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Date With Destiny 2017

In interventions I would just randomly write he/she. Sometimes you might get confused with
pronouns especially, I just tried all I could to write down as much as I could.

Hope the notes help!


Love and hate are the strongest forces in the world.

To everyone in the room: you’ve sold yourselves so short. The fact that you showed up to DWD
proves that you’re the best of the crop. It proves that you’re driven and hungry and willing to do
something about it.

We all have an area in our life where our energy drops and life kinda sucks. ​Motion is the most
powerful and quickest force to change your emotion.

#1 Tell the truth. The worst person to lie to is yourself. Only the truth will set us free. Don’t
hesitate to tell the truth. Find who you are today. If the truth doesn’t sound good… don’t worry,
you’ll let go of it.

We all need a shit fuck ton of energy.

EXECUTION trumps knowledge every day. Charisma is an energy. Our standards for energy
have dropped so low.

Low energy = low quality of life.

If you get that emotional muscle, you become a predator that destroys challenges rather than a
prey overcome by it. No matter what, you’re strong enough.

Saying “I know” fucks you and your life over. ​Don’t be a cocky bitch. Be a lifelong student rather
than someone who “knows everything.”

3 Levels Of Understanding

1) Cognitive- ​You know it intellectually. You understand. But knowing isn’t enough.
2) Emotional Mastery- ​You feel it. You link emotional consequences. Example: you jump
over a fence and a dog bites you. Next time you’re going to feel fear jumping over that
3) Physical Mastery- ​Doing it consistently. You embody it and own it in your physiology,
it’s your identity.

“​The quality of my life is the quality of my emotions that I live in everyday”

Cats story: There were cats that were raised in environments where they had to go through
horizontal lines. But once they had to go through vertical lines they had no idea wtf to do. They
grew up in horizontal lines! Your brain grows as if it’s stimulated, so you can’t see what to do
when vertical lines show up.

Hunger is the most important ingredient to an extraordinary life.

2 Master Skills Of Life

1) Science of Achievement
How can I get what I want fastest, easiest, funnest?
We all need a change of emotion and behavior. We all have an emotional home.
Our gift is to creating a great emotional life when shit all falls apart.
But this doesn’t guarantee fulfillment.

“​Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.”

2) Art of Fulfillment
Growing and giving is where the most fulfillment comes from.
The art of fulfillment is different for everyone, for some people it’s planting gardens, reading
books, writing poetry.

Why would you set a goal and not work for it? Because you’re scared you’ll fail.

Our deepest fears - I’m not enough and I won’t be loved.

And love is the oxygen of life!

Because of this you take one step forward and once fear shows up you take three steps back

We act like “Do I have enough money? What do people think of me?” As survival. This is our
modern day saber toothed tiger.

When do people really start to live?

When they face death. Little things become important, things you took for granted.
Death is a GOOD counselor.
If death came to you one day, you’d try to negotiate with it! You’d say please give me more time!
Just one more week.
Death would say… okay if I gave you one more week what would you do?
You’d say “I’d tell my family how much I love them, appreciate every moment….”

Death says, “You had 70 years to do this shit, BYE! You’re coming with me.”

What would you give if this was your last week of life?
How would you treat others?
How would you treat yourself?
How much passion would you pour into everyday?
What truth would you tell?

We live in a world that’s conditioned us to ask… What do I want in the moment? And if we don’t
get it, we’re pissed off!

In today’s world people are branded something before it’s even proven.

Decisions shape your destiny.

We shrink our world in people who agree with us, so it’s okay!

When you find yourself in pain… stop worrying, do something of value and get outside of



1) What are you going to focus on?

You’ll feel it even if it isn’t true. Some people bullshit and color things in their mind to meet their
needs. Focus = feeling. Bring compassion to this. Take back control of this. The harsher we
judge others the harder we judge ourselves. There’s a way to redemption. Intent: ​Serve more
than yourself.

2) What does it mean?

Is god punishing me or challenging me?
Is this a gift from god?
Meaning = Emotion
Emotion = Life
Get a new emotional home!
No amount of people loving you will make your life better if your home is sadness

3) What are you going to do?

Give up? Get new belief structures?
Put your body in place first then your emotions will follow.

If you fail to change you want something consciously but want something else unconsciously.
Use the most intense words to get to the truth. As long as you use softeners, you won’t change.

Intervention #1
Everything in her is coming from fear.

Faith VS Fear
(Dedicated to being certain because (Imagination, undirected weed)

When you are low energy, fear comes automatically

When you have high energy, fear is there BUT you’re more excited
Language often traps us
Personalities are like dogs. Name them, and CALL THEM TO YOU.
Tony Robbins is who he is because he conditioned himself. TRAINING NEVER stops.
Identity - the way you define yourself
You don’t know how to make a decisions, if you don’t know who you are. We lock ourselves in
one identity. The strongest force in any personality is the need to stay consistent with how we
define ourselves. Identity has controlled your whole life. People don’t get goals they get their
identity and musts. Retrain and put the right personality in charge. Try to drive into the future
with a rearview mirror in front of you...not gonna work out.
Control is NOT love.
What you’re reinforced for in one area, you’re not for another.
Condition your wanted identity to be the primary one.
Meanings come from your blueprint. But your blueprint came from someone else… from whose
love you craved the most.
Train forgiveness, love, courage.

