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Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING  1 

 
 
 

How Child Development Relates to Using Voice in Essay Writing: 

A 5th Grade Classroom Lesson Study Cycle 

Hanna Grace Galario, Naomi Hernandez-Hama,  

Amanda Kinne, Rosemarie Luna, & Naturalee Puou 

University of Hawaiʻi – West Oahu 


 
 
 
 

 
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Abstract  

Good  writers  use  voice  to  “show”  themselves  in  their  writing  and  can  turn  reading  into  a 

conversation  with  the  audience.  Regardless  of  a  composition’s  genre  or  the  medium  through 

which  readers  engage  with  a  text,  voice  is  what  connects  readers  to  a  human  composer.  But 

teaching  students  to  incorporate  voice  into  their  writing  can  be one of the most difficult tasks for 

writing  teachers,  especially  during  the  secondary  grade  levels  where  students  have  formed  a 

dependency  upon  frameworks  and  prescribed structures from previous writing experiences to get 

through  an  assignment.  Voice  is  all  but  neglected  in  student  compositions.  With  this  in  mind, 

providing  opportunities  for  students  during  the  primary  grade  levels  to  learn  about,  find,  and 

develop  their  writer’s  voice  may  help  to  ensure  that  it  is  included  in  their  writing  as  they  get 

older.  Focusing  on  the  developmental  needs  of  the  child  during the elementary years, this lesson 

study  research  project seeks to understand how social and emotional learning can impact voice in 

student writing.    

 
Keywords: voice, develop, writing, social, emotional 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Introduction 
 
This  lesson  study  focus  on  developing student voice in narrative writing was settled upon 

because  all  student  teachers  (ST)  were  teaching personal narrative units across their various field 

classrooms  at  the  onset  of  research.  The  research  group consists of five elementary STs, and one 

secondary.  A  common  concern  for  all  was  the  lack  of  voice  and  authenticity  they  saw  in  their 

students’  writing.  This  research  paper  seeks  to  understand  how  social  and  emotional  learning 

during  the  primary  grade  levels  can  help  students  learn  about,  find,  and  develop  their  writer’s 

voice.  The  most  common  explanation  of  “voice”  in  writing  is  that  it  is  the  unique  personality, 

point  of  view,  or  style  of  the  individual  writer.  In  a  lesson  study,  colleagues  collaborate  on  a 

learning  goal;  conduct  research  and  develop  a  lesson;  deliver the lesson under the observation of 

the  RG  in  a  real  classroom;  debrief  on  the  lesson  following  delivery;  and  apply  instructional 

adjustments  to a second round of the lesson taught to different students. Lesson studies cycles are 

comprehensive  professional  development  for  educators,  and sometimes entire schools. that some 

schools practice all for the sake of improving instructional practices and student learning.  

A  lesson  study  on  child  development  as  it  relates  to  voice  in  writing  may  help  gain 

instructional  insight  on  how  pre-service  teachers  can  group,  engage,  and  assess  students  on  a 

collaborative  writing  assignment  intended  to  improve  student  voice.  A literature review will first 

discuss  child  development,  including  social  and  emotional  learning  during  the  concrete 

operational  stage.  It  will  then  explore  strategies  for  teaching  voice  in  elementary,  including  the 

benefits  of collaborative writing. The methodology section will detail the lesson planning process 

and  research-guided  decisions  made  throughout  the  lesson  study  cycle  for  student  grouping, 

engagement,  and  assessments  of  learning.  A  section  on  results  and  findings  offers an analysis of 
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the  RG’s  observations and assessment data. Finally, the research paper concludes with reflections 

on the study’s impact on STs’ instructional practices in future lessons.  

Review of Literature 

Development Stage 

According  to  Robert  Salvin  (2014)  author  of  Educational  psychology:  Theory  and 

practice,  children  between  ages  7-11  years  old are classified under Piaget's’ concrete operational 

stage  of  cognitive  development  (Salvin,  2014,  p.  34).  The  staged  is  marked  by  reduced 

egocentrism  as  children  develop  an  awareness  of  differences  in  the  feelings,  thoughts,  and 

outlooks  of  their  peers.  Applying  Piaget’s  Theory  of  Cognitive  Development  to  Mathematics 

Instruction  (Ojose,  2005)  further  reports  that  “language  and acquisition of basic skills accelerate 

dramatically.  Children  at  this  stage  utilize  their  senses  in  order  to  know”  (p  .2).  Children’s 

manipulation  of  systems  and  symbols  help  to  form  the  basis  of  logical  thinking,  which 

significantly  grows  during  the  concrete  operational  stage  (Wood,  Smith,  &  Grossniklaus,  2001), 

but  abstract  concepts  and  ideas  may  still  remain  a  challenge.  As  teaching  such  an  abstract 

concept  as  voice  to writers at this stage may prove difficult, Wood, Smith, & Grossniklaus (2001) 

encourage  the  use  of  visual  aids  and  brain  teasers  as  a  means  of  educational  engagement. 

