2

3
 © Copyright 2009-2010 Bill Pere
All Rights Reserved
Printed in the United States of America
Second Edition

ISBN: 1453835660
ISBN-13: 9781453835661
E-Book ISBN: 978-1-4392-9077-4

Music has tremendous power to move people to action. A portion of the proceeds from this
book support programs to fight hunger and poverty through Local United Network to Combat
Hunger (LUNCH), a charitable organization dedicated to using the power of popular music to
produce positive social action, involving kids in concerts and plays to show them that they can
make a difference in the lives of others. (www.lunchensemble.com).

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4
 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

My dear wife Kay has been my companion and much-appreciated sounding board through the
entirety of this project. Her support, insights, and feedback have been invaluable. My two won-
derful children, as they have grown, have helped me to understand and to communicate with au-
diences of all ages.
Also, this work would not have been possible without my thirty years of involvement with the
Connecticut Songwriters Association, founded in 1979 by Don Donegan. Through the Songwrit-
ers Association, I’ve had the good fortune to have interacted with and learned from many of the
great songwriters and performers whose hits have touched the lives and hearts of millions around
the world. The complete long list of these great music professionals is at my website, (www.
billpere.com), and I thank all of them for generously giving their time and personally sharing
their expertise with me over the last three decades. Some of these noted writers and mentors
whom I should mention individually are: George David Weiss, Bobby Weinstein, Sheila Davis,
John Braheny, Pat Pattison, Alex Forbes, and three generations of the Chapin family.
In the last several years, I’ve been privileged to work with many exceptional professionals in the
growing community of successful independent artists, and I am glad to have had their diverse
perspectives to help shape this work. A special note of thanks to Noel Ramos, John Harris and
Vicki Blankenship who for many years have run well-organized conference events for all aspir-
ing independent artists. The workshops I’ve taught at these events have provided many opportu-
nities for discussion and interaction with a wide range of artists from around the world.
In addition, I must thank the thousands of aspiring songwriters and performers who have at-
tended my classes or who have come to me as clients seeking advice, and who, at the same time,
were also providing me with tremendous insight and supporting examples for this book.

ATTRIBUTIONS

All quoted and cited sources are acknowledged either directly in the text or in the Appendix
notes. All copyright notices appear in the song reference list. Any musical or lyric examples
which are not attributed to a source are from either my song catalogue, traditional works, anony-
mous critique submissions, or created specifically for this book. The printed and musical cita-
tions in this book are all provided for educational analysis and discussion. All works cited in this
book are recommended references for additional listening and reading.

5
 TABLE OF CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright Page
INTRO: What’s It All About? (Even if Your Name Isn’t Alfie)
Vocabulary Notes
The Seven Foundations of Effective Songwriting
SECTION I - Your Songcrafting Crayons : The What’s and Why’s

Chapter 1: Going for the Gold

Eyes-Wide-Open Songwriting (EWO)
Anatomy of a Song – Chart

Chapter 2: What Are Parameters and Why Do You Care?

Intuition vs, Analysis: The Wise Ask the Why’s
First Draft It, Then Craft It
Snips, Snails, and Puppy Dog’s Tails

Chapter 3: Role Call - You Are Bartholomew Cubbins

Creation, Realization, Proliferation – Chart
Don’t Let Misunderstood Roles Roll Over You

Chapter 4: The Four Faders of Songwriting Success

The Four Faders – Diagram
How Do You Effect an Effect that Affects People’s Affect?
The Dating Game: Presenting a Song is a Social Interaction
The Blind Date

Chapter 5: Expression vs. Communication: The Key to Effective Song-

writing
Express or Communicate: What’s the Difference?
The Stranger Test
Basic Principles of Communication Through Song
Specificity
Time, Place, Situation, Motivation
Tone Constancy/ Semantic Field
Contrastive Stress
Listener Response (Diagram)

Chapter 6: People are Strange When You’re a Stranger (or How We

Communicate):
The Keys to Managing the Faders
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator - MBTI

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 Exercise: Remember the Feeling!
What Are the 4 Dimensions and the Choices for Each?
Collaborating is Not Just for Writers: A Look at Preferences in the Art,
Craft, and Business of Music
The Product Pipeline of the Music Industry Starts in the “IN” Mode
Is the “IN” Crowd the Out Crowd?

Chapter 7: Courting Appeal – The Secret of Ullage

How Would You Like to Have Another 10,000 Fans? A Little Goes a
Long Way: The Power of Big Numbers and Small Increments
Look at the Ullage
Quality and Mass Appeal
Songs About “Me”
It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times
A Four-Fader Song
For What It’s Worth: Stop Hey What’s that Sound? Cha-Ching!
The Fundamental Choice
SECTION II: Your Songcrafting Crayons: How to Use Them
Introduction
SECTION II-A – The Semantic Parameters

Chapter 8: The Meaning of Meaning

Crystal, Mud, or Jello : Interpreting Interpretation
Doorways and Windows into Your Song
Metaphor and the Lyrical Layer Cake
It’s Good to be Conceited
Ascending to the Second Story: Allegory
Alternate Viewpoints and Contexts

Chapter 9: Lists and Twists: Metaphors, Controlling Image and Song

Format
Chapter 10: Aim For the Bullseye and Avoid the Bull: The Essence of a
Lyric Is Its “S/N”’s
The Concrete Test

Chapter 11: Plaster, Mortar, or Cement: Managing Clarity and Speci-

ficity
Enhancing the Concrete-Abstract Test with Adjectives
Beware of Wet Cement: It’s Not Really Concrete
Telescope, Microscope, or Just Eyeglasses: Scope it Out
Weight + Motion = Momentum: What About the Verbs?

Chapter 12: The Concrete-Abstract Balancing Act:

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 Managing the Concrete-Abstract Balance in Metaphors
Sensory-iNtuitive See-Saw of Simile and Metaphor (Diagram)
Songwriting Exercise

Chapter 13: The Vehicle: Mercedes or Edsel: Managing the Focus and
Vehicle
What Do I Say and How Do I Say It?
Hocus Focus, Show and Tell
Welcome to the Movies

Chapter 14: Playing the Field: Managing Tone Constancy and Semantic
Field
Chapter 15: Intentional Ambiguity: Achieving Duality Without Confu-
sion
Intentional Ambiguity and Irony
Semantic Pivots: Homophones and Homomorphs
Klang Association
Irony
Phonetic Ambiguity
Unambiguous Ambiguity

Chapter 16: Writing in the Key of ‘W’: Managing the Cinema

The Six W’s
The Forward Motion Test
SECTION II-B – The Prosodic Parameters: Metrics, White Space and Cadence
Introduction

Chapter 17: Identifying the Cadence of a Lyric:

I’m Surrounded by Arses !
Exercise: Identifying Cadence
Interaction of Lyric Accents with Music Accents

Chapter 18: The Metric System – For Songwriters

The Three Accents
Anacrusis on Lyric Sheets
Exercise: Applying the Principle of Contrastive Stress
“Jamb” Sessions: Enjambed and Non-Enjambed Lines
Here’s Another Fine “-Ness” You’ve Gotten Me Into

Chapter 19: White Space: The Final Frontier

More Stress in Your Life : Parts of Speech
The Oronym Will Get You If You Don’t Watch Out
An Intentional Oronym (or is that Unintentional Oronym?)
Common Rhythmic Meters (Table)

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 Exercise: Identifying Rhythms
Common Language Accent Patters (Table)
Exercise: Identifying Cadence
Can’t We All Just Sing Along?
Case Study: How it All Works in Practice
The Von Restorff Effect: Friend or Foe?

Chapter 20: Rhythm and the Theory of Relativity

SECTION II-C – The Phonetic Parameters: Rhyme, Assonance, Allitera-
tion, Klang, Para-Rhyme, Sonic Reversal, Lexical Repeti-
tion
Introduction

Chapter 21: Sonic Activity: Making Your Songs Radio-Active

Identifying and Creating Ping Points
Your Phonetic Crayons
Exercise: Identifying Ping Points
Lexical Repetition and Combinations
Little Miss Muffet Sat on Her Stool (I Don’t Want to Rhyme)
Exercise: Improving Your Sonic Activity Generation
Klang Association: Joining Phonetics to Semantics

Chapter 22: Song Mapping: The Key to a Solid Structure

What Is Song Mapping?
Time to Look at Rhyme
Vertical and Horizontal Rhyming
Parenthetical Rhyming
Expanded Rhyming
Rhyming is More Than Just Per-Verse
External Referencing (When Is a Rhyme Not a Rhyme?)
Mapping Your Songs –Visualizing and Evaluating Micro Structure

SECTION III: Other Considerations in the Pursuit of Songcrafting

Chapter 23: Taking the Labor out of Collaboration (It Takes Teamwork
to Make the Dream Work)
The Lyrical Mirror Miracle

Chapter 24: Taking the Mystique Out of Critique

The Three Levels of Critique
Preference Profiles in Critiquing: S/N Factors
Preference Profiles in Critiquing: T/F Factors
Preference Profiles in Critiquing: J/P Factors

Chapter 25: Honing Your Songcrafting Skills

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 Journalistic/Expository Writing: Just the Facts, M’am
Yclept Writing and Swinging Bats

Chapter 26: What About the Music?

Melody
Harmony
Rhythm
Dynamics and Timbre
Intervals for Making Common Chord Types (Chart)
Circle of Fifths, Scales, Intervals (Diagram)

Chapter 27: How to Lead People to Your Music in a Digital Age

OUTRO:
APPENDICES
I—Complete Level-3 Analysis of “The Crib in the Creche”
II—Quick Guide to Songwriting Tools and Tests
III—A Checklist of Some Essential Songwriting Skills
IV—Bonus Essay - Sale: The Seven C’s
Song Reference List
Supplemental material to all the topics in this book may be found at www.songcrafterscol
oringbook.com, and www.billpere.com

10
 About the Author

In 2008, Bill Pere was named one of the “Top 50 Innovators, Iconoclasts, Groundbreakers and
Guiding Lights of the Music Industry” by Music Connection Magazine.
It is rare to find a noted songwriter whose primary concern is teaching the secrets of the craft to
others, and who can actually do that in a clear and effective way. In 2002, “Songwriters Market”
editor Ian Bessler called Bill’s article on the relationship between songwriting and personality
preferences “Groundbreaking”. Hit songwriter and past President of the Songwriters Guild of
America George David Weiss wrote to Bill “I can’t tell you how impressed I was with how
knowledgeable you are and your way of making the material comprehensible”. At Bill’s 2006
workshop in Dallas, Mary Dawson, author of “How to Get Somewhere in the Music Business
From Nowhere with Nothing” commented “That was the most coherent presentation on song-
writing I’ve ever heard, bar none.” When Bill began writing articles on songcrafting in the
1980’s, industry icon John Braheny, author of “The Craft and Business of Songwriting”, wrote
“Few teachers have emerged in the past two decades who have the skill and desire to make this
information available and applicable to the craft of those who could change the world. Bill Pere
is one of them.”
When Bill Pere leads workshops, teaches classes, or presents at conferences, it is typically as a
songwriter and performing artist with decades of music business experience. It often surprises
folks to learn that he has a graduate degree in molecular biology, has designed global computer
systems for collecting and analyzing scientific data, and has other assorted science-related certifi-
cations and affiliations. He is a qualified practitioner of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, the
most widely used preference-profiling instrument in the world. The New York Times wrote “Bill
Pere embodies the link between science and music”.
Bill often says that his science-oriented background made him a much better composer and lyri-
cist than he likely would have been without those additional perspectives. In his thirty years of
interacting with thousands of songwriters, from all-time greats to living room hopefuls, that
background has enabled him to use the information as a pool of data yielding insights to the
essence of what causes a specific song to evoke a specific reaction in a specific type of audience.
His participation in thousands of song critiques, across all styles and levels of proficiency has
provided him a window overlooking a vast sea of raw creativity, revealing patterns, tendencies,
and interactions leading to the new conclusions presented here.
Bill says that it quite literally has taken thirty years to write this book. It required that much time
to experience all the data, make sense of it, and present it in a meaningful way. Over that span of
time, tastes and styles have changed; recording and listening technology has changed; music dis-
tribution channels have changed; Yet amid that sea of change, the elements that make a great
song have remained constant. Those are the timeless things Bill seeks to help songwriters under-
stand and master.

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 INTRO: What’s It All About?
(Even if Your Name Isn’t Alfie)
“The only books that influence us are those for which we are ready, and which have gone a
little further down our particular path than we have gone ourselves.”
- E. M. Forster, English novelist
“Life is an ongoing process of choosing between safety – (out of fear and need for defense),
and risk – (for the sake of progress and growth). Make the growth choice a dozen times a
day.”—Abraham Maslow

This is a book about choices—your choices. The choices you make as a songwriter which cause
your songs to get the reaction you hope for, or the one you don’t expect; The choices which de-
termine whether your song sells a thousand copies, a million copies, or never goes beyond your
studio shelf.
By looking at the individual components of songs, this book makes those choices clear to you
and lets you know what to expect when you decide on one option or another. This is not a book
about songwriting “rules”, as there really are none. Looking at songwriting as an interrelated se-
ries of informed choices is the primary paradigm of this book.
Everything in songwriting is a choice with artistic, commercial, emotional, spiritual, or monetary
consequences. When creating, performing or marketing songs, we often don’t know what all
those choices are, let alone the results that flow from each one. Common sense tells us that when
we don’t know what our options are and the consequences of choosing a particular one, it is im-
possible to make an informed decision, or the best decision to meet our objectives. When we un-
derstand what our choices are and their associated outcomes, we gain control over that incredible
process we know as songwriting.
I developed the concepts presented here over many years, beginning in the 1980’s, initially pre-
senting them in published articles and songwriter forums. The response was overwhelmingly
positive, even though using many of these techniques requires significant effort and commit-
ment. It became clear during that time that it was also necessary to include an overarching model
of “Why and When” along with the “How”, so that a person seeking to use these techniques to
further their craft would have all the information needed to make fully informed choices and un-
derstand why it is worth the effort. Thus, there are two primary parts to this book: the Why’s and
the How’s.
The first half of the book presents the essentials of Why the techniques given here are important
and When they can be used to best advantage. Also in the first half are some core ideas and para-
digms (overarching concepts) which underpin all the later discussion. Then we get to the nuts
and bolts of How-To i.e., how you apply a particular technique to achieve a particular result.
The information presented here comes from many sources. There are of course many printed and
quoted references. In addition, as Director of Special Projects for the Connecticut Songwriters
Association since 1980, and President since 2004, I’ve had the great fortune to work with many
top songwriters and industry icons, learning from them first hand, interviewing them, and devel-

12
oping personal and professional relationships over the years. These folks are listed at my web-
site, www.billpere.com. The knowledge and insights they’ve given me have been invaluable, and
I am greatly indebted to them for their willingness to have shared their time and expertise.
I have also had the privilege through conferences, presentations and classes, to directly interact
with more than 10,000 aspiring songwriters across the U.S. and to critique thousands of songs.
Through my own performances, my 15 released recordings, and my several websites, I’ve been
able to interact with thousands of audiences of loyal fans, new listeners, and hecklers across sev-
eral countries. As a result, this book looks at songwriting from an array of different perspectives,
and brings them together in a brand new way.

Why do you need this book?

Over the last decades, the music business has changed dramatically. Musical styles, technology,
distribution methods, recording equipment, and consumer tastes all continuously evolve. How-
ever, the essential elements that make a great song have remained constant, though they have
never been clearly defined in one place or in their entirety A song that becomes a standard en-
dures across different styles, artistic interpretations, and the passage of time. Here, we seek to de-
fine the key ingredients that can make that happen.
There are several excellent books out there which present a potent arsenal of songwriting tools
and techniques. This book does that as well. But there are few places where you can turn to find
a presentation of exactly when and why to apply those tools, and the pros and cons of doing so.
This book provides that in depth.
The songwriting approach presented here can give you more control over those elements and im-
prove your ability to make them work together to produce that magic we call a standard, a hit, or
just a great song.
Why undertake a new way to approach songwriting? Because of the significant changes that
have occurred in the way songwriters can directly access a worldwide audience. Today, anyone
can wake up in the morning, pour their feelings out on paper, sit down in their high-quality eas-
ily-affordable home studio, and make a recording, which for less than the cost of a haircut, can
then appear on i-Tunes and every other major worldwide digital distribution outlet in a few
weeks.
Consequently, there is now more music flowing direct-to-consumers than at any time in history.
Your competition has increased dramatically in sheer volume and in production quality, but not
particularly in the quality of the songwriting. Thus, more than ever, the quality of the songs is
what will lift you and keep you above that ever-growing baseline of clutter. Not the production,
or the performance – the songs. Great music and great lyrics.
Most songwriters will continue writing songs the same way – a mixture of feelings, instinct and
maybe a few general guidelines. Occasionally, great songs will emerge. However, the writers
who take the time and effort to develop new ways of making their creative output consistently
stand above the rest will become the ones recognized as the next generation of great songwriters.
In the music business, only the exceptional is noticed and rewarded. While many songs and
artists may be ‘good’, ‘good’ is rarely enough to compete successfully. The techniques in this

13
book are designed to help you choose how good or exceptionally good you want to be.
If you are reading this book, I thank you for allowing me to be your guide on this journey to
give you more control of your own creative output.

VOCABULARY NOTES (frequent Terms and Abbreviations used in this book)

The Seven Foundations of Effective and Successful Songwriting

This book uses a variety of analogies and metaphors to illustrate various points. There are seven
overarching concepts which run throughout this book, each using its own metaphor:
1. Trying to write the best possible song you can is like an Olympic athlete striving to do his or
her personal best.
2. A song represents a collection of interrelated choices, some conscious, some instinctive. The
more conscious and informed choices you can make, the more control you have over the result,
an approach we will call EWO, or Eyes-Wide-Open songwriting.

14
3. The factors (parameters) which affect the overall perception, acceptance and reaction to a song
are like faders on a mixing board, all contributing to a final blend.
4. A songwriter presenting a song to a listener is a social interaction, like a conversation between
two strangers where all the relevant social conventions and expectations apply.
5. The difference between creativity and craft is analogous to bringing forth valuable raw mater-
ial from a mine, and then refining it to a state of purity, beauty, and utility.
6. There are three phases in the life of a song from initial inspiration to professional recording
and performance: Creation, Realization and Proliferation, each requiring specific roles and skill
sets.
7. If you write about something that is important to you and you want to share it, then your task
as the songwriter is not to allow each listener to take away his or her own personal truth, but to
have them take away a personalized version of your truth.
You will see these analogies, metaphors and principles referenced many times throughout the
book as we discuss the various aspects of your choices as a songwriter.

15
 SECTION I: Your Songcrafting Crayons:
The What’s and Why’s
(Chapters 1 – 7)

Chapter 1: Going For the Gold

“The important thing in the Olympic Games is not winning, but taking part. The essential
thing in life is not conquering, but fighting well” – from The Olympic Creed
“It is inevitable that some defeat will enter even the most victorious life. The human spirit is
never finished when it is defeated… it is finished when it surrenders.” - Ben Stein
“There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.”—Beverly Sills, opera soprano

Rather than a sporting event, consider the Olympics as a showcase of the human spirit. I have
watched and read dozens of Olympic documentaries and profiles of individual champions.
Olympic athletes get to where they are through three essential ingredients, which sound amaz-
ingly like a recipe for songwriting success as well.
First, there is a degree of natural ability. One’s inherent talent is an initial building block. How-
ever, we can safely say that no contemporary Olympic champion has earned that title solely on
natural talent. Second, Olympians get coaching, practice, and feedback, to hone their natural
ability to its peak. Third, and most importantly, far outweighing all other factors, they have an in-
ternal drive to always - always - strive for their personal best. Whether it is in practice, in a small
event, or on the world stage, they go out and attempt to score a “Perfect 10” , or whichever stan-
dard of perfection is used for their particular event.
(Note: In the 2008 Olympics, gymnastics, which had been the best known event for the “Perfect
10” changed its scoring to separate two parameters, i.e. degree of difficulty, and execution. A
Perfect 10 is still the top score for execution.)
Of direct relevance to us as songwriters is that despite their amazing ability and best efforts,
Olympians rarely score that Perfect 10. However, even though they might not achieve perfection,
they still put forth a level of performance which is among the best in the world.
The take-home lesson is clear: If world-class athletes did not strive to reach that elusive “10”
every time, they would obviously never achieve it at all, nor would they reach the lofty levels
they actually do achieve. It is the striving for the best that brings one to the top of his or her craft
– no amount of raw talent, practice, coaching or critique can do that, without the constant internal
drive to produce the best possible result, however difficult it may be. Make no mistake, songwrit-
ing is truly a challenging craft, when you think of the amazing number of things that have to
come together to create great song. This is why coaching and feedback are so important.
We will look at each of these things, one by one, so you can fully understand what you are work-
ing with when you are crafting a song. Olympic athletes achieve world-class status because they
understand every individual element of their activity. Whether it is swimming, gymnastics, vol-
leyball or archery, each movement, each factor (parameter) of the activity is broken down and

16
analyzed. Only then does the athlete have the necessary knowledge to choose how to deal with
that specific parameter, in the way that works best for them. Eventually it becomes instinctive
and flows from within, enabling one’s natural talent to reach full potential. The same is true for a
songwriter.
An Olympian who achieves a “Perfect 10” on one particular day will not likely do so again the
next time they try, or the time after that. However, they will always be striving to do so, and this
is what increases their chances for success. A songwriter may write a great song one day, and a
complete flop the next. In fact, most writers, even the all-time greats, write more non-hits than
hits*. If it were possible to always write a great song, there would be a lot more really great
songs. As it is, if you look at all the songs that are “out there” by all writers, the vast majority of
them are clearly not “great” (i.e. standards which reach across styles and artists, and endure for
decades). Most are just average, mediocre, or less. The multi-hit writer often shares the same
traits as the Olympic champion – natural talent, practice and refinement of skills, and a continu-
ous drive to write a “great” song, even though that isn’t going to happen most of the time. They
do not surrender.
* Always remember that a “hit” song does not automatically mean a well-written song. A “hit”
is a commercial success, but there are many truly great songs that never get any recognition,
and there are many commercial successes and award-winning songs which are not particularly
well–written. Many factors besides the craft of songwriting go into the making of a commercial
success and these are discussed in later chapters. For the purposes of all discussions in this
book, unless otherwise stated, “hit” will be used to refer to commercially successful songs that
are also well-written.

