My Birds and Bees Portfolio

My Birds and Bees Portfolio
By: Jaici Lee and Rebecca Hilton
Brigham Young University-Idaho

MY BIRDS AND BEES PORTFOLIO 1
Table of Contents
Literature Review 2
Target Audience 8
Audience Needs 8
Learning Goals 8
Program Structure 9
Marketing Strategy 10
Pilot Program 10
Lesson Plan 1: Communicating… the 2018 Way 11
Lesson Plan 2: The Use of Media 15
Lesson Plan 3: The Elephant in the Room 18
Lesson Plan 4: Having The Talk… At Many Times, In Many Ways 22
Lesson Plan 5: Your Body is Yours 26
Lesson Plan 6: Romantic Relationships 30
Assessment Plan 33
Assessment Summary: 36
Appendix A: Assessment Instruments 37

Literature Review
Healthy sexuality is increasingly difficult for our youth to understand with all of the
influences that come from outside the home. Parents all hope that their children will grow up and
have healthy relationships and marriages. Although most parents desire that their children fulfill
all these roles, many do not educate their children on healthy sexuality (Jones, 2018). This is
increasingly becoming an issue because children and adolescents are not receiving the proper
and appropriate education that teaches them about their bodies as well as what sex should be.
The more parents learn how to talk with their children about what healthy sexuality is and what it
is not, the better equipped they will be when they leave the home and are facing outside
influences.
The media has such a big influence on our children’s development and the behaviors they
adapt. Because of our technologically-driven society, it is important that parents take the
appropriate time to educate their children on the media, especially what is appropriate and what
is not. Pornography is a growing problem that is now teaching children what sex is, and they are
being exposed at such a young age. Studies show that sex is the most researched topic on the
internet. Children are not wanting to talk to their parents about this intimate subject, but a lot of
that begins with the parents being proactive in starting the discussion when they are young.
Studies also show that children and young teens who a view pornography are more likely to have
negative attitudes to towards condoms and contraceptives, have multiple sexual partners, and
teen pregnancy (Braun-Courville et al., 2009). Because pornography can increase these risky
behaviors, it is vital that parents take their responsibility to teach their children what healthy
sexuality is seriously.
The Internet in general is a major tool that everyone in the world uses to find information,
and sex is not excluded from this. What is appealing for teenagers to use the the Internet to learn
about sex is that it is private and confidential (Braun-Courville 2003). Although there is a lot of
truth on the Internet, there is a lot of misrepresented and incorrect information that children are
getting, especially regarding what sex is and the purpose of it. What is important for parents is
for them to be aware of how their children are using the Internet. In fact, there was a study done
that showed how children are less likely to come across online risks if they know their parents
are aware of what they are searching for/looking at. Because of this, parents can be a very
valuable resource in preventing their children from online risk behavior and harmful online
experiences (Symons et al., 2016).
The relationship that a child has with their parents can really influence them and help
them as they mature and change. In fact, positive parent-child interactions have been associated
with better academic outcomes and lower likelihood of risky behaviors. Children are also
generally better mentally, emotionally, and society. These characteristics help children to make
better decisions in dating. They also generally communicate more with their parents about their
personal lives, including their dating life. When children feel connected to their parents and
have positive interactions with them, they are more likely to disclose to them their feelings,
beliefs, and worries. As adolescents are coming to terms with their sexuality as well as forming
romantic relationships, it is important for them to feel connected to their parents and to seek
guidance from them (Rice et al., 2017).
There is a growing number of teenagers having sexual intercourse before they are
married. This number rose from 7% in 2007 to 9.3% in 2012. There are factors that can help
prevent premature sexual intercourse. Adolescents who have good emotional control are less
likely to participate in risky behaviors. Adolescents who have dreams and goals set up to reach
those goals are more likely to stay focused and participate in activities that support their goals.
They are also less likely to participate in risky behaviors. When a teenager is religious and
participates in church and say personal prayers they are less likely to engage in sexual
intercourse. A teenager who feels supported by their family and has been taught by their parents
to avoid risky behaviors is more likely to find other, better things to do with their time. In
adolescence it is also helpful to choose good friends when trying to avoid risky behavior;
although having a bad friend does not always mean that a teen will participate in risky behavior
when they also have the influence of the other factors mentioned. (Djannah, 2017).
This next topic that was researched pertained to understanding the body and the functions
of the body through puberty. Some of the research found consisted of how obesity may affect the
onset of puberty. Research associating obesity to puberty has so far been inconsistent. This
particular article pools various studies together to analyze the results and identify if the results
are still inconclusive as a whole or if there is a pattern of obesity leading to puberty. The authors
had a thorough process for selecting the studies that would be included in this paper. From the
13,000 studies they were able to narrow them down to include only 11 of them. In 2 studies it
was found that there was no difference in the age of a girls first menstrual cycle between obese
girls and nonobese girls. In 2 other studies it was found that 7 and 8 year old girls with higher
than normal BMIs were more likely to start the first menstrual cycle earlier girls with below
average BMIs. The statistical analysis determined that there was no significance in the difference
of when obese and nonobese girls had their first cycle. However there was a significant
difference when it came to breast development. The meta-analysis determined that obesity does
contribute to early onset puberty in girls. Throughout the article we found that there was not
enough data to determine if this is also true for boys. (Li, et al., 2017)
Most research articles describe adolescent sexuality as being very different from adult
sexuality. Adolescents sexuality is often described as confused, experimental, or risky. But adult
sexuality is usually not. Fortenberry argues that when researching adolescent sexuality we often
overlook the four main components that are researched in adult sexuality. He states that we need
to look more into adolescent sexual desire, sexual arousal, sexual behavior, and sexual function.
Based on what Fortenberry has observed the sexuality of adolescents and adults, though different
in some ways, likely are also very similar. He advocates very strongly for more research to be
done in these four categories in adolescents. (Fortenberry, 2013)
It is such a critical time for children and adolescents to know and understand what
healthy sexuality is. They are being taught about sex by many influences such as the media,
their peers, and Internet, and most of these sources are misleading. As parents learn to become
their child’s number one go-to source to talk about sexuality, as well as the media, their personal
relationships, and their bodies, they will better understand how to deal with their surrounding
influences as well as with the many changes they face throughout their adolescence (Wilson et
al. 2010).
In conclusion, parents need to take on the critical role of protecting their children, as well
as educating them regarding sexuality. There are many influences in society that will quickly
take the place of sexual education, however, studies have shown that when parents take the
initiative to educate their children, their children are more equipped to deal with the stresses and
changes of adolescence.
References
Braun-Courville, D. K., & Rojas, M. (2009, August). Exposure to Sexually Explicit Web Sites
and Adolescent Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors. Retrieved July 7, 2018.
Djannah, S. N. (2017). The adolescent’s overview with healthy sexual behavior in the risky
environment. International Journal Of Evaluation And Research In Education, 6( 3),
221-226.
Fortenberry, J. D. (2013). Review: puberty and adolescent sexuality. Hormones And Behavior,
64(Puberty and Adolescence), 280-287. doi:10.1016/j.yhbeh.2013.03.007
Jones, M. (2018). When Porn Is Sex Ed. The New York Times Magazine, 30.
Li, W., Liu, Q., Deng, X., Chen, Y., Liu, S., & Story, M. (2017). Association between obesity
and
puberty timing: A systematic review and meta-analysis. International Journal of
Environmental Research and Public Health,14( 10), 1266. doi:10.3390/ijerph14101266
Rice, T. M., McGill, J., & Adler-Baeder, F. (2017). Relationship education for youth in high \
school: preliminary evidence from a non-controlled study on dating behavior and parent
adolescent relationships. Child & Youth Care Forum, 46(1), 51-68.
Symons, K. K., Ponnet, K., Emmery, K., Walrave, M., & Heirman, W. (2017). Parental
knowledge
of adolescents' online content and contact risks. Journal Of Youth & Adolescence, 46(2),
401-416.
Wilson, E., Dalberth, B., Koo, H., & Gard, J. (2010). Parents' perspectives on talking to
preteenage children about sex. Perspectives On Sexual & Reproductive Health, 42( 1), 56
63. doi:10.1363/4205610
Target Audience
The Program that we created was based on the problem that children and teens are being
brought up in a world that is overly sexualized. These children are often not taught how to deal
with these new feelings in a healthy way. Our target audience was parents. We want all parents
to be informed and capable of talking to their children about sexuality. All parents have children
who will eventually start asking questions and/or trying to figure out their own sexual identity.
This program was for them.
Audience Needs
Parents are faced with challenges that are unique to the world which we live in today.
Technology has completely taken over children’s entertainment, interests, and education. The
problem is that children are learning about sexuality through the media and other means that can
be damaging to children. Every parent has the responsibility to protect their children. In this day
and age, the only way to protect their children is to talk to them and teach them about healthy
sexuality. Parents need tools and resources to help teach and empower them to help their children
as they grow and mature.
Learning Goals
Overarching Learning Goal:

