June 17, 2011 

Final Script with Cues 

 
 

DIARY OF A WORM, 
A SPIDER & A FLY 
 
 
 
Based on the books 
Diary of a Worm 
Diary of a Spider 
The Diary of a Fly 
by Doreen Cronin 
Illustrated by Harry Bliss 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Book, Music & Lyrics by 
Joan Cushing 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Running time: 70 minutes 
Cast of Six 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Originally commissioned and produced by 
Oregon Children’s Theatre, Portland, OR 
 
 ©February 7, 2010 
 
 
 
 
 
SCENE 
 
 
 
TIME 
Anytime 
 
 
PLACE 
The animal world 
 
Scenes: 
Worm’s Bedrooom 
Spider’s Web 
Fly’s Treehouse 
School 
Outside 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

2 
 
 
 
 
Cast of Characters (Six) 
 
 
 
Worm​– male tenor – lacks self confidence, sensitive, loyal, sincere, funny, wants to matter 
 
Spider​ -​ ​male baritone – cocky, sometimes whiny, a techno wizard, can’t wait to molt 
 
Fly​ – female, alto/mezzo – full of energy, loyal, sensitive, wants to be a superhero 
 
 
Chorus (3): 
 
Bee ​- (alto, mezz)  Teacher/Mrs. Bee 
Voice of Mrs. Fly, Mrs. Spider, Grampa Worm 
 
 
Butterfly ​– (soprano) Friend & Classmate of Worm, Spider & Fly 
Aunt Rita 
 
 
Ant – ​ (baritone)  Friend & Classmate of Worm, Spider & Fly 
Fly’s Flight Instructor 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

3 
 
  
 
 
MUSICAL NUMBERS 
 
 
ACT I 
 
DEAR DIARY Sequence #1/A LOT LIKE YOU/FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL ...……….. Ensemble 
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL/Reprise …………………...……………………………..….. Ensemble 
LEGS .................................................................................................. Spider, & the Spiderettes, Fly 
DEAR DIARY Sequence #2 ….……………………………………………...… Worm, Fly, Spider 
ALL ABOUT ME (Rap) …………………………………………………... Students, except Worm 
FLY GIRL …………...………………………………..……………………………………….. Fly 
DEAR DIARY Sequence #3 …………………...……………………………………………. Worm 
BIG THINGS ………………………………………………………………..………………. Worm 
DEAR DIARY Sequence #4 …………………………………………………… Fly, Spider, Worm 
THE BOOGIE WOOGIE GITTERBUG BALL ……………………………...…...….…. Ensemble 
FLYGIRL/Reprise …………….…...……...............................................................….…. Ensemble 
 
ACT II 
 
DEAR DIARY Sequence #5 ………………………………………………...…. Spider, Fly, Worm 
TIME OUT ……………………………………………….……………………….. Fly & Ensemble 
DEAR DIARY Sequence #6 …………………………………………..………. Fly, Worm, Spider 
BYE BYE, BABY! ……………….…………..…………….……………….…………..….. Spider 
A FRIEND TO EARTH & BIG THINGS ........................................................... Worm, Spider, Fly 
ALL ABOUT ME/Reprise ....................................................................................................... Worm 
DEAR DIARY Sequence #7 …………………………………………………… Spider, Fly, Worm 
A LOT LIKE YOU Reprise ……………………………………………...………………….. Worm 
LAST DAY OF SCHOOL Reprise #2/A LOT LIKE YOU/Reprise ……………………. Ensemble 

4 
 
March 15, 2011
Final script with cues

ACT I
Preshow Cue
 
OPENING  

Music Cue #1 - “A Lot Like You.”

ANT, BUTTERFLY and MRS. McBEE enter.

“A LOT LIKE YOU”

Hip Hop – spoken to a funky beat
ANT, BEE & BUTTERFLY
(Raps)
THERE’S AN ALTERNATE WORLD
THAT’S VERY COOL
BENEATH YOUR FEET
AND IN THE AIR.

WE SLEEP AND WE BREATHE

AND WE GO TO SCHOOL.
WE CROSS THE STREET
AND HANG OUT IN THE SQUARE.

ANT
SOMETIMES IT’S HARD TO SEE US.
MRS. McBEE
AND EQUALLY HARD TO BE US.

ALL THREE
WE HIP AND WE HOP,
AND WE FLIP AND WE FLOP.
BIG WE’RE NOT,
BUT WE’RE A LOT LIKE YOU.

5 
 
 ANT
WE’VE A STORY TO TELL
ABOUT THREE YOUNG FRIENDS.
SPIDER AND FLY AND WORM.
THEY RULE.

BUTTERFLY
THEY WORK AND THEY PLAY
UNTIL DAYLIGHT ENDS.
AND TRY VERY HARD NOT TO SQUIRM
IN SCHOOL.

MRS. McBEE
TOMORROW MORNING THEY’LL WAKE UP,
AND READING AND WRITING THEY’LL TAKE UP.

ANT
THE SUMMER IS DONE.
MRS. McBEE
THEY’VE HAD THEIR FUN.
BUTTERFLY
BIG, THEY’RE NOT.
BUT THEY’RE A LOT LIKE,
Add ANT
THEY’RE A LOT LIKE,
Add MRS. McBEE
THEY’RE A LOT LIKE YOU! 
 
(ANT, BUTTERFLY, and MRS. McBEE exit.) 
 
 
 
 
 
SCENE 1. 
WORM IN HIS BEDROOM
SPIDER IN HIS WEB
FLY IN HER TREEHOUSE
 
A LIGHT COMES UP on WORM in his bedroom.

6 
 
His bed is a Lipton Tea Bag Box, with a leaf for a comforter, and a hook for his red cap. HE is
sitting on an upside down bottle cap, at a mushroom table, holding a giant pencil. His tail
is holding the pencil and writing in his diary.

Music Cue #2 – Diary Sequence #1

Diary Sequence #1
WORM
Dear Diary,
Today was the last day of summer.
We had a family vacation at Compost Island.
It was fun rolling around in the mud.
I found a very cool rock. ​(a baseball)

(A LIGHT COMES UP on SPIDER, who is sitting in his web and holding a laptop, as HE writes
in his techno diary.)

SPIDER
Dear Diary,
I had an excellent summer,
Mostly spinning sticky webs, and jumping on my trampoline.
I have my very own Web Page.
Check it out!
.
(A LIGHT COMES UP on FLY, who is sitting in her tree house on an upside down pushpin, at a
cork table, writing in her diary.)

FLY
Dear Diary,
Guess what I found? A cool meteorite.
Mom says it’s only an acorn.
Worm got to go on vacation.
I wish ​I​ could go someplace cool.

WORM
Tomorrow is the first day of school.
I can’t wait to see Spider and Fly.
Yours truly, Worm.

(WORM lies down in his Lipton Tea Bag bed and goes to sleep.)

SPIDER
School starts tomorrow.

7 
 
Homework!
Yuk!
Not exactly thrilled, Spider.

(SPIDER turns out the light and falls asleep in his web.)

FLY
I’m so nervous.
What if I’m the only one who eats regurgitated food?
Sincerely worried, Fly.

(FLY turns out the light, lies down on her leaf, and goes to sleep.)

NEXT MORNING

Ring! - Worm’s alarm clock goes off.

A LIGHT COMES UP on WORM.

Music Cue #3 - “First Day of School.”

“FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL”

Lively
WORM
(Sings) 
I OPEN MY EYES, 
AND ROLL OUT OF BED, 
GATHER MY THINGS FOR THE DAY. 
PENCIL AND PAPER, 
A PIECE OF BREAD. 
SOON I’LL BE ON MY WAY. 
TOMATO JUICE FOR A SPARK, 
A ROTTEN POTATO FOR FUEL. 
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. 
 
WORM 
(Slicking his hair down in the mirror)   
One good thing about being a worm?   
It’s okay to be filthy dirty! 
 
​ ing! – Spider’s alarm clock goes off.
(R

A LIGHT COMES UP on SPIDER.) 

8 
 
 
SPIDER 
(Sings) 
IT’S SEVEN O’CLOCK, 
TIME TO SKIDOO 
  AND FACE THE CHALLENGE AHEAD. 
I PUT ON A SOCK,  
ATTACHED TO A SHOE. 
ALL EIGHT BESIDE MY BED. 
INSTEAD OF A DAY IN THE PARK, 
I’LL BE SITTING ALL DAY ON A STOOL. 
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.  
 
SPIDER 
I’m glad I’m not an insect. 
Because then I would have only ​six​ legs! 
 
SPIDER 
THE SUMMER IS OVER 
AND SLEEPING LATE.  
SPIDER & WORM 
AND HORSING AROUND WITH MY CHUMS.   
 
WORM 
A ROMP IN THE CLOVER 
WILL HAVE TO WAIT 
SPIDER & WORM 
UNTIL THE WEEKEND COMES. 
  
(Ring! – Fly’s alarm clock goes off.

A LIGHT COMES UP on FLY.

FLY rolls over and pushes the snooze button, then goes back to sleep.

Ring! – Fly’s alarm clock goes off again.

FLY rolls over and pushes the snooze button, then goes back to sleep.
 
Ring! – Fly’s alarm clock goes off a third time.

FLY grumpily turns off the alarm and gets out of bed.)

FLY 
(Sings) 

9 
 
 OH HOW I HATE 
TO GET OUT OF BED. 
AND RUIN MY BEAUTY REST. 
I GRAB SOME TOAST 
WITH BLUEBERRY SPREAD 
AND GRUDGINGLY GET DRESSED. 
A MINUTE AGO IT WAS DARK. 
GETTING UP EARLY IS CRUEL. 
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.  
 
FLY 
One cool thing about being a fly?   
I can eat with my feet.   
 
ALL THREE 
IN ORDER TO MAKE MY MARK, 
FIRST, I NEED TO LOOK  
SPIDER 
COOL. 
(Clipping on his bow tie)
FLY
COOL.
(Putting on her big red bow)
WORM
COOL.
(Putting on his red cap)
WORM, SPIDER, FLY
FIRST DAY OF
(ANT, BUTTERFLY and MRS. McBEE enter.)
ANT, BUTTERFLY, MRS. McBEE
FIRST DAY OF
ALL
SCHOOL.
WE’RE A LOT LIKE YOU!

SCENE 2.
THE CLASSROOM
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

10 
 
 MRS. McBEE
Good morning, class.

STUDENTS
Good Morning, Mrs. McBee.

MRS. McBEE
​ ince this is the first day, I would like each of you to introduce yourself.
Welcome back to school. S
Tell us your name and something interesting about yourself. Anything at all. ​(Spider is waving
his hand like crazy.)