Eyes-Wide-Open Songwriting: “EWO”

It is a part of human nature to not want to expend extra effort if it is not required to do so. This is
a simple extension of the second law of thermodynamics (the most stable and natural state for
anything is the state of lowest energy). Understanding this principle is absolutely central to being
a successful songwriter as it applies not only to the crafting of songs, but also to how audiences
listen to songs. A listener does not want to have to “work” to enjoy a song.
Mastering the craft of songwriting is challenging, and if it is possible to write a successful song
without mastering the craft, why bother? One answer lies in the part of each individual which de-
fines that person’s vision of “Success”. Success is a personal objective, defined in whatever
terms seem right for the artist. Success can mean artistic satisfaction, worldwide fame, local
recognition, wealth, doing what you enjoy, connecting with people, making others happy, fulfill-
ing your own creative needs, effecting social change, making a living, having a small but loyal
following, or many things other than being respected as a master of the craft.
But it is also a part of human nature to want to do things as best as they can possibly be done
and to be recognized for that. The tendency toward not wanting to expend unnecessary effort and
the desire to have the best possible outcome are generally at odds with each other. Having a firm
grasp of what each choice costs in terms of effort, and the possible benefit it can yield, enables
you to balance these two internal tendencies, based on what “success” means to you. It also en-
ables you to more readily reproduce your successes over time with less effort, while reducing the

17
disappointment of unmet expectations.
To write based solely on instinct can get you to a certain point, but to move beyond that, you
need to be able to see clearly enough to choose the best path forward. For purposes of discus-
sions in this book, we will call the state of being able to make informed choices “Eyes-Wide-
Open Songwriting”, or “EWO”. Thus, when you decide to add another verse, or to not use a
perfect rhyme, or to write about “He and She” rather than “You and I”, you will have made that
decision knowing what all your options were, and the probable result of your choice in terms of
effort versus desired outcome. Writing with your eyes-wide-open will help you stay on your self-
defined path to success.
What does it take to be regarded as “great”? The names that always come to mind when people
are asked which Olympians they consider “great”, are the athletes who have consistently pro-
duced excellence. Michael Phelps (8–for-8 gold medals in swimming); Nadia Comaneci (multi-
ple perfect 10’s in gymnastics); Eric Heiden (5-for-5 gold medals in speed skating); Lasse Viren
(gold in the 5K and 10K races in two consecutive Olympiads); Al Oerter (four discus golds in
four consecutive Olympiads); There are of course thousands of Olympic medalists, but most of
those names rarely make it into those limited memory slots in the public’s collective conscious-
ness. Consistency is the key. When an athlete is a “one-hit wonder”, it is the single event rather
than the person which is considered memorable. Any sports fan knows that Don Larsen pitched a
perfect game in the 1956 World Series (an amazing event), but no one lists Don Larsen as an all-
time great pitcher. The Baseball Almanac shows that in a 14-year career, he lost more games
than he won, never had a 20-game winning season, did have a 20-game losing season, and had a
below-average lifetime winning percentage of 47%. He is in the Baseball Hall of Fame because
of that one event.
What does it take to be regarded as a great songwriter? One memorable song won’t do it – peo-
ple may say it’s a great song, but how many times have you heard people exalt a songwriter for
one hit (assuming they even know who wrote the song…)? If you think of all the people you
would call great songwriters, the common thread is that they have a track record of consistently
writing quality songs. Whether they perform them themselves (e.g., Billy Joel, Harry Chapin,
Paul Simon, Suzanne Vega, Janis Ian, Smokey Robinson, Carole King); or have other artists per-
form them, (e.g., Gary Burr, Diane Warren, Jimmy Webb, Annie Tate, Alan Menkin/Stephen
Schwartz); their creative output generates an above-average number of way-above-average
songs.
It is not easy to consistently produce outstanding results. Remember the quote at the top of this
chapter: “It is inevitable that some defeat will enter even the most victorious life. The human
spirit is never finished when it is defeated… it is finished when it surrenders” EWO songwriting
will help you avoid surrendering to the frustration and the spiritual/emotional fatigue which often
comes with striving not just to create, but to create excellence.

18
19
 Chapter 2: What Are Parameters And Why Do You Care?
Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes.
Art is knowing which ones to keep” – Scott Adams
“Creativity means to push open the heavy, groaning doorway to life.
This is not an easy struggle. Indeed, it may be the most difficult task in the world…” –Daisaku
Ikeda

Right about now, that very human part of you which does not like to expend unnecessary effort
might be thinking “Is it going to be worth it to read through the rest of this book? “ That’s your
choice, but to make an informed decision, here are some of the benefits that will come from
learning and applying the EWO principles:

Enhancement of a song’s ability to communicate

Greater conscious control during the development process of the
song
Greater understanding of why things do or do not work in your
song
Greater ability to make use of feedback you receive from listeners
Greater ability to analyze and appreciate the works of other writers
More consistent replication of your successes and avoidance of re-
peating mistakes
Having a common framework to allow you to communicate more ef-
fectively with peers, collaborators, and other music professionals.
Before stepping into the world of songwriting parameters, we first need to be clear on the differ-
ence between creativity and craft as it relates to songwriting. As you read this discussion of para-
meters, and much of the rest of this book, you might think “I can’t be creative while I’m thinking
about all that stuff !” And you would be absolutely correct.
Creativity is an individual process. That moment of inspiration, the feeling of being “in the
flow”, are personal experiences not to be diffused by trying to think about anything specific
while you are actually in the midst of creating – it would be like asking a female accountant to do
your tax return while she is in the process of giving birth. Your moments of inspiration and the
way that results flow from them do not need to be “messed with” in any way.
However, one of the most frequent mistakes aspiring writers make is believing that when the cre-
ative frenzy is spent and what was inside is now captured on a page, that they’re “done” and the
song is “written”. The seasoned writer will tell you this is just the first step in the process. What

20
you have produced from your moment of inspiration is raw material, to which you now apply the
tools of song crafting. The different hats you wear when creating versus crafting may be inter-
changed multiple times as a song is revised, critiqued, revised again, etc.
A song is a complex art form. The best examples of the songwriter’s craft are little packages of
sound, lasting only three minutes or so, which intertwine music and words in such a way that
they communicate with millions of people. These little sound packets become part of our culture.
Their words give rise to phrases which become common expressions. Their melodies are whis-
tled in showers and hummed in the workplace. They cause floods of memory and feeling when
they are heard. They endure for many decades. And because they are rare gems, they may gener-
ate substantial income for the copyright owners - who may or may nor be the writer(s).
For each of those well known rare gems, there are thousands of other songs, not as widely heard,
not as ingrained in our culture, which nonetheless have moved people to cry, tickled people to
laugh, stimulated people to learn, motivated people to act, for this is the power inherent in any
well-crafted song.
However, for those thousands of songs which move, tickle, stimulate and motivate, there are
hundreds of thousands which fail to do any of these things for anyone except the song’s creator.
Instead of diamonds, they are common quartz. What, then is the difference? Why does one song
reach out and communicate while another falls on deaf ears?
Whether you are an amateur or professional, lyricist or composer, novice or experienced, the
skills of crafting a song, as opposed to the process of creating it, have significant bearing on the
final product. Songcrafting is the process of taking the raw, uncut gem, the product brought forth
from the mine shaft leading into your creative self, and carefully cutting the precision facets
which will make it striking in its beauty, broad in its appeal, and timeless in its perfection.
Consider the images below:

On the left is a rather common looking rock. If it were on display for the public to see, it might
garner a few indifferent stares and yawns. On the right is a replica of the famous Hope Diamond.
People around the world have heard of it, and when the actual stone is seen on display, it elicits
gasps and looks of awe from those struck by its breathtaking beauty. However, what you may not
realize is that the rock in the image on the left is the giant Sedafu diamond, one of the largest,
most pure and rare gems in the world. It is, however, uncut. It has not been shaped and crafted
into that polished, faceted form that people consider “beautiful”.

21
Like the raw gem of a song that comes from your own inner mine of ideas, it is inherently a thing
of great value and rarity, but without the crafting to give it the luster and form, it does not evoke
the same response as the Hope Diamond, nor is it even recognized as being a thing of rare beauty
and worth.
Around 1982, music legend Stephen Stills was handed a song called “Seven League Boots” by
Richard and Michael Curtis. Recognizing it as a bit rough but with potential, he re-worked the
words and chorus, and the result was “Southern Cross”. As reported by Johnny Rogan in his
book “The Complete Guide to the Music of Crosby Stills and Nash”, Stills said “Once again, I
was given someone’s gem, and I cut and polished it.”
When you apply craft to the raw musical gemstone, you enhance its ability to reach out and
touch a listener, and to make that listener want to be touched by that song, again and again. In
this touching, the writer and the listener have found a common bond and have embraced each
other. This is communication, and for most writers, communication of a feeling, idea, or message
is what a song is all about. Whether you are pursuing artistic success, commercial success, or
self-expression, seeing your creation evoke a desired response in a listener is the ultimate mea-
sure of a great song.
Additionally, a well-crafted song is more likely to translate from artistic success to commercial
success. To look at it another way, the #1 hit song which comes and goes in a few weeks, never
to be heard again, may generate enough royalty income to keep the writer comfortable for a few
months, but then what? Either the writer has to come up with a #1 hit every few months (not an
easy feat, even for very successful writers), or the writer would be better off with a few songs
that become ‘standards’—ones with such broad appeal that many artists record them, are picked
for use in movie soundtracks, are performed on television, and thus continually generate income.
Any professional writer will tell you that a portfolio of a few standards is more valuable than a
flash-in-the-pan hit tune. It does not necessarily take crafting to get a song on the charts. A song
can gain that distinction other ways:

by taking advantage of a current craze

by the appeal of the artist rather than the song
by luckily being in the right place at the right time
by being a good recording or production as opposed to a good song
by having a big promotion budget
by having the right industry ‘connections’
through creative internet/viral marketing and street-teaming

There is nothing wrong with achieving commercial success by any of these routes, as long as it is
not mistaken for good songwriting. None of the above things can make a standard which com-
municates a timeless message to the common person, independent of how it’s produced, who
sings it, or how it’s promoted. Just think of the synergy and royalty potential you’d have if you

22
combined a song of standard-caliber with any of the above hit-making factors.
Thus, songwriting is a two-phase process. There is the initial creative process, wherein the song
is being born, and during this phase, your conscious self is really a bystander as the creative
process flows from deep within you. This is much akin to the way a mother’s body goes on ‘au-
tomatic pilot’ when a child is being born. The body’s own miraculous internal mechanisms know
what to do and don’t need any conscious guidance. However, once the child is born, the mother
then becomes an active participant in shaping what the child will finally turn out to be. This is
the second phase of songwriting, wherein the writer now takes control of the subsequent devel-
opment of the song. A parent who, either through experience, intuition, or formal learning, un-
derstands the problems of parenting and knows ways of addressing those problems, can help
shape a happy, well-adjusted human being. The songwriter who knows the kinds of problems
that are common in songs and who knows what tools to use to correct them has the potential to
shape songs with timeless appeal; a “Perfect 10”.

Intuition vs. Analysis: The Wise ask the ‘Why’s’.

Will learning about all these tools and using them as suggested guarantee you better songs?
Learning about anything means expanding your knowledge. It requires an investment of your
time, energy and commitment, but knowledge is one investment that always pays good divi-
dends. Still, we know that many successful writers don’t know how to read music, don’t know an
anacrusis from a catalexis, think that ‘simile’ is what you do when you have your picture taken,
and that an ‘oxymoron’ is a muscular person with a low I.Q. Yet they can write standards and
enjoy commercial success. This does not mean they aren’t artisans. It does mean that they are
among those very rare individuals who have an intuitive understanding of the songcrafter’s tools.
Without knowing the technical names or anything about how things work, their sense of what
‘feels’ right is incredibly acute. This is a natural, inborn gift, and if we all had it, we’d all be
writing standards. Being creative in the sense of being able to hear a song in your head or feel
music in your heart does not guarantee that you have the intuition to craft it to perfection. That is
a far more rare ability, usually requiring some kind of specialized training to develop the sense of
song crafting and the knowledge of how to use the tools of the trade. The natural ability to gener-
ate raw material and the natural intuition to know how to shape it are two very different things.
Unfortunately, the first is often mistaken for the second.
Even if you are a writer who does have a good intuitive sense of when a song is ‘right’, working
strictly by intuition never really lets you know the WHY’s of what makes the song ‘right’ or
WHY it doesn’t work. Thus, it is more difficult to replicate your successes and avoid your mis-
takes when you work solely by intuition. Also, intuitive crafters are usually not the best persons
to teach others, for they only know how they, in their own intangible, individual way, can create
songs. Thus, in the absence of clear how’s and why’s, there’s little in the way of concrete ideas
or techniques that other writers can apply to their own writing.
Knowledge of songcrafting tools helps put you more in control of your creation. I have listened
to and participated in constructive critiques of thousands of songs. Frequently the critiquers are
unbiased listeners who themselves are songwriters in the process of developing their own skills.
The majority of comments often contain phrases like “that didn’t feel right”, “the chorus didn’t
quite work”, or “the feel of the rhythm was off”. To a writer unfamiliar with the tools of

23
songcrafting, these kinds of comments indicate that more development needs to be done on the
song, but they give no indication as to precisely WHAT needs to be done. This is not the fault of
the listeners. The typical listener only knows what he/she ‘feels’ and only likes what ‘feels’
good. But the songcrafter needs to know what causes a listener to feel a certain way.
Knowing the tools of the trade can allow a writer to take relatively vague feedback like the above
comments, pinpoint their precise cause, and fix the problem. Unbiased feedback is extremely
valuable to any songwriter, but its value can only be actualized if the songwriter knows how to
interpret and apply the information.
Another situation common at critique sessions occurs when there is a professional writer or
knowledgeable songcrafter in the group who offers very precise comments like “I really like the
use of alliteration and assonance in the pre-chorus. However, the third line of verse two has a
wrenched accent which could be corrected by an anacrusis, the first couplet of the chorus con-
tains a mixed metaphor, and the lyrical cadence of line 4 should be sung tuple instead of duple.”
Feedback of this type is invaluable because it deals with specifics, offers suggested corrections,
and indicates elements in the song that are working well.
However, if the writer of the song does not know the tools of the trade, and does not understand
the vocabulary, it will be hard to make effective use of feedback like this. At this point you may
ask “Why can’t the writer just ask what all that stuff means?” or “Why can’t the critiquer just say
all of that in plain English instead of showing off with fancy words?” Those are both good ques-
tions (they have indeed been asked many times at critique sessions). If writers are very new and
not used to having their work laid bare to unbiased feedback, they may feel embarrassed to admit
not knowing what the critiquer’s comments mean, but this fear usually dissipates after a few ses-
sions when the writers realize that everyone in the group is being honestly supportive, and not
judgmental. The real problem is that if critiquers had to explain every one of the terms used in
the comments, it would take a considerable amount of time, and instead of being able to provide
feedback on many songs in an evening, the session would either become a lesson on the tools of
songcrafting or become an all-night affair.
Thus, the use of technical words is not esoteric nor is it for the purpose flaunting a large vocabu-
lary. Technical terms communicate large amounts of information in just a syllable or two. Being
well-versed in the vocabulary of the trade allows you to exchange and assimilate far more infor-
mation in a short time than if you did not know the names of things and what they can do. It
takes only a second to point out there is a “mixed metaphor” in your chorus, but it may take sev-
eral minutes to have to explain what that means and why it detracts from the effectiveness of
your song lyric. A better way to spend those several minutes is in a course, in a private lesson, or
with a book like this so that when you have an opportunity to communicate with other profes-
sionals and colleagues, you can give and take as much information as possible in the shortest
amount of their (and your) valuable time.
To present that point from another perspective (an alternate metaphor), if you were a carpenter
on a work crew and the master builder gave you some molding and told you “route an ogee and
make a compound miter”, it would be assumed you knew what that meant. The place for learning
those names would be in trade school or from books or from mentors. Those are terms of the car-
penter’s trade and the names carry a great deal of information about what the master builder ex-
pects you to do. Songwriting, and any other field of endeavor, has its own special set of tools,
each with an unusual name. Knowing what the tools do and what they are called allows song-

24
writers to communicate with each other more effectively about the complex topic of song craft-
ing.
I recall in particular a presentation by a successful hit writer who had written a number of songs
recorded by a top rock artist. The writer was trying to describe a technique of melody writing,
but he knew none of the vocabulary to be able to describe the process in terms of musical inter-
vals and scales. It was evident that his point was lost on most of the people in the room. This was
a case of someone with excellent intuitive crafting skills being unable to help others understand
his techniques, because he could not express the concepts in specific musical terms which, even
if one did not understand, could be looked up in a reference book, as opposed to trying to find
meaning in vague phrases like, “you kind of go a little ways in this direction and see what it feels
like…”
Thus, the use of unusual and technical words in this book is not to burden you with strange and
useless vocabulary. It is done to provide you with more effective means of communicating with
peers and for giving you labels to help you understand and remember the tools we discuss.
Will better songcrafting vocabulary guarantee that you’ll write better songs? Sticking with our
carpenter metaphor, consider the scenario of giving the exact same set of tools to a hundred dif-
ferent carpenters, and asking each to build a house, with no plans or restrictions, and using the
same raw material. You would end up with a hundred different houses, some of which would be
noteworthy, some ordinary, some large, some small, some durable, and some shoddy. If the tools
and materials are the same, then the difference in results could only be attributed to the vision,
values, and abilities of the individuals.
Changing metaphors now, instead of carpenters, how about a class of kids with a box of crayons?
The same box of 64 Crayolas in the hands of a hundred different persons will yield a hundred
different images. Such is the case with the tools of songcrafting. They are like crayons. The tools
give one the potential for creating the masterpiece, but how effectively the tools are used is al-
ways subject to the vision, values, abilities and limitations of the individual. Thus, our title,
Songcrafters’ Coloring Book.
Incidentally, the analogies of carpenters and crayons in the above discussion make a ‘mixed
metaphor’, which is why I made a specific point of telling you that we were switching the field
of reference. If instead I had said “64 different kinds of chisels in the tool chest…”, staying with
the carpenter metaphor, the discussion would then be ‘tone constant’, reflecting the ‘conceit’ of
“songcrafting = woodworking”, which would be the ‘controlling image’. You’ve just been
slipped some songcraft vocabulary.
To summarize:
The benefits of learning and applying the tools of the song crafter include:

Enhancement of a song’s ability to communicate

Greater conscious control during the development process of the

song

25
 Greater understanding of why things do or do not work in your
song

Greater ability to make use of feedback you receive from listeners

Greater ability to analyze and appreciate the works of other writers

More consistent replication of your successes and avoidance of re-
peating mistakes
Having a common framework to allow you to communicate more ef-
fectively with peers, collaborators, and other music professionals.

And of course, all of the above increase your chances of meeting with some commercial success
and/or artistic success, whichever is your primary goal. If one’s definition of success is solely
monetary, then creating well-crafted songs is not a requirement for a commercial success. How-
ever, consider the fact that there are really two types of commercially successful songs – the
“Standard” which is covered by hundreds of other artists and which endures for decades, and the
“flash-in-the-pan” song, which is there one moment and then gone forever, like the one-hit-won-
der bands which often do these types of songs and then fall into the abyss of obscurity. A well-
crafted song is always going to have a better chance of becoming an enduring standard (and
source of royalties) than a song which makes the charts due to a particular current trend, craze,
event, or promotion effort. All of those things fizzle and fade (along with the royalties).
Consider also that well established stars, even those who write their own songs, at some point in
their careers often decide to do an album of Standards (Linda Ronstadt, Rod Stewart, Smokey
Robinson, and Cyndi Lauper are prominent examples) You don’t often find lots of covers of the
one-hit wonders. The well-crafted songs of today are the standards of the next decades. The
choice is yours, but you have to be fully cognizant of the options and the likely result of choos-
ing one option over another.

First Draft It, Then Craft It.

