School Counselor: Paige Sparkman

Activity: Love is KIND: A lesson on healthy

relationships
Grade(s): middle school, grade 8

ASCA Student Standards addressed:

● PS:A1.1 – Develop positive attitudes toward self as a unique and worthy person
● PS:A1.5 – Identify and express feelings
● PS:A1.6 – Distinguish between appropriate and inappropriate behavior
● PS:A2.6 – Use effective communication skills
● PS:C1.4 – Demonstrate the ability to set boundaries
● PS:C1.7 – Apply effective problem-solving and decision-making skills to make safe and
healthy decisions

Learning Objective(s)/ goal:

1. Distinguish between healthy and unhealthy relationships: Identifying how he or she
would like to be treated in a romantic relationship and be able to identify warning signs
that a relationship is potentially unhealthy or abusive.
2. Recognize the positive and negative signs/behaviors of a relationship
3. Healthy expression of feelings/ effective communication
4. Value self to know worth and what is deserved in relationships

Materials:
● Materials for Counselor:
○ Signs, tape to hang signs, Chart paper, Markers

● Materials for Students:

○ How I Want to be Treated by My Partner in a Relationship Handout - one copy
per learner (Advocates for Youth resource)
○ Effective Communication Tips Handout (Advocates for Youth Resource)
 ○ “Love is” speech bubbles (Loveisrespect.org resource)
○ Teen safety cards (Loveisrespect.org resource)

Procedure:
1. Introduce the lesson: Today we are going to talk about relationships and how to have
healthy and happy relationships. We will discuss warning signs of unhealthy
relationships and what kinds of communication skills can help us have the positive
relationships we want.
Activity #1 (5 minutes)
2. Separate students into small groups. Give students chart paper and have them discuss
the current relationships in their life with family, friends, and Significant other. What
characteristics make these relationships good or bad? Write on chart paper.
3. Counselor: hang signs while students are working
Discussion: (10 minutes)
4. Discuss what makes a relationship healthy, circle any characteristics that groups repeat
a. How do these healthy relationships make you feel?
5. Discuss the unhealthy characteristics, and compare the differences. Ask some of the
following questions
a. How did students know when a relationship was unhealthy?
b. Why is respect important in a relationship?
c. What is the difference between physical, verbal and emotional abuse?
d. Why do you think people might stay in an unhealthy relationship?
Activity #2 (10 minutes)
6. Distribute the handout “How I would want to be treated in a Relationship” to each
learner.
a. Have students circle the 3 most important things to them
b. Have students pick their #1 quality and why
7. Have students walk around and initial the 3 signs that have their most important
characteristics. Have them stay standing next to the sign that has their #1 wanted
quality.
Discussion (20 minutes)
8. Debrief several of the top-scoring signs. Discuss why students chose them and what that
quality would look like in a relationship. Sample questions:
a. Why did you all choose respect?
 b. What are some disrespectful things that a partner might do?
c. What does trust in a relationship look like?
d. Etc…..
9. Handout “effective Communication Tips” Handout
Tell students: It sounds like you all know how you would like to be treated, which is so
important. I would also like to address the importance of communication in ALL of the
relationships in our lives because healthy communication skills will assist in keeping our
experiences more positive. Can someone volunteer to read this for us?
a. Have student read through tips, then discuss.
i. What do students think of these tips?
ii. Are these already things they do?
iii. What tip do they think they will find most useful moving forward?
b. Things to emphasize if running short on time:
i. you vs I statements
ii. how to say NO
iii. expressing feelings
Activity #3/wrap-up: (5 minutes)
10. Wrap up lesson by giving each student a “Love is…” speech bubble. Have students
decorate their bubble.
(Note:These bubbles will be displayed on the bulletin board outside of the counseling office.)
11. Collect speech bubbles, let students know that they can sign up to see you with any
questions/concerns
12. Leave “Love is…” teen safety cards behind for classroom teacher to distribute. Say
goodbye!

Assessment/Evaluation:

Initial assessment:
Demonstrate students’ knowledge on the topic through Activity #1, where students are listing
the positive and negative relationship characteristics that they have witnessed or experienced.
This will provide the counselor with a foundation to see what students already know, and what
discussion prompts could be most useful after our activities.

Evaluation (of student understanding):

I will use the “Love is…” speech bubbles as exit cards, where students will demonstrate that
they recognize what “healthy love” looks like.