About this sample assignment

This sample assignment is provided for your reference. It will show you the kind of work you are expected to do for Part A, Part B and
Part C of your Module 1 assignment.

There are some things you should know about this assignment:
 The sample is not intended to be perfect. It is the first draft of an assignment; the tutor would provide feedback and make
suggestions on the draft.
 The sample was not written by a single student. Some parts were written by previous participants in the course. Other parts
were written just for this sample.
 The sample does not include all the documents the learner referred to in completing Part B.

SAMPLE Assignment Module 1 Part A: Analyse a document

Reader Analysis

1. Describe the document

What type of document is this
(e.g. report, email, letter…).
Include a title if there is one.
This is an email responding to a request for a status update
on a project, and asking why we have been asked to review
a report
Subject: Status of the 5-year PBD project in Country XX

What is your purpose in writing When my primary reader reads this document, she will
the document? understand why she has been asked to review the
project report.
What is your document’s main We have been asked to review this document and make
message? sure it conforms to WHO guidelines, since it was written
by someone who has not written reports for WHO before.

2. Identify your readers

Who is (or are) your primary My manager, Dr. Lin
reader(s)? (Your primary reader
is the person who has the power
to take the action you want to
see.)

Who is (or are) your secondary None

reader(s)?

3. Analyze your primary reader (s).

What does the reader already Dr. Lin knows we have been asked to review the
know about the situation? document. Dr. Lin knows that usually the group doing
the research prepares reports correctly.
What else does the reader need Dr. Lin needs to know that the report was not written by
to know about the situation? the usual group, but was written by a team at the
hospital rather than the research institute. This is not
what usually happens. Dr. Lin needs to know that the
research institute staff asked us to review the report.
What barriers to communication Dr. Lin was not here when the project began, so she
might prevent your reader from might not understand why it is being done this way. Dr.
acting on your main message? Lin is very busy since she is new in her job; she might
not understand why she should add this task. She might
not understand exactly what needs to be changed.
What will you do in the I tried to provide background information to explain why
document to overcome each of the project happened this way since it was unusual. I did
the barriers you identified? not provide enough information about how to revise the
report.

3. Analyze your secondary reader(s).

What does the reader already No secondary reader
know about the situation?

What else does the reader need

to know about the situation?
What barriers to communication
might prevent your reader from
acting on your main message?
What will you do in the
document to overcome each of
the barriers you identified?

What would I do differently?

There are some things I would do differently if I wrote this document again, and some things I would keep the same.

First I will write about the things I would change. After I sent this email, I received another email from Dr. Lin asking me to explain
how project reports are usually prepared. I should have explained this when I wrote the email. She is new in her job. I would not give
so many details about who wrote the report; it is not important. I would include more about how to revise the report. I did not tell her
about the Style Guide. I could also tell her where to find examples to look at.

I would keep some things the same. I would explain the procedure for this report, and I would explain the status of the project.

Subject: Status of the 5-year PBD project in Country XX

Dear Dr Lin,

Per your request, I have communicated with XX Institute of Oncology (XIO) and found out that XIO is the responsible and implementing unit of
this 5-year project in Country XX.

For the first phase of the project, it was agreed by WHO/HQ and the Cluster that the Oncology Unit (OU) of the General Hospital of AA would be
the main implementing unit. After the first phase, the OU would write the report on the project including the technical and financial report and
send it to XIO for them to follow up. Dr. B. at the OU wrote the report, with some assistance from two colleagues, Dr. D and Dr. F. None of them
had written reports on WHO projects before.

The first phase is done now, and the OU has submitted the report to XIO. It is attached. When Dr. Chan, focal point from XIO, reviewed the
report, he realized there needs to be some revisions so the project report will be made in accordance with the requirement of a WHO project report.
Dr. Chan has asked for our help to provide the correct format and guidance.

I hope this explains the situation.

LXXX.

SAMPLE Assignment Module 1 Part B: Portfolio of writing analysis

Because my emails are often very short, I used examples from more than three documents.

