TRAINER’S GUIDE

Negotiation Skills

Course designed by:

JCI Senator Kalada Apiafi, ITF 099.
Wider Perspectives Limited, Port Harcourt, Nigeria.
+234-803 310 1457
Credits:
You Can Get Anything You Want, BUT YOU HAVE TO DO
MORE THAN ASK – Roger Dawson

Negotiate with Confidence – Ed Brodow

You Can Negotiate Anything – Herb Cohen

.

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Course Outline Negotiation Skills
SUMMARY There is the misconception that every negotiation involves money. This is not so.
According to Roger Dawson, an authority on negotiation: ‘ Anytime you want
something from someone else and anytime someone wants something from you,
you are negotiating.’ Everything is negotiable and every day you negotiate with
customers, suppliers, colleagues, your wife and even your children.
Negotiation is a game and like any game has its rules (principles) and tactics
(gambits). Also, advance preparation is a must.
Key factors that determine the outcome of every negotiation include – Power,
Information, Time, Communication Skills (Verbal and Non Verbal) and Personality.
Good negotiators strive for Win – Win outcomes.
OBJECTIVES To
• Demonstrate The Concept Of Negotiation
• Identify The Role And Importance Of Power, Time, Information,
Communication Skills And Personality In A Successful Negotiation
• State The Principles And Techniques Of Successful Negotiation
• Enable You Negotiate With Confidence
MAIN POINTS Module 1 Introduction
Module 2 Principles
Module 3 The Stages Of Negotiation
Module 4 Power
Module 5 Information
Module 6 Time
Module 7 Gambits
Module 8 Communication
Module 9 Negotiation Styles
Module 10 How Both Sides Can Win
LENGTH Minimum time required: 3 Hours
Maximum time needed: 8 Hours
PARTICIPANTS Minimum required: 10 – Maximum allowed: 100
EQUIPMENT 1. Laptop computer
2. LCD projector (if not available, transparencies can be printed and used with an
overhead projector)
3. Flip chart and at least 20 sheets of paper
4. Markers (different colours) for the Trainer
MATERIALS 1. Participant’s Manual
2. PowerPoint Slides
3. Time Limit Quiz
4. Self Check Questionnaire
5. What Influences People Evaluation Sheet
6. Listening Skills Checklist
7. Listening Like a Negotiator Sheet
8. Negotiation Action Plan Checklist
9. Session Evaluation Form
REFERENCES 1. You Can Get Anything You Want, BUT YOU HAVE TO DO MORE THAN ASK
– Roger Dawson
2. Negotiate with Confidence – Ed Brodow
3. You Can Negotiate Anything – Herb Cohen
ROOM LAYOUT Ideal room layout is semi - circle

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10 minutes 1. OPENING

Show slide 1 and leave it on till you finish the introductions and welcome.

Introductions

Introduce yourself and any other trainers present.

Ask each participant to introduce him/herself stating their names and what
they do.

Welcome

Welcome all participants and give a short overview of the course indicating
that:

There is the misconception that every negotiation involves money. This is not
so. According to Roger Dawson, an authority on negotiation: ‘ Anytime you
want something from someone else and anytime someone wants something
from you, you are negotiating.’ Everything is negotiable and every day you
negotiate with customers, suppliers, colleagues, your wife and even your
children.

Therefore, if you can negotiate well, you rank as one of your organization’s
most valuable persons.

Explain that active participation is expected from all participants for effective
learning and to achieve the seminar objectives and that the key take home of
the Seminar is how to successfully use negotiation techniques and also
recognize them in an opponent.

Objectives

Give a brief run down of the seminar objectives as shown in slide 2

Outline

Give a brief run down of the seminar outline as shown in slide 3

10 minutes. 2. INTRODUCTION

Time Limit Quiz

Ask participants to do the Time Limit Quiz (Handout 1). Many of them would
start rushing through the quiz instead of complying with item 1- Read
everything before doing anything. Use this to illustrate that people do
likewise when negotiating, not realising that

Negotiation is a process not an event and therefore needs advance planning

and patience.

Self Check

Ask participants to complete Handout 2. Inform them that they have to be

honest about the self check to get the maximum benefit from the Seminar.

Discussion

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 Discuss slide 4

Key points to be made include:

a) People negotiate daily and negotiation does not always involve money.
Anytime You Want Something From Someone And Anytime Someone
Wants Something From You, You Are Negotiating. Our spouses, children
and friends negotiate with us regularly. For instance, when your friend
wants to borrow a book from you, this is a negotiating situation, therefore,
you have to get a commitment to (negotiate) a return date or else it may
never be returned.

b) Revisit the Time Limit Quiz to emphasize that Negotiation is a process,

not an event. Let them know this would be explained in detail in Module 3
– The Stages of Negotiation.

c) In a successful negotiation all parties win. Therefore negotiation is not

necessarily adversarial. Let them know that this will become very clear by
the time the session is over.

d) Power, Information and Time Pressure (real or contrived) are at play in

every negotiation. Power here, being the ability to influence people and
events. The party with more information stands a better chance of
negotiating a favourable outcome for itself. Time pressure is part of the
web of tension in the definition of negotiation on the slide, the other being
the extent of organisational support each party to the negotiation has.
Modern day negotiation involves team work through the various stages,
organisations, therefore, must be willing to make its staff available, rather
than leaving it to one or two persons.

