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Garlet vs. Garlet

The case that could have been mediated

Yolly and Vencidor met each other through a common friend. Vencidor courted

Yolly and they became close. One day, after partying and drinking, they lost their

inhibitions and indugled in sexual intercourse. As a result, Yolly got pregnant and gave

birth to Michael. Vencidor doubted if he fathered the unborn child and refused to

support them. He urged Yolly to have an abortion but she didn’t agree. During her

pregnancy, Vencidor never visited her nor gave financial assistance. When Michael

was born, Vencidor visited only once. To support Michael, Yolly left for Japan to work

as a cultural dance. She left Michael to her mother and siblings in Bicol. When she

returned, she took back Michael to live with her in Manila. Vencidor visited them

several times but never offered any money as he was jobless. For four more years,

Yolly worked in Japan, but she maintained her relationship with Vencidor for the sake

of their son. Sometime in 1992, Yolly instructed Vencidor to look for a piece of property

as an investment. With the money received from Yolly, Vencidor bought a 210sqm lot

in Rizal but registered such property in his name. Despite Yolly’s pleas, Vencidor

refused to transfer said title. Later on, Vencidor sold a portion of the property without

Yolly’s consent. He also mortgaged the property so Yolly was forced to redeem it for

P50,000. Yolly bought another lot in Laguna. Vencidor insisted on including his name

as one of the buyers even though he was jobless and had no money. It was also in

1992 that Yolly and Vencidor started living together. They often quarreled but Vencidor

stayed with Yolly because she was the breadwinner of the family. He asked her to

marry him. Thinking it was for the best interest of their son, Yolly agreed. After they

got married, Vencidor turned into a “selfish, greedy, irresponsible, philandering and

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physically abusive husband.” Yolly hoped that he would change after the birth of their

second child, Michelle. However, he never changed. Worse, he maintained his vices

of gambling, drinking, and womanizing. Due to financial difficulties, Yolly had to return

to Japan to work. When she came back, she was devastated because Vencidor had

squandered her hard-earned money, pawned her jewelry, and incurred debts in her

name. Also, she learned that Vencidor allowed a “male friend” to sleep in the master’s

bedroom. According to Yolly, this was highly unusual as they never allowed anyone to

sleep at their house. They were fighting constantly. In 2001, they had a serious

altercation during which, Vencidor strangled Yolly. They tried to settle their marital

issues before the barangay. There, Vencidor admitted taking Yolly’s money and

jewelry because he had no means to support himself and the family. Realizing that

there was no more love and respect between them and that respondent was just using

her, Yolly finally separated from Vencidor. They executed an agreement wherein they

agreed that Vencidor would leave the house in exchange for the jeepney, tricycle, and

P300,00. He would also have visitation rights (twice a week) over their children. Since

the separation Yolly had been solely supporting their children with the income from

her businesses. Yolly filed for support alleging that she had been spending for

everything. She asserted that Vencidor should contribute P20,000 a month.

The couple underwent psychological evaluations. The results showed that Yolly

was not psychologically incapacitated to comply with her marital and family duties. On

the other hand, Vencidor was found to be suffering from Narcissistic Type of

Personality Disorder. The evaluations show:

1. Petitioner is endowed with an average intellectual capacity and possesses

practical sounding cognitive skills that enables her to confront her challenges

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in an efficient manner. However, her better judgment and analytical functions

are inclined to falter when pressures and stresses overwhelm her.

2. Personality profile reveals a woman who is overly submissive to the point of

being gullible such that she normally gets the raw end of a deal in most social

situations. As much as possible, she would want a smooth sailing interaction

especially with her loved ones, trying to compensate for lost time when she is

not around them.

3. She is however, the type who knows and honors her commitments and

obligations even if the people she trusts, as in the case of her wayward husband

— Respondent have already betrayed her.

4. She is basically goal-focused and independent-minded but these mature and

positive traits easily dwindle when her sentimental nature gets the better of her.

She welcomes praises and attention accorded to her by her milieu such that

she sometimes fail to decipher who among them are merely taking advantage

of her generosity/kindness. Consequently, she easily gets fooled, particularly

as she could really be too trusting.