To clearly understand what is meant by songcrafting, let’s look at what is NOT meant. The
process of creating a song is never exactly the same for any two people. It may even vary from
one song to another within the same person. Since 1979, I have conducted or otherwise partici-
pated in hundreds of songwriting programs given by the Connecticut Songwriters Association.
These afforded a chance to hear many successful writers describe their songwriting processes,
and the way their hit songs came to be written and recorded. These include George David Weiss
(“Can’t Help Falling In Love”, recorded by Elvis Presley, “What A Wonderful World”, recorded
by Louis Armstrong, and many other standards); Bobby Weinstein (“Goin’ Out of My Head”
and “Hurt So Bad”, recorded by Little Anthony and the Imperials and hundreds of other artists);
Gary Burr (“Love’s Been A Little Bit Hard On Me”, recorded by Juice Newton); Sheila Davis
(“Who Will Answer”, recorded by Ed Ames); Paul Leka (“Green Tambourine” recorded by The

26
Lemon Pipers, and “Na Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye”, recorded by Steam); Scott Zito (“Welcome
to the Wrecking Ball” , recorded by Grace Slick); Fred Koller (“Going, Gone”, recorded by
Kathy Mattea); Herb Gart (who discovered Bette Midler); Gene Pitney, Rupert Holmes, Alex
Forbes, Jeff Franzell, Julie Gold, Steve Katz, Alan Roy Scott, Pete Seeger, Steve Chapin, and so
many more. I have interviewed successful writers like Grammy winner Tom Chapin, Herbert
Kretzmer (lyricist for “Les Miserables”), Bill Harley (from NPR) and Bill Staines (“All God’s
Critters”) and I have spoken to thousands of amateur*, professional, novice and experienced
writers whom I’ve met through various programs, conferences, and courses.
*“Amateur” is used here in its true sense, one who writes for the love of writing instead of for
commercial reward. whether achieved or yet-to-be-achieved. The opposite of amateur is profes-
sional. “Novice” here refers to anyone who is relatively new at songwriting. The opposite of
novice is experienced or seasoned.
Amidst all the diversity of style, method and level of accomplishment, there is a common thread:
The initial creative process, by which the song first comes into being, and the subsequent crafting
process by which it is refined into a final product, are two distinct and separate processes. That is
to say, no one, not even the most successful professional writers, consistently gets a creative in-
spiration and immediately writes a perfectly crafted song on the first try. If that happens – and
sometimes it may - it’s as rare as the Perfect 10.
The creative process by which an idea first takes hold and grows into an irresistible inner drive,
forcing one to set words down on paper or sending one scrambling to an instrument to noodle
about, trying to give some shape to that inner urge, is very individual. It has no right or wrong
way, no better or worse way. It is as much a part of a creative person as the color of their eyes or
hair. It may come as music first, lyric first, both together, chorus first, verse first, only lyrics,
only music, etc.
As such, no one other than you can provide a set of guidelines for how your own creativity
“should” work. That is NOT what songcrafting is about. Songcrafting begins after the energy of
a creative frenzy is spent. One clear difference between an experienced writer and someone still
finding their way is that a seasoned writer is keenly aware of this point, while a novice writer
may not be.
Creativity and craft are very different processes. The first is primal, driven by emotion and spiri-
tuality, while the second is calculated, driven by analysis and thought. The successful writer will
tell you that to try to be analytical while you are feeling a creative surge will quickly stifle the
flow of creative energy. Tom Chapin and Bill Harley, both exceptional and successful writers de-
scribed this during my interview with them as having a little “editor” or “monitor” sitting on
your shoulder while you’re trying to create something, all the while pointing out the flaws. It is
imperative to be enough in touch with yourself to know when you are feeling creative, and at
those times, stifle the little editor; take the textbooks and the rhyming dictionaries and hide them
away. Let the creativity flow of its own accord and let it be in control of you, rather than the re-
verse.
However, when that creativity is spent and you look at the kernel of a song that it has produced
for you, then it’s time to take out the crafting tools, and remind yourself that no matter how ex-
hilarated you are by what you have just created, it is going to need some calculated reworking
and conscious, informed choices to bring out the best in what your creative self has produced.

27
The creative energy has brought the raw gemstone up from the mine within you, and now the
gemcutter, the craftsperson, will begin the task of making that stone realize its full potential.
Because of the great variation between individuals, the creative and crafting phases may differ
greatly in their time-relation to each other. In some individuals, the creative surge may last min-
utes, hours, even days. Perhaps more than one song will be born during that time. The crafting
process varies as well, although the more skilled one is at using the tools, the more streamlined
this phase might be. Variations from minutes to weeks are not uncommon, and often a writer
switches hats back and forth between the two processes. This points out why it often takes a col-
laborative team to write successful songs. The differences in perspectives and abilities of one
collaborator can compensate for areas where there other is weak. (See discussion of collabora-
tion in Chapters 6 and 23) The more you actively practice crafting, the easier and more intuitive
it becomes.
To summarize: If you are one of the rare individuals who has the gift of being able to tell intu-
itively when a song is the best it can be, then throw this book away, and more power to you. But
if you’re like most of us, where the creative process produces only a raw gem which needs some
detailed polishing to make it shine, then welcome aboard to the EWO world of the parameters of
songcrafting. Although there is certainly extra effort required to effectively apply these tools, the
alternative is to fly by seat of your pants…and do you really want your songs to come from the
seat of your pants?

Snips, Snails, and Puppy Dog’s Tails

That, as the nursery rhyme goes, is what little boys are made of. But what is a song made of? In
order to make informed choices and fine-tune your songs, it is essential to understand the basic
elements.
A parameter is a factor which can have settings or values which can vary over time, or which can
remain constant. A song (or painting, novel, film, etc) is the sum total of the settings of its para-
meters. All art forms have their own set of parameters, but all art forms apply those parameters
toward a common end – connection and communication with an audience to share emotions and
ideas.
Consider a painting—unlike a song, a painting does not involve the dimension of time. All of its
parameters, once ‘set’ remain constant. Some parameters in a painting include hue (color), value
(intensity), texture, outline definition, subject matter, perspective, type of media. Note that styles
(abstract, realist, surreal, cubist, impressionist) are not parameters. They are the result of particu-
lar combinations of other factors. A single subject can be rendered in many different styles, de-
pending on how other factors are treated.
In a novel, some parameters would be: characterization, time flow (linear, flashback), scope
(does it cover hours, years, generations?), point of view (“me/you”, “he/she”), subject matter,
pacing, tone, setting (time and place). As in the case of a painting, the ‘style’ is the result of the
combined values of all the other factors. A gothic horror novel and a Western could be written
with similar styles (characterization, time flow, point of view all equal), but differences in the
subject matter and setting would result in very different end products. Conversely, two novels

28
could have similar settings (both 1890’s Westerns) but differences in the other parameters could
turn one into a comedy and one into a horror tale.
A song is a very complex art form because it typically entails two complete entities, music and
language, and they must be soul-mates of each other. Each of these have their own set of parame-
ters, all moving in time, thus interacting at yet a higher level of complexity. As in the above ex-
amples, musical styles like jazz, folk, country, hip-hop, or blues result from particular combina-
tions of parameter settings.
The number of factors to be considered in a song is formidable (See “Anatomy of a Song” Chap-
ter 1). Think of them as your options for making choices. Many writers tend to work instinc-
tively, not really viewing the elements of a song as discrete factors to be set by conscious choice.
You may in fact freely choose how to set each of these variables, but to do so, you must know
what the possible settings are, and the result of making a particular selection.
Song parameters can be divided into three broad groups:
1)- Lyric factors
2)- Music factors
3)-Whole song factors
The three broad categories of lyric parameters are:
• Semantic elements (relating to meaning)
• Prosodic elements (relating to rhythm/cadence of words and
phrases)
• Sonic/Phonetic elements (relating to the sound and structure of
the words)
The individual factors in each category above will all be discussed in detail later on.
For now, consider that semantic elements are prominent when a song is about something of
depth and importance, and the phonetic elements play the key role when a song is a simple ex-
pression of feeling or emotion without attempting to convey a more complex message.
Music parameters include:

• (the musical distance between successive pitches)

Melody
• Har- (the musical distance between pitches at
mony the same point in time)
• (the division of time into discrete units)
Rhythm
• Dy- (volume variation, or amplitude)
namics

29
 • Tim- (tonal color, as determined by the overall shape of the sound
bre wave, or waveform)
These are the five primary music factors. There are some others, but these five are the big guns.
Do not confuse actual parameters with the result of particular parameter value combinations. For
example, ‘swing’ is not a parameter. It is the result of a particular treatment of rhythm. ‘Accent’
is a result of dynamics. ‘Tempo’ is a function of the time-divisions of rhythm. ‘Key’ and ‘Range’
are functions of melody. ‘Voicing’ is a treatment of harmony. ‘Tremolo’ is a varying of dynam-
ics (volume) and ‘vibrato’ is a variation of pitch. All of these things ultimately contribute to a
musical feel or style.
Consider the effects of adjusting these musical parameters like faders on a mixing board. If one
or more factors are left to be totally random, (which you are free to choose to do), the result is
what we know as aleatory music, a style championed by composer John Cage, who sometimes
left almost everything to chance. We see some of this in jazz improvisation, where the music is
what’s created in the moment. An improvised solo may never be played exactly the same way
again.
In these music styles, a choice has been made to allow random things to happen. Contemporary
bands calling themselves “Jam Bands”, or “Freestyle” bands choose to allow randomness to be-
come part of the music, and they choose to create music which is ephemeral (i.e. never played he
same way again). The New Jersey-based Jam Band Elament performs with their backs to each
other so that they can’t cue off of anything other than the musical groove in real time—a con-
scious choice.
The opposite end of the spectrum would be music where one or more factors are carefully prede-
termined according to certain rules or equations. This is a very cerebral type of music as shown
by the work of Milton Babbitt. An approach to using highly calculated music parameter settings
is to concentrate heavily on only one, eliminating others*. There is a school of composers whose
music is primarily that of changing color (timbre); no melody, harmony or rhythm to speak of.
Some composers deal in the extreme with melody, in the manner of Arnold Schoenberg, where
the overriding factor in a piece is the order of the 12 notes in a chromatic scale. These atonal
works, sometimes called tone poems, try to set the melodic/harmonic element of key, or tonal
center, to zero.
Any time a music parameter is set to an extreme, the result is going to be something that is far out
of the mainstream, and difficult for most to listen to and appreciate. There will however, always
be a niche which appreciates the experimentation. As composer Brian Eno once said “Avant-
garde music is sort of research music. You’re glad someone’s done it but you don’t necessarily
want to listen to it.”
If you are the type of creative person who likes to explore the boundaries of music, push the en-
velope and try radically different things, one of the EWO choices you’ll have to make is the bal-
ance between fulfilling your desire to experiment, and the smaller audience size that goes with
experimental styles. It’s not a matter of right or wrong, just your conscious choice.
If your songwriting objective is to write something with a broad appeal, you probably don’t want
any particular parameter to be extreme, but you would want to fine-tune each one to contribute
optimally to the whole.

30
 *We don’t actually “eliminate” a parameter. We make a choice to set it to zero, so it is not
present in the overall result. It’s like pulling a fader on a mixing board all the way down.
The track controlled by the fader is still there, but no longer in the mix. Its absence is a
conscious decision. Consider Hip-Hop, or any type of rap, where there is essentially no
melody (it is set to zero by choice). The musical emphasis is on rhythm and timbre, and the
lyric has a high sonic activity setting (discussed later). Some music consumers say that rap
is not really music because there is no melody to sing. The melody parameter is there, con-
sciously set to zero, in favor of emphasizing rhythmic and phonetic elements. That may
produce a result that does not appeal to people who want to hear a melody, but it’s not ac-
curate to say it isn’t music or song.
Because of the complexities of language, lyric parameters are quite numerous, which is why a
truly good lyricist is the most rare and valuable commodity in the songwriting world.
Some examples of lyric parameters are foot/meter (the rhythm or cadence of the words); white
space (the empty space between words); rhyme scheme; conceit (an implied, unifying metaphor);
and various language devices, both semantic (dealing with meaning) and phonetic (dealing with
sound). These include simile, rhyme, alliteration, assonance, chiasmus, oxymoron, etc.. All these
elements are discussed in detail in later chapters.
There are some musical and lyrical elements that affect the song as a whole. Whole song parame-
ters include: Subject matter (focus); point of view (“I/you” vs. “he/she”); tone (serious, satirical,
preachy, humorous); time flow (How does time progress in the song? What is its scope?); format
(story-song or list-song); prosody (the interaction of the lyrical cadence and the musical accents);
structure (verse-chorus-bridge); and marriage (the meshing of the mood/feel of the music and
mood of the lyrics); The sum of all the musical and lyrical factors combine to give us ‘style’,
‘genre’, ‘feel’, ‘mood’, ‘groove’, etc.
Many parameters interact with one or more others to produce particular results. For example, if
the subject matter (focus) of a song is ‘the happiest day of my life’, then you would probably not
use minor harmony (this is why focus is a whole-song parameter, rather than just a lyric factor).
However, if the tone of the lyrics was satirical or humorous then you very well might use minor
harmony to emphasize this point.
If all of this sounds complex, it is. That’s why it’s so important to remember the Olympian, never
surrendering, always striving for the Perfect 10, even though it’s difficult to achieve. There is
tremendous allure to following the path of least resistance, saying, with great pomp and certainty,
“I’ll just write what I feel however it comes out, and be true to myself”. Unfortunately, this is
often a mask for surrendering to the effort it takes to wield the tools of the songcrafter.
What does it take to really be “good” at songwriting? In his book “This is Your Brain on Music”
(Journalistic/Expository Songwriting: Just the Facts, M’am), Daniel Levitin describes studies at
several universities that examine how one develops an expert level of ability in music or any
other activity (chess, sports, writing). The essential finding is that it takes about 10,000 hours of
practice to achieve world-class expertise in anything. That is essentially twenty hours a week
over ten years. And it is important that one genuinely cares about what is being practiced. One
can be born with great natural talent, but expertise as a craftsperson comes with the price tag of
work and patience. Further, one must not confuse practicing the skills of performance (stage-
craft) and production (studiocraft) with those of songwriting (songcraft). They are completely

31
different (yet equally artistic) endeavors.
The intricate nature of song parameters makes clear why a good song is such a treasure, and so
often takes a great deal of skilled craftsmanship. Frequently, we work in the dark, not realizing
what parameter setting is ‘off’ and how we need to adjust it to make it better. A common method
of doing this is to solicit feedback, rewrite, solicit more feedback, and keep doing this until the
majority of unbiased listeners ‘like’ the song. In this way, you can get the song to ‘work’ but you
may not ever know exactly why. Thus, you may not be able to replicate your success in the fu-
ture, or avoid repeatedly making the same missteps in subsequent songs.
Taking the time to learn about song parameters allows you to make better use of the feedback
you get. If people tell you the lyric ‘doesn’t work’ for them, you could then analyze each para-
meter of your lyric and see if the rhyme scheme is off, or the meter, or if you have a mixed
metaphor i.e., a metaphor about apples in a song full of oranges. Maybe someone will say the
‘rhythm doesn’t feel right.’ Only by analyzing it would you see that perhaps your music is in a
duple meter while your lyrics are in a triple meter. If you understand these factors, you will know
how to correct the problem. Remember, the average listener does not know all the technical vo-
cabulary and can usually only indicate that ‘something isn’t right’. It is up to you to develop the
skills to analyze the song and identify the specific problem.
I cannot over-emphasize the usefulness of learning to view things as being made up of parame-
ters. It’s like donning a special pair of glasses that allows you to see music, art, or most anything
in a new way, with a new understanding. But most importantly it clarifies for you what your
choices are, what will result from those choices, and puts you in control of your creative output
with your Eyes-Wide-Open.

Chapter 3: Role Call: You Are Bartholomew Cubbins

In the beginning, Bartholomew Cubbins didn’t have 500 hats.
He had only one hat. – Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
The first step to achieving the EWO vision is fully understanding how generating and crafting a
song relate to the many other parts of the process in getting a song from a tickle in your mind to a
widely distributed professional recording. There are three parts in the journey from creative in-
spiration to released recording. These are:

• Cre- the process of conceptualizing, creating and crafting the song,

ation - including getting critique and making revisions.
• Real- the process of taking the finished song from paper (or in your
ization head) to master recording
-
• Pro- the process of getting copies of the song as widely dissemi-
lifera- nated to as many people as possible through a recording or
tion - live performance

32
Within these three phases, a number of different things must happen, each requiring different
types of skill sets. Each related group of tasks that must be done comprises a role. In big label,
big budget projects, each role may have a dedicated person (or more than one person) doing
those tasks. For the typical Indie artist, all the roles are filled initially by you. These are the many
hats you have to wear. The reason it often seems so daunting is that the knowledge and skills you
have will fit some of the roles, but not others, and when you come to a point where those roles
need to be filled by skills you don’t posses, you feel adrift.
If you know what each role is, when it is needed, and the skills required, you will be in an EWO
state, and you will be able to continue to move ahead with much less stress.
Let’s take a look at some of the key roles required to get a song from beginning to end.
The Figure on the next page shows the three phases and the roles required for each phase. This
groups the roles into four distinct skill sets :

Songcraft —the skills required to conceptualize, write and refine the song
Stu- —the skills needed to get a song produced, recorded, mixed,
diocraft and mastered
—the skills of producing and executing live performance, and
Stage-
tours, and marketing and distributing the recorded versions of
craft
songs (Sellcraft)
Actual songwriting occurs in the Creation phase. Realization involves arranging, recording, and
production, while Proliferation centers around distribution, and promotion (including live perfor-
mance and touring). Each of the roles below is a combination of creative elements and technical
elements, but the skill sets and objectives for Realization and Proliferation are different than
those for the initial creation of the song.

33
Let’s be very clear on what a “song” actually is. Legally and traditionally, a song is a melody and
a lyric. That is what is protected by a song copyright registration. A title, a concept or an arrange-
ment cannot be registered as a song. A given lyric and melody can be set to different arrange-
ments and can be registered as new entities, but those are derivative works* from the original
song, i.e. the words and melody. Typically, the initial version of a song has chords to go with it,
but chords are not required, and the same words and melody can be set to different chord
arrangements. A jazz instrumental arrangement, choral arrangement, big band arrangement and
folk guitar arrangement of the same words and melody are quite likely to have different underly-
ing chords (harmonizations), rhythmic patterns, song structure and perhaps an occasional word
change. These are elements of arrangement, and are separate copyrightable entities as derivative
works* of the original melody and lyric. They require permission from the original copyright
owner(s).

Derivative work, as described in the U.S. Copyright Office Circular

14: A work that is based on (or derived from) one or more already exist-
ing works, is copyrightable if it includes what the copyright law calls an
“original work of authorship.” Derivative works, also known as “new
versions,” include such works as translations, musical arrangements,
dramatizations, fictionalizations, art reproductions, and condensations.
Any work in which the editorial revisions, annotations, elaborations, or
other modifications represent, as a whole, an original work of author-
ship is a derivative work or new version. … To be copyrightable, a de-
rivative work must be different enough from the original to be regarded
as a “new work” or must contain a substantial amount of new material.
Making minor changes or additions of little substance to a preexisting
work will not qualify the work as a new version for copyright purposes.
The new material must be original and copyrightable in itself. Titles,
short phrases, and format, for example, are not copyrightable
Thus for purposes of this discussion and the Creation-Realization-Proliferation paradigm, Cre-
ation will focus on the initial writing of a melody and lyric, along with (optionally) the initial ac-
companying chords. Anything beyond that (for example when the rest of the band or the pro-
ducer starts adding parts or backing vocals) becomes part of Realization, i.e. deciding stylistic el-
ements of how the song will be arranged and produced.
(Many bands create their arrangements simultaneously with creating the song. In those cases,
it’s important to have an understood collaboration agreement as to how ownership is appor-
tioned. Also, see the discussion of collaboration, Chapter 23)
As songwriters, we want to be able to create a lyric and melody, which if sung a capella or in
any stylistic arrangement, will always stand on its own as a well-crafted song. That is how a song
gets covered by many artists across several different styles. (For an excellent discussion and
unique historical perspective on the essence of a song, see the essay “The Myth of the Song

34
Poet”, by folk legend Jack Hardy at www.jackhardy.com.)
As a totally self-contained Indie artist, you may indeed have to wear all 500 hats, but while you
are acting as a songwriter, you have to deal with only four roles: Lyricist, Composer, Idea Gener-
ator, and Sounding Board. Remember that one person can fill more than one role (e.g., you write
both the music and the lyrics) or one role can be filled by more than one person (e.g., two people
collaborate on a lyric). The Lyricist role is the one which writes the lyrics. The Composer creates
the melody and optionally, the initial chord accompaniment. These are well known and easily
understood roles.
But where do the inspirations for songs come from? What ignites the spark to want to write
about something? This is the role of the Idea Generator—the one who has the “songwriter’s an-
tennae” always extended, scanning life for moments to be captured in a sonic snapshot. Many
songwriters generate their own ideas, from life experience, from an event in the news, from a line
in a book or from seeing something on TV. But just as easily, it could be someone else who pro-
vides the key idea for a song. That person may not write a single lyric line or melody note, but
they can provide the spark, the hook, the central premise that becomes a song.
In that case, they are acting as the Idea Generator. It is important as a songwriter to always re-
main open to all sources of inspiration. The person who insists on being totally self-contained
may miss out on some great ideas that come from others. If someone else provides the idea for a
great song, an idea is not a copyrightable entity, thus you are not required to credit them as a co-
writer, but it may be good business and interpersonal etiquette to do so. That becomes one of
your early choices. If there is one less co-writer, you get a larger piece of the pie. But will it
cause hard feelings and possibly burn a valuable bridge? Like all choices in the arts, there is no
absolute ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ decision. Just the one that seems right for you, and you can only
make it if you stop to think about it.
The fourth role in the realm of Creation is that of Sounding Board. This is one role which is
usually impossible to fill yourself, and it is an extremely important part of Creation. Sadly, many
writers are afraid of this role and leave it out of the process, under the guise of many different ex-
cuses, to their own detriment.
The Sounding Board is the person (or persons) whom you let hear your early versions of the
song, or see the initial drafts of the lyric, to get feedback and constructive critique. The skills re-
quired in order for this role to be valuable to you are that the person(s) filling it have no reason to
say they like or dislike your song for any reason other than its own merits. This means that your
spouse, your mom, your dog, or your employee will not effectively fill this role (unless they are
also a qualified music evaluator whom you know can be objective). A music professional, a
knowledgeable teacher, a qualified songwriting coach, or a Songwriter Association provide good
sources of constructive feedback.
Think back to our Olympic athletes – how would they ever reach their full potential if they didn’t
have a qualified, objective person observing them and telling them what was good and what
could be improved. If all they ever got was a supportive parent or partner saying “good job!” and
“great effort” to everything, without someone pointing out areas for improvement, there would
be limited advancement of skills and no intensifying of inner drive. However, there would be that
warm fuzzy feeling of affirmation, which everyone likes.
On the other hand, if all one ever heard is relentless criticism, which unfortunately can also come

35
from parents and loved ones, there is no better way to kill motivation and creative spark. And in
both cases, eyes would certainly not be wide open to what could really be achieved. Only you
can determine where the right balance lies for you.
Many songwriters tend to avoid objective critique, but it is one of the surest, fastest ways to ad-
vance your skills. For more on this, see the section on “Taking the Mystique Out of Critique” ,
Chapter 24.
In my years of song critiquing, I’ve seen too many writers bring fully produced studio record-
ings, representing significant time and money, to critique sessions. This falls outside the Cre-
ation-Realization-Proliferation paradigm, as a fully produced song is supposed to be ready for
Proliferation, while the Sounding Board role as it relates to critiquing the song (as opposed to the
production), is part of the Creation phase. When good suggestions are made that would really im-
prove the song, the writers are faced with unpleasant choices: go back to the studio and spend
more time and money to make the improvements, or live with a song they know could be made
better . (NOTE: The Sounding Board role in the Realization phase relates to input on arrange-
ment and production. In the Proliferation phase, the Sounding Board offers input on marketing
strategies).
The simple way to avoid this rock-and-hard-place situation is to get your constructive feedback
early in the process, before anything is fully committed to a final form. Then, adjustments are
easy to make and don’t cost anything. Rewriting and revising is an integral part of songcrafting,
thus its value lies in the Creation phase. In your songwriting process you now have two more
choices:

(a) to seek out or to avoid critique, and

(b) (assuming you do get input), to accept or reject the feedback you re-
ceive.