Our goal was to encourage parents to teach their children about healthy sexuality in an
increasingly sexualized world.
Learning Goals:
● Parent/Child Relationships: Our goal was to have parents learn to have open
communication with their children. They learned to create a safe environment in their
home.
● Understanding your Body: Parents learned how to help their young children understand
puberty and why these changes occur in their bodies. They also learned how to teach their
children to protect their bodies.
● Healthy Romantic Relationships: Parents learned how to teach their children about how
to identify what a healthy relationship is, as well how to encourage children to set
boundaries in their relationships. Parents also set rules and limits for their children.
● Media: Parents understood the importance of helping their children learn to use the media
appropriately. They got to learn about some of the different ways that the media can
impact their family and establish rules for how the media will be used in their home.
Program Structure
Our Program Structure consisted of creating an educational blog that teaches parents how
to talk to their children about sexuality, as well as help them guide their children as they grow.
We posted on our blog about twice a week for about ten weeks. These posts consisted of various
scholarly articles, book recommendations, videos, and powerpoints that parents could take away
with them and use to teach their children. We used different formats to keep participants engaged
and to give options to those that have different learning styles. To promote discussion we
included a question/answer page that parents can participate in. It was important to us for
parents to feel that they could ask questions and learn about things that they specifically related
to. We also created activities that parents participated in to help them learn to make goals and
establish rules. We coordinated who would write about or find materials for each specific topic.
Whoever was not the one writing edited the post. For some topics, we chose to work together to
get a more comprehensive post.
Marketing Strategy
The specific needs that we targeted was the need for parents helping their children
understand healthy sexuality. We focused on targeting parents of children about 8 years and
older. The title of our online curriculum is My Birds & Bees. The blog can be accessed at
mybirdsandbees.weebly.com. To market our program most effectively, we used Facebook as a
primary source. We posted on our personal accounts as well as asked our friends and family to
share our post. In order to target parents, we posted on groups we are a part of that primarily
consist of women 18 and older, many of whom have children, as well as groups that consist of
both men and women who have children. The materials and cost we kept to a minimum. We
used Facebook as our main method for marketing. The assistance consisted of having people we
know share our blog with their Facebook friends.
Pilot Program
For our Pilot Program we got our blog evaluated by four people. We shared with them an
evaluation form and asked them to fill it out as they went through our blog. We wanted our blog,
and the lessons contained in it, to be informative and relatable. The people we asked to evaluate
the blog were: Kaili Killpack, Ingrid Thomson, Aaron Taylor, and Logan Rogers. Some of the
things we learned are that we did well at making our post relatable and we succeeded at making
the lesson motivating. We held the interest of our audience until it came to the video in our post.
We learned that by embedding the video our audience would not have to leave our page at all
and that made it easier for them to watch the video and not move on to doing something else.
We also learned that this is a topic that is relatable and needed because there are many parents
who do not know how to go about teaching sexuality to their children. From this teaching
experience we have learned that we are on the right track and that the program that we have
developed is teaching our audience what they need. We received great insight that will help us
move forward as we create our other lesson plans as well as improve our current plans.
Lesson Plan 1: Communicating… the 2018 Way