5. Assertiveness and strength of character are the least among her traits but

Petitioner always makes it a point to maintain a positive outlook and disposition

in life despite her failures. She is very sensitive and considerate of the feelings

of other people.

6. Pyschosexual adjustment is basically adequate even if she has developed a

wary attitude towards members of the opposite sex. HEITAD

Over-all analysis of the test data failed to yield traces of any on-going

psychopathological condition nor of any type of personality disorder. Thus, Petitioner

is still Psychologically Capacitated to understand, comply and execute her marital

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obligations. The same could not be said as true for the Respondent who is

undoubtedly suffering from the Narcissistic Type of Personality Disorder, as evidenced

by the following symptomatic behavior:

1. He is unable to maintain his own direction in life without the financial help and

support of other people. He clings to the Petitioner, who is the breadwinner,

sacrificing to be away from home to be able to build up a stable future, for his

finances. He also maintains an amorous relationship with different women as a

source of added emotional support, boost of and satisfaction of his self-

directed/immediate needs and desires.

2. He is not motivated to work and likewise capitalizes on his physical assets to

attain what he wants to achieve.

3. He is contented with his present lifestyle without thought of others and has no

foresight to prepare for a healthy family, emotionally and socially. He is not

bothered by his conscience and even flaunts his indiscretions publicly.

4. He has marked adjustment difficulties with his immediate relatives.

5. He has a very poor impulse control, easily using invectives/verbal tirades and

at times unable to control his aggressions that physical fights with Petitioner

arose.

6. He took advantage of Petitioner's kindness, resourcefulness and industry, by

not fulfilling his part of the marriage covenant. He never cared nor attended to

his children but often delegated them to whoever would be willing to assist him.

7. He appears not to make use of his judgment and decision making abilities as

he is under the mercy of his immature impulses where the important aspect of

his life, is himself and immediate gratification of his needs. Thus, attending to

his responsibility, understanding and complying with his obligations in marriage

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are beyond his capacity. Conclusively, the breakdown of their marriage could

be traced to Respondent's aforementioned traits plus his inadequacy and

insecurity in dealing with mature roles. Respondent's traits and attitudes have

been present even before marriage so that to effect any change or improvement

in his dispositions, would be di􏰃cult to do. The Psychological Incapacitation is

pervasive, permanent and clinically proven to be incurable. Respondent has

accepted it as his means of coping with stressing life demands and is not aware

that it was the source of their estrangement and final breakdown of their marital

relationship.

The RTC declared the marriage null and void on the ground of psychological

incapacity of respondent to perform essential marital obligations. The custody of the

children was awarded to Yolly, subject to the visitorial rights of Vencidor. He was

likewise made liable for P3,000 a month as financial support for the kids. CA reversed

the RTC’s decision.

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How will you prepare for mediation if you are the lawyer for one of the disputing

parties?

If I were the lawyer for one of the parties, I will keep in mind what Dr. Julie

Macfarlane wrote in The Evolution of the New Lawyer: How Lawyers are Reshaping

the Practice of Law. I will not forget that the law profession is evolving; hence, there is

a shift from a traditional warrior lawyer to a well-rounded “conflict resolver” type of

lawyer. Dr. Macfarlane highlights the importance of utilizing skills in different ways and

in new and different processes in order to arrive at earlier settlement. In addition, as a

lawyer, I must possess excellent client communication skills, good writing skills, and

persuasive oral advocacy skills. This means that, as a lawyer for one of the disputing

parties, I must prepare and present myself as “conflict resolver” rather than a warrior

lawyer.

To achieve this, I should learn and always remind myself that I should not dwell

entirely on rights-based arguments. Further, this means that I should minimize looking

for possible lapses or holes in the other party’s case. I should also learn how to

effectively and efficiently exchange information with the lawyer of the other party in

order to facilitate exchange of ideas. After all, some goals of the mediation process

are almost always information exchange and the exploration of new options and

alternatives. Wearing the hat of the lawyer for one of the parties also means adopting

a mindset of a new, evolving lawyer. In this regard, I should rely on the presumption

that negotiation is feasible in almost all cases that I will handle save for some

exceptional cases. Further, I should keep in mind that my client may consider me as

an important role model and persuasive coach.

