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Written by a former FBI counterintelligence officer who first became an expert in nonverbal
communication as a non-English speaking child immigrant from Cuba to the U.S. before using it to catch
countless criminals, What Every Body Is Saying is one of the books you’ll hear most often recommended
for learning how to decode body language. Expanding your ability to decode body language is an
incredibly important factor in your capacity to deduce motivations in others or establish trust with them
– and perhaps more importantly, it is an invaluable skill to use certain body language yourself to do
things such as communicate authority or feel more confident.
As you read through this summary, it is often helpful to act out the body language yourself, both to
understand exactly what it is and recognize it in others, and to give yourself a mental note so you can
identify when you unconsciously exhibit it yourself.
1. & 2. Mastering the Secrets of Nonverbal Communication & Living Our Own Limbic Legacy
The author repeats the often-quoted statistic that nonverbal behavior is 60 to 65% of all
communication. He explains why this is through a concept known as triune brain theory, which classifies
our mind into the three areas of the reptilian brain (stem), mammalian brain (limbic), and human brain
(neocortex). While the classification is not technically accurate, it is useful in conceptualizing how our
minds control our actions. This book is primarily concerned with the mammalian brain, which controls
most expression of our nonverbal behavior. The key here is to understand that everything we do, even
the most seemingly insignificant scratch or lean, is directed by some portion of the brain. By observing
these behaviors, we can learn to interpret what the mammalian brain is communicating.
The communications of the limbic system are extremely reliable because they operate outside of our
conscious thought, showing our true response to our environment. In fact, there are only three
responses to distress or threats that humans have: freeze, flight, and fight. We express these responses
differently than our hunter-gatherer ancestors, but the way our brains react has not changed.
Shoplifters will subconsciously try to hide their physical presence by keeping their arms close by
their side and hunching slightly
Examples of the flight response (distancing nonverbal behaviors):
Aggressive posture
These three types of limbic responses are often followed by pacifying behaviors, which are
representative of the brain directing the body to provide comforting actions in order to calm down and
restore normal conditions. By observing these pacifying behaviors, you can detect when someone has
reacted negatively to some situation – perhaps something you have said or done.
The “leg cleanser” – when sitting, pushing your hands from the top of your legs toward your
knees
The “ventilator” – pulling on your shirt collar (for men) or tossing the back of your hair up (for
women)
There are many more examples, often involving touching your face, neck, or hair, and sometimes things
like whistling or excessive yawning. These behaviors indicate that someone is uneasy or stressed about
something, and while the cause is not always straightforward (e.g., these aren’t guaranteed indicators of
lying), they are helpful because people generally think nothing of them and make no conscious effort to
hide them.
The author then begins to go into detail about various nonverbal communication, starting with the feet
because they are actually the most “honest” part of the body, and the easiest to read. He attributes this
to the fact that the feet are usually the first body part to be engaged by the freeze, flight, or fight limbic
response. This is in direct contrast to how we are used to reading people, which is from the face down.
By learning to reverse the process, you will find it to be much easier to read people.
Another reason that the feet are the most honest part of the body is that since childhood, most people’s
efforts to disguise their emotions or intentions have always focused on the face. Think about some
common parental reprimands: “Fix your face,” or “At least look happy when your cousins stop by.” Most
people have given comparatively little attention from their neocortexes to their feet.
1. “Happy feet”. Bouncing or wiggling your feet often indicates excitement or satisfaction. Be careful,
though; this behavior can also communicate impatience. Like most nonverbal signals, you must
understand the behavior in its context. While you can’t always see someone’s feet, this movement will
show in their torso or shoulders even when they are sitting.
2. Feet shifting direction. You will often find yourself turning your feet away from things you don’t want
or like. People will generally control the direction of their head and torso, but their feet will point away
from you if they don’t want to be talking to you. This is useful when you approach someone and aren’t
sure if they really want to be speaking to you. If you are already talking to someone and their foot turns
away, it might indicate that they dislike something you said, or that they simply need to leave in order to
make their next appointment. Again, calibrate based on context.
3. The knee clasp. When a person who is sitting places both hands on his knees (often also shifting his
weight forward), he is ready to leave.