If we as parents do not take the role of teaching our children about sexuality, we are
doing a disservice to our children.
Before we get started we want to invite you to have a journal with you to take notes in
and to write your thoughts. We would also invite you to write down action steps you can take in
your life to implement the lesson that you learn here.
The End of an Era
For all you parents out there, think back to when you were a child. Think back to those
long talks that you had with your mom or your dad after school, after a date, or after an argument
with your friends. How much has your relationship with them influenced you? Now think about
your first talk you ever had with them about sex, as well as the continued discussion with them
throughout your adolescence. Did you feel comfortable talking with them about sexuality? Did
that affect you and your relationships as a teenager?
“Growing up I knew that I could talk to my mom about anything. If I was having a
problem with a friend, she was the first person I would go to. When I needed help getting out of a
pickle, she was always there. When I got my first period, she was the person that explained to me
how it was normal and that I wasn’t dying. When I started dating and spending more time with
boys, I knew that I could go to her with any fears and she would be there to comfort me. My mom
has always been there for me and is still the first person (besides my husband now) that I go to
when I need help or I have good or bad news. She is one of the few people who knows everything
about me and has been there for it all.” -Jaici Lee

Sexual health is such an important part of any human being. It affects all of the other
aspects of individuals: spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional. Children and adolescents are at
such a critical time in learning what sexuality is, the purpose of it, and how it plays in their life.
Again, think back to your own childhood and adolescence. The only way to really learn about
sex was either through parents or other individuals, with a few exceptions. Nowadays, children
as young as the age of 8 are learning about sexuality, not through sex ed, but through their
friends and the media. If we as parents do not take the role of teaching our children about
sexuality, we are doing a disservice to our children.
The Brutal Silence
Now think about your relationship with your child or your children. How much is
communication about sexuality part of your relationship?
One study shows “the earlier and more often parents discuss sex-related topics with their
adolescents, the more likely their adolescents are to delay their sexual debut and less likely
adolescents will be to engage in risky sexual behavior” (Guilamo-Romos et al. 2017).
While that sounds great, reality teaches us the disturbing truth. One recent study done by
Harvard showed that “more than 40 percent of parents never get around to talk to their children
about sex until after their kids are sexually active” (Lampros, 2014). What is dangerous about
this finding is our children are learning about sex from somewhere; but it is not us. If we as
parents take it upon ourselves to be the primary source of our children’s education on sexuality,
we will help them be better equipped for the changes that lie ahead for them. They will have an
understanding of who they are as they experience puberty and attraction.
Breaking the Silence

I get it. This is an extremely uncomfortable topic for parents and for their kids; but it
doesn’t have to be. Talking about sex can feel kind of taboo. However, sexuality is too important
of a topic to not to about. Education and understanding is so vital when it comes to
communicating about this subject. Our kids should be learning about it from us though. If they
don’t, they will learn it from an outside source.
Watch this video to hear what expert, Dan Oaks, has to say about talking to our kids
about Sex. As you watch write down the things that stand out to you.
https://vimeo.com/81032157
Isn’t that interesting? Watching this video for the first time I was surprised by how early
he recommends that we explain what sex is to our children. Did that surprise you? Were there
other things that were surprising to you? Do you agree with what Dan Oaks recommends? How
will you implement this into your family and in teaching your children?
When talking about sex with your children they should feel comfortable and understand
that they can and should come to you with any questions that they have. (Remember, if they are
not coming to you they might be learning from another source.) What can we do to help them
feel comfortable talking to us?
● Start talking to them when they are young. If this is something that you talk about before
they start having questions then they know it is important and that you are there to answer
the questions when they do come up.
● Keep it age appropriate, using words that they can understand.

● Create a safe home environment. At home it should be a safe place to talk and learn. Kids
need to know that they can talk about anything in their home. They should feel safe and
secure with the people that are welcome in their homes.
● Keep it simple. Don’t go out for ice cream, or do something outside the house, when you
talk. You want them to know that it can be brought up by them at any time. It is not a
topic that only parents can start a conversation about.
Making a Plan
Now that you have learned about the importance of having open communication with
your children and what that looks like, write down a plan of action.
● How will you make your home a safe place?
● When are you going to start talking to your child about sex?
● Where will you have that first conversation? (it doesn’t have to be a special event)
● How will you start the conversation? What specific age-appropriate words and phrases
will you use to help them understand what human sexuality is?
● How often will you plan to talk about it with your child?
Include answers to these questions and any others that you think are important to address.
Resources
Here are a couple of websites to check out to learn more!
http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/the-facts-parent-child-communication
https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/schoolage-children/talking-about-sex-and-puberty/
what-to-teach-about-sex
Sharing your Experiences

