For Women Only - Secret Insider Relationship Information

Copyright 2009-2010 Timothy J. “Yanz” Yancy. All Rights Reserved.
Unauthorized reproduction, distribution, or exhibition of this copyrighted material is strictly prohibited.
For Women Only!

Secret Relationship Information for the Female Persuasion
By Timm “Yanz” Yancy
For more relationship anecdotes, concepts, help, humor, ideas, jokes, opinions, philosophies, rules, secrets, 1
stories, theories, thoughts, tips and more from A to Z visit me at:www.FaceBook.com/TimmYancy or e-Mail:
YanzEbooks@gmail.com , www.scribd.com/Timm_Yanz_Yancy .
Table of Contents
Topic Page
Life Is All about Ass 3
Women’s Ass Size Study How Women Feel about Their Ass 3
Woman’s Fantasy Study 3
Assitude Theory 4
Who Understands Men 5
Three Highly Effective but Simple Steps to Meeting Men 6
Booty Call Rules - The Women' Version 7
How to Impress a Women: How to Impress a Man 8
Twenty-Five Rules Men Wished Women Knew 9
She Said = She Meant: He Said = He Meant 11
Twenty-Five Ways to Get a Fine Man 13
Sex According to Pastor Khathide 15
Twenty-Five Things Never to Say to a Man 16
Trust, Loyalty, and Betrayal 17
What Makes Men Cheat? 18
Women Who Cheat with Married Men 20
Installing Husband Vista 1.0 for Windows 21
When to Keep Your Mouth Shut 22
The Female Brain 23
The Male Brain 24
Life is All About Ass…
Life is all about ass…
You’re either covering it,
Laughing it off,
Kicking it,
Kissing it,
Busting it,
Trying to get a piece of it,
Acting like one,
Or in a relationship with one.
Women’s Ass Size Study
There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses.
The results were pretty interesting:
 30% of women think their ass is too fat…

 10% of women think their ass is too skinny……
 The remaining 60% say they don’t care, they love him, he’s a good man, and they
wouldn’t trade him for the world!
 Woman’s Fantasy

In a recent Harris On-line poll 38,562 men across the US were asked to identify woman's
ultimate fantasy. 97.8% of the respondents said that a woman's ultimate fantasy is to have two
men at once. While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most
men do not realize that in this fantasy, one man is cooking and the other is cleaning.
Ass/Attitude Theory (Assitude)
I call it “Assitude Theory” There is a direct correlation to the size and shape of a
woman’s ass and her personality and attitude, thus the word assitude is derived from that. This
theory was coined in the late 1980’s to the early 1990’s after extensive research and
investigation. I believe that women with big asses have big attitudes. I see it everywhere,
everyday. They think their sh*t does not stink. They carry their attitudes on their backs like
camels. The bigger the ass, the bigger the attitude. I dated a woman who had nice legs and no
butt, after a year on my “Thigh-Bo” Exercise program (my patented- pending thigh and booty
building program); she had an ass and an attitude to match. I created a monster. There is no
antidote for it and once changed the attitude is a permanent condition. I think that I’m going to
find me a woman with a smaller butt the next time and let it stay like it is. Don’t mess with
nature. Also stay away from GMB (Genetically Modified Booty’s) as they can be trouble as well.
Don’t bite of more than you can chew because a bad assitude is nothing to play with and can
get your ass in trouble! This is a warning, I repeat, this is a warning.
If you look at Oriental women, they don’t generally have an ass; consequently they
generally don’t have an attitude. No ass makes them docile.
No Ass = No Attitude.
Big Ass = Big Attitude
Little Ass = Little Attitude
The research speaks for itself but try your own research and find out the hard way.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you not once butt twice!
Who Understands Men?
The nice Men are ugly.
The attractive Men are not nice.
The attractive and nice Men are gay.
The attractive, nice and heterosexual Men are married.
The Men who are not so attractive but are nice Men have no money.
The Men who are not so attractive but are nice Men with money
think we are only after their money.
The attractive Men without money are after our money.
The attractive Men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual don't think we are
attractive enough.
The Men who think we are attractive, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money
are cowards.
The Men who are somewhat attractive, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God
are heterosexual are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!!
The Men who never make the first move, automatically lose Interest in us when we take the
initiative.
NOW... WHO REALLY UNDERSTANDS MEN?
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Three Highly Effective but Simple Steps to Meeting Men
Most Men think there's a magic word they can say to get a woman to talk to them. While there
is no such "magic word," there are simple everyday things that a woman can do that works
almost every single time without fail.
This is not earth-shattering stuff. What I'm about to teach you is a simple real world approach
that has worked on me every single time a women tried it. In fact I sure I’m not the only man
who has fallen for this.
Here are the three simple steps to get any man your heart desires!
Step 1. Location. Location. Location. Just like real estate, location is everything. If you want to
meet men, then you need to go where men are! Suggested places are listed below.
Step 2. Find a guy and wink at him so he knows for sure that you got your eye on him. For
added insurance lick your lips with your tongue and make sure you get them wet but don’t have
saliva dripping off them. You just might blow it if you go too far and it looks like you’re drooling
like you got rabies.
Step 3. Remove all your wear underwear. If you have a camel foot, perky nipples and / or nice
booty cheeks, they will be accented and a guy is sure to notice you. You need to separate
yourself from the pack. Raise your skirt or open your shirt and say “Let’s go”. Show him that
you mean it!
It’s that simple. This is not rocket science. Sometimes a guy may need a little coaxing so
some alcohol, weeds and condoms might not hurt.
The thing about this technique is the more you do it the better you get at it, and easier it
gets. Remember practice makes perfect. You keep this up and it may help you find the man of
your dreams one day!
Best Suggested Places to Meet Men (In No Particular Order)
Parking Lots Gentleman’s Clubs