Social-Emotional Development 

Positive  youth  development  seeks  to  empower  students  in  the  building  of  skills  and 

accumulation  of  assets,  including  the  building  of  positive  relationships.  According to Dr. Tracey 

Bennett,  author  of  article  “Dr.  Bennett's  Developmental  Psychology  Crash  Course  (ages  7-11 

years),”  children  during  the  concrete  operational  stage  start  to  develop  awareness  of  others  own 

thoughts.  In  other  words,  a  child  is  aware  that  their  understandings  and  feelings  may  not  be  the 
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same  among  their  peers.  Bennett  (2018)  also  states  that  a  child  begins  to  realize  that  even  the 

intentions  of  their  peers  are  different  from  those  of  their  own.  Children  during  the  concrete 

operational  stage  are  also  able  to  come  to  conclusions  on  how  one  might  react  to  their  own 

actions.  

Wood,  Smith,  &  Grossniklaus  (2001)  remind  that  criticisms  of  Piaget’s  theory  arose 

during  the  60’s  and  70’s,  which  point  to  his  underestimation  of  children’s ability. Piaget implied 

that  thinking  would  be  the  same  across  tasks,  however,  later  research  has  shown  that 

similarly-aged  children  can  display  a  diverse  range  of  cognitive  abilities  (Wood,  Smith,  & 

Grossniklaus,  2001).  This  is  largely  based  on  the  varying  experiences  they  have  outside  of 

school.  Such  varying  experiences  may  also  attribute  to  varying  abilities  to  access  voice  in 

writing.  Roberts,  Blanch,  &  Gurjar  (2017)  explain  that  when  working  in  groups,  peers  set 

performance  benchmarks  for  one  another  in  their  individual  levels  of  accomplishment.  This 

suggests  that  collaborative  writing  may  provide  opportunities  for  social  and  emotional  learning 

when strategically structured.   

Strategies For Teaching Voice  

  There  are  different  strategies  that  are  being  used  within  the  classroom  to  help  build 

students  voice  within  their  writing.  For  example,  one strategy that is beneficial is allowing social 

interactions  among  students  and  their  peers.  According  to  the  research  of  Kelser  Ted  (2012) 

“Writing  With  Voice”,  he  shares  how  social  interactions  in  classrooms  enables  students  to 

develop  as  writers and impact voice within their writing. Voice is an important trait of writing for 

it  makes  the  quality  of  an  individual’s  writing  engaging.  In  writing,  voice  conveys  the  writer’s 

unique  attitude,  personality,  and  character.  However,  developing  strong  writing  voices  is  not  a 
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solitary  skill  as  it  is  known  but  rather  dialogic.  Ted  states  that  “a  writer’s  voice  is  not  created 

solely  out  of the depths of his or her individuality. Rather it is constructed out of the voices of the 

individuals  and  communities”  (Kelser,  2012). In creating dialogic interaction during writing time 

he  states  that  “learning  to  write  is  about  learning  to  be  in a particular kind of interaction --- with 

other  writers  and  with  readers  ---  and  not  just  about  a  display  of skills” (Kelser, 2012). Lastly, it 

provides  students  collaborative  opportunities  that  would  be  missed  by  working  alone.  Overall, 

through  this  process  of  encountering  in  dialogue  and  social  interaction  helps  develop  their  own 

voice and learn ways of being with others as themselves and being as writers.  

Another  research  strategy  that  is  being  used  within  the  classroom  to  help  build  students 

voice  in  writing  is  allowing  the  freedom  of  choice.  According  to  “A  Case  Study  Observing  the 

Development  of  Primary  Children's  Composing,  Spelling,  and  Motor  Behaviors  during  the 

Writing  Process”  by  Graves,  Donald  H  (1982),  a  two  year  study  was  done  within  a  New 

Hampshire  School,  among  16  children  from  five  different  classrooms.  Research  data  focused on 

the  observations  of  what  primary  students  did  when  it  came  to  writing.  According  to  Graves 

(1982),  allowing  student  choice  can  help  increase  student  voice  within  their  writing.  Graves 

states  that  “Teachers  Should  Let Children Choose About 80% of Their Topics Because It-Assists 

Them  with  voice,  heightens  semantic  domain,  skill  of-narrowing  topic,  and  basic  decision  - 

Making.  (Graves,  1982,  p.  34).  Observations  of  allowing  students  to  choose  a  topic  helped 

increase  a  better  understanding  of  what  to  write,  an  increase  in  writing  quality  and  lastly 

observations showed students developing new writing concepts.  

Aukerman  &  Chambers  Schuldt  (2016)  extend  upon  previous  research  suggestions  that 

educators  encourage  the  simultaneous  engagement  of  images  with  texts,  as  the  two  are effective 
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in  constructing  texting  meaning.  In  developing  an  understanding  of  an  abstract  concept  such  as 

voice, images offer students a concrete basis to write from and can act as powerful prompts. 

Collaborative Writing 

According  to  Tanju  Deveci  (2018),  author  of  Student  Perceptions  on  Collaborative 

Writing  in  a  Project-based  Course,  collaborative  writing  can  be  defined  as  “an  assignment  in 

which  students  work  together  from  start  to  finish,  producing  a  single  paper  from  the  group”  (p. 

