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31 Years Of
Homeschool Wisdom
Secrets, Struggles, Successes

by
Kathie Morrissey

31 Years of Homeschool Wisdom


Copyright: Kathie Morrissey
Published: 9th February 2017

All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in retrieval system, copied in
any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise transmitted
without written permission from the publisher.

You must not circulate this book in any format.

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Contents
Introduction .................................................................................................................... 5
Chapter 1: The Struggle is Real! .................................................................................. 6
A Homeschool Mom's Greatest Enemy ........................................................................... 7
Beware Of This Homeschool Destroyer .......................................................................... 9
Fast Track to Loss of Joy In Your Homeschool .............................................................. 11
I Want To Quit Homeschooling .................................................................................... 13
Secrets to Stress-Free Homeschooling ........................................................................... 15
Reasons You Are Frustrated As A Homeschool Mom................................................... 18
Expect the Unexpected in Homeschooling .................................................................... 21
Homeschool Moms Must Relax and De-Stress .............................................................. 24
Don’t Allow Anything to Steal Your Homeschooling Joy ............................................. 26
Tips For The Intense (Stressed!) Homeschooling Mom ................................................ 29
My Biggest Homeschooling Mistakes ........................................................................... 31
The Cure for The Discouraged Homeschool Mom ....................................................... 34
Chapter 2: Struggling through Curriculum and Scheduling Concerns! ................... 38
Choose Homeschool Curriculum Like A Pro ................................................................ 39
Homeschool - Am I Doing Enough?.............................................................................. 42
Frugal Ways To Save Money on Homeschool Curriculum ........................................... 46
Don't Let Math Ruin Your Homeschool ........................................................................ 49
Tips for Multi-level Teaching ........................................................................................ 53
How Do I Get It All Done?! ........................................................................................... 55
Are You Doing Too Much In Your Homeschool? .......................................................... 58
Chapter 3: Secrets for Success! ................................................................................... 62
The Secret to Success in Your Homeschool ................................................................... 63
The Vital Ingredient for Academic Success ................................................................... 66
Characteristics Of Highly Successful Homeschool Moms ............................................. 68
Plan A Successful School Year With These Easy Steps .................................................. 71
Ask Questions To Keep On Track ................................................................................. 80

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The Secret to Easier Homeschooling ............................................................................. 82
Chapter 4: Successes worth Remembering and Retelling! ........................................ 85
Looking Back 31 Years as a Homeschooling Parent ...................................................... 86
Things I Learned From 31 Years of Homeschooling ...................................................... 87
Every Homeschooler Must Remember… ...................................................................... 89
Tips to Smooth and Stay the Course ............................................................................. 92
Homeschooling: If We Had It To Do Over Again ......................................................... 95
I Wish I Had Known When I Started Homeschooling ................................................... 97
Homeschooling isn't ENOUGH (My Little Secret) ........................................................ 99
Additional Resources .................................................................................................. 102

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Introduction
As much as I love homeschooling, I will be quick to admit that it is hard work!

At times it can be discouraging; other times it can be stressful, bringing feelings of uncertainty
and fear -- or even failure.

After homeschooling eight children for a total of 31 years, I am well acclimated to the struggles
and challenges that come with the commitment to homeschool your children.

This book is meant to encourage you, while also giving you a renewed vision and focus for your
homeschool. I will be sharing my heart with you as I write about looking back over 31 years of
homeschooling, and sharing what the Lord has taught me in the process, as well as what things
I would do differently or the same if I had it to do over.

The book is segmented into common topics that resonate with homeschooling families. As you
read through, you will notice some recurring themes, as the book is compiled from posts I have
shared on my blog over many years. Some information is repeated; that’s because it is
important! I have provided helpful links within the text (just click the blue underlined words), as
well as a quick reference list of all the mentioned resources at the end of each chapter. You will
quickly see where my passion and priorities are in the areas of homeschooling.

I hope to inspire and encourage your homeschooling journey as you read this book, while
reminding you that the most important area of instruction is not academics, but the development
of Godly character. It is the precious foundation-stone on which all other learning is built.

Homeschooling is a process of discipleship, leading our children to Jesus, equipping them to


lead a Godly life, and preparing them to fulfill His purpose and plan for them.

My prayer is that this book will serve as a reminder to you that true education seeks to train not
just the mind, but also the heart and soul.

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Chapter 1:
The Struggle is Real!

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A Homeschool Mom's Greatest Enemy
If I had to name ONE thing as a homeschool mom's greatest enemy, it would be
BUSYNESS. It is VERY easy to be overwhelmed by busyness.

In addition to teaching the academics, training our kids, and caring for our homes, there
are many outside activities with which we get involved.

Without intentional planning, we can be overwhelmed with busyness!

WHY IS BUSYNESS A HOMESCHOOL MOM'S GREATEST ENEMY?

 Rushing and being constantly busy leads to stress.


You've probably heard it said that stress kills you, so it's important to stop the
cycle of constant activity.

 This cycle often also leads to feelings of guilt.


In our busyness we realize we are often not doing the things that are most
important.

 When we get too busy, things start falling apart.


Relationships suffer, and priorities are often neglected. Busyness crowds out our
relationship with God and with others.

 Every hour over-booked, stresses each member of the family.

I love how Cary Schmidt, blogger, pastor, and author of the book Passionate Parenting,
talks about the problem of busyness:

“I’ve noticed something. Busyness is like a snowball. It’s size and magnitude grows simply by
the motion of life, and it sort of sneaks up on you. We don’t realize we’re TOO busy until
something starts to breakdown and even then, we don’t always connect the symptoms with the
real cause.

For instance, fractured and stressed relationships sometimes have nothing to do with the heart or
intent of the individuals, and everything to do with their schedules or level of fatigue.

Bad stuff happens when we get too busy and over-extended. Here’s a short list:

Our Walk with God Diminishes


Our Physical Fatigue Increases
Our Relationships are Stretched
Our Health Suffers

Everybody pays when I’m too busy—especially those closest to me.”

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As homeschooling moms, there is ALWAYS something that we need to be doing. It's
important that we stop regularly and evaluate our schedule and our priorities, so that we
make WISE choices with how we use our time.

When was the last time you intentionally slowed down, and purposefully chose to do
LESS?

What are you busy with that you can let go? Ask God to help you to make wise choices
with your time, and to focus your time and energy on things that will count for eternity.

Seek God's wisdom as to what HE wants for your family.

Don't fall into the trap of ongoing busyness.

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Beware Of This Homeschool Destroyer
As homeschooling parents who strive hard to raise our children for God, ANGER can be
one of the biggest obstacles standing in our way.

I would even assert that uncontrolled anger is a homeschool destroyer.

Just to be clear, I am not referring to the parent who gets mad every once in a while,
and occasionally yells at their children. I think all of us would admit to having done that.

I’m warning those who are angry more often than not, and those who don’t go back and
apologize when they have responded in anger.

WHY IS ANGER SO DAMAGING?

 Parental anger is one of the biggest causes of rebellion in our children.

 When we repeatedly treat our kids harshly and don’t make it right, it will cause
them to harbor hurt and bitterness, and that will in turn cause them to close
their hearts to us.

 When we lose their hearts, we no longer have opportunity to influence them.

 Anger doesn’t address the heart issue, and confuses the learning process.

Instead of the children realizing they did something wrong, they think they are in
trouble for upsetting us. Their focus then changes from correcting the poor
behavior to avoiding your anger. The behavior may change temporarily, but it’s
not going to be a lasting change because the heart issue wasn’t addressed.

 When we appeal to our children on the basis of love, rather than relying upon
fear of our authority, their response will be much different.

When we “intimidate them into subjection” (by our anger) we will only get
outward compliance. Our goal should be to win their hearts into submission.

 Anger is contagious! If one, or both, parents have an angry spirit, there’s a


pretty good chance that your kids have a little bit of one too. This makes for an
unhappy home, with lots of contention, rather than a peaceful home.

Remember, anger itself isn't the problem. It's how you respond to that anger that
matters. Recognize anger as a signal that there is a problem that needs to be
solved, or a situation that needs to be handled.

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CONSIDER WHAT YOU CAN DO TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM THAT IS CAUSING ANGER:
 Take a few minutes to think and calm down before responding, to avoid reacting.
(and then regretting it)

 Don’t try to win the battle in your own strength. Ask God to help you gain control
over your anger

 Look to God’s Word for answers, and seek His help daily in prayer.

 Apologize to your kids whenever you do lose your temper and get angry. That
keeps the relationship intact.

 Get some resources that will help you with anger. (Good & Angry: Exchanging
Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids by Scott Turansky and Joanne
Miller is a great book!)

Don't let anger destroy your homeschool!

Let it serve as a trigger to help you be an even better parent.

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Fast Track to Loss of Joy In Your Homeschool
One thing that will put you on the fast track to loss of joy in your homeschool is
COMPARISON. It's SO easy to look at what other homeschooling moms are doing, and
feel discouraged.

They seem to have it all together. Their kids seem to have good attitudes and be
well behaved, and they even look nice all the time. Their curriculum seems to be
the perfect one for their family.

Then we start questioning whether our curriculum, and what we do in our


homeschool, is adequate. We wonder why our kids have bad attitudes, and why
we are struggling to manage everything.

When we allow our thoughts to focus on such things, doubt sets in and often leads us
to feel like a TOTAL FAILURE.

I know this, because I've been there! I had been homeschooling for over 25 years when
I fell into the GUILT-BY-COMPARISON TRAP.

After reading a blog post, I found myself comparing, and the more I thought about it the
more discouraged I felt. I started comparing what the blog author's kids did, and thinking
that my kids probably wouldn't do that. It made me feel like I had failed in some areas
of character training with my kids, which made me feel guilty.

After all, I speak on "Training Character Into Your Children", and I've written a book
about it. How could I have let this happen?

At first I didn't realize what was happening, and let the thoughts and guilt take hold.
Discouragement immediately followed the guilt. I felt my joy slipping away at the same
time. Then God gently spoke to my heart, and that's when it hit me!

I was doing just what I caution parents about in many of my workshops, and getting
sucked right into that comparison trap:

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Immediately the verse in II Corinthians 10:12 that I often share came to my mind:

For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some
that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and
comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.

God tells us here that it is NOT WISE to compare ourselves to each other. I would
guess that is because He knows that it will take us on a downward spiral that ends in
guilt, discouragement, and a loss of joy.

What we often fail to remember is that each family and home is different, and what
works for them may not work for us. God calls each family to different things, so we
must not compare ourselves to others.

When you are tempted to compare, remember that each person's family and situation is
different than yours. It's better to look at where you started and compare that with
where you are now.

Have you moved closer to your goals?

Have you accomplished the priorities that God placed on your heart?

Have your kids grown in character, and developed more of a love for God?

Those are the things by which to compare and measure your success, because that is
what GOD says is important!

Keep your eyes on God, rather than others or you risk the loss of joy in your
homeschool.

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I Want To Quit Homeschooling
If it hasn’t happened yet, it will.

That moment, in homeschooling, when you are sure you just can't do it anymore.

Maybe it's because you're just plain tired, your kids have been having attitudes, or you
feel like you can't do a good enough job and everything seems to be going wrong.
Whatever the reason, you suddenly find yourself thinking "I want to quit
homeschooling!"

If you're there, just know that you are not alone. Lots of homeschoolers go through a
period when they want to quit. There have been MANY days during the past 31 years of
homeschooling that I wanted to quit! In fact, I told my husband on several different
occasions that if homeschooling wasn’t a conviction for me, I’d enroll the kids in the
local Christian school that day!!

Don’t get me wrong – if I had it to do over, I’d homeschool my kids again. I believe in
homeschooling, and I love it….but some days are just plain HARD! It can get
frustrating and make those thoughts of quitting enter your mind.

What should you do when you feel like quitting?

 Remember your reasons for homeschooling.

When homeschooling seems overwhelming and discouraging and you start


wondering what possessed you to do such a thing, remind yourself exactly why
you are doing it. Go back to your homeschool mission statement and look at
your original reasons.

Remember that homeschooling is about preparing kids for life, and serving
God. Often, in the piles of books and assignments, we get focused on
academics and forget what is really important.

Are you accomplishing what you set out to do? Often you realize how much
you HAVE accomplished when you go back to your reasons and your goals.

 Review your goals.

Before you start each homeschool year, you should review your goals. Update
them as the years go by. When you face discouraging days, pull this list out to
confirm you are focusing on what will help you reach those goals. Often we let
academics distract us from the more important goals, such as pointing our
children to Christ daily.

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God’s Word tells us clearly what our goals should be in II Peter 1:5 where it says
to add to your faith, virtue (character), and to character, knowledge.

Give your kids a heart for God’s Word and teach them Godly character, and
then work on the academics. God will bless the remaining time for academics
when you make His Word and Godly character the first part of your day.

Remember too that God has a plan for each of your children. They each have
their special mission in life, and have been sent with talents and interests that
will lead them to prepare for it.

If we get too busy achieving educational goals to keep that perspective, we may
prepare them in everything EXCEPT that purpose for which God made them.

 Re-evaluate your relationships.

How is your relationship with the Lord?

Often we get so busy with homeschooling that we neglect spending time with
God. Soon we are discouraged and weary from trying to do it in our own
strength. Everything we do in our homes must rest on the foundation of our
relationship with God.

How is your relationship with your spouse?

You need to have a oneness of spirit with your spouse, and share the same
goals in your parenting. If that relationship is good, you will have the support for
those hard days.

How is your relationship with your kids?

As homeschooling moms, most of us are with our kids 24 hours a day. We need
to have a heart for them and enjoy being with them. Don’t let academic
challenges hurt your relationship with your child! One of the most important
things we can do as parents is win the hearts of our children!

I always clung to I Thessalonians 5:24 when I just felt like I couldn’t do it anymore:

Faithful is he who calleth you, who also will do it.

God doesn’t ask us to do this on our own!

Trying to do so is the very thing that leads us to discouragement.

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Secrets to Stress-Free Homeschooling
Do the words ‘peaceful’ and ‘joyful’ describe your homeschool?

That's what we all hope for in our homeschools, but often the word stressful is a better
description!

Do you know that stress-free homeschooling is possible?

After homeschooling our 8 kids for a total of 31 years, I will be the first to admit that
there were many times when things were stressful for me, and the kids could feel it in
our homeschooling.

I learned that I had to be careful and intentional in my planning, or it was all too easy to
lose the joy and peace in our homeschool, and live in a chronic state of stress.

If you are feeling stressed about things, let me encourage you that it doesn't have to
stay that way! Homeschooling really CAN be (relatively) stress-free.

8 tips that will help you accomplish stress-free homeschooling:


1. Make time for God’s Word.

Often when we are overwhelmed, busy, and stressed, the first thing we let go is
our time with God. It's SO easy to let it get crowded out! When we start skipping
that time with God, it makes things even MORE stressful. We begin doing things
in our own strength and wisdom, rather than seeking HIS strength and wisdom.

Everything that we do in our homeschool needs to rest on the foundation of our


relationship with the Lord. We need to hear from Him and His Word daily in
order to be the moms He wants us to be.

2. Prioritize your days.

Make a list of your priorities, and make sure that your daily activities reflect
those priorities. If your day gets crazy and you don't accomplish everything you
hoped to, at least you will have accomplished the most important things.

Start your day by building your kids’ faith (Bible reading, and memory verses),
working on character training, and THEN starting on the academics. God will
bless your day when you give Him the first part of it, and follow His priorities.

Some days you may need to focus on character, and skip the academics. When
you address the heart issues and character problems first, you will then begin to
accomplish much more with the academics.

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3. Keep relationships first.