Produce Section of Grocery Store Construction Sites
Liquor Stores or Liquor Departments Flea Markets
Home Depot The Zoo – Donkey or Zebra Area
Large Auto Parts Stores Truck Stops
Suggested Apparel to Increase Your Chances of Success
1. No Bra. 2. A Thong or No Panties 3. A Mini Shirt
Booty Call Rule: The Women’s Versions
1. Be out before the sun rises!

2. If I haven't called you by 2 a.m., you're not on tonight
3. Come prepared to lay the pipe---no lovemaking shit
4. Do not ask "can we see each other from now on"-keyword: bootie call.
5. No advanced plans.
6. All gifts accepted!
7. Always smell good.
8. Unless you're DMX or Luke, do not refer to me as one of your bitches.
9. Don't ask how my last man performed-he might be someone you
know. (He might be bigger and better)
10. Kiss anything-except my mouth.
11. Remember my name, you will scream it often
12. Pick up all your shit when you leave and take it with you.
13. Afterwards, I will get my sleep on...do not wake me.
14. I don't care if you liked it...I got mine.
15. No hickeys-save that for your girl
16. Hell no, I'm not walking you to your car; don't you know what it looks like?
17. If a guy comes over when you are there, you're my cousin.
18. I'm not your lady; no cuddling after.
19. Don't try the "I forgot the condom" thing-just let me know what flavor you like.
20. I'm not cooking dinner, but you WILL eat!!
How to Impress a Women How to Impress a Man
Show up naked.
Compliment her
Bring alcohol!
Cuddle her
Kiss her Bring weed if applicable!
Caress her
Love her
Stroke her
Tease her
Comfort her
Protect her
Hug her
Spend money on her
Wine and dine her
Buy things for her
Listen to her
Care for her
Stand by her
Support her
Go to the ends of the Earth for her
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Twenty-Five Rules That Men Wish Women Knew
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
2. No means no. Yes means yes. Maybe means yes.
3. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
4. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
5. If you did it voluntarily, we would not have to push your head down.
6. A headache that lasts for 3 months is a problem. See a doctor.
7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
8. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you do not want to
hear.
9. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
10. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics
as other Women butts, cars and trucks, the military, action movies, and what it would
be like to have sex with your girlfriend
11. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work.
Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
12. No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
**Remind us frequently beforehand.
13. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind reading ability is not
proof of how little we care about you.
14. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
15. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments
become null and void after 7 days.
16. If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad
or angry, we meant the other one.
17. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done but not both. If
you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
18. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
Get over it, and quit whining to your girlfriends - their relationship is no better.
19. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
20. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the seasons. Let it be. It is
what it is.
21. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
22. When we have to go somewhere, anything you wear is absolutely fine.
23. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
24. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
25. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a
fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
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She Said = She Meant He Said = He Meant
I’m hungry = I’m hungry
Yes = No
I’m sleepy = I’m sleepy
No = Yes
Maybe = No I’m tired = I’m tired