2).  Roberts,  Blanch,  &  Gurjar  (2017)  rely  heavily  upon  Vopat’s  (2009)  Writing  Circles:  Kids 

Revolutionize Workshop in their description of collaborative writing, in which circles are “formed 

at  the  very  onset  of  the  writing  process  and  involve  five  to  seven  members  from  prewriting 

through  sharing  and  publication as young authors write collaboratively on the same piece (Vopat, 

2009).  The  purpose  of  collaborative  writing  activities is to provide students with opportunities to 

help  each  other  become  better  writers.  Choice  and  roles  within  the  group  seem  to  motivate 

participants  in  writing  circles,  according  to  Roberts,  Blanch,  &  Gurjar  (2017).  In  working  with 

students  who  are  just  beginning  to  develop  abstract  thinking,  collaborative  learning  provides 

students  with  exposure  to  the  diverse  thinking of their peers. Furthermore, working with peers in 

a  group  can  offer  positive  motivation  because  students  implicitly  set  benchmarks  for  each  other 

as they work together (Roberts, Blanch, & Gurjar, 2017). 

Benefits of Collaborative Writing 

Collaborative  writing  allows  the  opportunity  for  students  to  become  engaged  with  the 

lesson  and  benefit  in  social  interactions  among  their  peers.  Within  the  research  work  of  Deveci 

(2018),  he  shares  some  of  the  social  benefits  of  collaborative  writing.  For  example,  the  social 

beneficial  aspect  of  collaborative  writing  allows  students  to  take  a  step  back  and gain an outside 
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perspective  other  than  their  own  when  it  comes  to  the  understanding  the  content  and  assigned 

task.  Deveci  states  that  students  who  participate  in  collaborative  writing  “improve  their 

vocabulary,  understanding  of  text  coherence,  and  gain  new  ideas  and  perspectives”  (Deveci, 

2018, p. 2). 

Case  studies  have  also  been  done  in  the  past  to  help  provide  evidential  data  on  the 

benefits  of  collaborative  writing  among  students.  Such  as,  according  to  Barbara  Clarke  and 

Wendy  Kastan,  the  authors of “A Study of 3rd and 5th Grade Students' Oral Language during the 

Writing  Process  in  Elementary  Classrooms,”  the  data  collected  from  seven  5th  graders  and  3rd 

graders  shows  a  positive  impact  on  student  writing  when  collaboration is taking place compared 

to  students  independently  working.  According  to  the  authors,  “Oral language plays an important 

role  in  the writing process” (Clarke & Kastan, 1986). Benefits of collaboration during the writing 

process  includes  helping  students  with  their  intrapersonal  skills;  qualities  and  behaviors  one 

builds  within  interactions  with  others.  Collaboration  also  helps  with  the  students  thinking 

process;  identifying  what  to  write  about,  what  to  revise  etc.  Lastly  collaboration  can  help 

students enhance their understanding of what to do. Clarke and Kastan state;  

Findings  indicated  that  oral  language  plays  an  important  role  in  the  writing  process; 

specifically,  that  it  (1)  accompanies  writing  as an intrapersonal function, (2) helps writers 

think  about  and  revise  their text, (3) helps writers make decisions about what to write, (4) 

is  highly  related  to  writing  and  almost  entirely  on-task,  (5)  provides  opportunities  for 

collaboration  to  enhance  learning  opportunities,  and  (6)  helps  students  talk  about  and 

increase their understanding of the writing process (Clarke & Kastan, 1986). 

 
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Another  case  study  that  helps  provide  evidential  data  on  the  benefits  of  collaborative 

writing  among  students  was  done  by  Jonathan  Tudge  and  Paul  Winterhoff.  Within  their  case 

study  “Can  young  children  benefit  from  collaborative  problem  solving?  Tracing  the  effects  of 

partner  competence  and  feedback”,  Tudge and Winterhoff  found that “collaboration with a more 

competent  partner,  was  more  beneficial  than  working  alone  or  with  with  an  equally  competent 

partner”  (Tudge  &  Winterhoff,  1993).  A number of questions arose from this study, one focusing 

on  the  relations  between  social  and  cognitive  development  in  children  in  their  early  years  of 

school.  Tudge  and  Winterhoff  believe  that  there  is  no  question  that  social  factors  and  cognitive 

development  are  linked  in  complex  ways.  Piaget  and  Vygotsky  had different views on this topic. 

Piaget  (1932,  1977)  believed  that  “collaboration  between  peers  was  more  effective  than 

adult-child  collaboration”,  whereas  Vygotsky  (1987)  argued  that  “collaboration  required  the 

presence of a more competent partner, whether adult or child”. 

Methodology 

Participants 

Participants  of  the  two-part  lesson  study  were  20  August  Ahrens  Elementary  School 

students  from  a  5th  grade,  general  education  classroom.  8  were  female  and  12  were  male. 

