue giant Altair, two are
white dwarf stars, and nineteen of
IV them are the faint red dwarf stars
of Spectral Class M, and that elimi-
l^T AN’S first sally across the gulf nates all but four of the orig ina l
of interstellar space had been forty-one. Of this remaining four.
more fruitful than his first fumbling Epsilon Eridani, Epsilon Indi, and
exploration of the Solar System by Groombridge 1618 fall into the
a score of one to nothing. Of all the orange Spectral Class K, which is
celestial real estate that orbits not too far away from Sol’s Spec-
around old Sol, only the Earth will tral Class G. BufK is only close;
support life — at least as we know it is no bull’s eye when the combi-

it. Survival elsewhere depends nation of all the factors must add
upon taking enough of Earth en- up to produce a planetary environ-
vironment along to last of the trip. ment that will support human life.
From the scientific standpoint, the And so, having eliminated forty
first exploration of space was a bril- out of the forty-one stars in Sol’s
liant operation, but before finding neighborhood, only Tau Ceti re-
a place to accept the teeming mil- mains. Tau Ceti is also a Spectral
lions of Earth’s exploding popula- Class G star and therefore Tau
tion, the patient nearly died. For Ceti was voted the star most likely
itwas a quarter of a century until to succeed, long before Man had
Murray, Langdon, and Hanover the foggiest notion of how to cross
cracked the Einstein barrier. the light-years, long before instru-
By careful design, and then by ments sensitive enough to ascertain
counting the last gram and strik- that Tau Ceti possessed a planetary
ing a mathematically adjusted bal- system were developed.
ance between ppwer bank and crew Tau Ceti’s planetary system can
space, the range of a spacecraft was be used as an example of the bril-
found to be slightly more than sev- liance of logic and reasoning. The
enteen light-years to the point of second planet in the family of Tau
no return. Ceti is the planet Eden.
Within seventeen light-years of Eden supports life.
Sol, there are forty-one other stars. Or perhaps it is more proper to

162 GALAXY THE TROUBLEMAKERS 163


strong upsurge during the early
I Spaceman Howard Reed a lot of Ceti market. They were a people
say that Eden’s environment per-
years of the initial interstellar ex-
I time to think. who played their own musical in-
mits life to support itself. Voltaire,
The leaders of the Space
I The culture of Eden, Tau Ceti, struments because they were faced
through the mouths of his charac- ploration.
I completed the process, with the very odd economic fact
ters Candide and Pangloss, had a Service were quite willing to feath-
f Eden used old-fashioned tele- that the first phonograph record
lot to say about Earth being the erbed themselves into permanent
phones because its people were too from the die costs five thousand
best of all possible worlds, both positions of high authority. They j
widespread across the face of the dollars. Nobody makes a dime un-
pro and con. He had never been discovered the best method lay in
planet to make the use of the til fifty thousand of its brothers are
to Eden. Eden was christened by exploiting every method of scaring
vidphone practical. Radio broad- sold. The population to buy fifty
the rules of real estate that dictate the public with the bogey of meet-
casting was maintained by the thousand did not exist
that a housing development situ- ing some warlike culture “Out .

government as a public service in- In simple fact, Eden, Tau Ceti,


ated on a tree-bald plain in central There.” Then the years passed with
formation agency. It had to be. was far from a flourishing colony.
Kansas shall be called “Sylvan neither sight nor evidence of any i'

There were not commercial enter- It was a classic example of the sim-
other form of life but Man and the
!

Heights.” V

prises enough to support radio ple economic truth that a fully in-
creatures he carried with him. The
(’


broadcasting on a profit-making tegrated mechanistic society can
V Space Service found itself with lit-
basis. For there simply were not
f
not be supported by a sparsely
tle to do.
..enough people. And
simple radio
if populated region.
UNIOR Spaceman Howard It did not stop the clamor for
i broadcasting could not be support-

J Reed went through a brief money, men and materiel. But the
ed, there was not yet room for even

A MBITION has many origins.
period of excitement and then set- job of the Space Service was not
rthe old flat-faced television, much The urge to return home be-
tled down to boredom. The excite- hunting space pirates. The only I
'

place where the power banks of a


less trivideo. came a drive. The result was Junior
ment came from his first experience
. Theirs was a culture in a mixed Spaceman Howard Reed’s com-
in space travel, and the thrill of spacecraft could be restored was
i state.They had the know-how for plete preoccupation with the math-
standing on soil almost twelve in the hands of the Space Service

a highly technical, closely-inte- ematics known as Hansen’s Folly.
light-years from home base. This itself, and it was an installation vast
'
grated urban civilization, but As the months went by he ex-
thrill faded as soon as he discov- enough to tax the wealth and in-
I lacked the hardware necessary to hausted his original knowledge. He
ered that the people on Eden, Tau genuity of a whole continent to
it. They were an aircar
'.construct took to the library, to the local
Ceti, were far too busy to be both- create. The job was not fighting in-
^people, but they used horses. schools, and to self-study to im-
ered with the reactions of a junior terstellar wars with fierce, super-
^Horses can be raised. Aircars have prove his grasp. He approached the
spaceman. intelligent interstellar aliens with
to be fabricated. It would not have
If his duties had been demand- a taste for human flesh — not, at I basic mathematics of the space
been prohibitive to trans-ship the drive from several different angles,
ing, Reed might have gone on for least, until human and alien met. I
basic tools and dies for aircar as- even going back to the old original
some time without becoming bored. So, in a desultory manner, the j.

: sembly from Earth, Sol, to Eden, Einstein Equations and learning


But as a junior officer in the Space Space Service maintained a per-
; Tau Ceti. But it would have been their fault in the hope that this
Service, Reed had no roots, no imeter of lookout and detection
[•economic suicide to attempt to study might point the way.
property, no basic interests on stations that could have been com-
keep the voracious maw of an au- Then, as the months began to
Eden. pletelyautomated ... if it hadn’t
tomated assembly plant satiated grow into the close of his first year,
The Space Service had been been that there were more Space
with raw material shipped from Reed took advantage of the casual-
born out of interservice rivalry dur- Service Personnel than the Service
home base. And then, one week’s ly informal operation at the Space
ing a tense period of international could find work for.
run would have saturated the Tau Service Base. He began to experi-
competition. There had been a The whole situation gave Junior
GALAXY THE TROUBLEMAKERS 165
164

L
ment with hardware on the theory later date, an increasing pressure “Yes, sir.” *
^HE commander leaned forward
of population might make I
that he would have a better grasp it ex- “Now, young man, what has be- to press his point. “Then came
of the problem if he tried some pedient and sensible to clear vast come of this strong pioneering the industrial revolution and the
empirical work as well as the aca- areas of tree strimps, boulders and ' drive? How did it ooze out of the age of automation. Industrial slav-
demic approach. all sorts of hazards.” human race? Where did it go, and ery ended in a clank of gears. Your
Junior Spaceman Howard Reed “And here on Eden?” why? Why are six billion people little man no longer starved to
had been on Eden, Tau Ceti, for ‘Well, sir, at the present time living crowded conditions on
in death nor toiled twelve hours a day.
eighteen terrestrial months before the population of Eden is about a Earth, while here upon Eden, Tau The finest automobile that the
his superior officer, making a tour hundred thousand. Fertile plains Ceti, a mere hundred thousand p>eo- wealthy man could buy was only
of inspection, opened the office re- are growing wild with weeds be- ple occupy — by your estimate — three or four times as expensive as
served for him at the Administra- cause the land isn’t needed yet. some twenty million square miles? the car driven by the average work-
tion Building. On the eighth day of That is — er — Why haven’t the crowded millions man. Therefore the idea of stak-
Commander Breckenridge
his visit, “That is what?” of Earth clamored for all this extra ing out arable land as a means to
summoned the junior spaceman to “Maybe I shouldn’t have said space?” wealth became less and less desir-
his office.He asked, “Mr. Reed, ‘wild with weeds’ sir. After all, they “Perhaps because space travel is able. Automation hit the farm. The
have you been successful in solv- have been encouraged. I’m told so expensive.” landed baron changed into the
ing the flaw in Hansen’s Folly?” that the atmosphere smelled a lot “Only terms of cash. To be
in elected presiding officer over a
“Well, sir, not exactly.” stronger when Man first arrived.” sure, it might take practically stock-secured corporation.
“Have you improved your grasp everything that a man has to buy “Today,” said the commander,
of the facts of life?” ^
I'' HE commander sniffed and passage. I now ask you to estimate “the man who leaves his home to
“Sir? I don’t quite understand.” said, “It’s pretty strong right how many men and their families migrate is not abandoning squalor
“You don’t? Well, perhaps you now.” sacrificed everything they had, and sorrow in the hope of finding
need some help. For instance, Mr. “You don’t notice it after a packed a few treasured possessions something better. He’s leaving lux-
Reed, can you give me an estimate couple of months,” said Reed. into a Conestoga wagon and headed and leisure. For what?
ury, culture,
of the useful land area of Eden, Tau “I don’t propose to be here that for the West.” For the privilege of scrabbling for
Ceti?” long,” said the commander curtly. “Ihave no way of knowing, sir.” a bare existence. Now, Mr. Reed,
“Sir, the total land area about
is “Let’s get back to your grasp of “No, of course not. Let me tell are you beginning to understand?”
fifty million square miles. Perhaps the overall picture.” Commander you what happened. In that glori- “I think so, sir.”
about half of that is useful, or could Breckenridge leaned back in his ous phase of Early North America, “Good. Then you’ll begin to re-
be.” chair and said, “No doubt you men, women, and even their chil- vise your opinion as to the impor-
“Ah. You said ‘could be’. Why, were exposed to Early North dren toiled from sunrise to sunset tance of extending the
, cruising
Mr. Reed?” American History. You will recall to scratch out their living. From range of our spacecraft.”
I

