Nonverbal Communication and Conflict

Comm 1080-501

Jennifer Mejia

Overview

Peter Drunker eloquently states, “The most important thing in communication is hearing what

isn’t said”. This is also a great way to describe nonverbal behaviors as it accounts for more than 60% of

communication! The concept of nonverbal communication will be explained in the following sections

including; what types of nonverbal communication exists, best practices to link verbal and nonverbal

communication, and how to improve nonverbal skills. Real life examples will serve to analyze how

prevalent the concept of nonverbal communication is in our day-to-day lives and how those skills can be

strengthened over time.

Theory/Concept

Nonverbal behavior is defined as message components other than words that generate meaning

(Engleberg, pg. 110). There are various types of nonverbal behavior including physical appearance, body

movement and gestures, facial expression, silence, space and distance, time, and even environment.

Have you ever gone to a mall and done “people watching” or even walked into a party to ‘read a room’?

Without ever hearing anyone talk you can witness awkward first dates, the social butterfly that is in

their natural element, or the introvert that is out of their comfort zone. The practice of simply

observing allows for an interesting chance to look at types of nonverbal expression in action.

Paul Ekman details that many nonverbal behaviors follow a set of guidelines whether it’s to

repeat, complement, accent, regulate, substitute, or contradict (Engleberg, pg. 113). Repetitive

behaviors visually repeat the same action. When your words match your nonverbal behaviors is when

you complement. You can accent a behavior by making a point to emphasize a certain feeling.
Regulation allows for easy back and forth conversations. Substitution is the use of gestures that don’t

require words, like raising your hand in school to signal that you have something to say. Contradictory

behaviors occur when your words don’t match your nonverbal cues.

With so many ways that communication can get misconstrued, it becomes necessary to rethink

our own approach. It takes a good level of emotional intelligence to recognize how others are perceiving

their interactions with you. The best tip is to be mindful of others feelings and sensitivities. This

immediacy can help to build relationships if you come across as someone who is willing to acknowledge

feelings outside of your own.

Analysis

When I consider nonverbal communication, the first thing that comes to mind is my work in

Talent Acquisition. My role is to recognize talent and identify who would be the best fit for an open

position. The layer of complexity that arises is when a phone interview is conducted versus an in-person

interview. Assessing a candidate’s skill fit and culture fit over the phone is a challenge because you are

already cutting out a majority of what makes them able to communicate effectively (especially body

language and facial expressions). Instead I need to rely on vocal expressiveness and even moments of

silence to read in between the lines of what someone is thinking as opposed to what they want me to

hear. I find in-person interviews to be a better indicator of fit because you get to evaluate someone as a

whole.

Reflection

Because of how ingrained technology is to our society, the importance of understanding

nonverbal communication increases. It has become easier to send a text message or shoot over an

instant message or even hop on the phone. Although it may take more time – the act of meeting
someone in-person and having a one-on-one chat is one of the most effective ways to build rapport and

cultivate strong relationships in my industry and in my daily life.

References

1. Engleberg, I., Wynn, D., (2011). Think Communication

Boston: Allyn & Bacon

2. [Photography of quote from Peter Drucker](2018). Retrieved from

https://www.azquotes.com/quotes/topics/nonverbal.html