Mariah Jessen

ESL 6063
Assignment 8

Examining a Student Paper

The guiding principles that I kept in mind as I was leaving comments was Ferris &

Hedgcock’s (2014) suggestions that “the teacher should be selective in providing written

feedback” and that the feedback should include both praise and encouragement (p. 242). These

principles stood out to me because our students, as per Ferris & Hedgcock (2014) and

Christiansen & Bloch (2016), put great value on teacher feedback and we need to write in a way

that encourages them to improve their texts instead of getting upset or frustrated. While my

feedback practices were not coded as was seen in Christiansen & Bloch (2016), I did try to give

concrete or “text-specific” examples of how they could change something and/or what I liked

(Ferris & Hedgcock, 2014, p. 247). Another guiding principle I used came from Casanave (2017)

pertaining to issues with plagiarism. Since it is such a sensitive and important aspect in English

academic writing, I felt it was important to ask the student to review the citation practices for

APA (the form I chose to use for this paper, but could be any of the others) even though it is

early on in the writing process. According to Casanave (2017) using sources in our writing is “a

staggering multi-faceted task, actually, one that does not come naturally or quickly to anyone…”

and therefore is not something that the students will be able to quickly learn (p. 186).

The greatest struggle I had with writing comments for this student’s paper, was deciding

what kind of language I should use. I tended to try to use medium level language, however, that

may actually be a disservice to my student as other professors in different L1 dominated fields,

may not give them the same consideration. This concept leads me to my greatest concern for

responding effectively to students writing in the future. How can I be sure that I am giving them

feedback in an authentic, yet sensitive way that will benefit them in their major studies? I am
Mariah Jessen
ESL 6063
Assignment 8

aware that I could try and get the different departments together and discuss what it is they are

looking for in their papers, however, that may not be possible or may not be something the other

professors care to have a meeting about. What do I do then?

Another struggle I had was deciding how much to comment on issues within the text. The

guidelines I gave myself helped, but I still found myself unsure of what to leave comments on. I

wanted the student to focus more on the macro aspects since this was to be a paper that will be

revised for later viewing, but I also wanted them to be conscious of some of the micro issues that

they will need to address for the final draft. Since I was rather explicit in the end note, I did not

make as many marginal comments as I might have if I didn’t write the end note. A question I

would have pertaining to this issue is, “How do you know when you have provided just enough

of the appropriate comments?” Is it simply something you have to learn through trial and error

over time?
Mariah Jessen
ESL 6063
Assignment 8

Resources

Casanave, C. P. (2017). Writing from Sources/Plagiarism. ​Controversies in second language

writing: Dilemmas and decisions in research and instruction (​ 2nd ed, pp. 184-213).

University of Michigan Press.

Christiansen, M., & Bloch, J. (2016). ​“Papers are never finished, just abandoned”: The role of

written teacher comments in the revision process.​ Journal of Response to Writing, 2(1),

p. 6-42.

Ferris, R., D. & Hedgcock, S., J. (2014). Response to Student Writing. ​Teaching ESL

composition: Purpose, process, and practice​ (3​rd​ ed, pp.196-236). Routledge.

Mariah Jessen
ESL 6063
Assignment 8

Appendix

Appendix A
Comments on Student Writing
Mariah Jessen
ESL 6063
Assignment 8
Mariah Jessen
ESL 6063
Assignment 8
Mariah Jessen
ESL 6063
Assignment 8

Designing a Peer Response Task

Background Information:

I would spend time in class using the guiding questions, provided at the end of the

handout, to help train students how to leave constructive feedback about the elements of concern

for this draft which will be laid out in detail. The in class instruction for practice could take 30

minutes to an hour to complete. Then the following handout for the activity will be assigned.

Handout:

We will be engaging in peer response activities throughout the course of this semester at

several different stages of the writing process. My hope is you will learn how to analyze your

own and others writing more effectively and efficiently. In addition, I hope this will help you feel

like an active participate in a conversation when you write. Each activity will come with a

guideline sheet, much like this one.

For this first peer response activity, I will divide you into groups of three that you will

remain partnered with for the duration of this paper. In all parts of this activity, you will be

expected to:

● Make constructive, but honest feedback (don’t be overly polite as you nor the

writer will learn from this). Find at least 2 positive things (or things you like about

the paper) and at least 2 things you think your classmate could improve. While we

want to know what we have done wrong or could do better on a paper, we always

like to know what we did well also. It doesn’t have to be anything big (it could

simply be their topic choice) just make sure you are being genuine.
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ESL 6063
Assignment 8

● Engage in a conversation during selected class time to clarify any questions you

or the writer may have about your comments and/or the writing (You must be

present on in class on feedback days to earn full points for this part of the project)

● Make comments on higher order concerns such as the development of their

argument, construction of the introduction and conclusion, electra (see last page

for guiding questions to help you achieve this).

● Allow all members a chance to discuss their comments

● Do not make comments on grammar or spelling at this time unless it prevents

your ability to understand what they have written.

Once you have completed your first draft in response to the “Violent Essay Lands Boy in Jail”

news article, you will email it to your partners. Once you have received your classmates papers,

you will begin the peer feedback process.

Please use the following guiding questions and topics to direct your comments:

1. Clear thesis statement/position taken:​ What side does the author take on this topic? Does

it remain the same throughout the paper? How do you know what side the author takes

(evidence the author provides)?

2. Supporting details:​ W
​ hat examples are given to support their side? Are the examples

well thought out and easy to understand? Do they need more/less examples? How to they

connect these examples to their position/thesis statement? Are the examples properly

used in their paper?

Mariah Jessen
ESL 6063
Assignment 8

3. Source Materials:​ A
​ re appropriate sources used, either the article provided, other

articles, or personal experience? Are the sources relevant to the position/thesis statement?

Are there better articles/experiences that could be used?

4. Introduction/Conclusion:​ ​Does the introduction clearly state their position/thesis? Does

it clearly identify the same examples they write about in the following paragraphs? Does

the conclusion summarize the author’s thoughts? Does it connect back to the examples

and thesis statement previously presented?

Once you have completed this, email your comments back to your partners and to me through

Blackboard.

In Class:

I will give you 30 minutes of class time to get in your groups and talk about the comments made

on each other’s paper. I will also come around to assist you and/or to listen to your conversations

for awhile. Once this is completed, it is up to you, as the author of your paper, to decide what

comments you could and should consider and which comments you can disregard.