50 Tavern Specials [9] 14 Apples surprise.
Each 'apple' is really just a
[1] Edible Metal. Easily chewed if warm, tastes
metallic but not nearly as bad as you'd think. Gives one for desert. Extremely good, but expect the
you +1 AC tomorrow, your piss is rust colored.
[2] Purple speckled egg. 1 in 6 chance for Wizards
and 3 in 6 chance for Rangers/Druids to recognize [10] Ogre Pies. The moment you try to cut into or
what kind of creature's egg this is. Tastes delicious bite a pie, a single ogre-like fish of dough and
but must be eaten raw.
If taken and incubated the egg will hatch into a
Wumpher, which is like a tiny 1 HD basilisk that
makes people fall over if they make eye contact
with it. Exception is the first person it sees after
hatching, who it imprints upon as its mother.
[3] Bottled Dinner. Looks like a tiny vial of water,
but you drink just a few drops at a time and you
are totally full and satisfied. You save enough
liquid for 10 rations, no carry weight.
[4] Tiny animated animagolems. Look realistic,
but flesh is like taffy and they react like animals
do. Taste like the animals they represent; plate is
filled with tiny pigs, chickens, cows, goats, and
doves. Not for the faint of heart.
[5] Wizard bread. It's like a typical loaf of bread
cut into a bunch of slices, but each piece has a
'unique' flavor. Every piece also has crazy colors
and patterns. Player with the lowest charisma
score will grab a piece of bread that tastes like
baked scorpion anus.
[6] Ectoplasm soup. Literally ghost ectoplasm,
boiled so it cannot cause possession. Tonight you
will dream a few scattered and strange memories,
1 in 20 chance that one of them features your
parents or elderly people you know.
[7] Extremely realistic and expertly sculpted
meatloaf that is shaped like a sleeping puppy,
complete with a collar. Nobody but you seems
disturbed by picking it apart with knife and fork.
[8] Pig trotters. These pigs walked along a holy
road, so it's actually really delicious.
hollow edible apple-skin shell. Within each is a
different kind of fruit, meat, or even a cream filled
chef to be angry with you if you don't finish it
since it's a very difficult dish to make.
stuffing comes out and starts punching you and
knocking your knives away. Treat it as a 1 HD
combat encounter that deals nonlethal damage.
[11] Shark buried in the backyard for decades and
allowed to rot with a specific type of mold. It
smells, looks, and tastes as bad as it sounds.
[12] Indescribable sheep organ stretched over a
bowl filled with water and veggies. You're
supposed to gently suck on the membrane to draw
out the moisture and some of the veggies, and
when you're done you finish by eating the organ.
[13] The barkeeper claims it's bottled dinner and
many of the inn's residents pat their bellies
contently with it. It's actually just water and this is
a scam.
[14] Pickled Spider eggs. You get a +2 saves vs
poison the next day. 1 in 20 chance a live spider
comes out of your mouth and crawls away after
your meal, but nothing else comes of it.
[15] Riceballs, nothing on it, just rice. Nobody in
this tavern has ever even seen a grain of rice
before, so the meal isn't totally bland.
[16] Sustenance berry. Tiny tasty berry that counts
as a large meal. Dinner is over immediately.
[17] Hot scones, sprinkled with sugar.
[18] Roasted chicken with figs stuffing its belly so
full it looks pregnant. Wholesome meal.
The chef will barge in after the meal is over and
claim that someone ate his wedding ring that was
in the chicken but it's just a stupid prank he pulls
to newcomers.
[19] Marinated duck with sugar caramelized and
flattened into the shape of long feathers for a
candy desert.
[20] Solid block of honey, with bees still inside of
it. They're considered part of the meal.
[27] Pasta tied into an incredibly complicated
knot. You're supposed to just cut it with your knife,
but if you manage to untangle it the tavern owner
will give you the night's stay free.
1 in 6 chance to untangle. Add your Int modifier.