I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d eventually like to
have sex with you
We need = I want Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d eventually like to
have sex with you
It’s your decision = The correct decision should Can I call you sometime? = I’d eventually like to have
be obvious by now sex with you
Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later May I have this dance? = I’d eventually like to have sex
with you
Sure go ahead = I don’t want you to Nice dress = Nice cleavage
Be romantic turn the lights out = I have flabby You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to
thighs fondle you
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for What’s wrong? I don’t see why you’re making such a
something expensive big deal
How much do you love me? = I did something What’s wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
that you’re really not going to like tonight
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick your shoes off What’s wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted
and find a good game on TV trauma are you going through this time?
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful I’m bored = Do you want to have sex?
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree I love you = Let’s have sex now
with me
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better
house before
Are you listening to me? = Too late you’re Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it
dead doesn’t look that much different!
The same old thing = Nothing Let’s talk = I’m trying to impress you by showing you
that I’m a deep person and maybe you’d like to have
sex with me
Everything = My PMS is acting up Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you
to have sex with other men
I like that one better = Pick any f*cking dress and let’s
go home!!
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Twenty-Five Ways to Get a Fine Man
1. Win the lottery. Money talks and bullsh*t walks.

2. Image is everything. Stay clean and fresh. Look and smell good enough to eat.
3. Take pride in your appearance. Wear quality clothing and keep it clean, pressed and
tailored. Never ever wear wrinkled clothes outside. Wear short skirts but don’t have
your butt out. Show some cleavage whether you have boobs or not.
4. Put on clean grown women’s underwear everyday and wear grown women’s underwear
like Victoria’s Secrets and thongs.
5. Get some business cards and pass them out every opportunity that you get. They are an
extension of your poontang. Men will call. Don’t make business cards on your computer.
Buy professional raised print cards. They only cost $20.00 for 1,000 at Office Depot.
6. Hang out with fine Women. You will be seen and Men will want to meet you. Plus they
will think that you have it going on.
7. Wear some real women’s shoes, not gym shoes, and not orthopedic looking or run over
shoes.
8. Make sure your clothes are coordinated and never ever wear white panty hose with
your dress shoes unless you’re Salvation Army worker or a church usher.
9. Get some decent jewelry, nothing excessive and only on ring per hand please, unless
you’re form Mississippi, Memphis or St. Louis.
10. Get a real job. Cashiering and shampoo girl don’t count.
11. Have some pocket change (dollars please) and a credit or debit card.
12. Drop phrases like “You sure have little hands and feet to be so tall”.
13. Start using phrases like, “I need to find a new investment banker.”
14. Go to the best restaurants in town but don’t eat like a pig.
15. Keep your hair styled and nails done. Limit or eliminate your weaves and fake nail tips.
16. Get a nice apartment that you can afford to maintain by yourself.
17. Keep an extra Benz, BMW, Jaguar, or Lexus.
18. Spend some money on yourself. If you don’t, then men will think that if you’re cheap
and easy. It’s okay to be easy but not cheap.
19. Spend some money on him. It takes money to get money. It’s an investment.
20. Get a cell phone, that way you can make and receive Booty Calls.
21. Go to the barbeque house around 8:00 p.m. on Friday. That’s where fine Men
congregate. Carry a small bible; men might think that you’re the Women he prayed for.
22. Carry a current relationship book or romance novel and read it. When they ask you
questions turn it around and let them talk, you listen.
23. Hang out in the produce and sausage sections of upscale grocery store.
24. Get a part-time job at a health club or gentlemen’s club. Learn to Lap dance.
25. Drop the drama and learn to have fun.
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Sex According to Pastor Khathide (Ugandan)
A lot of people don't associate sex with God - they associate it with Satan and darkness, as if
sex is not holy... The bible is explicit when it comes to sex. Sex is holy within marriage and there
is no prescribed style. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that the missionary position is the only
sexual style. Not discussing sex in a relationship leads to divorce!!!!!.
Pastor Khathide has counseled women who've complained: my husband treats me as if I were
his brother. There was one who told him: I am tired of getting sex fortnightly, like a salary.
Khathide told her she was lucky to be getting sex fortnightly, since some wives only get it on big
days, like elections.
Many husbands leave their wives to seek sexual pleasures in Hillbrow. Have you ever asked
yourself what those women have that you don’t? Wives have become very frigid and even
sleep with their panties. If you're a married woman, you should sleep naked and let your bum
touch your husband. Today you find men going out of their way to get a glimpse of a vagina.
They page through magazines and even go to lingerie departments in stores hoping to see
what's hidden under panties, because their wives hide it from them.
Marriage is about being free with your body in front of your partner. A woman should parade
naked and do some modeling to tempt her husband. There are many married women who
don't know what their husbands' penises look like. She only feels it when he enters her. They've
never touched it, let alone seen it, because the husband switches off the lights before
undressing.
A penis is a wife’s toy - she is supposed to play with it.
He blames couples for not making time for sex and complaining about being tired after a day's
work. You find many couples who've been sexually starved for years. God created sex for
procreation and also for pleasure. You can't marry and not have a good time in bed.
WHO SAID YOU CAN ONLY HAVE SEX AT NIGHT? Why can't you drive home during lunch and
have a quickie with your wife? We’re all equal in sex - it's not just about a woman satisfying a
man. You have to satisfy each other. Have you ever seen a woman who has been satisfied?
Have u noticed how she glows and becomes energetic?
This is the whole truth, nothing but the truth' so God told us from the beginning.
May the Lord Bless you.
Twenty-Five Things Never to Say to a Man
1. You look like you make good babies

