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Jonah Lehrer’s article, “Don’t! The Secret of Self Control” describes Dr. Walsh Mischel’s famous marshmallow
experiment as well as encompassing later experiments derived from a simple psychological test to “identify [the] mental
processes that allowed some people to delay [instant] gratification.” Through numerous years and hundreds of hours, of
observing and analyzing young 4‐year olds proceed through the marshmallow test, Dr. Walsh has noticed that “low
delayers, the children who rang the bell quickly, seemed more likely to have behavioral problems, both in school and at
home. They got lower SAT scores; they struggled in stressful situations, often had trouble paying attention, and found it
difficult to maintain friendships.” On the other hand, Carolyn Weisz, now a 44 year old woman, who was an
undergraduate at Stanford, received a Ph.D. in social psychology at Princeton, is considered “a textbook example of a
high delayer.” Carolyn Weisz’s older brother, Craig, tested as a low delayer, even admits that there were moments in his
life where he could have “make [made] better career choices and stuff.” Considering these unshakable facts presented,
wouldn’t it be reasonable to say that being a high delayer is actually the “only way to achieve success in life?” However,
as logical as these statistics prove to be, with a moral conviction beyond academic achievement and monetary goals, I
have to disagree that success only implies to entering either ivy league colleges or making enormous amounts of money.
Success does not only imply to making money or entering well known universities, a general belief that society holds;
success can mean different things to different people. Success is a state that is achieved when a certain goal that is set
for someone has been met. In this light, success can be meeting a goal such as being the world’s best video game
player. Regardless of whether it’s a high or low delayer, depending on their passion and determination, they can
succeed to be, for instance, the world’s best video game player. Success is a journey, regardless of being a high
or low delayer. These “titles” are bestowed because of the mental capacities for self‐control. Society would immediately
jump to the conclusion that whoever possessed the most intelligence would be most likely to have success in life.
However, Dr. Walsh argues that “intelligence is largely at the mercy of self‐control: even the smartest kids still need to
do their homework.” Therefore, through logic and reason, we can state that as long as one has some degree of self‐
control, then they may be able to set goals for themselves and accomplish those goals, soon achieving their idea of
success.
Furthermore, if children that were diagnosed at the young age of four were considered “low delayers”, how could that
possibly nullify their chances for success? Possessing a genetic trait for better self control doesn’t necessarily mean that
they are the only ones who can walk the path of success. Success is a bunch of accomplishments built upon each other.
Everyone can feel successful if they set their mind to what they’re trying to accomplish. Throughout adolescent years,
there is a vast time frame for a number of different factors to alter someone’s approach to how they perform in school,
how they interact with peers and so forth. Jonah Lehrer has implemented another fellow researcher’s input on this
ongoing research. Yuichi Shoda, a psychology professor at the University of Washington has even once said, “We’re
incredibly complicated creatures.” Whether it’s a spiritual will power or a factual chemical reaction, humans can have a
chance to be successful. “Intelligence is really important, but it’s still not as important as self‐control,” further develops
the concept that people, whether smart or average, can nonetheless rise above themselves and be successful. It
is also imperative to understand that success is also based upon one’s character. Even classified as a high delayer, if they
refuse to follow rules, work hard, or are prone to a bad attitude, how far can they succeed in life? Following the mantra,
“character matters for success”, if someone is murky and indecisive without a clear understanding of success, then how
are they going to work towards something they do not understand? The definition of success can help envision the
rough journey that must be traversed in order to reach a goal. Success will have ups and downs, accomplishments and
the inevitable, mistakes and failures. However, these are all just stepping stones towards the bigger mindset, the finish
line. Even from a perspective of “low delayers”, if they are willing to accept help and assistance from fellow adult
figures, it can encourage development for better self discipline. Dr Walsh particularly notes that “the substantial subset
of people who failed the marshmallow task as four‐year‐olds ended up being high delaying adults.” If someone does not
have the persistence or the patience to endure the journey, despite all the intelligence in the world, taking a halfhearted
venture would prove futile and utterly worthless. Once again, the concept of self discipline in order to create and set
goals for oneself is greatly emphasized.