SPIDER
(With confidence)
My name is Spider. I live at 5 Web Avenue, Arachnidville, USA, 05400. I like computer games
and taking pictures with my cell phone. And I can’t wait to molt and grow up.

(Everyone claps.)

BUTTERFLY
(In a Spanish accent)
Buenos dias. Yo soy Butterfly. I live on top of a flower, where I eat the same meal three times a
day: nectar. I speak dos languages, English and Espanol. ​And someday, if I’m lucky, I will
emigrate to Mexico. (mah-hee-co)

(Everyone claps.)

ANT
My name is Ant. I am very strong and very organized. And I have a brown belt in karate. ​(HE
does a bunch of karate moves.) I live on a hill under Spider’s tree, where I am a very important
part of my community, which is made up of many ants.

SPIDER
Hundreds.

FLY
Thousands.

WORM
Millions. Once I tried to say hello to all the ants in my neighborhood and it took me all day!

(Laughter.)

ANT
I can carry things on my head. Wanna see?

11 
 
 (The OTHERS all clap and say, “Yeah,” “ Sure,” “Cool”.

ANT tries to pick up the teacher.)

MRS. McBEE
(Flustered)
Thank you, Ant.

ANT
If you need assistance, come to me. I will help you. ​(HE does a few more karate moves.)

(Everyone claps.)

FLY
My name is Fly. I live in a treehouse, right across from Spider. I love to wear bows in my hair, a
different one every day. ​(SHE models her bow.) ​I have sticky feet. That’s why I can walk upside
down.​ W​ hen I grow up, I’m going to be a Superhero. ​(Beat)​ But only after I finish school.

MRS. BEE
That’s a very tall order, Fly.

FLY
I know. That’s why I’ve already started taking flying lessons.

MRS. BEE
Excellent. Is that everybody? Worm, we haven’t heard anything from you. Would you like to tell
us about yourself?

WORM
(Shyly)
No.

MRS. McBEE
(Gently)
No? Don’t you want to introduce yourself?

WORM
Not really.

MRS. McBEE
Why not?

WORM
Because I can’t think of anything interesting to say.

12 
 
 MRS. McBEE
Well, I find that hard to believe. Everybody has ​something​ that’s interesting.

WORM
Not me.

MRS. McBEE
Well, alright. But you can still introduce yourself.

WORM
My name is Worm. I live in a tunnel under the sidewalk near Fly. Except when it rains. And we
get washed out!

(Laughter.)

MRS. McBEE
Go on.

WORM
I like art. Once I made a macaroni necklace in art class. I brought it home and we ate it for dinner!

(The class roars with laughter.)

MRS.​ M ​ cBEE
Worm, I think you will do just fine in this class.

WORM
Thank you, Mrs. McBee. My mother says I will do well if I don’t eat my homework!

(The class roars with laughter.)

MRS​. M​ cBEE
Alright. That’s enough. Now, class, today is Monday. I want each of you to do a report called ​All
About Me, ​which you will present to the class. The report is due next Monday, in one week. Is
that clear?

CLASS
Yes, Mrs. McBee.

(Music Cue #4 - “First Day of School/Reprise.”) 

 
“FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL/Reprise” 
 
MRS. McBEE  
(Sings)      

13 
 
 THE SUMMER’S OVER, IT’S TRUE.
STUDENTS 
IT’S SAD, BUT TRUE. 
MRS. McBEE 
I’M HERE TO WELCOME YOU TO 
ALL 
FIRST DAY OF  
(Beat)​ SCHOOL.  
 
(School Bell rings. 
 
Music Cue – Transition music (A, B, C, D, or E). “A Lot Like Me” rap. 
 
EVERYONE exits. 
 
A LIGHT COMES UP on FLY.)

Comment #1
(Ding)
FLY
My  first  science  assignment  is to use my five senses to observe something creepy.  I’m choosing a 
5​th​ grader!  
 
ANT & BUTTERFLY 
Ew! Gross! 
 
(Cue - Fade Transition Music)  
 
 
 
 
SCENE 3.
SPIDER’S WEB
AFTER SCHOOL PLAYDATE

WORM is at SPIDER’s house. They are bouncing up and down on his web trampoline, talking as
they jump.
.

WORM
Wow, this is awesome. I wish ​I​ had a trampoline.

SPIDER

14 
 
My dad made it for my birthday. It’s made out of a web. I have a web page, too. I can create one
for you if you want, then you’ll be on the web, too.

WORM
Okay.

SPIDER
Wanna see my web slingshot?

WORM
Sure.

SPIDER
I just hold it up and things fly into it and get stuck.

WORM
Cool.

SPIDER
(Getting off the trampoline)
Hey Worm, wanna learn how to walk upside down?

WORM
Sure.

(SPIDER walks upside down – if this is possible – maybe walks on his hands?)

SPIDER
Now ​you​ try.

(WORM tries.)

WORM
I can’t.

SPIDER
Why not?

WORM
I don’t have legs.

SPIDER
Oh. Hey, I know. Wanna learn how to fly with the wind?

WORM

15 
 
Okay.

SPIDER
All you do is wait for the wind. And be light on your feet. (​ THEY wait.) ​Okay, here it comes.

(Wind sound.

SPIDER takes off with the breeze.

WORM tries but doesn’t go anywhere.)

SPIDER
What’s the matter?

WORM
I don’t ​have​ feet.

SPIDER
Oh. ​(Beat) ​I k​ now. Let’s go running. Ready, set, go. ​(SPIDER takes off running.) Sorry, I
forgot.

WORM
There are other things besides legs.

SPIDER
Like what?

WORM
Like other stuff.

SPIDER
Like what other stuff?

WORM
I don’t know. Just stuff.

SPIDER
Well, according to Daddy Long Legs, you definitely need legs to be cool. I’m sorry, Worm, but it
all comes down to one indisputable fact.

(Music Cue #5 - “Legs.”)

“LEGS”
Showbizzy

16 
 
 SPIDER
(Sings)
LEGS!
NOTHING IS QUITE AS FUN AS
LEGS!
BELIEVE YOU ME.
I CAN
WALK AROUN’ WITH THEM.
AND HANG
UPSIDE DOWN WITH THEM.
LEGS!
WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO RUN
AND JUMP LIKE ME?
ALL YOU NEED IS
LEGS! LEGS! LEGS!

(BUTTERFLY and ANT enter as the SPIDERETTES.)

SPIDER SPIDERETTES
LEGS! ​(Sing)
THOSE GLORIOUS
NOTHING IS QUITE AS FUN AS LEGS!
LEGS!
BELIEVE YOU NOTORIOUS
ME. LEGS!
I CAN
WALK AROUN’ WITH THEM. WALK AROUN’.
AND HANG
UPSIDE DOWN WITH THEM. UPSIDE DOWN.
LEGS!
EUPHORIOUS
WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO RUN LEGS!
AND JUMP LIKE ME?
ALL YOU NEED IS ALL YOU NEED IS
LEGS!
THOSE DANCEABLE,
LEGS!
ENTRANCEABLE
LEGS! LEGS!

(Music underscoring continues.

FLY enters.)

FLY

17 
 
Hey, what’s going on?

SPIDER
Oh nothing. I’m just showing Worm all the cool stuff I can do with my legs.

FLY
I can do cool stuff, too. (​ To WORM) ​Wanna see?

WORM
Sure.

(FLY does some acrobatics that show off her legs.)

WORM
Wow.

SPIDER SPIDERETTES & WORM

WHEE! THERE’S SOMETHING MAGICAL
ABOUT THEM.
FLY SO MAGICAL.
GEE, IT WOULD BE TRAGICAL
WITHOUT THEM.
SO TRAGICAL.
I CAN GET FROM HERE TO THERE.
SPIDER
AND DO IT WITH A CERTAIN FLAIR.
SPIDER & FLY
DON’T WE MAKE A PERFECT PAIR,
SPIDER
STEPPING OUT TOGETHER.
FLY
LIGHTER THAN A FEATHER.

Modulate
Broad (maybe with hats and canes)
SPIDER & FLY SPIDERETTES
LEGS!
THOSE HIGH-STEPPIN’
WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO RUN LEGS!
AND JUMP LIKE ME? WORM & SPIDERETTES
YES.
SPIDER & FLY ​SPIDERETTES
ALL YOU NEED IS ALL YOU NEED IS
LEGS! LEGS!

18 
 
 THOSE TAPPABLE,
LEGS!
UNFLAPPABLE
LEGS! LEGS!
LEGS! LEGS!
LEGS! LEGS!
THOSE FABULOUS LEGS! THOSE FABULOUS LEGS!

FLY
No wonder Spider is so good at soccer. I’m sorry you don’t have legs, Worm.

WORM
Me, too.

SPIDER
(To FLY)
You only have ​six​ legs.

FLY
So? I’ve got wings.

SPIDER
Spiders don’t need wings. We can fly on the wind.

FLY
(To WORM)
I​ know. Maybe if you look in a mirror, you’ll see something that ​you​ have that ​we​ don’t have.

WORM
I have an older sister who is always looking in the mirror. But guess what?

SPIDER & FLY

What?

WORM
No matter how many times she spends looking at herself, her face will always look just like her
rear end!

(SPIDER falls out of his web laughing. FLY falls on the ground laughing.)

WORM
Who needs legs?

(WORM exits.

19 
 
 Music Cue #6 - “Legs/Reprise.”)

“LEGS/Reprise”

SPIDER & FLY SPIDERETTES

ALL YOU NEED IS (Sing)
LEGS!
THOSE CLIMBABLE
LEGS!
SUBLIMEABLE.
LEGS! LEGS!
(Musical riff) (Musical riff)
LEGS! LEGS!
(Musical riff) (Musical riff)
LEGS! LEGS!
(Musical riff) (Musical riff)
THOSE FABULOUS THOSE FABULOUS
LEGS! LEGS!

(Music Cue #7 – “Legs” playoff)

SCENE 4.
WORM IN HIS BEDROOM
SPIDER IN HIS WEB
FLY IN HER TREEHOUSE
SAME EVENING

Music Cue #8 - Diary Sequence #2

Diary Sequence #2
WORM
Dear Diary,
I had a play date with Spider.
I can’t walk upside down because I don’t have legs.
Fly came over, too.
I can’t fly, either. I don’t have wings.

FLY
Dear Diary,
I love school.

20 
 
Today I learned that flies beat their wings 200 times per second.
No wonder I fall asleep in Math!

SPIDER
Dear Diary,
Poor Worm.
He can’t walk upside down, like me.
But he sure can make me laugh.
He has a sister whose face looks like her rear end!

(SPIDER starts laughing again.)

WORM
Maybe someday I’ll grow legs.
And wings.
Then I would be a walking, flying worm!

FLY
I invited Worm to Flying School.
Just in case.
Fly.