2. Does it get any bigger than that?
3. You remind me of my babies daddy
4. Is that all you’ve got?
5. Understand?
6. Vienna sausage?
7. Are you related to A.C. Greene?
8. What kind of car do you drive?
9. I’m allergic to condoms.
10. You sound just like your mother.
11. My last boyfriend didn’t mind that.
12. That’s a man’s job.
13. Are you going to pay for it?
14. If you were a real Man you’d …
15. If you really loved me you’d …
16. Can I borrow some money?
17. Can I borrow your car?
18. Is that your real hair?
19. It’s a woman’s thing you wouldn’t understand it.
20. Do your kids have to come along?
21. When it comes to knowing how to treat a Woman, Men have a long way to go.
22. Why are Men so difficult on a Woman?
23. Do you mind if my mother comes along?
24. Don’t be so insecure. He’s just a friend.
25. Come on and Help a Women out
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Trust, Loyalty and Betrayal
If your relationship isn’t built on trust, then you don’t have too much of a relationship at
all. Trust is the foundation of a solid relationship just like concrete is the foundation for a
house. Can you trust too much or trust too little that is the question? You must have faith in
you relationship in order for you relationship to work. If you don’t you imagination will run wild
and you will think of all kinds of crazy things that don’t exist.
I am probably one of the most loyal people to know as long you are on my side. Loyalty
is one of the most important virtues that a person can have. It goes right along with trust. I take
it hard when I’m betrayed because of my loyalty and allegiance to whatever relationship I’m in
whether it’s love, work, or friendship. Only your friends and family can betray you. No one else
can get close enough to hurt you.
The opposite of loyalty is betrayal. Unfortunately some people just aren’t honest. Only
people that are close to you can betray you. Nothing hurts like betrayal, and only your friends
and family can do this to you. They have to be close to you. I’ve been there and it’s not a good
feeling. That’s part of the reason that I’m writing this book. It’s part of my therapy to get over it.
Forgive and forget. That’s about the most stupid thing that I ever heard. Why is it always
someone who has never been through what you had who tells you that? If they were in the
same situation, there would have been casualties, they would have snapped. Until you walk in a
person’s shoes, you can tell how they feel. How can you forgive and forget? It just can’t be
done. I might forgive but I won’t forget. Something you can never forget. In fact the harder you
try to forget something, the more you remember it.
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What Makes Men Cheat?
First we need to define what is cheating. Cheating is different things to different people.
Some especially women have different views on what cheating is than men do. To a woman
looking or talking to another woman is cheating. Going out for lunch with another woman is
cheating. Getting some tail is cheating. Is all cheating created equal? That’s a little too extreme
if you ask me.
To men cheating is something different and that also depends on what man you ask. I
think a more reasonable definition of cheating is having a sexual relationship of your current
relationship without the consent of whoever you are in the relationship with.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with looking at another person, the problem comes
when your other half makes a big deal out of it or you do it in her presence. Some people are
more secure than others and if they are insecure about you looking at someone else then you
are in for problems. There are other psychological issues at hand that go much deeper than you
looking at someone else. You are not a horse going through life with blinders on. You are a
person. Life has so much pain, sorrow and ugliness going that you need a peep at something
beautiful and exciting to keep you from getting more depressed.
A man goes astray mainly because of three things: Urges, insecurity, and opportunity.
When a man has urges that he can’t satisfy at home he has a greater tendency to satisfy
his urges away. I’m not saying that this is a good thing. It’s not. Sometimes we need to suppress
our urges and exercise some self-control.
When a man is secure with himself, he will not question his inner self as far as trying to
go outside of the home to find what he thinks he is missing. When a man is insecure and a
woman comes along that makes him feel good and satisfies this need, he will cheat.
Basically cheating comes down to one thing, and that’s not having self-control. Again let
me emphasize that getting head is not cheating. Giving head is cheating. Looking at other
women is not cheating and neither is having lunch or dinner with a woman unless she is on the
menu.
The Answer is: Forget all that theory and scientific crap about chemicals released when
you get excited and man is an animal and in mature males always have many females to breed
with. It’s all bull crap. Men are no different from women in this regards. People cheat because
of sex and that’s the bottom line. They want some and they have the opportunity to do it.
The question is can your forgive someone for cheating? If not I believe you did not really
want to be with that person in the first place and were looking for a way out especially if money
is involved. This is the litmus test. If someone cheats on you and it’s your spouse and you can’t
forgive them will you leave without any assets? If no you are full of crap as well. A friend of
mine told me if his wife cheated it’s no big deal. It’s only poontang. Also it is like a ticket for
him to get some as well, she can’t be mad at him is he got some and she did the same thing. It’s
like being a hypocrite. I think that’s a novel approach. Just like a “Get Out of Jail Free Card” but
for sex. It’s not that serious. I’ve been through it and I lived. I’ve been on both side of the
equation and it feels better on one side than the other but life goes on.
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Women Who Cheat with Married Men
I think they need to be lined up and shot in the head along with the married brother.
They are both detriments to society. If he found out someone was poking his wife, he’d want
to kill someone. These are the same women who say a good man is hard to find, or all the good
men are married. First, they are not good men because if they were married why are they
fooling around? Second, why would a self respecting, good man want a tramp like them
anyway? He would want a good woman. Justify it anyway you want to. They’re all still sluts.
You know a Man’s married when he tells you to call him at work, or page him but you
can’t call him at home. It’s something suspect about this. If he tells you that he’s getting a
divorce, either he’s lying or he’s not. Wait until he gets his divorce finalized before you hook up
with him. He can wait and if he can’t wait find someone else. I know it’s not easy. I’ve been
there myself. He is most likely not going to leave his wife for you. Think about this, if he left his
wife for you, why wouldn’t he leave you for another woman? It makes sense to me. Some
women want a married man because he has other commitments and can’t take up a lot of her
time. It’s only for sexual reasons. Ladies, please find a single man. He might not try to sweat you
any more than married guys. Who knows, it may just work out and he will probably treat you
better.
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INSTALLING HUSBAND Vista 1.0 for Windows
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend XP 5.0 to Husband Vista 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow
down in overall system performance - particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which
operated flawlessly under Boyfriend XP 5.0.
In addition, Husband Vista 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5
and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0.
and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried
running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate House Wife
Dear Desperate House Wife:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend XP 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband Vista 1.0 is an
Operating System. Please enter the command: http: I Thought You Loved Me.htm and try to
download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt Trip 3.0 update. If that application
works as designed, Husband Vista 1.0 should then automatically run the applications jewelry
2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to
default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that
will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background, which
will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the
Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications will crash Husband 1.0. and may
also cause Divorce 50/50 Version 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn
new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory
and performance. We recommend Hot Wings 3.0 and Lingerie 9.0.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
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When to keep your mouth Shut! Don’t open your mouth…
1. In the heat of anger. Proverbs 14:17