You are always in control of your artistic choices, even when the options come from a source ex-
ternal to you (unless you are under contract to that source…). It is not easy to offer up your cre-
ation for strangers to pick at, but to avoid critique is to deny yourself the opportunity to make
choices, and if your head is in the sand, you cannot have your Eyes Wide Open.
Once you move beyond the Creation phase, there are many new hats to wear, each with a differ-
ent set of skills. Your choice is always

(a) Do I do fill the role myself, and

(b) If not, how do I decide who to get to fill it?.

(For more on this specific question, see the discussion of communication preferences, see Chap-
ters 6 and 23)

Don’t Let Misunderstood Roles Roll Over You.

36
Let’s look briefly at the roles in the Realization and Proliferation phases so you will be clear as
to how the non-songwriting hats relate to the overall process. If you have written your song and
are going to record it yourself in a home studio, you are acting as the producer, and session man-
ager. When you add new parts, you are acting as the arranger. If you run your own equipment,
you are acting as the engineer(s). And most likely, you are the financier. Be absolutely clear that
when you’re wearing one of those hats, you are not acting as a songwriter.
Songwriters often lament that having to spend so much time with the technical and business stuff
takes away from their time to write and create. Of course it does. You only have one head (at
least most of us do…) and thus can only wear one hat at a time. Your choices in this situation,
for each of the roles are:
(a) Can I fill this role well enough to do the job or could someone else do it
better?
(b) Is it worth paying someone else so that I don’t have to wear this hat at all
and I get more time to be creative?
(c) Can I afford to pay someone else to do it?
(d) Can I find someone I trust to do the job to my standards?

In a big-label, big-budget recording project, there is going to be a separate person (or persons)
for each role in the Realization process. In typical small Indie studios, one or two people may act
as producer, arranger, session player, and all three engineers (recording, mixing, mastering).
You’ll want to find out which skill sets are this person’s (or persons’) strongest and weakest. It is
not unusual for a song to be recorded in one studio, but mixed and mastered elsewhere, due to
the different skill sets involved.
To demonstrate the importance of understanding the different roles and their relationship to the
songwriting process, let’s focus for a moment on the producer, one of the least understood roles.
In the strict sense, the producer is the one who gathers and coordinates the resources necessary to
execute the project, which in this case is usually a recording. In many cases, the producer also
acts as the arranger, deciding what parts get added, then actually creating those parts (an arrang-
ing task) and adding them (the roles of session player and engineer).
One tale of woe I hear all too frequently is the saga of how the producer, having added many
parts and having helped shape the song, now wants credit as a co-writer i.e., some percentage of
the copyright ownership. It sometimes gets to the point where the songwriter withholds payment
and the producer refuses to give the writer the masters. This happens because of misunderstand-
ings about roles, and it is easily avoidable.
This type of dispute usually revolves around two things – credit, and money. First, be clear that a
producer/arranger may in fact contribute creative input that shapes the final recording. However,
that is not part of the songwriting. Give credit where it is due i.e., as an arranger and producer,
but not as a songwriter unless the producer has materially helped re-write melody and/or lyrics,
in which case they are in fact a co-writer. However, that still does not mean you are required to
credit them as a writer, depending on how your initial working agreement was structured. If you
hired the producer under a fee-for-service arrangement, the work-for-hire rules probably apply,

37
whereby when one agrees to provide services for a fee, the product of those services is owned
entirely by the one who did the hiring. However, this is often not discussed up front between the
songwriter and the producer, leading to all kinds of subsequent disputes.
Further complicating this type of situation is the fact that the producer is likely wanting co-writ-
ing credit not so much because they want the recognition, but because they want a piece of the
backend monetary pie (i.e. subsequent royalties from the song). If a producer/arranger said to
you that they did not need to be credited as a writer, but they wanted a certain percentage of fu-
ture royalties (usually called “points”), that is a much more accurate and reasonable request. And
of course there is another “however”—depending on the specifics of your working agreement
(and most working agreements, if they exist at all, are sorely lacking in specifics) you may still
not be required to give the producer points, but you may choose to, considering the following :
(a) How much did they contribute?
(b) What exactly was agreed to up front?
(c) Do you want to maintain this professional and personal relationship or
burn the bridge?
(d) Is it worth the aggravation to fight over?
(e) How much are the points worth to you versus the relationship?
(f) If the producer were credited as a co-writer, would it motivate them to
help promote the song?
(g) Do they have valuable contacts they might pitch it to?
(h) How likely is it that this song will even earn any future royalties? If so,
how much? (to get the answer to this question, see the 4-Fader Para-
digm, in the next section)
(i) How do you balance principle and practicality?

There is no single right or wrong answer, only what fits your specific situation. Note that in the
absence of some specific agreement about points, you are not required to give them nor should
your master ever be withheld from you if you have paid for the services rendered.
If you are the financier i.e. the one paying the bills, then you are in control. However, you need
to know your choices and their potential results.
The simple guidelines for avoiding this common situation are as follows:
• Discuss up front the details of your working relationship. In the Indie world, assume that the
person you are negotiating with does not have the same detailed understanding of roles that you
do (unless they have also read this book).
• Negotiate your front-end price and specify what it does or does not cover.
• State specifically that the person’s services are being retained on a work-for-hire basis, and all

38
creative input is to be owned solely and wholly by you. Most small studio, Indie producers
should agree to this with no problem. If they do not, be prepared to negotiate further or look else-
where. If they insist on a piece of future royalties, will they reduce their up-front price? (Con-
versely, you can choose to offer a piece of the back-end in exchange for a price reduction on the
front-end).
• If you agree to give something for their creative input on arrangement/production make sure
it’s as a percentage of the back-end as production points, not as a co-writer.
• Specify what happens if they make material contributions to the melody or lyrics. If that is
spelled out up front, there should be no disputes later on.
• Specify exactly what you will walk away with in your hands when your project is done. (i.e.
not just a mixed master recording, but all your individual tracks on a hard drive in a specified
format, and all your midi files and studio notes)
• Specify when and how payments will be made.

Keep in mind that most small studio producer/arrangers want to be paid up front and will not
make an issue of back-end payments if you specify your terms at the outset. The agreement
should be a written legal document, but you do not need an attorney for these kinds of agree-
ments; just a clear knowledge of the roles and tasks involved, who’s responsible for what, the
key “what if” scenarios, and plain language to spell it out. If you’re not sure about how to write it
down, you can certainly consult an attorney, but that can be costly. It’s another choice you’ll
have to make.
This highlights an important EWO point: If you’re faced with a choice and you don’t like any of
the options, always ask if there is another alternative – creative people can usually find another
route. Given the choice between writing an agreement with no attorney or paying the cost to hire
a lawyer, you may not like either option. As an alternative. there are some excellent music busi-
ness books which provide agreement forms and templates for you to use. “Music Law: How to
Run Your Band’s Business”, by Rich Stim, from Nolo Press, is a good example. You’ll find a
way if you keep your eyes open to the fact that it’s always your choice.
To look at it another way, if you’re writing a lyric and you need a rhyme with “love”, you have
very few options: above, of, shove, glove, and dove. None of these are great choices, as they’ve
been used over and over and don’t lend themselves well to an exciting line, so find an alternative.
Some additional options are:

re-work the line to get “love” out of the rhyming position

use a different word
keep the line as is and alter the rhyme scheme so it’s a non-rhyming po-
sition
use a near-rhyme.

39
 You can find a way. The EWO principle tells you: If you don’t like the options for a given
choice, look for another way before finally deciding. If you can’t find one, you’ll at least sleep
well knowing that you gave it your best effort. That what Olympic athletes do. (See also the
Kobayashi Maru test and Captain Kirk’s solution to it in the movie “Star Trek: The Wrath of
Kahn”)

Chapter 4: The Four Faders of Songwriting Success

“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost. . There is where they should
be. Now put foundations under them.” – Henry David Thoreau
“Any great work of art … revives and readapts time and space, and the measure of its suc-
cess is the extent to which it makes you an inhabitant of that world—the extent to which it
invites you in and lets you breathe its strange, special air.” - Leonard Bernstein
“We believe that not every song, not every artist, not every album, is created equal.”-
Edgar Bronfman Jr., Chairman, Warner Music Group

Now that we’ve had an overview of Parameters and Roles, we’re ready to look at one more para-
digm—that which deals with the parameters of why songs achieve or fail to achieve commercial
and/or artistic success. This paradigm will be known as the Four Faders, using an analogy we’re
all familiar with: the controls on a mixing board (see diagram below).
For any song you can name, someone will say “It’s a great song !”—For any song, there will al-
ways be at least one person, besides the writer and his/her circle of friends, who thinks so. Others
will say “It stinks”.
The song may make the Top 10 in several countries, or in a regional market, or it may never be
played on any station. It may sell a million downloads, or none. It may become a pop culture
icon, or known only to a cult following. It’s easy to say that a song is popular or not, or that it’s a
hit or not, but that gives no insight as to WHY. It does not tell you whether the song is well-writ-
ten or not.
Most average listeners, when they say “It’s a great song !” really mean “Regardless of whether
it’s well written or not, there’s something about it which appeals to my personal taste or relates
to my personal situation i.e., I like it”. “like” does not equate to “well-crafted”, and vice-verse.
Let’s look at four factors. Since parameters can vary and be set at certain levels by conscious
choice, let’s think of them as faders on a 4-channel mixing board. You can set each of the faders
at maximum, minimum, or in between. The combination of the four yields a particular ‘mix’ or
result. Using the diagram on the next page, our four faders for looking at a song are:
—Effectiveness,
—Craftsmanship
—Breadth of Appeal

40
—Depth of Appeal.

These four factors help clarify the role that craft plays in songwriting.

The Four Faders of Successful Songwriting

Effectiveness refers to whether or not the song elicits the desired effect when heard by as lis-
tener. The songwriter, through their intent, controls 100% what that desired effect is, but the lis-
tener controls 100% what the actual effect is when they hear the song. Thus, effectiveness is a
shared parameter: Typically a songwriter wants their intent and the effect to align. Some com-

41
mon desired effects might include:

wanting listeners to cry uncontrollably when they hear the song;

wanting listeners to get up from their seat sand shout “Hallelujah!”
wanting listeners to excitedly tell all their friends that they just must hear
this new song!
wanting listeners to purchase the CD or track.
wanting listeners to feel outraged about a particular situation
wanting listeners to feel good about their life

… and so many other possibilities, all defined completely by you, the songwriter.

Appeal is controlled 100% by the listener. It is a totally subjective parameter, based on individ-
ual taste. Either your song appeals to someone or it doesn’t. The songwriter has no say in that.
When people say “music is all subjective” or “it’s all just opinion”, they are usually referring to
appeal, unaware that there are other channels on the mixing board.
However, there is one instance where you can exert some control over Faders #3 and 4. When
writing a song for niche marketing, i.e. a song designed to be pitched and appreciated only by a
bounded demographic (Hockey Fans, Train Enthusiasts, Boy Scouts, Massage Therapists, Biolo-
gists, Coin Collectors, etc) you are automatically lowering Fader #3, Breadth of Appeal, because
you are targeting only a defined segment of the overall population. This is a good thing when
done with Eyes-Wide-Open because when you have an audience with a known common interest,
it is easier to market the song and achieve higher Depth of Appeal (Fader #4) to compensate for
the lower setting of Fader #3. If too-narrowly focused references are used without the intent of
niche-marketing, the song will fall short of your goals. (See Chapter 7 for full discussion of Ap-
peal).
The one parameter that is 100% under your control as the songwriter is the craftsmanship which
goes into your song. Craft refers not to the tools and techniques you use, but to the degree of skill
you have in applying those tools and techniques. You can choose which tools to use, how to
apply them, and with what level of skill. Wisely chosen and well applied, craft will help align the
writer’s desired effect and the listener’s actual response, and it will help broaden and deepen the
appeal of your song. Craft, as Fader #2, is the bridge between Channel 1 and Channels 3-4 on
our mixing board.
Once we understand each parameter and how they affect songs, we can then talk about how you
can control them. Using our Olympics metaphor, many Olympic events are judged by two para-
meters: Degree of Difficulty and Execution, and the final score is the sum or product of both.
The Degree of Difficulty is like the Craft fader (#2), and the Execution is like the Effectiveness
fader (#1). If the Olympic audience voted, e.g. American Idol style, (fortunately they don’t…)
that would be the Appeal parameters, (faders #3 and 4).

42
How Do You Effect an Effect that Affects People’s Affect?

Of the Four Faders, effectiveness is the parameter that is easiest to define and measure. An effec-
tive song is one which elicits the specific response that you want the listener to have. You are the
one who defines what that desired response is – tears, laughter, thoughtfulness, action etc. There
are three levels of response that a listener can have when hearing a song:

To feel something (an emotion is triggered)

To think about something (you are moved to give thought to an idea or
situation)
To act on something (you are moved to turn your thought into some
considered action)
Please note:In this and all following discussions, there is no value judgment made or im-
plied about one type of song being “better” or “worse” than any other. All products of
creative effort have value, however they do not all have equal ability to cause a particular
effect in a particular listener. You are completely in charge of what effect to want to cause,
and the EWO principle here is that of recognizing types of songs accurately for what they
are, so as not to form any unrealistic expectations as to the types of reactions they might
elicit.
As you might guess, the simplest type of response to successfully elicit from a listener is to have
them feel something. This ease with which this can be done is a double-edge sword.
Music, even without words, usually evokes a feeling, pleasant or unpleasant. For a great resource
on how the brain responds to music, see “This Is Your Brain on Music” by Daniel J. Levitin,
Dutton Press, 2006. Simple, sincere words, without music, can evoke a feeling. Random verbal
or visual images, without music, can evoke a feeling. The emotion in a voice just making sounds
(no words) can evoke a feeling (think of Donna Summer’s 22 simulated orgasms in the long ver-
sion of “Love to Love You Baby”). Instrumental texture can evoke a feeling (heavy metal with-
out guitar distortion would not be very heavy). Thus if your specific objective in writing a song
is simply to evoke a feeling – any feeling—you don’t have to work very hard lyrically to achieve
that objective and be effective if you know what type of music carries what type of emotive trig-
gers.
So what’s the other edge of the sword? Because music and an emotive voice so easily evoke feel-
ings, the part of us that does not like to expend extra effort is naturally drawn to this type of
song. It becomes easy to get comfortable churning out songs that just express raw emotion, and
you might never come to realize what you’re capable of creating, or the reactions you could be
getting, if only you tapped additional energy from your reserves. You can be excellent at writing
this type of song, but have your Eyes Wide Open to the fact that it is like being a world-class
pole-vaulter with the bar set at nine feet instead of nineteen feet. If you have thousands of fans
responding to your raw emotive songs, what’s to say you wouldn’t have tens of thousands, or
more if you went to the next level of evoking thought and action?

43
If the Olympian in you can achieve a 6 or 7 out of 10, how would you ever know your full poten-
tial if you didn’t try or were not encouraged to try for a 8, 9, or 10? (See the discussion of Appeal
and Ullage, Chapter 7) As you work your way through difficult parts of this book, think of it al-
ways as encouragement to continually try for the next step above where you are; to stretch your-
self to find new boundaries. Don’t settle for a 7.
To look at it another way, recall our analogy of a song being a gemstone brought up from your
inner mine of creative ideas. The farther down in the mine shaft you have to go to bring some-
thing to the surface, the more effort it takes. The more intermixed it is with other materials, the
more effort it will take to purify. To evoke an emotion through a song, you don’t need to dig
down too deeply, and what comes out is usually pure feeling. To go to the level of getting others
to think and act, you need to explore many more corridors of your inner self, bring forth cohesive
and persuasive ideas, and process them into a higher state of linguistic and musical clarity. Thus,
you’re expending more effort to purify the gem.
As you know, there are many feeling-only songs that are commercially successful. Does that au-
tomatically make them effective and well-written? Think of our 4-channel mixing board. There
is no direct link between commercial success and either effectiveness or craftsmanship. They are
on different channels. Commercial success is linked to the two faders dealing with appeal. You
are in charge of your definition of success, and for many, being an effective songwriter, indepen-
dent of appeal, is the primary measure of success.
You can think of Effective, Well-Crafted songwriting (Channels 1-2) as being artisti-
cally/critically successful, and songwriting with Appeal (Channels 3-4) as being com-
mercially successful.
They are however, distinctly different. You are the one running the mixing board, and it does not
have to be a choice of one or the other. Aiming for both is always an option, although it is the
more difficult, but perhaps most rewarding choice.

The Dating Game: Presenting a Song is a Social Interaction

So how do you get a solid handle on the interrelation of song, effect, and listener?
Think of a song as a conversation, a social interaction between you and a stranger. This is essen-
tially what occurs when you present a song to someone. Understanding this concept is one of
your most powerful songwriting tools !
We’ve established that you have choices and you are in control of your selections and defining
the outcome you want. If that sounds too easy, it is, because there is one other important factor in
the mix. Think of typical social situations where you make a series of choices – what to wear,
how to do your hair, the scent to use, what to say, how to act – all designed to make the specific
impression that you desire. This works out only if the person on the other end of the social inter-
action is on the same wavelength as you, and their expectations are met. Otherwise, you can
make all those carefully thought out choices, but the experience becomes the job you didn’t get;
the pick-up line that fell flat; the sales pitch that didn’t pan out; the audition that went nowhere;
the relative you didn’t mean to offend; the prank that only you thought was funny.

44
The Blind Date

If you intend to have an audience, there are two sides to the interaction. An important EWO prin-
ciple is to always show respect for your listener by anticipating and meeting (or surpassing) their
expectations. Think of presenting a song as if you were going on a blind date. You are asking a
stranger to share some intimate time with you. Now think of all the things that make a blind date
successful or disastrous. If you only talk about yourself and never invite the other person into the
conversation, will there be a second date? If you genuinely try to connect but you just have no
common interests, will there be a second date? If you make the other person do all the work to
figure out what you’re talking about, will there be a second date?
And on top of all of this, not only were you the one who asked the person to come spend this
time with you, you are asking THEM to pay for the date! They pay for the transportation to your
gig; they pay the entrance fee at the door; they pay for your CD and your merchandise; they give
you their time and attention. Clearly, it falls to you to make the experience worthwhile for the
person whose favor you are courting.
The successful blind date is a one where the time together is an equally shared experience, per-
sonal connections are made, and common interests and tastes are found. Ultimately, you are in
charge of shaping the experience, but go into it with your eyes-wide-open. . If there is even the
hint that you feel you are doing the listener a favor, or that it’s really about you and not them, you
are compromising your chances of affecting the listener a positive way.
The two faders dealing with Appeal will be discussed in Chapter 7, but while we are on the topic
of blind dates and songs as a social interaction, this now leads us to the most important EWO
principle in all of songwriting: Expression vs. Communication.

Chapter 5: Expression vs. Communication

The Golden Key to Effective Songwriting
“Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.”
– Anne Morrow Lindbergh
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
- George Bernard Shaw

The principle that people do not like to expend more effort than is necessary is not only relevant
when you are trying to write the best possible song, but it also applies it to your audience. The
people listening to your song don’t want to expend any more effort than is necessary to under-
stand what you are presenting to them. Always make it as easy as possible for your audience to
react the way you want them to. Remember, you’ve invited them on a blind date, and you are
asking them to pay for it !
What is one of the most frustrating of all human experiences? You explain something to some-
one as clearly as you can, and they say “Huh? I don’t get it. Can you explain that again?” So you

45
explain it again in a different way, now sure that you’ve made it clear. And you get “Huh? I still
don’t get it…” This dance can go on, but each time, you feel increasingly frustrated, you flail
more vigorously, speak louder and eventually just lose patience. The interaction does not gener-
ate any kind of positive vibe.
Then there are the situations where you explain something to someone, they say “Yes, I get it”,
and they then proceed to do something which shows they completely misinterpreted what you in-
tended. Again, no positive outcome.
Being misunderstood is universally one of the most unpleasant human experiences. In extremes,
in can drive people insane or to acts of desperation. The need to be understood is an essential part
of the basic human need to be accepted and to belong.