Relationships should always trump academics. Don't let academic struggles


strain the relationship between you and your child!

When a child is struggling with a subject, try not to get all worked up about
it. Eventually they WILL get it.

In the meantime you need to encourage and love the child. Don't let frustration
creep in, because your child will sense that and it will hurt the relationship.

4. Teach your children to work more independently.

By the time your kids are in 2nd or 3rd grade they should gradually learn to do
some of their work on their own. You shouldn’t have to be spoon feeding them
at that age. Gradually increase the amount of work they do independently over
time. It teaches them to be responsible for their work, while relieving some
stress for you!

Initially this will take some time and work on your part as you train them in
character, initiative, and responsibility, but it is well worth the time you invest!

5. Limit outside activities.

In our zeal to make sure our kids don't miss out on anything and have lots of
opportunities, we can get TOO busy with activities. When every moment of
every day is full, it stresses US and our kids.

Remember, you can't do it all, so choose wisely. Prayerfully choose one or two
outside activities that you feel are best for your family, and don't get caught up in
the whirlwind of constant activities. Kids need time to just play and explore, and
also need to learn to appreciate being home with their family.

6. Leave margins in your daily routine.

I didn't always do this. I tended to schedule things on a tight time frame, and
then if one of the kids needed extra help or even just wanted to talk for a minute,
I would be short and impatient with them because there was "no time" for that. I
had to learn to slow down and allow extra time for everything. Unlike adults, kids
usually aren't in a hurry, and tend to live in the moment rather than rushing
around. We don't want to pass our stress on to them by always hurrying them.

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Things usually take longer than you expect, and there are always interruptions.
Allowing extra time for the unexpected reduces the stress of having to always
rush to stay on schedule. If you don't leave any margin, you WILL feel stressed
and take it out on the kids in the form of impatience.

7. Get enough rest.

When you are fatigued and haven't been getting the rest you need, things
always seem worse than they actually are. Things that once seemed possible
suddenly seem overwhelming.

Homeschooling requires a lot of time and energy, so it's vital as moms that we
get the rest we need. If this means only doing the basics on some days so you
can take a nap, that's okay. It's better to be rested and calm as you teach a little,
rather than fatigued and stressed while teaching a lot. You will enjoy your home
school more, and so will your kids.

8. Identify the sources of your stress and deal with them.

There are many potential sources causing frustration and stress in your
homeschool. They may be related to your children’s behavior, the curriculum
you’ve selected, or goals you’ve set. In order to alleviate the problem of stress,
you must first identify the cause.
Once you pinpoint the problem areas, you must make intentional choices to
address these challenges. This may require quick, simple changes you can
make, or it might involve far more time and effort. Either way, deciding to deal
with the source of your frustration will start you on a journey to less stress.

Don't believe the myth that homeschooling HAS to be stressful.

Utilize these eight tips and you truly can have a stress-free homeschool.

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Reasons You Are Frustrated As A Homeschool Mom
Are you a FRUSTRATED homeschool mom?

It is normal for all of us to have times of frustration; however, it shouldn't be a constant


feeling. God meant for our children to be a blessing and a joy to us, not a burden
causing us stress.

If we are constantly frustrated, we will not enjoy homeschooling our kids, or even being
with them. When we find ourselves feeling this way, we must identify the cause. Once
we know what is causing it, we are able to work on a solution to remove the frustration.

6 common causes or reasons you are frustrated as a homeschool


mom:

1. Lack of Parental Control

If your children haven't learned to obey you and are out of control, you will be
constantly frustrated. Trying to teach them anything academically will be very
stressful. Every day you will fight the battle of their will.

Your children need to learn to listen and obey the first time they are told, without
question. If you need to, take a short break from the academics and work on
obedience. You can't teach a child who won't listen or obey.

Be consistent in requiring obedience, and don't get frustrated when you have to
stop and train them in this area. Don't let it upset you, but rather remind them
what obedience is, and practice the correct response.

Discipline and training are NOT interruptions in your day, but are opportunities
to take them to God's Word, and show them what HE says about it. One of the
reasons we homeschool our children is so we can daily work on their attitudes,
and train them in Godly behavior.

This is more important than getting all the academics done for the day. If they
get all their school work done, but have had a disobedient attitude the whole
time, it really doesn't mean much. It is better that they finish only half of their
lessons with a good attitude!

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2. Lack of Character in Your Children

If kids are weak in certain areas of character, it can make things much more
stressful. For example, if you’re trying to teach them, and they haven't learned to
be attentive, it is very frustrating. You can't teach them anything if they aren't
paying attention. If they haven't learned to be diligent, getting academics done
daily can become a source of frustration.
Making character training and development a top priority when the kids are
young will reap great results, and will make the later years much easier. The
harder you work on teaching and training your children when they are little, the
easier your job will be later.

3. Arguing and Sibling Squabbles

This is one of the things that frustrate me the most! It can be overwhelming
when the kids are continually teasing, tattling, bossing, putting each other down,
etc.; however, as I have told my children often, God put each of them in our
family with their unique personalities, to help each of us learn and grow.

There are daily opportunities to learn to treat each other kindly, respond properly
to irritations, practice self-control, and be a peacemaker. Dealing with sibling
rivalry and conflicts isn't always easy, but it will make your home more peaceful,
and help your kids develop skills that will be valuable when they become adults.

4. Unrealistic Expectations

Sometimes we put a lot of unnecessary pressure on ourselves, and expect more


than what is truly realistic. This often stems from comparison.

Don't allow yourself to compare what you are doing to what someone else is
doing. You and God know your family’s situation. Ask His wisdom on teaching
and training your kids, and get His direction on what really matters. Realize you
can't do it all, so you need His direction.

It's also common to get frustrated because we are unrealistic in what we expect
from our kids. It's important to remember that each of them is different, and has
a different learning style and abilities.

It’s fine if one takes longer to read or learn math facts than another. Be realistic
in your expectations with each child, and it will save you from a lot of frustration.

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5. Disorganization

Being organized and orderly is important to God. Read I Corinthians 14:40:

Let all things be done decently and in order.

Getting organized will make a huge difference in your productivity each


day. There's nothing more frustrating than starting your day looking for school
books, paper, or pencils. Allowing your children to run around doing their own
thing because there is no structure, will simply add to the confusion.

It is worth it for you to set aside a block of time to organize yourself, and make a
weekly schedule for everyone to follow, that includes household management.

Keep in mind that the schedule is a tool, and not your master. It's a way to
incorporate your priorities and goals into each day, and accomplish the things
that matter. I suggest not worrying about exact times, so much as a routine to
follow each day. Allow for flexibility as needed.

6. Over-Commitment

Life is busy! We all face the challenge of having to choose which things to say
‘yes’ to, while saying ‘no’ to even more. We simply can't do it all.

Being too busy crowds-out our relationship with the Lord and with others. When
our days are full with activities, it stresses each member of the family. Being too
busy also increases our physical fatigue, and often our health suffers.

The solution lies in making wise choices. Go to the Lord and ask Him for His
wisdom and guidance as to what HE wants for your family, and how He wants
you to use your time, and spend your days. Seek Him when deciding what
activities to be involved in. Go to God and seek His priorities daily.

Homeschooling is not always easy, and there will be times of frustration. Stay
encouraged and excited about the eternal value of the job God has trusted you
with as you raise those blessings for Him!

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Expect the Unexpected in Homeschooling
Have you ever thought about the need to expect the unexpected in homeschooling?

So often we begin our homeschooling journey with unrealistic expectations. We


picture perfectly behaved kids who LOVE to hop out of bed each morning to joyfully
begin their schoolwork. We imagine ourselves as calm moms, who are quietly patient,
yet firm with their kids. Rarely does the reality of homeschooling meet our lofty
expectations. As a result, we can get discouraged and respond incorrectly.

4 REASONS TO BE PREPARED FOR, AND EXPECT, THE UNEXPECTED:

1. It will keep you calm, and help you not to over-react.

It's easy to over-react and respond wrong when you aren't prepared. It is good
to always remember that there is a likely chance of things going wrong.

Don’t be surprised when one of your kids doesn’t want to cooperate and do their
schoolwork. Don’t be disappointed and stressed when they don’t catch on to
phonics as fast as your friend’s child did.

When you have expectations for how your kids are going to learn or behave
during the school day, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and
frustration. You can and should expect them to do their best, but be realistic
about their capabilities.

Also, you can, and should, require obedience and good attitudes, but realize
your kids aren’t perfect and will require training and reminding. Remembering
that will keep you calm when you need to stop what you’re doing to correct
and train them.

2. It will teach your kids the importance of being flexible.

When things don’t go as planned, you have sick kids, one that is being extra
ornery, or one that just needs extra help, remember: your children are
watching your reactions. If you are prepared for things to not go exactly as
planned, you set a great example for your kids about being flexible when things
don’t go the way you want them to, or thought they would.

This is such a great way to help that child who doesn’t handle
unexpected change well. He/she is watching how you handle things that
you didn’t know were coming. When you handle the situation calmly,

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remembering to expect those times, it will help that child learn to not fret and
worry as much when their plans don’t go as they thought they would.

3. When you release your expectations and give your day and plans to God, it
keeps you from disappointment.

BLESSED IS HE WHO EXPECTS NOTHING; FOR HE SHALL NOT BE


DISAPPOINTED!

There were times I was so excited about doing something with the kids that I
envisioned them being happy and excited about it too. I anticipated us having a
picture perfect time. Imagine my disappointment when my kids didn’t get that
enthusiastic, and SOME even complained. I set myself up for
disappointment by having those expectations. Sometimes
disappointment even caused me to react with anger, and led me to say things I
shouldn’t have to my kids about their lack of gratitude, or being spoiled, etc.

It is much better to start the day with God, giving your expectations to
Him, leaving those desires with Him, and letting Him determine how the
day actually goes. That makes it so much easier when the unexpected
happens, because you know God is the one who is in control, and that
He has a plan for the way things actually happen. When the unexpected occurs,
in your heart you can thank Him, knowing that His plans are better than yours.

4. When you are prepared for things not to be as you expected, you are
able to convey love and acceptance to your kids.

Children don’t often learn things on the same schedule. If you aren’t careful, and
prepared for that possibility, they will feel your sense of disappointment. It will be
seen on your face, and perceived as a letdown. When we don’t expect them to
perform according to certain standards, or like another child, it shows we love
them for who they are, not because of their ability, or good performance.

The same is true when your child commits wrong behavior, or makes wrong
choices that you never thought any of your kids would make. It’s easy to
inadvertently convey to them a lack of acceptance, or love. They need to
know you love them unconditionally, and that you are there to love
and support them even when they do make poor choices.

Kids will make mistakes along the way. Often they face rejection outside of
the home for various reasons, so it is VITAL that we parents don’t let the
unexpected ever cause us to respond in a way that makes them
feel anything less than loved and accepted. They need our affirmation
and encouragement, and giving it to them is a key to keeping their hearts.

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Accept that your vision for each child may not become reality, and expect
unexpected twists and turns along the way. God is in control. Commit
your kids, and all the unexpected things that will occur in
parenting and homeschooling to Him!

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Homeschool Moms Must Relax and De-Stress
Sometimes as busy homeschooling moms, we need to take a break and de-stress! We
all have those times when we're stressed out with our crazy, busy life. Other times we're
not feeling too well, or are just exhausted. There are times when you have been on the
go, and just need to stop and re-group before getting back to things. Sometimes it's just
nice to change things up, and take a break to relieve built-up stress.

It's OK to take a break now and then! Really, it is.

Your kids won't suffer permanent damage, and whatever needs to get done, will still be
waiting when you come back to it.

Not only is it OK, but it's actually important that you do!

If you keep pushing yourself when you are in need of a break, you will lose your
joy. You won't enjoy your children, or your homeschooling. Everything will seem
overwhelming, and you probably won't be the loving mom you'd like to be. (Yes, I'm
speaking from experience!)

10 things you can and should do to relax and de-stress:

1. Take a nap.

Sometimes that's the most spiritual thing you can do!

2. Have a tickle party.

Grab the closest kid, and start tickling until they can't stop laughing, then start
chasing the others down. The kids will squeal with delight, and giggle through
the tickles. In turn, you won't be able to keep from laughing.

Laughter is a good medicine! I'm always amazed at how much better I feel
after an episode of uncontrolled laughing.

3. Take a break and play a game or two with the kids.

This is one of those things I never WANT to do, but when I do I always enjoy
it, and wonder why I didn't do it sooner, or why I don't do it more
often. The kids love it when it's not just their siblings playing games with them,
but Mom too!

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4. Put the school books aside, and read a good book out loud with the kids.

Have a snack while you're reading together, relax, and just enjoy it.

5. Listen to some good uplifting music.

6. Make some goodies and take your kids with you to deliver them to
someone who needs encouragement.

Not only will you be a blessing to them, but you will feel encouraged as
well. There's something about doing things for others that makes you feel good.

7. De-clutter.

Have everyone find 5 things they can get rid of. Then set a timer for 5 minutes
and have everyone put things away that aren't where they belong. When the
house is looking a little bit cleaner and picked up, it makes you just feel better
about everything.

8. Sing songs with the kids.

Singing lifts your spirit, which is probably why the Bible talks about singing
hymns and spiritual songs. One of my favorite memories is singing choruses
and Scripture songs with my kids.

9. Put a good movie on for the kids to watch, and tackle one project that has
been bugging you.

Again, just having things a little cleaner, more organized, or one project
completed will make you feel like things aren't quite as bad as you thought.

10. Put your feet up and read a book for 30 minutes.

Have the kids stay in their room for quiet time with books, or have everyone
lounge in the living room together reading books.

Individually, these may seem like little things, but they really will help you feel better
on a difficult day, or when you need to just slow down, and take a break from the normal
hustle and bustle of daily life. Your life SHOULD NOT always feel stressed! If it does,
you must intentionally make choices that will help you relax and de-stress.

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Don’t Allow Anything to Steal Your Homeschooling Joy
At the beginning of our homeschooling journey, I was so excited to teach my oldest
daughter. She was an eager learner, and her younger two siblings played well while I
was teaching her.

Fast forward several years when I was homeschooling three kids, and had a toddler and
baby. Things weren’t as EASY, and one day I realized that I had LOST MY
HOMESCHOOLING JOY!

Homeschooling had become more of a burden to me, than a joy.

Have you been there?

WHAT ARE SOME OF THE THINGS THAT STEAL HOMESCHOOLING JOY?

 Busyness

It is SO easy to be consumed with activities as we try to give our kids all kinds of
opportunities. But the truth is, when we have every hour of every day booked,
it stresses US and OUR kids. Often, it also causes us to neglect our priorities,
which then leads to guilt.

Time will always be at a premium for homeschooling moms, so it’s important to


choose activities prayerfully, and ask The Lord what is best for OUR family.

Seek God’s wisdom in this area, and slow down if you are too busy. Intentionally
leave some margin in your days!

 Anger

I never felt that I had an anger issue until I started homeschooling. I would find
myself getting angry with the demands or needs of little ones when I was
struggling to teach a new reader; I would get angry at the child who wasn’t
listening, etc.

My anger usually wasn’t real vocal, and I didn’t throw things or go into a rage;
however, I had an ANGRY SPIRIT.

My kids could sense it and feel it. That angry spirit stole my joy many days.

Are you an angry parent? If so, ask God to help you in this area! Ask Him to
show you what your triggers are, and how to learn a better way to respond.

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 Comparison

We all look at what other homeschooling moms are doing, and can get
discouraged. They always seem more successful than we feel. Whether it’s
the way their children conduct themselves or the curriculum they use – it all
seems so perfect! Before long we start questioning everything we’re doing, and
wonder why our kids have bad attitudes, and why we struggle to manage
everything.