Become a master of MEANING, to master life.​ Others focus more on control, honey
focus on MEANING.
Our perceptions feel true to us, but are they?
Have you ever deleted, distorted, and generalized?
Girl is living someone else’s game plan, not her own. Suffering is always about obsessing over
yourself. Loss, less, never. Loss is an illusion. Suffering is not found in an act or reality, but
rather your perception of reality. solution to suffering ends when you stop obsessing over
yourself and find appreciation.
Goal - Be the happiest motherfucker you ever met
To never suffer no more.
Those meanings you get.. Snap the fuck outta it!
Pain VS Pleasure….Ultimately comes from meaning

You can’t control everything (like what others think of you)

We use language to make things much more dramatic than they already are.
Everything you want and don’t want… ALL feelings.
All the feelings you want, you already ​have ​in you.
Metaphors control emotions.
Watch your ​transformational vocabulary ​(TV) - “demons.” Don’t hold onto the negative
stressful thought and believe it. If you think you’re a piece of shit you’ll find reasons why you
These thoughts aren’t yours. It’s “the mind.”
The way you use your body is your TV channel changer.
Shift identity in a moment.
Feel tension, your in “the mind” running, not your thoughts! You start running a script.

80% of the room had the thought they wanted to die, but they’re still here. How the fuck did that
We can believe certain thoughts and feel like you want to die.
The next day, believe other thoughts and feel okay!
Only thing producing stress in your life is unquestioned thoughts.
Psychologist gives you a label, you get fucked up with the label.
The only reason your in pain one year later is because you keep telling your story it gives you
Instead of I feel anxious say I feel hungry to make this happen!
Confusion means you’re about to learn something!!
If you’re totally confused, and someone throws a life raft you’ll take it you won’t say ew it’s red.
Change the system you make up meanings with!
Our brains distort, delete, and generalize constantly!
You have pain because you aren’t being yourself.
You are angry because you’re hurt.
You go through a crazy 8!
You use one emotion to the extreme till your nervous system can’t take it anymore so you
You often buy the bullshit in your head.
Uninvestigated thoughts… SOURCE OF PAIN
Do you focus on what you have or what’s missing?
Find what’s missing in you and you’ll find what is missing in others.
You think your stuck because of your history? The story in your head is that if they had done
this I would’ve been okay. It’s not them. It’s the patterns you run in your head. You have 100%
responsibility for your experience of life. You focus on what’s missing so much. Focus on what
you can, or can’t control.
You’re 100,000 times more than this pattern but it’s dominate.
All the guys sang to her but she looks away and feels safe, but true safety was when she had
eye contact with the boys! Do you focus on the past, present, or the future?
Drugging yourself stops you from creating change.
The past has nothing to do with now, it’s present patterns.
Do you want to to have a blast, rip anything open, enjoy life, have fun, or feel sorry for yourself
and play victim and get pity from others?

Learned to be hurt inside and stay there to get the little love he could. Resentment
unconsciously takes 1,000 watts of energy so you wake up fuckin DRAINED.

Want freedom, do whatever it takes, see all it takes, yes I really do want this. I’m willing to do
that, make a list so okay this is the price I’ll pay I’m willing! People want this (6-pack) but also
want (fried chicken) that’s why we fail business, fitness, money, relationships

Have a new meaning maker!

Lower energy is like living with a deficit.

What makes us feel alive, is opposite energies.
The whiny feel sorry for yourself will always be there. Spend less time with it. The reason
someone behaves is because they believe certain thoughts. “I’m not enough”
Everyone’s innocent, we just believe thoughts from the mind. “I’m not enough, no one gives half
a fuck.”

We want everyone to believe the same thing.. Never going to happen in one million years.
Everything is filtered from within us… our beliefs.
You’re not in pain because of the facts, but perception of facts. Example - mom passes, you’re
not mad because of that you’re mad because you thought it wasn’t supposed to happen.

Trade expectation for appreciation and your whole life changes.

NO expectation will ever be met by you or god. Illusion is that life is happening to me. Life is
ALWAYs happening for you. Figure out how. What you thought was a problem is life’s gift
calling you to grow.

The biggest problem is that you don’t think you should have problems.
If you don’t grow… new problems still occur.
The only people without problems are in cemetaries.
Problems are a sign of life.
Solve ‘em so you have more to give!

Everyday push up unbelievable weight to sculpt your soul.

See problems as a gift and grow to sculpt your soul

Don’t give up, you’ll get a breakthrough.

All problems are, are an unanswered question. People live in wrong focus thinking there’s no
A problem is a system of meaning that is making your life painful.

#1 thing creating pain in your life: RULES. Rules determine when you get hell or heaven.

It’s not that things get muddles so easily, it’s that you have so many ways for things to be
muddled. Maybe things aren’t stressful you just have so many ways to be stressed. You're not
angry at others your mad at a difference in rules. You want the least amount of rules.

Meaning is everything,

Two men had the same exact story, the story of when they were in war and one of their loved
ones was shot. They had different meanings though.

Man #1: Harden your heart, don’t let anything get through. Man’s humanity is inhumane.

Man #2: Life is so precious. Let every moment be that others know how much I love them.

Walls that protect you imprison you. Walls make you weak. You’re saying you can’t handle it but
you CAN. Sounds go through the deepest part of the optim? brain.

When you’re in pain stop the bullshit and you get the fuck out of pain, deal with all of this later.
You go into total pain… something else gets your attention… you lose pain. You can win
always. You just have to decide to let go of what’s been holding you, to enjoy life, to have an
empowering meaning.

TRAIN yourself to feel good, even when you don’t feel like it.