[21] Extremely basic meal but you get a little imp [28] Grass, ivy, dandelions, briers and other
named Bethex chained to the center of the table to useless weeds and inedible plants. The chef in the
serve you and slap around with your spoon. back is actually a goat man and forgets that other
people can't eat that stuff like he can.
He's grumpy and angry and knows he is there as
part of his contract just to entertain people. He [29] It's a watermelon as big as your head.
does have a very sensitive ear though and will
relay any juicy table gossip to demons abroad. [30] Alcohol soup. Barely fills you up, but gets
you drunk. You humiliate yourself while drunk but
[22] You're given a bucket with a live fish in it. heal 1 HP.
That's the meal. The tavern master offers a gold
piece to anyone who can get the fish out with both [31] Cyclops eyeball. The chef admits he had no
hands tied behind their back and without knocking idea what to do with it and decided to make it a
the bucket over. special. Actually not that bad. It's actually ears old
but never spoiled or dried out.
[23] An old sage comes to the table and starts
describing the most incredible and delicious dinner [32] Very cheap shish kebab. You hear rumors
you could imagine. He's a great storyteller and about it being made of rat meat, but the chef will
changes it to suite each guest based on what they deny it unless you march into the kitchen and see
would like. for yourself. 50% chance of it being true.

At the end of the story it is revealed that the story [33] Tray of cookies set up with a checker board.
was the dinner, and you are all sated as though you It's magically enchanted so you can't actually eat
ate, but incredibly unsatisfied. any except the opponents pieces you capture. Can
also be chess, Go, etc.
[24] Regular tavern food but you're treated to a
shitty talent show where all the village commoners [34] Extreme novelty farm set. You have a tiny
try to impress you with shitty talents. plot of land set up on your table, where you thresh
tiny crops, separate the tiny wheat from the tiny
At least one of them will actually show some chaff, grind it in a tiny finger-pinching millstone
talent and could become a useful first level and then bake your own bread with it.
hireling of a class related to their act. Arm
wrestling for fighter, juggler for thief, word games If you're friends with the tavern owner and on the
and riddles for magic user, etc. run from a powerful force he'll offer to let you
shrink down and hide in that mini farm which
[25] After ordering the special every single would become regular sized for you. Expect giant
member of the tavern has to let you take a few (regular) sized rat attacks.
pieces, bites, and swigs of whatever they are
eating and drinking. [35] Bowl of regular beans, seasoned and salted.
Kind of boring meal, but one of the beans has a
[26] Horse testicles. little paper fortune inside which hints at the party's
next dungeon or hex-crawling adventure.
[36] Seared flank of a famous and feared type of
monster. Served fresh. The chef has a couple of
them locked in the basement, but sadly they aren't
worth any experience points. They've been
domesticated and all the fight in them is gone.
[47] Several fat leeches, who were fed on a rich
diet of different animal and human bloods before
being friend and served to you. If you're a vampire
this meal heals you 2 HP, if you aren't you just
think it's kind of gross.

[37] Chocolate fountain.
[38] It's a rock. Everyone is given a spoon with a
magical stone to flesh enchantment, so you can
scrap against the rock and get a little dollop of
meat. It's pretty bland and tasteless.
[39] Root vegetable marinated in a rare ingredient
soup for months on end. The root is bland and
tasteless but the sauce is exquisite.
[40] The meat of a creature people don't normally
eat, like a horse, donkey, lizard, gorilla, etc. You
get a lot for the price, probably due to the
unpopularity.
[48] Generic gray slop which a Wizard waves his
wand over to change into something that looks and
smells appealing. Secretly, all the food they sell is
that gray slop, they just prestidigitate it all.
[49] Giant spider legs. You break them open no
different then a crab.
[50] Fish fillet of a golden magic talking fish,
which most people say grant wishes. The next time
your character makes a wish out loud (as in “I
wish X”), he'll burp up a little paper drawing that
looks like that wish coming true with the words
“Then you shouldn't have eaten me, asshole!”

[41] Edible giant teeth. You have both hands on a

big metal clamp to crack them open then suck out
the meat inside.

[42] Slippery eels sausages. You'll leak slime from

the bottom of your feet an hour after eating them.

[43] Chunky pasta sauce and noodles. The

character with the lowest dexterity gets a big nasty
stain on their tunic, cloak, or spellbook cover.

[44] Huge squash, requites a strong jaw to eat. If

you fail a saving throw, you'll hurt your jaw and
have a -1 to reaction checks tomorrow.

[45] Rose tinted taffy. Can be stretched far and

hold a lot of weight, and you get enough of it that
you'll have some left over. Can be used as
makeshift rope in a pinch.

[46] Premium Elf Salad. If you're an elf, you'll get

1d6x100 experience points and feel like you're
back home. If you aren't you'll get a +2 saving
throws vs paralysis and bonus to reaction checks
against elves until the next time you chop down or
set fire to a tree.