EXPRESS or COMMUNICATE—What’s the Difference?

Picture yourself in Africa, wandering aimlessly through the jungle with tears streaming down
your face and your heart broken because your pet gorilla has forsaken you and run off with a
group of other apes. You’re living the universal story of rejection and lost love, the stuff of great
songs.
You stumble into a village of natives, (members of the tribe called the “Audiants”), who gather
around you and seem curious as to what’s going on in your life. Unable to choke back the sobs,
you spill your life story, your hopes and dreams, joys and sorrows. The natives just stand and
stare at you, as you hear a few snickers and see a few smiles. You grow irritated that they have
not responded the way you thought they would, so you jump up and down and yell angrily at
them about all the pain and injustice you have endured. You’re now an angry chick; a dude with
‘tude. Still, they stand and stare, their snickers growing louder, their smiles wider. You can’t un-
derstand how it can be that you have expressed such intense feelings and emotions to these peo-
ple and have gotten no reaction, no sympathy, no connection. Quite simply, you don’t speak their
language and they don’t speak yours, and you were too wrapped up in your own despair to no-
tice. You most certainly have expressed yourself, but there has been no communication.
Expression is the outward display of that which you think or feel inside. It’s a process of sending
signals or transmitting messages. Expression does not address what happens to those messages
after they are sent. Communication deals with both the transmission and reception of a message.
If a message is received the way it was intended, then communication has occurred (note that one
does not have to agree with the message, just correctly receive it). Communication doesn’t nec-
essarily have to involve words, although this is the most common method. Communication can
occur via sign language, images, Morse code, etc, but whatever the method, connection is made
possible by the existence of conventions that both parties understand. Communication is the glue
that connects people with others. When expression is mistaken for communication (i.e., “I ex-
pressed myself so you MUST have understood me…”) we get all the unhappy social situations
that result from not feeling connected and the frustrations of not being understood.
So what does this have to do with songwriting? Quite a bit when we remember that in general,
songwriting is a two-phase process i.e., creating and crafting. The creation phase of a song is uni-
versal in the sense that everyone “does” it. Unless creation occurs, there cannot be a crafting
phase, since there would be nothing to work with. The creation process is very individual, with-

46
out rules or restrictions. Everyone finds inspiration in his or her own way, and expresses it with
individuality. However, this is where some of the major areas of confusion arise in discussions
and critiques of songs and songwriting.
How often is it heard at song critique sessions or among groups of artists that “there are no rules
in songwriting” and “how can anyone else critique MY song” and that “I won’t compromise my
artistic integrity for the sake of commercialism!”
In the world of creative expression, it is true that there are no rules, because everyone is free to
think and feel what they want and to put those thoughts and feelings “out there”. The creation
phase of a song is directly connected to inner feelings, thoughts, and emotions; thus, music and
lyrics that come from that process are quite personal and genuine. If those lyrics are never in-
tended to go anywhere else beyond the writer, then nothing more needs to happen. The song does
not need to be performed for an audience or brought for critique.
However, if the writer really wants to share this snapshot of his or her inner self with others, and
wants others to connect with it, then all of a sudden, it has entered the realm of communication,
where, like it or not, there are established principles which determine whether or not the words
will elicit a desired feeling, thought, or action.
You’re hammering a nail into a piece of wood, and you miss the nail and hit your thumb. What
comes out of your mouth? A string of colorful words we can’t print here. That’s pure expression.
It’s born from inner emotion (pain, frustration, anger, embarrassment), and it flows easily. You
don’t care if anyone else hears it or not. And most importantly, its primary purpose is to make
YOU feel better; to ease YOUR pain; to soothe YOUR frustration. If you truly want others to
sympathize with your plight of having mangled your thumb, you need to convey it in a way that
is easy for the listener to understand (no extra effort on their part), and in a way that gives them a
reason to listen and to care i.e., some relevance to them.

The Stranger Test

What would be your typical reaction if a stranger came up to you on the street and started telling
you about his pain and frustrations? Or showing you photos in his wallet of people you don’t
know? Would you care or would you want them to go away? Would you give this person your
time, attention and support? As a songwriter trying to establish an audience and fan base, you are
in the position of the stranger. You need to make a listener care enough about what you’re saying
to give you some of his or her valuable time.
One of the most powerful tools you have in your writing is the “Stranger Test”. When you are
facing a choice about what to do with a particular song, whether it’s in the Creation. Realization,
or Proliferation phase, ask yourself how you, or any ordinary person might react if a total
stranger approached and said/did whatever it is that you are thinking of saying/doing with your
song. Why would they want to give you their time and attention (and money)?
The first decisions a writer faces are “What do I want to have happen when someone hears my
song?”, and “How important is it to me that the listener understands what I am really saying and
not just overlaying their own interpretation?” The question of interpretation is a key one for an
effective songwriter. (Discussed thoroughly in Chapter 8) If you want to maintain control of

47
your message, then you don’t want the listeners to impose their own belief about what they think
you are saying. If you really want some vanilla ice cream and you say to your significant other
“please go to the store and bring back some of that delicious white creamy stuff that I love”, you
really can’t blame them if they then present you with a container of milk or a jar of mayonnaise.
By not being specific in what you said, you left it “open to interpretation” and didn’t get the re-
sult you wanted.
As a songwriter trying to communicate, what you really want is notfor each listener
to come away from your song with their own personal truth, but to come away with a
personalized version of your truth.
Quite often, a song is music-oriented and is driven by a beat or a groove, with lyrics that remain
vague and non-specific. This is fine as long as the intent is only to evoke a mood or feeling or to
get people to dance. By definition, music itself, without words, is an abstraction and can only ex-
press, not communicate. Great orchestral works like “Peter and the Wolf” (Prokofiev), “The
1812 Overture” (Tchaikovsky), “Petroushka” (Stravinsky), or “Rodeo” (Copland) are all writ-
ten around very specific scenes or events, but the music, great as it is, cannot convey any of the
specifics, and can only evoke general feelings and images which a listener flavors in his or her
own way.
Without the verbal explanation of the story and the roles of the instruments in Peter and the
Wolf, or knowing the Mardi Gras setting of Petroushka, the chances of anyone actually under-
standing the story from just hearing the music is small. In expressive songs or dance tunes, where
the music is the driver, the words are not functioning as carriers of meaning (the semantic para-
meters are set near zero). They are really functioning as an additional part of the musical texture,
to enhance a mood, and it’s important to have your eyes wide open to that and not mistakenly be-
lieve that “these are great lyrics that people will relate to!” But do consider the possibility of
what could happen if you had an irresistible musical groove going and you did in fact put well-
crafted, meaningful words to it. How much could that expand the song’s appeal?
As an example, consider the Patti Labelle hit and standard “Lady Marmalade”, written by
Bob Crewe and Kenny Nolan. Although best known for its infectious groove and seductive hook
“Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?”, the song has a story with characters, events, motiva-
tions, and some great lines e.g. “Now he’s at home doin’ nine-to-five, wearing his grey-flannel
life”. It was a #1 hit in 1975, and again 26 years later from the soundtrack of “Moulin Rouge”,
and has had other incarnations including use in TV commercials.
Communicating effectively though a song is an amazing challenge when you think of
what’s going on. In normal human interaction, there is constant two-way checking to insure that
meaning is understood. Phrases like “What did you mean by that? “; “Could you please re-phrase
that?”; “Let me see if I got this right”; “Is that what I heard you say?” all serve to get people
aligned so that there is one common interpretation. In a song, the communication is not interac-
tive – you have three minutes to speak your piece with no feedback from the person(s) on the re-
ceiving end to tell you if they are “getting it” or not. Thus, the rules of communication become
extremely important.

Basic Principles of Communication Through Song

48
 1. SPECIFICITY (Discussed also in Chapters 7 and 10-13)

An essential songwriting skill is to be able to easily recognize a word as concrete (accessible by

at least one of the five senses – flower, sun, perfume, fire, water) or abstract (a concept which
lives only in the mind, in the world of intangible ideas – love, loneliness, rejection, injustice,
friendship).
If you want the listener to “get it”, and understand what you are saying, as opposed to what they
decide you’re saying, be specific. Using concrete references is essential. If all the reference
words (nouns) in a song are abstract, you are opening up the message to either misinterpretation,
total confusion, or indifference. When you leave things wide open for interpretation, the princi-
ple of expending the least effort means that the listener is simply going to overlay their own
meaning over what you are really trying to convey, rather than work to decipher your intent. Aim
for enabling a listener to experience a personalized version of your truth. Leave space for them to
enter your song, but it’s still you orchestrating the experience.
Most songs are about abstract things like love, loneliness, friendship, happiness, peace, etc, but
in order to communicate, those abstractions are presented in concrete, sensory-oriented terms.
Nashville usually turns out songs where you always know what is going on. You know who’s
talking, what they’re feeling, and what it’s all about. You can visualize the scene, as there is an
extremely concrete and sensory-oriented who, what, where, when, why, and how. Regardless of
whether or not you are a fan of country music, you have to acknowledge that the songs are gener-
ally well-written. It takes some practice to be able to say “I don’t like that song, but it’s very
well-written”. (Conversely, you can say “I like that song even though it’s not especially well-
written”). When you can do that, you clearly understand the independent settings of the craft and
appeal faders on your four-fader mixing board.
2. CONVEYING THE DETAILS OF TIME, PLACE, SITUATION, and
MOTIVATION. (Discussed also in Chapter 16)
A second principle of communication through song is to quickly address the six W’s: Who,
What, When, Where, Why, how. Get as much information to the listener in the first few lines so
that there is a clear sense of the setting, the people, and the situation. This then allows the lis-
tener, and you as the writer, to spend the rest of the song on the moving the story or message
along. Using the Stranger Test, if a stranger started telling you about some event, until you knew
the six W’s, you ‘d be wondering what they’re talking about and why you should care. Also,
consider how often you hear people say “get to the point!” You want to know quickly whether or
not you should invest your time in listening further.
Look at these opening lines from three hit songs, and see how much detail and sensory input they
provide:
Bus stop, wet day, she’s there, I say, “Please share my umbrella”
Bus stop, bus goes, she stays, love grows, under my umbrella.
All that summer we enjoyed it, wind and rain and shine
That umbrella, we employed it, by August she was mine.
(“Bus Stop”, by Graham Gouldman, recorded by the Hollies)
Riding on the City of New Orleans

49
Illinois Central Monday morning rail
Sixteen cars, sixteen restless riders,
Two conductors, twenty-five sacks of mail.
(“City of New Orleans”, written by Steve Goodman, recorded by Arlo Guthrie)
Hot August night and the leaves hanging down and the grass on the ground smellin’ sweet
Move up the road to the outside of town and the sound of that good gospel beat
Sits a ragged tent where there ain’t no trees, and that gospel group telling you and me it’s
Brother Love’s Traveling’ Salvation Show
(“Brother Love’s Traveling Salvation Show” written and recorded by Neil Diamond)
For other great examples of conveying lots of information in a very compact way, look at old TV
theme songs like The Beverly Hillbillies, Gilligan’s Island, The Brady Bunch, etc. The whole
story is told in a minute or less.
3. TONE CONSTANCY / SEMANTIC FIELD
(Discussed also in Chapter s 14-15)
Another principle of communication is semantic field, which is closely related to context. Take
the simple sentence “That was the finest set I have ever seen.” If you think you know what that
means without any other information, you’re betting against the odds.
That line can mean completely different things depending on whether it was said by:

A maker of chess pieces

A tennis player
A volleyball coach
An antique TV collector
A leering guy in a bar
All the words in a lyric have to work to provide clear context, which is accomplished by keeping
all the words in the same semantic field (if you’re writing about apples, don’t talk about oranges,
if you’re writing about fruit, then apples and oranges are okay, but don’t talk about celery, etc).
This is called tone constancy. The semantic field is determined by the overarching metaphor that
governs the song – and there can be only one in a song – it’s hard enough to communicate clearly
about one idea in three minutes, let alone more than one idea. Set your overarching metaphor to
match the audience you’re trying to reach. Consider these lyric references from the hit “Back-
field In Motion” (words and music by M. McPherson and M. Hardin)
Backfield in motion, I’m gonna have to penalize you,
Backfield in motion baby, you know that’s against the rules.
…
Offside and holding, holding on someone else
…
First down you start cheatin’ on me
Second down, I was too blind to see

50
Third down, you know I love you so
Fourth down, baby I got to let you go
These lines only makes sense to people who know the details of football, but since that number is
millions of people, it provides a large audience who will ‘get it’. This would be tone constant if
the overarching metaphor were love=football, but that is not the case. To broaden the net, other
sports references are added to the lyric.
You know you’re balking, baby,
(oh yeah) strike three you’re out
Strikes and balks are in the realm of baseball.
You beat me to the punch honey,
But you hit me below the belt
These lines refer to boxing.

The lyrics as a whole are tone constant against an overarching metaphor of love = a sports event.
The balance being dealt with here, which affects Faders 3 and 4 on our mixing board, is choosing
between

(a) Depth over Breadth: a more narrowly focused metaphor, (football) and creating maximum
impact within that semantic field—or
(b) Breadth over Depth: a more broad metaphor (sports) possibly appealing to more people, but
mixing the metaphors of football, baseball, and boxing and perhaps diluting focus and impact.
The song was a #10 hit. Could it have been a #1 hit with the tighter focus, or would that have
kept it out of the top 10?. We can’t know the answer in hindsight, but we can know what the op-
tions were, and you can make your own choice in your own songs.
For another great example of highly focused tone constancy and semantic field, look at Billy
Joel’s classic song “Only the Good Die Young.”

Only the Good Die Young – words and Music by Billy Joel
Come out Virginia, don’t let me wait
Catholic girls start much too late
But sooner or later it comes down to fate
I might as well be the one
They showed you a statue, told you to pray
They built you a temple and locked you away
But they never told you the price that you pay
For things that you might have done.
Only the good die young
You might have heard I run with a dangerous crowd
We ain’t too pretty we ain’t too proud

51
We might be laughing a bit too loud
But that never hurt no one
So come on Virginia show me a sign
Send up a signal I’ll throw you the line———————-
The stained-glass curtain you’re hiding behind
Never lets in the sun———-
Darlin’ only the good die young
Semantic pivot sun/son

Note the semantic

pivot of ‘line’, using
both the abstract and
concrete meanings, i.e.
a life-line, or a pick-up
line.

You got a nice white dress and a party on your confirmation

You got a brand new soul
And a cross of gold
But Virginia they didn’t give you quite enough information
You didn’t count on me
You were counting on your rosary—————————
Note the semantic
pivot of count/count,
using both the abstract
and concrete meanings.

They say there’s a heaven for those who will wait

Some say it’s better but I say it ain’t
I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
the sinners are much more fun…
You say your mother told you all that I could give you was a reputation
She never cared for me, but did she ever say a prayer for me?
In the 30 lines of the song, there are 17 unique Catholic-related references, more than one per
couplet. More importantly, there is not one single reference outside of the Catholic semantic
field. Thus, the focus and impact of the song is truly maximized. Interestingly, Billy Joel did not
intend for the song to have the effect it did, i.e. being banned as anti-Catholic. He told Perform-
ing Songwriter magazine “When I wrote ‘Only the Good Die Young’, the point of the song
wasn’t so much anti-Catholic as pro-lust. The minute they banned it, the album started shooting
up the charts.” Bordowitz, Hank (2006). Billy Joel: The Life & Times of an Angry Young Man.
New York: Billboard Books. Being banned is what helped the initial commercial success in 1977,
but being well-crafted is what enables the song to endure for decades after its initial release.

52
The above examples show the use of widely recognized semantic fields, i.e., sports and Catholi-
cism, the symbols of which are known to millions of people. But what happens when the refer-
ences in a song are too narrow and refer only to things that are personal to the writer?
At a critique session I was conducting, a writer presented a song about driving through the streets
of Montgomery, getting pulled over by the cops for speeding, and paying a visit to the local jail.
Many listeners in the room thought the song had some hidden social commentary, as Mont-
gomery Alabama, the home town of Rosa Parks, was the birthplace of the modern civil rights
movement, and the clashes between the police and activists throughout the 50’s and 60’s is well
known. As it turned out, the writer had none of this in mind – the song was meant to be nothing
more than what was on the surface, yet an entire roomful of people was on a different wave-
length.
The reason for the disconnect became obvious when the writer informed everyone that he was
talking about his home town of Montgomery New York, a little village known to virtually no one.
Thus, without anything other than the name “Montgomery” to set the scene, and references to
police actions, of course everyone thought of the well known location and incidents in Alabama.
The best thing for the writer to have done here was to change the name of the town used in the
song, and to specifically say that it was a small village and his home town.
A great example of the need for commonly known references in communication was depicted in
an episode of Star Trek: Next Generation, called “Darmok”. A race of people spoke in English
words but no one had a clue what they were talking about because everything they said only
made sense if you knew the characters and events of a particular story from their culture. Even if
you’re not a Star Trek fan, it is worth watching that episode as a lesson in communication. Simi-
larly, if you’re writing a song and use images and references known only to you, or a select few,
you seriously compromise the chances of being understood. You’re expressing yourself, but not
communicating
Finally, consider Don McLean’s classic “American Pie.” I recall when the song first came out,
there were endless debates about what all the references meant. One of my friends was sure it
was about the Beatles and the Rolling Stones having a battle of the bands at the Super Bowl. Just
as in the “Darmok” example mentioned above, some missing key was needed to have it all make
sense. As soon as a person became aware that the song referred to the plane crash of February 3,
1959 that killed rock stars Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and the Big Bopper, everything was per-
fectly clear. The unstated metaphor of “plane crash = death of music” now gave specific context
to all the references.
The plane crash and the related events were not as widely known as sports or Catholicism, but
there were enough people who knew about it to get the word out to those who didn’t. The song
was well enough written, with its infectious chorus, to make them want to get the word out, and
to make people want to understand. The song, originally released in 1971, reached #1 in the U.S.
in 1972. Since then, the story of the plane crash has become the subject of movies, documen-
taries, and websites, and has been brought into the mainstream awareness of many more people.
The take-home lesson from this song is that if you use an overarching reference that is not known
to the masses, then the song needs to either:

(a) make it clear to the listener what that reference is (e.g., Montgomery,

53
 New York) so that they don’t have to expend extra effort trying to
figure it out;
(b) be well enough written to pique people’s curiosity so they will want
to find out what it means (i.e., they’ll willingly expend extra ef-
fort);
4. CONTRASTIVE STRESS
(discussed also in Chapter 18 along with all the other prosodic parame-
ters)

Another element of verbal communication that we often take for granted is the effect of dynam-
ics (loud/soft) and cadence (pattern of spoken accents). In typical English communication, a
word in a sentence that is stressed (louder than the others) automatically conveys “as opposed
to”. This is called the principle of contrastive stress. For example:

He didn’t drink his beer TODAY. (as opposed to having drunk it some other
day)
He didn’t DRINK his beer today. (as opposed to having slurped it or
snorted it)
He DIDN’T drink his beer today. (as opposed to the assertion that he did
drink it)
He didn’t drink HIS beer today. (as opposed to having drunk someone else’s
beer)
Thus, the exact same sentences have totally different meanings, depending on where the accent
falls. When you’re putting words over music, the music forces accents to go in certain places.
Thus, to communicate effectively, the natural verbal accents (both words and syllables) must
align with the natural musical accent, or else you change the meaning of what you’re trying to
say. This alignment of verbal and music cadence falls under the heading of prosody.

Another example:

Sally screamed, I heard.

Sally screamed! I heard !
Sally screamed, “I heard!”.

Here we have a combination of contrastive stress and differences in the timing, reflected by the
different punctuation. The difference in the spacing between the words, which we’ll call “white
space”, is discussed in Chapter 19. The take-away message for now is that a difference in the de-
gree of pause between words as well as the emphasis on words can alter your intended meaning.
In general, a short pause implies a comma, a little longer pause is a semi-colon, and a bit longer
still is a period. Say the three versions of the sentence above out loud in a natural way, and listen

54
to the differences in emphasis and timing.
A third element in interplay of lyrical and musical accents is the overall placement of a phrase
within a musical measure, and within a grouping of measures (called phrasing). A phrase can be
correctly aligned with beats and stresses but if it starts on the downbeat as opposed to a later beat
in the measure, the emotional effect will be different (assertive/emphatic/aggressive, as opposed
to passive/tentative/humble). If it sits in the second or fourth bar of a 4-bar musical unit, the ef-
fect will be different than sitting in the first or third bar. There are up to 77 ways to set a phrase
across two bars of music (depending also on the number of syllables in the phrase) when the
phrase starts on other than the downbeat, assuming an eighth-note pulse-rate.* Each will have a
different overall degree of emotional impact.
*When dealing with setting a phrase into two measures, if the phrase starts on the second
eighth-note in the first measure, it can end on any of the remaining 6 in that measure, or
any of the eight in the next measure (total of 14). If a phrase begins on the third eighth-
note in a measure, it can end on any of the remaining 5, or any of the eight in the next
measure (total of 13). and so on through that first measure, giving 14 + 13 + 12 + 11 + 10
+ 9 + 8 or a total of 77 possible combinations of starting/ending positions across two
measures, when the downbeat of the first measure is empty.
Whether or not a song needs to communicate is completely a matter of what the writer wants to
accomplish. If the only desire is to have people dance to the music, then the words really don’t
matter much and they can just be expressive to convey a mood, or they could just be nonsense. If
the purpose of a song is to make a connection between writer and listener, to create a specific
thought or action, and perhaps to become a timeless standard, then the lyric needs to clearly com-
municate something meaningful to a wide demographic.
Having discussed the degrees of effectiveness, and the difference between expression and com-
munication, we can now look at how these interact with each other based on the method used by
the songwriter to present his/her message. There are three primary methods of presentation.
(These are described by Sheila Davis in “The Songwriters Idea Book”, Writers Digest Books,
1992 page 3. I highly recommend all of Sheila’s excellent books.)
These are, in order of increasing complexity:

Atti- A simple expression of a specific emotion or attitude.

tudi-
nal:
Situa- A emotion or attitude is framed in a specific situation.
tional:
Story Events unfold as a story with a plot and characters and begin-
Song: ning/middle/end.