In the darkest times, victory is near if you persist and pursue. It’s never over till it is. Lots of
people have a long life they don’t live much of.


What would your life be like without your fear? Can you decide that who you love is more
important than your fear? Are there things I think I don’t want that will help me grow in ten
“Don’t give her everything she wants in life because women’s brains never forget”
When your focus and meaning comes from fear, it’s always the wrong decision.
When your focus and meaning comes from love, it’s always the right decision. People have
irrational responses for ideals. It’s insanity when your mind requires life matches your blueprint
or else you’ll be miserable.
Use love to solve problems!
100% Responsibility = 100% Power In Life

Learned Helplessness

#1 Permanent - uh NO fucking problem is permanent only souls are permanent.

#2 Pervasive - This one problem breaks everything… it affects your whole life.
#3 Personal - You think there’s something wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with you, it’s
just a pattern.

There was this woman that wanted a kid so badly because to her that meant unconditional love
for the rest of her life. She wanted certain unconditional love. But kids can’t do that for you.
Have you ever met a 16 year old?
Where are all the areas love is available for you?
Love knows there’s many ways to meet your needs.

Blaming Yourself/beating yourself up doesn’t help. It’s a state of suffering

Fastest choice to feel better -> change your life and your blueprint

ASK IN HARD TIMES: ​What ​else​ could this mean?

When you don’t know what to do.. You know exactly what to do

Beating yourself up… you’re not god?

It’s beautiful to die doing something you love rather than hate.

Blaming others and yourself never helps anything. Find beauty and grace in everything life
offers you even when it’s painful.

Find something you blame yourself for or don’t forgive yourself for.

Sometimes poeple get pissy and fearful and are beating themselves up so they’ll hate on you.
What if your greatest antagonist is the greatest angel you just couldn't see it?

When you beat yourself up there’s no possibility for growth.

Some people worry about what others think because they judge themselves so harshly.
Seperate your behavior from you.
How do you stay so up AFT?
Extraordinary life comes from extraordinary emotions.
Just be a master of meaning!

Change your mind! Permanently by changing the system yourself: blueprint/psychology

“meaning maker”
Body states: Filters & Triggers - the channel
Guiding force: 7 types of belief systems your map/rulebook, your meaning maker
1) Global beliefs
2) Identity
3) Primary Question
4) Values
5) Rules
6) Vehicle/Virtual Villains
7) Situation Specific Beliefs

Fuel of choice: emotions

Some people know they’re loved because your present with them
We have different rules for what it takes to meet a certain need.
Most people meet their needs in a way that’s obtainable, not sustainable.
People violate their own values to meet their needs.
Cheating wife… he wasn’t meeting all her needs so she went to another man. Anytime your
brain thinks, if anytime you behave this way at least 3 needs get met, you get addicted.

Significance overvalued has consequences. Growth has no downside, you’ll never reach
Certainty is not really possible in the world. You only ask for pain. In today’s world they’re
making DNA and doing all this crazy shit that I can’t even.

Your brain filters through your heart, head, and hands.

Heart: Attuned to emotional impact others get. It cares about others emotions!
Head: What’s the system that will make this result last?
Hands: How do we get this done now? More action thinking

Matching: We find how things are the same
Sameness w/ exception: Finding similarity w/ the exception
Mismatcher: Finds differences
Mismatcher w/ exception: Finds what’s difference then the same.

You don’t see what you don’t see. Have all four mindsets for a fuller life!
We are NOT just ONE personality.

People want to change a behavior or how they feel about something.

All driving stories have a desire: lose 50lbs, find true love, make more money, deep down you
wanted significance, love, growth

Behind behavior is certain emotions/feelings

Change your emotion behind the behavior.

You have to find a way to meet the need. FInd something you value more than your
problems/habit, that cost you and you can’t get it with the problem.
Change those things to create lasting change!

“You have to do what’s right for others even if you know they’ll hate you, it’s what makes you a

The quality of my life, is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty I can comfortably live

How do you unspoil a spoiled bitch? Send them to a camp where they have to EARN

What you give to yourself you can give to others more easily.
You have to let others know how to give to you.. What you really want.
Culture reinforces you to be selfish.
New life conditions = new blueprint.
I don’t know 5X is just a hypnosis. You’re just scared to be wrong.

That one super cute blonde couple with the man who had cancer said one thing that I think I’ll
remember forever. ​“The only thing that matters is that you’re together.”

Certainty 1st makes a relationship all about you!

Profound knowledge, any simple strategy once implemented will change your life easier.

Power of stories - all warnings or examples. That’s how we teach others how to live.

Greatness doesn’t come from ease. It comes from breaking through unstoppable shit.

All great stories template:

Enslavement to freedom
To have a great hero… the more evil, intense, intelligent the villain the greater the hero. Look for
a worthy opponent
1) A desire
2) A problem/need
3) Opponent- external, intimate, internal - the fight within yourself If I do this I have to give
up that I should do this.. But I don’t want to.
4) Plan
5) Battle
6) Self- Revelation: Oh shit it’s not my brother, dad, sister, it’s me. Find the truth and act on
7) Equilibrium

We judge desire by consistent actions.

Arnold Schwarzenegger movie and that one old guy with his opus story examples

Victim Intervention

Have you ever been to a really fucked up shitty movie? Would you go back to see it? So why
keep watching and playing the same fucked up story in your head? Stop renting space to
problems or others in your own brain to others or else they will win.