When we allow our thoughts to focus on these comparisons, doubt sets in


and often leads us to feel like a TOTAL FAILURE.

Falling into the comparison trap is one of the biggest reasons that homeschooling
moms cry.

 Lack of Character in Our Kids

Character is the foundation we need to lay before working on academics. If your


child hasn’t learned the character trait of obedience or attentiveness, you aren’t
going to get too far with teaching anything else. Nothing can ruin a
homeschooling day faster than kids that don’t obey, have no initiative, and
show no responsibility.

When character issues are upsetting your homeschool days, take a break
from the academics and focus on character for a few days.
Remember to keep school in its proper place, and remember your priorities.
Taking time to correct those character problems is much more important than the
academic teaching.

 Hormone imbalance

Many homeschooling moms suffer with hormone issues, and find that those
hormone imbalances can be very disruptive to homeschooling.

Whether it’s PMS, peri-menopause, or menopause, those changing


hormones can bring some very real symptoms.

If you are dealing with hormone issues, you can find help and encouragement in
my posts on Homeschooling & Hormones.

 Unrealistic expectations

We all have great expectations for our homeschools, and for our kids. It’s
important that we keep those expectations realistic!

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Often we expect too much from ourselves, or our kids. Those unrealistic
expectations can cause stress, and lead to discouragement. It’s important to
know YOUR limits and what you can realistically accomplish.

Equally important is having realistic expectations for your kids. Realize they all
don’t learn the same way, or at the same speed. Don’t let that discourage you.

Determine your kids’ capabilities, and push them when they can do better. At the
same time, don’t push them if they are doing their best, even if their sibling may
have done it faster. Allow for differences in how each child learns.

Don’t let any of these things steal your homeschooling joy!

Daily ask the Lord to guide you and give you His wisdom and His joy.

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Tips For The Intense (Stressed!) Homeschooling Mom
A homeschooling mom once asked if she could “pick my brain” about homeschooling.
She was a former school teacher and was having a hard time changing the way she
viewed learning. She openly admitted that she was STRESSED all the time, and asked
if I could give her some tips on how to relax and chill.

I would describe her as the INTENSE HOMESCHOOLING MOM who:

 Rarely smiles.

 Feels uptight and stressed daily.

 Doesn’t really “enjoy” homeschooling; she’s too stressed trying to make it all go
perfectly.

 Doesn’t really enjoy her kids either because she is too busy with “school.”

 Feels overwhelmed with preparing lesson plans.

 Tends to be snippy about anything that slows down the plans of the day.

 Occasionally feels the need to run outside and scream to relieve the tension.
(Yes, she told me she has done that!)

Does this sound like you in any way? If you fit part or all of the above description, below
are some helpful tips.

5 Tips for the intense homeschool mom:

1. Relax!

It’s okay to change plans and veer off into an unanticipated area of interest,
rather than strictly following a lesson plan.

It’s okay to have fun while learning, too!

Don’t forget that the kids are learning all the time through daily life! Look how
much they learned before they officially started “school.”

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2. Make the relationship more important than covering the subject matter.

Keeping your child’s heart is the most important thing you can do! Losing that
relationship over an academic face-off isn’t worth it. EVER.

3. Remember, your priorities should be building their faith and character,


and THEN adding the academics.

This is clearly seen in II Peter 1:5:

…add to your faith virtue (character); and to virtue knowledge.

Some days you may just need to focus on character, and skip the academics.
When you address the heart issues and character problems first, you will then
begin to accomplish much more with the academics.

4. Teach your kids to do more of their school work independently.

By the time your kids are in 2nd or 3rd grade they should learn to do some of
their work on their own. You shouldn’t have to spoon feed them at that age.
Gradually increase the amount of work they do independently. It teaches them to
be responsible for their work, while relieving some stress for you!

5. Make time to have, and be, fun.

Keep in mind that all the material our kids learn from K - 12th grade is only FOUR
YEARS of material, according to Richard Fugate, former CEO for Alpha Omega
Publications, and the author of Successful Homeschooling, as well as several
other books.

There is much repetition from year to year, with each year going into a little bit
more depth. Knowing this should help you to not feel stressed about “being
behind,” or not covering everything you need to every day. Your children really
will get it all eventually over the twelve years of school!

You probably won’t enjoy EVERY day of homeschooling, and you WILL have
some bad days. However, I hope that these tips will help you to slow down, relax,
and enjoy the journey!

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My Biggest Homeschooling Mistakes
As much as I would love to tell you that I was a great homeschooling mom who always
did everything right, it wouldn’t be true. The truth is that I made a lot of mistakes,
especially in my early years of homeschooling. To help you avoid these errors, I am
going to share my seven biggest homeschooling mistakes.

Be encouraged by the fact that despite my many mistakes, my kids not only survived,
but are thriving now as adults.

7 OF THE BIGGEST MISTAKES I MADE WHILE HOMESCHOOLING:

1. Having unrealistic expectations

As a new homeschooling mom, I started off with very idealistic (and unrealistic)
expectations. I pictured my kids joyfully starting their school work, and working
diligently with a good attitude, as I very patiently worked with them while also
handling the little ones who needed my attention. It didn’t take long for me to
realize those were unrealistic expectations.

Rarely does the reality of homeschooling meet our picture perfect expectations.

Our kids aren’t going to always want to do school, and we aren’t always going to
be patient amidst the confusion. Even with diligence, it’s unlikely that we will
finish the whole school year by Christmas. We must be realistic in our
expectations to avoid disappointment and discouragement.

2. Over-scheduling

One of the biggest struggles in homeschooling is finding the balance of activities


and our schedule. Busyness can be a homeschool mom’s greatest enemy!

When we allow ourselves to get too busy, we neglect our priorities, which then
leads to frustration and guilt. Less busyness is better for the entire family, and
makes for a more peaceful home.

3. Judging my homeschooling “success” on the wrong things

Even though I knew better, there were times when I judged my homeschooling
“success” on the wrong things. I would feel it was a successful day if we were
able to cross everything off our list – all the lessons were done, all the boxes
checked, etc.

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What I failed to remember was that if those things were done with a bad attitude,
it really hadn’t been a successful day.
It is much better to gauge our homeschooling success on how much our children
are growing in character and wisdom, than on if they are “caught up” for their
age/grade level, or getting all their work done daily.

4. Being too serious and intense

Along with the unrealistic expectations, sometimes I was so focused on


everything we had to get done, that I just couldn’t relax and enjoy the process.

I scowled more than I smiled. I wasn’t enjoying homeschooling, and I wasn’t


enjoying my kids!

As a result, my kids weren’t enjoying learning. They did much better when I
purposefully chose to slow down, smile, laugh, and have fun.

5. Comparing myself to other homeschool moms

This is such a common trap, and one that we all tend to fall into as moms.
Comparison will steal your joy, and lead to discouragement.

6. Thinking I could do it all

Do you notice once again — the problem of unrealistic expectations?

I thought I could and should be able to do what every other homeschooling mom
was doing. I thought I could homeschool, have lots of outside activities, and still
maintain my home as I always did.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that I couldn’t do it all.

It all comes down to determining your goals, and then choosing what needs to go
in order for you to accomplish those specific goals.

7. Neglecting self-care

It’s easy to get caught up in meeting the needs of the family that we fail to take
care of our own needs. It’s vital that you put care of self at the top of your
priority list. If you aren’t getting the sleep you need, and nurturing yourself
spiritually and emotionally, you are going to burn out.

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You cannot pour into others when you are running on empty, so be sure to take
time regularly to fill your own well.

We have all made our fair share of mistakes; the key is that we recognize them,
learn from them, and keep going!

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The Cure for The Discouraged Homeschool Mom
Parenting is challenging, and when you add homeschooling, the challenge is greater.

Homeschooling isn't easy. Often discouragement creeps in, making us feel like
we are failing, or even causing us to consider quitting.

Through my 31 years of homeschooling, I have had MANY days when I was


discouraged, and ready to quit. Over time I learned what I needed to do to help me
handle those times of discouragement.

What to do when you are discouraged in your homeschooling:

Seek the Lord, and get your eyes back on Him.

Often when we are discouraged in our homeschooling, it’s because we are


looking at our circumstances, or what we consider to be our failings, and
we get our eyes off the Lord. Rather than seeking Him and His wisdom, we try
to do things in our own strength.

 Remember your reasons for homeschooling.

Many times when we get discouraged, it’s because we have lost sight of our
goals and priorities, and are focusing on the wrong things.

 Don’t compare yourself or your homeschool to others.

Comparison will put you on a fast track to discouragement.

 Find and fix the reasons for your discouragement.

Common reasons for discouragement in our homeschools:


 Disorganization:
Being disorganized makes it hard to get things done and will quickly lead to
frustration. Focus on organizing your plans, and your supplies.

 Kids’ behavior:
Are your kids out of control? Are they having obedience issues, or struggling
with bad attitudes? Most behavioral problems go back to character
issues. If necessary take a break from academics and focus on character.

 Feeling like a failure in some area:

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It’s SO easy to feel like a failure in your housekeeping, parenting, or
homeschooling. Focus on realistic expectations for yourself, and your kids.

 Learn how to encourage yourself.

Homeschooling is HARD, and discouragement is common. It's important to know


how to encourage yourself when you are going through a hard time.

Suggestions for ways to encourage yourself in your homeschooling:


 Don’t carry the load alone. Get support from your spouse, as well as other
homeschoolers.

 Find or pull out resources that encourage you and remind you of your goals,
and priorities.

 If fatigued, slow down and lighten up. Sometimes it’s best to just let some of
the extras go, rather than pushing yourself beyond what you can handle.

 Find Scripture that encourages you. When the thoughts arise that you aren’t
doing a good enough job parenting, or that there is no help for that rebellious
child, (or….. you fill in the blank with what thought is discouraging YOU),
we MUST claim God’s promises. See the next page for a list of twelve of
my favorite verses for times of discouragement in homeschooling.

Don’t allow yourself to stay discouraged.

Find the reasons for your discouragement, make changes as necessary, and learn to
encourage yourself!

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FAVORITE VERSES
FOR TIMES OF HOMESCHOOLING DISCOURAGEMENT

Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Philippians 1:6
Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will
perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with
wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Galatians 6:9
And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

Proverbs 16:3
Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.

Proverbs 3:5,6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all
thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Psalm 5:3
My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer
unto thee, and will look up.

II Corinthians 12:9
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in
weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of
Christ may rest upon me.

I Thessalonians 5:24
Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.

James 1:5
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and
upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

I Corinthians 15:58
Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the
work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.

Psalm 121:1,2

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I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from
the Lord, which made heaven and earth.

The Struggle is Real!


Helpful Links:

3 Ways Our Kids Learn Character

4 Simple Ways You Can Win Your Child's Heart

4 Tips For Teaching God's Word To Your Children

7 Signs That You're Too Busy

10 Tips For First Time Obedience

Are You an Angry parent?

Character Training: Where Do I Start?!

Dealing With Your Different Child

Good & Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character

Homeschooling & Hormones

Keep school in its proper place

Sibling Squabbles - Getting to the heart issue

Training & Correcting The Heart With Scripture

Training Kids’ Hearts with Scripture

Why Homeschool Moms Cry

Why You Need To Win Your Child's Heart

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Chapter 2:
Struggling through Curriculum and
Scheduling Concerns!

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Choose Homeschool Curriculum Like A Pro
Many parents feel overwhelmed and stressed when it comes time to choose their
homeschool curriculum for the year. It can be an intimidating task, as there are so many
great products from which to choose.

It really doesn't have to be that hard!

7 Easy steps to help you select your homeschool curriculum:

1. Pray.

This is at the top of the list. God led you to homeschool your children, and He will
guide you as you make your curriculum choices. There is no need to figure it out
all on your own! God invites you to call on Him and seek His wisdom.

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God... (James 1:5)

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own
understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy
paths. (Proverbs 3:5,6)

2. Remember your philosophy and goals.

The most important thing to consider when choosing curriculum is whether it is


in line with your family's purpose for homeschooling. As you are looking, be sure
and remember WHY you are homeschooling, as well as what are your priorities.
Look for materials that will help you achieve your specific goals and priorities.

While academics are very important, even more important to us was pointing the
kids to God and His Word, and helping them to develop Godly character. We
wanted them to learn how to reason and think -- or develop wisdom.

Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom. (Proverbs 4:7)

3. Ask these things about the curriculum you are considering:

 Is it teacher led or for independent learning?


 How much preparation time does it require?
 Does it explain the topic well for topics you struggle to teach?

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 Can it be adapted easily to use with several children?
 Will it work for MY child? Each child is different, so consider individual needs.
4. Consider these things:

 What kind of homeschool teacher are you?

Do you need something that tells you exactly what to say, teach, and do? Or
are you the type that will just take the book and make it work for you? Do you
have time to write lesson plans or do other required preparation? If it is going
to stress you, don't buy it!

 How do your kids learn?

Hands-on, auditory, or visual? Considering individual learning styles will make


a huge difference in your choices, as well as save you frustration. Choose
curriculum that aligns with and compliments your children’s styles of learning.

 What goals do you have for their learning?

God gave you those children with specific personalities and needs. The
curriculum is a tool to help you disciple your kids, and teach them what God
desires. Will the materials help you accomplish those goals?

5. Even the best curriculum doesn't matter if your kids are out of control, or
have no Godly character.

Any attempts to teach skills and academic content without first addressing
obedience will be met with frustration. You can’t teach children to read, or do
anything else, if they won’t obey you. This is top priority.

Your children must learn to obey, first and foremost, or you can never serve as
their teacher. Teaching them to obey, to do their work and stick with it, to follow
instructions, not to interrupt, and much more, requires your diligent supervision
and follow-through. That is the work of parenting, really.

6. Ask experienced, veteran homeschoolers for input and advice.

Whether it's going to support group meetings, or to a homeschool conference, it


is wise to learn from those who have been on the homeschooling journey for a
while longer than you. They often have lots of wisdom to offer from their years of
homeschooling, as well as from the mistakes they learned through.

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Another great source of advice is curriculum resource guides. Each year as I
made curriculum choices, I used (and loved!) Cathy Duffy's Christian Home
Educator's Curriculum. (She has one for Elementary and Junior/Senior High).

7. Remember, there is no PERFECT curriculum.

Most important is that it works for your family, and helps you to reach your goals.

The quote below by Christine Field, author of Help for the Harried Homeschooler,
about choosing curriculum sums it all up very well:

“The longer I homeschool, the more apparent it becomes that learning isn't about
stuff at all. It's about talking, relating, sharing, inspiring, and loving. It's also
about my basic attitude toward learning and life. I want my children to learn
Godly character, good habits, research skills, and some specific material, but most
importantly I want them to learn to love learning. If they learn nothing else from
me, that's enough.

Overriding all other considerations concerning the choices my husband and I


make as homeschoolers are these two questions:

Will our children learn to love God?


Will our children learn to love learning?

If our curriculum fails to address either of these priorities, we are misguided. We


must not allow ourselves to get so sidetracked by the "experts" that we forget the
important thing--training our children's hearts for the Lord.”

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Homeschool - Am I Doing Enough?
Probably the most common question plaguing every homeschool mom is:
"Am I doing enough?"

Being responsible for the education of our children is a serious responsibility, so being
concerned about whether we are doing all we should is understandable.

What to do when you question if you are doing enough:

1. Put the Lord first.

The most important subjects to teach are Bible and Christian character. Focus on
these areas first thing every day, and give them top priority. This shows your kids
your most important goals, and teaches them to put Christ first in their own life.

When you give God the first part of your day, He will bless the time that remains
and make your academic time more fruitful.