SPIDER
Today I found a neat statue.
My mom says it’s called a toilet.

(School bell rings.)

SCENE 5.
SCHOOL
THE CLASSROOM

There is a banner across the classroom that reads: NATIONAL SAFETY DAY.
MRS, McBEE writes: Things That are Dangerous - on the blackboard.

MRS, McBEE
Good morning, children.

KIDS
Good morning, Mrs. McBee.

21 
 
 MRS. McBEE
Today is National Safety Day. And that’s why we’ll be practicing our safety drill: Stop! Drop!
And Run! Who can tell me the first thing we do when we sense danger?

SPIDER
Panic!

FLY
Freeze!

WORM
Get sick!

ANT
Throw up! (​ He makes a barfing sound.)

BUTTERFLY
Scream! Ahh!

KIDS
Ahh! ​(screaming)

MRS. McBEE
That’s right. Now, let’s start by making a list of all the things we are afraid of. Someone give me
an example.

SPIDER
Vacuums. Because they suck up spiders and and their webs.

MRS. McBEE
(Writing on the board)
Vacuums. Very good, Spider. Anyone else?

FLY
Flypaper. My parents left us with a babysitter last night. When they got home, 87 of us were
stuck to a strip of flypaper!

MRS. McBEE
(Writing on the board)
Flypaper.

BUTTERFLY

22 
 
Chicos. Boys. ​(Mrs. McBee gives her a puzzled look.) When they are trying to catch us and put us
in jars. Until we are all dried out. And then they put us under glass, and say how bonito we are,
even though we are muerto. Dead!

(BUTTERFLY feigns dropping dead. She drags it out. Giggles.)

MRS. McBEE
Alright, that’s enough. Butterfly, you may get up now. ​(She writes)​ Boys with jars.

ANT
Big feet.

SPIDER
When they are coming down on our heads.

WORM
Especially when they’re playing hopscotch! ​(Giggles)

MRS. McBEE
Big shoes​. (writing on the board)

WORM
Fishing season.

MRS. McBEE
Seriously, Worm.

FLY
Because worms are used for bait.

WORM
That’s me. Bait. ​(Giggles)

MRS. McBEE
Bait. ​(writing on the board)

WORM
What about you, Mrs. McBee? What are ​you​ afraid of?

MRS. McBEE
What am ​I​ afraid of? Me? Well, I don’t know. Let’s see…

(As the KIDS close in on their teacher, MRS. McBEE reacts, getting more and more agitated.)

WORM

23 
 
Rolled up newspapers?
Wack! (as WORM rolls up an imaginary newspaper and wacks it)

(MRS. McBEE jumps.)

ANT
Bug spray?
Spray!​ ​(as ANT sprays imaginary bug spray)

FLY
Snapping towels?
Snap!​ ​(as FLY snaps an imaginary towel)

BUTTERFLY
Garden hoses?
Woosh!​ ​(as BUTTERFLY turns on an imaginary hose and points it at her teacher.)

SPIDER
Spider webs?
Sound effect​ ​(as SPIDER spins an imaginary web)

MRS. McBEE
AHHHHH! (​ screaming, starts running around the room)

KIDS
AHHHHH! ​(as the KIDS run after her, screaming)

(MRS. McBEE runs out of the classroom. The KIDS follow, except for SPIDER.)

Comment #2
(Ding)
SPIDER
Today I heard a scary sound. 
(Cue vacuum) 
I stopped what I was doing, 
Forgot where I was going, 
And ran screaming from the room! 
Ahhhhh! 
 
(HE runs offstage with the vacuum chasing him. Cue vacuum sound.) 
 

24 
 
 SCENE 6.
OUTSIDE
AFTER SCHOOL

FLY enters, buzzing/flying.

WORM watches.

WORM
Wow! You looked great.

FLY
I did?

WORM
Cross my heart and hope to die.

FLY
You have a heart?

WORM
I have five hearts.

FLY
(Incredulous)
Five hearts?!

WORM
Well, not exactly. I have five aortic arches that pump blood. Some people call them hearts. But if
I ​had​ a heart, I would definitely cross it. All five.

FLY
Thanks, Worm.

WORM
Don’t mention it. I wish ​I​ could fly, instead of always being stuck here on the ground.

FLY
You could fly. You just have to practice.

WORM
I did, but all I do is fall on my butt.

25 
 
 FLY
Did you try buzzing?

WORM
No.

FLY
That’s why. You didn’t buzz. Next time try it while buzzing.

(FLY takes off, faces straight ahead, and flies away.

WORM climbs the fence and tries taking off while buzzing. He falls on his butt.

School bell rings.) 

 

SCENE 7.
SCHOOL
THE CLASSROOM

MRS. McBEE
Good morning, class.

CLASS
Good morning, Mrs. McBee.

MRS. McBEE
Today is Monday, the day your ​All About Me reports are due. Who would like to start? ​(SPIDER
raises his hand.)​ Alright, Spider.

(SPIDER comes to the front of the class.

Music Cue #9 - “All About Me.”)

“ALL ABOUT ME” 

Rap 
SPIDER 
(Raps) 
MY NAME IS SPIDER 
I’M AN ANTHROPOD. 
I LISTEN TO TUNES 

26 
 
 ON MY IPOD. 
 
I’M A TECHNO WIZARD 
AND I’M ON THE WEB. 
WITH MY VERY OWN PAGE, 
A REAL CELEB. 
 
I’VE AN EXOSKELETON 
AND EIGHT LONG LEGS. 
I’M NOT A GIRL, 
SO I CAN’T LAY EGGS. 
 
I’VE GOT FOUR PAIRS OF EYES TO SEE. 
THAT’S ALL ABOUT ME. 
 
ANT 
MY NAME IS ANT 
I’M RELATED TO BEE. 
I’M FROM THE INSECT 
FAMILY. 
 
I’VE GOT SIX LEGS 
AND COMPOUND EYES, 
AND JAWS LIKE SCISSORS 
TO CRUSH MY PRIZE. 
(Karate moves) 
 
I WORK REAL HARD. 
I’M VERY WELL FED. 
AND I CAN CARRY FOOD 
UPON MY HEAD. 
(HE demonstrates.) 
 
I LIVE IN A COL-O-NY. 
THAT’S ALL ABOUT ME. 
 
BUTTERFLY 
I DIDN’T START OUT AS A BUTTERFLY. 
I WAS A CATERPILLAR FIRST. 
THIS IS ME ​(holding up a picture) 
EMERGING ON A LEAF. 
CHA CHA CHA. 
 
MY WINGS UNFOLD, THEN I CAN FLY. 

27 
 
 ALTHOUGH IT’S NOT REHEARSED. 
THIS IS ME ​(holding up another picture) 
DRINKING NECTAR LIKE A THIEF. 
CHA CHA CHA. 
 
FLY 
I’M A GIRL 
WHOSE NAME IS FLY. 
I’VE GOT FOUR THOUSAND LENSES  
IN EACH EYE. 
 
I CAN WALK ON WALLS 
OR A STEEP INCLINE. 
AND I’M LEARNING TO FLY   
IN A (beat) STRAIGHT LINE. 
 
I CAN’T CHEW FOOD 
SO I SUCK IT DOWN, 
BUT I CAN MAKE A LANDING 
UPSIDE DOWN. 
 
I’VE GOT LOTS OF ENERGY. 
THAT’S ALL ABOUT ME. 
 
SPIDER 
I CAN ​SPIN​ A WEB WITH SILKY THREAD. 
FLY 
I CAN ​BEAT ​MY WINGS SUPER​ ​FAST. 
ANT 
I CAN ​CARRY​ OBJECTS ON MY HEAD 
BUTTERFLY 
YO SOY BEAUTIFUL AT LAST. 
ALL FIVE 
PART OF ​LIFE’S​ GREAT MYSTERY. 
THAT’S ALL ABOUT ME! 
HUH! 
 
MRS. McBEE
(Clapping her hands)
That was excellent, class. Excellent. Now we know lots of things about each other we didn’t
know before. What about you, Worm? Are you ready to give us your presentation?

WORM
No, not really.

28 
 
 MRS. McBEE
What do you mean, not really?

WORM
I ate it. ​(Giggles)

MRS. McBEE
You ate your report?

WORM
I forgot my lunch. And I was so hungry I ate my homework. (​ More giggles.) And now I don’t
remember what it said.

MRS. McBEE
Worm!

WORM
Yes, Mrs. McBee.

MRS. McBEE
I’m afraid you’ll have to stay after school today and write 100 times: “I will not eat my
homework.” Is that understood?

WORM
Yes, Mrs. McBee.

(School bell rings.

EVERYONE exits, leaving WORM alone.)

WORM
(As he writes)
1. I will not eat my homework.
2. I will not eat my homework.

(WORM disapears underground saying “I will not eat my homework…..

BUTTERFLY and FLY enter, each carrying a large picture.)

Comment #​3
(Ding)
BUTTERFLY
This is my little brother, Larva.

29 
 
 FLY
This is my little sister, Maggot.

(WORM pops up.)

Comment #4
(Ding)
WORM
I have to stay after school again tomorrow.
I was so hungry I ate my punishment paper!

 
 
SCENE 9.
WORM’S BEDROOM
PLAYDATE WITH FLY & SPIDER

FLY and SPIDER are hanging out in Worm’s bedroom. 

 
 
FLY 
This is so cool down here with nobody to bother you. I wish I had ​my​ own room. 
 
WORM 
Well, look at it this way, you’re not alone. 
 
FLY 
That’s  the  problem.  I’m  ​never  alone.  How  am  I  ever  going  to  be  a  superhero  if  I  don’t  have  any 
privacy? 
 
SPIDER 
You’ll​ never be a superhero. 
 
FLY 
Why not?  
 
SPIDER 
Because duh! superheroes save the world from outer-space villains. 
 
FLY 
So? 

30 
 
 
SPIDER 
You’re  not  big  enough.  And  your  brain  is  the  size  of  a  sesame  seed.  ​(FLY  is  furious.)  ​And, 
you’re a girl. 
 
WORM 
Maybe she could be the first one. 
 
FLY 
Thank you, Worm. ​(To Spider)​ ​And, ​guess what?​ ​ I have the most powerful flight muscles on the 
planet. So there. 
 
SPIDER 
Yeah,  well,  be  sure  to  give  me  your  number  in  case  I  get  sucked  up  by  a  vacuum.  So  you  can 
rescue me. 
 
FLY 
You’ll see. 
 
SPIDER 
Hey Worm, how did you get so far under the ground? 
 
WORM 
By digging. Hey, you wanna dig a tunnel? 
 
FLY 
I’ve got an idea. What if we dig a really ​big ​tunnel and turn it into a secret club? 
 
SPIDER 
I don’t like digging. I’ll get all dirty.  
 