You enjoy making others happy but you don’t enjoy making yourself happy.
There’s nothing wrong with self-pity it just makes your life less worthy except when you give to

With blame...comes PAIN. No matter how horrific a situation is, no matter how thin you slice it
the cheese always has two sides.
Victimhood is the new significance. 100% responsibility = 100% freedom. Nothing less.
Taking vengeance never heals it just brings more pain to everyone. You do all this to yourself
and blame others.
She chose to punish him for something he didn’t do. To be the best version of you, you have to
give up the story!
She stood up to have him rescue her but she’s the only person that can save herself. All Tony
can do is bring her to the edge.

Chemistry Of Transformation
1) Satiation - the problem isn’t as fulfilling anymore. Doesn’t feel so good anymore.
2) Dissatisfaction -action that used to give you pleasure now gives you pain
3) Threshold (Emotional) - When pain from this and desire for something new becomes so
strong change becomes a must!
4) A moment of Insight
5) Opening : Claim Your True Identity

1 element of satisfaction + 2 elements of dissatisfaction = atomic power of emotional threshold

YOU have to develop the muscle. Tony came for us to be the hero. For us to make decisions for
what you’re never going to do again. No matter what.
Get out of suffering by stop obsessing about your fucking self.
Forgive yourself. Stop blaming others, apologize. Stop being selfish. ​They’ll leave if you don’t
You forgive yourself, let go and love all of yourself
If you beat yourself up you don’t have enough energy for beautiful states.

Dedicate your life to lighting others up like a christmas tree!

We learn by making mistakes but the difference is if we do something about the mistakes. As
long as you keep telling yourself the same story you’ll get the same result.
True friends are not the ones that tell you what you want to hear. Those kinds of friends
reinforce your weakness and systematically destroy each other.


Don’t pray for someone else to do the work YOU need to do.
Your a victim because you wanted to control others.
You victimized yourself.
Step up to do something to change or sit down and be miserable for the rest of your life.
Hell is when you’re obsessed with yourself because all that comes from it is suffering.
Words don’t matter, what you do does.
No redemption is a mere apology, an apology is just fucking words.
Truth can set you free but you don’t go for it, you go for significance.
It’s about doing something right for the people that love you. You can’t be a better person
constantly talk about you and your needs.

You still want what you want so you stay in prison suffering.
A hero spends their whole life serving others.
An act of service is the kindest easiest thing. The hard work is those you love. Your husband.
Everything you’ve told me is a lie. You generalized, distorted, and deleted your past.
I can’t invest in someone who won’t help themselves.
People don’t give a fuck about your story they give a fuck about you.
You fuck up and ask god to fix it? You’re the one who’s supposed to do it.
Your selfish you focus all on yourself.
Have you ever taken something and twisted it to meet your needs at the expense of others?
We can use any experience to serve us no matter how horrible it is.
Most people take the path of least resistance. It gives you the least inner pride. Girl is addicted
to significance through problems.
You disagree with everything because you lie to yourself.
Influence yourself in a new way.
When she’s uncomfortable she’ll go to her old behavior and blame Tony because he didn’t wire
her enough.
We all have free will we can all fuck ourselves up or free ourselves.
She’s a beautiful soul but she’s addicted to herself and feeling significant.
Barissa -> New thing that happened in her, she just got so much love and space in herself.
What’s the right way to handle trauma, is to take a choice of the power of the event. Are you
gonna be a victim or survivor, or are you going to move the fuck on?!
You can stay in your story the whole day.
We need to fail.
Sometimes miserable and proactively.
You can’t find innocent in trying to justify your significance.
We get through and step through the whole and we have to.
Don’t live in the mind. Don’t ever let it be in charge. You direct it. No matter what society says
we all deserve redemption. The only way to be free is to take the key and free yourself. We only
stay in pain if you stay there in that identity.
If we’re willing to put ourselves on the line to help others.

The secret to a life of happiness is to love all there is, even the unlovable.

Tony’s here because of all the pain he experienced and he didn’t decide to be a victim. It
wouldn’t serve him or those he loves.

If you choose well, everything in our life becomes a blessing.

Don’t allow yourself to be addicted to yourself.
Stop looking outside your hand for help.

Absolute fucking truth will set you free. What changes your story best is changing your identity.
Change the dominant emotions in your life.
If you beat yourself up you’ll be worthless to others.

Causeless joy - joy coming to you for no reason.

Complaining doesn’t change people. Never hate.

Everything is a present. Hatred eats the soul of the hater not the hated.

The walls that protect you block everything you value from coming in.

The love you didn’t get you find more valuable.

People value what’s scarce. All behavior has positive intent.

Only two workouts matter, when you don’t want to go, What you don’t want to do and you still
do. That’s where growth comes.

Keep energy high so you can keep up! You can accomplish everything on your to do list, but not
get anything done.

Ask “What’s my outcome?”

What’s my purpose?
What’s my massive action plan?
If you do something all the time, you have STRONG reasons.

Everything in your life that’s good can be destroyed by one question. It could be, “What’s wrong
with me?”
Motive matters. If your motive is just to meet your own needs.. Your breakthrough comes when
you make it more about others. If you support humanity you’ll get insights coming you won’t
even understands it.
Intent affects the level of impact you have.
Measure in caring is how you ​walk.
Do you use all of your energy, time and resources?

Levels of Caring

1) Egocentric - you care about yourself Babies are only loving if you meet their needs. If
you don’t… they cry. You can care for yourself but it doesn’t work in real life.
2) Ethnocentric - care about people who can give you pain or please
3) World Centric, care about everyone, including people that can’t give you pain or
4) World Centric- care about all living things

Women get world centric fast, I can’t solve my current problem with the same level of thinking I
had creating the problem.