2. When you don’t have all of the facts. Proverbs 18:13
3. When you haven’t verified the story. John 7:50
4. If your words will offend a weaker brother. Corinthians 8:9
5. If your words will be a poor reflection of the Lord on your friends and family. Philippians
1:27
6. When you are tempted to make light of holy things. Matthew 12:36
7. When you are tempted to joke about sin. Proverbs 14:9
8. If you would be ashamed of your words later. Proverbs 8:8
9. If your words convey a wrong impression. Proverbs 17:27
10. If the issue is none of your business. Proverbs 4:24
11. When you are tempted to tell an outright lie. Proverbs 4:24
12. If your words will damage someone’s reputation. Proverbs 16:27
13. If your words would destroy a friendship. Proverbs 16:28
14. When you are feeling critical. Roman 14:4
15. If you can’t speak without yelling. James 1:20
16. When it is time to listen. Proverbs 18:21
17. If you’ve already said it more than one time. (Then it becomes nagging) Proverbs 19:13
18. When you are tempted to flatter a wicked person. Proverbs 24:24
19. When you are supposed to be working instead. Proverbs 14:23
“Whoso keepth his mouth and his tongue, keepth his soul from trouble.”
Proverbs 21:23
Complied by Jessie Rice Sandberg
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The Female Brain
The Male Brain
Available Soon in eBook!
“Women by the Numbers”
“50 Different Types of Women