FLY 
(Mimicking Spider) 
I  don’t  like  digging.  I’ll  get  all  dirty.  Fine.  You  can sit and watch us dig, and when we’re done, 
maybe we’ll invite you in. 
 
SPIDER 
Alright, I’ll do it. 
 
WORM 
We could call ourselves The Dirt Bags. 
 
FLY 
Cool! And you have to roll in a pile of dirt before you go in. 
 

31 
 
 SPIDER 
Yuk! 
 
FLY & WORM 
Perfect. ​(High fives WORM.) 
 
WORM 
Okay.  Just  do  what  I  do.  First burrow in with your head, and then push the dirt to the side.  Like 
this. 
 
(WORM starts digging a tunnel and the dirt flies up and hits SPIDER in the face.) 
 
SPIDER 
Hey! ​(Coughing)​ That’s not fair. My mouth is filled with dirt. (​Spitting and coughing.) ​ Ew! 
 
WORM 
Sorry. That’s because you’re behind me. How about if Fly works on my left and you work on 
my right? Then nobody gets a mouthful of dirt. 
 
SPIDER 
Alright. But it’s not as much fun as jumping on my trampoline. 
 
(THEY start digging. After a while…) 
 
SPIDER 
Help. My feet are stuck. 
 
FLY 
Did you say help? 
 
SPIDER 
Yes.   
 
FLY 
That’s what I thought. Sorry, I can’t help you. I’m a girl, remember? And I’m not big enough. 
 
WORM 
I’ll​ help you. 
 
SPIDER 
My ankles are all twisted. I think they’re broken. 
 
WORM 
All of them? 
 

32 
 
 SPIDER 
No, just two or three. 
 
FLY 
They’re not broken. They’re just twisted. 
 
SPIDER 
I wanna go home.   
 
FLY 
So, go. 
 
SPIDER 
Someome has to help me. 
 
WORM 
I’ll help you. 
 
FLY 
No,  you  stay  here  and  dig.  I’ll  walk  Spider  home.  But  I  sure  had fun.  And I definitely want my 
own room. 
 
WORM 
Hey, I know. When I’m all through, you guys can come over. And the club will be all ready. 
 
FLY 
Thanks, Worm. You’re the best. 
 
(Music Cue – Transition (A, B, C, D or E) – “A Lot Like Me” rap. 
 
FLY helps SPIDER, who is limping and whining, exit, as WORM continues to dig a tunnel for 
their secret club. 
 
ANT enters. 
 
Comment #5
(Ding)
ANT
Ants live on all seven continents. North America, South America, Africa, Asia, Europe,
Australia, and…I forget.

(ANT starts to exit, as BUTTERFLY enters from the same direction.)

BUTTERFLY

33 
 
Antarctica!

ANT
What?

BUTTERFLY
Antarctica. The seventh continent. Too cold for me.

ANT
Whatever!

(HE exits.)

Comment #6
(Ding)
BUTTERFLY
First I was an egg. Then I was a caterpillar. Then a chrysalis. And now I am a beautiful butterfly.
La mariposa.

(BUTTERFLY flutters off.

School bell rings.)

 
 
 
SCENE 10.
SCHOOL
THE CLASSROOM
 
SPIDER stands up at his desk and reads a report. 
 
 
SPIDER 
“When  I  Grow  Up”  by  Spider.  When  I  grow  up,  I  would  like  to  molt.  That’s  because  when 
spiders grow, their skin doesn’t stretch. So it has to fall off. ​(Giggles) (SPIDER stops.) 
 
MRS. McBEE 
(Scolding) 
Class! ​(To SPIDER)​ You may continue. 
 
SPIDER 
My  skin  is  called  an  exoskeleton.  When  I  bust  out  of  it,  it  falls  off,  and  I can grow.  And then a 
new  exoskeleton  forms around me.  That’s called molting.  That’s why I try not to get too attached 

34 
 
to  myself.  ​(Giggles)  Everytime  I  grow,  I have to molt, until I become a grownup.  Which is what 
I want to be. 
 
(Everyone claps.) 
 
MRS. McBEE 
That was excellent. ​Does anyone have any questions for Spider?

ANT
Can we get to see you molt?

SPIDER
No way. I have to be alone when I molt. Because when I lose my skin, I don’t have any
protection and someone could eat me.

ANT
I won’t eat you.

WORM
Me either.

SPIDER
I know my friends won’t eat me. But there’s something called the Food Chain, and if I’m not
careful, something could happen. Anyway, molting is a very private thing.

WORM
Like writing in our diaries?

SPIDER
Exactly.

FLY
How will you know when it’s time to molt?

SPIDER
When my mom tells me I am too big for my own skin.

FLY
Sometimes my mom says I am too big for my britches. But my skin doesn’t fall off. I just get a
time-out.

MRS. McBEE
Alright, well, moving on. Butterfly, you’re next.

(Folkloric Hit D – Flamenco music. BUTTERFLY dances to the front of the class.)

35 
 
 BUTTERFLY
When I grow up, I want to fly to Mexico (May-hee-co), where it is muy caliente, and find a mate.

(BUTTERFLY does a dance, going a little overboard with the mating theme.)

MRS. McBEE
Thank you, Butterfly, that was lovely.

BUTTERFLY
And maybe I will be a florista, ​(Folkloric Hit A) a​ nd arrange my favorite flowers. La rosa.
(Folkloric Hit B) La violeta. (​Folkloric Hit C) El geranio. ​(Folkloric Hit B) El diente de leon
(Folkloric Hit A)​ Dandelion. There are so many beautiful flowers ….. ​(Folkloric Hit E)

MRS. McBEE
Thank you, Butterfly. That was lovely. Muchas gracias.

BUTTERFLY
And I will have many children, la nina y el nino…

MRS. McBEE
(Losing it)
​ ou can go back to
Senora Butterfly! Por favor, sientese! Ahora! ​(Music out.) ​(Then, calmly) Y
your seat now.

BUTTERFLY
Oh.

(BUTTERFLY dances back to her seat.)

MRS. McBEE
Ant, I believe you are next.

ANT
When I grow up, I want to be a worker ant and help find food for my colony. If I find something
that tastes really good, like sugar or chocolates, I will leave my scent on it, so other worker ants
can find the food and bring it home.

(FLY excitedly raises her hand.)

FLY
Me, me, me!

MRS. McBEE
Alright, Fly.

36 
 
 FLY
“When I Grow Up” by Fly. When I grow up, I would like to be a superhero, like Superman or
Mighty Mouse or Spiderman. ​(Giggles)

WORM
What about Wonder Woman? (​ More giggles)

FLY
Thank you, Worm. Wonder Woman, too. ​(Looking at SPIDER). Only I plan to be the first ​fly
superhero. And why not? I can walk on walls and see in all directions at once. And change
directions faster than you can blink an eye. ​ (The kids all start blinking.)​ And I can already fly.

MRS. McBEE
A superhero? That’s a pretty tall order, Fly.

FLY
I may be little, Mrs. McBee. But I can dream big.

(Music Cue #10 - “Fly Girl” or

Music Cue #11 – “Fly Girl w Chorus”)

FLY
My name will be Fly Girl and I will protect the planet.

“FLY GIRL”
Superhero theme song
FLY
(Sings)
FLY GIRL! FLY GIRL!
ON THE WAY.
I’LL BE THERE TO
SAVE THE DAY.
FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET,
CHURNING UP A MIGHTY HUM.
TO THE RESCUE, BACKUP
HERE I COME. (Pre-recorded voices
Cue #8/Add. Mat. CD)
HERE SHE COMES.
TO THE RESCUE.

FLY GIRL FLIES WITH

ALL HER MIGHT!

37 
 
 WITH ALL HER
AS SHE TRIES TO MIGHT.
SET THINGS RIGHT.
TO SET THINGS
THOUGH FEAR MAY LIE INSIDE MY GULLET, RIGHT.
GULLET.
I’LL CRUSH THE FOE BENEATH MY THUMB.
MIGHTY THUMB.
AND TO THE RESCUE
HERE I COME.
HERE SHE COMES.

WHEN A VICTIM’S IN DISTRESS,

IN DISTRESS.
SEE ME SPRINGING INTO ACTION.
ACTION.
SOON AS I HEAR THAT S.O.S.,
S.O.S.
I’LL HAVE ATMOSPHERIC TRACTION.
TRACTION.
A COMET HURTLING THROUGH THE AIR,
I’LL BE THERE.
THROUGH THE AIR.
SHE’LL BE THERE.

FLY
FLY GIRL! IN THE FLY GIRL
THICK OF CRIME. THICK OF CRIME.
ARRIVING IN THE ARRIVE, GIRL.
NICK OF TIME. NICK OF TIME.
WITH EYES THAT SEE IN ALL DIRECTIONS, TIME.
DIRECTIONS.
WINGS BEATING LIKE A DRUM.

LIKE A DRUM.
TO THE RESCUE TO THE RESCUE.
SKYWRITING IN THE SKY. SKY,
IN THE SKY.
YOU’LL BE SIGHTING ME GO BY.
YOU GO BY.
HERE
STEADY AND BRAVE,
I
READY TO SAVE.

38 
 
 COME.
FLY GIRL!

MRS. McBEE
Alright, everyone, calm down. That was very exciting, Fly. But remember, there are more ways
than one to be a superhero.

FLY
There are?

MRS. McBEE
You’ll see. Worm, we haven’t heard from you yet. Or did you get hungry and eat your
homework again?

WORM
I did get hungry, but I ate a comic book instead.

(WORM stands up and reads. He is wearing an earplug with a wire, and sunglasses.)

WORM
“When I Grow Up” by Me. When I grow up, I want to be a Secret Service Agent and protect the
President of the United States. I will wear earphones so the C.I.A. can talk in my ear. And I will
wear sunglasses so no one can see my eyes looking around for any unusual behavior.

SPIDER
You better be careful because the President might step on you. ​(Snickers.)

MRS. McBEE
Spider. That’s enough. Worm, you may continue.

WORM
Being a Secret Service Agent is a dangerous job. But someone’s got to do it. The End​.

(Everyone claps.)

MRS. McBEE
That was excellent, Worm. I think you will make a very good Secret Service agent. And I hope
the class will learn to show more respect. Now I am passing out flyers for you to take home to
remind your parents about the school dance on Friday night. Seven PM. At the Pond Pavilion. I
expect everyone to be there. Butterfly, you and Ant can help me decorate.

(School bell rings.

EVERYONE exits, talking excitedly about the dance.)

 

39 
 
 
SCENE 11. 
SPIDER IN HIS WEB
FLY IN HER TREEHOUSE
WORM IN HIS BEDROOM
 
Music Cue #12 - Diary music.