2. Focus on the 3 R's.

They are the foundation of life-long learning, and if your kids are proficient in
Reading, Writing, and Math they will be able to learn other subjects
independently.

If your kids know and love God and His Word, know the 3 R's well, and love to
learn, then what else do they need?

3. Focus on giving your kids a LOVE for learning, rather than trying to teach
them EVERYTHING.

Keep things simple, and don't make homeschooling more complicated than it
should be. Simpler is more effective, and enables you to focus and achieve
mastery in key areas.

Never forget: Learning is a lifelong process, so you’re simply laying a foundation,


teaching them HOW to learn and to LOVE learning.

Do you worry about gaps or things your children will miss? You will have gaps in
your homeschooling, because there is simply too much to learn. No one can

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master it all! However, when your kids have character and know how to do
research, they will be able to fill those gaps with independent learning.

According to Joyce Herzog, homeschool conference speaker, and author of


Learning In Spite of Labels, Scaredy Cat Reading System, and several other
books, 90% of what a child learns before they enter 7th grade (age 12/13) will be
forgotten. So during the early years our focus should be to instill a love of
learning that they can take with them. This love of learning will fill in the gaps
they need to know later in life.

4. Go back to WHY you are homeschooling, and your homeschooling goals.

Often the devil tries to discourage us by planting seeds of doubt, causing us to


question if we are able to do a good job teaching our kids, if we need to be doing
more, etc. With those doubts, he tries to draw our focus away from what really
matters, and get us busy with too many things, causing us to neglect our
priorities and goals.

If you are accomplishing these goals, you are doing enough:

 Encouraging a love of learning


 Encouraging a love for God & His Word
 Helping your kids pursue and develop their interests and talents
 Preparing your kids to serve God
 Teaching practical living skills

I remember a time when I was questioning my success as a homeschool mom, and


wondering if what I was doing was enough. I emailed a dear friend of mine, who was a
veteran homeschool mom. I absolutely LOVE the answer she gave me about hitting a
wall in homeschooling. She wrote:

“Haven’t we all hit this wall as homeschoolers? Let me tell you how my husband and I
have handled this in our own family.

First of all, we go back to “WHY” we are home educating! For us, it is not academics. It
truly is because we believe God’s Word teaches that this is God’s desire for us as a
family.

Abraham and Isaac are an inspiration to us in this endeavor. God called Abraham to
separate himself and his family from the evil influences of Ur and go out to a desolate
place. Abraham obeyed and didn’t worry about how he was going to make a living, or
compete with the world. He merely devoted himself to God and his family. God did the
rest and received the glory.

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Since our goal for our children is to produce Godly servants of Almighty God, the
pressure to accomplish academics is WAY behind character and knowing God’s
Word. We are blessed when our children are running around with a teaching CD in their
MP3s, or falling asleep in the middle of the day reading their Bibles, or loving and
serving their brothers and sisters. We consider THAT a good day!!

Richard Fugate said something at the CHEO conference a few years ago that should take
the pressure off every home schooling parent in America. (Remember, he wrote the
Alpha and Omega curriculum from K-12, so he knows what he’s talking about.)

‘K-12 curriculum has only 4 years of academic content from the beginning to the end –
everything is repeated over and over again year after year. You can take a child and
concentrate on Godly character for the first 12 years of his life and not teach ANY
academics and then introduce reading. You’ll finish all twelve years in four years, by the
time they are 16.’

I personally think that the small children benefit from the one on one time that we spend
with them doing their academics, but I certainly wouldn’t use their accomplishments (or
lack of them) to mean anything.

We spend the bulk of our “teaching” time with the littlest ones. They need the controlled
situations, the time spent, things to do to keep them out of trouble, etc. We require the
older children to spend time with them also, watching and protecting them and reading to
them, and just being with them.

The older children are pretty much on their own academically. What we have done to
facilitate learning and a love of learning (which we think is the secret to success) – not
just slogging through a curriculum) is create a library in our home. We have bookcases
everywhere – hallways, in every bedroom, bathrooms, dining room, living room, library,
basement, etc. We buy books at garage sales, GCB, etc. We budget for books, and have
them filed according to topic (Bible reference books, prophecy, biographies, parenting,
suffering, purity, children’s books, etc.) Then we got rid of our TV, but do have a
monitor for good teaching and children’s DVDS. Basically, the choices our children have
throughout the day are endless and since they don’t have the distraction of radio or TV,
all of their choices are fine with us. They can listen to teaching CDs, read books off our
shelves, work on their curriculum, help with chores or little ones, etc.

All in all, we are content knowing that we are in the center of God’s will by home
educating our children. We use “peace” in our home as the gauge of a successful home
schooling day, not how much we have accomplished in a curriculum. We are confident
that God has ordered our day, no matter how many distractions we have, or how many
times we have had to start and stop our day.

I hope this is an encouragement to you to concentrate on character development (that


includes what assignments they are given in their curriculum), and don’t sweat the areas
they are not gifted in. (Math or English, for example) Make sure their love of learning
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isn’t squelched because of a faceoff with an academic subject. As they get older, be
discerning of what their interests are and really pour it on in that area. They only have to
be excellent at one thing, not mediocre in a lot of areas. Give them a working knowledge
of the rest, and also teach them how to use resources to find the answers to things they
find hard to remember. (English Handbooks for Grammar, encyclopedias for Science and
History, calculators for Math, etc.) I always remind myself that whenever I go to the
doctor, and they are stumped about something I have, they excuse themselves and go into
their office where all their BOOKS are, and look it up. They are the doctor because they
have the BOOKS. They don’t know everything in their heads, but they know what books
to look at when they are stumped. That is what we are teaching our children to do also.

Use God’s standards as your standard for evaluating your family life. If Jesus were to
come into your home, would He be pleased? Would His heart be blessed because
everyone was loving the baby? Would He find peace there? Would He find a family that
was devoted to His Word and His work? Does your heart rejoice in God, your Savior, and
the blessing of a houseful of His richest blessings…your children? Contentment is the
test. Holiness, justice, mercy, grace and truth are our curriculum.”

I just love these words of encouragement! What a great reminder about WHY we
are homeschooling, and what really matters.

This quote from Diana Hopkins, author of Happy Homeschooling, sums up how to know
if you are doing enough in your homeschool:

“We want to pass on our heartfelt values to our children, and as Christians that's usually
the ultimate reason we decide to homeschool. Somehow we all come to the point where
we realize that someone else is impressing their values on our priceless children: that we
are being robbed of the most important privilege of parenthood. Homeschool begins
because we are unhappy with what we see happening to our children's values daily in the
public/private school. Somewhere in the piles of books and assignments of
homeschool, we forget that our original complaint has been wonderfully solved. We
begin to worry instead about keeping up academically. Even if we are only able to keep
our children pure and unspotted by having them in homeschool, we would be successful
beyond our wildest dreams! Nothing is more important than learning to be faithful and
true to the Lord. But, some of the academics will rub off, along with love of brothers and
sisters and parents, joy at being together daily, a zeal for learning, and many other Christ-
like attributes. When homeschool seems overwhelming, return to your original
reasons. Are you accomplishing what you set out to do? If it was to remove your child
from an ungodly environment, has homeschool done that? Is your child's testimony and
personal purity increasing since you began to teach them? Finally, is homeschool keeping
your children unspotted from the world? If so, it is succeeding!”

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Frugal Ways To Save Money on Homeschool Curriculum

If you have been homeschooling for very long, you are already aware that curriculum
can be expensive, and even more so if you have a large family.

Homeschooling eight children over 31 years, I was always looking for ways to save
money on curriculum.

9 Frugal tips to help you save money on homeschool curriculum:

1. Plan ahead.

Know what you are going to teach each child, and what you actually NEED. If
you aren't careful, and don't have an organized plan of what resources are
required for each child, you can spend more than you need. On the other hand, if
you have a plan for each child, you know exactly which items to find.

2. Watch for sales and deals.

Many publishers offer a discount or free shipping when you order from them at a
homeschool conference. Others offer free shipping with online purchases when
you spend a certain amount, etc. Do your homework and compare not only
prices, but also the shipping costs.

Many companies run a sale yearly, and if you find out when their sale is, you can
plan to shop then. If the publishers you buy from are on Facebook, follow their
page so you know when they are offering discounts and deals. It's also good to
sign up for their emails for the same purpose.

3. Buy used curriculum online.

I have bought many of our resources on Amazon, and though they were used,
many of them were like new but at a fraction of the original cost.

There are also Facebook groups that sell used curriculum at discounted prices.
Here are just a few of them that I have used:

Homeschooler Market -- Buy, sell, trade


Homeschool Buy Sell Trade

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Homeschool Curriculum Marketplace

4. Check out thrift stores like Savers or Goodwill.

You may be surprised at the books you can find at these stores! I have found
textbooks there several times for only $1, as well as books that are needed for
some of the kids' reading assignments.

5. Use free materials.

I see FREEBIES for homeschoolers on the internet almost every day. Here are
two of my favorite sites for finding freebies and discounts:

Free Homeschool Deals


Homeschool Giveaways & Freebies

Don’t forget your local public library can be a very valuable resource! Many
curriculums require readers for English, History, or Science that can be borrowed
for free. There are even resources for mathematical concepts that can be very
helpful. Don’t just look for books, many libraries also offer educational videos and
CDs. Even if you don’t have a modern library facility nearby, you can often use
Interlibrary Loan to order books from farther away areas. Depending on your
local restrictions, some books can be kept out for up to six weeks.

6. Use digital curriculum.

It is much cheaper to purchase digital curriculum than printed curriculum, and the
quality is often just as good. The best way to use it is to keep your tablet or
laptop available, and have the kids read their lessons directly from the device.
Print any work sheets they need to complete after reading their lessons. This
saves you from having to print the entire curriculum.

Another GREAT benefit is the money you can save if you have multiple kids. If
the print version is consumable you'd have to buy another one for each child.
With digital copies, once you purchase the download you can print pages as
needed for different kids.

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7. Re-use or sell your old curriculum.

I saved curriculum from older kids to use with younger ones. Sometimes the
curriculum an older sibling loved and did well with, just didn't work with a younger
sibling, but whenever possible, we passed it on down the line.

One of the easiest ways to afford curriculum is to sell any of your old homeschool
items that you no longer need. If you're sure it's not something you may want
later, or it's something that you didn't like, don't just leave it on your shelves when
you can make money from it to use towards something you will use.

8. Look for mark downs on damaged items.

Many curriculum sellers have a bargain section for books that are slightly bent or
beat up. Check their website for a clearance or damaged good section.

9. Don't buy the teacher's guide unless you really feel you need it.

When I first started homeschooling, I wanted to do everything just right, and


would follow each and every lesson plan as provided. With time, I learned how to
make the curriculum work with our family, and got confident enough that I didn't
feel that I always had to purchase the teacher's guide.

Happy shopping and SAVING!

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Don't Let Math Ruin Your Homeschool
If you have a child who just DOESN'T GET IT when it comes to math, it's easy to let
math ruin your homeschool!

My kids had various abilities in math. Some had a natural grasp of it; others weren't
exactly a whiz but were able to get it with a little help.

Then there was the child who had some learning problems when it came to math. It took
me awhile to realize that it wasn't ME, and it wasn't necessarily the curriculum. She just
struggled with the abstract, so math didn't make any sense to her at all.

As I was working with her, it became apparent to me that she was a child who would
never be GREAT at math. I made it my goal to teach her the basic math facts, the four
operations, and how to use a calculator!

I didn’t want her to HATE learning, and I didn’t want math to become the subject that
ruined our relationship.

I’d like to say that I was always a patient, calm mom with her. The truth is that I often
found myself getting frustrated with her. I hated that no matter HOW I explained
things, or which manipulatives we used, she still struggled.

After too many days of letting math ruin our homeschool, I made some changes and
took some steps to keep math from being a daily source of stress for her AND me!

Tips for those who have a child who struggles with math:

 Drill them on their math facts consistently – EVERY day.

When I saw my daughter was still using her fingers to calculate answers, I
stopped everything in math to focus on mastering the facts. I couldn’t expect her
to be able to do well in multiplication or division when she still hadn’t mastered
her addition and subtraction facts.

I used Wrap Ups to help her master her facts, and then I used Quarter Mile Math
to review the facts she had learned and needed to practice regularly.

 Realize they need LOTS and LOTS of repetition and review to finally remember
any new concepts.

When we worked on long division (or ANY new concept) my daughter had to do
several problems in a row. The next day she had to do it again, and then the next

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day, etc. If we missed a day after she had first learned how to do the new
kind of problem, I’d have to go back to day one again.

Realizing this kept me VERY diligent in making sure I spent time with her every
day doing math. Since math doesn’t make sense to the math-challenged child,
it’s not something they love and therefore remember easily.

 Learn what their daily math tolerance limit is, as well as YOUR tolerance.

By 3rd or 4th grade, I realized my daughter could only handle about half of a
daily math lesson. If we tried to go much longer than that, she usually would
have a meltdown. If she didn’t, I sometimes would! She would hit a point
where nothing else registered, or she was frustrated and needed a break.

 NEVER let math, or any subject, trump the importance of the relationship!

There were times when I was going to push through until she got it, and it hurt
our relationship. That’s when I realized that we needed to take a break, and stop
BEFORE we got to that point.

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Homeschooling is about relationships and keeping our kids’ hearts. I don’t want
to EVER let a roadblock with an academic subject hurt that relationship.

 Take a break from a concept if you seem to be hitting a wall with it.

Sometimes a child just isn’t quite ready for long division, or some other math
concept. Just because it’s next in the book doesn’t mean you HAVE to do it
right then. Take a break if it’s not working, and go to multiplication for a switch.
Often, when you return to that area later, they are able to grasp it more easily.

 Don’t let the curriculum be your master, but rather your guide.

The child who is struggling with math isn’t going to keep up the way your other
kids may have with the same curriculum. Use it as a tool to help you, and adjust
as needed to make it work for both of you. Don’t worry if it takes two years to get
through the one-year curriculum. Mastery is the goal, and you shouldn’t move on
until that goal has been met.

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It can get discouraging or frustrating to deal with a child who struggles regularly with
math. Don’t let it become the dreaded foe. Take the steps necessary so math won't
ruin your homeschool day or your relationship with your child.

Above all, pray and ask God to give you the wisdom and patience you need, and
to give your child the understanding he/she needs.

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Tips for Multi-level Teaching
Teaching several children of different ages and grade levels will take some extra
planning, and on some days may seem impossible, or overwhelming.

We homeschooled our eight kids, so I can relate to the feelings of being overwhelmed!
However, with some planning and preparing not only is multi-level teaching possible,
but you can also help your kids progress academically, while still keeping a semblance
of order in your home.

Tips for managing multi-level teaching:

 Remember what you are trying to accomplish.

For most of us the goal is to instill Godly values in our children, and to teach
them the skills needed to become productive adults. Sometimes we get so
bogged down by all the lesson plans, curriculum choices, and books that we lose
sight of that goal.

Don't let academics take precedence over the goal of instilling Godly
values in your kids! Character is foundational to everything, and we must work
on character before academics.

 Get organized, and schedule your day.

Your homeschool will only be as good as your ability to discipline yourself. Make
a firm resolve to sacrifice your time and discipline yourself to give your kids the
best education – spiritually and academically. Set up a schedule/routine for your
days so you will be in control, rather than the circumstances or mood of the day
determining what is or isn't getting done.

At the same time, realize that every day will be different. What works today may
not work tomorrow, so be flexible.

 Teach as many subjects jointly as you can.