20 minutes. 3. PRINCIPLES

Introduction

Emphasize that negotiation is a game and has rules, like any other game.
The principles to be discussed are the rules for successful negotiation.
Remind participants also that the seminar is participative. They should,
therefore, feel free to ask questions and make contributions as the
discussions proceed.

Discussion

Discuss slides 5 – 8. Key points to be highlighted are the need to:

a) Personalize transactions. Ways to achieve this include calling the

opponent(s) by name, complimenting them and, looking for things you
have in common – attendance of the same school, similar interests, for
instance, sports, voluntary work etc. State briefly, that is why information
gathering is important.

b) Develop a good relationship with the other party before you negotiate.
This can be done by phone call(s) and having breakfast/ lunch/ dinner
together. The essence here is to establish rapport.

c) Make the other party talk about itself, its underlying feelings, and its
organization. This is achieved by asking questions and allowing the other
party to do more of the talking.

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 d) Give information slowly and cautiously. This is because the side with
more information stands a better chance of negotiating a favourable
outcome for itself. Remind participants of the Time Limit Quiz and that
they should never be in a hurry when negotiating.

e) Get something in return whenever you make a concession. This ensures

that you do not give away too much. Also it discourages the other party
from asking for too many concessions since they know you are going to
ask for one each time you concede.

f) Give the other party some concessions if it has done its share of making
concessions, so it can save face.

g) Move towards objective(s) slowly, making concessions one at a time. The

other party is likely to ask for more concessions if they are given easily
and vice versa.

h) Consult on concessions when necessary. Illustrate that skilled

negotiators do this always even in the face of time pressure or
negotiating away from home. This is achieved by politely asking for
permission to make a call, get back to them or leave the room.

i) Substitute negotiators when necessary, for instance, in the case of a

deadlock a new team member is likely to change the tempo of the
negotiation and break the deadlock.

j) Take notes during the negotiation and write up the agreement. Taking
notes makes the other party feel that what they are saying is important. It
also enables you brief the person drawing up the agreement in detail.
Drawing up the agreement gives the advantage of making it suit you
because it becomes a working document to be amended.

k) Draft the document as if it may ultimately be read in Court because the

parties might end up in court.

While questions would have arisen during the discussion you may
(depending on how well you are doing with time) allow for a few more
questions from the participants to ensure understanding of this module. You
may also wish to ask one or two questions.

Conclusion

Make it clear to participants that as much as possible, they must apply ALL
the principles in every Negotiation for a successful outcome.

30 minutes. 4. THE FOUR STAGES OF NEGOTIATION

Introduction

Show slide 9 and state briefly that there are four stages in Negotiation and it
is necessary to take time to go through each in every negotiation for a
successful outcome. Drive home the point that negotiation is a process not
an event, referring to the slide, which shows the Actual Negotiation as the
end not the beginning of the process and that in practice people often rush to
the fourth stage thus ending up with a bad deal.

Role Play

Divide the participants into two teams with one representing the Management

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of a company and the other, the Trade Union (you are free to select other
options, for example, one group could represent an industrial buyer and the
other, the seller).

Give both teams five minutes to prepare to negotiate with each other and
give no further guidance other than that the actual negotiation will take eight
minutes. However, you can answer questions from either team provided that
it does not defeat the purpose of the exercise which is to practically
demonstrate a Negotiation and some of the errors often made.

Stop both teams after the five minutes and start the actual negotiation.
However, you can allow an extra minute or two if more time is requested for
and use this as an opportunity to illustrate that almost anything is negotiable
including deadlines. Get both teams to start the actual negotiation, make
notes of your observations and stop them after eight minutes.

Discussion:

Discuss the role play and invite comments including:

a) Extent and methodology of information gathering, for instance did either

team initiate any meeting(s) at the preparatory stage. Refer them to the
principles of personalized transactions, developing a good relationship
before the negotiation and the importance of information.
b) Did both teams have a Plan of Action? If any, what were the contents?
c) What was the pattern of concessions (quick, slow, asking for something
in return)? Which team made more concessions and why?
d) Which team displayed more confidence and why?
e) How where the members of the negotiating team selected?
f) Which team listened more?

Discuss each of the stages using slides 10 to 14. Give as many practical
examples as possible, refer to the role play to drive home your points and ask
participants to also talk about some of their experiences and how the
discussion has enabled them realise some of their past errors.

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 Conclusion

Show slide 15 and conclude that

ADVANCE PLANNING IS A MUST FOR SUCCESSFUL NEGOTIATIONS.

Take and ask a few questions if time permits.

25 minutes. 5. POWER

Introduction

Show slide 16 and ask participants if they have gone into a negotiation
feeling the weaker party and why? Allow answers from about 2 participants
and let them know that they should NEVER enter into a Negotiation feeling
they are the weaker party because Power is a subjective mental force and,
therefore, largely a matter of perception. Further state that “If You Believe
You Have It, You Have It, If You Believe You Don’t (Even If You Do), You
Don’t Have It,” so that it is very clear to them.

It is essential to make clear that power here is viewed in its positive sense as
merely the ability to influence people and events and that the party with more
power (influence) will gain the most concessions.

Let them know that this module is about how to have Power in any
negotiation.

