Extended Definition-Cell

by Nelof er-Sultana Jawadi

Submission date: 23-Sep-2018 11:15PM (UT C-0700)

Submission ID: 1007261816
File name: Extended_Def inition.docx
Word count: 1480
Character count: 9659
 Two Successes: You've done a great job of selecting the most important
defining characteristics of cells to include. Your graphics are very informative.
Two Challenges: Your biggest issue here is organization. Try listing all the
categories you name here (e.g., pro/eukaryotic, plant/animal, types of cell
division), then see if you can sort each sentence below into one of these
categories. Rewrite from there. For the future, you'll also want to find more
scholarly sources (peer-reviewed).

Proof read

Is this not part of your overview?

good
 Cells, were comma
Headings

comma

any structure? I think we need a word in there, like

"living."?

Thus indicates a following or causal relationship, which you haven't

shown here. Try another transition word.
lower this diagram so it's not next to
"prokaryotes"

number error
 Repet it ive

I think you need to reorganize to avoid this kind of repetition--try

creating separate sections for pro/eukaryotes.

Use a consistent citation system--looks like you've used APA, above, so stick with that.

apost rophes

quickly define binary fission

again,
reorganize to
avoid this
repetittion. Try
subheadings for
each of these
processes.
try to avoid the verb "turn," is it sounds like the RNA stops being RNA and "turns into" something
else.
isn't it really about the ribosome "reading" the message in the RNA? etc.
Extended Definition-Cell
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

85
PAGE 1
/100

Text Comment. T wo Successes: You've done a great job of selecting the most important
def ining characteristics of cells to include. Your graphics are very inf ormative. T wo Challenges:
Your biggest issue here is organization. T ry listing all the categories you name here (e.g.,
pro/eukaryotic, plant/animal, types of cell division), then see if you can sort each sentence
below into one of these categories. Rewrite f rom there. For the f uture, you'll also want to f ind
more scholarly sources (peer-reviewed).

QM Proof read
Proof read caref ully to identif y and correct simple errors like those in this sentence.

Text Comment. Is this not part of your overview?

Text Comment. good

PAGE 2

Text Comment. Cells,

Text Comment. were

Text Comment. comma

QM Headings
Use heading to separate major requirements, like an abstract or methods section, f rom other
parts of your text.
 Text Comment. comma

Text Comment. any structure? I think we need a word in there, like "living."?

Text Comment. T hus indicates a f ollowing or causal relationship, which you haven't shown
here. T ry another transition word.

PAGE 3

Text Comment. lower this diagram so it's not next to "prokaryotes"

QM number error
Some elements in your sentence don't match in number. In other words, one is plural and the
other is singular. Can you correct it? T his is a common error pattern that usually involves a
pronoun. Double check the rest of your sentences f or this error.
Additional Comment

T his is a pattern in your writing. Study it a little online, and then look f or it in your writing.

PAGE 4

QM Repetitive
See if you can combine and condense these sentences or ideas, as they are repetitive or
redundant.

Text Comment. I think you need to reorganize to avoid this kind of repetition--try creating
separate sections f or pro/eukaryotes.

Text Comment. Use a consistent citation system--looks like you've used APA, above, so
stick with that.

QM apostrophes
use a website like chompchomp.com to review proper apostrophe use. remember that
apostrophes can be used to show possession (the author's books) or contraction (don't,
won't). It's = It is.

Text Comment. quickly def ine binary f ission

Text Comment. again, reorganize to avoid this repetittion. T ry subheadings f or each of

these processes.

PAGE 5

Text Comment. try to avoid the verb "turn," is it sounds like the RNA stops being RNA and
 "turns into" something else.

Text Comment. isn't it really about the ribosome "reading" the message in the RNA? etc.

PAGE 6

PAGE 7

PAGE 8
RUBRIC: 30 1 DEFINITION RUBRIC

RHET . FOCUS Advanced

SLO #1: Write f ormally and inf ormally, in-class and out-of -class, f or a variety of audiences and purposes.

ABSENT OR BELOW Audience's needs are of ten not recognized: terms and ideas need explanation and
BASIC language needs adjustment f or the audience. Purpose (to def ine or term or
concept)isn't clear or achieved.

DEVELOPING Shows some attention to audience's needs, sometimes def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to def ine or term or
concept) may be unclear at times, and it may not be achieved convincingly.