Diary Sequence #3

(A LIGHT COMES UP on WORM, who is working on his All Åbout Me project, and looking very
frustrated.)

WORM
Dear Diary,
I told a fib.
I didn’t eat my homework.
I didn’t even do it, because I can’t think of anything exciting to say.
Sadly, Worm. 
 
(Music Cue #13 - “Big Things.”) 
 
“BIG THINGS” 
Heartfelt 
WORM 
(Sings) 
I DON’T SPARKLE LIKE SPIDER. 
I’M NOT FLASHY LIKE FLY. 
I DON’T SHINE IN THE SUNLIGHT 
OR MAKE A SPLASH IN THE SKY. 
I DON’T HAVE LEGS. 
AND I DON’T HAVE WINGS  
TO FLY. 
STILL,  
I WOULD LIKE  
TO DO BIG THINGS. 
 
I CAN’T WALK ON THE CEILING, 
OR CARRY STUFF ON MY HEAD. 
NO EXOSKELETON PEELING, 

40 
 
 OR ANYTHING I CAN SHED. 
I DON’T METAMORPH 
IN SPRING LIKE A  
BUTTERFLY. 
STILL, 
I WOULD LIKE  
TO DO BIG THINGS. 
 
EVERY SINGLE FRIEND  
  HAS SOMETHING THEY CAN DO. 
WITH A FACE LIKE MY REAR END, 
HOW CAN I BE SPECIAL, TOO? 
  
I DON’T HAVE MY OWN WEB PAGE 
OR A CELL PHONE THAT RINGS. 
THE TRUTH OF IT IS  
I’M NOT VERY BIG. 
I’M ONLY A WORM 
WHO KNOWS HOW TO DIG. 
STILL, 
I WOULD LIKE 
TO DO BIG THINGS.
 
(Music Cue #14 – Diary #4 music.) 
 
Diary Sequence #4 
FLY 
(In her treehouse) 
Dear Diary, 
Tonight is the school dance down at the Pond Pavilion. 
I can’t wait. 
Which bow should I wear? 
Very excited, Fly. 
 
SPIDER 
(In his web) 
Dear Diary, 
Tonight is the school dance. 
Ooowee.   
I am ready to put these legs to work! 
How do I look? 
Spider. 

41 
 
 WORM
Dear Diary,
Oh no! Not the school dance!
What if they do the Hokey Pokey?
And I can’t join in until they say, ​(HE sings)​ “Put your head in, put your head out”?
Extremely anxious, Worm.
 
 
 
 
SCENE 12.
THE POND PAVILION
THE GITTERBUG BALL
EVENING

LIGHTS are strung up around a pavilion for the school dance.

EVERYONE is there. MRS. McBEE is chaperoning.

Music Cue #15 - “The Boogie Woogie Gitterbug Ball.”

SPIDER pulls FLY out on the dance floor and starts gitterbugging.

“THE BOOGIE WOOGIE GITTERBUG BALL”

SPIDER
(Sings)
I’M A FUN-LOVIN’ SPIDER
WHO’S A HIGH WIND RIDER
AND I’VE GOT THE URGE TO SWING.
JUST GIVE ME A GIRL
WHO CAN MOVE AND TWIRL
AND WE’LL HAVE OURSELVES AN ALL OUT FLING.
FLY
IT’S TIME FOR DANCIN’ AND JAZZY PRANCIN’
AROUND AND ‘ROUND THE HALL.
SPIDER & FLY
WE’RE GONNA ROLL UP THE RUG AND GITTERBUG.
AT THE BOOGIE WOOGIE GITTERBUG BALL.
(MRS. McBEE taps along with the beat.

ANT pulls BUTTERFLY onto the dance floor.)

42 
 
 BUTTERFLY
(Sings)
I’M A FLY WITH BUTTER
AND I’M HERE TO FLUTTER
IN BRAND NEW DANCING TIGHTS.
PLAY A BEBOP TUNE
AND YOU CAN SEE ME SWOON
UNDERNEATH THE TWINKLING LIGHTS.
ANT
SAY ROOT TOOT TOOTIE.
I’LL SHAKE MY BOOTY,
BUTTERFLY & ANT
AND SOUND THAT MATING CALL.
(AND DANCE UNTIL WE FALL/for child actors)
(Extra bar as they each sound their mating call)
WE’RE GONNA TEAR UP THE FLOOR ‘TIL A QUARTER TO FOUR .
AT THE BOOGIE WOOGIE GITTERBUG BALL.

CHORUS
ALL (except Worm & Mrs. McBee)
(Sing)
BOOGIE BOOGIE WOOGIE.
BOOGIE BOOGIE WOOGIE.
BOOGIE WOOGIE GITTERBUG BALL.
BOOGIE BOOGIE WOOGIE.
BOOGIE BOOGIE WOOGIE.
WE ARE GONNA GIVE IT OUR ALL.
SPIDER
IT’S TIME FOR DANCIN’
FLY
AND JAZZY PRANCIN’
ALL FOUR
AROUND AND ‘ROUND THAT HALL
ALL FOUR (Spider, Fly, Butterfly, Ant)
WE’RE GONNA TEAR UP THE FLOOR ‘TIL A QUARTER TO FOUR.
AT THE BOOGIE WOOGIE GITTERBUG BALL.

(Music underscoring and dancing continue.)

MRS. McBEE
Worm, why aren’t you dancing?

WORM

43 
 
I don’t have legs.

MRS. McBEE
So?

WORM
You need legs to be cool.

MRS. McBEE
Whoever told you such a thing?

WORM
Spider.

MRS. McBEE
Worm, can you wiggle​? (WORM wiggles.)​ Then you can dance.

(MRS. McBEE pulls WORM onto the dance floor, where they dance up a storm.)

Modulate
MRS. McBEE
(Sings)
I MAY BE A LADY,
BUT I CAN GET SHADY.
JUST LET THE RHYTHM FLOW.
WHEN I HEAR THAT BEAT,
SEE ME MOVE MY FEET
AND SHAKE IT FROM HEAD TO TOE.
WE’LL BUMP AND WIGGLE
AND JUMP AND GIGGLE
AND SHIMMY ‘TIL WE FALL
WE’RE GONNA SWING AND DIP AND LET IT RIP.
MRS. McBEE & WORM
AT THE BOOGIE WOOGIE GITTERBUG BALL.

[8 bar Dance Break for MRS. McBEE & WORM to let it rip.]

CHORUS
ALL
(Sing)
BOOGIE BOOGIE WOOGIE.
BOOGIE BOOGIE WOOGIE.
BOOGIE WOOGIE GITTERBUG BALL.
BOOGIE BOOGIE WOOGIE.

44 
 
 BOOGIE BOOGIE WOOGIE.
WE ARE GONNA ROCK THIS HALL.
WORM
WE’LL BUMP AND WIGGLE
MRS. McBEE
AND JUMP AND GIGGLE
WORM & MRS. McBEE
AND SHIMMY ‘TIL WE FALL
SPIDER & FLY
WE’RE GONNA ROLL UP THE RUG AND GITTERBUG.
2 bars music
ANT & BUTTERFLY
WE’RE GONNA TEAR UP THE FLOOR ‘TIL A QUARTER TO FOUR.
2 bars music
WORM & MRS. McBEE
WE’RE GONNA SWING AND DIP AND LET IT RIP!
ALL
AT THE BOOGIE WOOGIE GITTERBUG……
BALL!
BALL!
BALL!
WE’RE GONNA ROLL UP THE RUG AND GITTERBUG
AT THE BOOGIE WOOGIE GITTERBUG,
GITTERBUG BALL!

(Cue – Aunt Rita voice over.)

AUNT RITA
Help! Help! Get me outta here!

FLY
Oh no, it’s my Aunt Rita, calling for help!
FLY
Aunt Rita, where are you?

(Cue – Aunt Rita voice over.)

AUNT RITA
I’m trapped! Between a window and a screen! Get me outta here! Help!

WORM
Maybe you can save her.

SPIDER
Yeah. Maybe it’s time for you to be a superhero.

45 
 
 FLY
You’re right. Maybe this a test. To see if I have the makings of Fly Girl. Don’t worry, Aunt Rita.
It’s Fly Girl.

(Music Cue #16 - “Fly Girl/Reprise” or

Music Cue #17 – “Fly Girl/Reprise with Chorus.”)

FLY
I’m coming.

“FLY GIRL/Reprise”
FLY BACKUP
(Sings) (Sings)
FLY GIRL.
FLY GIRL.
ON THE WAY.
SHE’S ON HER
I’LL BE WAY.
THERE TO
SAVE THE DAY. TO SAVE THE

FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET. DAY.

BULLET.
WINGS BEATING LIKE A DRUM.
LIKE Å DRUM.
TO THE RESCUE, TO THE RESCUE,
HERE
STEADY AND BRAVE.
I
READY TO SAVE.
COME.
FLYGIRL.

(FLYGIRL flies off, with her friends running behind.

Music Cue #18 – “Boogie Woogie playoff music.)

END OF ACT

46 
 
 ACT II 
SCENE 1. 
WORM IN HIS BEDROOM
SPIDER IN HIS WEB
FLY IN HER TREEHOUSE

Music Cue #19 - Diary #5 music.

Dear Diary Sequence #5

SPIDER
Dear Diary,
When am I going to molt?
I keep waiting, but nothing happens.
Will I ever grow up?
Anxious, Spider.

FLY
Dear Diary,
Tomorrow is Show and Tell.
I am bringing a big surprise.

47 
 
Who knows, maybe I’m a superhero after all.
Proudly, Fly Girl.

WORM
Dear Diary
Last night I had a nightmare.
A giant bird was playing hopscotch on top of me.
My mom says it’s because I eat too much garbage right before bed!
(HE belches.)
Worm.

(School bell rings.)

SCENE 2.
THE CLASSROOM

EVERYONE is sitting in a circle. Each of the KIDS has something to share for Show and Tell.
ANT is wearing his karate outfit, with a brown belt. WORM has a chewed-up dollar bill,
SPIDER has a postcard, BUTTERFLY, a passport, and FLY has something out in the hall.
One by one, they stand up and show what they have brought.

MRS. McBEE
Alright, everybody, it is time for Show and Tell. Who will be the first to share? Worm.

WORM
My Show and Tell is a dollar bill. I found it on the cafeteria floor. I eat a little every day. It is
delicious. ​Crunch! (HE eats a piece of it.) ​And it has the flavor of MINT! Get it? MINT!
(Giggles)

MRS. McBEE
Very good, Worm. And clever.

WORM
It’s good for bad breath, too. Want some?

MRS. McBEE
No, thank you. ​(Checks her breath) ​Spider, you’re next.

SPIDER

48 
 
I have something very special. A postcard from my Grampa. It says:

(Music Cue #20 - “La Vie En Rose” underscoring - accordion/violin.)