Students  were  sorted  by  their  student  teacher  based  on  Iready  scores  and  behavior  to  form  two 

Groups,  A  and  B.  The  groups  were  heterogeneous,  and  at  least  one  student  has  a  history  of 

behavioral  challenges.  During  the  second part, also referred to as phase 2, of the lesson, Group B 

was  further  sorted into two groups of 5 by the ST conducting the lesson to ensure each group had 

a mixture of abilities for variety of voice.  

School Demographics 
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August  Ahrens  Elementary  is  located  in  Waipahu  and  is  part  of  the  Leeward  School 

District of Oahu. Based on the 2010 U.S Census, within the Waipahu School community the total 

population  was  60,305  people.  31.4%  of  students  graduated  high  school,  and  20.1%  of  students 

graduated  college.  August  Ahrens  Elementary  is  identified  as  a  Title  I  school  because  there  is  a 

high  percentage  of  students  who  come  from  low  income  families.  About  53.4%  of  students  at 

August Ahrens receives free or reduced lunches. 

During  the  2016-2017  school  year,  there  were  1,262  students  enrolled. The ethnicities of 

the  students  vary  from  black,  native  and  Pacific  Islander,  including  Kānaka,  White  and  Asian. 

The  dominant  ethnicity  of  the  student  body  is  Filipino.  About  84%  of  students  identified  as 

Filipino.  For  Special  Education  Programs,  about  80  (6.3%)  students  were  enrolled.  The  number 

of  students  with  limited  English  proficiency  was  235,  or  20%.  The  main  language  that  ELL 

students speak is either Tagalog or Ilocano. 

Based  on  the  Strive  HI  School  Performance  Report  for  the  year  2016-2017;  an  annual 

report  that  focuses  on  school  performance  data,  48%  of  students  have  meet  the  standards/are 

proficient  when  it  comes  to  the  state  assessment  in  Language  Arts.  The  percentage  shows  no 

change  from  the  previous  year.  As  for  Math,  the report shows 55%, which is a 6% increase from 

the previous year. For Science, the report shows 49%, a 5% increase from the previous year. 

Materials & Measurements 

Visual  images  from  The  Mysteries  of  Harris  Burdick  by  Chris  Van  Allsburg  (1984)  was 

used  in  both  phases  of  the lesson study as writing prompts. Each image is accompanied by a title 

and  single  caption.  The  images  in  Harris  Burdick  are  specifically  intended  to  inspire  creative 

thinking  in  their  readers,  as  the  images  are  abstract  and  provide  little  to  no  context  as to what is 
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happening  in  the  scenes.  Incorporating  visual  images  as  a  means  of  establishing  a  situation  for 

the  students  enabled  the  research  team to work towards fulfilling CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.W.5.3: 

Write  narratives  to  develop  real  or  imagined  experiences  or  events  using  effective  technique, 

descriptive  details,  and  clear  event  sequences.  Image  prompts  can  be  impactful  on  student 

writing.  Aukerman  &  Chambers  Schuldt  (2016)  extend  upon  previous  research  which  suggest 

that  educators  encourage  the  simultaneous  engagement  of  images  with  texts  in  lessons. The two 

are  effective  in  helping  students  construct  textual meaning. In developing an understanding of an 

abstract  concept  such  as  voice,  images offer students a concrete basis to write from, and can help 

with developing a response.   

A  circle  map  worksheet  with  sensory  vocabulary  was  issued  to  Group  B  in  phase  2 

(Appendix  H).  The  handout  featured  20  vocabulary  words  associated  with  4  of  the  5  human 

senses,  which  students  sorted  onto  a  circle map of the senses. Taste was excluded from the circle 

map  due  to  the  nature  of  the  images  and  writing activity, as taste was least likely to be used with 

the  prompts.  The  purpose of the worksheet was to help organize the students’ ideas when it came 

to  identifying  words  related  to  the  four  senses  of sight, hearing, touch, and smell. In phase 2, the 

research  group  decided  on  a  circle  map  because  August  Ahrens  students  are  familiar  with using 

circle  maps  for  pre-writing.  Furthermore,  the  focus  on  sensory  words  narrowed  the  lesson’s 

initial  focus  from  the  broad,  abstract  topic  of  voice,  to  using  writing  techniques  that  were 

developmentally  appropriate  for  students  who  are  just  learning  about  voice  in  narrative  writing. 

The  vocabulary  words  on  the  handout  were  selected  by  the  research  group  based  on  the  Harris 

Burdic  images  chosen  for  the  lesson.  The  circle  map  also  served  as  a  tool  for  measurement, 

specifically, a pre-assessment. 
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Rubrics  outlining  success  criteria  for  post-assessments  were  provided  to  the  participants 

in  both  phases.  The  purpose  of  each  rubric  was  to  clarify  expectations  of  participants’  written 

responses to the prompt. Appendixes G and I are the respective rubrics for Groups A and B. 