“Let’s put it this way, sir. that there was a strong pioneering the dawn
: of history, luxury and Reed blinked, “Sir?”
Whether a given acreage is useful drive in the human
race that went belonged to the landed
leisure “Be sensible, young man. A
often depends upon how badly it is on almost from the date of the dis- baron. Since wealth went with colony is a waste of effort unless it
needed. For instance, a plot of covery of North America until the acreage, any man who could stake becomes more than self-sufficient.
wooded land might well be ignored opening phases of the so-called ‘In- out a claim to acreage could also Until Eden, Tau has become
Ceti,
for centuries by a sparsely popu- dustrial Revolution’ — that is, be- claim wealth. It was a matter of
.
populated to the point where Ekien
lated agrarian culture who had a ginning of the electro-mechanical 1, finding the unclaimed acreage can support her own highly techni-
lot of open plain to cultivate. At a era. Am I not correct?” ,
first.” cal culture, it is an economically
166 GALAXY THE TROUBLEMAKERS 167
unsound proposition.” The com- stay here on Eden until you do?" more about my personnel than I to be ‘Guest of Dishonor* at the
do.” Officers’ Club. I will, according to
mander glared at the yoimg space- “Yes, sir, but—”
“Sir?” custom, be served the plate of
man. “Must I be blunt? Every ef- “And the longer it takes you, the
“First, he offered to bet me a baked S3mthetic beans whilst my
fort must be spent in raising the more ridicule will be directed at
dinner at the Officer’s Club that contemporary officers and their
culture-level of Eden, Tau Ceti. you, at me, and the Bureau of Oper-
you wouldn’t locate the flaw in wives partake of a gourmet’s ban-
That means increasing the popula- ations?”
Hansen’s Folly by the time I made quet of natural foods.”
tion, Mr. Reed, until the numbers “But, sir-”
this tour of inspection. Knowing “Sir, I’m sorry.”
are high enough to pay for indus- “Mr. Reed, I’ll also point out
that you’d probably have no other “Being sorry is hardly enough!”
trialization. Once the cities of that there will be no promotion un-
ambition than to leave Eden, Tau The commander pawed through
Eden, Tau Ceti, offer the culture til your assignment is complete.” his attache case until he came to a
Ceti, I snapped at this wager like
opportunity of the cities of Earth, “I’m aware of that sir, but—”
a starving dog latching onto a piece file-folder which he looked through
then we’ll have migration on a so- “But what, Mr. Reed?” meticulously for several minutes
have lost, it would appear,
of steak. I
cial level instead of the malcon- as a carefully con-
which is only one dinner. But, Mr. if justifying
tents, rugged individualists, and "DEED said, “Sir, may I speak
Reed, when I accepted this wager. sidered opinion. Finally he made a
petty lawbreakers who’ve been without annoying you?” on the margin
Commander Briggs compounded it lightly pencilled note
given the alternative of migration you’ve something to say, go
“If
by offering to bet me a dinner for oi one page and said, “Lalande
instead of incarceration. ahead. I can hardly promise not to the whole Bureau of Resarch that 25372!”
“Now, Mr. Reed, do you see be annoyed before I hear what after not finding the flaw by means Junior Spaceman Howard Reed
what I‘m driving at? It would be the subject is.” I
of the academic analysis, you’d re- gasped and blurted, “Flatbush,
far wiser of you to spend your time “Thank you, sir. In trying to ^sort to experiment in hardware. sir?”
enhancing the aspect of Ekien, Tau solve Hansen’s Folly I engaged in Knowing full well that you’d not Commander Breckenridge
Ceti, than trying to figure out ways some physical experiment and have the temerity to divert Service nodded curtly. “You will man the
and means of getting to more dis- measurement because I couldn’t Materiel for your own tinkering, I perimeter alien-spacecraft detec-
tant stars and locating other dis- find any flaw in the mathematical '•accepted that wager also. Then to tion station and the astrogation
tant planets —
to which the hu- argument on the abstract scale. As top it off, Briggs added a bet of beacon distance and direction
man race wouldn’t migrate.” you know, sir, one of the ways to champagne and corsages for the equipment located on Flatbush,
“But sir-” find out why something won’t work officers’ wives that you’d complete Lalande 25372. And you will stay
“Mr. Reed, I recognize in you is to try it. It isn’t often the easiest your hardware and still not locate there until you have Hansen’s
the admirable spirit of adventure. or the simplest, but it is often the the flaw, and that when I arrived Folly completely solved. Do you
But we must remember that this only way.” you’d be firmly convinced that Understand?”
same spirit that once drove men “So go on. What happened?” you’d proved your point in theory Junior Spaceman Howard Reed
to land on Earth’s moon in a multi- “Sir, my hardware works. So far and practice and that therefore nodded unhappily.
stage chemical rocket was not as I can see, sir, there is no flaw! you were right and the rest of the Lalande 25372 was close to the

enough to establish a tax-paying I was right!” known universe was wrong.” maximum range, the seventeen-

colony there. Now, about this “Commander Briggs of Re- light-year point of no return. Any
project of yours. You say that you search —” ^|''HE commander took a deep enjoyment in knowing that he
there must be some mis- breath under which he swore would have to be commissioned
have not yet located the flaw in “Sir,
gently but feelingly. Then he went one of the finer, more efficient little
Hansen’s Folly?” take.”
“Silence! I’m not through! Com- on: “And so, Mr. Reed, I am going spacecraft in order to get there in
“No, sir, but—”
“Mr. Reed, you realize thatyou’ll mander Briggs seems to know
GALAXY THE TROUBLEMAKERS 169
168
f

the first place was completely usual pre-marriage apartment?” » I turned on the speaker in her bed- and another personality that re-
wiped out in the knowledge that “Oh yes. They were quite the room it sounded like the same kind quires a tranquil atmosphere to
I

conventional young lovers. Scholar of music as I’d heard in her bed- normal. Place them both in the
once there, it would have to stand ,

inert awaiting his return,because Ross.” room when she was living at home. tranquilizing environment and he
therewould be no power to spare The man from the Department It — frankly — depressed me.” is driven deeper into his lethargy,