4. Gravity-defying behaviors. These behaviors indicate happiness or excitement, and include pointing
one foot up when standing, or simply sitting or standing a little taller. The “starter’s position,” where
someone lifts his heel, may indicate interest, increased engagement, or a readiness to go.
5. The leg splay. This is a territorial display, in which you spread your feet in an effort to establish
control of a situation. If you want to diffuse a situation and notice you are standing in this manner, bring
your feet a little closer together.
6. Standing leg cross. The direct contrast to the leg splay is crossing your ankles when standing. This
indicates that you are very comfortable, anticipating no need to freeze or run, which would require the
balance of two feet on the ground. Crossing your legs when standing is a great way to put someone else
at ease. Interestingly, people will usually cross their legs so they tilt in the direction of the person who
they like the most, or who makes them the most comfortable.
7. Seated foot movement. This is the opposite of the flight response, and basically communicates,
“notice me.” The example the author uses is of a woman dangling or otherwise playing with her shoe.
8. Seated leg cross. The direction of the leg cross often indicates if a person likes you or what you’re
saying. If the inside of the knee is facing you, it’s probable they like you or what you’re saying; if the
inside of the knee is facing away, they might not.
9. Proximity. Also falling under the category of nonverbal foot and leg communication is the distance
that people keep between each other. Everyone has his or her own comfortable level of personal space,
but when someone steps closer or further away, it gives you a clue about their feelings.
10. Walking style. According to the author, there are about 40 different styles of walking. Again, it is a
change in this behavior that gives you a clue as to what someone is feeling.
11. The foot freeze. If a person has been constantly wiggling or moving their foot or leg and then stops
(or vice versa), they may be experiencing stress or another emotional change.
12. The foot lock. When a person suddenly interlocks his feet when sitting, it is an indicator of
discomfort. The extreme case of this behavior is when someone interlocks both feet with the legs of the
chair.
Because the torso contains many of the body’s vital organs, the limbic system of your brain will seek to
protect the area when threatened. The result may be abrupt or subtle, but will communicate volumes.
1. Ventral denial and ventral fronting. The front (ventral) side of your body is the most sensitive side, so
the limbic brain will instruct your torso to shift or turn away from a situation, relationship, or topic you
don’t like, and turn toward those things you find favorable. This principle is particularly helpful in
reading the room and observing who is in agreement with whom. In individual interactions, a powerful
tool to let someone know you are interested or supportive is to simply face them directly and/or lean
forward.
2. The torso shield. This indicator of discomfort includes behavior such as crossing your arms, buttoning
your jacket, reaching across to play with your watch, or putting a notebook, purse, etc. up to your chest.
Again, a change in baseline is key here; many people are simply comfortable crossing their arms.
3. The torso bow. More often seen in Eastern cultures, the torso bow is an indicator of respect or
deference.
4. Torso embellishments. While it can be dangerous to judge a person based on their clothing, the
reality is that you will be judged in like manner. The action point here is to be conscious that whatever
you wear, you are wearing it to communicate something.
5. Preening. An overall lack of personal hygiene or good grooming often indicates sadness, illness, or
other negative states of mind.
6. Torso splays. Leaning back and to the side while sitting is a territorial/power display, and often
indicates a disrespect for authority.
8. Baring the torso. The common manifestation of this signal is removal of a hat, jacket, etc, indicating
that someone is getting ready for a fight (which in today’s world is usually verbal or intellectual in
nature).
9. Breathing behavior and the torso. When the body is stressed, it tries to take in as much oxygen as
possible, resulting in a noticeable expansion and contraction of the chest.
10. Shoulder shrugs. Watch how people combine this motion with a declaration of ignorance (“I don’t
know”), a full shoulder shrug is consistent with the statement, while a partial shrug may indicate doubt
or lack of commitment to the assertion.
11. Weak shoulder displays. This display of bringing your shoulders closer to your ears results from the
limbic system trying to protect the neck as a result of an uncomfortable situation.
1. Gravity-related arm movements. When you are energized, happy, or excited, your arms go up (e.g.,
“high fives”); when you are feeling confident, your arms will often swing by your side. It’s only when you
experience negative emotions that your arms will droop.