Discussion

Discuss slides 17 and 18 as follows:

a) Title Power: The legitimate power that goes to anyone who holds a title.
Advise participants to never allow themselves to be intimidated by titles.

b) Reward Power: Anytime one person has the power to reward another, he
or she has reward power. Let participants know that they often have
hidden reward power. For instance, when shopping for a new car they
have the power to reward the sales person with a sale or they can
withhold the sale. Also let them know that the defense against such
power is to use reluctance, to make the reward appear as meaningless
as possible.

c) Coercion Power: Explain that anyone who has the power to punish, from
a police officer to a mother, has the ability to influence and punishment
comes in many forms but one of the greatest punishments that we fear is
ridicule. A negotiator must come to grips with his fear of humiliation
otherwise he will never succeed in influencing people. To fend off the
power of coercion, participants must overcome fears. So, for instance,
when the person across the table laughs at the offer, keep in mind that
it’s a power ploy, don’t allow your fear of rejection to control the situation.

d) Referent Power: Explain that this power is available to anyone who

maintains a consistent set of attractive values and sticks to them.
Therefore, if they are honest, fair, upstanding and considerate, they will
have a strong ability to influence people – and that is worth far than any

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 amount of money.

e) Charisma Power: Let them know that charisma is one of the most
powerful factors of influence and comes mainly from the ability to make
people feel important. State that: if you can make someone feel
important, you can make him/her do anything. Also, explain other
ways of achieving charisma are calling people by their names and
dressing well. Ask participants for other ways of having charisma.

f) Expertise Power: Explain that through expertise power many

professionals have learned to ensure that their clients listen to them,
thereby influencing them. Point out also that expertise power can be
abused, if it is, it leads to loss of respect, and consequently power on the
other hand, expertise power can be very advantageous in negotiations.

g) Situation Power: Explain that certain persons such as a Secretary, who

may be powerless in any other aspect of daily life, may practically hold
your life in his hands in the office situation. Situation power gives people
a great deal of influence over the actions of others and people Love To
Use It. It can be very irritating and intimidating but can be dealt with by
being courteous, understanding and definite in requests.

Ask participants for other examples of situation power.

h) Information Power: Explain that this has already been discussed in

the Principles and Stages of Negotiation modules and will be discussed
further in the next module. However, reemphasize the importance of
information in negotiation.

i) Surroundings Power: Let them know they are better off if they can
negotiate in their offices rather than the other party’s because they can
control the situation more.

j) Confusion Power: Explain that if they can get someone confused, then
they have the ability to influence him. If the other party is so confused
that he doesn’t know what to do, there is a good chance that he will do
whatever he is told to.

k) Competition Power: Explain that they can usually gain some influence in
negotiations if they state the fact that they have many options and do not
necessarily need to make a deal with the other party.

l) Risk Sharing Power: Let participants know that when they are trying to
convince someone to invest in something, their arguments become more
powerful if they can arrange the deal so that the risk is shared – they
know you will fight hard because your survival also depends on the deal.

m) Identification Power: Explain to participants that if people can identify with

them they will be able to influence them. Use this to illustrate the
importance of belonging to social networks.

n) Legitimacy Power: Let them know that people are conditioned to believe
anything that is printed, therefore they should use it when it is
advantageous and challenge it when it used against them. Commitment
Power: Explain that ability to gain the commitment of others gives power
in negotiations. Commitment can be gained by involving the other party
by seeking their opinions, for instance. This involvement will lead to
commitment which in turn leads to power. Persistence Power: Let them
know that persistence pays and that most people are not persistent

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 enough. People most often get what they want because they are
persistent

o) Precedent Power: Explain that precedent is another force in negotiation

and should be used to maximum advantage. It can be countered by
referring to the passage of time after the precedent.

p) Attitude Power: Explain that attitude is important in negotiation and that

they should learn to see it as a game so as to have more energy, less
stress and better results.

Illustrate the above as much as possible with practical examples and stories
from experience.

Self Check

Distribute handout 3 – What Influences People - and ask participants to

complete it and re-evaluate themselves monthly.

Conclusion

Close this module by showing slide 19 and reemphasising that people should
NEVER go into a Negotiation feeling the weaker party because there are so
many power sources to draw from.

10 minutes 6. INFORMATION

Introduction

Show slide 20 and open by stating the fact that - INFORMATION IS THE
KEY TO SUCCESS IN NEGOTIATION – despite this, most unskilled
negotiators hardly take the time or the effort to go through the information
gathering stage of the negotiation.

It can lead you to an understanding of the other side, of their needs and
desires, and will help you achieve what you want.

Discussion

Discuss slide 20 making the following key points:

a) Knowledge is power, and the more knowledge one side is able to get
about the other, the better chance there is for victory.

b) Asking questions is important – directly from the other party, from others
who have dealt with them in the past and from professionals.

c) A neutral meeting place may be best for preliminary information

gathering. If you meet over lunch, away from the formality of the office,
you are much more likely to collect valuable information. State this as the
reason for the existence of restaurants in all cities of the world.

d) They should look out for verbal and non-verbal cues. Explain that as
much as 70% of communication is non-verbal and that this will be
discussed during the communication module.

e) It is important to test the validity of information as not all information

provided is usually correct.

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 Conclusion

Close with a comment that gathering information may be a difficult task, but
its importance cannot be overemphasized because INFORMATION IS
POWER. Allow time for a few questions

10 minutes 7. TIME

Introduction

Show slide 21 and ask participants if they have had to negotiate under time
pressure, what the outcome was and if they were aware of being deliberately
put under time pressure. Use their answers to illustrate the difficulty of
negotiating effectively under time pressure and how time pressure is often
used to extract concessions.