Will never lasts you want pull motivation.

Your google maps is worthless if you don’t know where you are… be honest!
In spiral dynamics, people don’t jump levels. You have to go through all of them.
Many people are presenting blue to justify red behavior.
If people say I’ve worked hard on it but they’re still their, they haven’t. They’ve just done a
couple things that makes you feel better about going back to their habits.

Back to chemistry of transformation! In step 5 the opening where you claim your true identity,
you have to hump through! But fear of the unknown stops you.
If you’re selfish and stubborn you don’t get through.
This girl takes past painful experiences and projects it into new people in our lives.

We have a culture now where victim = significance/power

These individuals are creating these situations! Powerlessness is the new power.
This is ugly as fuck! Don’t encourage/support it. We make everybody a victim. This destroys
everyone women, men, family, friends. This is such a cheap way to significance.
For women they’d chose to be hit or yelled at rather than ignored.
Significance CANNOT be dominant.
People are addicted to significance because they feel so insignificant.

The problem with picking a safe husband, is that you love him but you can control him.
We tell a story about something else because we don’t want to deal with what’s inside. She
wants freedom and love without the filters. She's too much for her intimate relationships.
When a woman can control a man she loses respect and attraction for him.
She actually thinks she’s too little for him.
When Joy’s husband leaves, she feels in control then sad.
She’s giving birth to her true self. Her story doesn’t serve her. When she believes her story
she’s so tired of feeling threatened, frustrated, and ungrateful.
Her emotional home was red and significance. She connects through pain, not true pleasure.
Stop being a victim, you're so much more than this. Now she’s excited because she feels more
space inside because she let go of all the bullshit!

You might be scared but you have to jump through. What’s there is scary but it’s better than
what you had. Keeping problems is like being a rose and dumping dirt over it.
She desperately needs strength or she’ll take full advantage.
You can’t feel space if you always go for significance and certainty.

Trying to get what you want and show your greatness without thinking for others…. IS NO
We’re the most significant in the world and should get what we want instantly without any effort?
That’s a fucking damn source of pain in one phrase.

Care for people. You don’t until you do something about it. It’s not if you care, it’s will YOU DO
things about that.

Don’t allow your excuses to become reality.

A guy with so much fear becomes even more feminine.
Women hate pleasers. He’ll do anything to make her feel okay, there’s no center of gravity.
Women need reassurance 24/7 when a guy gets uncentered it’s like yo wtf.
His presence will end all the fear.
Is there a demon outside of you coming to get you? A demon is something you create in your
head to push up against rather than face yourself.
Many people made their demon those they love. But it’s really fear. What if I’m not enough? But
you project it out. Just put the fucker in charge that’s not afraid. It’s their or else you wouldn’t be
in this room. You’re scared. But you’re courageous. He’ll get up and be fearless even if he’s
So much easier to run in a moment, so much harder to run in a lifetime.
Feminine grows with acknowledgement/praise.
Masculine grows with challenge.
In old days women gave up beauty.
Guys gave resources. If guys aren’t depended on, wtf are they there for?
Both sides feel insecure and feel the other side is in control.
Most women as they age get hurt and angry and more masculine.
Most young women get hurt and shut down eventually.
Fear on both sides get in the way.
Wake up! Let passion, joy connection lead!
Give up all stories to get there.
No one tortures you, you can’t grow unless you face fear. Beating yourself up doesn’t help with
progress. Any solution won’t be used because you’re in a low state.
It’s easy to move forward when you’re focused on what you want.
Beliefs and values control everything. Values are emotional states we believe are most
important for us to experience or avoid.
We all have different meanings to words.
Most achievers want love and to never be rejected.
You picked up your values and rules from others.
Don’t set up your rules to give you pain, complicated hard rules do that.
Achievers make it hard for us to feel good.
Make your goals hard so they make you grow, make your values easy so you feel alive
and have fuel to achieve your goals!

Take care of yourself so you have something to give to a relationship. Bring value,
understanding, joy, care in a relationship and you’ll never have to worry. People think they’re
takers but they take and end up miserable.
Nothing worse than self imposed torture - replaying shit negative stories.
Hearts only grow when they’re tested so they can refill up.

The girl who wasn’t a hero, was an angel because she let go of her boulder. She let go of her
story. She’s not in her nightmare, she’s in this beautiful thing called life.
Sometimes things we see tied together, we think are tied together permanently, but they aren’t.
Sometimes we believe there’s no other channels, but they’re are.
“When I give whether people get it or not, I NOTICE.”
GIving is the get back.
When you feel safe for enough time fear gets small and joy grows.
When you look outside of yourself you’ll always be disappointed because it was within you all
along. ​Sometimes it’s kindness, love, or laughter that’s all it takes to save someone.
There’s no past it’s just a memory.
Become a lover and radiate that and love others.
The only thing that makes you powerful is love. Nothing else lasts. Love pierces anything that
could get in the way.
Your entire life is MEANINGS.

We don’t see green when it’s green. We see ugliness when there’s beauty. We all have crazy
thoughts it’s just when we’re in a lower state we start to believe them.

Elton John Repitition. Some singers take something old, autotune it we can tell and we forget
them. Elton John sings it like it’s still the first time. Which is why he’s still their! Success is not if
you win by the score on the screen it’s if at the end of the day you gave all of your soul on that

There is no always in life.