2. Arm withdrawal. When someone is upset or threatened, their arms will often move to their sides or
across their chest. You’ll sometimes see this when two people are arguing – they are protecting their
bodies in a non-provocative way.
3. Restriction of arm movement. This is your body’s attempt to make you less detectable, or a smaller
target, in response to a situation that your limbic brain perceives as a threat.
4. Arm cues that isolate. When someone clasps their arms behind their back, they are communicating
higher status and a desire for distance. Another example of an isolating arm cue is how people in a
crowded area position their arms to create space.
5. Arms akimbo. Placing your hands on your hips is a classic example of behavior intended to
communicate dominance or authority. The author notes that this can be a particularly useful tool for
women to communicate that they are standing their ground or insisting that an issue be addressed.
6. Hooding effect. Another territory-claiming display of dominance is putting your hands behind your
neck with your elbows out when seated.
7. Dominant pose. Any general spreading of your arms – planting your fingers on a desk or spreading
your arm out over the chair next to you – is an effort to claim territory in order to communicate
authority or dominance.
8. Adornments and artifacts on the arms. Rings, watches, tattoos, and other arm adornments aren’t
blandly decorative – they are often worn to communicate certain things, even if the wearer doesn’t
consciously acknowledge it.
9. Arms as conduits of affection. Hugging, arm touching, and positioning the arms openly are all
mannerisms that communicate affection through the arms.
Because the hands are so expressive and delicate, they can reveal very subtle nuances in behavior
coming from the limbic system.
1. Effective hand movements. Using hand movements effectively can greatly increase your credibility
and persuasiveness.
2. Hiding your hands. Because this creates such a decidedly negative impression, try to avoid keeping
your hands behind your back or under the table.
3. The power of a handshake. This may be the most written-about gesture in the western world. The
author cautions against trying to establish dominance by maneuvering your hand to be on top, or by
placing your second hand on top. Politicians do these things to avoid looking weaker than the other
person, but in most cases, it just makes people uncomfortable.
4. Offensive hand gestures. Unlike many of the other examples of body language we’ve discussed, many
hand gestures are learned rather than innate reactions. For this reason, it’s probably advisable to avoid
all hand gestures when traveling internationally – you never know what any given gesture might mean
in a foreign country. One gesture that seems to be relatively universal is finger pointing, which is often
considered to be blatantly offensive.
5. Learn to manage sweaty hands. Sweaty hands happen because of stress or nervousness, not
deception. If you notice someone has sweaty hands, consider if there is something you can do to help
them calm down.
6. Nervousness in the hands. Quivering hands can be due to stress, nervousness, excitement, caffeine,
neurological disorders, or focus. Due to the wide range of interpretations, use the context and
concentrate more on changes in the behavior than on the occurrence of the behavior itself.
7. Steepling. Touching the spread fingertips of both hands together is an indication of great confidence,
perhaps in yourself, your abilities, your decision, or your position. Use this gesture to your advantage,
and make sure not to hide it under the table or hold your hands too low if you are trying to
communicate confidence.
8. Thumb displays. Because people don’t often gesture with their thumbs, thumb displays tend to be
fairly accurate tells. Thumbs up communicates confidence, while thumbs hidden (either in your hands or
your pockets) indicates the opposite. If you find yourself standing with your thumbs in your pockets,
switch to putting your other four fingers in your pocket and keeping your thumb out.
9. Genital framing. When someone rests their thumbs on top of or inside their belt loop with fingers
hanging down, they are subconsciously communicating dominance or virility.
10. Frozen hands. Similarly to frozen feet, a sudden cessation of hand movement indicates stress.
11. Interlaced hand stroking or rubbing. Similar to neck touching, this is a pacifying behavior that also
indicates stress.
The body language of the face comes last in this book for a reason – it tends to be the least accurate.
However, it can still provide many valuable clues. Because body language is most easily interpreted
when presented in clusters of behaviors, you need to have an understanding of the body language of
the face so you’re not missing part of the picture.
1. Pupillary constricting and squinting. Pupillary responses are often a two-step process: first widening
when we are surprised, aroused, or confronted, then constricting once we process something that we
perceive negatively. Squinting added to pupillary constriction indicates an even greater negative
response.