on side trips. One did not, with of Domestic Tranquility smiled. “And Bertram’s?” probably to the point of complete
subatomic power, carry a spare can “And you, of course, were the con- “I know less of his medication. physical and intellectual torpor.
of fuel for emergency. ventional parents of the affianced But I did listen to his music outlet. Place them both in the stimulating
bride?” Itremoved the feeling of depres- atmosphere and he becomes nor-
VI “Of course. We were so pleased sion I’d gotten from Gloria’s pro- mal while she goes into transports
that we could hardly wait for gram material.” of sensuous excitement. This ex-
Twelfth Night.” “That’s quite right. It sounds plains it!”
IVT RS. Hanford opened the door
“And during that visit, were the reasonable.” “Explains what?” demanded Mr.
and saw Scholar Ross. She
smiled xmcertainly at him as she appointments of the apartment Hanford.
invited him in. In the Hanford proper?” HE blushed again and looked “Her recent behavior. Or rather
livingroom, in the presence of Mr. “Why, Scholar Ross!” S at her husband. “Only one escapade.”
Hanford, the scholar of genetics “No, no, Mrs. Hanford, you mis- thing,” she said very slowly. None of them heard the gentle
looked around cautiously and ques- understand. T implied no moral ‘What’s that?” snick of the lock in the front door.
“I — er, hardly know how to put “Escapade?”
tingly. Hanford said, “Gloria is question. I really meant to ask if exclaimed Mrs.
not here. She’s out.” you knew whether Gloria and Ber- it. You see, when Gerald and I Hanford.
“Then I may speak openly.” tram each and separately were were affianced, neither one of us “We didn’t know that she was in
were undergoing any kind of cor- any trouble,” said Mr. Hanford.
“Of course. Is there some trou- properly continuing their therapy.”
rective therapy and so I don’t know
ble —
again?” Mr. Hanford grunted. “As par- “That’s just the point,” said
“Frankly, I’m not certain,” said ents of the affianced bride,” he said,
how these things work out.” Scholar Ross. “Your daughter has
the scholar of genetics slowly. “I’d “we’re paying for it!” ‘What are you driving at?” the infuriating habit of indulging
like more information if you’d be Mrs. Hanford blushed. “I — er — “Why, Scholar Ross, with neither in outrageous behavior under the

so good as to help.” snooped,” she said. of us undergoing corrective ther- name of brilliant intellectual ac-
apy, it didn’t matter which one of complishment.”
“Of course we’ll h^lp!” ex- Scholar Ross looked at Mrs.
the bedrooms we used.” Gloria Hanford “Why,
claimed Mrs. Hanford. “What’s Hanford with an expression that said,
Scholar Ross considered for a thank you, sir!”
bothering you?” indicated that snooping was an en-
acceptable form of social
moment and then nodded. “Of She dropped the scholar a deep
“How is your daughter getting tirely
course,” he said with an air of com- curtsey, displaying several inches
on with Bertram Harrison?” behavior. “And what did you
plete finality.
“Thafs it!” of slender ankle.
“Why, I’d guess they’re getting find?” .

along about as well as any other “Everything entirely right.” Then ‘What’s asked Mr. Hanford.
it?” “Gloria!” demanded her mother.
young pre-marriage couple. That’s she looked doubtful and bit her “The situation becomes a simple “What have you been up to?”
lower lip. “Scholar Ross, I’m no au- matter of reduction to the law of Gloria Hanford smiled at her
what the engagement period is for, .

most-active reaction. Look,” he mother in an elfin, yet superior


isn’t it? I mean, it’s been that way thority in these matters. In Gloria’s
said, “we have one personality that manner. “I am the affianced bride
historically.” bathroom were the same-looking
requires an environment of stimu-
“Yes, you’re right,” nodded kind of bottles and pills that we of Bertram Harrison,” she said
Scholar Ross. “Did they rent the got when you prescribed, and when lation to bring him up to normal. softly. “Therefore my behavior.

170 GALAXY THE TROUBLEMAKERS

i
whether good, bad, or indifferent, five o’clock it is considered shock-
he is. It started with his taking my C CHOLAR Ross said, “Gloria, do
isno longer the problem of my par- ing to display more than the bare
and that was all right, I guess.
pills you intend to continue this sort
ents.” face and hands.
But when he started sleeping in of self-centered, artificial life after
father said, “Gloria, I hap-
Her “So in order to combine the max-
my bedroom so that he could esti- you and Bertram are married?”
pen to be big enough in both the imum shock-effect with the cloak vate under the tranquilizing music “I’ve given the future very little
physical and intellectual depart- of utter authenticity. Miss Han-
program you prescribed for me, thought.”
ments to overrule both you and ford researched the styles and that was too much!” “You always have,” said Scholar
your husband-to-be. So you’ll an- fashions until she located a brief Scholar Ross looked unprece- Ross tmhappily. “That’s been a lot
swer your mother.” period of a few scant months late dentedly astonished. “So?” he de- ofyour trouble.”
“Why,” said Gloria quietly, “I’ve in the Twentieth Century. Her cos-
manded. “So what am I supposed to do?
done nothing wrong.” tume consisted of a many-fold vol-
“What do you mean ‘so?’ What Do you really expect me to marry
Mr. Hanford said to Scholar uminous skirt of semi-transparent
would any red blooded woman do? that vegetable? I’ve got a life to
Ross: “Whafs your side of this?” material that draped in graceful
I moved out and into his bedroom, lead too, you know. It may suit
Scholar Ross said, “Last week folds from waist to mid-calf. She naturally.” your overall program of genetics
the Westchester Young People’s was completely nude above the “And then started taking his to breed a batch of normal chil-
Club gave a costume ball. The waist! To prove her point, she of- medication?” asked Scholar Ross dren, but the same Book of Laws
young ladies were to attend this fered fashion stereos of the period curtly. grants me the right to seek my own
affair adorned in the authentic from style magazines.” “Natch!” level of happiness.”
fashion of some period in the past, Gloria chuckled. “I might have “Oh, my God!” exploded Scholar “Granted—”
and a prize was to be awarded to researched back to the Old Testa- Ross. He eyed Gloria intently. ‘Well, scholar, I can tell you that
the most novel, yet completely ment,” she said. “How do you manage to get Ber- my idea of happiness is not a hus-
authentic costume.” Scholar Ross shook his head. tram awake far enough to attend band who comes into my bedroom
“And,” said Gloria with a smile, “As I say, her shocking behavior things like your costume ball?” he walking like a somnambulist just
“I won!” could not be criticized. She could asked. barely able to cross the room be-
“Your daughter won because justify it according to the rules.” “Well,” she said with a smile, “I fore collapsing like a loosely-
she has a talent for performing the Mr. Hanford shook his head and am really strong enough to sling a packed sandbag.”
most shocking deeds under a cloak asked, “Gloria,what did Bertram hundred and eighty-five pounds of “What you need,” said Scholar
of intellectual achievement.” think of all this?” loosely-stuffed sausage over my Ross firmly, “is a man who is strong
“Do go on. Scholar Ross. What “Bertram carried the style ster- shoulder in a fireman’s carry and enough to tell you what you’re go-
did Gloria do?” eos,” said Gloria. “There wasn’t tote the inert mass back to its own ing to do.”
any pocket in my costume.” bedroom so that its own music will “And where are you going to
^HE scholar smiled wryly. Abruptly, Scholar Ross said, rouse it enough to reach for its find one?”
“Style and fashion ceased to be “Miss Hanford, how are you and bedside bottles of medication. Na- Scholar Ross turned from Gloria
logical when clothing was designed Bertram getting along?” ture then takes its course until the to her parents. “Obviously,” he said
for sly provocation rather than as a' “As well as could be expected.” awakening. Then he goes along regretfully, “this proposed mar-
protection against a harsh environ- “Meaning what?” with my desires—because he knows riagebetween your daughter and
ment,” he said. ‘We live in a “Meaning that each of us lives that if he doesn’t, I won’t let him Bertram Harrison is not going to
mixed-up social world. We encour- our own life. Berty likes his seden- dive back into his complete inertia. culminate in a happy tmion.”
age communal swimming and sun tary, torpid existence. In fact, he’d It’s very simple. Of course, it isn’t “Did you expect it to?” asked
bathing in the nude — and yet after like to be more of a vegetable than much fun.” Gloria.