In the case of Yolly and Vencidor, as lawyer of either party, I will try my best to

understand the situation of both parties. This means that I should also take into

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consideration the feelings, thoughts, and suggestions of the other party. As a “conflict

resolver”, I will need to understand that not every conflict centers on rights and

entitlements. In this regard, I should consider that it could be a way or disguise for one

party to hide his or her hurt feelings, sadness, anger, and other emotions. However, it

should not appear that I’m favoring the other party by being “too accommodating” so

that my client will not construe my actions as a way of casting aside his or her interests

for the other party. Nevertheless, I should never forget that my role is to help my client

learn and identify what he or she really needs. My role also calls for pinpointing and

minimizing potential risks and maximizing rewards for the client. In all, I should adopt

this mindset: I must be able to come up with the best possible outcome for my client

which should be, more or less, in the form of a win-win settlement using effective

negotiation. As a lawyer for either party, I should remember that I’m negotiating

interests, not positions.

After I have mentally prepared myself, my next step involves preparing my client

for mediation. I believe that it is important to prepare the client because his or her

participation is key in realizing a successful mediation. Mediation, after all, requires

that the parties themselves set aside their differences and come up with an acceptable

agreement. Mediation is not about a lawyer imposing on his or her client what should

be. Rather, the lawyer should merely assist or guide his or her client in reaching an

agreement. At the end of the day, the agreement must be a product of the parties

themselves. The lawyer must assist, not dictate. Mediation respects free will and

voluntariness. I can prepare my client for mediation by briefing him or her of the facts

and changes in the case. Also, I will try to make my client understand the interests of

the other party. I know this will be more challenging if my client is the aggrieved party.

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In this case, if I were the lawyer of Yolly, I will try to uncover her interests. If I

wore the hat of a warrior lawyer, I will go as far as arguing before the Supreme Court.

The lawyer of Yolly, in this case, failed to prove that Vencidor is incapable of

performing his marital obligations. Hence, the Court ruled that the marriage remains

to be valid and in effect. Garlet vs. Garlet teaches us that a lawyer who opts to be a

warrior lawyer must hit a higher threshold to have his or her client’s marriage dissolved

because the law values marriage. In other words, the warrior lawyer must carefully

plan out the case because once the Supreme Court makes a decision it is considered

final. It could mean that there is less room for mistakes. It could also mean that there

is lesser room for negotiation because the parties are bound by legal procedures and

technicalities. It is different in mediation. I’m not trying to say that a lawyer has more

room to make mistakes in mediation proceedings. What I’m trying to say is that there

is room for negotiation not bound by technicalities. In this case, instead of trying to

prove the incapacity of the other party, I will do the following during the mediation

proceedings. First, I will assess the situation of Yolly by looking into her interests. At

the outset, it seems that she wants her marriage dissolved because of the alleged acts

of her husband, lack of support, etc. That is her position. Her interest, if I may guess,

is the well-being of the children. Why does she want to have the marriage dissolved?

It’s because she wants full custody of her children. My next step will be to assess the

circumstances of the other party. Yolly is demanding support from her husband and is

alleging that the latter is remiss in his duties as a father. In this regard, I will also

consider the situation of Vencidor in terms of financial means and other ways to

provide and care for the children. I will assess the interests of Vencidor. My guess

would be that his interest lies in his children. In addition, it seems that he is interested

in saving the marriage. Based on the findings of the Court, the concern of Vencidor for

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his children stands out. The third step involves having the parties discuss about their

interests. As a lawyer for either party, I will try to drop suggestions that will lead them

towards a common interest - their children. Yolly is not interested in saving the

marriage anymore while Vencidor still hopes that it could be saved. I will not impose

that they dwell on this matter. I suggest that they focus on their children. It’s important

for me not to be too suggestive so that it would not appear than I’m imposing what I

want. If the parties will come into agreement, well and good. However, if they are not

able to settle their differences, I will “interfere” by constantly reminding them of their

common interest. In the unfortunate case that they will not settle, then maybe it’s time

to consider going to court.