that Men Know but Wish We Didn’t!
100 Plus Pages
By
Timothy “Yanz” Yancy, H.B.O.
(Head Brother of Operations)
Exclusive Internet Only Special

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What the Critics are saying...
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“These are life lessons learned from another Ladies Man” Leon P. Chicago, Illinois.
“A highly conceptual, thought provoking, hard-hitting look at African-American male and

female relationships of which is expected to be a major publishing event.” T.R. Chicago, Illinois.
"This is like a Man’s version of waiting to exhale." M. A. Chicago, Illinois.
“Yanz is so money!”. NYC Players Club, NYC, N,Y.
“A Drastic reality! His book is like a course in Contemporary Men’s Thinking 101. It’s the
definitive What Men Want.” C. J. Detroit, Michigan.
“Conventional wisdom and unconventional thought” J. P. Virginia Beach, Virginia.
"This is a window to the heart and soul of today's urban man" M. J. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
"Yanz shares a deep and moving personal insight into the mind of today’s Men. He's so
sensitive, deep, insightful, and crazy." C.B. Chicago, Illinois.
“You share the joys and pain the ups and downs of what Men go through in relationships. Yanz,
thanks a million" F. D. Los Angles, California.
"Very provocative and funny. This book should be required reading" M.S. Chicago, Illinois.
"It's about time someone had the courage to open themselves up and let the world know how a
Man feels. I love you man." D. P. Las Vegas, Nevada.
"You are destined to become the next as Michael Baisden, Adie Davis, Eric Jerome Dickey, E.
Lynn Harris, Williams July II, Camika C. Spencer, Omar Tyree, and Franklin White, Terry
McMillian, Tony Morrison, or Walter Mosley" Mom, Chicago, Illinois.
"Outrageous! This book should be banned. Yanz is the Dr. Jack Korvorkian of relationships. He is
one crazy mofo." M. V. Chicago, Illinois.
"Buy yourself a copy, then buy one for your friends and family. It's a can't do without book"
Yanz, Chicago, IL.
Disclaimer: No celebrity endorsements intended or implied.
Contents
“Women by the Numbers”
50 Different Types of Women That Men Know but Wish We Didn’t!
1. B.A.P.S (Black American Princesses)

