Preliminary We will continue with the theme of coherence and cohesion by now looking at the logic and organisation needed for more maturely written essays. Let us think about essay organisation in general, Students often write essays which are organised as follows. -” Exercise 22 | think [Opinion] | Consider the following: ‘One reason is [Reason 1]. | LWhyn ght the writer not be ‘right’? ‘Another reasoxi is [Reason 2] 2. What might be a problem about this essay? Athird reason is [Reason 3] 3. How would you “fix” this? 2 a 4. What are the “dangers* involved in In conclusion, because of [Reason 1,2, fixing it? and 3}, | am right. ‘The IELTS Writing Band Descriptors can find nothing wrong with the above essay in terms of Coherence & Cohesion, Lexical Resource, or Grammatical Range & Accuracy, It may even score very highly in these categories if it iv written well. But here are three problems. Problem 1 For weaker writers, the difficulty of thinking of rhree reasons ean lead to too much repetition in grammar and argument so much that a Band Score Five is a likely result. Problem 2 The argument is certainly one-sided, and therefore not very adult or deep. The reader immediately thinks about the ‘other side’ of the argument, and immediately thinks of counter~ 1ESS eS ie Pend 52 reasons. This means the Task Response category could be affected. Problem 3 As Tip 17 will explain, the task coufd ask you to: “Discuss hoth sides, and give your opinion’, If we do have this task requirement, it means we must consider both sides of the argument, since (as Tip 3 explained), we must fulfil the task. This third problem is the most significant. You need to develop the grammar, planning, essay- organising, and ideas-forming skills to argue both sides, just in case you are asked to do so. This means that you should be looking at the other side for any’ essay requirement, since doing this will help deal with Problems I and 2 ‘Thus, as an ‘exam-attack’ strategy, we will u what extent...agree or disagree” task requirement. We will look at how to organise such an essay in this tip, Tip 9. We will also use a fuller “other side’ approach for an ‘Argue both sides” task requirement, and we will look at this in Tip 17. a ‘look at the other side” approach for the “To Hint 1: Balancing the Argument So, we have concluded that we should balance our essay. One way to do this would be to structure each of our three body paragraphs as follows. Reason [x]. ‘Support for Reason [X]. Although (Other side to Reason [X)), (Counter-argument to this). Is an interesting way to write, but the paragraph has three separate features which must all fit together. This may be difficult. In addition, elear to in IELTS wri paragraph, instead of connecting it inside others. This is the approach this book will take. The problem 1s, when using the opinion-led essay structure as we have decided to do, such balancing is not always easy. sentences and paragraphs are rewarded so it is probably better to add this “other side’ discussion in its own separate ’ Exercise 23 have added an ‘other side’ paragraph [Paragraph 4] to our ‘banning cars’ ess clear nposts), but there is a big problem. 1, What is the problem? 2, How could you ‘fix’deine 1. [Opening]... | believe that cars should not be banned from city centres. 2. The first reason is that it would be far too impractical. [And so on} 3. The second reason why city centres should not ban cars is that it would be far too unpopular. [And so on] 4, However, banning cars would reduce pollution. This would make the centres cleaner. [And so on} Let us analyse the essay. Okay, Paragraph 1 gives the writer's opinion [not to ban cars} Okay, Paragraph 2 supports this. (It's impractical] Okay, Paragraph 3 supports this. [It's unpopular] Okay, Paragraph 4...huh? But | thought the writer didn’t want cars banned? So why does he write that cars cause pollution, and that banning them would have good results? Huh? | don't understand! So, in order to ‘fix’ this essay, Paragraph 4 needs to be re-written. This paragraph must show the ‘other side” of the argument, so we need to use one of the supporting pi usually the strongest one. You wrote this down in the planning stage [See Tip 6, Part One] nts from this other side, But, since itis the ovher side of our opinion in the first paragraph, it cannot be introduced as our opinion. It is the opinion of ‘other’ people, not us. And since “they” disagree with us, we must disagree with ‘them’, and prove ‘them’ wrong. So, this means that the ‘other side’ must be: 1. introduced as the opinion of someone else. 2. introduced somewhat weakly (since it is not what we believe). To do this, we can limit the a. number of people [‘Some’], andlor the b. strength of their belief [might claim’] 3. counter-argued (or argued against), so that it will support our opinion in Paragraph 1. So, following these three rules, we could “fix” the ‘banning cars” essay by writing: 4, 'Some® people? might claim that banning cars would reduce pollution. They* say this would make the centres cleaner. However, this argument is wrong.* The surrounding factories and industry will continue to produce pollution. Cars just outside the centre will continue to produce pollution. It will simply drift across. It will equally pollute the air 1.Not beginning with “On the other hand’ or “However” since these words are in our voice, suggesting that the sentence which follows is our opinion (which itis not) 2.Using “people’ or “they*to give the opinion in someone else's voice 3. Using ‘some’ and/or *might* to weaken the argument. “May” and ‘could are also possible 4. Beginning the eounte 53