In all, the preparation involves two main steps namely: 1) preparing myself and

2) preparing the client. The first part largely involves assessment of personal qualities

and weaknesses, and internalizing what you want to achieve. On the other hand, the

second part is further divided as follows: 1) making an assessment of the client by

knowing his or her underlying interests, 2) making an assessment of other party, 3)

allowing them to discuss the matters and trying to lead them to an agreement, and 4)

reasonably interfering when necessary.

If you are tasked to mediate the same case, how do you intend to prepare for and

handle the mediation?

Wearing the mediator hat is quite challenging because the lawyer is required to

be many things. As a mediator, I must possess the required characteristics such as

being objective, neutral, and the like. The mediator is also required to maintain

confidentiality. A process sealed by confidentiality is a process which allows open

communication. The parties feel at ease so they are more likely to share information.

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The reluctance is, in most cases, minimized. As a result, information exchange is

effectively achieved. These traits are often tested because of temptations and the

inherent weaknesses of a person.

If I were to mediate the case of Yolly and Vencidor, I will first introduce myself

and set the ground rules. I will make it a point to let them feel comfortable. Also, I will

inform them that they should minimize using foul or harsh language because it will

cause them more trouble. I will tell them that even though an agreement will not be

reached it is not enough reason for them to hurt each other even more. The next thing

that I will do is to allow them to speak one by one. If it appears that their personalities

are totally different such as when one is too talkative while the other too submissive, I

will try to fish out more answers from the latter. However, I should be careful because

I don’t want to appear that I’m biased towards the submissive party. If the exchange

of information goes well, then a joint discussion will suffice. I will also suggest that they

have their own private discussion. I highly recommend this if it appears that they will

be able to settle their differences on their own. I believe that is the hallmark of an

excellent mediator. Being able to mediate “as little as possible.” For me, mediating too

much might appear that I’m dictating or imposing what I want on the parties. This

doesn’t mean that I will do my job less. What I’m trying to say is that I will only mediate

or interfere when appropriate and necessary. I should not be the one holding the reins.

Rather, it should be the parties. Being a mediator means being the “invisible force”

that guides the parties. However, if it gets too tense or when a party does not seem to

cooperate well, I will suggest a private discussion. I will talk to them separately.

After talking to them separately, I will summarize their points and transform

them into common interests. I will read to them my summary and allow them to object

if necessary. This is when I will identify the issues as well. This is important because

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this enables them to feel that they are appreciated or that I’m listening to them. I will

use both active and passive listening. In this case, I will try to emphasize that the main

issue is about the welfare of the children. I will not insist on saving the marriage

because that is not the common interest of both parties. Yolly doesn’t want to save the

marriage. Vencidor, on the other hand, wants to save the marriage. What is apparent

in their case is the fact that they both care for the children. Hence, I will focus on that

matter. If and when an agreement is reached, I will make sure that they know fully the

terms of such agreement. On the other hand, if they fail to settle, I will not impose that

they try to mediate again against their consent. It would offend the principles of

mediation. I should keep in mind that not all cases can be mediated. However, it

doesn’t mean that I should try less. I will always remember what I’ve learned in my

mediation class.

What I’ve learned could be summarized into three key takeaways. First,

personal assessment and internalization will get you far. A mediator must fully know

himself or herself. Second, interests over positions. When bargaining with positions,

parties are less likely to budge. When dealing with interests, however, parties are more

likely to concede because there is commonality of interests. It’s simply a matter of I’m

interested in this. You’re interested as well. We can talk it out. Third, wearing the

mediator hat daily. I learned in this class that you don’t have to be in a “real” mediation

proceeding in order to wear the mediator hat. Issues manifest themselves in many

forms. More often than not, they arise in our daily life. Wearing the mediator hat daily

means that you make a conscious effort to understand the situation of others. It means

being more sensitive and more kind. It means being a better person. It means that you

are not only doing good in your profession but in every aspect of your life. For me,

mediation is about learning the art and living it.

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