(SPIDER takes on the voice of GRAMPA SPIDER.)

GRAMPA SPIDER
Dear Spider, Ooh–la-la! I have landed in Paris! (Paree) French bugs are delicious! Au revoir,
Grampa.”

SPIDER
And here is something taped on the back of the postcard. It says:

GRAMPA SPIDER
“ This is the leg of a French gnat… give it a try!”

(SPIDER pulls off the tape, and takes a bite of the gnat leg. Maybe a crunchy sound effect.)

SPIDER
Mm. C’est delicieu. Here, try some.

(HE passes it around. Everybody takes a bite.)

FLY
Cool!

BUTTERLY
Yum!

WORM
Delicious!

ANT
Tasty!

MRS. McBEE
(Big crunch, as she finishes it off.)​ Oh, yes!

SPIDER
My Grampa is a world traveller. He goes wherever the wind blows him. Sometimes, if he’s
lucky, he catches a breeze to the airport, and naps in First Class.

(Fade out French music.)

WORM

49 
 
Catches a breeze? ​(He makes a farting sound. The others join in.)

MRS. McBEE
Alright, enough.

(Giggles)

MRS. McBEE
Butterfly. And make it snappy.

BUTTERFLY
This is my passport photo. For Mexico. ​(Beat, as Butterfly is suddenly uncomfortable) Mrs.
McBee, may I have permission to go to El Bano, the bathroom?

MRS. McBEE
Yes, you may. But hurry back.

(BUTTERFLY runs out of the room to become Aunt Rita.)

MRS. McBEE
Ant, I believe you are next.

ANT
My Show and Tell is that I am practicing to be a worker ant.

(HE gives a brown belt demonstration. EVERYONE claps.)

MRS. McBEE
Fly, it’s your turn now.

FLY
I have the most special Show and Tell of all.

(FLY exits and returns with her eccentric AUNT RITA, who is wearing a hat.)

FLY
Tada! Aunt Rita! (​ Everyone claps.)​ She was…

AUNT RITA
Trapped!

FLY
For a week.

AUNT RITA

50 
 
I wasn’t getting any younger.

FLY
When I first arrived, she said,

AUNT RITA
My word, how you’ve grown, dear!

FLY
To which I replied, “Why, thank you, Aunt Rita. I ​have​ grown.” And then she said,

AUNT RITA
GET ME OUTTA HERE!

FLY
And so I did. And now, I’m a superhero.

MRS. McBEE
You saved her all by yourself?

FLY
Well, not exactly. I had some help. ​(Beat) ​From my friends. Worm had this idea.

(Cue for old-time radio music as underscoring. Dragnet theme, Inner Sanctum, Johnny Dollar
etc. Or, the kids do the sound effects.)

KIDS
Da da da, da da da da. ​(Dragnet theme)

WORM
Ladies & Gentlemen, the story you are about to hear is true. However, the names have been
changed to protect the innocent.

KIDS
Da da da.

WORM
​My name is Thursday. And my sidekicks are Ant Man and Fly Girl!

KIDS
Da da da da.

WORM
It was Tuesday. The weather was warm. It was 10:14 AM when we arrived on Mulberry Street.
The victim was trapped on the wrong side of a screen.

51 
 
 AUNT RITA
Help! Help! Get me outta here!

WORM
Our job?

FLY, ANT & SPIDER

To save her.

KIDS
Da!

WORM
It went like this.​ I​ snuck into the house with Ant Man and Fly Girl.

WORM, ANT MAN & FLY GIRL

Dum dum dum dum dum, dum dum dum dum.

(sound of a door creaking open). We needed to find something that would make a mess, cause
attention, if you know what I mean. ​Something with a foul smell. Fly Girl opened the
refrigerator.

(FLY GIRL makes the sound of a refrigerator opening, then taking out a milk bottle, setting it
down, and uncapping it. SHE smells it.)

FLY
Sour milk!

KIDS
Tada!

WORM
Just the ticket. Ant Man explored the kitchen…

(ANT MAN makes sound effects exploring the kitchen.)

WORM
and found…

ANT
​ sed, if you get my drift.
Kitty litter! ​(ANT MAN makes sound effects.) U ​(He makes another
sound effect.) ​Tada!

WORM

52 
 
Good work, Ant Man. If we could somehow spill it all over the floor, our problem would be
solved. Why? Because the humans who live here would have to clean it up. And then​…

KIDS
Da!

FLY
They would have to open the window to air out the room!

WORM
Exactly! And that’s where Spiderboy came in.

SPIDER
(Singing from the Spiderboy Theme Song)
Spiderboy! Spiderboy!
(Spoken)
Spiderboy reporting for service. You’ll need someone to distract the human. And I’m just the
one to do it.

FLY
Thank you, Spiderboy. I knew you’d come through.

WORM
There was only one thing wrong with this plan.

KIDS
What?

WORM
Aunt Rita!

KIDS
Aunt Rita?

WORM
The question is: Is she someone we really want to save?

AUNT RITA
Why, you little pink slimy brat…

WORM
Just kidding.

FLY
​ hile Thursday spilled the milk,
And so,​ w

53 
 
 KIDS
Dum dum dum dum dum, dum dum dum dum.

(FLY GIRL makes a sound effect for milk spilling.)

WORM
Ant Man pushed over the kitty litter, ​(ANT MAN makes a sound effect.) Spiderboy spun a creepy
web. ​(SPIDERBOY makes a sound effect.)

WORM
(Screaming like a human)
AHHH! (​ In his Thursday voice) Screamed the human. UP! Went the window. And OUT!
flew…

AUNT RITA
Yours truly. TADA! Thanks, kids, it was nice knowin’ ya. But I gotta blow!

KIDS
Bye, Aunt Rita. Da da da, da da da da. ​(Dragnet theme)

WORM
The story you have just heard is true. Join us next week for another episode of Show

KIDS
Da!

WORM
And Tell!

KIDS
Da!

FLY
The end.

KIDS
(Dragnet theme)​ Da da da, da da da da.

(MRS. McBEE applauds.)

FLY
Now am I a Superhero, Mrs. McBee?

54 
 
 MRS. McBEE
Class?

WORM
Yes, because she organized us.

SPIDER
And she didn’t get flustered or scared.

ANT
And she found kids to do the things she couldn’t.

MRS. McBEE
And you listened to their ideas. Yes, Fly, I believe you are.

(Cue #49 - School bell.

Everyone exits except SPIDER and FLY.)

.
SPIDER
Hey Fly, I’m sorry I laughed when you said you wanted to be a Superhero.

FLY
That’s okay.

SPIDER
Superheroes bend steel with their bare hands.

FLY
I know.

SPIDER
You eat horse manure with your feet.

FLY
Thanks, Spider. I never thought of it that way.

(Music Cue – Transition (A, B, C, D or E) Rap.

SPIDER and FLY exit.

ANT enters.)

Comment #6

55 
 
(Ding)
ANT
Ants can lift twenty times their own weight.

(HE laboriously lifts a huge cookie, then keels over.)

 
SCENE 3.
FLY’S HOUSE

FLY is having an argument with her MOTHER (McBee does the offstage voice).

FLY
But I’m a superhero. And superheroes need their own rooms.

MRS. FLY
I’m sorry, Fly, but the answer is NO.

FLY
Worm has his own room.

MRS. FLY
That’s because Worm doesn’t have 327 brothers and sisters.

FLY
I have an idea.

MRS. FLY
I’ll bet you do.

FLY
How about if we put half of my brothers and sisters in the garage to save space? Then I could
have my own room.

FLY’S BROTHERS
Hey!

FLY’S SISTERS
That’s not fair.

56 
 
 MRS. FLY
I’ve got a better idea.

FLY
You do?

MRS. FLY
I’ll​ give you your own room.

FLY
You will?

MRS. FLY
Out there. It’s called Time Out!

(MOTHER FLY opens the door and pushes FLY into the garage.

MRS. FLY closes the door.

FLY is in the dark. Only her eyes light up.)

Cue for “Time Out” – done “live” without tracks. The KIDS provide their own beat. ANT starts it
out 8 beats, then add SPIDER, 8 beats, then WORM and BUTTERFLY, 8 beats.
FLY speaks her next lines over the beat.)

FLY
It’s no fair. Worm gets to have his own room. And Spider has a whole web to himself. And all I
get is a Time Out. In the garage!
 

“TIME OUT”
Funky beat
FLY
(Raps)
WHEN YOU ARE JUST A KID
AND ARGUE WITH YOUR MOM,
DISCUSSION SHE’LL FORBID
AND TELL YOU TO BE CALM.
I ​SAID​ “I WANT MY​ OWN​ ROOM.
SHARING ISN’T FAIR.”
NEXT THING I’M SITTING HERE
ON THE STAIR.

CHORUS

57 
 
 TIME-OUT!
IS JAIL FOR KIDS.
TIME-OUT!
YOU’RE ON THE SKIDS.
WHEN PARENTS GO
AND FLIP THEIR LIDS,
ACCUSE YOU OF A CRIME,
TIME-OUT!
IS JUST ANOTHER WORD
FOR DOING TIME.

(A LIGHT COMES UP on WORM.)

WORM
I’m sorry I ate your newspaper. I was starving.

MR. WORM ​(McBee does the offstage voice.)

Sorry, I’ve heard that one before. On the stairs!

WORM
(Groaning)
Oh!

(WORM joins FLY in the dark. He has something that glows in the dark, maybe a headband with
diddlyboppers.)

WORM FLY
(Raps) (Raps)
I KNEW THAT IT WAS WRONG,
BUT NO ONE WAS IN SIGHT.
SIGHT.

SO GUESS WHO CAME ALONG,

JUST WHEN I TOOK A BITE.
BITE.
I ​SAID,​ “BUT I WAS HUNGRY,
JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE.”
MY DADDY SAID “APOLOGIZE!”
AND GAVE ME FIVE! ​(minutes)

(ANT enters with a glow stick.)

CHORUS
ALL (Fly, Worm, Ant)

58 
 
 TIME-OUT!
WORM
IS JAIL FOR KIDS.
ALL THREE
TIME-OUT!
WORM
YOU’RE ON THE SKIDS.
ALL THREE
WHEN PARENTS GO
AND FLIP THEIR LIDS,
ACCUSE YOU OF A CRIME,
TIME-OUT!
WORM
IS JUST ANOTHER WORD
WORM, FLY, ANT
FOR DOING TIME.

(A LIGHT COMES UP on SPIDER.)

SPIDER
I didn’t mean to hit him with my slingshot. I was only playing.

MRS. SPIDER ​(McBee does the offstage voice)

Spider, you know the rules.

SPIDER
Mom!