2. Eye blocking. The limbic system often tries to censor incoming information by preventing the eyes
from seeing negative things. This may manifest as closing of the eyes, or blocking them with the hand
through some mechanism such as rubbing the forehead.
3. Pupillary dilation, eyebrow arching, and flashbulb eyes. Our eyes also reveal positive emotions
through the opposite of pupillary constriction – opening the eyes wider in response to a favorable
person or event.
4. Eye flash. Another indicator of positive reactions is the eye flash, when someone momentarily raises
both eyebrows, usually paired with a smile.
5. Eye-gaze behavior. Looking directly into someone’s eyes can communicate a wide variety of emotions
– love, interest, hate, etc. – so don’t over-interpret this behavior. In fact, when people look away from
you when they’re talking to you, it often indicates comfort, not disrespect – their limbic systems are
telling them that you’re not a threat, so it becomes comfortable for them to look away. This runs in
direct contrast to the “look people in the eye to communicate confidence and trustworthiness” advice
you’ll often hear.
6. Eye-blink / eye-flutter behavior. An increase in blinking may reflect an inner struggle, possibly with
either our delivery or acceptance of information. It can be difficult to tell the two apart.
7. Looking askance. This involves tilting your head sideways while looking to the side or rolling your
eyes. It signals distrust or a lack of belief.
8. False and real smiles. A real smile will lift the corners of the mouth up, resulting in wrinkles around
the eyes. A fake smile brings the corners of the mouth out but not up.
9. Disappearing lips, lip compression, and the upside-down “U”. This is a sure sign of stress. Essentially,
our limbic system is telling us to shut down and not allow anything into our bodies.
10. The lip purse. The lip purse involves puckering the lips, and indicates disagreement with something
that is being said or done.
11. The sneer. A familiar sign of contempt, the sneer is made by the buccinator muscles, which pull the
sides of the lips toward the ears.
12. Tongue displays. Though this is most commonly manifested as lip licking and communicating stress,
people sometimes jut out their tongue slightly between their teeth when they are gleeful, cheating, or
doing something foolish.
13. Furrowed forehead. More commonly known as frowning, this signal is well known as an indicator of
concentration or confrontation with something disagreeable.
14. Nose flare. This is an intention cue, indicating that someone is about to do something – argue, run,
fight, pick up something heavy, etc.
16. Facial blushing and blanching. Blushing or blanching is the limbic system’s response to deep
emotional states – rushing blood to or away from the face in response to an emotional situation.
17. Disapproval cues. Disapproval cues in the face tend to vary from culture to culture, and can’t
necessarily be universally interpreted.
18. Gravity-defying behaviors of the face. True to the common expressions “head held high,” or “keep
your chin up,” the face will literally rise or fall based on high or low confidence.
Tests of judges, attorneys, clinicians, police officers, FBI agents, politicians, teachers, mothers, fathers,
and spouses show that most of us have no better chance than a coin toss of detecting deception. Even
the very best are no better than 60% accurate. Body language might be invaluable in deciphering when
someone is saying one thing while feeling another, but when someone is deliberately trying to lie, things
become murkier. Lying is uncomfortable because it causes cognitive stress, but signs of discomfort often
show only that the person is uncomfortable with the situation, not that they are lying.
Since this is the key takeaway, I’m going to skip the author’s advice for detecting deception – it would be
much more likely to give us overconfidence in our abilities than to help us. Additionally, the flip side of
the subject (learning to be a convincing liar) seems to be an ignoble goal for the most part, and is not in
the spirit of this site.
Conclusion
You’re certainly not going to be able to memorize every one of the signs discussed in this book, but
simply being aware of these things will vastly improve your awareness of the emotions, intentions, and
motivations of others. The simple realization that all body positions and movements communicate
something from the limbic brain can transform your ability to interact successfully with people. If you
want to make the effort to consciously improve your ability to decode body language, pick one body
part at a time and practice observing and interpreting the cues. With a little time and practice, you can
quickly become an expert.