172 GALAXY THE TROUBLEMAKERS 173

1
the patient’s appreciation of people, “Why, that’s no better than
“I had hopes. I can only propose Scholar Ross said regretfully,
places, and events into conformity. white slavery}” cried her mother.
a course of action. Were yOu will- “There is another way, of course,
Events of the former life are not “Oh, come now!” said Scholar
ing to embark upon your pre- but either way is essentially a loss
erased, but they are viewed as if Ross. “Miss Hanford will receive a
scribed program of coirective ther- of your daughter, Mrs. Hanford.”
the patient had seen a trivideo home and a hard-working husband
apy, and so become a normally ac- Mr. Hanford said, “And what is
drama instead of having been that on a fine new world with unlimited
tiveand emotionally staUe woman, this other course. Scholar Ross?”
person. The entire list of friends opportunities.”
then the marriage might work out “It’s called re-orientation.”
and acquaintances is changed be- Gloria Hahford snorted. “The
” “Brain-washing!” exclaimed
very well indeed cause the patient’s personality is so term, ‘unlimited opportunit3^ is
“It’s all my fault, of iedurse?” Gloria.
different that the former friends no just the optimist’s way of describ-
“Yes. Of course. The decision “That’s a harsh, colloquial term.”
longer have anything in common ing a situation that the pessimist
was yours to make.” Mrs. Hanford said, “How does with the patient. It will be,” said would call, ‘l?^ck of modern con-
“And how about tiiat lump of this re-orientation work?”
Scholar Ross, “exactly as if your veniences.’”
lard you’ve foisted pff on me?” Coldly, as if he were discussing
daughter left you, never to return, ‘Well, Miss Hanford, you have
“Bertram Harrison’s willing re- the repair of some inanimate en-
and then next year you are intro- your choice. One of three. Correc-
treat into total lethargy is, of gine, Scholar Ross said, “It starts
duced to a strange woman who tive therapy and marriage with
course, his own decision. But it, too, with corrective surgery on the pitu-
bears a complete resemblance to Bertram Hnsrisoo; total re-orienta-
is only another aspi^t of the usual itary and thyroid glands. Next
your daughter. To whom,” he tion; or migration to Eden, Tau
case. The strong-willed personality comes some very complicated
added, “you eventually become Cetii I’ll not ask for your decision
makes its own way. The weak one neuro-cerebral surgery, somewhat
emotionally attached because of now. Give me your answer within
follows.” resembling the crude, primitive
1
your daughter’s memory.” thirty days.”
“I see,” sneered Gloria, all process once called ‘Prefrontal
j'lt’s
“It sounds pretty drastic.” “ Y ou can’t force me!”
my fault!” t Lobotomy’. Nowadays it produces
“I shall not fool you. It is drastic, “No. I can’t. All I can do is to
“Of course it is,** snapped Scholar the desired effect without all of the
indeed.” point out your three avenues of
Ross. “Were you willing to correct deleterious side-effects. Then, once
“I don’t like it,” Gloria snapped. future travel and then point out
yourself, you’d also have been will- the patient is completely disori-
“Yes,” pleaded Mrs. Hanford. that I do have the means of making
ing to correct Bei^tram since yours ented, the process of re-education
‘What is the alternative?” your life so very inconvenient that
isthe stronger personality.” takes place. The patient is ex-
“E!den, Tau Ceti. I’ll arrange have no recourse but to make
you’ll
“So what’s the next move? Do I tremely docile and highly impres-
transportation under the migration your choice from among the three
get to try another dolt?” sionable. All decisions carry the
act, and she’ll be permitted two desirable possibilities. Desirable, I
“Hardly. You’d do the same with same weight — ” hundred pounds of gross.” Scholar must admit, means that which is
any of them.” “How do you mean that?” asked Ross smiled thinly. “You can diet most favorable to the furtherance
“So what is it? Am
I going to be Mr. Hanford. a few pounds off and thus increase of domestic tranquility!”
exported to Edeji, Tau Ceti as an ‘Why, the decision to use blue or the net weight of your allowable
incorrigible?” black ink in your fountain pen be- he said. “But, on the
possessions,” VII
Scholar Ross Was Silent. comes as important as the decision other hand, if you diet down to rail-
of whether to cling or jump from a
skinny no one will take a chance T ALANDfi 25372
is a Spectral
1%/f R. Hanford sard, "Certainly damaged
-1-*-^
there must be anbther Way?” “Oh.
aircar.”
And then?”
on you.” Class Mstar, a faint red dwarf
Gloria demanded belligerently, not visible to the naked eye from
Mrs. Hanford said, “Must I lose “Why, since the patient is docile “What am I, a raffle prize?” Earth, Sol. Lalande 25372 lies fif-
my daughter?” and impressionable, we can mold
THE TROUBLEMAKERS 175
174 GALAXY '

i
''
teen point nine light years froni black. Fluffy clouds floated across Someday there might be an- level of modern technical conveni-
Sol, about fifteen degrees north of the sky, but they rained down a other Marie Celeste plying its ences.
the celestial equator and not quite mess that etched stainless steel. course with its crew inexplicably Like them — having been unable
opposite the vernal equinox. It has Out There, near the perimeter missing. But if this ever happened, to locate the flaw in Hansen’s Folly
planets, but this does not make of Man’s five-parsec range of oper- itwas not going to happen without by the theoretical approach during
Lalande 25372 unique. Like most ations, subelectromagnetic detec- the Space Service knowing pre- his tour ofduty on Earth, Sol, and
of the planets foimd in space, tor beams scoured the sky. Taking ciselyhow many and which space- having similarly failed to locate the
neither mad dogs nor Englishmen the most pessimistic standpoint — craftwere operating through that error in experimental hardware
would have anything to do with the least possible combinations of volume of space before, during, and during his tour of duty on Eden,
them — willingly. They are suit- Nature’s infinite variety of envi- after D-for-Disaster Day and M- Tau Ceti — Junior Spaceman
ronment — Nature’s own profligacy
.

able only for the hapless wight for-Mysterious Minute. Howard Reed began to experiment
whose erring foot has unhappily with life-forms still demanded that The equipment, of course, was on the spacecraft that stood parked
landed on the tender official toe. somewhere. Out There, another automated to modem perfection, on its launching pad two hundred
The planet Flatbush, Lalande race was plying the spaceways. with multi-lateral channels that feet from the Installation. There
25372, received its name from an Someday this hypothetical race would take over in case of com- was plenty of equipment to work
I

obscure medieval reference to a was certain to touch wings with ponent failure. Its factor of relia-
[
with. The Space Service did not
form of punishment known as mankind. bility was well above six or seven

stock its perimeter stations in a
“Walking a beat in Flatbush,” if When that took place it was the : nines of perfection. But to admit slipshod manner.
we are to believe MacClelland’s duty of the Bureau of Operations that this perfection was adequate
Furthermore, Junior Spaceman
authoritative volume The Origin to detect them, to intercept them, would have deprived the Space Howard Reed had plenty of time.
of PlaceNames. and to warn the men of Earth, Sol, Service of a convenient minor
Mankind was no longer alone.
The account of his life and ad-
Observed through the multipane that penal detail to take care of brash
ventures is hardly worth telling.
window of the Station, Flatbush, The fact that the subelectromag- junior officers. Manning such a sta-
netic detecting beams had been
He had no distractions. He worked
Lalande 25372, was a pleasant tion provided the junior officer with The months passed one after the
enough planet, provided one could sweeping space for a couple of hun- a wealth of time to contemplate his other.
ignore the fact that there was not dred years without detecting any- sins, and to mend his evil ways.
Flatbush, Lalande 25372 was so
a sign nor trace of vegetation from thing had no bearing on the future.
In the case of Junior Spaceman far out that there was no provision
the Installation Building to the The beams must be maintained so Howard Reed, this process con- made for a regular tour of inspec-
horizon. A couple of himdted yards long as a human man remained sisted of locating the flaw that pre- tion. Nobody bothered to drop in
from the building there was a alive in space.
vented Hansen’s Folly from being on Junior Spaceman Howard
pleasant looking lake. The lake In addition to the detector Hansen’s Analysis.
:

Reed. Gabbling on the official com-


was indeed water, but it contained beams, the outlying planets car-
munication channels was strictly
dissolved substances that would ried astrogation beacons. They
IV OW, from the time of Alexan- forbidden, so the young junior offi-
have poisoned a boojum snark. were subelectromagnetic light- ’ der Selkirk, romantic history
V cer was denied even contact by
The warm wind of Flatbush rip- houses, so to speak, that rang across has been dotted with accounts of voice. No one had come up with an
pled the surface of the lake, but no space with known direction and ^
men who have been cast away with
:
economically sound means of pro-
square yard of sail would be ranging telemetered signals. Some- nothing more than their hands and ducing entertainment programs
hoisted until someone first built a day, Man hoped to fill the space I
1 their brains. And with these, they
from Earth, Sol, on the subelectro-
gas mask that would filter out the lanes with spacecraft and the plan- have succeeded in raising their

magnetic beams and so he — like


colorless gases that turned silver ets with interstellar commerce. caveman environment up to the his fellows in the other perimeter