Discussion

Discuss slide 21 as follows:

a) Pareto Principle (80/20 rule) which was based on his findings in the
nineteenth century that eighty percent of wealth was concentrated in the
hands of twenty percent of the people. Since then the rule seems to
apply in unrelated fields such as business where it has been discovered
that eighty percent of sales come from twenty percent of the sales force.
So also in negotiation, eighty percent of concessions will be made in the
last twenty percent of the time available.

b) The value of services tends to diminish rapidly after the services have
been rendered. Therefore, skilled negotiators always negotiate price
before rendering their services.

c) Time pressure is one of the strongest forces in getting concessions in

negotiation. Illustrate this with the story of how during negotiations at the
1968 US – Vietnam Peace Talks in Paris, the Vietnamese were able to
extract a lot of concessions because it was an election year in America
and they wanted the talks concluded quickly. First the Vietnamese leased
a villa in the countryside for two and a half years while the American
negotiator rented a hotel room on a week to week basis. The Vietnamese
then proceeded to spend week after week discussing the shape of the
negotiating table

Conclusion

Conclude by stating that in negotiation, TIME REALLY IS MONEY, because

you can gain a lot of money for your organization by taking time to prepare in
advance. Also if, for instance, in a ten minute negotiation you can save
$10,000 for your organization, you have saved money at the rate of $60,000
an hour.

25 minutes 8. GAMBITS

Introduction

Show slide 22 and explain that gambits are the tactics used during the actual
negotiation. Take this opportunity to remind them of the stages of negotiation:

• Clarify The Other Party’s Objectives

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 • Information Gathering

• Action Plan

• The Actual Negotiation

Also explain that there are three categories of gambits – Opening, Middle and
Closing and they are generally used at the opening, middle and closing
phases of the actual negotiation as the names imply.

Discussion

Show slide 23 and discuss Opening Gambits as follows:

a) Reluctance: Explain that participants should as much as possible be

reluctant negotiators whether buying or selling. It is hard to extract
concessions when you are brimming with enthusiasm for a product,
service or business deal.

b) Planning: State one of the famous quotations on planning such as “he

who fails to plan plans to fail”. Further, restate that planning is essential in
negotiating, therefore, every gambit must be planned in advance. Also
emphasize that there must always be a negotiating range which must
include the best price to possibly hope for, the price expected at the end
of negotiating, and the very lowest price to be settled on. If this is well
planned, it may reasonably be expected that the final agreement would
fall somewhere in the range.

c) The Flinch: Let participants know they can react to an offer visibly by
showing shock, disgust or disbelief – it almost always brings a more
realistic counteroffer. Ask participants if this has been used on them and
what effect it had.

d) Feel/Felt/Found: Explain that they should never start a negotiation by

arguing, no matter how much they might disagree with the other party.
Instead they should use the feel/felt/found strategy. This is a way of
addressing a conflict by answering controversial/argumentative
statements by explaining that you understand how the other feels and
that many other people felt exactly the same way, but that you have
studied the problem and have found a solution. This is one way conflict
can be avoided .

e) Want It All: Let participants know that when making an offer, they should
ask for everything they really want and possibly more. This is because,
though, the demands may seem outrageous they may well be within the
opponent’s negotiating range. It also creates a climate for compromise by
leaving room for both parties to win/lose one or two points and still come
out with a good deal – that way a win/win situation is achieved. Give
practical examples, such as separating fees from expenses when
rendering a professional service, asking for free delivery when
purchasing a bulky item etc.

f) First Offers: Explain that they should never jump at first offers, no matter
how good the deal looks. Accepting first offers raises two questions in the
mind of the other party. First, the other party immediately thinks it could
have done better. Secondly a quick yes will arouse suspicion on the other
side as to whether something is wrong with the product and this can stall
a good negotiation. Therefore, to first offers they should always say – I’m

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 sorry but you have to do better, and wait for the other to respond. Also
they should strive to always let the other party make the first offer by
commencing negotiations by immediately asking for the other party’s best
offer. This way concessions are being extracted from the very start
without they having to make any.

g) Agreeable Means Able to Agree: Let them know that there is no need to
be obnoxious because the way they make their first proposal is very
important. They should always ask for much more than they expect to
get, but also imply a certain amount of flexibility in the demands. Making
a “take it or leave it offer” puts the other party on the defensive and if it is
not within their range may be left rather taken.

h) The Vise: Let them know the seven word statement “you will have to do
better than that” can be very effective in the art of negotiating. This
statement immediately puts the other party in a spot. As a good
negotiator, your response should be – “and just how much better do I
have to do? This puts the pressure right back on the vise user. Also, as
they use the vise gambit, they should always remember that there is
room for improvement from the other side no matter what and the vise
will most certainly squeeze the other party’s negotiating range.

Show slide 24 and discuss Middle Gambits as follows:

a) Higher Authority: Let them know that this is a regularly used gambit by
salesmen and purchasing executives to avoid making concessions and
ask participants if they have used this gambit and to relate the situation in
which it was used. Allow one or two participants to relate their experience
and then explain that any negotiator who enters a bargaining game as
the obvious final authority from his side puts himself at a serious
disadvantage because the opponent knows that all he has to do is to
convince him as the buck stops with him. Tell them to always work to
keep their own resort to higher authority, while removing the other party’s
ability to use higher authority.

b) Splitting The Difference: Explain to that they should never offer to split
the difference instead, they should encourage the other party to offer to
do so by reminding them of the small amount that is hindering the
agreement after all the time invested, this gives a controlling position and
consequently leeway to work out a split that is a little better than the
standard fifty – fifty.