Some people take ideals and turn it on a weapon on ourselves.

His job isn’t to be as big as Tony Robbins, it’s to be as big as he can be! Your job isn’t to copy
others it’s to be you.
The quality of the expectations of your peer group is the most important factor in your life. What
they expect of you, challenge you, want you to be honest, demand you to make money.
To create a quality peer group your spirit wants you to do amazing things. Your mind just wants
to survive.
Find a peer group that demands the most out of you.
Social currency is the most important. Have a diverse peer group.
1) Proximity - how close you are to the fire determines how warm you’ll stay. Coaching
moves people forward. The whole game is progress and moving forward.
2) Resources
3) Travel - Quality people you’ll need to hang with are probably far away
4) Create the chosen family
Quality relationships change love.
You have no idea what’s coming next but you gotta be prepared.
Those that don’t move get left behind.
Break down paradigm how you should look, talk, what you should have
1st step is to DECIDE from your soul
When I hear something I move on it if I’m wrong I change it
Transcend time and money beliefs.
Scale in the box story in Fiji.
Poor people focus on result when I get big house, then I’ll be happy.
Wealthy people know it’s about who I become on the journey.
Tony’s asset is his sense of strong belief know what he could achieve. When you sit energy
In goals you need contribution, things and stuff, experiences, treasure chest (legacy, bitcoin,
whatever you can leave behind
Attachment to not needing it and needing it are the same (in terms of material goods)
Don’t be attached to needing it and not needing it
You can be a good person, work hard, and still not get what you deserve
You have a moral responsibility to give away money
Pain VS Pleasure Fear VS Love
Sometimes do things for yourself but you’ll do more for others than you would yourself
Find pain and pleasure for others in not achieving and achieving that goal.
Abundance is accelerated in the realm of forgiveness. Forgiveness has the ability to annihilate
pain. It’s not about how much forgiveness they deserve it’s about how much freedom you get.
Compassion and mercy.
Magic happens in a beautiful state.
Quality of relationships is on YOU and your state. Everything that happens in relationships is on
If you’re not being yourself, it’s hard to love yourself.
Relationships magnify human emotions.
Men’s eyes are designed for spacial so they can spear a deer.
Women have better peripheral vision.

​ Men ​ VS ​Women
Designed for one thing Multitaskers
Men have to solve problems right now! Problems are gifts to be shared and magnified!
Very simple, “party was okay” Give all the details
Men don’t want to talk about it! Metareports: We go ON and ON in stories

What can make you feel more alive than love? Nothing!
When you find something you care about more than yourself… that comes from love.
We focus on desire not what it takes. Girl couldn’t stay in relationship because it cost her
She wanted her father’s love the most he had a lot of freedom. She modeled her father to want
In your love life: GET THE FUCK OUT THERE AND DO SOMETHING. Not analyze your belief
systems DO ALL THIS.
You can still feel really good even if they say no.
She was afraid. But around this subject we lose our common sense if your scared just do it.
Your rewarded for action not for staying in your comfort zone.
Words change if you do.
To get what you want… take MASSIVE ACTION.
Love is the oxygen of the soul.
If you’re not happy in an intimate relationship.. You’re not happy.
Every relationship helps us grow spiritually. No relationship is perfect.
Most people fear in love life.
Satisfied customers leave. Think about it Microsoft VS Apple. Apple has raving fans.
Law of familiarity: anything we get too long, we take it for granted
This will take you over unless you renew what you have <3
Don’t let it fuck up your life
Car metaphor for relationships- We get a brand new car and it’s our baby we love it and cherish
it. One day we go shopping come back and there’s a scratch on it. SCREAM. One day you go
swimming, a dent comes in your car. SCREAM. The scratches and dents just keep happening
until eventually you just see your car as an old car now and don’t care as much about it.
The best in the world remember how to never let things get too familiar.
Relationships give us more joy than business.
If your whole life is giving you’ll be loved by all.
Goal of always lighting others up… you’ll never feel not enough you’ll have an ownership of your

1) CLARITY IS POWER. Clarity and commitment. Get obsessed with your desire. DO NOT
2) Take massive action: Effective execution
3) Grace: The more you acknowledge grace in your life the more you have it.

God puts us in relation with people so we can start something so am I going to go deep or
shallow? Will you take the chance? It’s up to you! Be all that you are when you aren’t fearful.
Relationships are doomed when we aren’t ourselves.
You have to be yourself or else you’re fucked! No relationship will last.
Get OUT of yourself.
Know what your partner wants and GIVE IT TO THEM!
Holdback your love or passion… you only destroy yourself. Don’t ever hold back what you can
Control is not love, withholding, punishing someone.. You’ll never have a lasting relationship.
95% of have a relationship be successful is selection, of who you select to be when your with
Get addicted to finding new ways to give your partner pleasure!
People who value certainty over love often associate love = pain.
Certainty makes you bored and often feeling left out of life.
She’s not in a relationship because she chose significance over love.
When she left him it was because she started to value herself first.
People say don’t ever depend on a man eh no,
Certain love kills all passion.
Conditioning trained us this way.
Women need to feel secure.
Women have been taught to be significance now we have man’s disease. Men connect by
talking of their accomplishments.
Immature feminine manipulates.
Immature masculine are aggressive.

Level 1 of love is all about me. Getting what I want, or I leave. It’s all about yourself. Babies
aren’t loving If they don’t get what they want they vomit and cry!