If you have any experiences with anything talked about today, we invite you to share
them in the comments! This is a great way for us to learn from each other. Also feel free to share
how your action plan goes and what you might do differently next time.
Let’s try to keep a no judgement policy as we discuss our experiences as everyone is still
learning and each person’s experience will be a little different. Thank you!
After you have finished going through the lesson and participating in the activities please
fill out this form to let us know how you are doing with the information you have learned so far.
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfbqFYiE8_2UvRzdaCTwIAHqNuzk1W7aH5r3tgs
K3hRHel88w/viewform (form is embedded in the blog)

Lesson Plan 2: The Use of Media

Don’t forget to take some notes and write down your thoughts. Write down the answers
to the questions as you read the lesson to help you remember the things you learn.
Hello everyone! Today and throughout the week we are going to be learning a bit about
media and how media impacts our lives. I know that this is a broader topic than Healthy
Sexuality, but it is an important topic to understand when we are teaching our children about sex.
Media uses many tools to influence the human mind. Media plays a large role in our lives.
Why Does the Use of Media Matter?
I know it might seem a little odd to be talking about media in a blog about teaching your
kids healthy sexuality. So, I just want to share a little bit about why being aware of the use of
media in our homes is important.
Media is used in a lot of ways. It is used to promote political propaganda, advertise for a
variety of companies, share with friends and family, share with the world/specific audience your
opinions and ideas (AKA blogging), do research, listen to music, and so much more. If you are
anything like me, you may be on a computer or phone anywhere from an hour to 10 hours a day.
I use it as a resource for just about everything I do, and I work from home.
How many times have you come across an ad that markets with explicit content? I
personally don’t watch a lot of television that has commercials, but for those of you who do, how
often is there a commercial that is not child appropriate during a family show? These are just a
couple of examples of the ways that we can be exposed to content that is inappropriate and even
sexually explicit. So, I ask you now, why does the use of media matter when it comes to
protecting our children and teaching them about healthy sexuality?

Read through the slideshow to learn more.
https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/16Sr9k_2x8BiyvnK_MieZBJwXwRBR5y3zUqWfgnUav
Eo/edit?usp=sharing (This Slideshow is embedded into the blog.)
Using Media Appropriately
We have access to so many devices that help us connect with the media. How are we
supposed to monitor what our children are using their personal devices for? Should we be
monitoring this? Is this an invasion of their privacy?
Many parents struggle with controlling the use of media among their teens because they
need these resources to stay in contact with friends and family and to do their school work. The
shift from books to tablets, phones, and laptops is giving them easier access to wholesome
literature while also giving them easier access to pornographic and explicit literature and images.
A couple ways that we can monitor the use of electronic devices:
● Keep computers and laptops in public areas of the home. Don’t let your kids use a
computer behind closed doors away from everyone. These will help children avoid
temptation.
● Have children turn in their phones at night. Parents can collect them in a drawer or basket
before they go to bed.
● Use password protections on websites that may have content that is not appropriate for
your children. Let your kids know that before you will unlock the website you need to
check it out.
● Have filters on your internet.
● Have surprise inspections. Let your kids know that you are the one providing their
phones and with that comes the responsibility of making sure they are using it safely. A
surprise inspection would mean that at any random time you can ask for their phone and
they have to give it to you. You can then look at their browser history and messages.
(This does not mean that you have to read through everything. Just do a quick check to
make sure everything looks clean and safe.)
Some parents think of some of these tactics as an invasion of privacy. Before putting
them into action you should discuss with your co-parent and determine what will work best in
your household. If you have used any of these or have your own methods that have worked well
with your family SHARE them in the comments! Let’s help each other out by sharing our
stories.
Protecting Your Family
Now that you have learned why it is important to know what media is being used in your
home, it is time to set some boundaries in your home to protect your family. Talk to your spouse
or co-parent and decide what you both want to implement in your home. What rules do you
already have in place and what needs to change? What problems need to be addressed? What
rules will you set?
Once you have come up with your plan, have a family meeting to discuss the new rules
and teach your children how to be safe when using media.
Share your experience with us in the comments! What went well and what would you do
differently?
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Lesson Plan 3: The Elephant in the Room
“Nine out of ten children children from ages 8 to 16 learn about sex from porn”
The Sad Truth
It’s no secret that we are a media-obsessed society, and that definitely has its downfalls.
One of the issues in particular is the widespread use and viewing of pornography. It is frightful
to think about what our children have access to these days. As a parent, ask yourself if you have
thought about the influence that pornography has or might have on your child because they are
surrounded by it.
If you ever think that your child would never do something like that, just remember that
there are studies that show “that nine out of ten children from ages 8 to 16 learn about sex from
porn” (Chirban, 2012).