c) Get Smart… Play Dumb: Let them know that they are better of acting as
if they know less than the other party. The dumber one acts, the better
off they are, so far this is not done to the level of appearing
condescending or false. Acting dumb immediately defuses the
competitive spirit. Give an example of how difficult it is to fight someone
who is asking for help.

d) The Trade Off: Remind them that this was discussed under negotiation
principles earlier and reemphasize that they should strive to never give
concessions unless they can demand a concession in return.

e) Impasse vs. Deadlock: Distinguish between an impasse and deadlock by

stating that an impasse is like a dead end without an exit, while a
deadlock is a bolt with a very complicated lock, one that may be very
difficult to open. Then make the point to remember that there is always a
key to a deadlock and therefore a way out for the negotiators. The set
aside tactic is the way to unlock a deadlock. This entails setting aside a

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 major contentious issue to discuss other minor issues involved in the
negotiation. In the case of an impasse, a mediator may be necessary.

f) The Hot Potato: Explain that this gambit is much like the higher authority
gambit. Here a negotiator has a problem and throws it in the lap of his
opponent, trying to get or avoid making concessions. Illustrate that this
gambit is frequently used by salesmen. For instance, in an electronics
shop the salesman may say: “I am willing to sell this T.V. for so much but
my manager will not accept your offer”. This can be countered by simply
saying: “That’s okay let’s go see him maybe I can talk him into accepting
my offer”. Finally illustrate that if a hot potato is thrown into someone’s
hands he is likely to drop it or throw it back to the person who threw it at
him, so the same thing applies in a negotiation – never allow the
opponent to make his problem yours.

Show slide 25 and discuss Ending Gambits as follows:

a) Walk Away Will Power: Tell them they should not be afraid to walk away
from a negotiation if they are not satisfied it is going their way – i.e. it has
potential to be a bad deal. Leaving the negotiations does not mean they
are over. In fact they may have just begun. Many times, walking away at
a crucial moment will be the best way to accomplish a good deal.

b) Good Guy/Bad Guy: Illustrate this gambit with a husband and wife
negotiating to buy a house or car. The husband will be the bad guy if he
responds to the sales person’s best offer with an angry walk away. The
wife (now acting as the good guy) steps in to mediate the impasse by
saying: “I am sure I can get my husband to continue the negotiation if
only you will be a little more flexible”. Explain that business partners also
use this gambit frequently

c) The Withdrawn Offer: Explain that this is a tactic used to force a decision.
It is subtle and often not recognized by the other party. After negotiating
back and forth and eventually arriving at a price, the buyer proceeds to
press for a further concession stating that he would not be able to go
ahead with the deal if this additional concession is not made, thus
withdrawing the offer. The counter to this is not to fall for it and pass it
back to the other party to resolve the problem that he has cited as the
reason for asking for the additional concession.

d) The Decoy and Red Herring: Let them know that these are similar
gambits used in negotiation to direct attention from the real issue(s). For
instance after presenting a proposal to sell equipment to a big company,
the purchasing manager says,” your proposal is okay but there is
something wrong with your offer. We won’t be interested unless we can
get delivery by August 20th. The point to note here is that he has created
an issue to divert attention from the real issue: the price. He probably
knows that the delivery date cannot be met and will, therefore, use it to
extract the price concession he wants. Make it clear to them that when
this gambit arises they should try and dismiss it without giving any
concessions.

e) The Nibble: Explain that this is a tactic used to extract concessions after
a deal has been concluded and is often done by asking for some extra
things that seem insignificant. For example, asking for a free pair of
socks before paying for a suit. This tactic can be discouraged by stating
that the concession can only be made if an extra suit is bought.

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 Conclusion

Conclude by stating that the beauty of knowing these tactics is not only in
using them but more importantly, instantly recognizing them when they are
being used on you. Therefore, knowledge of these tactics gives a
tremendous advantage in negotiation. Allow time for a few questions

15 minutes. 9. COMMUNICATION

Introduction

Show slide 26 and state that communication skills are very important in
negotiation and that in negotiation it is more important to listen than talk, this
is because of the importance of information in negotiation as earlier
discussed. Also explain that a great part of communication is non-verbal,
especially in negotiation and that these and the hidden meanings in a lot of
the statements made during negotiations have to be decoded.

Self Check

Ask participants to complete handout 4 – Listening Skills Checklist.

Request them to take the next few weeks to work on the areas needing
improvement and to complete the checklist every month for the next six
months or more.

Discussion

Distribute handout 5 – Listening like a Negotiator and finalise the discussion

on Listening Skills as follows:

a) Successful negotiators resemble the television detective Columbo – they

ask questions and listen.

b) Participants should develop the desire to listen: They must accept the
fact that listening to others is their strongest weapon.

c) They should always let the other person do most of the talking.

d) They should not interrupt: There is always the temptation to.

e) They should learn active listening: Active listening is the art of

communicating to the opponent that you’re hearing their every word.

f) They should always ask the other person to clarify what he or she just
said when necessary: This will clear up any misunderstanding.

g) They should learn to “listen” for nonverbal messages – body language.

Let them know this would be discussed in more detail next.

h) They should ask a question … then be quiet: This is a foolproof way to

listen.