176 GALAXY |THE TROUBLEMAKERS


177

I
stations — received neither news and deep frozen after all waste had Ships have gone out and off and Whereupon Jimior Spaceman
nor music from home. been removed, then compressed away and have never been heard Howard Reed ffiopped his tools.
He could terminate this tour of into cubes of identical size for the of again. It is possible that one or He donned space suit and
his
most favorable packing fraction. more of these have succeeded in crossed the intervening space to
duty only by solving the riddle of
Even so, it was a prodigious locating an Earth-like planet be- the droneship.
Hansen’s Folly, and then notifying
his superiors on the official com- amount of stuff. Supply would yond the point of no return, but He began to examine the ship’s

munications channels — or by tuck- have been impossible on a once- the Earthmen at home will never rimning gear with a critical and
ing a note in the once-each-year per-year basis, if the foul water of know about it until the range is suspicious eye.

supply drone that came laden with Flatbush, Lalande 25372, hadn’t extended. The possibility of such He wasexamining hardware
been distillable with ease. a planet favoring human life and that was familiar to him. It took
enough of Earth’s environment to
ultimately harboring a culture of him no more than two hours to
keep the young expatriate alive for
he technical competence enough to determine beyond a shadow of a
another year.
The set-up was wholly condu-
T junior spaceman eyed the
droneship with a sudden burst create and maintain the power re-
storing equipment extremely
doubt that the droneship’s drive
was built along the theories and
cive to work. There was time and of pride in his fellow man’s ac- is

complishment. Given a pre-pro- remote. mathematical analysis that he had


there was equipment; his orders
grammed along telemetered For spacecraft that carry women been told simply did not work!
were to remain there imtil he had flight
beacons originating at either termi- are few and far between. Someone had reduced Hansen’s
studied his way through the prob-
lem. .
nus, the rimning equipment within And it takes more than one Folly to practice!
the drone would bulk much less man’s lifetime to make use of the
With nothing else to do, Junior
Spaceman Howard Reed was deep than the same mass and size as a •knowhow. XT E paused again. Hansen’s
when the human and his needs. Until flight- Junior Spaceman Howard Reed Folly had been called a fail-
in his investigation . . .

drone spacecraft came down along decisions were necessary, the hard- knew that away back in the Twen- ure about two hundred years ago,
the subelectromagnetic beacon and ware pilot was as good as the human tieth Century, the average engineer but what did that really mean? He
made its landing a dozen yards pilot — and far less subject to head- could make a guess, coimt on his considered his history.
away. ache, tantrum, disappointment at fingers,and come up with a pretty In 1724, Stephen Gray and
The drone was standard space- not getting the Saturday night pass shrewd estimate of the horsepower Granville Wheeler made the proud
craft size, an unmanned hull laden and resentment over being passed per cubic inch that could be stored announcement that they had suc-
with the necessities of life that by at promotion time. by the various ways and means ceeded in transmitting an electri-
Then gave way to sud- available to the age. phenomenon along a wire for
would support him for a year. his pride cal
It was the first one that he had den, prolonged thought. Removing the human pilot and a distance of 682 feet. Two hun-
The range of a spacecraft com- his needs did give the droneship
ever seen. This was the first time is dred years later the entire Earth
that Junior Spaceman Howard puted from point of takeoff to point quite a bit more space for cargo was girdled with telegraph, tele-
Reed had had to face the problem of no return. There was no way of and power. But, as he looked at the phone and cable wires and linked
of Supply. Packed in that drone- restoring the powerbanks of a droneship standing there, it be- with the invisible bonds of radio
ship was enough earth environ- spacecraft except on Earth, Sol. came plain to Junior Spaceman waves.
ment to last a man a year. The Now, of course, it is entirely pos- Howard Reed that there was not In about 1904 the Wright Broth-
perishables and expendables, as sible to take off and just keep going room in that size of hull for both ers made their first powered air-
well as replacement for the lost until the powerbanks are depleted. the necessary powerbanks and the plane flight. Forty years later men
fractions of the recyclables, were That will cover twice the stated full year’s store of supplies for one were flying in airplanes that car-
all there. They were dehydrated range to the point of no return. man. ried a wingspread greater than the

178 qALAXY THE TROUBLEMAKERS 179


turned to lean back against it She scribed for this philandering young
distance of the Wright’s first flight. did not even bother going back to
the Station. Its Outside detectors faced her vmexpected guests with hussy—”
Einstein’s Barrier was accepted
had been sweeping deep space for an air of exasperated patience, as “I’m no philanderer!” cried
scientific dogma for a hundred
a couple of hundred years without if by her silence she was inviting Gloria. “I’m not married to your
years; but he, Howard Reed, was
detecting anything; its astrobea- them to hurl the first bolt and by cold lump of lard!”
now standing in a spacecraft that
gulf between the cons were employed once each her attitude confident that she Scholar Ross spead out his hands
had crossed the
year when the droneship arrived. could turn it aside with ease. in a gesture of supplication, as if
stars at a speed that not only ex-
Furthermore, both equipments She did not have long to wait. he were pleading with the gods for
ceeded the velocity of propagated
light — but exceeded this speed by were automatic, on the trips, set up They all started to talk at once. a return to sanity. “Stop it!” he
to bypass the one-man crew of the The resulting babble was unintel- cried. “Stop it!”
a few hundred orders of magnitude.
Station by transmitting the infor- ligible and the sound of the others’
So? So maybe they were right. them
made each one stop
Maybe
failure.
Hansen’s Folly was a mation on the regular Channels.
So, there in the droneship, the
voices
without Silence
finishing.
of
fell

again, and in the calm, Scholar


He turned to Mrs. Hanford with
a shake of theliead. “I am sor-
But the running gear in this junior spaceman merely discon- ry. Your resentment of the fact that
Ross spoke up your daughter’s respon-
droneship was designed to the nected the pre-programmed auto- this affair is
“Under the circumstances. Miss
analysis produced by Junior Space- pilot, clamped his hands around sibility is not going to change it.”
Hanford, I think we have the right
man Howard Reed, and it worked. the manual gear, and took off for “But he’s-”
to ask that you explain your
Furthermore, he had only the far-off Earth, Sol. “Please, Mrs. Hanford. This en-
actions.”
scornful word of Commander gagement is not a matter of the per-
Mr. Harrison grimted. “I say
Briggs of the Bureau of Research VIII sonal choice of the participants. It
this is a waste of time. Let’s get
that his arguments had been paral- gravely concerns Society. Now, in-
along with it.”
loria
lel to

It
those of the hapless Hansen.
would hardly be the first time G Hanford opened her
apartment door, made a dou-
Mrs. Harrison added, “Yes in-
deed, Scholar Ross. If you’ll call
sofar as the
tic Tranquility
Department
is
ofDomes-
concerned, it is

in the history of the human race ble take when she saw the living the excitable, headstrong, unruly,
the authorities, we’ll sign the com-
thatsome bureaucrat got fat on the room lights were on, toted up the plaint.” willful personality that is danger-
work of his cmderlings who not list of unexpected guests, and as- ous to social stability. The calm
Mrs. Hanford snapped, “I re-
only received no credit for their sessed the situation in one brief my
daugh- and placid ones do not commit acts
sent the implication that
work, but were often hushed, hid- moment. She stopped short on one ter is wholly and solely in the of violence. Indeed, Mrs. Hanford,
den, or otherwise prevented from high heel, pivoted, and said to her wrong.” were it not for the quiet, phleg-
proving their right to the fame and escort, “Not tonight, Joseph!” Mr. Hanford said, “In my opin- matic like Bertram
personality
fortune. “But-” ion,Bertram Harrison isn’t bright Harrison, we in genetics would
Angrily,Howard Reed stood up 'Tve guests,” she said, placing a enough to come in out of the rain, have a hard time finding a useful
and cursed. They were not going hand flat on her escort’s chest. let alone being smart enough to niche for belligerents such as your
to smother him in a peg-whittling “But-” know what’s good for him. Now — ” daughter Gloria.”
job on a single-man p>ost sixteen “My guests mean trouble,” she Mr. Harrison growled, “We Gloria Hanford said something
light years from home base, denied finished, shoving. Her escort disap- come calling this evening and find under her breath. Scholar Ross
of all but official communications. peared — walking backward and our son deep under the influence eyed her suspiciously and de-
He was going to find out about trying to protest
still of tranquilizers and the catalytic manded that she repeat.
this very strange business! Gloria closed the loving room action of the mood music pre- “Cliche Sixteen,” she retorted.
Junior Spaceman Howard Reed door with a gesture of finality, then