Lastly, as a fellow gifted and talented writer, I would like to share my strategies for success. First of all, the author, Jonah
Lehrer points out one of Dr. Walsh’s conclusions, “strategic allocation of attention.” The children who resisted the
temptation would do other things to occupy their interest resulting in their desire being forgotten, rather than being
vanquished. Self control and knowing how to overcome obstacles and “outsmart shortcomings” are crucial, to have an
“ability to direct the spotlight of attention so that our decisions aren’t determined by the wrong thoughts.” My strategy
used to achieve success is mainly to set goals for myself and strive to meet its requirements in a set period of time. I also
always keep in mind that self control is absolutely vital towards success. It encompasses decision making, fundamental
character strength, and performance later on in life. Success is not only based on what genes you inherited or
intelligence you possess, it is determined by setting goals and then meeting them to the best of one’s ability. Like what
Dr. Walsh Mischel’s famous marshmallow advocates, “intelligence is really important, but it’s still not as important as
self‐control.”
Comments: Your essay is thought out and carefully developed. You present your position to the reader quite clearly
and continue to develop that position consistently throughout the essay. Also, you effectively utilize quotes from
Jonah Lehrer’s essay in order to create a conceptual dialogue between his position and the position which you are
constructing within your essay. There are few spelling or grammar mistakes; however, you consistently refer to Dr.
Walsh in your essay. This is a problem, since his name is Dr. Walter Mischel. Remember, it is important to accurately
quote information from any essays or other sources that you may be referencing in your writing. What would make
your essay even stronger is if you had developed a more complicated thesis position. One of the tasks of college level
reading is to be able to tackle more complex claims and positions in your writing.
Grade: B
developed and larger context for the
presented throughout conversation
B+ Independent thinking Uses textual evidence with Generally well organized
consistently developed confidence and authority May develop a secondary
Engages more complex Student’s ideas in control emerging thesis which
ideas in the readings throughout paper complicates the original
Begins to grasp Text evidence used well to argument
complexity of own both support and complicate
position or develops the thesis
secondary emerging
thesis
B Thesis articulated from Takes some interpretive risks Sustained meaningful Minimal errors
the outset with text structure Minimal or no
Advances independent Works with a variety of textual Reasonable coherence in mechanical, citation
ideas evidence presentation or formatting errors
Thesis more coherent Texts used in service of project Controlled development
than C‐level and to provide support for it of thesis
Thesis may be somewhat Smoother transition and
limited or developed in a topic sentences than C‐
repetitive way range
C+ Has a thesis but not Moments of solid work with Has relationships between Sentence level
clearly articulated from texts and use of adequate paragraphs errors under control
outset textual evidence Transitions and topic May have some
Moves toward Engages in more complicated sentences begin to mechanical, citation,
independent thesis, ideas in readings emerge or formatting errors
showing an emerging Connective thinking may be Has some coherence but
coherence of ideas implicit lacks meaningful structure
found in B‐range papers
C Thesis emerges at end of Works with more than one Some coherent Sentence level
paper from discussion of source relationships between errors do not
the text Vague sense that student’s paragraphs significantly impede
Takes clear position at voice is contributing to the Paragraphs may exhibit meaning
least once conversation “emerging topic Some mechanical,
Thesis may be vague or Adequate reading sentences” citation, and/or
general comprehension and use of formatting errors
textural evidence
NP No thesis in evidence Poor reading comprehension/ Little coherence from Sentence level
Thesis buried in misinterpretation paragraph to paragraph errors impede
summary Lacks meaningful connection Lacks organizational meaning
Little or no relationship between texts or with structure Patterns of error
between texts and thesis student’s own position Weak use of paragraphs, Failure to proofread
Privileges student’s ideas with few or no clear topic Serious errors in
Weak use of textual evidence sentences citation conventions
Over‐generalizes about the
text