PROFICIENT Shows attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and ideas and using
audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to def ine or term or concept) may be
implied, but it's clear and achieved.

ADVANCED Shows sophisticated attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to def ine a term or
concept) is clear and achieved with style.

ET HIC RESRCH Prof icient

SLO #2: Using the appropriate major’s customary citation style, ethically cite and communicate inf ormation
f rom a variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ABSENT OR BELOW Omits or uses incorrectly quotation marks and/or MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style
BASIC (number system) parenthetical citations and works cited list. Many citation errors.
Does not cite f rom a variety of discipline-appropriate sources. May be over-reliant on
a single source.

DEVELOPING A f ew errors in quotation marks, MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number system)

parenthetical citations and works cited list. May cite superf icially f rom sources. May
be over-reliant on a single source.

PROFICIENT Correctly uses quotation marks and MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number system)
parenthetical citations and works cited list. May have 1-2 citation errors. Cites f rom a
variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ADVANCED Consistently and correctly uses quotation marks and MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style
(number system) in-text (parenthetical) and end-of -text (ref erence list) citations f or
all sources, whether quoted directly or paraphrased. Cites f rom a variety of discipline-
appropriate sources. Never over-reliant on a single source.

PERS/SUPPORT Prof icient

SLO #3: Compare, evaluate, synthesize, and communicate caref ully, objectively, and persuasively the
relative merits of alternative or opposing arguments, assumptions, and cultural values.

ABSENT OR BELOW Fails to support claims with specif ic explanations, examples, etc.. Objectivity may be
BASIC lacking.
DEVELOPING Attempts to support claims with explanations, examples, etc., but specif icity and/or
objectivity may be lacking.

PROFICIENT Usually supports the def inition's claims with relevant, thorough, and specif ic
explanations, examples, etc.. Usually maintains objectivity.

ADVANCED Supports the def inition's claims with relevant, thorough, and specif ic explanations,
examples, etc.. Maintains objectivity.

ORGANIZ AT ION Developing

SLO #4: Organize, f ocus, and communicate one’s thoughts clearly and ef f ectively to address a rhetorical
situation.

ABSENT OR BELOW Organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical partitioning;
BASIC topic sentences, headings, transitions) may be absent, unrelated to the prompt, or
illogically connected. Ps contain multiple topics or are disorganized.

DEVELOPING Organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical partitioning;

topic sentences, headings, transitions) f it the prompt, but may be vague, too broad,
or inconsistenly or illogically linked. Ps may not be unif ied.

PROFICIENT Clear organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical

partitioning; topic sentences, headings, transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas and
topics together adequately. Ps are usually unif ied.

ADVANCED Clear, specif ic organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical
partitioning; topic sentences, headings, transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas and
topics together logically and seamlessly. Paragraphs are unif ied.

LANG & DESIGN Developing

SLO # 5: Recognize, evaluate, and employ the f eatures and contexts of language and design that express
and inf luence meaning and that demonstrate sensitivity to gender and cultural dif f erences.

ABSENT OR BELOW Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability. Language may
BASIC ref lect a gender or cultural bias or be too high or too low. Design may be
unconventional and inef f ective.

DEVELOPING Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors of ten impede readability or otherwise
distract f rom meaning. Style may be either too high or too low. Language may
occasionally suggest a gender or cultural bias. Design may be inconventional or
inef f ective.

PROFICIENT Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are f ew and do not distract f rom
meaning. Middle-level-style. Language respects gender and cultural dif f erences.
Design is conventional and ef f ective.

ADVANCED Outstanding control of language, with middle-level style, including ef f ective diction
and sentence variety. Language respects gender and cultural dif f erences. Design is
conventional and ef f ective.
COLLABORAT ION
SLO 6: Improve one’s own and others’ writing skills through the assessment and critique of written works.

ABSENT OR BELOW No ef f ort appears to have been made to unif y the def inition's style and substance. It
BASIC looks like multiple writers pasted their work together.

DEVELOPING Some ef f ort to unif y the def inition's style and substance is evident, although it is
clear that multiple people composed it.

PROFICIENT Def inition's style and substance are usually unif ied. It usually appears as though one
writer composed it.

ADVANCED Def inition's style and substance are unif ied. It appears as though one writer
composed it.