In order to not let pornography take the place of sex education at home or at school, it is
important to remember these things:
● It does not matter how young your child is, anyone can be exposed.
● Talk to your child about pornography on a regular basis.
● Be aware of your child’s technology use (smartphones, laptops, media time)
● Create a safe environment where your child feels they can openly communicate with you.
Below is a story found on abcNEWS about a teenager who had a pornography addiction
(https://abcnews.go.com/Technology/internet-driving-pornography-addiction-school-aged-kids/st
ory?id=16297026) :
“Nathan Haug is an upstanding high school student, on his way to becoming an Eagle
Scout. He has a high GPA, serves on the student council and swims competitively, but Haug had
a secret he kept hidden from his family and friends during his early teen years -- he suffered from
an addiction to online pornography. This 17-year-old from Alpine, Utah, is one of eight children,
and one of the oldest still living at home. He said his habit of looking at pornography on the
Internet started when he was around 12 or 13 years old. "It was kind of there, uninterrupted," he
said. "I became almost numb to it. It became such a part of, pretty much my daily routine. It was
automatic."
And Haug is far from alone. There is still little research on how many U.S. kids are
addicted to online pornography, but a University of New Hampshire study reports exposure
begins young, for some, as young as 8 years old...Haug said he would view pornography late at
night on his family's computer, when everyone else was asleep; he became good at covering his
tracks.
"It got to deleting specific searches and cleaning up my messes afterwards to the point
where I timed it masterfully," he said. "I'd give myself time to look at it or watch it and then I'd
plan ahead of time the... time it took to completely clean the history. Sometimes I'd even search
things afterwards just to make it look like someone didn't just clean it."
His private habit didn't fit into the rest of his lifestyle. Aside from being a lifeguard at the
local pool and on the local club team, Haug was also active in the Mormon church, and he said
the addiction hurt him. "I felt like every day I was just incomplete, like there was just a whole
chunk of me missing, like a hole in my gut," he said. "It just represented the part-- the things I
was going to do and wanted to do that, because of my addiction, I wasn't able to.’
Connection is Key
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dl1g_U_Wos0
“Talking to my oldest son about pornography openly has been extremely important in his
feeling safe as he processes the sexually focused world we live in. I have explained to him that
there is nothing wrong with the human body and the female body in particular, but still when he
sees images on magazine covers or an occasional pop up on the internet he will come to me
immediately and talk to me about it because of the trust we’ve built through conversations about
it. I think it has helped him tremendously to process what he is seeing and how it makes him feel
to be able to talk to me and identify inappropriate images when he sees them. We were in a store
a few months ago and when he saw a magazine cover of a naked woman strategically hiding her
private areas he came to me and pointed it out and said that we should talk to the manager about
it and he did with my mother. It was really cool and an important thing for him to be able to
stand up for his sensitive spirit to it. The more we can talk to our children about this pervasive
issue the better for them no question.” -Susanna Hilton
Communication is a must in our culture regarding pornography. In fact, some districts
are considering implementing pornography education in their school’s sex ed. The education
director of Options for Sexual Health, Kristen Gilbert, said, "When we don't talk to young people
about sex, when we don't give them good information that's age-appropriate, porn reaches in to
fill the gap” (CBC).
Get Educated Yourself
In order to educate our children on pornography, we need to be aware ourselves. Here
are a few resources to help you understand more about this issue:
● https://www.acpeds.org/the-college-speaks/position-statements/the-impact-of-pornograph
y-on-children
● https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/sexuality/when-children-view-pornography
/what-pornography-does-to-our-children
● https://www.protectkids.com/effects/harms.htm
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Lesson Plan 4: Having The Talk… At Many Times, In Many Ways
Today we want to focus on “THE talk”. As we have previously said, talking about sex
with your children once will not be as effective as having an open dialogue with them. You
should not have just one big talk. You should talk about it frequently and openly. As your child
grows and changes they will have different needs. You might need to talk about puberty one day
and safe sex a different day. You should talk to your child about the needs that they currently
have and change the discussion based on those needs.
Starting with the Basics
The bigger focus today will actually be talking to your child about puberty. This is one
topic that parents are a little more willing to talk about but that they don’t always know how to
talk about. Let’s break it down. There are changes that take place physically and emotionally.
Think back to when you experienced puberty. You may remember your friends/siblings
talking about when they were having certain changes as well and comparing yourself to them. It
is important to remember that everyone goes through physical and emotional changes at different
times in their adolescence. In fact, studies show that girls usually get their period as early as age
9 and as late as age 16, while boys go through puberty usually around 10 or 11 (Kids Health).
Either way, it is important to be ahead of your kids in the game and be proactive in talking to
them about the changes that will happen to them.
Talking about Puberty: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjWEoDFk9SI
Talking About Physical Changes
Obviously children experience physical changes when they go through puberty. Below
are a list of changes that are important to talk to your child about:
Girls:
● Breasts will start developing
● Increase in height
● Change of shape (i.e. hips will widen)
● Pubic hair will grow
● Start of period/vaginal discharge
● Hair growth all over body
(RaisingChildren)
Boys:
● External genitals will grow
● Pubic hair will grow
● Increase in height
● Increased production of testosterone
● Hair growth all over body
● Erections and ejaculation will begin
● Voice will begin to break and eventually get deeper
(RaisingChildren)
***Not only is it important to talk to your child about the changes that will happen to their body,
but it is also important to talk about the changes that will occur in the bodies of the opposite
gender so they understand.
Talking About Emotional Changes

While these changes vary with each child, below are some general emotional changes
that children going through puberty can experience:
● Overly sensitive
● Seeking for an identity
● Uncertainty
● Peer pressure
● Conflicting thoughts
● Mood swings
● Self consciousness
(Menstrupedia)
Inside Puberty: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rsj6dW6qKRc
Birds and Bees Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9tb2KDVNlo
Now What?
Make a goal to have a discussion with your child about what you learned from this
material. Talk to them about these changes and how they are completely normal for their
development and growth. Remember, the goal is to help your child feel like these changes are
natural and are not to be afraid of or to hide. The more communication about this the better!
Book Recommendation: There’s No Place Like Home...for Sex Education: A Guidebook
for Parents.
After your discussion, please take this survey.
https://goo.gl/forms/UBLH3J4s1MoKFhqW2
Lesson Plan 5: Your Body is Yours