For  this research project, the RG relied on pre- and post-assessments for quantitative data, 

and  real-time  observation  notes  gathered  during  both  deliveries  of  the  lesson  to Groups A and B 

for  qualitative  data.  In  phase  1,  Group  A  was  administered  a  prompt  that  participants  needed  to 

compose  a  text  for  during  a  free  write  pre-assessment. A post-assessment was then administered 

after  direct  instruction  on  voice in writing using the Harris Burdick image prompts. The intent of 

the  pre-  and  post-assessments  were  to  measure  voice  in  writing  when  participants  write 

independently. 

In  phase  2,  Group  B  was  administered  the circle map worksheet with sensory vocabulary 

as  a  pre-assessment.  After  direct  instruction  on sensory language and its connection to voice, the 

Harris  Burdick  image  prompts  were  then  used  for  post-assessments,  however,  students 

collaborated  as  a  group  to  compose  one  narrative.  The  intent  of  the  post-assessment  was  to 

measure voice in writing when participants write collaboratively. 

During  both  phases,  specific  areas  were  observed  by  the  STs  of  the  RG  who  were  not 

delivering the lesson to participants for qualitative data gathering. Prior to conducting the lessons, 

the  RG  defined  the  areas  of  observation  for  this lesson study and developed an observation sheet 

to  guide  note-taking  during the lessons for the observing STs. The areas the RG chose to observe 

during  the  lessons  were  purpose,  engagement, and classroom and time management. These areas 

relate to either teacher instruction or student learning.  


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Alignment  to  the  learning  objective  throughout  the  lesson  was  defined  as  purpose  to  the 

research  group.  Observations  include  returning  to  the  learning  targets  and  essential  questions 

throughout  both  of  the  lessons,  ensuring  intention  behind  instructional  practices  are  relevant  to 

the  learning  goals,  and  that  participants  always  knew  the  purpose  of  the  lesson  as  well. 

Observations  on  engagement  include capturing the participants’ interests, responses to strategies, 

and what motivated them throughout the lesson. Classroom management observations focused on 

the  behavior  of  students,  compliance,  as  well  as  the  effectiveness  of  attention  getters.  Time 

management  observations  include  student  responses  to  directions,  movement  during  transitions, 

and  staying  within  time  limits  for  the  lesson.  Appendix  J  outlines  the  areas  of  observation  in 

greater detail, including what was specifically observed, accompanied by with notes. 

Design 
The  lesson  study  best  relates  to  a  between-group  design,  where  the  difference  between 

Group  A  and  B  is  the  condition  in  which  participants  completed  the  post-assessment.  Group  A 

participants  completed  an  individual  written  assessment,  although  they  had  choice  in  which 

station  to  sit  at  based  on  the  image  the  were  most  interested  in.  Group  B  participated  in  a 

collaborative  writing  effort  in  pre-sorted groups of 5. These two conditions were the independent 

variables.  Incorporating  group  work  into  phase  2  with  Group  B  required  structured 

implementation,  therefore  roles  were  created  by  the  RG, and students had choice in the role they 

would fulfill in each group.  

As  previously  stated,  collaborative  writing  is  beneficial.  It  allows  the  opportunity  for 

students  to  become  engaged  with  the  lesson  and  benefit  in  social interactions among their peers. 

Deveci (2018) explains that the social beneficial aspect of collaborative writing allows students to 

take  a  step  back  and  gain  an  outside  perspective  other  than  their  own  when  it  comes  to  the 
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understanding  the  content  and  assigned  task.  For  concrete  operational  learners,  collaborative 

learning  can  support  logical  thinking,  and  understanding  of  abstract  concepts  (like  voice),  and 

there  is  positive  impact  on  student  writing  when  collaboration  takes  place  compared  to  students 

independently  working  (Clarke  &  Kastan, 1986). Peer collaboration also exposes students to the 

different  voices  of  their  classmates,  sharpening  individual  awareness  to  how  others  think, act, or 

feel. It is for this reason that Group B was exposed to group work. 

The dependent variable in both phases were the standard-based grading levels, as 

determined by the 3-point grade rubrics. In comparing these scores between independent and 

collaborative writing post-assessments, the RG was able to determine the depth of impact that 

collaborative writing had on voice in student writing. The ST did not go over the rubric as a class 

during phase 1. Instead, participants of Group A read it independently, and referred back to it 

while completing the writing assignment on their own. To structure support for participants new 

to collaborative writing in phase 2 however, the ST reviewed the rubric as a class. 

Procedures 
Each  lesson  started  with  an  opening  introduction  to  the  focus  of  the  lesson,  including 

learning targets, and the agenda. An activity followed, to prime participants’ thinking about voice 

in  writing.  A  pre-assessment  is  included.  This  was  followed  by  direct  instruction,  then  a 

post-assessment.  

In  phase  1,  Group  A  was  given  10  minutes  to  create  a  composition starting with, “Dude, 

guess  what!”  The  free  writes  provided  pre-assessment  samples  of  student  voice  at  the  onset  of 

the  lesson,  and  a  basis  for  independent  student  writing  after  receiving  a  prompt  and  sample 

(provided by the ST). 