THE TROUBLEMAKERS 181


180 GALAXY
“It pertains to tiie problem of lead- gullible citizens who are attracted.” your duty — to do eversdhing you was, “I shall sign my complaints in
ing horses to water.” “Meaning?”
can to establish a firm and stable the morning— or if he is able, we’ll
He nodded. “Yes. The horse is “Meaning,” said Mr. Harrison,
family unit here with Bertram Har- make it thoroughly legal and have
laudably exercising as much free “that Miss Hanford in this pre-mar-
rison—” Bertram sign them.”
will as his equine position permits riage apartment did maintain a
“Sorry, Scholar Ross,” said Mr. He closed the door firmly.
him. The same platitude can also series of attractive nuisances. Tran-
Harrison icily. “You haven’t really Mrs. Hanford wailed, “Now
be employed to point out that blind quilizer pills. Soothing mood mu-
heard me. Your notion that this af- what shall we do?”
stubbornness may prevent him sic. A person of calm tendencies
fair is a civil argument between an Scholar Ross shook his head.
from doing something that is real- would find them most attractive.
affianced couple is not true. You “With this poor record, this non-
ly a good idea even if someone else Itwas therefore her responsibility imply that no laws have been cooperation,” he said slowly, “it will
did think of it first.” to protect the other party. Now — broken. You are wrong. I am will- be well nigh impossible to arrange
“I say enough of this nonsense!” when Bertram has been properly
ing to sign a complaint right now another union. iFurthermore, if
snapped Mr. Harrison. “Let’s get treated and is able to testify —
that Miss Gloria Hanford deliber- Harrison carries out his threat—”
this debate over with!” I think we’ll find that Miss Hanford
ately induced my son to indulge in Gloria said quickly, “If he wants
“Now, just a moment,” said not only failed to protect Bertram,
her therapy. It was her means of to, he can talk Bertie into anything.
Scholar Ross. “You have no legal but indeed encouraged him to help
lulling him into a state of mind that Anything. Such as signing the most
standing. Miss Hanford is Bertram himself to her pills and sleep in her
would permit her to go gallivanting complaints and being con-
frightful
Harrison’s affianced wife. Under bedroom under the soothing influ-
off on a date with another man.” vinced of their absolute truth and
law, any difficulties between them ence of the mood music prescribed
“I am not married to Berty yet!” justice.”
are strictly a civic matter. Bluntly, for her.”
snapped Gloria. “Dating’s still my Mr. Hanford said, “If that’s true,
sir,only the party being damaged
right!” he could also be talked back out
can sign a complaint, and after
making a complaint it is up to the
complaining party to prove that he
M r. Hanford snapped, “If this
attractive nuisance is as you
say, Harrison, why can’t we charge
grily,
“Oh,” snarled Mr. Harrison an-
“shut up or I’ll sign a com-
of them.”
Scholar Ross shook his head
plaint that you administered medi- again. “That presupposes that you
is being damaged at the will of the that Bertram did little to protect
cal treatment without a license! In- could arrange access to Bertram
accused.” Gloria from his own therapy?”
sofar as the Harrison family is con- that couldn’t be overcome by an-
“Scholar Ross, you and your De- Scholar Ross raised a hand. “Per-
cerned, this engagement shall be other talking-to by his parents. It
partment of Domestic Tranquility mit me,” he said, “to reiterate that
terminated unfavorably. Come!” he won’t work. The young man is a
may know how you hope to main- it is the hypertonic, overactive
said to his wife. She rose to follow. mental weathervane.”
tain a calm and stable social struc- p>ersonalities that create social
Gloria stepped aside, but paused “So where do we stand?”
ture, but you don’t know much troubles. A Bertram Harrison
to ask, “Aren’t you going to take “As I say, we might as well pre-
about the law,” said Mr. Harrison lulled into a semi-cataleptic state
Bertie with you?” pare for the worst. If the case of
slowly and carefully. “One only by the wiles of a Gloria Hanford
Mrs. Hanford said coldly, “He’s Gloria Hanford ever comes under
need go back to the early days of would hardly be expected to rise
already been taken to the hospital the scrutiny of the Law, she will be
common law to find a rather terse in a sudden burst of strength.”
for treatment to bring him out of declared either a delinquent or
discussion of the proposition of “So no matter what I do, I’m
the trance you got him into. And an incorrigible, depending upon
maintaining an attractive nuisance. wrong?” the girl asked.
so. Miss Hanford, will you please whether her escapades are ruled
The owner of the attractive “Not at all,” said Scholar Ross.
step aside and let me pass?” misdemeanors or felonies.” Scholar
nuisance has a responsibility to the “It is your direct responsibilty —
And Mr. Harrison’s parting shot Ross turned to Gloria Hanford. “I

182 GALAXY THE TROUBLEMAKERS 183


“That is a serious charge, young “Your service record,” explained
warned you. Now, where we of the of the Space Service Bureau of Jus-
man.” the commander, picking up a read-
Department of Domestic Tran- tice. He smiled at the junior space- “I can substantiate it! Look, sir, ing prism and starting at the top.
quility have no power to force you man but shook his head. “You
quite a long time ago I made some “Just another moment.”
into a proper course of action, you’ll would place us in a most difficult
and—”
scientific studies, Another half dozen minutes
find that the Law most certainly position were we to heed your plea
“You’re an Operations officer, went past.
has. Miss Hanford, the Law will without having the matter referred “
Mr. Reed?” ‘JuniorSpaceman Howard
decide just how dangerous you are to us through official channels.”
“Yes, but-” Reed,’ ” the commander read quiet-
to the civic peace. Upon that de- With some exasperation, Reed “
“Then you’re not trained in sci- ly at last, ‘has^ an exemplary rec-
cision, the law will further decide said, “Look, sir, I’ve been subject
ence?” ord.’ That is Commander Brecken-
what action it must take to protect to a severe injustice. Why can’t I
on that
“Let’s not go rat-race ridge’s opinion, if we are to believe
that civic peace from you.” at least tell my problem to some-
right now,” said the junior space- what we read in this record. Oh,
He paused. A silence followed one?”
man heard before.
testily. “I’ve it perhaps, he thought, a bit head-
his statements. He
waited a few “That would be cutting across
That’s why I’m here!” strong and mildly argumentative,
moments to let his words sink in. channels. It simply is not done.”
“Very well.” factors which he considered bal-
Then he walked to the door and “Commander Hughes,” said the
Junior Spaceman Howard Reed anced by a faculty for deep con-
said: junior spaceman earnestly, “you’re
took a deep breath and plunged centration.”
“As of now, the future of Miss not serving justice. You’re ob-
into his long explanation. At the “And how about my being trans-
Gloria Hanford is out of my hands.” structing it!”
end, Commander Hughes nodded, ferred to Eden, Tau Ceti? And
Mr. Hanford said, “Scholar Ross, “Now see here, young man—”
his face in a non-committal mask. then to Flatbush, Lalande 25372?”
how bad is this likely to be?” “Commander Hughes, you’re in-
“One moment now,” he said. He Reed demanded.
“A lot will depend upon how sisting that I request my superior
turned to the working desk behind ‘“Reasons for transfer,’” read
swiftly Bertram Harrison responds officer to forward through official
channels a complaint against him.
him and spoke into a telephone. Commander Hughes from the rec-
to the restorative treatment. With
It had neither visual plate nor am- ord. “‘Junior Spaceman Howard
some luck and a brilliant attorney First, sir, I point out that he would
on your side the matter might not refuse my
request unless he were
plified output; only the user could Reed ambitious and overactive.
is

reach a major catastrophe. Tomor- absolutely certain that my case


know what was being communi- In the considered opinion of Com-
cated, and with whom. mander Breckenridge, he will
row may tell.” againsthim was ridiculously weak.
Second, I’m certain that the re-
“Now we’ll see,” said the com- make a fine superior officer once
IX quest would bring quick retalia-
mander as he hung up the tele- his duty-experience has the proper
phone. breadth.’ ” The commander looked
tion.”
UNIOR Spaceman Howard Commander Hughes shook his
up and waved a hand at the length

J Reed said plaintively, “But this head. “The Regulation provides TJ^ITH
** stopped
the awkwardness of a
drama they
of stereofac. The fasces wrought in
trivideo gold above the stripes glittered in
isthe Bureau of Justice. According that any reasonable request be for-
stood and sat there motionless and the light “Were not for the Regu-
it
to the Regulations you are sup- warded. And the Regulation fur-
posed to listen to me, at least.” ther provides that there shall be no
silently as the minutes dragged lations against permitting a jvmior

The space officer behind the punitive action.”