Level 2: Giving with an expectation of something back. You’ll never feel alive or loved.
Consciously you say I’ll do this for him so he’ll give me this. But unconsciously you’re not aware
because you’ve done this for so long!

Level 3: Love with no strings attached. Because you are love. Because it’s what your on earth
for. Only love you ever feel is love you give. If life is all about you you’ll be limited in what you
can experience in life.

Drop significance and certainty in relationships to make it last.

Relationships never end because of lack of love, but depolarization you both become feminine
or masculine.
When state is gone, meaning changes. You’re fearful because you let the law of familiarity mess
it up.
Be less demanding and more appreciative. When someone expects something it’s no longer a
gift. It takes all the joy out of it. The relationship was strong because they stayed real
Needing the world to validate you and say you ARE somebody is 2 year old shit.
Relationships end because..
1) Loss of Attraction. Depolarization. Only difference between intimate relationship and
friendship is intimacy. Low energy causes this. You get stressed. Moment of stress
determine your relationship. When you hold back love, you only hurt yourself. It’s not
limiting what you can do but doing what will fulfill you.
2) Irritation, frustration, little shit. Emotional stacking and stonewalling. 4 R’s. Resistance
(separates you from the person you’re with), resentment (Don’t deal with the resistance,
it leads to resentment. You gotta deal with this again) , rejection (GOD DO YOU
ALWAYS HAVE TO WEAR THAT FUCKIGN SWEATER?!) , repressions (couple gets
too tired to fight. They just repress it now). TO STOP THIS PATTERN! Say “I’m not
upset with you, I love you, you didn’t do anything wrong, I need to work on myself. It’s
not you I need to get this out of me.” This trigger was here before I met you.
3) Loss of Physical Passion
4) Loss of Commitment
5) Story of incompatibility - couple believes their not compatible and don’t meet each
other’s needs anymore. Meeting needs becomes a choice. No couple is compatible if
they don’t meet each other’s needs.
The way back to reigniting relationships is going back to the beginning, what made you fall in
love with them.
With significance 1st you’ll never stay happy sustainably. You just lied to yourself, and believed
your lies. We learn from each other in a relationship. Change is automatic, do nothing,
relationships, business, and bodies change.
If you make everything from significance and certainty you won’t grow into a good future.
King story with genie!
Significance never ends. Nothing’s ever enough. You’ll only ever be tortured. Being a giver not a
taker is the answer.
What makes you beautiful is when you’re loving.
UPTIME. ← look that shit up
Down time you’re in your head evaluating everything.
People suck at public speaking because they focus on themselves. Focus on what makes you
feel alive and passionate.
1,000 girls look like you. You’re not a dime a dozen in your soul, what you give, in your love, but
you are in looks.
Rejection breeds obsession, we get rejected then want the person more.
With someone you love you can make it through anything.
In pursuit of personality you have the personality then you get comfy and change personalities,
one that’s lacking so you bring out a different him. If you bring out the playful, loving, kind,
happy, you you’ll bring that out in the other!!!
When you love others they love you amazingly. Constantly nurture and improve your
Ask yourself… what is it here I’m really here to create?
Selection comes from
1) Proximity
2) Chemistry
3) Convenience (Well I get kids when ‘em so)
If you want to fall in love do immersion, 4-5 days. Not a couple hours. You’ll learn so much
more.​ “Last thing I want is to hurt any human.” ​Falling out of love is just losing polarity witha
different state, new meanings are created that ruin the relationship.
How to know if it’s the right person or not? (long term)
Does the job reinforce their nature?
Love is not enough you need polarity and sustainability. Most people don’t believe in the
love that a stranger could love them.
Out of Tony’s love he contributes. Tony got significance by giving and loving. Tony says make
you better first.
To test your relationship do a 30-45-60 day trial JACKPOT. Stop thinking about your needs and
completely meet your partner’s needs completely the way they want it done. If you do your ALL
either they want to meet your needs #transformation! Or they’re still a dick. SO BYE. and now
you’re a great lover for someone who can appreciate you better.
Do you share one of the top two needs for the other person?
Most important goals must be aligned… do you want kids or no?
Trust is never broken on one side. Once she got him she became a bitch. Culture mot shaped
by women. When men do wrong things 1,000s talk, When women do something wrong 2 guys
talk. Men suffer in silence, women talk about it. You made their trust broke okay and yours not.
Forgive yourself before others forgive you.
You gave your cheating partner everything except what they needed. If there’s a breaking of
trust it’s you. You’re not meeting their needs.
I’m gonna forgive you is bullshit, no such thing as victims only volunteers. No one has anything
unjust done to them.
If your willing to have anything happen and still love this person you’ll be free. If you give a guy
all his freedom and love he’d feel so free.
Don’t judge your significant other. Don’t blame or bitch at them.
Loving no matter what is, LOVE.
Frame yourself as forgiver is still victim shit.
How will you connect with him if you’re feeling sorry for yourself?
Every relationship is a gift from god. Don’t beat yourself up or else after a while you’ll blame and
it always ends in pain. You don’t need to go to the past and feel it all over again.
Passion never has to do with time it’s all polarity.
Kids you are NOT entitled.
Intimate love always comes first or else children get fucked up.
Don’t tell a bullshit story or you’ll have an excuse for your future.

Fem Needs Masculine Needs

1) Attention (all the fucking time) Women 1) Praise (sincere) Value who he is!!
be playful to let him know you want
attention. Like Sage throw some
almonds at him!

2) To be understood. This means love! We 2) Admiration. Make your man his? Or

need this for trust and respect! your hero!