Obviously, you can't do this with phonics and beginning math. However, you can
have Bible, Character, Science, and History together. Adjust the requirements for
each child based on age and ability. Younger kids fill in blanks as I teach, while
the older ones take notes. Or I might assign younger ones to answer multiple
choice questions showing they have learned what was taught, while the older
ones will have to write a paper about it, or take a test.

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There are several different ways to teach subjects jointly, and you can (and
should!) choose what works best for your family. It depends on the ages of your
children, and what methods work best for them and you. Some curriculums, such
as ‘My Father’s World’, are specifically designed for multi-level teaching.

 Teach them to be independent learners.

If you have different subjects for each child, AND you have to teach each one of
them, and work with them on their subjects, you aren't going to last. The goal is
to teach them to learn how to find answers, and learn for themselves. You
are there to answer questions, and guide them, but you shouldn't have to sit and
do all their work with them. (Other than beginning students who are still learning
phonics and early math.)

 Take advantage of educational DVDs, software, websites and videos.

You can get great DVDs for Science and History. Streaming video sources like
YouTube, Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Hulu are also now available and offer a
wealth of educational content. Your kids can watch them and learn while you are
free to work with other children, take care of babies or toddlers, or fix a meal.

You can get fun computer games that are educational. We have used Quarter
Mile for math drills instead of me doing flash cards with all the elementary kids.
For Phonics, I used Alpha-phonics, in addition to our lessons. There were also
some Reader Rabbit games we used, that reinforced reading and math skills.
Today there are many educational websites that can be helpful and time saving.

 Limit outside activities.

Realize that you are in a season of life that is demanding, as you juggle being a
mom while also being the teacher. If you are too busy running to extra activities
all the time, you end up neglecting your priorities, as well as getting irritable from
always being on the go. Things that are important to you get neglected, and then
you feel guilty. Realize you can only do so much in a day, and choose wisely.

 Break activities into small time slots for your younger children, and
alternate it with sit down work, and fun active things.

Take short breaks to spend time with the baby and/or toddler. It refreshes you,
and makes them feel included and loved.

Probably the most important thing is that you take time to enjoy the kids! Don't get
so busy rushing from subject to subject, or child to child, that you fail to enjoy time with
them. It's easy to get so serious that we get stressed at anything that slows us down. As
a result, we get impatient with them, and miss some opportunities to just enjoy being
with them, and talking to them, or listening to what they have to say.

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How Do I Get It All Done?!
Do you often end the day feeling a little bit discouraged or defeated, feeling like you
haven't accomplished much of what you thought you needed to complete? Do you
ever wonder if, and how you will EVER be able to get it all done?

This is a common feeling for homeschooling moms, and something I struggled with
often. Then to make things worse, I would look at other homeschool moms who seemed
to have it all together, and wondered why they seemed to get it all done, but I couldn't!

Many times over the years, I struggled with frustration, because I felt like I could never
get everything done. Part of the problem was my unrealistic expectations about
homeschooling. Being realistic while setting goals, helps with that frustration.

The key is realizing that you CANNOT do it ALL! You have to choose wisely, and
seek God's wisdom for each day.

I love the verse in Proverbs 16:3:

Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.

I remember when difficult circumstances came, and I wasn't able to keep up with things
I wanted to do, or had been doing. Discouragement led me to feel like I was a bad mom,
a bad wife, and a bad Christian. I felt I wasn't doing a good job with the kids' education,
my house was a mess, and my kids were kind of out of control. I knew I needed to do
something to change things and get back on track, but I didn't know where to start.

There wasn't enough time to do ALL of it, and for me, doing part wasn't good enough. It
was ALL or nothing. However, God showed me that I needed to start somewhere, and
do one thing at a time. He also showed me that I really don't have to do it ALL. I needed
to seek His wisdom for my choices.

3 STEPS TO BEGIN MANAGING YOUR TIME MORE EFFECTIVELY:


1. Make a list of all the things causing you to feel frustrated and discouraged.

For example: Is it your dirty house that really bothers you? Or, is it that your kids
are out of control? Do you feel you're not spending time with God like you
should? Write down all the things that are concerning you.

2. Make a list of your priorities and goals.

When you first started homeschooling, what were your reasons? What were you
hoping to accomplish? What was at the top of your priority list?

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3. Compare the two lists.

Often you will find that the things you are stressing about, or feeling discouraged
about, aren't even on your list of priorities and goals. They are just distractions.

For example: We can get SO caught up in curriculum and school books, that we
forget about teaching our children to have Godly character and sharing our
values with them.

After comparing the lists, you will have a better idea of what things you need to
start trying to work on, and which ones should be at the top of your priority list.

IDEAS TO MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR TIME TO ACCOMPLISH PRIORITIES AND GOALS:

 Post a list of your priorities in a place where you'll see it often and daily do
the most important thing first.

If you only get ONE thing finished, you will have done the most important thing!

For example: If you have been neglecting your daily time with God & His Word,
then that should be one of the day's top priorities. By the way, if you put God first
every day, you'll find that the rest of the day will go better.

 Make a routine/schedule.

Put "essential priorities" in your schedule to make sure they happen! Even if you
have days where you can't follow your schedule because of unexpected
circumstances, at least you'll be accomplishing the important things most of the
time. Your kids will also function better with a routine to guide their days. They
are happier when they know what to expect daily and your school time will be
more productive as well.

 Be flexible.

Yes, I just said to have a schedule, but it's important to remember that the
schedule is a tool to guide you. It's not your master!

In the morning, give your plans and time to God. If He chooses to change things
for you, you'll accept it better, knowing He is in control.

 Try to finish one task before going on to the next.

It's easy to get distracted, and begin one job, then jump to another one,
eventually leaving you with several unfinished projects. It helps if you break your
jobs down into smaller tasks.

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For example: Don't write down clean the kitchen. Instead make a list of what that
involves, like wiping counters, sweeping the floor, cleaning the refrigerator, etc.
Each of those will only take a small amount of time, and can be done when you
have little breaks in the day. If I list the job as a whole, I will put off starting it
"until I have enough time" to do it all.

 Enlist the help of your children.

Kids actually love helping when they are young, but often we don't want to take
the time to teach them to do a job correctly. Start when they are young, with little
tasks they can handle, or let them help you with something and learn as they go.
Teach them how to be responsible and do a job well. Their future spouse will
thank you!

 Be realistic in your expectations about your house.

When you homeschool, your house is going to look like a homeschool house!
There will always be toys, books, and kids around. Accept that your house is
NOT going to look like your friend's house with kids going away to school every
day. Keep the house clean, and have times when everyone picks up, but don't
expect your house to look like interior decorating magazine House Beautiful.

When your kids are grown, you won't look back and say "I wish I'd spent more
time cleaning, instead of playing with my kids!"

When you are feeling overwhelmed, and like you just have more to do than you
can handle, take it one day at a time. What does God want you to do today?

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Are You Doing Too Much In Your Homeschool?
Many homeschooling moms wonder, and worry about, whether they are doing enough
in their homeschool. Though this is a common concern, it's also important to
recognize signs that indicate you may be doing TOO MUCH in your homeschool.

Often in an attempt to make sure we are doing enough, we over compensate and end
up doing too much. The kids are involved in co-ops, music lessons, sports, etc. None of
these are bad in themselves, but too many at the same time can be overkill.

Signs that you are doing too much in your homeschool:

 You regularly neglect priorities/goals because you’re too busy to do them.

Most of us homeschool because we want to teach our kids our values; we want
to point them to God and His Word while helping them develop Godly character.
These original goals often get pushed aside as we get caught up in curriculum
choices, piles of books, and extra activities.

After moms have heard me speak about character training and the importance of
having a daily Bible time with our kids, some have said to me: "I hardly have
enough time to get through all the school books every day. How can I find time to
add Bible and character?"

My response to this:

When we give God first place in our day, and start the day by reading His Word,
and working on character lessons that will make us more like Him, He blesses
the remaining part of the day. You will find that even though you have given up
some of your time, the time that is left will be more productive.

If you don't have time to start your day focusing on God's Word and character,
you are doing too much.

 You are always stressed and overwhelmed.

Homeschooling IS hard, and there are days when you feel overwhelmed with the
responsibility. Kids of different ages, with different needs, all need YOU. You may
feel it's too much to help them all. That's when it is time to step back and simplify.
Go back to the basics and focus on mastery in those areas. You can also
consider not doing every subject every day to make things less overwhelming.

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Above all, talk with your spouse about your goals. Pray together and ask God
to show you which extras you might need to let go at the time. Step back
from some things, allowing you can focus fully on the ones that matter most.

 School work takes ALL DAY.

If you are doing school work with the kids from breakfast until dinner, you are
probably doing too much.

With younger grades, schoolwork shouldn't take more than an hour or two. Their
attention span is short, and they don't need a lot of busy work. Spend time on
phonics and some math, but don't make them sit for hours doing lots of extras.

We want our kids to enjoy learning; too much too early will cause them to lose
that love of learning we want to instill.

With older kids, I suggest giving them their required work and letting them
set up their own schedule. They are usually more motivated to get it done
when they feel in control of their learning and their schedule.

What if you have a dawdler or child who just takes FOREVER doing their work?

Know their abilities, and how to best motivate them to get their work done. Don't
let it stress you. Give them the work, explain it, and do something else while they
are working on it. Remind them that when they are done, they get to go play
outside, or play with their favorite toy, etc. Positive encouragement is always
better than negativity.

 You don't have regular family time.

Sitting together at a table doing school work does NOT constitute family time!
You should have time daily to do things as a family -- play games, read books, go
for a walk, bake together, or simply just sit and talk together.

If you never have time for those things, you are doing TOO MUCH.

 Your kids don't really have any free time.

Kids learn best by playing, exploring, and using their imagination. When we keep
them so busy doing school work, and scheduled activities, that they don't have
time to just be kids, we are doing too much.

Kids need lots of free time built into their day. Let them play, do art projects, read
books, listen to audio stories, etc.

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As your kids get a little older, they still need free time to pursue their interests.
Give them time to practice the instrument they want to play, or to read books
about a topic they are really excited about.

 You don't have time to read aloud to the kids.

Do you know your kids are really never too old for this?

They can learn so much from the different books you read, while also learning to
enjoy books. Reading aloud develops a love for learning like no other single
activity, and a close bond develops between you and your kids as you snuggle
on the couch and read together.

Do not let reading aloud to your kids get pushed aside by busyness!

Are you doing too much in your homeschool?

You can do too little, but I think it's more common to try to do too MUCH. It's really all
about balance.

Ask God for wisdom to help you find the perfect balance for your family.

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Struggling through Curriculum and Scheduling Concerns!

Helpful Links:

7 Signs That You're Too Busy

10 Tips For First Time Obedience

Alpha-phonics

Free Homeschool Deals

Homeschool Buy Sell Trade

Homeschool Curriculum Marketplace

Homeschool Giveaways & Freebies

Homeschooler Market -- Buy, sell, trade

Joyce Herzog, Ability Based Learning

Quarter Mile Math

Who Has Time To Be Spiritual?

Why You Need To Win Your Child's Heart

Wrap Ups: 10 Days to Math Mastery

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Chapter 3:
Secrets for Success!

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The Secret to Success in Your Homeschool
Do you know the secret to success in your homeschool?

Success doesn't come from great academic achievements, or the gaining of lots of
knowledge, although some put a lot of value on those things. The secret to success in
your homeschool is thinking about and meditating on God's Word.

This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate
therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is
written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt
have good success. (Joshua 1:8)

As homeschooling parents, one of our highest priorities should be teaching our kids to
think God's thoughts! Getting God's Word in their minds lays the foundation on which all
our other teaching is to be built. True wisdom is thinking God's thoughts, so our greatest
goal should not be giving our kids knowledge, but giving them wisdom. Wisdom
prepares them to be discerning about the knowledge they will receive.

How do we help our kids think God's thoughts? We obviously can't control their
thinking! The secret to helping our kids think God's thoughts is to fill their hearts and
minds with God's Word.

How to get God’s word in our kids’ hearts and minds:

 Read it to them.

Some people think the Bible will be boring to kids, or that they won't understand
it. At a young age, they probably won't really understand all of it, but you can
choose passages that will be a bit easier for young ones. Read it with
expression, and explain the hard parts to them. Apply what you read to their life,
so it has practical meaning.

For parts of the Bible that have a story, you can TELL it to them in story form,
bringing the actions to life. Use your voice to make it exciting!

Another option is to have them listen to it through a Bible app that reads the
passages with expression and voice inflection. If they are old enough to read,
have them follow along in their Bible.

 Encourage the habit of daily Bible reading, as soon as they can read.

One of the most important habits you can teach your kids is the habit of daily
reading the Bible. God's Word cleanses, guides, and keeps us from sin.

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We work at developing habits of cleanliness in our kids, like brushing their
teeth. It’s much more important to develop the habit of spending time in God's
Word daily!

When your kids first start learning to read, get them excited about the fact that
they will be able to read God's Word on their own soon! Make a BIG deal of
it. Kids get excited about what we get excited about!

Be sure they see you reading your Bible daily, so they realize it is important to
you. Our example influences them so much more than our words.

 Memorize God's Word with them.

This is the BEST WAY to get God's Word to STAY in their thoughts - - hide it in
their hearts! It takes some work and time to memorize Scripture with your kids,
but as the Psalmist says in Psalm 119:11:

Thy word have I hid in my heart, that I might not sin against thee.

Having God's Word in their heart will keep them from sin; get excited about that!

MAKE IT FUN! We memorized passages together regularly with our kids. Here
are some of the things we did to make it more fun and interesting:

 Say the verses with expression

 Make pictures to go with them

 Make hand motions to go with them

 Write the verses on a dry erase board, then erase more and more
words until they could say it with no words on the board

 Make charts, and give the kids a sticker for their chart when they can
quote the whole passage

 Sing the verses

One of the easiest ways to memorize verses is by singing them. Songs stick in
the memory and you find the songs coming to you unexpectedly. When our kids
were younger, we sang Scripture songs every day. It thrilled me to hear them
walking around the house singing God's Word!

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Kids have great memories and they can memorize so much easier when they are
young. Their minds are like a dry sponge, and what we pour in they soak up.
Why not pour lots of Scripture in and fill those minds with God's thoughts?

 Correct and train with Scripture.

There were many times when I looked at discipline as an interruption, and got
frustrated about it. However, God showed me that when my kids displayed wrong
behavior, attitudes, or actions it was an OPPORTUNITY to take them to His
Word, and help them with the heart issue that was causing the wrong behavior.

Take advantage of those opportunities, and don't get frustrated because you
have to stop what you are doing to correct and train.

Don't let academics become a distraction, or take priority over the Bible.

Keep God's Word first, and teach your kids to think God's thoughts, then you'll be on
your way to success in your homeschool!

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The Vital Ingredient for Academic Success
As homeschooling parents, we want to be sure that our kids get a good education
academically, and have the knowledge that they need when they graduate. We want to
give them the best education we can; however, some kids struggle more than others
with academics, don't they?

Do you know the one vital ingredient needed for homeschool success?

Character.

When your children have good character, they will do MUCH better academically.

The reason many kids struggle with academics is because they are missing that vital
ingredient. Perhaps they haven't learned to be attentive, or they aren't obedient. Without
obedience or attentiveness, they are going to struggle to learn any academic subject.
Diligence and initiative are also important character traits that will help children do better
academically. As parents, we must realize the importance of teaching and training our
children in the area of character.

There is a character crisis in our society today, and we need to get excited about the
opportunity that we have daily in our homeschools to nurture character in our kids.

Teaching our children at home is so much more than reading, writing and arithmetic.
Yet, often academics distract us from the more important work, and we neglect the
character training. As a result, we end up frustrated and stressed as we try to teach kids
who are struggling because they lack the character they need.