EX-
AM-

55
PLES:
Atti- I“’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna take it anymore !”
tudi-
nal:

Situa- I“’m mad as hell because I hate my job and I’m underappreciated!”
tional: OR
“I’m mad as hell because my boyfriend cheated on me!”

Story I“’ve been working at this job for 20 years, here are some things that
Song: happened that made me feel this way. Here’s the lesson I’ve learned
and how I’ll resolve it.
OR
” I thought we had this great relationship because of these things he’s
said and done, but I found out through these specific recent events
that it was all a lie, and now here’s what I’m going to do”
If we look now at how the type of presentation of your message interacts with the potential lis-
tener response and affects Fader #1 (Effectiveness), we get the diagram on the following page.
As you can see from the diagram below, as the complexity of the presentation and the response
increases, we move farther away from simple expression and into the realm of communication.

To Summarize: One of the biggest decisions you have to make is whether you want your song
to Express or to Communicate. Effectiveness is a shared parameter, with the intent defined by
you, the songwriter (what you want to have happen when someone hears your song), and the ac-
tual effect defined by the listener. Your objective is to get these two things to align. If you want a
listener to connect and care about your song, you are bound by the rules of communication and
must place the listener’s desires and expectations high on your list of things that shape the song.
This is not “selling out” – it is respecting your listener. You have some control over this by de-
ciding who you want your listeners to be, i.e. everyone, or a select group. If the only purpose of a
song is to express and not to communicate, have your Eyes Wide Open to the likelihood that the
majority of listeners may not be able to find a reason to invest themselves emotionally or com-
mercially in the song or its presenter.

56
Listener Response as a Function of the Songwriter’ Presentation

57
 Chapter 6: People Are Strange, When You’re a Stranger (or How We Com-
municate)
The Keys to Managing the Faders
For many people, one of the most frustrating aspects of life is not being able to understand
other people’s behavior—Richard Carlson, author, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff . .. and it’s All
Small Stuff”

Now that we can view presenting a song as a social interaction, and know the difference between
expression and communication, we can apply this to what matters most in your songwriting ca-
reer – people! Your listeners, your fans, your business partners, your support system, and your-
self.
Music is first and foremost a people-driven business, where artistic and commercial advancement
rely very much on personal relationships. It is the personal element that helps give people a rea-
son to care about what you have to say, and to help steer opportunities your way. Success comes
from opportunity, opportunity comes from relationships, and relationships come from involve-
ment. Being involved means interacting with people in many ways.
To be effective at managing the effectiveness of your songs (as well as your business and cre-
ative interactions) you need to know how people work. There are some clear principles which
determine how people prefer to give and receive information, and interact with their environ-
ment. My clients often ask me what kinds of books they should read or courses they should take
to be successful in the music business. My first answer is always “Psychology”.

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)

(Myers-Briggs Type-Indicator and MBTI are registered Trademarks of Consulting Psychologists
Press, Palo Alto, CA).
The principles about to be presented here are based on one of the most widely researched and
used preference-profiling tool in the world, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). In the
1940’s, against the backdrop of World War II, a mother and daughter, Isabel Briggs Myers and
Katharine Cook Briggs, sought to find a way to better understand human behavior. Using the
principles of psychologist Carl Jung, they developed a series of simple questions which illumi-
nate four dimensions of how people prefer to give and receive information, make decisions, and
interact with their environment – all core elements in the life of a singer/songwriter, as well as in
any other endeavor involving people.
The MBTI is now used around the world and has been translated into more than 30 languages. It
is widely used in many business, team-oriented, and collaborative situations. I first learned of it
in 1991, and it was a life-changing experience. I found it so valuable for working with artists and
songwriting that I became a fully qualified MBTI practitioner in 2000, trained by the Association
for Psychological Type.
The MBTI looks at a person’s preference in four different areas:

58
(a) What we pay attention to;
(b) How we make decisions;
(c) How we focus our energy;
(d) How we organize our lives.
We will look at these in detail in just a moment but first, what does preference mean in this case?
Given a choice between two ways of doing something, a person will have a natural preference
for doing it one of those ways over the other. These preferences are hard-wired as part of who we
are, although their degree to which they are expressed are often influenced by upbringing, values,
and situations. Having a preference for one choice over another does not mean that you cannot
do it the other way – certainly you can. It simply means that the non-preferred choice will not
feel as comfortable or flow as easily for you. It goes back to the very basic principle of people
not wanting to expend more effort than is needed. If you have a free choice between a way that
flows easily for you and a way that takes more effort, of course you lean toward the easier way.
However, when you’re in the business of trying to make connections with other people and try-
ing to get them on your wavelength, you always have to consider that what’s easiest for you
might not be easiest for them; And because of the blind date factors discussed previously, it is up
to you to make the adjustments to create a pleasant experience for the other persons involved.

EXERCISE: Remember the Feeling !

What does it feel like to work against your natural preferences? Do this simple exercise: Pretend
you’re signing a great record deal, and you can’t wait to get your signature on the contract. Take
a pen in your hand. count to three, and sign your name as quickly as you can. That was easy!
Now, do the same thing again, but first, put your pen in your other hand – your non-preferred
hand. Now count to three and sign the contract. If you’re like most people, that did not feel
nearly as comfortable as doing it the first time – nor is the result as legible. You probably felt
some internal discord and felt like you were having to work harder than necessary to do that task.
Remember that feeling! That feeling is your greatest friend. It will tell you when you are work-
ing against your natural preference, and most importantly, it will always remind you how others
feel when you make them work against their preferences to listen to your songs! Remember
that feeling!

WHAT ARE THE FOUR DIMENSIONS AND THE CHOICES FOR EACH?

For complete background on the MBTI and much more detailed explanations, read:
Please Understand Me (David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates, Prometheus Nemesis Books)
Type Talk (Otto Krueger and Janet M. Thuesen, Tilden Press)
Gifts Differing (Isabel Briggs Myers, Davies-Black Publishing)
These books are the source for the MBTI facts and figures given here and in subsequent chap-
ters.
The four dimensions, represented by letters, are:

59
How we focus our en- How we make our decisions:
ergy:

E= Extravert (75% of the T = Thinking (50% of males, 40% of females)

population)
I= Introvert (25% of the F = Feeling (50% of males, 60% of females)
population)

What we pay attention How flexibly we respond to new information

to and organize our lives
S= Sensor (70% of the J = Judging (50% of the population)
population)
N=intuitive (30% of the P = Perceiving (50% of the population)
population)
Thus, a person’s preference profile can be represented by four letters, one from each area. There
are sixteen combinations in all. This does not mean there are only sixteen types of people. Two
folks with the same four preferences can be very different if one person expresses some of them
very strongly, and another person doesn’t. Also affecting expression in different people are a per-
son’s individual upbringing, values, and experiences. People sometimes doubt the accuracy and
importance of these four areas, but as you read the brief descriptions below, think of how many
people you know, including yourself, who are reflected by them.
The Extravert/Introvert choice (E/I)
Extravert: - Outward focus; Speaks first, thinks after; Action oriented; Seeks social interaction
to re-energize self; At ease in crowds and social gatherings; Does not typically reflect inwardly;
Talks loudly; Deals with conflicts openly; Emphasizes breadth; Many broad acquaintances;
Introvert: - Inner focus; Thinks before speaking or acting; Social interaction is draining;
Recharges self by turning inward; May seem shy; Reflective, has an ‘inner voice’; Speaks softly;
Deals with conflict privately; Emphasizes depth; Fewer, deeper friendships;
The Sensor/Intuitive choice (S/N)

Sensor: - Pays attention to details; Focus on trees instead of forests; Deals with concrete, spe-
cific, down-to-earth things; Precise, “It’s 6:27pm”; Information coming through senses is taken
at face value; Language (lyrics) is literal; Follows instructions, recipes, formulas. Likes what’s
real. Lives in the present;
iNtuitive: - Pays attention to the big picture; Focus on forests instead of trees; Deals with ab-
stract ideas and concepts; Approximate, “It’s almost 6:30”; Information coming through senses is
associated with other information to make new ideas (What if…?); Language (lyrics) is figura-

60
tive; Creates own instructions, recipes, formulas; Likes what’s possible; Looks to the future;
The Thinker/Feeler choice (T/F)

Thinker: - Makes decisions based on logic; Evaluates things rationally; Objective; What’s just is
fair; Words and actions are measured; Must have good objective reason for doing something;
Rules and Laws before circumstances; “What do you think about this?”; Detached; Critiques
things;
Feeler: - Logic is optional; Evaluates things based on how people will feel; Subjective; What’s
humane is fair; Words and actions show emotion. Will do things if they create good or happy
feelings ; Circumstances before rules and laws; “How do you feel about this?”; Involved; Appre-
ciates things;
The Judger/Perceiver choice (J/P)

Judger: - Likes planning, and scheduling; Pending things must get resolved; Does things se-
quentially, one task at a time; Makes lists and sticks to them; Draws conclusions, makes deci-
sions, takes action based on available information; Harder to change direction once decided;
Needs order, bothered by things out of place; Things are filed in order; Accurate sense of time,
knows when an hour has gone by; Punctual; Stays focused;
Perceiver: - Likes spontaneity; Likes to leave things ‘open-ended’; Does many things at once,
bouncing between them; Makes lists and loses them or changes them; Delays drawing conclu-
sions, making decisions, or taking action because new information might change things; Can
change direction easily; Not bothered by disorder, or randomness; Things are piled, apparently
randomly; Elastic sense of time…Y“ou mean it’s that late already?;” Easily distracted;

Collaborating is Not Just for Writers

A Look at Preferences in the Art, Craft, and Business of Music

Think back on our discussion in Chapter 3 of Roles in the life of a song. All of those different
skill sets require different kids of perceptions, decisions, and orientations – essentially a variety
of personality preferences, which means that for some of the roles, if you fill them yourself, you
will have to be working against one or more of your preferences. (Remember the feeling of writ-
ing with your non-preferred hand). In your travels through the craft and business of music, you
will encounter people of all preference types in a variety of roles. Let’s take a look at how some
of these preference profiles fit or don’t fit the many hats that have to be worn to shepherd a song
through its development.
There is a great wealth of unheard, unrecorded songs sitting on writers’ shelves. Several may
have received publisher rejections because they did not look like gold or platinum. Perhaps they
were the more rare, less well-known precious metal iridium. If a record company is only on the
lookout for gold and platinum, it may take a different pair of eyes or a different awareness to rec-
ognize iridium.
Since the old days of tin-pan alley, the music business has undergone steady and significant

61
changes in character, accelerating noticeably since the 1970’s. It has become much more of an
environment where the types of notes being discussed have shifted from eighth notes to bank
notes. Accompanying this change is an often-voiced observation that there appears to be a
diminution of the creative force that once was the heart and soul of the early music industry.
Much of that creative experimentation has shifted to the world of Independent music, with distri-
bution facilitated by the Internet.
When viewed from a perspective of human preferences and social dynamics, this evolution is not
unexpected. The caution however, is that opposing preferences, must find balance and harmony
to insure the long term health of the industry, whether it be the old guard or the rising Indie tide.
The music business shares a fundamental characteristic with high-tech industries like electronics,
biotechnology, and novel pharmaceutical medicines i.e., these are industries driven by creativity
and inventiveness. Their end products are things that have never existed before, thus, the long-
term value of certain creations might not be immediately recognizable.
The Xerox machine, the quartz watch, and ‘sticky-notes’ adhesive were all initially dismissed as
not useful or too far afield from the way things “should” be done. At a seminar I attended, I
learned of the ironic case of the quartz watch. It was invented by the Swiss, who at the time had
80% of the market share in watches. After they dismissed the utility of the quartz watch (and
never bothered to patent the technology), it was picked up by Seiko and Texas Instruments, and
as quartz watches became the new standard, the Swiss market share plunged to 10%. Tens of
thousands of Swiss watchmakers lost their jobs. It required a different set of eyes to see that
quartz could shine as brightly as the jewels it replaced.
Creativity-driven industries must balance the unstructured, risk-taking environment that gener-
ates creativity and discovery with the structured, bottom-line focus that provides an industry with
positive cash flow. If these two opposing forces are out of balance, the industry becomes un-
healthy; or to say it metaphorically as I’ve heard it stated in corporate training sessions, “Cash
flow is like air to business, but life is about more than just breathing”.
In today’s world of the Independent artist, you are essentially the CEO of your own company.
The only difference between a self-contained Indie artist and a big record company is size and
budget. Thus, everything just said above about creativity-driven businesses also applies to you. It
is independent of scale.
Good songs have a continual interplay of tension and release to keep us interested. The unsettling
tritone of a seventh chord resolves to the comfort of the tonic chord. The dangling of a suspended
fourth puts us back on the ground by resolving to the third. Hearing a good rhyme relieves that
sense of anticipation as we wait for the ends of lyric lines to find their phonetic mates. In life,
some tension is good as it can give us a push to take action, but too much tension or too little res-
olution is counterproductive to creativity and to general well-being. Whether it’s an individual, a
small business, a large company, or a whole industry, too much unresolved tension will stifle
creativity and new initiatives.
The common denominator between songwriters, performers, publishers, lawyers, producers,
managers, studio engineers, record company executives, concert audiences, and record buyers is
that they are all people. However, they are people with distinct sets of preferences, perceptions,
styles of communication and modes of action which are frequently at odds with each other, and
thus cause tension. There are no ‘good guys’ or ‘bad guys’; No one is right, wrong, smarter, stu-

62
pider, better, or worse. Just different. Recognizing the strengths of those who are different, and
accepting the differences, are as essential to harmony as roots, thirds, and fifths.
People are very complex, but the four MBTI dimensions taken in their various combinations, ex-
plain a wide range of human interaction. These four aspects of our personality have profound ef-
fect on how we relate to other people and the world around us, both as a giver and receiver of
communications and actions. For people who communicate through songwriting and/or perform-
ing, who give or receive critique, and who interact with any of the business aspects of music,
these dimensions play a significant role.
Each of the four areas presents two alternatives, and people have a natural preference for being
on one side or the other. Many situations in life require acting in a manner opposite to our natural
preference The stronger the preference is for one style over the other, the more effort it takes to
act the other way, and sometimes it is just not possible, despite our best effort.
It should not be surprising that people at opposite ends of these continua may have a hard time
dealing with each other. Introverts may say Extraverts talk too much and don’t mind their own
business. Extraverts may say introverts are snobs, unsociable, paranoid or weird. Sensors may
say iNtuitives are impractical and have their head in the clouds. Intuitives may say Sensors are
hung up in trivia, boring, full of ‘small talk’ and have no vision; Feelers may say that Thinkers
are cold, distant, aloof and uncaring. Thinkers may say that Feelers are irrational, illogical, emo-
tional, inconsistent, and hopelessly try to please everybody. For Judgers and Perceivers, just
think of Oscar Madison and Felix Ungar, the “Odd Couple”, or trying to plan a trip when one
person needs to know in advance where they’re going, when, and how, and the other person just
wants spontaneity and new experiences.
When all four areas are taken together, a person’s preference profile can be represented by four
letters, one from each area. For each of the sixteen combinations of preferences, there is a quin-
tessential persona associated with it, as the four dimensions act together. Let’s look at some com-
binations which are of particular relevance to a business driven by creative and performing
artists:
An INTJ person is the quintessential scientist. A person of this type is typically self-confident, is
driven to know why things are, and lives to shape abstract ideas. This does not mean that an INTJ
will become a chemist or physicist or other typical scientific professional. An INTJ can be any-
thing…musician, screenwriter, businessman, or plumber; it just means that all aspects of his or
her pursuits will be approached scientifically, conceptually, and inventively. This is not a matter
of good, bad, right or wrong. It is simply how this kind of person is made inside.
The four alternate preferences yield an ESFP…a quintessential entertainer. An ESFP is always
‘on stage’, no matter what he or she is doing. Performing is as natural as breathing. The electrify-
ing performances of artists like Janis Joplin exude energy (E), are down-to-earth (S), and are
filled with feeling (F) and spontaneity (P). These people are just being themselves. Because these
folks frequently gravitate toward life in the fast-lane, we unfortunately often read about them in
the tabloids or the obituaries.
If an INTJ is to act like an ESFP or vice-verse, it requires a complete stretch of each of their pref-
erences (Remember the feeling!) The stronger the preference is, the more energy it takes to
switch to the other side for any period of time. Thus an INTJ acting like Janis Joplin is just not
going to happen very often. For an action-oriented ESFP to quietly ponder theories and methodi-

63
cally figure out why something is the way it is, is also unlikely.
If we interchange the first two and second two preferences, we get another quite different pair…
ESTJ and INFP. Ask yourself what key qualities make a successful business executive : interact-
ing with others; focus on practical, tangible issues; rational decision-making; and a preference
for order, scheduling, planning, and closure. It is no coincidence that 60% of business managers
are TJ’s, and that ESTJ’s are the quintessential “administrators of life” (e.g., Harry Truman). In
fact, there have been more ESTJ Presidents than any other type, and ESTJ is the most prevalent
of the 16 types (about 38%), thus heavily influencing our societal definitions of “normal” or “so-
cially acceptable”.
In contrast to the ESTJ business manager is the INFP, who represents the quintessential idealist.
Many of the songwriter clients I work with are INFP. These folks, like Joan of Arc, are always
committed to a noble cause, and to performing noble service to aid society. A hallmark of the
INFP is to reflect endlessly on the all-important question “Who am I”? (e.g., Am I an artist?, Am
I a writer? Am I a parent? Am I a lover? Am I a good person? I am all of these, but what does
that mean? Who am I?) INFP songwriters are very sensitive to critique.
Thus, ESFP entertainers and ESTJ managers make a good collaboration. The ES qualities allow
for easy communication, and the SP/TJ differences each apply strengths to the areas where they
are most effective and compensate for each other.
The lifeblood of the music business is a great song. It takes parts of all eight qualities to make a
great song.
Introverted orientation provides the internal reflection that allows ideas to form and a
song to be born.
Extraverted orientation provides the drive to share that song with others and to want oth-
ers to relate to it.
Sensing function provides information about life that gives us concrete, relatable situa-
tions for songs. It provides the sensory-oriented detail and imagery that makes a lyric real
for a listener. Sensing provides the specifics of who, what, where, and when for a song.
iNtuition function provides the creative association for presenting a topic in a new and
fresh way, for giving a lyric depth of meaning, and for providing a coherent overarching
metaphor. Intuition provides the conceptual “aboutness” for a song (love, loneliness, rejec-
tion, happiness, injustice, infidelity, nostalgia, etc.) and the motivations of the characters.
Feeling function provides the emotional element that enables a song and a listener to con-
nect
Thinking function provides the analysis and crafting needed to give the song polish and
impact.
Judging orientation provides the desire for structure and order in the song, consistency of
rhyme and cadence, and the drive to want to get the song “done”.
Perceiving orientation provides the openness to new input and the ability to change and
rewrite as better words, phrases, and melodic ideas come along.

64
In my interviews and discussions with many successful songwriters about their creative process,
they talk about these qualities all being in play, sometimes fighting with each other for domi-
nance. But take away any one quality, and an intangible “something” is missing. Can one person
do all eight things effectively? This is extremely rare, and explains why the self-contained good
singer-songwriter is not a common commodity. It often requires collaboration to get all of those
eight elements. Not all of Bartholomew’s hats are going to fit comfortably on one head.

The Product Pipeline of the Music Industry Starts in the “IN” Mode.
Lyrics start with ideas and inspirations and use words, which are really abstract symbols for
things. This is the “IN” mode of thought, as introversion and intuition are the source of new con-
cepts and the world of symbolic abstraction. Even when two Extraverts are brainstorming aloud,
that moment of “aha!” occurs when for a split second, an individual reaches inside himself or
herself to make a new association of ideas. Sheila Davis’ work with songwriters and the four
preferences shows us that the use of metaphor, irony, puns, and wordplay in lyrics comes from
the ‘N’ mode of thinking.
Universal themes and overarching metaphors are Intuitive. Fantasy and new ways of expressing
things are iNtuitive trademarks. Add the quality of introversion, and you now have the process
that gives rise to new ideas, creative associations, and a love of solving puzzles and problems
(e.g., fitting lyrics to meter). Great inventions, discoveries, philosophies and song ideas come
from the Introverted iNtuitive mode of thought (Albert Einstein was an INTP). Remember that
anyone, even an ES Extravert-Sensor can tap into the IN mode, but it takes more effort (Remem-
ber the Feeling!) That’s why many ESFP’s are great performer’s but not necessarily great writ-
ers, while the opposite INTJ’s can be great creators, though not necessarily dynamic entertainers.
Thus, the folks who most easily can write from the IN perspective are, as you’d expect, the nat-
ural IN’s…but there aren’t that many of them, (about 4% of the population)—and introverts are
at a clear disadvantage in the business areas of music. They may have incredibly creative, mov-
ing, and well-crafted lyrics piled up on their shelves which will never be heard outside the cur-
tain of their shower stall. The challenge for IN writers is to take their great ideas and put them in
concrete, down-to-earth terms that the majority of others can relate to. With 70% of typical lis-
teners preferring Sensory communication, they need to hear ideas presented in terms of concrete
things. That is why country music lyrics have such broad appeal.