Discuss slides 27 and 28 (Body Language) as follows:

a) Let them know that it is necessary to avoid negotiating over the phone
because it is not possible to read the body language of the other person
and as stated earlier a great part of communication is non - verbal. If they
must negotiate over the phone they should initiate the call and have all

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 necessary information before them. Thus if a person they are negotiating
with calls they should try to make an appointment to meet face to face, if
this is not possible then they should offer to call back.

b) Explain that they should be careful with anything other than a straight
handshake. For instance, shaking with both hands may be considered
forward, especially for a first meeting.

c) Explain that if they are negotiating with two other people they should
make an effort not to be seated between them because they can make
signals to each other without the other party being aware.

d) Let them know it is better to disperse the negotiation when outnumbered.

Being outnumbered can be forestalled by asking how many people will
be present on the other side in advance.

e) Let them know that as a general rule, men will normally keep their jackets
buttoned until they feel comfortable in their surroundings.

f) It is necessary to make eye contact and study blinking rates – The Eyes
Have It. This should, however, be done without staring. Observing
blinking rates is quite important because in general blinking rates
increase when a person is lying or excited.

g) Finally let them know that body language can be misinterpreted,

therefore, one has to be careful and take context into account when
reading body language. It is when there is a change in behaviour that the
good reader of body language should pick up his ears and be careful.
Recommend further reading to master this area, for instance, Body
Language by Alan Pease.

Show slide 29 and introduce Hidden Meanings, then show slide 30 and
discuss it further, highlighting:

a) The fact that there are expressions that should alert you to a possible
hidden meaning. These phrases almost always precede an important
part of a conversation but are often stated casually.

b) Throwaways: These are seemingly meaningless phrases – “As you are

aware,” Incidentally,” “By The way,” Before I forget,” – that can point out
important messages.

c) Legitimizers: Expressions such as “frankly,” “honestly,” “to tell you the

truth,” used to legitimize a sentence that is not really true.

d) Justifiers: These lay the foundation for future failure and include “I will try
my best,” “I’ll see what I can do,” “I’ll work to keep it below $ X.”

e) Erasers: These include “but,” and “however,” two powerful words that
have the ability to erase everything that has been said before.

f) Deceptions: These enable the opponent to come up with any criticism

and include “I’m just a country boy,” “I’m not very knowledgeable about
law,” “You know I never went to University.”

g) Preparers: When someone says he doesn’t mean to be personal, be

assured he is about to get very personal. Another form of this is
exaggeration. For instance someone says “I need a big favour” and asks
for only $ 70, he is more likely to get it. So people should try not to be got

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 off guard.

h) Trial Balloons: These are statements that start with “I haven’t given this a
lot of thought, but what do you think of….” or “Just of the top of my head,
supposing we…..” In this case the speaker has already given this thought
but may not be sure it is a good idea and will support whatever he is
suggesting, so try and push harder for what you want if the offer is not
what you want.

Conclusion

Conclude by stating that extra-ordinary communication skills are required for

successful negotiation thus mastery of listening skills, body language and
hidden meanings is essential. Take a few minutes for questions.

15 minutes 10. NEGOTIATION STYLES

Introduction

Explain that one of the important factors in a negotiation is the

interrelationship between the parties involved and this is determined to a
large extent by their personalities which in turn affect their negotiation styles.
It is, therefore, essential to understand one’s personality and that of others.
The four negotiating styles to be discussed are: pragmatic, extrovert,
amiable and analytical.

Discussion

Show slide 31 and discuss the Pragmatic Style highlighting that the
pragmatic negotiator is very conscious of time, hardworking, decisive, very
efficient and active. They like to be in charge. This style, for instance,
therefore, has to be matched with time consciousness and provision of
information for quick decision making. Small talk has to be reduced to a
minimum.

Show slide 32 and explain the Extrovert Style highlighting that the extrovert
negotiator is friendly and open. He makes his mind up quickly and is not
afraid to say no but is likely to do so in a friendly way. He is easily excited
and tends to jump quickly at a new project but is poor at follow up. This style
can be matched by being equally friendly and also providing information for
quick decision making. The extrovert needs to be followed up.

Show slide 33 and discuss the Amiable and Analytic Negotiation Styles as
follows:

Amiable: Amiables love people, often too much to jeopardise their reputation
for being good-hearted. They, therefore, tend to be disorganized because
they find it difficult to say no to people and they often have no sense of time
management. For instance, if asked when they can see someone, they are
likely to ask the person to drop by anytime. They can be matched by being
equally nice to them, and making out time for the unexpected, for instance,
lunch before or after a meeting.

Analytical: The analytical negotiator loves detail and is more likely to be

identified by his profession – engineer, accountant or, banker. He is
fascinated by analysis. This style is matched by providing them detailed
analysis and presentations.

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 Show slide 34 and explain that the horizontal line represents level of
assertiveness, with a high level of assertiveness being shown on the right
and low on the left. The vertical line represents level of being organized, with
a high level of being organized at the top and low at the bottom. Participants
will have the most difficulty with the personality diagonally opposite them on
the chart. Each personality style can encounter difficulties when dealing with
others. These may be minimized, however, when participants know what
style they are using and what style the other party is using. For this reason it
is necessary to begin to analyze the people they deal with so as to
understand how to negotiate with them effectively. For instance, if a
participant knows he is dealing with a person who is not highly assertive
(amiable/analytical), he should be aware that he probably wants more time
to think things over and will be suspicious and cautious if pressured.

Conclusion

Explain that in real life, people do not fall into neat categories as above and
that people may even be in more than one category but one is likely to be
dominant. The lesson is that one has to understand his own personality style
and that of others because negotiation is an exercise in human relations
(remind them that you did talk of the need to personalize transactions while
discussing the principles of negotiation) and the time taken to understand
others and adjust to their personalities helps in this direction and builds
goodwill and a basis for long term relationships.