"Sexual intercourse is, in my estimation, the most fundamental, powerful behavior there
is on the face of the earth...It has the ability to give life, potentially take life, and change any
number of people's lives forever ... and that's not child's play." (Hoffman)
Bodies, and the emotions that come with them, can be confusing and difficult to navigate.
What is especially difficult as a parent is trying to help your child understand the purpose of
sexuality as well as how to use it in a healthy way, even when they are having raging hormones.
Most parents think that talking to their children about sexual interest is way off, however, sexual
development begins in a child’s first few years (Kids Health). As kids mature, they learn more
about their bodies as well as experience changes that are new and different for them. They begin
to notice others, generally of the opposite sex, and also feel attraction for them.
Below are a few tips in helping your child learn to protect their bodies and have a healthy
sexuality:
● Help your child know who they can talk to

○ Who are adults that they feel comfortable with and trust? There might be a
teacher or other people that they have regular and consistent contact with.
○ Don't tell them what adults are trustworthy. Let them decide. This is
someone you want them to feel safe talking to if something feels wrong.
● Teach them their body parts
○ Some studies say that it is good for children to know their bodies parts by
the age of four. Parents may feel uncomfortable talking about this at such
a young age, especially the private parts, but children need to understand
that those parts are meant to be private and nobody should touch them
there.
○ Children need to know the actual words for their body parts, not
nicknames. A boy has a penis and a girl has a Vagina.
○ If you are uncomfortable talking about this, there are children’s books that
are available for you to read to your child that may make this a little
easier. You can find books as basic or complex as you like.
● Safe vs. Unsafe Touch
○ It is important to teach children the difference between safe and unsafe
touch. Tell them that if anyone touches them unsafely, they should come
tell you immediately. The earlier children understand this the less likely
they are to be sexually harassed and abused. Studies show that 1 in 6 boys
are sexually abused and 1 in 4 girls are sexually abused
(AnxiousToddlers). Help prevent this by educating at an early age!

○ Sometimes it is hard to know what is a safe or unsafe touch. If your child
is unsure or feels uncomfortable then they should know that it is okay to
come talk to you or another trusted adult.
● Help them build their trust in their instincts
○ Talk to your child about how if anything makes them feel uncomfortable,
they should say no and come talk to you about it.
● Teach your child not to keep secrets
○ Secrets aren't safe. If they feel uncomfortable with someone asking or
telling them to keep a secret they should not hesitate to talk to you or
another trusted adult.
● Talk to them regularly
○ Make it a priority to consistently talk to your children about sexuality and
if there is anything that has happened that they feel uncomfortable talking
about. Try to understand where your child is at and make it comfortable to
talk about.
Here is an interesting thought from U.S. News:
Don't use pet names for private parts.
Who remembers the hullabaloo that happened after a character on Grey's Anatomy
referred to her vagina as "va-jay-jay"? Oprah adopted it, and the term went viral. "It sounds
warm and familiar and it almost makes the vagina feel like a little cartoon character with eyes
that walks around," said John McWhorter, a linguist quoted in a story on the nickname in the
New York Times. The problem here: Cartooning private parts isn't exactly a lesson in realism.
And that's what's needed, say experts. Using the correct names for body parts helps to create
comfort with one's body as opposed to shame, Berman says. Also, nicknaming private parts
"kind of adds to the mystery of things," rather than creating that critical open environment,
Homme says. "Secrecy is not a good thing in the adolescent years.’”
Resources for Teaching Your Child
Great videos to share with kids to help them understand how to protect themselves:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u03EHVf-7vI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-5mdt9YN6I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8R2g5QrDAw
Look up the Protect Yourself Rules and you will find loads of animated videos aimed at
teaching children how to protect themselves from abuse. http://fightchildabuse.org
Great Books to read with your kids to teach them what is and what is not appropriate:
https://www.amightygirl.com/your-body-belongs-to-you?ref=blog-prd
https://www.amightygirl.com/no-means-no?ref=blog-prd
Please fill out this survey, thanks!
https://goo.gl/forms/HIFXAbhmyarhNcAU2
Our Resources:
https://health.usnews.com/health-news/articles/2012/08/03/teaching-your-kids-about-sex-dos-an
d-donts
https://www.familyeducation.com/life/physical-sexual-abuse/teaching-your-child-protect-himself
https://www.anxioustoddlers.com/prevent-sexual-abuse/#.Wy6bAC3Mwyl
http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/development-foyer.html?WT.ac=ctg#catsexual-health
Lesson Plan 6: Romantic Relationships

Do you all remember the first “romantic” relationship you ever had? I do.
When I was fourteen I had a huge crush on a boy in my ward at church. I wasn’t really
allowed to date until I was sixteen and neither was he so there wasn’t much we could do as we
also couldn’t drive. However when my friends and I all went to dances or had movie nights he
was always there too. At dances we would dance together for all the slow songs and then on the
drive home I was usually exhausted and would fall asleep in the car with my head on his
shoulder. It lasted for maybe a month and then it was over.