(SPIDER joins WORM and FLY in the dark. Maybe his sling shot glows.

BUTTERFLY enters.)

SPIDER FLY, WORM, ANT, BUTTERFLY

I HIT MY BROTHER, THAT’S NOT COOL.
SMACKED HIM IN THE HEAD
HEAD!
MY MOTHER SAYS I BROKE THE RULE.
I’M LUCKY HE’S NOT DEAD
DEAD!
SHE ​SAID,​ “LOOK WHAT YOU’VE ​DONE,​ SON.
YOUR BROTHER’S SEEING STARS.”
STARS!
THE PUNISHMENT FOR HIT-AND-RUN
IS BEHIND BARS!”

59 
 
 CHORUS
ALL
TIME-OUT!
SPIDER
I’M IN THE HOLE.
ALL
TIME OUT!
SPIDER
WITH NO PAROLE.
FLY, WORM & SPIDER
WHEN PARENTS THINK
THAT IT’S THEIR GOAL
TO NAIL YOU IN YOUR PRIME.
ALL
TIME-OUT!
IS JUST ANOTHER WORD
FOR DOING TIME.

Repeat ​CHORUS
ALL
TIME-OUT!
IS​ ​JAIL FOR KIDS.
TIME-OUT!
YOU’RE ON THE SKIDS.
WHEN PARENTS GO
AND FLIP THEIR LIDS,
AND CHARGE YOU WITH A CRIME.
TIME-OUT!
FLY
LIKE CATTLE IN A HERD.
ALL
TIME-OUT!
WORM
A BATTLE TO BE HEARD.
ALL
TIME OUT!
SPIDER
IS JUST ANOTHER WORD
ALL
FOR DOING TIME!
HUH!

(After applause, ANT continues the beat until everyone exits.

60 
 
 Music Cue – Transition (A, B, C, D or E) - Rap.)

Comment #7 
(Ding)
(A LIGHT COMES UP on FLY who is making a valentine.) 
 
FLY 
Roses are red. 
Moldy cheese is blue. 
I love my mom. ​(She crosses that out.) 
I ​used​ to love my mom. 
Now she’s moldy, too. 
Your 328​th​ child! 
Fly. 

(WORM pops up, holding a photo.)

Comment #8
(Ding)
WORM
This weekend was my parents’ anniversary. This is them: kissing.

EVERYONE (except Worm)

Ew, gross!

(WORM pops back down.)

 
SCENE 5. 
WORM IN HIS BEDROOM
SPIDER IN HIS WEB
FLY IN HER TREEHOUSE

Music Cue #21 - Diary #6 Music

Diary Sequence #6
FLY
Dear Diary,

61 
 
Where is Spider?
He didn’t come to school today.
Or yesterday.
What’s up?
(not writing)​ Just wondering.
Fly.

WORM
Dear Diary,
Spider has been missing for two whole days.
I hope he’s not sick.
We have a sleepover on Friday.
Concerned, Worm

SPIDER
Dear Diary,
I stayed home today.
I didn’t feel well.
My skin is too tight.
And it itches. ​(He starts scratching.)
Worried, Spider.

WORM
P.S. – I’m glad I have my own room.

FLY
P.S. For my book report, I am choosing ​Lord of the Flies.

SPIDER
P.S. For my book report, ​(scratching)​ I will read ​Charlotte’s Web.

WORM
Double P.S. For my book report, I chose ​Click Clack Ew! Worms That Type.

(Music Cue –Transition (A, B, C, D or E) – Rap.)

OUTSIDE
AFTER SCHOOL

FLY enters. She is holding a photo and looking very dejected.

62 
 
 WORM enters.

WORM
Hey, what’s the matter?

FLY
My school picture came out terrible.

WORM
What’s wrong with it?

FLY
(Handing Worm the photo)
Look!

WORM
Oh.

FLY
My mom says next time I better have all my eyes looking in the same direction!

WORM
Yeah, maybe she’s right.

FLY 
I wonder where Spider is. That’s two days in a row he hasn’t been at school.   
 
WORM 
Call him on your cell phone. 
 
FLY 
I did, but he never answers. 
 
WORM 
Try again. 
 
(FLY punches in Spider’s phone number.   
 
Cue for Ring Tone, maybe the Spiderman Theme Song.)  
 
SPIDER 
(He does it “live.”) 

63 
 
Hello, this is Spider.  I am not in right now​.  ​But if you would like to leave a message, please leave 
your  name  and  number  and  I  will  call  you  back.  Oh,  and  wait  for  the  sound  of  the tone.  ​(Sound 
effect) 
 
FLY 
(Leaving a message) 
Hi, this is Fly.   
 
WORM 
And Worm.   
 
BOTH  
Where are you?   
 
WORM 
We’re worried about you. 
 
FLY 
We’re coming over to find you. 
 
(FLY and WORM head for Spider’s web.) 
  
 
 
 
SCENE 5. 
SPIDER IN HIS WEB

Sound cue for door bell.

SPIDER
(Hiding)
Who is it?

WORM
It’s Worm.

FLY
And Fly.

WORM
Why weren’t you at school today?

64 
 
 FLY
Or yesterday?

SPIDER
Because.

WORM
Because why?

SPIDER
Because my mom told me I was getting too big for my own skin.

FLY
Uh-oh.

WORM
You mean you’re molting?

FLY & WORM

Can we see?

SPIDER
NO!

FLY
Why not?

SPIDER
Because it’s private.

FLY
I’ll let you see my diary.

WORM
You can join our Dirt Bag Club without rolling in the dirt.

FLY & WORM

PLEASE!

SPIDER
Alright. But just you and Worm. No one else. Somebody might try to eat me.

(Music Cue #22 - “Bye Bye, Baby!” or

Music Cue #6 - on Additional Material CD – Broader ending.

65 
 
WORM, FLY, BUTTERFLY and ANT become Backup singers. They hold giant fan leaves, a la
Busby Burkeley. Their eyes practically pop out of their heads watching the disgusting molt
of their friend SPIDER.)

“BYE BYE, BABY!” 

Stripper style 
SPIDER 
(Sings) 
BYE BYE, BABY.
I’M TAKING IT OFF!
I’M MOLTING!

BYE BYE, BABY!

MY SKIN’S FLAKING OFF.
IT’S BOLTING.
BACKUP
I’M FREE OF THAT SPIDER (Sings)
I WAS IN THE PAST.
BA DA BOOM BOOM
I’LL BE A WIND RIDER. BOOM.
THIS ARACHNID’S GROWING UP AT LAST. BA DA
BOOM, BA DA
BOOM, BA DA
BOOM BOOM BOOM.
SO LONG, PARTNER.
MY LIFE’S TAKING OFF
WITHOUT YOU.

I’VE UNLOOSED
THE DUDE I USED
TO BE. POW!
BA DA BOOM, BA DA
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM.
TA TA, FRIEND, AND TOODLE-OO.
I’VE GOT BIGGER THINGS TO DO.
NO MORE, BABY.
I’M GROWING UP NOW.

[SPIDER dances to stripper style music.] 

 
 
3 bars music  
SPIDER 
I’M MOLTING!  

66 
 
 
3 bars music 
SPIDER 
IT’S JOLTING. 
 
SPIDER BACKUP 
FAREWELL, EPIDERMIS.
I’M SETTING YOU FREE.
HE’S SETTING YOU FREE.
I’M SORRY, YOUR TERM IS
OVER, BABY,
YOU ARE HISTORY. OOH HISTORY.
Modulate
NO MORE MYSTERY. NO MYSTERY.

Broad
BYE BYE, BROTHER. BYE
I’M SHAKING THIS CASE BYE, CASE.
FOREVER.

THERE’S ANOTHER TAKE

WHO’S TAKING YOUR PLACE. YOUR PLACE.

FAREWELL, EXOSKELETON. OOH SKELETON.

THOUGH UNDERNEATH I’M GELATIN, AH GELATIN.
SOMEDAY MAYBE SOME - DAY
YOU’RE GONNA SAY, “WOW!” WE’RE GONNA SAY
WOWEE!
AND BYE BYE, BABY. BYE BYE, BABY.
I’M GROWING UP NOW. NOW.

Big ending, slow down, pull out the stops

SPIDER
SAYONARA, MY OLD SKIN. SAYONARA, OLD SKIN.
I’VE GOT BIGGER WEBS TO SPIN. YOU’VE GOT TO SPIN.
BYE BYE, BABY. BYE BYE, BABY.
I’M GROWING UP NOW! ​ (a tempo)
BYE BYE.
I’M GROWING UP NOW!
SO LONG.
I’M GROWING UP NOW!
(Spider’s last note starts high and glisses down an octave to show his voice lowering.)

67 
 
 WORM
Wow! You’re really big.

SPIDER
(In his new deep voice)
I told you I was going to molt. I just didn’t know when.

FLY
When are you coming back to school?

SPIDER
When my exoskeleton grows back.

WORM
Can you still spend the night at my house Friday night?

SPIDER
I don’t know. It depends​. (WORM starts to leave.) Hey, Worm, you’re not having leaves and
rotten tomatoes for dinner again, are you?

WORM
I don’t know. I’ll have to ask my mom.

Comment #9
(Ding)
ANT
Ants have very strong legs, so they can run fast. Like this.

(He tries to run offstage in his big leaf outfit, or holding a big leaf, and falls.)

BUTTERFLY
That’s alright. ​I​ can fly.

(BUTTERFLY helps ANT up and they exit.)

Comment #10
(Ding)
FLY
Today I went skywriting. I wrote my best friend’s name in the sky. Worm.

(The word “Worm” appears in the sky.

FLY and WORM remain on stage and overhear Worm’s comments.)

68 
 
 SCENE 6.
OUTSIDE WORM’S TUNNEL  
 
WORM 
If  only  I  could  be  good  at  something.  Spider  can  walk  upside  down.  And  Fly  can  save  people. 
And  Ant  can  carry  things  on  his  head.  And  caterpillars  turn  into  butterflies.  How  come  I’m  not 
good at anything? 
 
FLY 
You’re very important, you know. To the earth. 
 
WORM 
I am?   
 
FLY 
When you dig a tunnel, you help the earth to breathe. And then the flowers can grow.  
 
SPIDER 
If  it  wasn’t  for  worms  burrowing  in  the  ground  and  loosening  up  the  soil,  there  wouldn’t  be  any 
grass. It would be all brown and dried up. 
 
WORM 
Oh no. 
 
FLY 
And  what  about  the  trees?  There  wouldn’t  be  any  way  for  air  or  water  to  reach  their  roots,  if  it 
wasn’t for you. 
 
WORM 
Oh no. Don’t worry, tree. I would never let you die. 
 
(Music Cue #23 - “Big Things/A Friend to Earth.”)   
 