If our children end up being very intelligent with lots of knowledge, but they don't have
wisdom, we have failed. And if our child finishes two math lessons, but does them with a
bad attitude, that's not success. It is better that a child do half of a lesson with a good
attitude, than extra lessons with a bad attitude. Ultimately, character is most important.

Many parents really want to teach character, but don't quite know how. The important
thing is to have a plan, and just get started.

PRACTICAL TIPS TO HELP YOU SET UP A PLAN TO TEACH CHARACTER:

 Start early with a lifestyle designed with purpose.

Have a clearly defined target for your children's growth: Where do you want them
to be by the time they are 18, and how are you going to get them there?

Don't wait until something is a problem to figure out how you're going to handle
that situation. Plan ahead, and be prepared.

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As for your priorities, God makes it clear what our goals should be for training our
children in II Peter 1:5:

… add to your faith virtue (character), and to virtue knowledge.

This makes it very clear that we need to work on building their faith, and building
their character BEFORE we add the academics.

 Teach kids to think God’s thoughts.

Godly character begins on the inside with a close relationship with Jesus, so we
must teach our kids to think God's thoughts. We must build their faith.

 Choose a specific goal/trait on which to focus.

 Focus on that trait for a week or two with intentional practical lessons.

 Pray that you'll exemplify the trait you’ve selected.

As parents, we MUST practice what we teach! Our kids are watching how we
live, and will imitate us. Be willing to submit to God's training in YOUR life, as you
teach your kids character.

 Correct their behaviors consistently.

 Measure and check progress.

We used character charts to help us look for effort and progress, and so as not to
always see the bad. Noticing their efforts encourages children to keep trying.

 Encourage often.

 Don't expect everything at once.

Remember that character training is a process that takes time. That's why God
gave us our kids for at least 18 years!

 Keep motivated and focused on priorities with good books and resources.
Click here to download a free printable of these steps to keep as a reminder.

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Characteristics Of Highly Successful Homeschool Moms
All of us start homeschooling with the desire to be successful homeschool moms. We
want to do well in our endeavors to teach our kids and prepare them for life. It can be a
daunting task, and is a huge responsibility! Thankfully, there are some common
characteristics that we can model among those who succeed.

Characteristics of highly successful homeschool moms:

 A daily commitment to walk with God

Our daily strength as homeschooling moms comes from our relationship with the
Lord. It is in that relationship that we gain His strength and wisdom to guide
those little lives that have been entrusted to our care.

No matter how busy you are, you need to make time to walk with God, and be in
His Word. This is what lays the foundation for our lives as homeschool moms.

 A teachable spirit

Being teachable helps us grow and be more effective in our homeschooling.


When we become unteachable, we stop growing! Don’t be afraid to ask for
ideas or help, and ALWAYS ask yourself what you can learn from others.

 An enjoyment of being with their children

Homeschooling is a lifestyle, and we are with our kids pretty much all the time.
It's vital that we enjoy our kids, and enjoy spending time with them. We need a
love that is deep and willing to give for them. You should laugh together, talk to
them, be interested in their interests, and listen to them with your heart.

This is the best part of homeschooling. It gives us time to develop a relationship


with our children, and the ability to win their hearts.

 Self-confidence

You must believe that with God’s help not only can you teach your kids, but that
you are the BEST teacher for them:

 You know them best, and know if they’re really trying.


 You love them more than any teacher would.
 You can evaluate their work based on ability and effort, not their intelligence.

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 You can challenge them at their level, but without unnecessary frustration.
If God has called you to the task, He WILL enable you. Our self-confidence
comes from that knowledge; we’re not alone! Don't feel you have to wait until
you're all prepared and feel qualified. Preparation is really a spiritual matter.

You are prepared enough if you can answer ‘yes’ to these questions:

 Do I want to do the will of God in educating my children, whatever it may be?


 Do I have my child's best interest at heart?
 Am I teachable and willing to let the Lord lead me, and to abandon my own
well-laid plans if necessary?
 Am I dedicated?

 Self-discipline

Your homeschool will only be as successful as your ability to discipline yourself!

We only have 18 years to prepare our children for life; that is a big responsibility.
We must be willing to discipline ourselves to put the time and effort into planning,
and following through. This means we must discipline ourselves to push
distractions away, and focus on our priorities daily.

 Organization

The frustration caused by disorganization is a major stumbling block for many


homeschoolers. Spending time organizing your time and your home may mean
the difference between your survival as a homeschooler and giving up.

An organized home, and life, makes your goals easier to attain.

Having a routine, or flow to your days, helps keep your days organized. Your kids
should know what to expect daily, and have a "rut to run in." Having a routine
brings order to your day, while also training your kids in character.

 Purpose

Have a purpose and goals for your homeschool. When you do, you are able to
establish priorities each day to make sure you are heading toward those goals.

Without purpose or goals, you end up discouraged and off-track. We must


have purpose and vision to be successful in our homeschooling.

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God has entrusted HIS children to us as His caretaker for a few years. We are
under divine obligation to train our children in the way they should go. It is our job
and responsibility that they grow up to love the Lord, and have Godly character.

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Plan A Successful School Year With These Easy Steps
There's something exciting about preparing for another school year, isn't there?

At the same time, planning can be stressful. We all want a successful homeschool
year, so we agonize over which curriculum to use, the best schedule, what planner will
help us be successful, etc. I'd like to take some stress out of your planning this school
year as I share what has worked for me over the past 31 years of homeschooling.

5 Easy steps to PLAN A SUCCESSFUL HOMESCHOOL YEAR:

1. Pray! It’s the most important step in planning your school year.

This may seem obvious, but I know there were years when I was excited about
planning for the new year, and just dove in without asking God for direction. At
times I forgot to seek God, and got caught up in trying what other families were
raving about, or in trying lots of extras that friends were doing. Even though they
may have been "good things," they weren’t best for MY family. God calls each of
us to do different things; He may not call us to do something another family does.
That's why it is SO important to pray over your homeschool! Seek God, and
don't get caught in the comparison trap.

We must remember that homeschooling is a lifestyle, and involves much more


than academics. We cannot diligently train, instruct and educate our children in
our own strength or wisdom. We need God's guidance as we try to fulfill the
responsibility to raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Here are 10 Things to pray for as you prepare for your school year:
1. Wisdom to grow as you train your children and point them to Him
2. A vision and goals for your homeschool and your family
Where there is no vision, the people perish (Proverbs 29:18)
3. Guidance in making decisions about curriculum, learning styles, schedules
4. Wisdom to meet the needs of each of your children
5. That your kids will develop Godly character
6. To remember your goals, and not get distracted by other "good" things
7. To keep the relationship with your kids more important than the academics
8. That you will win the hearts of your children
9. That each of your kids will grow in wisdom and knowledge

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10. That you will daily point your kids to God by your example and teaching
The best resource for our prayers is the Word of God. His Word has the answer
to any situation you face in your homeschooling. God's Word is powerful, and
when we pray according to Scripture, He will give us the answer or help we need.

When you aren't sure you can do it, find verses to encourage you and pray those
verses right back to God. If you're getting weary and discouraged, find a verse to
claim that will encourage you. Keep a list of verses on hand throughout your
school year, and pray them as needed. Here is a list of some of my favorites.

As you begin the important task of planning for your new school year (or
continuing your school year), make a commitment to bathe your homeschool in
prayer! Then watch and see what God will do.

2. Choose Homeschool Goals for Success

Have you taken the time to think about, and write down, your homeschool goals?
You must first identify your goals in order to determine if you are accomplishing
the goals God has given you for homeschooling.

Goals give a purpose to your days and keep you focused to be successful. While
praying over your year, go to God's Word for your goals. The Bible is our guide
book, and it gives a clear list of what our goals should be in II Peter 1:5:

… add to your faith, virtue (or character), and to virtue, knowledge.

Our Biblical Homeschool Goals for Success:

 Build our children’s faith.

It is important that we teach our kids about God and His Word. We should try
to help them develop a love for God, and a desire to please Him. We want to
prepare them to serve Him above all, and to do that we need to get His Word
in their hearts and minds. That will build their faith.

Start your day with a quiet time with God, and have all the kids who can read
have their own quiet time as well. Have them spend a few minutes reading
God’s Word and praying before or after breakfast. Have the non-readers look
at a picture Bible or Bible story books during this time.

This helps them see the importance of starting their day with God’s Word.
The younger kids will also feel like they are “big” like the older siblings who
are reading God’s word.

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 Build our children’s character.

Daily character lessons are an important way to teach our children what
Godly character looks like, and is an opportunity to show them from God’s
Word how they can grow in those areas. Godly character also sets your kids
up for success in life.

Character should be the foundation laid BEFORE teaching academics, as


character is vital for academic success. Your kids will do better with school
work when they have learned to be attentive, obedient, diligent, etc.

I love the way that author David Ballman says it in his book The How and
Why of Homeschooling:

“True education seeks to train not just the mind, but also the heart and soul. This is
what we call character training. The most important area of instruction is not
academics, but the development of Godly character. If a person has great intellectual
knowledge but little Godly character, his life will not have much positive impact upon
the world in which he lives. Development of character is critical to the proper growth
and maturation of a young child. Home educators are returning to the crucial
development and nurture of character. The most important task of the educator is to
prepare his students for life. And the best way to prepare a student for life is to teach,
model, and promote the development of Godly character. Character training is
the most important and most laudable activity for a teacher to be engaged in. If
a student is taught nothing else save character alone, he will be better prepared for life
than those who are taught pure academics but no character.”

 Teach them academics.

God says that knowledge (or academics) is third on the list of priorities. While
I believe it is our responsibility as homeschooling parents to be sure our kids
receive a good education academically, we also need to be careful not to let
academics become a distraction from our top priorities.

Take your job seriously as you teach your children. Spend time preparing to
be sure they learn what they need to learn so that they are prepared for life.

Keep these goals in mind as you make your school plans. They will give you
guidance and direction, helping you to stay focused on the choices that lead
to a successful homeschool.

3. Choose your yearly homeschool schedule

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A Facebook survey asking “what kind of yearly homeschool schedule do you
follow?” revealed a variety of responses, but a common thread throughout the
comments was the importance of working the yearly schedule around "life".
New babies, things not going as planned, medical issues, or just taking time off
when needed were some of the answers provided regarding what things were
considered when choosing a yearly homeschool schedule.

Isn't that one of the things that makes homeschooling so great?

Most states require 180 days of school per year, but you can choose the
schedule that works best for your family, whether it is year round, traditional,
or a combination of days/weeks on and off that meet the requirement. I love the
different options and have used several at different stages of our homeschooling.

Choices and ideas for setting up your schedule for the year:
• Thirty-six five day weeks
Traditional school year, though you choose the start and end months
• Twelve five day weeks, then four weeks off
Three months of school, then a month off
• Six five day weeks, then two weeks off
Six two-month blocks per school year
• Three five day weeks, then one week off each month
Year round, you choose which week to take off each month
• Forty-five four day weeks
Allows three-day weekends, and seven weeks off per year as you choose

Even when we did a traditional school year from September to May, we usually
still did a little bit of academics during the summer months.

Doing so was very beneficial for the following reasons:


 It’s good to continue Math all summer, even if only two or three days a week
 Don’t have to review forgotten information when starting school in the fall
 It’s good to keep reading and doing a little writing for the same reason
 You want to keep skills sharp
 Reading is SO good for them
 It’s good to keep them used to a little bit of structure and routine

Overall, it keeps the children happier if they are busy, and don’t have time to get
bored. It’s also easier for them to get back into the school routine in the fall when
they have had somewhat of a routine throughout the summer.
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Be sure to pray about your yearly schedule choice, and then choose based
on what is best for your family.

4. Plan Your Homeschool Day with These Tips:

Planning your homeschool day is one of the most important things you can do to
prepare for a successful school year. To fail to plan is to plan to fail.

 Choose between a routine and a schedule.

Decide whether you are going to operate on a schedule with set times, or
more of a routine.

I found it worked better for us to schedule things in blocks of time, rather than
in specific time increments. Thus, we had what I call a loose schedule. When
we got up, we started with the same routine each day.

For example: Before breakfast everyone had their quiet time. After breakfast
we had a Bible time and Scripture memory, then a character lesson. After that
we had a big chunk of time for academics. (This included doing daily chores.)
We got the most important things done first that way.

The kids learned the routine and the flow of each day, and if we got
interrupted, or one subject took longer than expected, we just continued on
with the flow – minus the pressure of “being behind schedule.”

 Start with priorities.

Often unexpected things come up in a day, keeping us from completing all


that we hoped to get done. That is why it is so important to plug your
priorities into the first part of your day.

As mentioned previously, the first part of our day should be focused on


building our kids’ faith, building their character, and THEN on academics.

When you give God the first part of your day and focus on the Bible and
Godly character, God will bless the time that remains for academics.

Even though this may mean you have less overall time for academics and
you don't seem to get as much done, you have accomplished what is most
important for the day.

Starting the day off focusing on God's Word together as a family also helps
get me and the kids off to a good start with our attitudes!

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 Focus on Core Subjects.

Math, Reading, and Writing should be the top priorities as you plan your
academic schedule. Add the other subjects in as time permits, keeping your
state requirements in mind, as well as your child's interests.

Don't feel you must do lots of extra subjects. Mastery of the core subjects is
what gives your kids a good foundation academically. This is especially
important in the early years.

Remember, more isn't always better. Keep it simple so you don't burn
yourself out, and so your kids won't lose their love of learning.

 Start slow.

Experience taught me that it’s a big mistake to jump right into EVERYTHING
on our first day of school! It was overwhelming to both me and the kids.

A better idea is to start with a couple of the main subjects, introducing the kids
to what they will be doing, their books, etc. Gradually through the first week or
two, add in the rest of the subjects they will be doing.

 Break activities into small time slots for younger children, and plan for the
little ones when scheduling your day.

Take short breaks to spend time with the baby and/or toddler; it refreshes
you, and makes them feel included and loved. Schedule your older children to
help with toddlers and babies for 30 minute intervals during the school day to
free you up to help younger children. They will love being able to play with the
little ones, and will consider it a nice break from their school work.

You can also have older children help teach phonics to a younger sibling,
listen to them read, or help them with math.

 Schedule time to work with each of your children individually, based on


their age and needs.

Teach all the children to work or play quietly while you are helping a sibling.
This is a great way to teach your kids to show consideration for their siblings
while working quietly and waiting for their turn to be helped.

While waiting, they should do the work they are able to do on their own, and
put aside the subject(s) with which they need help.

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 Include chores in the school time schedule.

It was best to have the kids do their daily chores right after they finished their
school work; otherwise, they often ended up being forgotten. (By them
AND me!) This is good character training for your kids and helps of Mom!

Decide who is doing which jobs and when. Put it on your master chore chart
and on their school charts. This makes it easier to maintain an orderly home.

 Plan outside/non-school activities around your homeschool day.

In order to do a good job teaching our kids, we need to be home during


school hours as much as possible. Sometimes it is hard to schedule doctor’s
visits around your school time, but whenever possible make appointments
later in the day. Also, try to combine the outside activities/errands on one day,
rather than cutting up several days.

 Remember that your schedule is a tool, and not your master.

Your schedule, or routine, is a great tool to help you stay on track, or give you
a rut to run in. Keep in mind that it's okay to make changes when needed, or
when you just want to do something special or extra on some days.

The purpose of having a schedule, or routine, is to guide your days, and keep
you focused on your priorities.

 Avoid interruptions during the school day as much as possible.

Turn your cell phone to silent, and leave it in the other room. Check it at set
times to be sure you haven't missed anything important from your spouse.
Not hearing incoming notifications will keep you from being distracted.

