What is Emotional Intelligence?

Goleman's Five Concepts in Relation to Men, Women, and Their IQ

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 Mar 5, 2010
 Daya Bihm

 This article explains what emotional intelligence is, the five factors that define it, and how men
and women can differ in EQ.

 In society, one's intelligence quotient (IQ) is measured by academic knowledge, above-average grades,
and IQ tests. Emotional intelligence — known as EQ — however, is an ability that is learned in infancy
through positive caregivers, but isn’t recognized until grade school. In grade school, children use EQ
while interacting and communicating with others.
 Understanding Emotional Intelligence
 Emotional intelligence was introduced in the 1990s by two psychologists, John Mayer and Peter Salovey.
They define emotional intelligence as “the mental ability to reason with emotions to enhance thought
while promoting emotional and intellectual growth.” Mayer and Salovey developed a model to explain
the capacity of emotions, the ability to reason with them, understanding the emotion’s messages, and
the meanings that they project.
 The model was later expanded upon by Daniel Goleman, a science journalist and psychologist.
Goleman believed that EQ was the difference between mastery versus competence. Ability means
competence. The potential to learn it is seen in the work or training to determine its mastery. Due to this
thought, Goleman developed five concepts that each person attains, listed in his 1995
bestseller, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.

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 These concepts are personal or social in nature. They are self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation,
empathy, and social skill.
 The Five EQ Concepts Explained
 The concepts are based on the branch model first introduced by Mayer and Salovey in 1990. The
simplest abilities in the model are being able to perceive and express emotions. Non-verbal
communication, including facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice fall in this category. The
more difficult abilities concern reflecting and regulating those emotions.
 Self-awareness is explained as recognizing a feeling as it happens from moment to moment. People
with high levels of self-awareness can correlate their thoughts, feelings, and reactions, while
determining if those competencies are partly involved in making a decision. A person with high self-
awareness also recognizes their strengths and weaknesses and maintains a positive outlook.
 Managing emotions builds upon self-awareness. A person who knows how to manage their emotions
can handle them appropriately, while taking responsibility for the feeling. For example, if a person is
angry or upset, he or she recognizes it and takes responsibility for the actions that come with feeling
such an emotion.
 Empathy is known as the social skill. Empathy is based on the art of understanding others’ feelings and
respecting how they feel. Relationships fall under this category. A good relationship requires being a good
listener, asking and imitating questions, learning how to cooperate, handling conflict, and negotiating compromise.

In the 1920s, an American psychologist defined empathy as “motor mimicry.” E. B. Titchener believed that the
concept stemmed from a physical imitation of the distress of another, while evoking the same feelings in his or
herself. Children learn empathy in infancy by their caregivers through the positive emotions the caregivers display
to them.

Motivation is defined as “the limits of our capacity to use our innate mental abilities.” Motivation is a key indicator
of how well people do in life. The concept allows people to accomplish things and affects how all other abilities
are viewed. Impulse is under the motivation category. Impulse indicates a person’s self-control and explains their
behavior.

Social skills are the most important of the five concepts. Social skills indicate a person’s view of self and how they
interact with others. Competencies such as popularity, leadership, and interpersonal skills fall in this category.
People with great social skills communicate well, influence others, initiate change, and know how to work with
others as a team-player.

IQ and High and Low EQ

According to psychologist John Mayer, emotional intelligence is a matter of a person’s “social effectiveness.” Men
and women both handle emotional intelligence in different ways. A person with a high IQ have many intellectual
interests and abilities. This person is productive and ambitious. However, the individual may tend to be critical
and unaware of how others feel. A man with high emotional intelligence is outgoing and cheerful, committed to
others and causes, and accepts responsibility for himself and his feelings.

On the other hand, women with a high IQ tend to worry and say what they think. High emotional intelligence is
displayed in the individual's positive outlook for life and self, as well as her assertiveness. Women with high
emotional intelligence rarely have feelings of anxiety or guilt and are able to adapt to stress better.

Mayer suggests a person wanting to increase their own level of emotional intelligence to look at his or her own
social effectiveness. Maintaining positive relationships and living a clean life are more self-confident and
persuasive to others. This type of person can help people with low emotional intelligence to attain a higher level
of EQ by example.

Emotional intelligence continues to receive more recognition since its 1990s introduction. Many people have used
the two psychologists’ model in an effort to understand how people communicate. The five concept skills allow a
person to recognize his or her own level of emotional intelligence, while also recognizing how the opposite sex
can differ.

Sources:

Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence: Why it Can Matter More Than IQ. New York, NY: Bantam Books, 1995.
xv, 43-45, 98. Print.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

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