SPIDER 
Remember, Worm, you may be small, and people may forget you… 
 
FLY & SPIDER 
…but the Earth ​never​ forgets. 
 

69 
 
 “​BIG THINGS​/​A FRIEND TO EARTH” 
Heartfelt 
SPIDER &​ ​FLY 
(Sings) 
A FRIEND TO EARTH. 
YOU HELP THINGS GROW. 
THIS IS YOUR WORTH. 
IT’S TIME YOU KNOW. 
SPIDER 
YOU DON’T NEED LEGS 
Add FLY 
OR WINGS  
TO FLY. 
LUCKY FOR US, 
YOU DO BIG THINGS. 
 
(Music underscoring continues. The two songs superimpose.) 
 
WORM 
Wow!  I’ve  been  helping  the  earth  all  this  time  and  I  didn’t  even  know  it.  All  I  could  think  of 
was… 
 
WORM   FLY & SPIDER 
(Sings) (Sing) 
I DON’T SPARKLE LIKE SPIDER. 
A FRIEND TO 
I’M NOT FLASHY LIKE FLY. EARTH. 
YOU HELP THINGS 
I DON’T SHINE IN THE SUNLIGHT GROW. 
THIS IS YOUR 
OR MAKE A SPLASH IN THE SKY. WORTH. 
IT’S TIME YOU 
I DON’T HAVE LEGS. KNOW. 
SPIDER 
YOU DON’T NEED 
AND I DON’T HAVE WINGS  LEGS  
Add FLY 
OR WINGS 
TO FLY. TO FLY. 
LUCKY FOR US, 
YOU DO BIG THINGS. 
ARE YOU SURE? 
 

70 
 
 SPIDER  
WHEN YOU DIG A TUNNEL 
  DOWN UNDERNEATH. 
TUNNEL UNDERNEATH. FLY 
YOU CREATE A FUNNEL 
BOTH 
AND HELP THE EARTH TO 
(Spoken) BREATHE. 
Breathe.  
HELP THE EARTH TO BREATHE. HELP THE EARTH TO BREATHE. 
 
(FLY and SPIDER back away and exit, leaving WORM standing alone, and singing.) 
 
WORM 
(Sings)  
I DON’T HAVE MY OWN WEB PAGE  
OR A CELL PHONE THAT RINGS  
THE TRUTH OF IT IS  
I’M NOT VERY BIG. 
BUT I AM A WORM 
WHO KNOWS HOW TO DIG. 
AND I’M ​ALREADY​ DOING 
GREAT BIG THINGS. 
 
 
 
 
SCENE 7.
WORM IN HIS BEDROOM
SPIDER IN HIS WEB
FLY IN HER TREEHOUSE

Music Cue #24 - Diary #7 music.

Deary Sequence #7
(A LIGHT COMES UP on SPIDER.

His web has the word WORM woven in – maybe it glows.)

SPIDER
Dear Diary,
Today was Show and Tell, so I brought in my old skin.
My teacher called on it to lead the Pledge of Allegiance.

71 
 
 (A LIGHT COMES UP on FLY.)

FLY
Dear Diary,
Worm and Spider came over today.  
We used a magnifying glass to take a really good look at ourselves.   
Man, are we filthy!

(A LIGHT COMES UP on WORM.)

WORM
Dear Diary,
Today was the last day of school.
I had an excellent year.
I found out that I am a friend to earth.
Wow.

SPIDER
Even though I am older,
Fly and Worm are stll my two best friends.

FLY
Worm says the world needs all kinds of heroes.
Spider says I am off to a good start.

WORM
I am good at something else.
It’s called stand-up comedy.

(Nightclub lighting, as WORM holds a microphone and does a stand up comedy routine.)

WORM
An amazing thing is happening all over the world. Worms are taking control. We will rule you.
Our plan is called Global Worming. And our secret weapon is Greenhouse gas!
Confidentially, Worm.

SPIDER
Still growing, Spider.

FLY
Not afraid to dream, Fly Girl.
 
(School bell rings.) 
 
 

72 
 
 
 
SCENE 8. 
THE CLASSROOM 
 
MRS. McBEE 
 
 
 
 
(Music Cue #25 - “All About Me/Reprise.”)

“ALL ABOUT ME/Reprise” 

Rap  
WORM 
(Raps) 
MY NAME IS WORM, 
A HERMAPHRODITE. 
I WIGGLE AND SQUIRM 
AND I LIKE TO WRITE. 
 
I HAVE FIVE ARCHES 
TO PUMP MY BLOOD. 
AND MY MOM DOESN’T CARE 
IF I’M COVERED WITH MUD. 
 
I LOVE CRUSHED EGGSHELLS 
AND LIVERWORT. 
AND GLOSSY COLORED PAPER 
FOR DESSERT. 
AND I SECRETE SLIME, FOR FREE. 
THAT’S ALL ABOUT ME. 
 
MY BODY HAS SEGMENTS KNOWN AS RINGS. 
THEY’RE EASY TO REPLACE. 
THIS IS ME  
WITH A BRAND NEW TAIL. 
(HE holds up a picture.) 
 
IF I DON’T LIKE THE WAY I LOOK, 
I CAN GROW A BRAND NEW FACE. 
THIS IS ME  
POSING ON A WHALE. 

73 
 
 (HE holds up a picture.) 
 
BUT MOST OF ALL, 
I’VE GOT WORTH 
‘CAUSE I’M IMPORTANT  
TO THE EARTH. 
 
DIGGING TUNNELS ENDLESSLY 
AND HELPING SOIL FERTILITY. 
I DON’T HAVE WINGS 
BUT I CAN DO BIG THINGS,  
(Beat) THAT’S ALL ABOUT ME. 
THAT’S ALL ABOUT ME. 
THAT’S ALL ABOUT  
SQUIGGLY, SQUIRMY 
SLIMY, GERMY 
(Beat)​ ME! 
 
(EVERYONE applauds.) 
 
WORM 
Mrs. McBee? 
 
MRS. McBEE 
Yes, Worm. 
 
WORM 
It’s  not  always  easy being a worm.  We’re very small, and sometimes people forgt that we’re even 
here. 
 
MRS. McBEE 
I know. 
 
WORM 
But the earth never forgets we’re here. 
 
MRS. McBEE 
No, she doesn’t. And you finished your report. And you didn’t even eat it. 
 
WORM 
Mrs. McBee? 
 
MRS. McBEE 
Yes, Worm? 
 

74 
 
 WORM 
I told a fib. 
 
McBEE 
A fib? Why, Worm, it’s not like you to tell a fib.   
 
WORM 
I said I ate my ​All About Me​ report. 
 
MRS. McBEE 
And? 
 
WORM 
I never did the report. I couldn’t think of anything exciting to say.   
 
MRS. McBEE 
​ orm? 
Well, you certainly have a lot to say now. ​ W
 
WORM 
Yes, Mrs. McBee. 
 
MRS. McBEE 
Thank you for telling me the truth. ​(Beat)​ Alright, just a few minutes left of the school year. You 
may have free time until the bell rings.  
 
WORM 
(To FLY and SPIDER) 
I finished digging the tunnel for our secret club. It’s called The Dirt Bags. Wanna come over? 
 
FLY 
Sure. 
 
SPIDER 
I don’t know. I might be getting a little too old for that.   
 
WORM 
Spider! 
 
SPIDER 
Secret clubs are kid stuff.  
 
FLY 
So? 
 
SPIDER 

75 
 
So, I’m not a kid anymore. Duh. ​(Beat) H ​ ey, I know. I’ll be the chaperone. 
 
FLY 
No way! 
 
WORM 
Maybe we should invite Butterfly and Ant. They’re not too old for kid stuff. 
 
FLY 
Good idea. Ant? 
 
ANT 
Sure. 
 
WORM 
Butterfly? 
 
BUTTERFLY 
Si. What do we have to do to join?   
 
FLY
You see this pile of dirt? You have to roll in it.

WORM
Until you’re filthy dirty.

ANT
Whoopee! I’m first.

BUTTERFLY
Second

WORM
Third.

FLY
Filthy dirty, here I come!

(One at a time, they roll in the dirt, and come up filthy dirty.)

FLY
Come on, Spider. Don’t be a party pooper.

SPIDER
I can’t. I’m growing up.

76 
 
 FLY
You can still have fun.

SPIDER
I don’t know.

(SPIDER agonizes over what to do. Finally, SPIDER rolls in the dirt.)

SPIDER
Why, you liitle dirt bag!

FLY
So?

SPIDER
So, now I’m just a filthy dirty grownup.

FLY
Hey, Mrs. McBee, check it out!

ALL
Dirt Bags! ​(Photo flash)

(Music Cue #26 – “Last Day of School/Reprise #2/Finale) 

“LAST DAY OF SCHOOL/Reprise #2/Finale” 

 
ALL SIX  
(Sings)    
THE SUMMER IS COMING 
AND SLEEPING LATE.   
AND GENERAL HORSING AROUND.  
 
WORM 
FISHERMEN ARE HUMMING  
IN SEARCH OF BAIT,
BUT I’LL BE UNDERGROUND.  
 
Modulate  
  SPIDER 
MY GRAMPA PROMISED THAT WE WOULD GO 
FOR A WHIRLWIND RIDE.
BUTTERFLY  

77 
 
 AND I AM OFF TO MEXICO (May-hee-co)  
ANT  
AND I CAN PLAY OUTSIDE.  
 
ALL   
(Sing)  
THERE’S PLENTY OF HOURS TO KILL,  
AND SUMMER VACATION UNTIL  
SPIDER 
FIRST DAY OF  
(Clock ticking) 
WORM & SPIDER 
LAST DAY OF  
(Clock ticking) 
ALL  
LAST DAY OF SCHOOL.  
WE’RE A LOT LIKE YOU!  
 
Cue #27 - “A Lot Like You/Reprise.”

“A LOT LIKE YOU”

Hip Hop – spoken to a funky beat
ALL
(Raps)
THERE’S AN ALTERNATE WORLD
THAT’S VERY COOL
BENEATH YOUR FEET
AND IN THE AIR.

WE SLEEP AND WE BREATHE

AND WE GO TO SCHOOL.
WE CROSS THE STREET
AND HANG OUT IN THE SQUARE.

SOMETIMES IT’S HARD TO SEE US.

AND EQUALLY HARD TO BE US.

WE HIP AND WE HOP,

AND WE FLIP AND WE FLOP.
BIG WE’RE NOT,
BUT WE’RE A LOT LIKE,
WE’RE A LOT LIKE,
WEY’RE A LOT LIKE YOU! 

78 
 
 HUH! 
 
 
CURTAIN 
 
 
(Cue #28 – “All About Me/Reprise” - Bows.)   
 
 
 
 

79