Samples from your writing Assessment/Comments Revision

Paragraphing
To get a courtesy badge, usually the
consultant shows the signed contract to the
badge office on the day of the arrival
However, if you want to ask for a badge in
advance, I am attaching MJ’s signed
contract which you can forward to security
with the request. Since she will be here for
six months you can try asking for a blue
badge to allow her to enter the building. I
think it’s better if you send the request as it
will carry more weight, and maybe even
better if you say it is being sent on behalf
Because I was writing to someone who
understood the situation I was writing
about, I was careless here. I did not really
include a topic sentence at all. At the end
of the paragraph, I included a statement
about telephones and office space that was
potentially confusing since it did not have
anything to do with the main point of the
paragraph. This caused some difficulties
later since the email was forwarded to a
third person who had to contact me for
clarification.
In your last email, you said you hoped to
get a security badge for MJ in advance so it
would be ready when she arrived. There
isn’t a standard procedure for getting a
consultant’s badge in advance, so I have
outlined the steps I would take in this case.
First, I think you should send the request
(rather than me), and make it clear you are
asking on behalf of Isabel. When you make
the request, include a copy of her signed
contract (attached). Ask for a blue badge
for building entry; it is more convenient,
and since she will be here for six months it
may be possible. Remember, though, that
of Isabel. As you know, consultants are not
considered staff members and are generally
not entitled to staff badges, office space or
telephone.
As advance information, I am attaching a
scanned copy of your contract letter and
attachments. You will receive the originals
in the mail and I kindly request you to sign
one copy of the letter and each attachment
and return them to me at the address
below. If you have any questions, please
don’t hesitate to contact me.
Parallel structure
Here is the sequence of events. Ms. B:
 her contract ended 31 Dec 2XXX
 subsequently appointed to a
temporary contract from 10 Jan to
15 March 2XXX
 Contract extended to 30 March
2XXX
 Separation dated 15 March 2XXX,
which is not correct so it needs to
be fixed
Sentence branching
In connection with the generous
contribution from ABC of US 12,000
This paragraph has some strengths and
some weaknesses. I think the topic
sentence is clear. It tells the reader (a new
employee) why I am sending the
documents. I should have made it clear
that she should sign the original, though.
My main message was not really clear
since she returned a signed copy of the
email attachment instead.
This is poor parallel structure! The form is
not always the same, and even the subject
is different (sometimes it is Ms B,
sometimes the contract).
This sentence is far too long, and the main
point is delayed for too long. There is too
much branching. I have divided it into two
you are asking for an exception to be made
to usual policy; consultants are not
typically entitled to staff badges.
I’ve underlined what I think of as the topic
sentence.
As advance information, I am attaching a
scanned copy of your contract letter and
attachments. You will receive the originals
in the mail. Once you do, please sign the
letter and each attachment and return them
to me at the address below. If you have any
questions, please don’t hesitate to contact
me.
Ms. B’s separation statement has arrived,
but the date is incorrect. Here is the
sequence of events. Ms. B:
 was originally on contract for six
months ending 31 Dec 2xxxx
 was given a further contract from
10 Jan to 15 March 2xxx
 was further extended to 31 March
2xxx
Could you please re-issue the separation
statement with the correct final date?
Thank you.
I have attached guidelines for preparation
of an invoice for the expenses your
department incurred preparing for the
towards the cost of the WHO Consultation sentences. I also removed some points.
on Referral Guidelines for Appropriate Use
of Radiation Imagining, held in Geneva
from 1-3 March 2010, and in recognition
of the expenses incurred by your
department in preparation for the
Consultation, I am attaching guidelines for
the preparation of an invoice.
At today’s unit meeting, which we decided
to go ahead with even in the absence of
those away at conference, the new travel
policy was introduced.
Noun-based writing
The administrative staff conducted a
review of the filing system and made the
observation that much of what we have
filed is documentation that is not currently
required.
Passive voice
The most recent semi-annual unit meeting
was held March 12.
Wordiness
I would be grateful if you could forward
The branching in the middle is confusing
and perhaps the information is not
necessary. I’ve rewritten it, but I think if I
was writing this again I would just remove
the part about people being away.
There are at least two noun-based phrases,
which I have highlighted. The whole
example is quite wordy. I think it could still
be shorter.
This passive voice use is justified, I
believe. My focus is on the date of the
meeting. Since I am writing to others in the
unit, it is obvious that it is “we” that held
the meeting.
My revision is a little shorter (25 words
instead of 30.) It is much less bureaucratic
in tone I think.
WHO Consultation on Referral Guidelines
for Appropriate Use of Radiation
Imagining. A generous contribution from
ABC makes this reimbursement possible.
The unit meeting was held today despite
the absence of several people at
conferences. We discussed the new travel
policy.
The administrative staff reviewed the filing
system. They observed that the files
contain many unnecessary documents.
No revision necessary.
Please forward the invoice and supporting
documentation to your contact in XXX
organization, and ask him if this is an
the invoice and supporting documentation appropriate method for requesting
to your contact in XXX organization, to payment.
ascertain whether this is an appropriate
method for seeking payment.

As I indicated in my previous email of Oct My revision is much shorter and more to All project budgets must be submitted by
5, it is imperative that project budgets be the point. It is very important that the November 15. If your project budget is not
submitted by November 15. Budgetary figures be submitted on time. submitted, your project will not be funded.
allocations will be done immediately
following this date and those projects for
which no budgetary information is
provided will not be funded.

SAMPLE Assignment Module 1 Part C: My goals for the next module

I work in administration, so most of my writing is emails and letters about administration. I send many emails confirming details of
travel arrangements, expenses, meetings and other things. Most of my emails are quite short. Sometimes they are long and contain a
lot of details. The long emails are harder to write, because it is hard for me to decide what order to put things in. Sometimes when I
send a long email asking someone to do several things, they only do some of the things I ask about. I have to check very carefully to
make sure everything is complete.

The correspondence that I write is important because it helps new staff settle in to the organization quickly, and helps program officers
deal with the details of contracts, etc. My work saves them a lot of time. Often they are focused on their projects, not on
administrative details. When I am efficient, I make it possible for them to stay focused.

There are two main things I noticed when I was working in Module 1. Sometimes my writing is very wordy. I use too many words,
and noun-based writing. It makes things more complicated than they need to be. The second thing is about providing background
information. Sometimes I forget that my reader does not know as much about the administrative process as I do. I don’t provide
enough background details, and sometimes they must ask me many questions. Or sometimes they don’t do things correctly and I have
to send followup emails.

I have two goals for my writing:

 I hope to make my writing less wordy. I will try to use verbs instead of noun-based writing whenever I can, and I will try to eliminate extra words.
 I want to be sure I am including the right amount of background information. I will ask myself what the reader already knows, and what they need to
know to answer my question or do what I have asked them to do.