Let your friends and family know that you are “in school” until a certain time
daily, and visits are welcome any time after that set time. Not only does this
show your children that school time is important, but this will also make your
daily school time more productive.

5. Create school and chore checklists.

Creating school and chore checklists was probably the BEST thing I ever
did in our homeschool! Seriously.

Having checklists takes the stress off of YOU and puts it on the kids. They know
what is required, and you can easily check their progress.

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Why are school and chore charts or checklists so important?

 They help your kids become independent learners, while also helping
them to develop character qualities such as perseverance, responsibility,
diligence, and initiative.

 The kids can look at their school chart and see what work needs to be
accomplished for each subject, what chores they have for the day, and then
start right in on things. If Mom is busy, or isn't around for some reason, they
are still able to begin with any work they can do on their own.

 Kids do much better when they start each day knowing what is expected.
They can see what has to be done and know there is an end in sight. Being
able to mark things off as they get them done is motivating to them. (Don't
you love crossing things off your to-do list? I know I do!)

 At any time during the day, you can look at their chart to monitor progress.

 You can file the charts in a binder each week, and will have a complete
record of what the child did during that school year. All their work will be
documented on the charts, so you won't have to search for papers or try to
remember who did what.

You don't need a big fancy planner for this. These charts are super simple to
make and use.

Simple ideas for creating school and chore checklists for your kids:
 The chart I used and loved was one I designed in Microsoft Word.

I put the days of the week across the top, and the subjects or activities they
needed to do down the side. At the bottom I included a row for their daily jobs.
I included all the extra things like practicing math facts or piano, silent
reading, etc. (any extras that I wanted to be sure they did each day). I also
added a column beside the days of the week for grades.

 Details on the chart should tell kids what page(s) to read in each subject,
page numbers for worksheets they are to do, required amount of reading, etc.

 As the children complete the work, they simply put a check mark beside it.
They can see what is done, and what is left.

This keeps the kids accountable, and they won’t be able to use “I didn’t
know I was supposed to do it,” or "I forgot," as an excuse for skipping work.

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 Each of the kids had a clip board for their charts, because I found that if the
charts were loose, they tended to get lost. Each day they put their clip board
with the marked chart on my desk.

 At the end of each week I would average the score of their graded work for
each subject, and put that score (or grade) in the designated column. EASY
PEASY way to keep track of their scores, especially when they get into the
upper grades and you need them for a transcript.

 Have older kids fill out their own charts.

They can look at their books or requirements for the semester and figure out
how much they need to do each week to get it done on time. Letting them
plan their own work teaches them time management, and teaches them
how to prioritize. At the same time, they will feel like they are in control of
their education and will be more likely to work harder to stay on the schedule
that they set up for themselves.

 Set aside about an hour on the weekend to set up the charts for the kids. This
will vary based on how many children you are teaching at the same time. As
my kids all started getting older and more independent in their work, my work
load was lightened.

As you can tell, I LOVED using a school and chore chart for the kids.
They work!

The charts we used for 31 years of homeschooling are in the set shown below,
along with a few other charts, and lots of good tips as well!

In summary, the 5 easy steps for planning a successful school year are:
1. Pray over your school and your plans.
2. Pray about your goals, and write down what God shows you.
3. Choose your schedule for the year.
4. Make a plan for your homeschool day.
5. Create school and chore checklists for each child.

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Ask Questions To Keep On Track
One of the most important things you can do as a homeschooling parent is to establish
goals and priorities for your homeschool. It is equally important to measure progress
toward those goals – have questions to ask yourself at the end of each day to see if you
are keeping your priorities in place and accomplishing the goals you set out to achieve.

Begin by summarizing your personal goals as a homeschooling parent. Then list your
homeschool goals. Based on those two lists, you develop questions to help determine if
you are staying on track with your goals.

These lists will look different for all of us, but I will share mine as an example:

A summary of my personal goals:


To spend time daily with God, seeking His wisdom and strength, so I can
accomplish what I feel He has called me to do.
I realized early on in my homeschooling journey how easy it is to fall into the trap
of trying to figure things out on my own, or getting so busy that I neglected vital
time seeking His wisdom. The busier I am, the more I need to take the time to
seek His face! I know that without His strength and wisdom, I will fail.

A summary of our homeschool goals:


Build our kids' faith
Help them grow in character
Pursue their hearts, so we can have influence with them
Prepare them academically and practically for life

Questions I ask at the end of each day to keep me focused:


1. Did I prepare my heart today by spending time with God, and seeking His
wisdom?
2. Did I point my kids to God today?
3. Did I focus more on relationships than accomplishments?
4. Did I take time to laugh and have fun with the kids, nurturing our relationship?
5. Is there something I need to apologize for, or make right with any of the kids?
6. Did I spend time in activities or teaching that would build their faith?
7. Did I do some intentional character training?
8. What did I do to win or keep their hearts?
9. Did I affirm more than I corrected?
10. Did I teach and train with Scripture, rather than just scolding or correcting?
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Often I will look through these questions and be reminded of a goal being neglected. I
can choose to let that discourage me, or let it encourage me to get back on track.

Asking these questions at the end of each homeschool day is a great way to keep
focused on what really matters, as well as a helpful tool to keep you on track.

To get a FREE PRINTABLE of these questions, click: 10 Daily Homeschooling Questions.

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The Secret to Easier Homeschooling
I have often had parents ask me, "How do you do it with so many kids? How were you
able to stick with it for 31 years?!"

There was a time when homeschooling overwhelmed me; I was exhausted and
burned out. I struggled to keep up with the needs of all the kids as I tried to teach them.
However, when I learned this little secret to easy homeschooling, all of that changed!

I still had times when it was difficult and I was tired, but I was no longer constantly
overwhelmed.

The secret I learned: Teach your kids to be independent learners!

It really is possible, and it really does work.

Due to necessity with difficult pregnancies, my older kids started doing their school work
on their own. By the time they were in about fourth grade, they were working
independently. I still checked in on them, and helped occasionally as needed.

Because we had worked hard to develop good character in them, they were trustworthy
and responsible, and did very well on their own. They even ENJOYED it. They liked
being in charge of their learning, and it gave them a sense of confidence that they
could learn on their own, with the right tools.

Often we think our homeschool must mirror a public or private school, with Mom
standing up teaching the kids all their subjects, then giving them assignments to do.
This requires Mom to make lesson plans for several kids, and many subjects.

As a result, Mom ends up stressed and overwhelmed because she spends most of the
day teaching, and then tries to do lesson planning, grading, AND all of her household
duties in the evening. No wonder many homeschool moms burnout and quit!

Don't make it unnecessarily harder on yourself!

There are so many advantages to teaching your kids to be independent learners:

 More time for Mom to devote to the younger kids that still need her help

 Less planning and preparation time for Mom

 Children remember more when they are learning it on their own, rather than
being spoon-fed

 Children learn to think for themselves, and can pursue their interests

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Perhaps you are wondering how this works!

Of course when your kids are young and just starting school, you will have to be fully
involved. They can't learn phonics and reading on their own. They will also need you to
help them with basic math skills. Until they are able to read fairly well on their own, you
will be teaching them and working with them.

During that time, teach them CHARACTER!

They need to learn to obey and do what they are told to do cheerfully. They need to
learn to be responsible, and trustworthy. Once they have grown in character and
developed self-discipline, you can start gradually having them do more of their work on
their own.

You will also need some type of chart for the kids to know what they are supposed to do
daily, weekly, and for the school year. I made charts for the kids with the subjects listed,
gave them their books, and let them make goals for how they were going to finish their
work during the school year. (You can see the charts and lots of tips in my set Tips &
Charts for Stress Free Planning & Scheduling.) They loved being responsible for their
learning and being the one to set up their schedule for daily work.

For this to work, you must let the kids know your expectations. Don't just give them
the books and chart. Our kids knew they had to do a certain amount of school work
each week. If they chose to do extra for four days so they could have the fifth day off,
then that was okay.

We still chose to do some subjects together because we all enjoyed that, but
having the older kids do the rest of their work independently left me with enough time to
work with the younger learners, as well as spend time with the babies/preschoolers.

This little secret won't necessarily make your homeschooling EASY, but it will
definitely make it much EASIER!

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Secrets for Success!
Helpful Links:

3 Ways Our Kids Learn Character

4 Tips for Teaching God’s Word to Our Children

10 Homeschooling Questions to Ask Yourself Daily

10 Steps to Teaching Character to Our Kids

20 Encouraging Bible Verses For Homeschooling.

A Character Crisis

Character Charts to Encourage Growth

Character: The One Vital Ingredient for Academic Success.

Facebook: The Character Corner

Tips and Charts for Stress Free Planning and Scheduling

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Chapter 4:
Successes worth Remembering and
Retelling!

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Looking Back 31 Years as a Homeschooling Parent
Looking back, as a homeschooling parent of 31 years, I am feeling kind of introspective,
and pondering things I would do differently. Nothing huge or depressing to me, but
things I can see now that I would change if given the chance again.

IF I HAD IT TO DO OVER:
1. I would say yes more often.

2. I would smile and laugh more, rather than being so intense.

3. I wouldn't be so idealistic, but rather strive more to be more realistic in my


expectations.

4. I would have kept "tucking" my kids in and praying with them at night all the way
into and through the teen years.

5. I would work more on training the difficult child, rather than asking a more
compliant child to do things to "avoid the hassle" of dealing with the difficult one.

6. I would not compare myself to other homeschooling moms, or moms in general.

7. I would judge my homeschooling success more on how much my children have


learned wisdom, rather than on if they were "caught up" for their age/grade level.

8. I would remember that the time I spend daily teaching, training, and caring for the
children, my husband, and our home is more important than anything I didn't
accomplish on my "to do" list.

THINGS I AM GLAD I DID, AND THAT I WOULD DO ALL OVER AGAIN:


1. Homeschool all the kids all the way through grade 12.

2. Spend a lot of time on Scripture memory, and character training with them.

3. Give up a good paying secular job to stay home and raise my children, and
spend every day with them.

4. Correct the children with Scripture when wrong behavior was shown.

5. Seek Godly wisdom and counsel from those who are older and wiser.

Homeschooling days may seem long, but trust me when I tell you that the years
go by fast! Make the most of your homeschooling years!

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Things I Learned From 31 Years of Homeschooling
The week my youngest son finished the last lesson of his school year was
bittersweet for me. Our other seven kids had graduated from our homeschool, and now
after 31 years of homeschooling, my last one had graduated.

The reality hit me: I was no longer a homeschooling mom.

I could sit down and tell you many, many things that I have learned over the
years. However, I'm going to narrow it down to the three most important lessons I
learned through those 31 years of homeschooling.

3 IMPORTANT LESSONS LEARNED FROM 31 YEARS OF HOMESCHOOLING:


1. Homeschooling showed me my need for God on a DAILY basis.

Before homeschooling, I was a determined and disciplined mom. When things


were going well, I often forget to depend on Him. Once I started to homeschool I
realized right away that I could NEVER do it in my own strength. Parenting is
hard enough and something that requires wisdom from God; when you add
homeschooling to that, the need becomes even more apparent. God used my
kids and homeschooling to teach me to depend on Him.

Each child was different and learned differently. Some days I felt I was failing.
Other days I felt like I just COULDN'T do it. Then there were those days when
I just wanted to quit! There were days of exhaustion, and interruptions to my
plans. God met me in the midst of my weaknesses and struggles. His Word
was my encouragement when I felt I couldn't keep on.

The most important thing I did as a homeschooling mom was spend time daily
seeking God. By reading His Word and praying, I found wisdom and strength.

Some days I didn’t get much time to spend "alone" with God. I quickly learned
that it was just as beneficial and important to spend time reading God's Word
WITH the kids. Reading Scripture with them, and memorizing verses with
them helped me keep my eyes on what God said was important. It also
helped me to keep a right spirit.

2. Homeschooling was something that God used to mold MY character.

As you know, I have a passion for encouraging parents to train their kids in Godly
character. However, while I was in the midst of training my kids in character, God
was busy molding and shaping MY character!

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Within the first couple days of homeschooling, God showed me that I had some
character issues to deal with, like impatience, and inflexibility. He gave me a
difficult child to teach me self-control which could only come from Him! I had to
learn that I couldn't be selfish, but had to be willing to give of myself, my time,
and my energy to teach and train the kids as God wanted me to do.

3. Homeschooling is more about winning the hearts of our children, than


academics.

Though it's important to give our kids a good education academically, if we are
going to have significant influence with them we need to win their hearts.
When we have the hearts of our kids, we are able to pour into them the truths
that God has given us. Each day we have an opportunity to encourage them to
have a heart for Him, and to impress His Word on their hearts.

There is a spiritual battle raging in our children's hearts daily, and as parents we
cannot be complacent, hoping everything will turn out okay. Winning the hearts of
our children is the most important thing we can do as parents. When we have a
strong heart tie, we can then draw them closer to God's heart.

The simplest way to reach and win their hearts is by spending time with
them. Be there to listen, encourage, and guide. Be fun, so they enjoy your
company. Let them know that you love them, and love being with them.

As you homeschool your kids, remember that the time you invest in teaching
and training them for the Lord, is of ETERNAL value!

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Every Homeschooler Must Remember…
Homeschooling is a wonderful opportunity to teach and train not only our kids' minds,
but also their hearts. Often though, we get so busy and caught up with activity, that we
forget some important things which every homeschooler needs to remember.

8 THINGS WE MUST REMEMBER AS WE HOME SCHOOL OUR CHILDREN:

1. Regardless of how qualified you may or may not feel, the best teacher
God can provide for your children, is YOU, their parent.

As the parent, you know your children best, and you love them more than any
teacher would. You can evaluate their work based on their abilities, and assess it
based on their effort, not their intelligence. You know them well enough to know if
they are really trying. You can challenge them at their level, but without
unnecessary frustration.

The BEST teacher God can provide for


your children is
YOU!

2. The most important thing you can do is win your child’s heart.

When you have your child’s heart, you are able to pour into them the truths that
God is teaching you. It also gives you a place of valuable opportunity to influence
not just what they do, but who they are.

3. Give priorities first place in your day.

God's Word shows us what our priorities should be as parents in II Peter 1:5:

….add to your faith virtue (or character); and to virtue knowledge.

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Start your day pointing your children to God and His Word, and then train them in
character. Training them in Godly character is much more important than
teaching academics. The academics are important, but character is what will
make a difference in their life. Wisdom is the principal thing, not knowledge.

4. You CAN do it!

We all have times when we wonder if we are giving our kids what they need
academically, or how we will get through the challenging high school subjects.
The KEY is, we can do it THROUGH the strength of Christ. Daily time alone with
Christ is essential! Without His help, we will struggle.

5. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

As homeschooling parents, we tend to take our responsibility very seriously, and


we should. But at the same time it’s important to lighten up, and ENJOY the
journey. Read together, go to the park, laugh and have fun with your children.

When things are stressful, and a child or a subject is frustrating you, switch
things up, change your focus for the time and do something different, that will be
fun. Don’t sacrifice the relationship because of a standoff with a school subject.

6. You can’t do it all.

It’s so easy to get way too busy with all the wonderful opportunities we want to
give our children; however, if we have every day overbooked with activity and
rushing about, it leads to fatigue and eventually burnout.

There is a limit to our physical energy, so it’s important to make wise choices
about how we will use our time. Ask God what HE wants for your family, and
make decisions based on His leading, rather than on what you see other
homeschooling families doing. We are not all created equal, and God calls each
of us to different things.