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The  activity  was  followed  by  a  whole-class  discussion on what makes writing interesting 

using  a  circle map on the overhead. One participant was able to provide “voice” as an example to 

add  to  the  map.  After  focusing  “what  makes  writing interesting” as the essential question for the 

lesson,  the  ST  introduced  the final activity: the Harris Burdic image prompts. The ST introduced 

the  activity,  modeled  an  example  of  what  students  were  expected  to  produce  based  off  of  an 

image,  then previewed the writing rubric. The ST explained that participants would have a choice 

to  sit  at  a  station  of  their  choosing,  based  on  the  image  that  interested  them  most  at  each  of  the 

stations.  After  giving  participants  time  to  write  their  narratives,  the  ST  asked  for  individual 

volunteers to allow for sharing.  

In  phase  2,  the  focus  was  narrowed  from  voice,  to  sensory  details  and  language  as  they 

relate  to  voice  in  writing.  During  the  introduction,  the  ST  explicitly  stated  to  participants  that 

sensory  details  added  richness  to  writing,  and  was  a  step  towards  developing  their  individual 

voices  in  writing.  Following this, the ST had an informal discussion about the 5 senses and asked 

participants  to  consider  and  share  with  a  partner  what  sense  they  might  be  able  to  live  without. 

The  circle  map  worksheet  with sensory vocabulary was then issued for students to independently 

complete.  Following  direct  instruction  on  sensory  details  and voice, the ST introduced the group 

activity,  split  the  Group  B  participants  into  smaller  groups  of  5,  and  explained the roles. The ST 

assigned  each  group  a  photo  in  response  to  time  management  observations  from  phase  1,  but 

maintained  student  choice  in  the  selection of roles. Discussion with peers was encouraged by the 

ST to make decisions on how the situation of their narrative should unfold. The RG took notes on 

participant  responses  and  discussions  while  they  worked  in  groups.  At  the  wrap-up,  the  ST 
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allowed  both  groups  to  present  their  narratives,  which  were  later  scored  by  the  RG  using  a  new 

rubric reflecting the refined focus of the lesson during phase 2.  

Results/Findings  

For  this  study,  the analysis focused on evaluating how students incorporates their voice in 

narrative  writing.  Process  for  each  lesson  were  different  but  the  students in Group A and Group 

B  were  given  a  pre-  and  post-  test  to  determine  and  measure if there is a significant difference in 

the  presence  of  voice  in  their  narrative  writing.  Two  writing  lessons  were  delivered  where  each 

has significant contributions to the data.   

First,  it  is  the field of study where the writing lesson was focused on independent writing. 

Students  were  assigned  free-write  with  a  writing  prompt  as  their  pre-assessment.  For  their 

post-assessment,  Group  A  were  given  the  freedom  to  choose  a  picture  with  starter  sentence  to 

create  and  write  their  own  story  incorporating  voice.  Group  A  students  writing,  both  pre-  and 

post-test, were graded independently using a 3-point rubric (See Appendix A). 

Second,  it  is  where  the  writing  with  voice  lesson  was  focused  and  conducted  to evaluate 

voice  in  collaborative  writing  incorporating sensory details. (Sight, Sound, Touch, Smell). Group 

B  were  given  pretest  independently  to  assess  senses  identification.  The  test  included  twenty 

sensory  vocabulary  words  (See  Appendix  B).  The  post-assessment  was  a  collaborative  writing 

activity  where  ten  students,  divided  into  two  groups, were assigned the same pictures that Group 

A  students  used  to  write their story. Writing was graded as group using also a 3-point rubric (See 

Appendix  C).  The  results  of  the assessments for both groups are reported in the following tables. 

Voice was successfully incorporated in all writing – independent and collaborative – results. 
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Table 1 shows the increase in all the students’ scores from their free write (pretest) to 

their final paper. Most of the scores improved after the lessons were taught about using voice in 

writing. The students had a range of increase from 1 point to 3 points. 

Analyzing Pre-Assessment and Post-Assessment Data (GROUP A) 


 
The pre-assessment data from Lesson Group A showed that: 
 
● 0% of the nine students scored 3/3 (0/9) 
● 33% of the nine students scored 2/3 (3/9) 
● 67% of the nine students scored 1/3 (6/9) 
 
The post-assessment data from Lesson Group A showed that: 
 
● 44% of the nine students scored 3/3 (4/9) 
● 22% of the nine students scored 2/3 (2/9) 
● 33% of the nine students scored 1/3 (3/9) 
 
Analyzing Pre-Assessment and Post-Assessment Data (GROUP B) 
 
The pre-assessment data from Lesson Group B showed that (independent work): 
 
● 0% of the ten students got MP (0/10) 
● 70% of the ten students got DP (7/10) 
● 30% of the ten students got WB (3/10) 
 
The post-assessment data from Lesson Group B showed that (group work): 
 
● 100 % of the 2 groups got 3/3 (2/2) 
 
Discussion/interpretation   

As mentioned earlier, from the pre-assessment handed out at the beginning of the school 

year, most of the students could not grasp the idea of what makes a narrative personal -- they 
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lacked voice in their writing. Based on the pre-assessment that was given to the class, many 

students were more or less listing the events of what the prompt was asking for (describe one 

thing interesting you did over summer break). According to the results and observations made, 

collaborative writing helps improve quality of writing (including voice) and encourages 

interpersonal skills and promotes creativity. All participants of the lesson study actively sat 

within each lesson to observe the instruction and students. Notes about observations made on 

both lesson cycles can be found in the table (see Appendix J).  

