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“There’s nothing I can do about it; I’m in despair,” can often be heard even from those
parishioners whose experience in the Church has already enabled them to cope with
many other internal problems. Melancholy, defeatism, mood swings, chronic fatigue
from self and circumstances—it seems this is characteristic of believers of modern
times moreso than of any other. But it’s worth it to remember that the saints
experienced the same feelings—several—for example, St. Tikhon of Zadonsk.
Amidst devastation
In April 1758, Timothy Sokolovskii was tonsured in monasticism with the name Tikhon.
After his tonsure, he was called to St. Petersburg and ordained as a hieromonk, then was
deputy abbot of a number of monasteries. In 1763 in Novgorod, where his spiritual path
had begun, Archimandrite Tikhon was endowed with the hierarchical dignity, and was
almost immediately appointed to the diocese of Voronezh.
The cathedral city left a painful impression on the bishop: The church buildings astounded
him with their dilapidation, and the Church life with its neglect. In the large diocese—
from Voronezh to the Black Sea—the shortage of clergy was felt, and the population,
dispersed throughout the plains, was ignorant and superstitious. The archpastor had to
embrace the care of over 800 churches. Can a mortal man have such strength?
The untiring fulfillment of his duties led to a total breakdown of the hierarch’s nervous
system. He almost couldn’t serve out of dizziness, shaky hands, and fainting. Having
realized that his failing health would not be restored, Bishop Tikhon wrote a petition to
the Holy Synod to retire. They refused him, advising him to seek more intensive
treatment, and Vladyka found himself in a desperate situation. Having the habit of
obedience, he continued to labor until insomnia and frequent rushes of blood to his head
made it impossible for him not only to serve the Liturgy, but to fulfill his duties in ruling
the diocese in general. Then, by order of the empress, he was sent out of state. The Holy
Transfiguration Tolshevsk Monastery became his new place of residence, and then he
resettled in the Zadonsk Monastery of the Theotokos, sixty miles from Voronezh. There
the ascetic wrote books produced by the fruit of his contemplations on eternity and on
people: A Spiritual Treasure Collected From the World and On True Christianity.
The only path—to serve people
In his years spent in retirement, at times a heavy, restless state of soul would forcefully
grip the saint. The ascetic was grieved that he labored little for the Church. Clean air and
rest from nervous overload markedly strengthened his ruined health which caused him to
leave the activities of a bishop at the relatively young age of forty-three. Now, his solitude
and leisure in the unhurried living of the monastery seemed more burdensome than any
work to his soul so full of strength; the holy hierarch was all the more enveloped by a
gloomy tedium, impelling him to seek activity beyond the monastery walls. But his
departure did not pan out, and the words of the simple but respected-in-the-monastery
Elder Aaron—“The Mother of God does not will him (Bishop Tikhon—Ed.) to leave”—
prompted the bishop to tear up his already-written petition to return to his work.
This period of life—uncertain and quite slow externally—was one of the most important
in the life of the saint. It was a time of desperate and total battle with his thoughts, of
overcoming the spirit of melancholy, despair, and despondency, and of a reassessment of
his life circumstances; in the end, his soul acquired the priceless experience of
overcoming, and with that the boldness to comfort the despairing, those experiencing a
loss of the meaning of their existence, and those perishing in gloomy uncertainty. The
retired bishop decided not to try to change his current position anymore, inwardly coming
to the conclusion that his sole path to deliverance from melancholy was in serving people
in that place and situation in which he found himself, and in wholly devoting himself to
spiritual works and bodily mercy.
The saint would often appear in the monastery courtyard under the guise of a simple monk
and start conversations with the local residents and pilgrims. The people, seeing an
ordinary monk before them, would directly open their needs to him, and would
unexpectedly receive material aid. The merciful Vladyka’s fame grew, and in time the
poor began to go to his cell themselves. The archpastor was no less involved in the lives
of the suffering and the sick. In the small house where he lived, he organized a type of
hospital for those who contracted any kind of illness on the way to work or on pilgrimage.
He also offered spiritual alms, tearfully praying for the needs and illnesses of those closely
and not so closely known by him. Once, Vladyka’s seriously ill former acolyte came to
him to bid farewell. “Go, and God will have mercy upon you”—the Zadonsk ascetic
emotionally bid him farewell. At this, the sick man was not only comforted, but after a
while he even completely recovered by the prayers of the beloved saint. Vladyka’s cell
attendant Ioann Efimov, relating this incident to biographers, concluded his description
with the words, “He [Bishop Tikhon—Ed.] bore within himself a great and living faith,
and the Lord God listened to him in many situations.”