Keep in mind that some indicators are subtle, while some stand out clearly. Look for clusters of
behaviors, rather than assuming something based on a single cue. Body language indicating discomfort
may simply mean the thermostat is too low, not that a person doesn’t like you. When you run into
mixed signals, the more negative signal is usually the truthful one; it usually means someone is saying
one thing but believes another, and people usually hide negatives, not positives.
It may sound a little sneaky to use this knowledge to decode people, but like all power, it can be used for
good or ill. You can use this knowledge to enrich your relationships and improve your ability to have
successful interactions with others.
-“Eye-blocking” occurs either when we do not like what we see or when we feel threatened. Squinting
and closing or shielding our eyes as actions that have evolved to protect the brain from “seeing”
undesirable images and to communicate our disdain toward others.
-When making false statements, liars will RARELY touch or engage in other PHYSICAL CONTACT with you.
-Any facial expression that lasts too long or lingers is not normal.
-If person’s head begins to shake either in the affirmative or in the negative as he is speaking; and the
movement occurs simultaneously with what he is saying, then the statement can typically be relied
upon as being TRUTHFUL. If, however, the head shake or head movement is delayed or occurs after the
speech, then most likely the statement is contrived and not truthful.
-In addition, honest head movements should be consistent with verbal denials or affirmatives. If a head
movement is inconsistent with or contrary to a person’s statement, it may indicate deception.
-People always pacify just as they breathe, so expect some pacifying behaviours in everyone.
-A person with guilty knowledge will present two distinct behaviour patterns, in sequence, when asked a
difficult question such as, “did you ever go inside the home of Mr. Jones?”.
-The first behaviour will reflect the stress experienced when hearing the question. The interviewee will
subconciously respond with various distancing behaviours, including:
1. FOOT WITHDRAWAL
2. LEAN AWAY
3. TIGHTENED JAW AND LIPS.
-This will be followed by a second set of related behaviours. Pacifying responses to the stress may
include signals such as:
1. NECK TOUCHING
2. NOSE STROKING
3. NECK MASSAGING
-The above are not indicators of DECEPTION, but stress and stress relief.
-“People who are touching their nose while speaking are lying”, maybe, but could also be under stress,
as is a pacifying behaviour.
-Two principal nonverbal behaviour patterns to consider in detecting deception:
1. SYNCHRONY:
-When being questioned, a person answering in the affirmative should have congruent head movement
that immediately SUPPORTS what is said. IT SHOULD NOT BE DELAYED.
-LACK OF SYNCHRONY is when a person states “I did not do it” while her head is moving in an affirmative
motion.
2. EMPHASIS:
-Observing emphasis is important because emphasis is universal when people are being genuine.
-When liars attempt to fabricate an answer, their emphasis looking unnatural or is delayed; rarely do
they emphasise appropriately, or they choose to do so only on relatively unimportant matters.
-Hand behaviours complement honest speech, thoughts and true sentiments. Raising our eyebrows and
widening our eyes are also ways of emphasising a point.
-Another manifestation of emphasis is seen when someone leans forward with the torso, showing
interest.
-Deceptive people spend time evaluating what they say and how it is being received, which is
inconsistent with HONEST BEHAVIOUR.
-Nonverbal behaviours to consider in detecting deception:
1. LACK OF EMPHASIS IN HAND BEHAVIOURS:
-The palms-up position usually indicates the person wants to be believed or wants to be accepted. It is
not a dominant, confident display.
-When a person is making a passionate and assertive declaration, such as “you have to believe me, I did
not kill her” those hands should be face down.
-“I would question any declarative statement made with the palms up.”
-Statements made palm down are more emphatic and more confident than statements made with
hands palm-up in the rogatory position.
-When we are confident and comfortable, WE SPREAD OUT. When we are less secure, we tend to take
up LESS SPACE.
-Notice people who try to hide in the open as this is a display of insecurity and discomfort.
-I hope I have successfully passed on information I learned from Joe Navarro’s book, I couldn’t include
every detail but only the key points I picked up. I think it is important that we keep in mind that we are
all animals, we just happen to be the most dominant at the minute, if there was another more dominant
species then we would be part of nature, and hence nonverbal communication is as present as when
observed in wildlife in nature, in humans.