Is the “IN” Crowd the Out Crowd?

When we recall the fact that Extraverts outnumber Introverts by 3 to 1 and Sensors outnumber
iNtuitives by more than 2 to 1, it doesn’t take much math to see that more than 90% of the world
are Extraverts and Sensors…lots of managers (ESTJ), and lots of entertainers (ESFP). The Intro-
verted Intuitives are quite a minority, with INTJ’s, INFP’s, INTP’s and INFJ’s each accounting
for around 1-2% of the population. They are rare, and not well understood (because of the intro-
version, what is shown to the world is not the most revealing view of the person). Thus, Intro-
verted iNtuitives are often frustrating and annoying to the Extraverted-Sensors who are generally
running the show.

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The music business is very much an ES world. Contacts are made by schmoozing and “being
there”. This not easy for an introvert who might prefer to communicate by e-mail. Even some-
thing as simple as talking on the phone may not be trivial for an introvert. INtuitives have a
harder time attending to details and are more concerned with content than with form… they will
ask “If a song is a great song, why does it have to be presented in a fancy envelope with fancy
stationery and labels in order to get heard, when none of those things have anything to do with
the song itself?” The answer of course, is that in an ES world, visual sensory input counts. The
“look” is as important to an act as the sound (some would say more important). To an ESTJ ex-
ecutive, a song submitted in a sloppy envelope means that the writer doesn’t care about their
product, so why should the executive bother with it?
The more likely truth is that the writer, if an IN, cares very deeply about the content of their
song, and knows that the package doesn’t affect it. What IN’s need to be gently taught, instead of
criticized for, is that since their package is probably being received by a Sensory-oriented person,
putting it in a nice package and having a clean sounding demo shows consideration for the per-
son who’s receiving the package. That approach addresses the preferences of S, N, T and F peo-
ple.
We know that songs can be enhanced by collaboration. S and N writers can each contribute their
strengths to compensate for the other’s blind spots. The E and J qualities of a good man-
ager/agent can compensate for the I and P qualities of a talented writer or artist, resulting in good
creative product and good business practice.
The STP recording engineer, generally at home with electronics, can make a great demo for the
NF artist who might have an aversion to all the electronics and techno-babble. But each must ac-
cept the other’s strengths and differences to work together.
All people can learn from and benefit from the perspectives of opposite types. The example of
the Swiss watches given earlier in this chapter shows a blind spot in the SJ mode of operation.
Not enough focus on the ‘big picture’, and resistance to try something new. An NP perspective
might have saved the jobs of all those Swiss watchmakers. Introverts need Extraverts to draw out
the ideas, the thoughts, and the creative gems that are hiding within. Would the Declaration of
Independence have been written if the introverted Thomas Jefferson didn’t have the obnoxiously
Extraverted John Adams to badger him to write it?
Consider the good that could come from collaboration between ESTJ business managers of the
music industry, ESFP entertainers, and the “IN” crowd of writers (INTJ/INTP/INFJ/INFP) who
are a tremendous source of new approaches and new twists on timeless themes, and the “SJ”
writers who can see vivid details of everyday human existence and turn them into striking con-
crete images. These are the people who together can be writing tomorrow’s quartz watches and
Xerox machines, which instead of gold and platinum songs, can be the even more valuable irid-
ium. But they will get nowhere without the encouragement and solid footing of the ESTJ admin-
istrators.
In subsequent chapters, we will discuss how preferences affect the way a lyric is written and re-
ceived, how characters in songs inherently have a preference profile, and how these things trans-
late to mass appeal (or lack thereof).

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 Chapter 7: COURTING APPEAL - The Secret of Ullage
“It’s better to be known by six people for something
you’re proud of than to be known by sixty million
for something you’re not.” – actor Albert Brooks
“Fame is fleeting. Obscurity is forever” – Napoleon
“If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write things worth reading, or do
things worth writing.” -Benjamin Franklin
“Our goal is to make the perfect song – which of course will never happen.” -Chris Martin,
lead singer, Coldplay

In our 4-Fader paradigm, faders # 3 and 4 deal with the parameter of appeal. Recall that a “hit” is
commonly defined as a song with wide appeal. That does not necessarily mean it’s a well-crafted
song, or an effective song. If you take away all those reasons that are not part of the song itself,
then you start to find a greater relationship between well written, effective songs, and mass ap-
peal.
It is essentially impossible to write a song that absolutely everyone will like—but it is equally
impossible to write a song that no one will like – even if you try your best to make it absolutely
awful, someone somewhere is going find a reason to like it. This too is a double-edged sword.
It’s great to know that you can always find at least one person outside of your inner circle who
will like what you’ve created. However, this can create a sense of complacency and make one
feel satisfied settling for an Olympic “3”, a “5”, a “7” instead of striving for that “10”
Think carefully here about the link between your definition of “success” and the appeal of your
song. If you know you are writing a specialty song that only a narrow demographic will appreci-
ate (niche market) then a hundred pats on the back may mean success for you. You’ve con-
sciously chosen to set Fader #3, Breadth of Appeal, at a lower level, hoping to achieve a higher
level of Depth of Appeal, as more people in the defined niche are likely to appreciate the song.
But if you’re going for truly wide-ranging appeal, across the general population, then a hundred
affirmations doesn’t even get you on the radar.
From a commercial perspective, aside from artist appeal or marketing strategies, songs find suc-
cess because of their mood/groove, or for the impact of their story or message. Either element
alone can generate broad appeal. Songs that sit in between, which have no distinct musical or
emotive identity and which do not have a clear and cinematic lyric, are the ones that are going to
need some re-thinking.
Also, remembering the principle that listeners do not want to work any harder than necessary to
invest themselves in a song, a song that is ‘listener-friendly’ i.e., that makes it easy for a listener
to understand, follow, and remember, is going to have the edge when it comes to mass appeal.

How Would You Like to Have Another 10,000 Fans?

A Little Goes a Long Way: The Power of Big Numbers and Small Increments
When you write songs that others want to hear, you create negotiating power for yourself. If

67
you’ve written a hundred songs that no one cares to listen to, you are still a songwriter, but you
have added no value to your business side of the equation. Advertising rates for TV shows are
based on the number of viewers (usually determined by Neilson ratings or similar polling). Small
changes in percentages either way translate to significant advertising dollars. Newspaper ad rates
are based on circulation – the number of eyes reading the paper. Website ad revenue is based on
number of clicks. Again, small changes translate to significant revenue.
The principle is no different with songs. The greater the number of people who want to hear your
song, the more leverage you gain as a songwriter to get whatever it is that most matters to you.
Small differences in percentages either way can mean big numbers in terms of listeners and fans.
Thus it simply makes sense to always try for the biggest numbers, every time, with every song,
while still maintaining the artistic values that are important to you. No one will succeed in writ-
ing a hit every time. Like an Olympian, you’ll fall short of perfection more often than not, but by
going for the gold with each attempt, you will ultimately maximize your successes.
One great song does not make you a consistent hit writer. It is certainly possible to live off the
royalties from one song if it becomes a worldwide standard, but do you want be like Don Larsen,
our below-average pitcher in Chapter 1 who had one moment of brilliance, or do you want to be
regarded like Babe Ruth, Muhammad Ali, Michael Jordan, or Michael Phelps, who are widely
associated with greatness in their respective fields. That of course always remains your choice.
Leverage and negotiating power does not come instantly with your first great song – it is built up
over time, one song at a time. The most valuable asset you can have is a proven track record for
being able to consistently write good songs, rather than just happen to have one gem amidst an
otherwise unremarkable catalog. All the names that are typically mentioned when discussing
‘great’ songwriters are folks who have shown the ability to apply a consistently high level of
craftsmanship. Their names did not immediately enter that elite circle with their first hit, nor are
there any one-hit writers who are generally considered ‘great’ songwriters.

Look at the Ullage

I learned a new word today: “Ullage” – the difference between what a container holds and what
it could potentially hold. I found this immediately applicable to the concept of maximizing your
appeal by focusing on the difference between how many people like your song and how many
could potentially like your song. It’s an effective way to avoid complacency.
If your song is played for an audience of 100, and after the show, 60 or 70 people crowd around
you, and tell you how much they enjoyed it and that they plan to download your track, it’s nat-
ural to bask in that success and never ask the question: “Why did 30-40% of the people who
heard my song not like it enough to say anything or buy it, and is there something I could have
done to change their opinion?
At a critique session, twenty people comment on your song. Eighteen of them like it and two say
there is something that bothers them about a particular line (that’s different than a song simply
not appealing to a person’s stylistic taste). It’s easy to dismiss the two as simply not worth trying
to please, because you have such a huge positive reaction. Those two represent 10% of the listen-
ers. If your song is then played on a radio station which reaches 100,000 listeners, that 10% now
becomes 10,000 fans, not just two. And the revenue that could mean for you is not trivial. (Recall

68
the role of Sounding Board from Chapter 3 – that is why it is such an invaluable role).
Obviously you don’t want to try to please everyone, because that’s not possible, but the point is
this: By at least asking the question “Is there something I could do that would convert even a
small percentage of listeners into fans?”, you are opening up new possibilities. Maybe there
won’t be anything you can do in a particular song to broaden its appeal, but the question should
always be asked. If it’s just a matter of taste, then there’s not much you can do. However, when a
person’s comments are about some specific element of the song, they can often be addressed, and
perhaps expand your fan base.
You’d be surprised how often a small, simple adjustment can make a difference – and one or two
converts in a room of 100 becomes thousands in a city of a hundred thousand. Always thinkper-
cent, not absolute numbers. You may have 10,000 fans in a region of 100,000 listeners, but that
means 90% of the listeners are not your fans – that’s huge potential for additional supporters if
you’re willing to try to reach out to them.
Your fan base grows only when you reach out topeople who previously were not your
fans.
Here are some examples: At a critique session in 1990, while still in the process of putting in my
10,000 hours of practice, I brought this song for input
Late Night Bus Words and Music by Bill Pere
(Original Pre-Sounding Board version)

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The critiques came – nine comments, and seven of them were highly positive. Enough to make
any songwriter feel good. Then a small but mighty voice from the corner chimed in that although
she liked the story, she was bothered by the phrase “now it’s two inches later”. And a second
person then agreed, and added that she didn’t like the words “languish” and “anguish”, as they
were not pleasant sounding, despite the rhyme. Now I could easily have dismissed those two
comments in the face of seven other positive ones, however, the ullage of the situation, (2 out of
9) was 22%. Was there something I could do to address the discomfort of those persons (and all
others like them), while still keeping the song intact? I knew these two folks had a strong “S”
preference and looked at words literally and thus, there are many others like them (see Chapter
6). That phrase “Now it’s two inches later” does require an intuitive leap, converting time to
snow accumulation, so I could understand why it bothered them, and I should have caught that
myself when crafting the song, but since I am an extreme iNtuitive, it was easy to overlook—
that’s what the Sounding Board role is for.
Rather than dismiss the comment, I gave it some thought and made a revision, which was defi-
nitely an improvement (see below). As for the “languish/anguish” comment, this was a matter of
Klang association (see Chapters 15 and 21) and again, some thought and a minor adjustment
yielded a vastly improved third verse. Thus, no change was required to the song structure or
story – just some word changes, and this could potentially increase the appeal by 22%. Definitely
a good deal and worth the effort. Here is the revised version, which upon re-submission to cri-
tique, fared much better with those who had problems the first time, converting them from critics
to supporters.

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Late Night Bus Words and Music by Bill Pere
(Revised Post-Sounding Board version)

Another example: A good friend of mine and phenomenal songwriter with multiple national
awards, Les Julian, wrote a love song with the hook line “I love you forever for now”. In cri-
tique, although the song had many great elements, there was something about that line which
bothered several listeners. Looking at its meaning, the words “for now” suggest a temporary state
that is going to change , i.e., a love of convenience rather than commitment. Les bounced the
song off the great producer and songwriter Paul Leka (it’s great to have access to Sounding
Boards like that) who immediately saw the problem and offered a simple suggestion: Change it
to “I love you forever right now.” That small change makes a huge difference in the sentiment
conveyed. The emotion is brought into the current moment (“right now”) and is a strong state-
ment of commitment and duration (“I will love you forever, and I feel that way right here right
now”). Upon resubmission for critique, the overall response was significantly more positive.
One more example: In my early songwriting days before I knew about semantic fields and mixed
metaphors, I brought this song for critique:
Tatterdemalion—words and music by Bill Pere (post-Sounding Board version)
She sat and sewed the sails that swept him out to sea
She wove a dream that was never meant to be
She loved the captain, the captain loved his ship

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Her arms were just a place to rest between each trip
As her needle sailed the waves of canvas cloth, she’d often dream
Of a wedding dress of fine embroidered lace
An ocean windstorm dashed her dream,
For as the crippled ship came home
Her captain’s bunk was just an empty space…
In the tavern you’ll still hear them tell the tale
Of the ship that met the talons of the ocean’s autumn gale
How the ropes and masts came tumblin’ down
How that ship still wears those battered sails like a tatterdemalion gown…
Each night she’d walk the waterfront, she’d stand awhile and stare
At that ship’s shell floating out beyond the pier
The needle-pointed starlit sky shone on shredded sails
She’d dream about her wedding dress and shed a tear
Friends told her not to cling to threads of a love whose time was past
And to forget the maelstrom in her mind
She said she could sew so many things but she could not mend her heart
Though the tapestry is faded, it once hung rich and fine…
In the tavern you’ll still hear them tell the tale
Of the ship that met the talons of the ocean’s autumn gale
How the ropes and masts came tumblin’ down
How that ship still wears those battered sails like a tatterdemalion gown…
One restless night she took a boat out to that wreck beyond the pier
She snatched a shred of sailcloth from a broken mast
The townsfolk searched for many days, but it seemed she disappeared
No one was quite sure who saw her last
But in the ocean’s mist of memories and tears of yesterday’s rain
If you look real close and maybe take a guess
Amidst the rippling remnants of the sails, wrapped ‘round the mast
Is what seems to be a fine embroidered dress…
In the tavern you’ll still hear them tell the tale
Of the ship that met the talons of the ocean’s autumn gale
How the ropes and masts came tumblin’ down
How that ship still wears those battered sails like a tatterdemalion gown…
In the version I presented for critique, the song was the same as above except the last line of
verse 2 was “Though the bottle is now shattered, it once held vintage wine….” Overall, the re-
sponses were highly positive except for one voice which pointed out that amidst all the refer-
ences to cloth, fabric and sewing, the image of the bottle and wine was out of place.
Again, it would have been easy to dismiss one negative comment amidst a sea of positives, but
she was absolutely right. The bottle/wine image was a mixed metaphor, outside the established
semantic field of sewing and cloth. So a bit of thought and a small adjustment yielded the line
you see above (“Though the tapestry is faded, it once hung rich and fine”), which maintains the
original rhyme, and now fits into the semantic field. Overall, a major improvement to the song

72
without a major re-write.
I’ve seen hundreds of similar examples of a small change making a significant difference in the
overall appeal of a song, across many different styles. The key is to be willing to look at the ul-
lage (the percentage of those who are not relating to the song) and rather than dismissing them,
ask yourself if there is some reasonable and artistically acceptable adjustment you can make that
would broaden the appeal of the song. As always, the choices and final decisions are yours.

Quality and Mass Appeal

Something which has inherent quality always has the potential to have mass appeal, but two
other factors are required:
1 – It must be put in front of a large number of people
2 – When in front of a person, it must penetrate that person’s awareness
Only then can elements of effectiveness and craftsmanship begin to take hold. The greatest music
in the world will be “liked” by no one if it only sits on the creator’s shelf OR if it is in a plain
brown wrapper that never grabs attention.
Conversely, if you take something with little substance, put it in a very attention-getting package,
and use a large amount of money to get it in front of a wide audience, it will evoke comment and
curiosity for awhile, and appear to be popular, but in the absence of quality and substance it is
not likely to endure. One of your fundamental choices is whether you are trying to create fleeting
popularity, or a long-term legacy.
Today’s world is an attention-driven economy – you’re constantly competing for people’s atten-
tion. There are many things you can do to GET attention, but quality HOLDS attention over
time.
An area of particular importance where you need to have your Eyes Wide Open is not confusing
the performance with the song. Performance (like production) is certainly an art form with its
own parameters (stagecraft for live performance, studiocraft for recording) but it is not song-
writing. I meet many young artists and bands who are truly talented performers and write their
own material. They can get on a stage and hold an audience spellbound – however, they do them-
selves a great disservice by believing that the audience is appreciating their songs (songcraft) as
opposed to their performance (stagecraft).
Take attractive men and women, flaunting that attractiveness, coupled with real vocal and instru-
mental talent, and a high-energy visual display—it certainly gets attention and is appreciated for
all those elements. But, take away the visual aspect of a live stage or of YouTube, and all that re-
mains is the song and the listener’s ears. Will the song stand up to a stranger’s ears devoid of all
the visual support and live energy? Would a stranger want to listen to a whole CD of this? Would
another artist want to cover the song? The performance is the delivery mechanism, a flamboyant
package for the song. It can get the initial attention, but the song must have intrinsic quality to
stand on its own.
An important and often difficult choice an artist or band must make is finding the line between
the attention-grabbing elements of their package, and the degree to which those elements can di-

73
vert attention away from the real substance, the songs. Unless the artist makes the EWO choice
to be a great performer of not-so-great material.

Songs About “Me”

and who I am, songs about loving and living , and good hearted women and family and God,
yeah they’re all just songs about me (written by Ed Hill and Shaye Smith, recorded by Trace Ad-
kins)
Ian Rogers of Yahoo Media, at his address to the Creative Artists Agency Conference in Aspen
CO, 2007, talked about how it ‘s important not to confuse quality with relevance. He said “Peo-
ple choose to listen to something [or watch it or attend it] because they consider it relevant in
their world”
The key point for songwriters is that the “me” here refers to the listeners, not the writer or per-
former. Certainly you want to write and sing about what is meaningful to you, but if you have
your Eyes Wide Open and think of the Stranger Test, you’ll know that no one else particularly
cares what matters to you any more than you care about what matters to strangers. People care
about what matters to them. Your job as a songwriter is to take what matters to you and deliver it
in a way that also makes it relevant to a broad spectrum of listeners. This does not mean allowing
everyone to come away with their own interpretation of your meaning, i.e. their own personal
truth—to do that would mean you’ve connected with no one. Your goal is to enable listeners to
come away with a personalized version of your truth. Personalized enough to make it relevant to
them, and enough of your intended message so that you’ve connected and communicated.
So many writers pour their personal lives, and their honest emotions into their songs, but never
ask the central questions: Why should a stranger care about this? Does this outpouring of my
emotion give a stranger a reason to invest time, effort and money into it? The essence of the craft
is to create the setting, the motivations, the situation and the supporting characters, then exit the
song and allow space for the listener to put themselves into it—no so much so that they can re-
shape your reality to suit their own, but with enough flexibility for them to personalize it.
To look at it differently, if you move out of your childhood home to live on your own, and your
parents rent the room to someone else, the tenant can personalize the room, but they can’t alter
the house, it’s location, the time, or the people there. If you watch a movie and find yourself re-
lating to a character or to the story, you can think of how it’s relevant to the specifics of your life,
but you can’t change the script. Marvin Lee Aday, who you probably know better as Meatloaf, is
one of the best-selling songwriters/performers of all time. He states “I never intend for you to see
me in a song; my intention is get yourself inside the song. Like going to the movies or watching
a play, I just exit and you see yourself. (interview in “The Stage”, Fall 1999, p 17).
This important balance between having yourself in the song while allowing space for the listener
will be discussed further in Chapter 8 “The Meaning of Meaning”.