past.Ultimately there was a gen- officer to inspect his own service
desk wore the three wide stripes of Reed snorted. “Fine. And if I do tle alarm ring from one of the record,” said Commander Hughes
desk drawers. Commander Hughes with a smile, “I’d let you see for
the commander’s rank, topped by find myself punished, must I next
the fasces that symbolized the law. forward my request for investiga- opened it to extract a couple of yourself that nowhere on this rec-

He was Commander Hughes, chief tion through the same officer?” yards of stereofac paper. ord is there a single word that cor-

184 GALAXY THE TROUBLEMAKERS 185


roborates your suggestion. Your made by me
a technical suggestion tions. I was told my ideas were “And justice you’ll get!” retorted
tour of duty on Flatbush, Lalande some years ago does not prove a worthless.” Commander Hughes. “First, Mr.
25372, and your earlier transfer thing.” “In other words, the Bureau of Reed,let me ask how you obtained
to Eden, Tau Ceti, were merely the “Can you prove that you made Research says it wouldn’t work?” permission to leave your post on
standard tour of duty, granted to any such technical suggestion?” “But look, sir! I drove a space- Flatbush, Lalande 25372, so that
satisfactory jimior officers as a “Yes. Call Commander Briggs of craft all the way from—” you could come to the headquar-
means of properly broadening their the Bureau of Research. Call Com- ters in person to state your plea?
experience.” mander Breckenridge of the Bu- '
I
''
HE Bureau of Justice officer Or was this trip authorized?”
“In other words,” snapped Reed reau of Operations. Demand that held up a hand. “Well, sir — the detector and
angrily, “the fact that Ihave they state under oath, whether I “Look,” said the junior space- beacon stations are completely au-
crossed space in a craft powered by did or did not make such sugges- man angrily, “all I want is justice!” tomated and —
186 GALAXY THE TROUBLEMAKERS 187
“In blunt terms you are absent out of the senior officer’s hands. He has not yet responded to correc- petent meddling.’ So you see, it
without leave?” hauled in on the connecting cord tive therapy.” looks bad.”
“Well, sir-” imtil it came taut, and then he “Not — yet — responded.” she “Maybe
there ought to be some
“Junior Spaceman Howard yanked, ripping the cord from its
repeated slowly. “Just how bad is thoughtful laws passed to protect
Reed, you will consider yourself terminals. Brusquely, he dropped this.Scholar Ross?” we active ones from the dolts and
under personal arrest. We have no the telephone instrument into the “It is quite grave. It’s possible dullards,” said Gloria. “Okay,
alternative but to place you in the commander’s waste basket. there may be cerebral deteriora- Scholar Ross, I’ll take steps!”
custody of the Space Security Po- Then as bells began to ring and tion.” In a flurry of expert motion,
lice. Remain as you were!” corridor horns began to sound, “You mean Bertram might evdh Gloria Hanford dressed, packed,
Like the fabled case of the Junior Spaceman Howard Reed go from bad to worse?” and left.
drowning man. Junior Spaceman left the administration building of “Miss Hanford, will you cease The authorities who came for
Howard Reed reviewed his past in the Bureau of Justice on a dead treating this as if it were a comedy? her hadn’t had enough experience
a single flash before his eyes. In run. Out in the street the wail of You may be defending yourself in dealing with the hypertonic,
the second blink, he covered his a siren began to climb from its
against charges of criminal negli- overactive, fast-thinking, anti-so-
present. It wasn’t to his liking. throaty basso to its ear-splitting gence. It might even get to the cial type.They expected to find a
Having covered his past and dis- ululation. charge of homicide before it’s slightlyfuzzy-minded, still half-
carded his present, he next in- done.” aslumber girl, unable to grasp both
spected his most probable future X “Homicide? But he isn’t dead!” an idea and a dressing gown at the
and came to the almost immediate “Fifth degree homicide,” said same time. They would not have
conclusion that there wasn’t very
much in it for him. He had never
^ LORIA Hanford awoke, as she
always did, with full aware-
Scholar Ross, “comprises the proc-
ess of causing by any means the
equated their notion with the trim,
alert, neatly and completely
heard Napoleon’s statement that ness, like the transition of a small loss of impairment of personality dressed young lady they passed on
God was on the side with the animal from slumber to flight. It or intellect. In layman’s terms, the stairs if it hadn’t been for the
heaviest artillery, but, in his own was not a languid hand that brainwashing.” standard, legal locks on all apart-
way. Junior Spaceman Howard reached for the telephone that had “So?” ment doors. A tiny flag filled a
Reed came to a parallel conclusion. awakened her but an alert one. It “So if I were you I’d dress and small aperture only when the full
Justice was on the side of the flipped the accept button up and be ready for the authorities. Harri- bolt was cast home by a flip of the
heaviest rank. Bitterly, he reflected the vidphone eye button down in son forced a special session of court inside key.
that the reward for a technical sug- a single twisting gesture of thumb last night and had Bertram de- Its absence meant that no one
gestion of great meritwas that they and forefinger. It was not modesty clared as invalid-incommunicado. was inside.
wouldn’t make any trouble for him that caused the turn-down of the Since your engagement was for- The chief of the group forced
— so long as he didn’t try to claim vidphone eye. It was vanity. Gloria mally dissolved, this places Ber- his mental image through a men-
credit for it. Hanford deemed unbrushed teeth, tram’s well-being under the dis- tal photomontage that started with
He came back to his danger- uncombed hair, and imwashed face cretion of his next-of-kin blood the original picture of the half-
ous present quickly. Commander both unacceptable and unattrac- relations. Father Harrison is pre- awakened young woman tossing a
Hughes was talking briskly into his tive. pared to prosecute to the fullest ex- tousle of hair back out of one eye,
secret telephone. “Gloria Hanford here. Go ahead.” tent. He’s even petitioned for the passed through a much-abridged
With a quick gesture, the junior “Scholar Ross calling. Miss Han- right to take action against the version of the process of female
spaceman leaned forward over the ford,you should know so that you Department of Domestic Tran- dressing, and concluded with the
desk and snatched the instrument can be prepared. Bertram Harrison quility for what he calls ‘incom- trim and striking number they’d
188 GALAXY THE TROUBLEMAKERS 189
The Purloined Letter. But now, if hailing distance. She almost took
passed on the stairway. Add im- from public gaze by the camouflag-
ing skycab, the junior spaceman
he were to drive his skycab away it as a personal affront.
portant item: As an accessory,
from the cruising level, he needed But was hardly the time to
this
whistle-baitwas also carrying an proceeded to cruise up the middle
level of Ancient Fifth Avenue,
one more accessory. He had time. stamp her sandals on the hard pave-
overnight bag in one formal-for-
So long as the Military was look- ment or to write letters to the Com-
travelling, white-gloved hand. driving a full eighteen inches be-
memory was low the legal altitude set for
ing for a Military man in Military missioner of Public Carriers.
Nudged, his good. cruis-
surroundingsand in a Military
He hauled his handset out while ing skycabs.
his men were still making dead cer- He
turned on his pocket set to
manner, he was as safe from de- Q HE turned and disappeared into
tection as if he really owned the the tramway entrance heading
on the lock
tain that the little flag listen to the details of the search
skycab he’d commandeered. North along Waterfront Avenue.
meant what it said. By
precisely that was being organized for him.
Above him, all around him, even The civilian police were closer to Her coin had hardly hit the bottom
the time they were convinced that
success. of its slot when the mobile police
the apartment was truly empty and in the subways below him, the vast
Called by the chief of the arrest- converged to land on the spot she’d
the lock bolted from the outside, and efficient organization of the
Military Space Service was con-
ing party who’d arrived at Gloria just vacated. The foremost of them
he had unabashedly reported his
Hanford’s apartment too late by saw her trim figure disappearing in-
failure, and was concluding a very verging. This organization had the
minutes, the minions of Law and to the distance, eclipsed by the
excellent description of the fugi- will and the manpower to scour
Order converged in their civilian myriads of innocent souls whose
tive Gloria Hanford. this city of twenty million people
efficiency. Logistically, it was a only desire was to make use of the
almost literally soul by soul if the
simple matter of hare and hounds. same Northbound Tramway.
XI need be, to locate a young officer
in the uniform of a Junior Space- The hare couldn’t win. Only one The pursuit began to reshape its