5 minutes 11. HOW BOTH SIDES CAN WIN

Introduction

Show slide 35 and explain that in a successful negotiation the object is not to
beat the opponent, but to creatively reach an agreement in which each
negotiator can feel a winner – THE WIN – WIN APPROACH.

Discussion

Continue showing slide 35 and explain that a good negotiation has been
completed when:

a) Both parties can walk away from the deal feeling as though they
accomplished something important

b) There is the feeling that both sides have each cared about the objectives
of the other

c) Each side believes that negotiations were conducted fairly

d) Each negotiator feels that he would enjoy dealing with the other at
sometime in future

e) Each party believes that the other is determined to keep to the

commitments made in the contract.

A win – win negotiator is, therefore, a person who can get what he wants out
of a negotiation and still meet the above standards while a losing negotiator
is one who has not met the above standards, no matter how many of his
objectives he gained in a negotiation.

Explain further that there are five major differences between a winning
negotiator and a losing negotiator:

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 a) Narrowing to One Issue: The first difference is the tendency by losing
negotiators to narrow the negotiations down to one issue. For instance, if
a negotiator only thinks in terms of price in a business deal, it is clear
there will have to be a winner and loser in the negotiation. Good
negotiators learn to always look for the other issues – the smaller things
behind the stumbling blocks that are also important to the people
involved.

b) Feeling Weak: The second difference is that losers always feel they have
the weaker position as they enter the negotiation. Remind participants
that we discussed so many sources of power and that power is
subjective, therefore, they should never go into a negotiation feeling the
weaker party. The other party almost always has its pressures. If they
believe they are in a position of strength, they will be better win – win
negotiators.

c) Jump to Conclusions: The third difference is the tendency that losing

negotiators have to jump to conclusions about the other party’s needs.
Much of the conflict in the world today could be resolved if people would
realize that most of the time people are not right or wrong. They are
merely seeing a problem from different perspectives. A winner never
jumps to conclusion.

d) Lack of Information: Losers often try to reach an agreement without

knowing much about their opponents and the needs that they may not
have mentioned. Take this opportunity to reemphasize the importance of
information to a successful negotiation.

e) The Opponents Position: The fifth point that separates winners from
losers is the unwillingness of a loser to appreciate the position and values
of his opponent. It is important to understand that every person acts
mainly in his own interest. In order to reach a workable agreement the
winning negotiator respects the needs and values of his opponent and
works to satisfy those needs as well as his own.

Conclusion

Conclude by letting them know that the most important of the above rules to
remember as any negotiating is begun is to never jump to a conclusion and a
winner also, realizes that money is not everything in a negotiation. With the
ideas discussed so far, it is almost always possible to reach a win-win
agreement.

5 minutes 12. CLOSING

Distribute Handout 6 - Your Negotiation Action Plan Checklist - and request

that participants use it for all their subsequent negotiations.

Distribute Handout 7 - Session Evaluation Form - and ask participants to

evaluate the session.

End by wishing participants success with their future negotiations and show
slide 37 - You can get anything you want in life, but you have to do more than
ask, YOU HAVE TO NEGOTIATE. This ensures that you end on a high note.

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HANDOUT 1

Time Limit Quiz

READING COMPREHENSION
(For each correct answer, score 5 points.)

You have only three minutes to finish this quiz.

1. Read everything before doing anything.

2. Print your name in the upper left-hand corner of this page

3. Put your address under your name; include zip code

4. On the back of this page, write the purpose of this quiz in 20 words or less

5. Circle the word “name” in sentence 2

6. Draw seven small squares in the upper right-hand corner of this page

7. Place your home telephone number in the squares. Add area code below

8. Put a circle around each square

9. Sign your name under the title of this quiz

10. After the word “title” in sentence 9, write, “yes, yes, yes”

11. Call out your first name when you get to this point in the test

12. Put a circle around each word in sentence 7

13. Put an X in the lower left-hand corner of this page

14. Draw a triangle around the X you just wrote down

15. On the reverse side of this page multiply 703 by 9805

16. Draw a rectangle around the word “page” in sentence 4

17. If you think you have followed directions up to this point, call out “I have”

18. To the left of this direction, print the number of members you’ve recruited

19. Count out loud in your normal speaking voice backwards from ten to one

20. Now that you have finished reading carefully, do what you are asked in question two and raise your
hand to signify to the group leader that you have completed the quiz within the time limit

(Source: JCI Leadership Handbook)

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HANDOUT 2
Self Check

Rate yourself on each of the 10 traits

Excellent Needs Work

1. Developing negotiation consciousness 5 4 3 2 1

2. Listening well 5 4 3 2 1

3. Having high aspirations 5 4 3 2 1

4. Being a detective: Asking questions 5 4 3 2 1

5. Having patience 5 4 3 2 1

6. Maintaining flexible assumptions 5 4 3 2 1

7. Focusing on satisfaction 5 4 3 2 1

8. Taking risks 5 4 3 2 1

9. Solving problems 5 4 3 2 1

10. Being willing to walk away 5 4 3 2 1

How did you do? You have an opportunity to work on your weak areas in your next negotiation. For example, if you
rate yourself as needing work on developing negotiation consciousness, plan to be more assertive. If you lag when it
comes to asking perceptive questions, set yourself the goal of becoming a better detective.