Purpose  

Purpose can be established as what is accomplished through intentional use. In a classroom 

setting, the purpose can be communicated as a ‘learning objective’ so that the students will know 

what they will learn from the lesson and what they are expected to do. The foundation for a 

schema building of concepts, information and skills are layed out when a purpose is clearly 

stated. 

After each lesson, our group had a debrief about what was observed immediately after; 

we discussed what worked and what did not seem to work. After the first study cycle, the main 

observations we noted under purpose was that there was a lot of intentional practices under use. 

These intentional practices included: addressing the learning target throughout the entirety of the 

lesson, having the students complete pre and post assessments with little redirection, and overall 

observing that the students were bringing out voice in their writing. 

During the second lesson cycle, the main observations noted under purpose also included 

intentional instruction that involved introducing clear expectations (especially on the 

pre-assessment), going over the rubric with the students, and using an exit slip. 
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Engagement 

Student engagement can be defined as the “degree of attention, curiosity, interest, 

optimism, and passion that students show when they are learning or being taught, which extends 

to the level of motivation they have to learn and progress in their education.” (Student 

Engagement Definition, 2016). 

What the group observed during lesson cycle A was that majority of the students were 

very engaged. The students were very excited about the overall lesson and were excited to share 

out their ideas. What the observers noticed during this lesson cycle was that most talkative 

students would sit together and over power the other group (two seperate groups). With this in 

mind, the group decided to arrange specific seating for the second lesson cycle to place talkative 

students with the quieter students.  

Overall, after splitting the students up objectively, the general observation of the students 

was that they were all engaged and were able to fairly complete the jobs they were each assigned. 

This was with the exception of the one student who struggles with behavior.  

Classroom Management 

Classroom Management can be defined as “the wide variety of skills and techniques that 

teachers use to keep students organized, focused, attentive, on task, and academically productive 

during a class.” (Classroom Management Definition, 2014).  

The main classroom management strategy that was observed for the first lesson study 

cycle was the use of incentives. What the group noticed overall was that students became a lot 

more engaged and excited when a reward to presented to them. For this particular classroom, a 

management strategy the students were already used to was the use of a pebble reward system. 
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Utilizing this strategy was effective as the students continued to participate and stay engaged 

throughout the lesson, especially when an incentive was presented. 

Another classroom management strategy used was attention getters. This management 

strategy was observed in both lesson study cycles. For the first lesson cycle, the teacher would 

sing a familiar tune and would have the students finish off the tune. During the second lesson 

cycle, the teacher would say “Stop, Eyes on Me”. With these two strategies, the students were 

responsive and would give their attention to the teachers. It was observed that during the second 

lesson study cycle, the students were quicker to give their attention-- one reason for this result 

could be because of the objective seating chart created before giving the lesson.  

All in all, it was observed that management was not an issue as both teachers teaching the 

lesson had good classroom management strategies and would continue to walk around and watch 

over every student.  

Time Management  

Time management can be described as the process of organizing and planning how to 

divide your time between specific activities (Time Management, 2018). For both lesson study 

cycles, both teachers were able to complete all activities on time and smooth transitioning and 

flow. The overall result, as the group observed, was a well managed and meaningful lesson where 

the students did not feel rushed nor bored.  

Conclusion  

Allowing this lesson study process to be done in a group was really beneficial we got to 

see different perspectives on our two lessons. Soon after the first lesson cycle was taught, we 

participated in a group discussion where we talked about what went good, and what we needed 
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to improve on for the next cycle. This really benefited us for our second lesson study cycle 

because we knew exactly what we wanted to improve on. And we knew for a fact that these were 

valuable improvements because we seen them being taught in the first cycle.  

Based on our findings throughout this lesson study, we used many different teaching 

strategies such as guided instruction, whole group learning, independent work, and finally, 

collaborative work. By incorporating voice in students’ writing, we hope to appeal to all types of 

learning styles, and especially engaging them in learning process. We hope that every student 

will make the connection between voice and writing so that every piece they create, is unique in 

their own way.  

Personal Perspective  

During the lesson study process I was a bit nervous to work with the group I was 

assigned. This was only because I never really got to work with some of my group members and 

I was concerned on what problems we were going to face. Working together with this specific 

group, I have learned that communication and relying on each other is a big factor that helped 

our lesson study process run more smoothly than expected.  

In the beginning of our lesson study process our group had to determine which class we 

wanted to do our lesson study on. At this time, we all agreed that we were going to teach our 

lessons within a intermediate grade level. When I got home that day, I started to feel concerned 

because I realized the majority of us in the group were elementary educators, thus we may or 

may not have experience teaching the upper grade levels. At first I felt like I shouldn’t speak out 

my concerns with the group because the decision was already made, but the next class I did and I 

wasn’t the only one that felt this way. From this experience I have learned to always speak my 
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concerns because others might feel the same way. Also I have learned that expressing your 

concerns could help provide opportunities to stop and think about other options before making a 

final decision. As a group we all then agreed to do our lesson study with a 5th grade class.  