http://lh3.ggpht.com/_AhS2pNJVzwg/SguEnB7fMQI/AAAAAAAAATk/ozPsfoGBcII/s320/nap
oleondynamite3amb8.jpg
Most parents think that dating is way off for their children, but statistics show that the
average age that teens start dating is 13 years old (Psychology Today). Although there are
exceptions, most of the romantic relationships that are formed as a teenager are not going to last.
And they aren’t supposed to. It is important for teenagers to learn how to be in a relationship and
work together with whatever partner they end up choosing. This is also a great way for teens to
figure out what personalities and qualities they might like in a future spouse. After all, the
purpose of dating is to eventually find someone to marry and make a life with.
We run into some problems if we let our teens start to date before they are ready though.
These problems include:
● Not being emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship or to end a bad relationship
● Being controlled by physical desires (remember they are at the point when they are
learning about their bodies and are starting to have urges that may make relationships
more difficult or tempt them to do things that should be saved for marriage.)
● When teenagers start dating early they are more likely to have more physical
relationships before marriage and sometimes before graduating high school.
● Not able to recognize when a relationship is unhealthy.
There comes a time when it is good for your child to date and to explore what they like
and don’t like in a potential partner. It is important to have in depth discussions with your teen
about what is and isn’t appropriate on dates. To be more detailed, here are a few things to
consider talking with your teen about before they start dating (Psychology Today):
● Curfews
● Issues Around Sexuality
● Whether or Not They Are Permitted to Drive With The Date
● Making Good Choices
● Use of Alcohol & Drugs on Dates
● Not Forgetting to Maintain Friendships While Dating
● Keeping You Informed About Their Whereabouts & Changes in Plan
When you are considering each of these topics you should also think about what your
rules are or will be and how they will keep your teen safe as they are going out with friends and
dating. You should know who your child is with and where. It is important that your child
understands this and that they are aware of the expectations that you have for them.
So when is a teen relationship unhealthy. Here are some signs for you to look out for
while your teen is dating
(https://www.verywellfamily.com/unhealthy-relationship-signs-in-teens-4065362):
● Your teen’s partner is jealous and possessive
● Your teen changes their habits
● Your teen has unexplained injuries
● Your teen’s significant other doesn’t respect their goals
● You teen checks in constantly (via texting, social media, etc.) with their significant other
● Your teen apologizes frequently
● The relationships becomes serious too fast

If you notice any of these signs, talk to your child immediately about your concerns and
allow them to talk to you about their situation.
Please take this survey so we can get your feedback!
https://goo.gl/forms/zhKWzLSfqcPEzX053
Resources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-teen-doctor/201410/when-should-kids-start-datin
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-parent-teen/201512/teen-love-dating-in-today-s-
new-world
Assessment Plan
Questions we asked in Assessments:
Open Communication:
● How do you feel about open communication with their children about sexuality
after learning through our program? (Open Ended)
● What are some of the ways that you have created a safe environment for
communication with your children? (Open Ended)
● What do you still have questions about? (Open Ended)
Bodies:
● Do you feel comfortable in your knowledge about how the body works? (Scale of
1-5)
● Do you feel comfortable with teaching your children about puberty? (Scale of
1-5)
● Have you had to teach any of your children about puberty before going through
this program? After? Was the experience easier? How was the experience
different? (Open Ended)
● How can you teach your child the importance of protecting their body? (Open
Ended)
● How confident are you in in talking with your child or adolescent about sex?
(Scale of 1-5, 1 being not at all, 5 being it is easy)
● If your child asked you a question about sex, how would you talk to them about
it? (Open ended)
● What questions do you still have?
Media:
● How comfortable are you with talking about pornography and masturbation with
your child? (Scale of 1-5, 1 being not at all, 5 being really comfortable)
● How have you implemented what you have learned regarding pornography into
how your family uses technology? (Open Ended)
● What questions do you still have?
Romantic Relationships:
● Have you established boundaries with your children in regards to dating as well as
encouraged your child to establish boundaries in dating? (yes or no)
● What rules have you established in regards to dating for your children? (Open
ended)
● What do you still have questions about? (Open-ended, in each lesson)
We collected data over a period of about fifty days through online surveys and personal
interviews. We collected data from our friends and acquaintances on social media who
participated in the program.
The assessment instruments we developed and used consisted of online surveys and
qualitative data (open ended questions). We used social media to access multiple individuals
who participated in these surveys and we randomly selected individuals willing to participate in a
personal interview where we asked open-ended questions.
Assessment Summary:
The purpose of our assessment was to get a feel as to how much our participants learned
and took action from the material on the blog. We assessed the participant’s knowledge on the
different subjects we posted about as well as their goals and plan to take action with their own
children. Every assessment focused on helping parents become better sex educators for their
children regarding different subjects such as media, relationships, puberty, etc. There were two
people who responded to all six of our assessments at the end of our blog posts. These responses
helped us to determine the effectiveness of our assessments and see how the material helped the
participants. Our conclusions from the data are that the participants felt comfortable talking to
their children about the discussed subjects regarding sexual education as well as the participants
took parenting seriously and wanted to learn as much as they could in order to help their
children. Although they felt comfortable, they did not feel secure in knowing how often to bring
up these subjects.
What we learned from this data and program is that parents want to help teach their
children, they just need to learn about the reality of what their children are facing. There are
many parents that want to talk to their children about these difficult topics such as pornography,
dating, sexual desire, etc., they just do not know exactly how often to have the conversations
without them seeming mundane. From our personal observations we feel that we met the goals of
the workshop and helped educate parents who want to help their children as they mature. While
not as many people participated as we would have liked, we feel that the people who did
participate gained useful knowledge and tools to help them be better educators for their children.
This program further strengthened our desire and conviction to help other parents who are trying
their best to raise their children to have a mature understanding of what sexuality is and how it
applies in their lives.
Appendix A: Assessment Instruments

In each of the lessons there was an assessment at the end. This is where they are all located.
Assessment 1: Open Communication