The areas I need to focus on are:

1. ________________________________________

2. ________________________________________

3. ________________________________________

(Source: Negotiate with Confidence – Ed Brodow)

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HANDOUT 3

WHAT INFLUENCES PEOPLE

Evaluation Sheet

As I am

1. Title As others see me

As I would like to be
As I am

2. Reward As others see me

As I would like to be
As I am

3. Coercion As others see me

As I would like to be
As I am

4. Reference As others see me

As I would like to be
As I am

5. Charisma As others see me

As I would like to be
As I am

6. Expertise As others see me

As I would like to be
As I am

7. Situation As others see me

As I would like to be
As I am

8. Information As others see me

As I would like to be

1 = worst; 10 = best

(Source: You Can Get Anything You Want But You Have To Do More Than Ask – Roger Dawson)

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HANDOUT 4

Listening Skills Checklist

Yes No Needs Improvement
1 I often find myself waiting for my “turn” to talk. ___ ____ ____

2. I am aware of the importance of listening in my daily life. ___ ____ ____

3. I realize that listening is a matter of skill, not intelligence, and I am doing something to develop my
listening skills. ___ ____ ____

4. When someone speaks to me, I give him my full attention. ___ ____ ____

5. I encourage others to talk by willingly listening instead of speaking. ___ ____ ____

6. I assume every person has something worthwhile to say, and I am anxious to understand them.
___ ____ ____

7. I use questions to guide my speaker so he will clarify his message to me.

___ ____ ____

8. I “talk” to my speaker through my actions, facial expressions, etc. ___ ____ ____

9. I give verbal feedback to tell the speaker how he is getting through to me.
___ ____ ____

10. I replay messages for clarity by saying things like, “this is how I heard what you said. Am I correct?
___ ____ ____

11. I listen past the words of an emotional speaker and help him convey his true message.
___ ____ ____

12. I am aware of the voice tone and actions that give away unstated messages.
___ ____ ____

13. I draw mental outlines as I listen so I can be sure I have got all the major points of the message.
___ ____ ____

14. I review my outlines as I listen so I don't forget important points. ___ ____ ____

15. I will complete this checklist every month ___ ____ ____

(Adapted from Junior Chamber Individual Development Series – Speaking Skills)

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HANDOUT 5
Listening Like a Negotiator

Successful negotiators resemble the television detective Columbo – they ask questions and listen. Here is how you
can emulate Columbo:

Develop the desire to listen

You must accept the fact that listening to others is your strongest weapon. Given the opportunity, the other
negotiator will tell you everything you need to know. If this doesn’t create desire, I don’t know what will.

Always let the other person do most of the talking.

This is a simple matter of mathematics. You talk 30 percent of the time, you allow them to talk 70 percent of the
time.

Don’t interrupt

There is always the temptation to interrupt so you can tell the other person something you think is vitally
important. It isn’t so don’t. When you are about to speak, ask yourself if it is really necessary.

Learn active listening.

It’s not enough that you’re listening to someone – you want to be sure that they know you’re listening. Active
listening is the art of communicating to them that you’re hearing their every word.

Always ask the other person to clarify what he or she just said.

This will clear up any misunderstanding you have.

Learn to “listen” for nonverbal messages – body language.

The other negotiator may be communicating with you via body language – you need to decode the message.

Ask a question … then be quiet.

This is a foolproof way to listen. Think of yourself as an interviewer – you’re Barbara Walters!

(Source: Negotiate with Confidence – Ed Brodow)

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HANDOUT 6
Your Negotiation Action Plan Checklist

Here is a simplified step-by-step process for you to follow in your next negotiation. You may want to keep a copy of
this handy.

Have I established my targets?

• Maximum?
• Goal?
• Bottom Line?

Do I understand my real interests – what do I really need to achieve in this negotiation?

Where should I start?
What concessions am I willing to make?
What are my options?
What are my strengths?
What is the pressure on the other side?
What are their real needs
What are their options?
What are the deadlines in this negotiation? Are they negotiable?
Are there any mutually acceptable standards/objective criteria we can use to reach agreement?
What should be in the agenda?
Where should we hold the negotiation?
How many negotiators should we have?
How can I help the other side feel satisfied?
Do we have a trusting relationship?
What can I do to create a cooperative environment?
Am I concentrating on being a good listener?
Have I identified the common ground in the negotiation – where do we agree?
What interests do we have in common?
What options exist for mutual satisfaction?
How can we expand the pie?

(Source: Negotiate with Confidence – Ed Brodow)

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HANDOUT 7
SESSION EVALUATION FORM

Seminar title: Date:

Your name (Optional): Trainer’s name:

The questions below are designed to help us evaluate the program you have just completed and to pinpoint those
areas that should be redesigned for future participants. Please take a few minutes of your time and answer as
honestly and accurately as you can. You need not sign your name unless you wish to do so.

1. Please indicate your overall reaction to the training session just completed
Very good Good Fair Poor

2. Did the topic presented relate to your needs?

A great deal Somewhat Very little Not at all

3. Will you be able to use and apply the material presented in your daily duties?
A great deal Somewhat Very little Not at all

4. Would you please give us your overall reaction to the way the trainer presented the session?

Very good Good Fair Poor

5. If used, what was your reaction to the visual aids which were used?
Very good Good Fair Poor

6. What was your reaction to the quality and content of the handout materials you received?

Very good Good Fair Poor

7. What suggestions do you have for improving this session?

_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________

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