Throughout the semester my group and I worked on our lesson study in class and decided 

to meet outside of class too. During the planning of our lessons and papers we originally 

assigned specific tasks for each group member to do. As we were working on our sections, we all 

realized that it was better to work together and help each other so that more ideas can contribute 

to the work. I think this worked within our group because the work we each contributed made 

our work better. To be specific, I was assigned to do the Literature Review. After completing the 

first draft of the Literature Review and gaining Dr.Kamai’s feedback we all decided to find our 

own research on a specific topic to add to the paper. After submitting our second draft of our 

Literature Review, Dr. Kamai was very impressed on the improvements made and even shared 

our paper with the Librarian and the other lesson study group.  

For the most part my experience working within the lesson study group was a positive 

experience. I think having different perspectives on some topics during planning only helped 

make our lessons more effective. I did think the lesson study process was not easy because our 

group had to constantly change our ideas of our lessons in order to help improve it. But, overall 

with this experience, it has helped me become a better educator. Particularly this experience 

helped me become a better communicator and has helped me build more trust with others when it 

comes to getting things done. 

 
 
 
 
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Appendix A: Table 1 - Group A Pre- and Posttest Writing Results (Out of 3 points) 
 
   Pretest  Posttest 
Free write  Say It with Voice! 
  

GROUP A        

Student 1 (M)  -  - 

Student 2 (A)  1  3 

Student 3 (I)  2  3 

Student 4 (E)  1  1 

Student 5 (A)  2  3 

Student 6 (H)  1  3 

Student 7 (J)  1  1 

Student 8 (K)  1  2 

Student 9 (F)  2  1 

Student 10 (S)  1  2 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Appendix B: Table 2 - Group B Pretest Results 


 
   Pretest 
Match Your Senses!  

Student 1 M  DP  

Student 2 J  DP 

Student 3 D  DP  

Student 4 A  WB 

Student 5 S  DP  

Student 6 T  WB 

Student 7 J  DP  

Student 8 S  DP  

Student 9 I  WB 

Student 10 P  DP  

Student 11 C  absent 
 
Breakdown of Grading 

ME  Meets with Excellence 

MP  Meet with Proficiency 

DP  Developing Proficiency 

WB  Well Below Proficient 


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Appendix C: Table 3 - Group B Posttest Results 


 
   Posttest 
Collaborative Writing  

Group 1  3 

Group 2  3 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Appendix D:  

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Appendix E: 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Appendix F: 

 
 
 
 
 
 
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Appendix G: 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Appendix H: 
 

 
 
Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING  31 

Appendix I: 
 

 
 
 
 
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Appendix J: 
 
 
Area of  Points Needed To Observe   Notes: What We Observed  Notes: What We Observed 
Observation   (Lesson A)   (Lesson B) 

Purpose    ● Lesson targets were  ● Lesson targets were 


  ● Alignment to objective  addressed and reviewed  addressed but not in 
  ● Able to follow the  throughout the lesson  the beginning 
  prompt  ● Students were able to  ● Students was able to 
  ● Recapping learning  complete pre and post test  grasped the idea of 
   target  with a few questions and  voice in their writing 
● State and go back to  repeated directions   ● Introduction to 5 
● Essential Question  ● Students were able to bring  senses  
  out voice within their  ● Clear expectations with 
writing   the pre-assessment. 
  Students had a few 
questions on certain 
words but Ms. 
Hernandez helped 
provide examples. 
Students were then 
able to put words in 
right section of the 
map  
● Went over the writing 
rubric 
● What they learned was 
used as an exit slip 
(sticky notes) 

Classroom  ● Fluidity  ● Attention Getters:   Attention Getters:  


Management  ● Behavior of students  ○ Da-dada-da-da  ● Use “Stop, Eyes on 
● Pacing  ○ Class pebbles  Me” 
● Attention getters  (Students were  ● Walking around to talk 
● Compliance  excited/engaged to 
to students  
get pebbles) 
○  

Times    ● Specific amount to have  ● Specific amount to 


Management   ● Transitions  students do a task was stated  have students do a task 
● Start and finish on time  ● Students finished on time   we stated 
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● Fluidity  ● Students finished on 


● Pacing  time  
● Transitions were given 
and used effectively 

Engagement   ● Were the students  ● Pre-test Quick Write,  ● Talkative students were 
paying attention?  students was engaged,  split up. 
● Student conversations  having fun. Students were  ● Students were engaged 
● Student responses to  and was able to 
excited to share 
questions  complete job tasks for 
● Student responses to  ● 1 Group was more talkative  their roles  
directions  than the other group   ● One student was 
● Participation    disengaged 
● Type of work being  ○ He was off to 
done, produced 
the side 
● Side conversations 
(off-task) 
● External distractions 
● Motivators 
● Superstars & 
Wallflowers 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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