question was important: Which of surface of detection from englobe-


^
I
'' HE average citizen, faced with man. He might be driving a Mili-
tary Vehicle, but more likely would
the hounds would? ment to a cylinder, the axis of
an impressive uniform, falls in-
Afoot and by jetcopter that en- which lay congruent with the
to one of two very widely divided be found in one of the many pub-
globed the area, they closed in. Northbound Tramway.
camps. One of these camps contains lic vehicles or public carriers that
those of us who are impressed by the city offered for civilian trans-
By the application of stored memo- Again, she held the advantage
ry and studied information they of knowing her own decision where-
the visible, exalted rank of the portation. There was also the high
erected invisible barriers at every as her pursuit had to divine her
wearer. possibility that Junior Spaceman
exposed point along the most prob- plans by analysis of her actions
So, by the simple process of Howard Reed might be located
able trail of their quarry, from the and making use of extrapolation.
snapping, “Official business!” at afoot on the static sidewalk or on
street outside of her apartment Gloria Hanford abruptly stepped
the driver of a skycab and simul- one of the tramways.
taneously tossing the driver his of- And so, mentally clocking each door to the garage stall in Monti- off the Tramway at Fifty-third,
cello. Then, as a final clincher, they walked briskly three long blocks
ficial I. D. card in its ornate leather time-point and making a careful
installed three men in Gloria Han- to LaGuardia’s Sixth, found her-
Spaceman Howard
folder, Junior note of the check-points, the junior
ford’s airscooter itself. self facing a group of burly police-
Reed succeeded in commandeer- spaceman built up a mental map of
ing a skycab. the city and its danger points. Un-
By virtue of the unexpected men, and stopped long enough to
movement one can elude the cops think. One of the cops shoved a
He took off, leaving the driver tilthe laws of simple logic failed
on the street be-
for a time. Gloria, galton whistle between his teeth
in a razzle-dazzle dream of collect- to operate, he was going to be ex-
where they weren’t. fore her apartment building, almost and blew a supersonic blast that
ing mileage from the Space Service actly
He was, in the driver’s seat of a went into despair when she saw registered on every cop’s detector
whilst he spent the time comfort-
that there was no skycab within within a quarter mile. Audibly a
ably relaxing in a pub. Protected skycab, precisely as invisible as

190 GALAXY THE TROUBLEMAKERS 191


siren wailed. Inaudibly and invis- spiral landing that nosed out a half “Close” switch as he passed the
to inquire as to her destination.
ibly the drawstring web of civic dozen other cursing drivers. He hit
She was just happy that he hadn’t. inner portal —
and then, without
forces began to close in. ground zero at velocity zero on tar- waiting for any pre-flight checkout.
Her destination consisted of swift
Once more Gloria stepped into get zero and flipped open the sky- along any vector in a solid Junior Spaceman Howard Reed re-
flight
the kiosk of a tramway, the Cross- cab door so close that Gloria Han- signed from the Space Force by
sphere; hers was a reverse destina-
town. She rode one more block to ford did not have to take a middle slamming his controls into an emer-
tion properly identified by the
Ancient Fifth and stepped off. ground step to gain entry. gency and unauthorized flight pro-
word “elsewhere.”
With a wave and then
of her hand, He took off with a rush that gram that took him up and out of
the most startling process to be tossed his passenger into the deep T> EHIND them the city erupted Earth’s atmosphere in barely more
found in a woman, Gloria Hanford seat and slammed the compart- than nothing flat
with a criss-crossing of radio-
poked two fingers in her mouth ment door without human effort When he was and he
directed searchbeams, catching and free clear,
and let go with a shrill, piercing Then he went into a cruel climbing Up relaxed in his pilot’s seat, swiveled
identifying skycar after skycar.
whistle that made every skycab turn that wore away twenty thou-
from the city’s traffic levels came it around . . . and boggled, bug-eyed,
driver within a half mile come to sand flight miles of the engine bear-
jetcopters and squad hoppers and at his passenger.
the point of ‘customer’s alert!’ ings. He leveled off a thousand feet
some raid-gun carriers; personnel Gloria Hanford, still trim and
She made her point. above Ancient Fifth Avenue’s top- shipshape in her white sharkskin
boats; even a sprinkling of mobile
The one accessory that Junior most fast traffic level, and set his communications bases. To one side suit, still carrying the overnight bag
Spaceman Howard Reed needed homing and warning beacon to in her formal-for-travelling, white-
and almost behind them a flight of
was a passenger, preferably a fe- zero on the spaceport. gloved hand, sat in the spare seat
star shells burst in a fire-fall of
male passenger that could be iden- Itdid not bother him that his said; “I’m sorry about this,
gorgeous color. To their other side She
tified as a female for a hundred passenger hadn’t taken the time
a stream of warning tracer streaked. too, but it so happens that I’m also
yards through a high fog driven by to supply him with the destination
Howard poured on the coal. in a jam. Where do we go from
a blinding gale. Old, beautiful, she desired. After all. Junior Space- Spaceman?”
Gloria made no protest; it was here,
young or ugly didn’t matter, so long man Howard Reed was not really
a most satisfactory agreement. He eyed her. ‘Where do you
as it was unmistakably woman. The a skycab driver. He didn’t care.
They buzzed across the Jersey want to go?”
Military wouldn’t stop a skycab Gloria Hanford rebounded from
Flats. He brought the skycab down Gloria chuckled in a throaty
with a female passenger. the soft cushions of the skycab “Away,” she said.
on a flat slant landing that arrowed voice.
He needed his passenger be- compartment and struggled her
directly in and touched ground and “Can you cook?” he demanded
cause, until he could pull the taxi- way into a position that gave her
abruptly.
skidded to a stop with all landing-
meter flag — having filled the com- a good look out of the broad rear “Yes - why?”
gear brakes locked. They slid to
partment with a customer — he was window. Her driver’s mad upward “Then go rustle up some grub
within a few yards of the space-
constrained by law to cruise. Cruis- spiral made her dizzy, but from the from the galley,” he directed. “I’ll
craft.
ing would get him nowhere; what higher levels it was definitely ob-
Only then did the junior space- have to keep an eye on this crate
he needed was the flag-down ticket vious that there was considerable
until we’re free and clear. We can
man pause to speak to his passen-
of admission to the upper traffic concentration of movement down
ger: “Sorry, but I’m in a jam. So decide what to do next after we
levels. there below. Men and ground cars
long!” have time to think.”
The whistle shrilled at him; he as well as jetcopters were closing She looked at him strangely. Her
He leaped out of the skycab,
looked; and then with his space- down upon the spot they’d just left.
own was
raced along the ground, went up attitude puzzled her. It
man’s skill, Junior Spaceman How- It did not bother Gloria Han-
the ladder on a dead run, flipped the first time she’d been given an
ard Reed made a mad reverse ford that her driver hadn’t waited
into the spacelock, snapped the order that she hadn’t resented, but
192 GALAXY THE TROUBLEMAKERS 193
then of course his direction made reau of Justice said, “They^re go-
very good sense. ing at it rather early, aren’t they?”
He looked upon her as she rose Scholar Ross of the Department
— and he found her fair.
She was. Gloria Hanford was an •
of Domestic Tranquility waved at
his comparison microscope and its
SAVE HUNDREDS OF DOLURS
extremely attractive dish in her data cards. “It would be hard to
own right. Amplified a few million-
fold by the spaceman’s enforced
find two people better suited to ON HOME IMPROVEMENTS!
one another.” He looked at his
isolation on Eden, Tau Ceti, and watch and smiled. “I’d say that by
later upon Flatbush, Lalande now they’ve both forgotten com-
25372, she was a dream. Either lo- pletely that they were ever
calewould have the result of mak- strangers.”
ing Medusa the Gorgon look like Commander Briggs of the Bu- • Finishing Basements
Miss Universe of All Time, but reau of Research refilled the glasses • Finishing Attics
Gloria Hanford didn’t need any with the finest nonsynthetic vint- • Essential Repairs
handicaps. age champagne that the cellar of
By some strange chemistry of • Built-ins
the Officers’ Club could provide.
non-material radiation that re- He held his glass high and said, “I • Painting
quired no catalyst, there was no toast the bride and groom and the • Refinishing
question between them. ultimate colonization of the Galaxy • Landscaping
Oh, they had a lot to find out — by subterfuge!” • Patios and Terraces
about one another, but they had But Scholar Ross pulled the
plenty of time for that. • Barbecues
hand down. With a shake of his
That and other things . . head, he held his own glass high.
Don't put off those vital home repairs and improvements another day I
“Sorry, Briggs. But time we
this
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