2. Bearillas
3. B.A.P. (Black American Princess)

4. Bearliia
5. Begging Ass Women
4. Broke Ass Women
5. Clueless Women
6. Complainers
7. Conscious One’s
8. Different Women
9. Difficult Sisters
10. Drama Queens
11. Evasive Women
12. Ewoks
13. Fuguly
14. Gigglers
15. Gold Digging Women
16. Hating Women
17. Hired Help
18. Homebodies
19. Indecisive Women
20. Know-it-All Women
21. Leprechauns
22. Lushes
23. Ms. Bad Attitude
24. Ms. Church Girl
25. Ms. Good Time
26. Ms. I Can’t Find a Good Brother Out There Sista
27. Ms. I’d Like to Sleep with you but… Women
28. Ms. Thang
29. Ms. Too Good To Be True
30. My Babies Momma

31. Natural Women
32. Neurotic Women
33. Peddlers
34. Plain Jane Women
35. Poetic Justices
36. Psycho Women
37. Quiet Women
38. Self Important Women
39. Shoulda Woulda Coulda Women
40. Smokers
41. Something for Nothing Women
42. Stalkers
43. Straight Women with No Job
44. Talkers
45. TalkSingy Women
46. The "I Hadda" Women
47. Type A Women
48. WeMe Women
49. Whiners
51. Worriers
Excerpts
B.A.P.S (Black American Princesses)
A.K.A. Stuck Up B*tch, Siddity
These Women prefer shopping to sex. They are always getting their hair or nails done.
Other wise they can be found at the day spa.
Advantages: Well kept, and well maintained
Disadvantages: High maintenance. Lots of attitude. Bad sex, Excessive lip service, always
complaining, selfish
Bearillas
A.K.A. Coyote Ugly
We’ve all seen them wandering around the neighborhood. They are big, ugly, and come
in all sizes and colors but usually brown, black and polar bearillas. They look like a cross
between a bear and a gorilla, thus we call them Bearillas. They are just like Yogi, always trying
to get something for nothing . and they want you to feed them. The problem is once you feed
them you can’t get rid of them!
Advantages: I just throw them some change, a sandwich, raw meat, anything to keep them
away.
Disadvantages: They should be an endangered species and almost extinct, but somebody is
having sex with them and having more Bearilla cubs.
Begging Ass Women
A.K.A. Begging Ass Women
She not praying she’s begging. I guess that praying can be a form of begging God. She
always scheming trying to get something for nothing. She never has a dime. Their favorite
phrase is “Can you help a sister out”. I’ll help her out of my damn car. That’s how I’ll help a
sister out.
Advantages: Her phone is cut off so she can’t call a brother.
Disadvantage: Doesn’t have any money and won’t get any.
Broke Ass Women
(Also see Begging Ass Women, Tight Asses Women)
A.K.A. Cheap Ass Women
They don’t spend a dime, bring their lunch to work, don’t get their hair or nails done,
and wear run over shoes. When gas pumps say $1.20 9/10 th they can get the 1/10th change
back. If you put a lump of coal up her butt they could fart out a diamond. Her money is always
balled up in her purse somewhere.
Advantages: None
Disadvantages: They are tight with everything including the poontang and it’s not that good.
They say, “I just gave you some three weeks ago”, like it’s on rations. Getting some from them
is like pulling teeth from a lion with your hands.
Difficult Sisters
A.K.A. Out of Control Women
They just don’t get it right. It’s always someone else that’s the cause of the
problem, never her. Nothing’s ever right.
Advantages: Above average sex. She needs to have her frustrations taken out and she has
a lot of frustrations.
Disadvantages: It’s not worth the hassle.
Hating Women
A.K.A. Mad Jealous Women
This Woman needs no explanation. She’s mad, she’s evil, and she’s coming to a
neighborhood near you soon if she’s not already there. Some Man did her wrong and now all
men are dogs. Men are good for nothing, a Man can’t do sh*t for her. She’s pissed off and mad
at the world. Remember, jealousy is all the fun you think someone else is having. She’s listed
twice because she is cross-categorical. This is not unusual.
Advantages: None.
Disadvantages: Stay out of her way. She’ll hurt you. She’s like an animal that’s been wounded
but is still alive waiting to get the hunter before it dies. She’s the most dangerous Women out
there.
Know-it-All Women
A.K.A. Know-it-Alls
Always have to be right. They have all the answers to the worlds problems, but their
lives are f*cked up. You can’t tell them anything and then when something happens she asks
why didn’t you tell her. It’s because you know everything.
Advantages: She works, so you can borrow money from her and get head.
Disadvantages: Having to put up with her mouth when she’s not giving you head.
Ms. Thang
Ex-High School Prom Queen
A.K.A.- Fake Ass Halle Berry Wannbe
“I could have been Michael Jordan’s wife if I wanted too.”
Back in the day she had it going on. She went with the Captain of every team sport in
high school and was the prom queen. Now, that’s all in her past because now she has a bunch
of kids and big legs, big breast, big stomach and big everything else. Her best days have been
over a long time ago but she’s still cute.
Advantages: Has connections at all the local fast food restaurants and chicken shacks.
Disadvantages: Still has a cute face and nice breastesis, but is now overweight from the
breastesis down. She has t.b. (Two belley’s); she has a gut that will put a truck driver to shame,
but still thinks she has it going on. Has five kids from five different daddies, all of them fake ass
Michael Jordan’s wannabes.
The “I Hadda” Women