7. We ALL have bad days.

Not all of us want to admit that we have bad days, and we usually don’t want to
talk about it, but it is part of the journey. Kids get sick, moms get sick, kids have
bad attitudes, etc. Some days will be GREAT, you will love what you are doing,
and will be so glad God called you to teach your kids at home. Other days, you
will wonder what in the world possessed you to ever keep them home! Don’t let
the bad days get you down. God’s grace is new each morning; start over again.

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8. Homeschooling is more about discipleship and preparing children for life
than it is about academics.

There are definite academic advantages, but the true value of homeschooling
comes in the spiritual and Biblical values that we are able to impart.

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Tips to Smooth and Stay the Course
Moms ask me how I made it through 31 years of homeschooling, and what helped me
to stay the course. I came up with a list of things that I heard or learned over the years
that made me not only stick with it, but also made it all go much smoother.

10 THINGS THAT HELPED ME THROUGH 31 YEARS OF HOMESCHOOLING:

1. The most important thing I heard in my first year of homeschooling was


that character training was more important than the academics.

Our motto Bible verse for raising our kids has been II Peter 1:5:

...add to your faith, virtue (or character), and to virtue knowledge.

God says our first priority should be our kid’s faith – teaching them to love Him,
and to love His Word. Next should be their character, and then LAST on the list is
their knowledge of academics.

Doing things God’s way always works best, and when we kept these priorities in
order, God blessed the academic time too.

When I had a bad pregnancy, and remained faithful to Bible reading and memory
with the children and a character lesson daily, often I was then unable to do the
academics. But God blessed the little I could do because of my obedience, and
the kids still tested very well at the end of the year.

2. Everything our kids learn from kindergarten through grade 12 is only FOUR
years of material.

Hearing that said by renowned author Richard Fugate, took SO MUCH stress off
of me! Isn't that a helpful thing to keep in mind when we have a child who is
struggling to learn, "keep up", or "catch up"?!

3. I realized that not all my kids learned the same way, or at the same speed.

It was such a surprise to me when what worked for my first child didn’t work at all
with the second one, who learned in a totally different way. No one had ever told
me that kids have different learning styles, and I just thought they would all learn
at the same speed. As a result, I was frustrated, until I realized they all have
their own learning styles, and learned different subjects at a slower or faster
pace than the sibling(s) before them might have.

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4. I taught my kids to be independent learners at a young age, and how to find
answers.

This took so much pressure off of me, and gave me the time to work with the
younger ones that weren’t able to read and work on their own yet. By the way,
kids without character won’t be independent learners. They need character to
work on their own, and be diligent.

5. The best planned days often don’t go as planned at all.

Once I realized how often things happen to “mess up” the plans, it helped me to
be prepared to just go with the flow, and be flexible. Kids get sick - and usually
it’s on the day that you planned to get lots of school work done, then clean the
house, and run errands. Take a deep breath, and adjust your plans.

6. Sometimes you need to put a subject or a topic from that subject, aside and
come back to it later.

Sometimes it just doesn’t click with your child, and they aren’t ready for it. You
don’t HAVE to teach things at a certain age or time, or in a certain order.

Scope and sequence are an invention of the school system. We just have to
make sure our kids learn what they need before they graduate. We can set our
own scope and sequence. (Remind yourself of point #2.)

7. When I'm in too big of a hurry to spend time with God, things come apart.

I realized early on that teaching and training children requires much wisdom
and strength from God. Without that time spent with Him, I would struggle with
my own attitudes and spirit, which then rubbed off on the kids.

If you're too busy to spend time with God and in His Word, you are too busy!

8. A loose schedule but a regular routine makes a huge difference.

For example: When we get up we have breakfast, then everyone does their Bible
reading, then we have a character lesson, then it’s time for academics. That way
everyone knows the routine. If you are up late as a family and want to sleep in a
bit later, it doesn’t hurt anything. You get up and follow the routine. A routine with
a loose schedule works better with the academics, because it's hard to really
have a set amount of time for each subject daily. Some days Math will take 45

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minutes because it’s a new topic, with lots of practice. Other days it will be
review, and only take 30 minutes. There are also days where the child may not
understand, and it will take even longer.

Knowing they aren’t confined to a time frame relieves stress on them and you.

9. There will be days when you feel overwhelmed, and want to quit.

There will be days when you cry. On those days, remember that God won’t ask
you to do something you’re not able to do. Go to Him, and seek His wisdom.
He wants you to depend on Him, and there is nothing that makes you depend on
God more than realizing that you cannot do something on your own.

10. Don't compare.

You don’t have to do what the other homeschool families are doing. You need to
do what God has called you and your husband to do with your kids. His calling
may look different for each of us. Don’t try to do what everyone else does. Seek
God's direction and guidance, asking Him what HE wants for your family.

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Homeschooling: If We Had It To Do Over Again
As I finished my 31st and final year of homeschooling , I thought back over the
years about the things my husband and I have learned, and changes we have made.

It’s a journey I would do all over again, but there are a few things I
would change if I had it to do over.

3 THINGS I WOULD DO DIFFERENTLY IF I STARTED ALL OVER AGAIN:

1. I would take better care of myself.

As a young mom, I was able to get away with staying up late, getting up during
the night with babies, and getting up early with the toddlers. I was tired, as all
busy moms are, but I was able to do what I needed to each day. I didn’t exercise
regularly, because I didn’t feel I had the time; there were always better or more
important things to do. Eventually, it all began to catch up with me though.

I hit a spot where I started to struggle physically, and ended up with chronic
fatigue, and stressed adrenals. I was burned out – physically, emotionally, and
mentally. At that point I realized I HAD to take time for self -renewal.

I needed to make adjustments so I could get the rest I needed. This required
making some changes in our activities, and I had to pretty much stop all outside
activities. I also started taking breaks now-and-then with friends. It’s amazing
what a little time away, laughing with some like-minded moms will do for you!
Laughter is a good medicine.

As I took those steps, it helped me improve mentally, and have clearer, more
focused thinking, as well as more positive thoughts. Fatigue will always lead
to negative thoughts, such as: “I’m not doing a good job – my kids would be
better off in school,” I’m such a bad Mom – I never have energy to play with the
kids,” “I can’t handle this anymore,” etc. Everything seems worse when
you are fatigued. If I am burned out and can’t function, I will lose my ability
to do what God has called me to do. I wish I hadn’t learned that the hard way!

2. I would stress less about WHEN a child “got it” with reading, or math.

I would focus on making learning fun and waiting until they were ready. For
each child that readiness comes at different ages. They also learn in
different ways. If I had known that when I started teaching the kids it would have
saved me many hours of tears and frustration, mine and the kids! I want my

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kids to enjoy learning, but if I keep pushing them when they aren’t
ready and don’t get it, they will dislike learning.

Also, if I use a curriculum that doesn’t work with their learning style, it will be
much more frustrating for both of us. Overtime I realized that it doesn’t hurt
to take a break from phonics or a new math concept if they just
aren’t quite ready for it yet. It’s better to put it aside for a time, do some
learning games that aren’t intense, and try the subject again a few weeks later.

3. I would focus less on making sure rules were being obeyed, and more on
building the relationship that would make them WANT to obey those rules!

Rules are necessary, but as the saying goes, “Rules without relationship breed
rebellion.” It was easy to strive for complia nce while forgetting the
relationship that would bring compliance. In our effort to be good
parents, we were often too harsh in our effort to be firm, and we found that
resulted in damaged relationships. We learned that it worked much better
when we appealed to our children on the basis of love, rather than
intimidation.

A similar error was that we tried to protect them from wrong – wrong
activities, wrong influences, wrong friendships – while failing to
befriend them the way we should ourselves. In order to develop a
relationship that would bring compliance, we needed to spend time with our
children. We needed to be available when they wanted to talk, and
we needed to show an interest in what was important to them . We
needed to accept them for who they were, and let them know we loved them.
That in turn leads to winning their hearts, which brings the desire for
them to please us.

We learned that it is better to work hard at keeping their hearts – the


most important thing we can do as parents , than having to try to
repair damage and win their hearts back.

There are many other things my husband and I have learned along the way,
but these three stand-out above the rest. We hope they will be a help to you
on your homeschooling journey!

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I Wish I Had Known When I Started Homeschooling
The first time I heard about homeschooling was when my mom mentioned hearing
something about it on the radio. At the time I had one child, a two-year-old daughter. I
clearly remember telling my mom "I could NEVER do that!"

I didn't know anything about homeschooling, and that made it seem overwhelming to
me. I seriously didn't think I would ever be qualified to do such a thing.

Over time God used people and resources to change my mind, and with a bit of
trepidation mixed with excitement, I began kindergarten at home with my daughter.
Over the last 31 years I have learned many things that I wish I had known when I
started teaching our kids at home.

6 THINGS I WISH I HAD KNOWN WHEN BEGINNING OUR HOMESCHOOL JOURNEY


1. Commitment is the key to success.

Many times I would rather have skipped school and just read a book, or slept in.
Other times, I wanted to put ALL the kids in our local Christian school. But my
husband and I felt God had called us to teach them at home, and we made a
commitment to do that. Commitment keeps you consistent, AND keeps you
from quitting on those rough days, or even from acting on your feelings.

2. You ARE qualified to teach your kids.

If you love to read to your kids, spend time with them, and watch them as they
learn new things, you are qualified to homeschool them! Nobody loves them like
you do, or knows them as well as you do.

3. It is normal to be afraid.

We want to give our kids the best education and do all we can to prepare them
for life and God’s purpose. It’s a big responsibility. But God promises to give us
wisdom if we just ask! You WILL question yourself – A LOT – especially in the
beginning; that’s normal and okay. Find other homeschoolers to encourage and
support you.

4. It doesn’t take ALL day to homeschool your kids.

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Much of the time children spend at school is spent in waiting, recess, and lunch.
Even though kids are at school for about eight hours a day, they aren’t actually
doing SCHOOL WORK that whole time.

Make a schedule/routine that works for your family, realizing that you will need to
adjust it often to meet the needs of your family. Don’t try to copy the schools,
or another family’s homeschool. Don’t worry if someone else spends six-plus
hours a day, and your kids are done in two or three hours! Keep in mind that kids
are learning ALL the time, even though it may not be through sitting down and
working in books.

5. You don’t need to worry about high school.

Probably one of the things I hear most often when people are afraid to
homeschool is that they don’t think they can teach their kids high school. If God
has called you to homeschool, don’t worry about how you will handle things eight
or nine years down the road. God just asks that you be faithful today. He will
help you with high school when the time comes, or provide you with the help you
need. God doesn’t call us to something, and then not provide the help we need!

6. Homeschooling will reveal your character flaws, and help you grow.

It was probably on the FIRST day of our home school that my lack of patience
was revealed! God used my difficult children to help me grow in the areas of self-
control on a daily basis.

Homeschooling also gives you the opportunity to see the character flaws in your
kids, and work on them daily as you are teaching them. If they are having a
bad attitude, it’s much better to stop the academic work and deal with it than let
them get two lessons done with a BAD attitude.

When there is a problem with obedience, address it right away. Having the kids
at home gives us a definite OPPORTUNITY to work on their character. Don’t look
at it as a disturbance, but rather take advantage of those chances to train them in
Godly behavior and character.

What you know, or don't know, as you begin to homeschool or continue to homeschool,
isn't the issue. The most important thing you need to know is that you must rely on God.
Don't start a day of your school without first seeking Him in prayer for direction and
wisdom for that day.

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Homeschooling isn't ENOUGH (My Little Secret)
PSSST.......I HAVE A SECRET ABOUT HOMESCHOOLING!!

After 31 years, I still remember something I heard someone say in my 2nd year of
teaching our kids. I was at a support group meeting, and this lady was attending for the
first time. She was planning to take her kids out of public school to homeschool them. I
told her that was great and that there are many benefits to homeschooling. She replied:
"I know! I have several friends who have been homeschooling, and all of them have
really good kids, so that's why I'm doing it. I want my kids to turn out good!"

Have you ever thought that? I know I did! And that brings me to my little secret.....

Homeschooling isn't enough!

Homeschooling doesn't guarantee that your kids will "turn out good!"

Many, many homeschooled kids DO turn out good, and go on to follow and serve the
Lord. However, it's NOT simply because of the homeschooling.

It's easy to think that if we are following certain steps in our parenting, protecting our
kids from the wrong influences, and seeing they are outwardly obedient, it guarantees
they are going to stay true to the values we have taught them, and avoid significant
struggles with sin.

What we fail to remember is that they are individuals with a free will.

Yes, we should teach and train them in the ways of God, and share our values;
however, we need to let go of the idea that a certain "formula" guarantees good kids!

Often, we tend to judge our "success" on how our kids turn out. We worry more
about having "failed" than we do about making sure we have done our part.

I love how author Reb Bradley says it in the book, Solving a Crisis in Christian
Parenting:

“One of the reasons parents homeschool is because they want to accomplish something good
in their children. Success in homeschooling requires that academic, moral, and spiritual goals
be set. It is only natural for parents to have high hopes and dreams for their children.
However, when we begin to see our children as a reflection or validation of US, we become
the center of our dreams, and the children become our source of significance. When that
happens in our home it affects the way we relate with our children, and subtly breaks down
relationships.”

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....from God's standpoint, parents' success is measured by their obedience--not by how
their children ultimately choose to respond to their influence."
Homeschooling isn't enough if we aren't obedient in how we teach, train, and disciple
our kids.

I believe that by our influence we can greatly increase the chances that our kids
will love and follow Christ. There are two things we need to be purposeful about that
will help us gain influence with our children.

2 Things to be purposeful about to gain influence with our children:

1. We need to remember that how we live influences them more than the
"formula" we follow.

When our kids see our love for God and His Word, they are much more likely to
have a thirst for the things of God. They watch how we live, and the decisions we
make show them what we really value.

2. We must remember that having their hearts increases the chances of our
kids "turning out good."

They are much, much more likely to "buy in" to what we believe and teach, if we
have their heart. By having their heart, we gain their trust. They realize that
we are concerned about what is best for them, rather than feeling like we are just
trying to control them. This in turn gives us influence with them.

Solomon is a great example of this balanced parenting. When he


encouraged his young adult children and gave them commandments, he realized
that for them to honor those commands, he needed their heart, Proverbs 23:26:

My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.

Winning the hearts of our children is one of the most important things we can do
as parents!

The point of sharing this secret is not to discourage you, but rather to remind you that
even though homeschooling gives us more opportunities to influence our children, and
protect them, it doesn't guarantee the results.

We must focus instead on being obedient to God by faithfully teaching and training our
children in His ways, while seeking to win their heart. Leave the results to God, while
praying for Him to work in their hearts!

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Successes worth Remembering and Retelling!

Helpful Links:

3 Ways Our Kids Learn Character

10 Tips for First Time Obedience

Building Character In Your Kids

Building Character Into Your Children

Burnout: The Bleak Side of Homeschooling

Dealing With Your Different Child

Dealing With A Difficult Child

Just Say Yes To Your Kids

Solving A Crisis in Christian Parenting:

Who Has Time to Be Spiritual?

Why You Need To Win Your Child's Heart

101
Additional Resources

THE CHARACTER CORNER

60 Homeschooling Tips From 60 Years

Building Character In Your Children - A 10 step plan

Dealing With A Difficult Child

Devotional Prayer Journal for Kids - Praying Biblical Virtues

Lads & Ladies of Wisdom - Elementary character curriculum

Learning to Treasure God's Word - A Study of Psalm 110 for grades 4-12

Little Lads & Ladies of Virtue - Pre-school/early elementary character curriculum

Praying Biblical Virtues For Your Children

Praying Through Proverbs For Your Children

Tips & Charts For Stress Free Planning & Scheduling

Training & Correcting the Heart With Scripture

Winning Your Child's Heart

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