1. How do you feel about open communication with your children about sexuality after
learning through our program?
2. What are some of the ways that you have created a safe environment for communication
with your children?
3. What do you still have questions about?
Assessment 2: The Use of Media
1. What rules have you made for the use of media in your home?
2. On a scale of 1-5 how well do your children know how to use media appropriately?
3. What have you done to teach your kids how to use media appropriately? What can you do
in the future?
4. What do you still have questions about?
Assessment 3: Pornography
1. How do you/are you going to talk to your child about pornography?
2. On a scale from 1-5, how comfortable do you feel about talking to your child about
pornography?
3. What questions do you still have?
Assessment 4: Having the Talk...At Many Times, in Many Ways
1. After talking to you child about puberty, how much do you feel they understand about the
physical and emotional changes that will naturally happen to them? (On a scale of 1-5)
2. Were there specific questions your child asked you during your conversation?
3. Did the conversation feel comfortable? If so, what did you do to create that atmosphere?
4. Do you have any additional questions/comments?

Assessment 5: Your Body is Yours
1. On a scale of 1-5, how comfortable do you feel with talking to their child about their
bodies (as young as the age of 4)?
2. How often do you feel you should talk to you child or adolescent about sexuality and
what they are experiencing?
3. On a Scale of 1 to 5, Do you feel your child has a clear understanding of safe touch vs.
unsafe touch?
4. What do you think you can do better to help your child know how to protect their bodies?
5. What other questions/comments do you have?
Assessment 6: Romantic Relationships
1. Have you talked to your child about the rules that they have in regards to dating? If so,
how did it go?
2. Have you talked to your child recently about sex and having safe sex or remaining
abstinent?
3. What are your expectations when your teen goes out on a date?
4. What time does your teen need to be home when they go out at night?
5. What are your expectations when they bring a date to your house?
6. What other questions do you have about dating?


My Birds and Bees Portfolio

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My Birds and Bees Portfolio

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My Birds and Bees Portfolio

By: Jaici Lee and Rebecca Hilton

Brigham Young University-Idaho

Lesson Plan 1: Communicating… the 2018 Way 11

Lesson Plan 2: The Use of Media 15

Lesson Plan 3: The Elephant in the Room 18

Lesson Plan 4: Having The Talk… At Many Times, In Many Ways 22

Lesson Plan 5: Your Body is Yours 26

Lesson Plan 6: Romantic Relationships 30

Appendix A: Assessment Instruments 37

experiences (Symons et al., 2016).

guidance from them (Rice et al., 2017).

done in these four categories in adolescents. (Fortenberry, 2013)

and Adolescent Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors. Retrieved July 7, 2018.

environment. ​International Journal Of Evaluation And Research In Education,​ ​6(​ 3),

64​(Puberty and Adolescence), 280-287. doi:10.1016/j.yhbeh.2013.03.007

puberty timing: A systematic review and meta-analysis. ​International Journal of

Environmental Research and Public Health,14(​ 10), 1266. doi:10.3390/ijerph14101266

adolescent relationships. ​Child & Youth Care Forum​, ​46​(1), 51-68.

This program was for them.

as they grow and mature.

Overarching Learning Goal:

increasingly sexualized world.

children to protect their bodies.

get a more comprehensive post.

mybirdsandbees.weebly.com. To market our program most effectively, we used Facebook as a

know share our blog with their Facebook friends.

Lesson Plan 1: Communicating… the 2018 Way

doing a disservice to our children.

your life to implement the lesson that you learn here.

The End of an Era

that affect you and your relationships as a teenager?

about me and has been there for it all.” -Jaici Lee

sexuality, we are doing a disservice to our children.

The Brutal Silence

communication about sexuality part of your relationship?

adolescents will be to engage in risky sexual behavior” (Guilamo-Romos et al. 2017).

understanding of who they are as they experience puberty and attraction.

Breaking the Silence

of a topic to not to about. Education and understanding is so vital when it comes to

don’t, they will learn it from an outside source.

feel comfortable talking to us?

the questions when they do come up.

● Keep it age appropriate, using words that they can understand.

secure with the people that are welcome in their homes.

topic that only parents can start a conversation about.

● How will you make your home a safe place?

Here are a couple of websites to check out to learn more!

Sharing your Experiences

K3hRHel88w/viewform​ (form is embedded in the blog)

Lesson Plan 2: The Use of Media

Why Does the Use of Media Matter?

media in our homes is important.

protecting our children and teaching them about healthy sexuality?

Read through the slideshow to learn more.

Eo/edit?usp=sharing​ (This Slideshow is embedded into the blog.)

Using Media Appropriately

monitoring this? Is this an invasion of their privacy?

A couple ways that we can monitor the use of electronic devices:

before they go to bed.

● Have filters on your internet.

make sure everything looks clean and safe.)

Protecting Your Family

environment. International Journal Of Evaluation And Research In Education, 6( 3),

64(Puberty and Adolescence), 280-287. doi:10.1016/j.yhbeh.2013.03.007

puberty timing: A systematic review and meta-analysis. International Journal of

Environmental Research and Public Health,14( 10), 1266. doi:10.3390/ijerph14101266

adolescent relationships. Child & Youth Care Forum, 46(1), 51-68.

K3hRHel88w/viewform (form is embedded in the blog)

Eo/edit?usp=sharing (This Slideshow is embedded into the blog.)

Talking about Puberty: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjWEoDFk9SI

Inside Puberty: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rsj6dW6qKRc

Birds and Bees Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9tb2KDVNlo

teaching children how to protect themselves from abuse. http://fightchildabuse.org