3) Presence. We need men to be calm 3) Sex. This is love for a man.

and connected.

We feel move free when giving to others without expectation. It enlightens your soul. Unbound
energy comes when your in service to something you love more than yourself.


Feminine Masculine
1) Unseen 1) Criticized (destroyed) Women think their

2) Not understood. She’ll close down. 2) Closed down. Women’s plans to punish

3) Unsafe. Anything she’ll link to be the past 3) Controlled

and be worried.

Most men have feelings, just as much as girls they just don’t communicate it.
Dance example - the girl “working it” the most wasn’t seen as most feminine.

Greatest mistake for fems is criticism and control

Women are obsessed with control so she feels safe and secure so he won’t leave. He won’t hurt
him but it doesn’t work. Makes him more likely to go away. Mind will try to criticize rather than

Our strength is out love and grace. Start every day filling yourself up.
Use your relationship to give love, care, validation.
Open your heart to give that’s your true color.
No masculine can live without love and freedom, it’s so strong inside a man. Women have
affairs because they don’t feel seen or a man’s presence. Men cheat because they feel
controlled and criticized. So they look for someone that praises them.
Guys put on a fake masculine but he’s never been rewarded to be masculine. Men have on a
mask on mask on mask.
Fems decided they need a masculine mast because someone once upon a time said never
depend on a man. Fake feminine makes relationships hard because it’s not real.
When you turn on who you love you experience pain from the past.

Life isn’t about being a square that’s boring! He’s not about fitting in. so he realized he was a
triangle! Squares don’t like how he became a triangle, they felt bad and both judged each other,
he got tired and lonely being so damn shart so he goes to circles and becomes a hippie! But
then he got nothing done. Aristotle says learning is nothing more than remembering.
Let’s be 3D. You can still fit in!
In life we play games to have fun and learn something… things about
1) Yourself others, and strategy
You can only control yourself. Some people get defensive about feedback. Feedback is like
when you have boogers in your nose and people let you know. Must be counterintuitive in
Retrain yourself to always find what’s great first. What’s great about this? Train your soul to
work first not your brain!
Say my hallucination is… because sometimes you don’t know others truly. You don’t want good
habits, habits are unconcious you don’t want that.
You want rituals, things you do everyday with purpose, intent, consciously, deliberately. Have a
ritual to get ready for everyday.
If you practice something ½ assed it’ll always be done ½ assed. You’re the one holding yourself
accountable for your standards.
Coaches provide skills, strategies, resources, to move you forward. It’s your job to be motivation
to push yourself to inspire yourself. It’s your choice to be on or off. Most dangerage place is in
the middle saying eh I’ll go ½ assed.
Have less push I have to do and just be.
You mind responds for demanding and commanding not begging.
Don’t be weak in asking yourself questions. Using gestures is more commanding to your
nervous system. Ask what you NEED not what you want.
Some values the more you focus on the less you get like freedom or respect.
Negative reinforcement never lasts.
Some people freak out if you love them, they don’t know what to do.
So you need to give them warmth.
2 ways to be significant first you can work your ass off or you can have a huge problem that
even Tony can’t help you.
We never forget warnings (it’s time for us to step up as individuals)
You’re not successful if you use your head.
Breakthroughs don’t always make you feel better, sometimes, they’re ugly. You can’t ever feel
better in your head.
Those wired to make themselves feel good over nothing are smart.
You can only grow massively if you fucking decided to.
When your addicted to significance you gotta say if this is what I am getting from this other than
“I don’t need significance. I am significance.”
My mind no longer controls me my heart and soul does.
Change your physiology more.

Some people only don’t breakthrough because they don’t want to… uh @ significance and
But it’s okay guys! 8:07AM everyday!!

Team is only a group of people. It could be your family. Nothing of significance ever happened
by one person alone. Everything of significance can only be done if you understand the
dynamics of TEAM.
You must be a team player.
No company, olympic medal, or bridge was built alone. You need a team to get your book out
You have to learn to build a team.
There’s archetypes in teams.
Naysayer- let me tell you the two reasons why it won’t work
Joker- Tries to make the meeting off track and have fun and laugh
Good to have those that disagree but don’t keep them unmanaged.
Lovebug- at desk has love hearts, smiles, wants everyone to be nice, happy, and get a long
sometimes they lie because they don’t want to hurt anyone.
A lot of people in a team just want to be led. Tell us where to stand and go! You must have a
team. Most people don't have the leadership skills to lead your team.

Styles of Leadership
1) Title - ​Started or brought the company or was born into it. Doesn’t mean you have the
skills to be a leader. Emotional flavor - demand and expecting you to do it
2) Barter/Trader -​ Learn we have to make a deal, a win-win. Based on what they win. If
someone else offers a bigger deal though, worker will take it.
3) Servant ​- You want to meet needs of team and serve values of team. (6 human needs).
Choose people with the same values as you fuck the skills. People come to your team
buying your mission values.
4) Spiritual ​- Leads even in the face of no hape. (People that are falsely in prison for
decades) (helping poorest cities)

1st person you have to lead is yourself.

4 Levels Of Leadership
1) Lead yourself
2) Lead one other person
3) Lead one to lead others
4) Lead groups

No belief hurts us but stressful thoughts we believe hurt us.

Unquestioned beliefs hurt us.
When we have a trauma our brains lock into that moment of trauma and that’s all we remember.
We decide what it means and it affects our whole life.
We come up with the meaning in our head in the moment.

We’re made of love. Think of how much love is in you. <3