Building good relations with people of different faiths and beliefs

In Indonesia today, people of many different faiths and beliefs live side by side. The

opportunity lies before us to work together to build a society rooted in the values we treasure.

But this society can only be built on a sure foundation of mutual respect, openness and trust.

This means finding ways to live our lives of faith with integrity, and allowing others to do so

too.

Our different religious traditions offer us many resources for this and teach us the

importance of good relationships characterised by honesty, compassion and generosity of

spirit. The Inter Faith Network offers the following code of conduct for encouraging and

strengthening these relationships.

As members of the human family, we should show each other respect and courtesy. In our

dealings with people of other faiths and beliefs this means exercising good will and:

 respecting other people's freedom within the law to express their beliefs and

convictions

 learning to understand what others actually believe and value, and letting them

express this in their own terms

 respecting the convictions of others about food, dress and social etiquette and not

behaving in ways which cause needless offence

 recognising that all of us at times fall short of the ideals of our own traditions and

never comparing our own ideals with other people's practices

 working to prevent disagreement from leading to conflict

 always seeking to avoid violence in our relationships

When we talk about matters of faith with one another, we need to do so with sensitivity,

honesty and straightforwardness. This means:

 recognising that listening as well as speaking is necessary for a genuine conversation

 being honest about our beliefs and religious allegiances

 not misrepresenting or disparaging other people's beliefs and practices

  correcting misunderstanding or misrepresentations not only of our own but also of

other faiths whenever we come across them

 being straightforward about our intentions

 accepting that in formal inter-faith meetings, there is a particular responsibility to

ensure that the religious commitment of all those who are present will be respected

All of us want others to understand and respect our views. Some people will also want to

persuade others to join their faith. In a multi faith society where this is permitted, the attempt

should always be characterised by self-restraint and a concern for the other's freedom and

dignity. This means:

 respecting another person's expressed wish to be left alone

 avoiding imposing ourselves and our views on individuals or communities who are in

vulnerable situations in ways which exploit these

 being sensitive and courteous

 avoiding violent action or language, threats, manipulation, improper inducements, or

the misuse of any kind of power

 respecting the right of others to disagree with us

Living and working together is not always easy. Religion harnesses deep emotions which

can sometimes take destructive forms. Where this happens, we must draw on our faith to

bring about reconciliation and understanding.

The truest fruits of religion are healing and positive. We have a great deal to learn from one

another which can enrich us without undermining our own identities. Together, listening and

responding with openness and respect, we can move forward to work in ways that

acknowledge genuine differences but build on shared hopes and values.

 Leader and Team

People are at the center of all leadership efforts. Leaders cannot lead unless they
understand the people they are leading. One way to look at leadership is that the function
of a leader is to lead and guide people who will follow with the same values. An effective
leader thus must be able to build relationships and create communities. We can define
leadership as inspiring people and planning for the future with the motivating factors of
relationship building and community service. Relationships can happen between concepts,
actions, and values. As for communities, one of the great advantages I have found working
in higher education is leveraging the communities that exist for many different disciplines,
interests, and practices. These communities provide, for anyone who wants to participate,
opportunities to network and to become involved with others who share like values.

Values are important ideals that guide our priorities and are core to an organization. Values
tie people together, set vision, and affect what we do as organizations and communities. To
quote the business philosopher Peter F. Drucker: "Every enterprise requires commitment to
common goals and shared values."1 Leaders look to these values as the basis for action.

In his book Leadership and the Culture of Trust, Gilbert W. Fairholm wrote: "In reality,
leadership is an expression of collective, community action. Leadership is something that
happens as a result of leader and stakeholder collaborative action. Leadership is not a
starring role. True leadership describes unified action of leaders and followers
(stakeholders) working together to jointly achieve mutual goals. It is
collaborative."2Collaboration is what happens in any organization or community. How well it
is done—that is, how well the leader shapes the organization or the community to meet
ever-changing needs—often dictates the outcomes.