A.K.A. Broke Ass Mooch
“I hadda a Benz. I hadda a condo and I hadda a job!”
Advantages: She treats you like a King, so that you will take care of her broke ass!
Disadvantages: She’s broke as Hell!!!

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Copyright 2009-2010 Timothy J. “Yanz” Yancy. All Rights Reserved.

Unauthorized reproduction, distribution, or exhibition of this copyrighted material is strictly prohibited.

For Women Only!

Life is All About Ass…

Life is all about ass…

You’re either covering it,

Trying to get a piece of it,

Acting like one,

Or in a relationship with one.

Women’s Ass Size Study

 30% of women think their ass is too fat…

Ass/Attitude Theory (Assitude)

Big Ass = Big Attitude

Little Ass = Little Attitude

Who Understands Men?

The nice Men are ugly.

The attractive Men are not nice.

The attractive and nice Men are gay.

The attractive, nice and heterosexual Men are married.

The attractive Men without money are after our money.

NOW... WHO REALLY UNDERSTANDS MEN?

Three Highly Effective but Simple Steps to Meeting Men

Best Suggested Places to Meet Men (In No Particular Order)

Parking Lots Gentleman’s Clubs

Suggested Apparel to Increase Your Chances of Success

1. No Bra. 2. A Thong or No Panties 3. A Mini Shirt

Booty Call Rule: The Women’s Versions

1. Be out before the sun rises!

How to Impress a Women How to Impress a Man

Twenty-Five Rules That Men Wish Women Knew

She Said = She Meant He Said = He Meant

I’m hungry = I’m hungry

I’m sleepy = I’m sleepy

Maybe = No I’m tired = I’m tired

Twenty-Five Ways to Get a Fine Man

1. Win the lottery. Money talks and bullsh*t walks.

Sex According to Pastor Khathide (Ugandan)

Twenty-Five Things Never to Say to a Man

1. You look like you make good babies

Trust, Loyalty and Betrayal

What Makes Men Cheat?

Women Who Cheat with Married Men

INSTALLING HUSBAND Vista 1.0 for Windows

Dear Tech Support,

Dear Desperate House Wife:

When to keep your mouth Shut! Don’t open your mouth…

1. In the heat of anger. Proverbs 14:17

The Female Brain

The Male Brain

Available Soon in eBook!

“Women by the Numbers”

“50 Different Types of Women

Timothy “Yanz” Yancy, H.B.O.

(Head Brother of Operations)

Exclusive Internet Only Special

What the Critics are saying...

“A highly conceptual, thought provoking, hard-hitting look at African-American male and

"This is like a Man’s version of waiting to exhale." M. A. Chicago, Illinois.

“Yanz is so money!”. NYC Players Club, NYC, N,Y.

“Conventional wisdom and unconventional thought” J. P. Virginia Beach, Virginia.

Disclaimer: No celebrity endorsements intended or implied.

1. B.A.P.S (Black American Princesses)

3. B.A.P. (Black American Princess)

30. My Babies Momma