Leaders today need essential characteristics in order to build, guide, and maintain their
organizations and communities. Some of these qualities include thinking for the future and
developing a vision. It is important to set goals and to realize that change can happen along
the way. Leaders must recognize their own initiative, want to lead, and be willing to assume
responsibility. Motivation can take on many meanings—from creating the incentive for good
project outcomes to guiding a vision that gives your followers energy and direction.

Commitment to the cause for the values of the group is also necessary for a good leader.
Through commitment, we find more meaning in our work and service, and when we find
more meaning in our work and service, we find value. As John W. Gardner said in his
book On Leadership: "Leaders must not only have their own commitments, they must move
the rest of us toward commitment."3

It is easy to lead for yourself. It is more difficult to lead for others. Honesty, integrity, and
the ability to be supportive will create a more successful environment. We all want to know
that our leaders are deserving of our trust. It's about having trust in their knowledge of who
and what they are leading, trust in why they have chosen to lead, and trust in their ability to
accomplish the vision and goals that have been set forward.

Another way leaders can grow themselves and the people around them is to identify where
relationship building can be maintained and where it can be strengthened. Connecting with
others is one of the most effective ways one can lead. In The Leadership Challenge, James
M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner say: "When leadership is a relationship founded on trust and
confidence, people take risks, make changes, keep organizations and movements alive.
Through that relationship, leaders turn their constituents into leaders themselves." 4

In both maintaining and strengthening relationships, it is important to value people for who
they are. Ask questions, really listen, and develop a mutual commitment. Encouraging
others to take a chance, going along with them even when you don't know what the
outcomes will be, and having the courage to support their decisions is something you can do
to help lead. You must also develop your own communication skills and in turn help others
to develop theirs. Communication is a very powerful strategy when you are working to
accomplish a goal. Making sure that you and your expectations are understood will benefit
everyone. This will help you focus on teamwork and the prioritization of goals—which is
especially important since it takes a group to attain those goals.

In building relationships and creating communities, good leaders are better able to
acclimate to changes and work with more diverse teams. But where do you find the
opportunities to lead? In 2008 at the EDUCAUSE annual conference, Deborah Keyek-
Franssen was sponsoring a gathering for attendees to talk about ways to advocate for
women in higher education information technology. She and I had attended the Frye
Leadership Institute (now the Leading Change Institute) that previous summer and had
developed a friendship. I admired Deb for contacting EDUCAUSE and for having the initiative
to request a meeting room for what would become the Women in IT Constituent group. As
a result of our friendship and my interest in the topic, Deb asked if I would like to join her in
leading this group. Together we have seen the group become very productive in promoting
the advocacy of women in the areas of IT recruitment, retention, and advancement efforts
in higher education. These efforts have succeeded because of the effective and responsive
community. Through the continual development of the values of the community, we have
been able to see the growth of individuals and watch them realize their potential.

To become a leader, take note of the opportunities around you and reach out to others.
When you purposefully work toward building relationships and creating communities, you'll
become an effective leader—both for yourself and for others.
Humans live in this world surely do interaction, or reciprocal relationships. This is because
humans are social beings. Creatures that cannot live alone, especially to get the necessities
of life. Between humans is interdependence in all areas of life. We are like a bee with
flowers, forming symbiolism to survive. But in life there must be differences, one of which is
religious differences. In Indonesia, there are 6 official religions recognized by the
government, such as Islam, Christianity, Catholicism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Konghucu. Of
course every religion has its own rules that distinguish it from others. But even though there
are differences we still have to be able to have a good relationship with friends who are
different from our beliefs. As our motto is Bhineka Tunggal Ika which means even though it
is different but still one. So, there is no doubt that we are obliged to maintain the available
differences, so that a good and harmonious relationship can be created in living the life.

Every religion or belief has a lot of differences. However, the goal remains the same, namely
God Almighty. So how are we to create a harmonious relationship between the people of
the religious community? Of course tolerance needs to be applied. For example, by giving
each person the freedom to worship according to their own beliefs, not to vilify other
religions, not to say that one religion is better than the other and many more.