“It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times” – Charles Dickens
One final EWO aspect in our discussion mass appeal:

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Would you like to be widely known and have a fanatical cult following? Would you like to re-
ceive a distinguished award for your creative work? Would you like a serious movie to be made
about your life as an artist? You probably answered yes, yes, and yes. Now, the important ques-
tion: Would you still like it if you had those things because you were regarded as the worst
singer-songwriter of all-time?
When it comes to art, there is rarely agreement on what is “best or worst” of anything. However,
ask hundreds of movie fans what the worst movie of all time is, and you get surprisingly wide
agreement on the Ed Woods film “Plan 9 From Outer Space”. Ed Woods, described in
Wikipedia as having “evident zeal and honest love of movie production”, was posthumously
given the Golden Turkey Award as Worst Director of All Time. I admit, I have “Plan 9 From
Outer Space” in my collection, and yes, it is awful even by Grade-B 1950’s Sci-Fi standards.
But Ed Woods’ love for his art and lack of conventional filmmaking ability has made him well
known, and has even spawned a big-budget biographical movie, directed by Tim Burton and
starring Johnny Depp, which won two Academy Awards. “Plan 9 From Outer Space” is a per-
fect example of creative output which is popular, but not well-crafted and not effective (Ed
Woods did not intend for it to be regarded as the worst film of all time).
Thus, appeal can come not only from exceptional quality, it can also come from an exceptional
and unintended lack of quality. (This is the whole premise of the hit musical “The Producers”).
Just think of the people shown auditioning for programs like “American Idol” and “America’s
Got Talent”, who have lots of confidence and painfully little talent. They have no chance of win-
ning, but are shown on national TV to help make for memorable and (unfortunately) entertaining
watching.
Amidst my collection of exceptionally bad music, I have two volumes called “Golden Throats.”
These are recording made by celebrities which were intended to be serious, but are – and there’s
no other way to say it – just plain bad. William Shatner’s “Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds” or
Jack (“just the facts m’am”) Webb’s “Try a Little Tenderness” are musical Plan 9’s from way
out there And even Bing Crosby gets into the act trying to present “Hey Jude” in his “White
Christmas” style. “NaNa Na Na” does not translate well to “PumPum Pum Pum”. Yet these
Golden Throat recordings are popular sellers.
A popular radio show hosted by Jim Nayder is “The Annoying Music Show”. One of the classics
on the compilation CD is a song called “My Bathroom”, extolling the virtues of one’s bathroom
(not kidding folks…). This song, sung with great sincerity and emotion, accompanied by lush or-
chestration (that’s lush, not flush), was commissioned by the American Standard Company, a
manufacturer of bathroom fixtures and plumbing supplies, and was meant to be taken seriously
as positive promotion. What were they thinking?
Songs which receive attention for their lack of quality should not be confused with novelty songs
and parodies (e.g., Weird Al, Bob Rivers, and the Dr. Demento collections), most of which are
exceptionally well-crafted and specifically intended to be novelty songs. It takes all the elements
of songcrafting to make a great parody or humorous song, just the same as if one were writing a
serious ballad. For example, Bob Rivers’ “Middle Age Waistline” is an absolutely brilliant par-
ody of the Who’s “Teen Age Wasteland (Baba O’ Riley)”. Just look at the lyrics of the two side
by side and see how closely the parody parallels the sounds and key words of the original (See
the discussion of External Rhyming in Chapter 22). Weird Al Yankovik is well known and popu-

75
lar because his parodies are well-crafted. He just chooses to use the tools of humor as opposed to
the more serious emotions of most music styles. Craft and quality are independent of genre or
style.

A Four-Fader Song

The remainder of this book deals in detail with the many aspects of the craft of songwriting,
Fader #2 in our 4-Fader model. Before we dive in, you might have thought of the question, what
would a 4-Fader song look like? –- One which has the desired effect on listeners, is well-crafted,
and has wide breadth and depth of appeal?
It was a Fall morning and as I was waking up, a song came on the radio that I had not heard be-
fore. Within the first two lines, I was listening intently. When it was over, I knew I had heard a
4-Fader song. In typical fashion, the radio did not announce the title of the song or the artist, but
from the chorus, I knew exactly what to search for online. The song was “Moments” written by
Annie and Sam Tate and Dave Berg, performed by the Canadian band Emerson Drive.
SESAC’s 2005 Songwriters of the Year Annie Tate and her husband Sam, were working with
their writing partner Dave Berg to create a song about people having their moments in the sun.
Sam, in the role of the idea-generator, suggested focusing the song around a homeless man. In an
interview in Country Weekly magazine, Sam stated “I’ve always wanted to write a song about
redemption and how everyone has the ability to redeem themselves somehow”. (Horner, Alan,
July 16, “Story Behind the Song”, Country Weekly 14: 64)
Here is how the song hits all four faders for this listener:

Fader # 1—Effectiveness: It hit the three levels of listener response i.e.,

I felt: the emotional impact of the song was unavoidable.

I thought: the song brought into my mind the issue of homelessness,
which is always an important topic in my life (visit www.lunchensemble.
com)
I acted: I stopped what I was doing, and gave my full attention to the
song (I was glad to be on this blind date). I immediately went to the in-
ternet to research it. I purchased it. I wrote about it here. I use it in my
teaching.
If you read the volumes of online comments about the song from ordinary listeners, it is evident
that my reactions were not unlike those of many other folks. This is clearly an effective song on
all three levels, i.e. feeling, thinking, acting. Everyone who posted online comments was, at min-
imum, moved to take the action of posting a comment.
Fader # 2—Craft: If you are not familiar with the song, look up the lyrics on the Internet. This
song clearly addresses most of the parameters in the “Anatomy of a Song”. Wrapped in standard

76
form with accessible music, the lyrics convey a tremendous amount of specific information (The
Six W’s) and detail throughout the song, with the first verse clearly establishing a sense of place,
people, timeframe, situation and motivation. The structure is a standard ABABCB, with a mor-
phing chorus leading to an ironic turnaround. The events of the story and insights to the charac-
ters are shown rather than told. Overall, the song stands up to our checklist of tests (See Appen-
dix). The many online comments from ordinary folks reflect an appreciation of the storytelling,
the detail, the clarity, and the cinema. People “get it” thus, it communicates.
Faders #3 & 4—Breadth and Depth of Appeal: The fact that this was a #1 Country hit shows
the breadth and depth of the appeal of the song. The online forum comments show a range across
age, gender and life situations which suggests that the appeal of this song runs broad and deep. A
wide cross-section of people clearly perceive the song as being ‘relevant’ to some aspect of their
own world.
And of course the central question of this entire discussion is: Would you want it to be
your songs which have this degree of impact on that many people? Would you want it
to be your songs which people discuss with such respect, admiration, and passion?
For some other songs with this kind of impact, I did a brief poll of about 100 people, and these
are some of the top responses I got (no particular order): Harder Cards (Craig Wiseman/Michael
Henderson); Concrete Angel (Rob Crosby and Stephanie Bentley); Independence Day (Gretchen
Peters); Higher Than She’s Ever Been Before (Jim Morgan and Dave Sacks); We Can’t Make it
Here (James McMurtry); Christmas in the Trenches (John McCutcheon); The Good Stuff (Jim
Collins and Craig Wiseman); Bless the Broken Road (M. Hummon, B. Boyd, and J. Hann); By
the Time I Get to Phoenix (Jimmy Webb); Me and Emily (Rachel Proctor); Mercenaries (Harry
Chapin); and Sniper (Harry Chapin). There are many great 4-Fader songs out there, and if you’d
like to add your picks to the list, visit our website at www.songcrafterscoloringbook.com where
we have an ongoing “Four-Fader” list.

For What it’s Worth (Stop, Hey, What’s that Sound? Cha-Ching!)

So with all this discussion about writing great songs that endure over time, what exactly might a
standard be worth? Many years ago, I had the privilege of speaking with Jimmie Crane, a Rhode
Island songwriter. Jimmie was a very successful in the 1940’s - 70’s and wrote many standards.
Primarily a composer, Jimmie would usually work with lyricist Al Jacobs. In 1954 he wrote
Doris Day’s #1 hit, “If I Give My Heart to You”, which had four other versions by four different
artists in the top 30 in that one year. Five years later it was recorded again by Kitty Kallen and
again charted.
Also in 1954, they wrote the song “Hurt” (title inspired by Jimmie’s comment about his
toothache). A Roy Hamilton rendition went to #7 that year, followed by a Timi Yuro 1961 ver-
sion which topped the charts, then a 1966 recording by Little Anthony and the Imperials, and an
Italian version, which sold a million copies. Then, 1975 saw another incarnation by the Manhat-
tans, and in 1976, Elvis recorded it at Graceland for another million copy sales. And it’s still get-
ting international airplay. That’s a standard, enduring the trends and changes of half a century,
and still returning royalties.

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If you’ve ever wondered what a catalog of standards is worth, Jimmie was kind enough to share
some royalty figures. The performing rights organizations (in the U.S., it’s ASCAP, BMI,
SESAC) monitor airplay and remit royalties to writers and publishers. Recall that writers only
see half (publishers get the other half), and if there is more than one writer, it’s split again. Jim-
mie’s April distribution check that year from ASCAP, representing about one fourth of the royal-
ties collected in a 3-month period (half going to the publisher and a fourth going to Jimmie’s co-
writer) was well in excess of $20,000.—and that’s more than fifty years into the life of the songs
Think of what those songs must have generated over the entire course of those decades, with all
their climbs up the charts. In today’s world of the Indie singer-songwriter, if you retain your pub-
lishing share and write both music and lyrics—- you see the potential.
The important message here is this: That 50-year flow of income was earned without the
writer having to do anything else! He could sit on the beach all day, or doodle in the studio or go
to ball games or spend time with his family – and the royalties are still earned and collected.
Any successful business person will tell you that the true secret of commercial success is being
able to make money without having to be physically present. If you depend on live performance,
you can only be earning money in one place at one time, while you are healthy. If you are the
writer (and/or the publisher) you earn money whenever your song is performed by anyone,
played on the air anytime, or purchased anywhere in the world. That is the unsurpassed advan-
tage of writing and owning the publishing for great songs that appeal to multiple artists to per-
form, and multiple types of listeners to purchase.
If you are an Independent artist under contract to no one, you are the complete owner of all the
rights (and royalties) to your songs—strive to make them great songs and you’ll rise above the
crowd.

THE FUNDAMENTAL CHOICE:

With all that under our belt, we’re now ready to move on to SECTION II, the nuts and bolts of
the tools available to you, and when and how to use them to achieve the results you want for
your songs. In essence, we are going to look at the fundamental choice. Most writers want to
connect with as many people as possible. Most writers want to create the best songs possible.
Most writers want to exercise the greatest possible freedom in what they create. Those three
things create the following dynamic:

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Here “structure” refers not to just verse/chorus/bridge (the macrostructure), but the fine points
(microstructure) such as semantic elements, sonic elements, prosodic elements, and consistency
of their use and placement. Harvard mathematician George David Birkhoff spent years studying
the perceived aesthetics of music as it relates to symmetrical structure. In 1933 he published the
Theory of Aesthetic Measure, which essentially says that greater levels of structure and symme-
try cause a work of art to be perceived more favorably. (“The Equation That Couldn’t Be
Solved”, by Mario Livio, 2005, Simon and Schuster, ISBN: 9780743258210)
Every writer has to determine their own balance between structure, convenience for the writer,
and convenience for the listener, measured against their own goals and definition of success. In
order to make that choice with Eyes-Wide-Open, you need to know what options you have, and
the expected result of each choice. Welcome to Section II.

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 SECTION II: Your Songcrafting Crayons and How to Use
Them

INTRODUCTION
We’ve talked about a song’s effectiveness, appeal, and the importance of craft. Now we’ll get
down to the How-To’s of the many elements of songcrafting. The parameters of a song fall into
three broad categories: Whole-Song Parameters, Music Parameters, and Lyric Parameters.
Whole-Song Parameters include things like

Focus (what the song is “about”)

Marriage (the stylistic and emotional interaction of music and lyrics)
Phrasing (how phrases sits in or across measures)
Form (verse/chorus/bridge relationships)
Format (list song or story-song)
Tone (humorous. sad, happy, angry, nostalgic, etc)
Within the Music parameters, the primary five are

Melody (musical distance between successive pitches)

Harmony (musical distance between pitches at the same point in time)
Rhythm (the division of time into discrete units)
Dynamics (volume variation, or amplitude)
Timbre (tonal color, as determined by the overall shape of the sound
wave or waveform)
(These relate directly to the physical properties of sound. When discussing electronic sound, i.e.
sampled or synthesized, and Midi, there are other parameters in the mix which are more a part
of studiocraft than of songcraft)
Because of the complexity of words and language, lyrics have many more parameters, and we
will spend the most time on these. Lyric parameters fall into three separate areas:

Semantic elements (having to do with meaning of the words) (Chapters

80
 8- 16)
Prosodic elements (having to do with the rhythm and cadence of words)
(Chapters 17-20)
Phonetic elements (having to do with the sound of the words) (Chap-
ters 21-22)
Over the course of thousands of critiques, I’ve found areas that most commonly need adjustment
in lyrics fall into four broad buckets:

I’ve seen publishers, producers, pro writers, and general listeners alike all hone in on these areas
when they feel something isn’t right with a song.
The next section of this book, Chapters 8-16, is the largest, dealing with the many semantic para-
meters. We’ll look at managing your focus, vehicle, semantic field, tone constancy, imagery, cin-
ema, and achieving balance between concrete and abstract; specific and general; personal and
universal; clear and ambiguous.
Then, beginning in Chapter 17, we’ll look at the Prosodic and Phonetic parameters. Finally, we’ll
look at other topics like collaboration, critique, audience targeting strategies, and music consider-
ations.

Section II-A
THE SEMANTIC PARAMETERS
(Chapters 8-16)

Chapter 8: The Meaning of Meaning

“To write or even speak English is not a science but an art. There are no reliable words.
Whoever writes English is involved in a struggle that never lets up even for a sentence. He is
struggling against vagueness, against obscurity, against the lure of the decorative adjective,
against the encroachment of Latin and Greek, and, above all, against the worn-out phrases and
dead metaphors with which the language is cluttered.” – George Orwell, novelist
“I meant what I said and I said what I meant…”— Horton the Elephant

We’ll start with the fundamental aspect of a song for most songwriters – the clarity of its mean-

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ing. Most likely, you are driven to write because you have something to say, and you want to
share it.
On September 10, 2003, I was at a performance by Crosby, Stills and Nash. David Crosby, well
known for writing songs with pith, had just presented a new song he’d written about corporate
greed. He said “When a songwriter plays a new song for an audience, and the audience ‘gets it’,
them’s the berries”.
In Chapter 5, we looked at the importance of communication. Communication occurs only when
you express your meaning and it is understood by a receiver. If you present a message and a lis-
tener believes they understand it, but their understanding is different than your intent, then there
has been no communication, no connection. I see many songwriters with their eyes closed to the
fact that they are really connecting with no one. There are many techniques, and thus choices, at
your disposal to address this.
Lots of folks say things like “it’s good to leave things open to interpretation” or “it’s good to
leave some things unanswered”. Those are certainly choices you can make, but rarely are they
made with Eyes-Wide–Open, fully understanding what is being sacrificed by making that choice.
In the next chapters, we will discuss this implications of these choices so you can make your de-
cision knowing what you will gain and lose.

CRYSTAL, MUD, OR JELLO: Interpreting Interpretation

You hear it all the time at critique sessions, interviews, panels, or online: songwriters saying “I
want to leave my songs open to interpretation” or “I want each person to get their own meaning
from my songs”, and in the same breath saying “I want to connect with people”. In order to have
any useful discussion, we have to understand what this really means. Consider three things:

(a) Typically, a song represents something that comes from an impor-

tant part of you that you want to share
(b) If you say something in general conversation and someone com-
pletely misinterprets you, you’d rarely just let it go without
trying at least once to clarify what you meant.
(c) I“ want to leave my meaning open to interpretation” is the equiva-
lent of saying “It’s perfectly okay with me if someone im-
poses their own meaning on my words.”
If we accept these things as generally accurate (of course there are always exceptions), then a
songwriter being “okay” with leaving the song ‘open to interpretation’ can only mean one of the
following (and there is nothing “wrong” with any of these – it’s just important that you have
your Eyes-Wide-Open when you make your choices)

(a) the song isn’t saying anything truly important to you

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 (b) you don’t really know what the song is saying
(c) you’re not trying to communicate or connect, just express yourself
(d) you’re finding it difficult to be clear about what you mean, so you
settle for a “5” instead of continuing to work toward a “10”
(e) you’ve written a deliberately unclear intellectual/psychological ex-
ercise to see what people will think it means or to generate
speculation and ‘buzz’
(f) you are understanding the word “interpretation” in a different way
To make an EWO choice, understand that if you choose either a, b, c, or d above, you’re not giv-
ing a listener much reason to care about the song or you as a writer. If you choose e, you’re tar-
geting a relatively small demographic (i.e. those who would like “I Am the Walrus” if it just
came out today for the first time from some unknown writer/artist).
If f above applies, it is not a matter of intentional choice, but of miscommunication. There are
three relevant meanings to “interpretation”, and if two people are not using the same meaning,
it’s the classic example of falsely believing communication has occurred when in fact it has not.
Here are the three possibilities for understanding how one is using the word “interpretation”
when discussing songs:
Definition #1: Artistic Interpretation
A well-written song is usually performed by many different artists, and each one gives it a stylis-
tically and personally different treatment in the performance. Different conductors leading the
same classical symphonic work from the same printed music can produce very different sound-
ing versions. What’s at work here is the artists’ personalization of the performance i.e. how they
believe it “should” be presented. Even if different artists all agree on what a particular song
means, they may have different visions for how it is best presented, based on their skills and the
song’s relevance to their life. If the writer and the artist have communicated, then the presenta-
tion of the song will sound authentic, regardless of style.
Sometimes we hear a version of a song which is seems terribly out of place and incongruous with
the message (just think of all the versions you’ve heard of the Star-Spangled Banner before
sporting events). Ideally, all elements in the performance of a song should be in service to the
song, not to the performer. If a performer has great vocal agility and can add lots of flourishes
and melismata, there can be a tendency to embellish at every opportunity, whether or not it’s ap-
propriate to what the song is saying. In that case, the artist is making the song serve his or her
own skills, rather than the reverse.
Definition #2 – Imposing an Unintended Meaning
This is the case where a listener filters what you are saying through all their own personal experi-
ences (as we all do…) comes to a conclusion, and then ASSUMES that it is what YOU meant to
say. They have imposed their own meaning on you, something you probably would not allow in
normal conversational interaction. You may be speaking figuratively, but are being taken liter-
ally, or vice-verse. General words like “good”, “bad” , “pretty”, loyal”, rarely mean the same

83
thing to different people.
Alternatively, a listener might give you some respect by saying “This song means ’x’ to me, but I
realize that might not be what the writer was saying”. In that case, the listener has not usurped
your meaning, but you have not communicated or connected with them, as you are on different
wavelengths. It’s your choice whether that’s okay with you or not, but how would it make
youfeel if that happened in an important conversation? How important to you is the message of
your song?
Definition #3: Personalization Rather than Interpretation
This is probably what most writers really mean when they say “open to interpretation”. The more
accurate word is “personalization”. The key to balancing listener interpretation while maintain-
ing control of your meaning is leaving space for the listener to personalize certain aspects of the
song i.e. those NOT essential to your message or story, while being specific about those elements
which ARE critical to your message or story. This usually lies in the realm of the 6 W’s – who-
what-where-when-why-how (See Chapter 16). Which of these do you need to set in stone so that
listeners cannot alter them, and which can you allow listeners to fill in for themselves?

Doorways and Windows into Your Song

Consider some well known songs: “Galveston” fixes the place, as opposed to “My Little
Town” which leaves space to personalize that aspect. “Oh, what a night….late December
1963…” fixes the time vs. “It Was a Very Good Year” which leaves the dates to be personalized,
but instead fixes the singer’s exact ages in each verse (e.g. “When I was seventeen…”). When
the Temptations began “Papa Was a Rolling Stone” with “It was the third of September; that
day I’ll always remember, ‘Cause that was the day that my daddy died.” they fixed a date and a
situation, but not a place. “Wichita Lineman” fixes the place and the occupation vs. “Nine to
Five”, which leaves space for personalizing those same elements. “Michelle, ma belle…” fixes
the person’s name vs. “Ma Belle Amie” (my beautiful love…), which can refer to any name.
“Jack and Diane” fixes the names and a geographic region (“two American kids growing up in
the Heartland”), but does not specify Kansas, Nebraska, Iowa., etc. However, you know it’s not
the “south side of Chicago”, which is inhabited by Jim Croce’s “Bad, Bad Leroy Brown”.
In the great Paul Simon song “Poem on the Underground Wall” all the details of time, place, sit-
uation, and the character’s emotional state are given to you in vivid detail. But the key verse:
Now from his pocket quick he flashes,
The crayon on the wall he slashes,
Deep upon the advertising,
A single-worded poem comprising four letters.
leaves you to decide for yourself what that four-letter word is. No matter what you decide, (and
your choices are strongly steered in the direction of the “f” word or the “s” word) you still can’t
change the meaning, message, and cinema of the song, even if you concluded that the four-letter
word was “love”.
In many songs where there are specific characters, even if their names or occupations are speci-
fied, the nature of the character can still invite a listener into the song. As long as a character is

84
not portrayed in a negative way, a listener may choose to identify with the character and their sit-
uation or motivation, and enter the song through that character’s experience. This requires that
those parts of the character be made clear, and presented early in the song. A wishy-washy char-
acter or someone who is cruel and thoughtless will not be an appealing portal for a person to
enter your song, so if you have that kind of character, you need another entry point for the lis-
tener. If you have a character with no background to give them depth, that would not be an invit-
ing entry point for a listener, as they would not want to inhabit a hollow shell. Think of whether a
person would want to trade places with your character(s). If not, what is the alternate entry way
for them into the world you have created?
Go through a bunch of songs you know and look at which parts are fixed and which are left for
you to personalize. Look at how the balance is handled. Some songs do it well, some do not. You
can precisely control how much space you give a listener to personalize the song, what parts you
want keep immutable, and what kind of entry points you offer to your listeners. If you choose to
intentionally leave an important element unspecified, you need a solid reason for doing so. Even
today, there is still discussion about exactly what it was that Billy Joe MacAllister threw off the
Tallahatchie Bridge (“Ode to Billy Joe” by Bobbie Gentry) . However, every other aspect of that
song, considered by Billboard as one of the Top 500 of all time, is absolutely clear and specific.
In Suzanne Vega’s 1987 hit “Luka”, the listener clearly knows that it is about a victim of abuse,
but they do not know (nor need to know) that it is a specific 9-year old boy that Vega is writing
about, as she described in several online blogs and forums.
Remember the goal: have the listener come away with a personalized version of yourtruth.
Consistent with the inevitable existence of exceptions, there is one area where the more vague
and non-specific a song is, the better is “chance” it has – this is the area of film and TV place-
ment. Listen to any of the background songs you here on popular TV shows. They create mood
and have nonspecific lyrics (unless the song is written specifically for a script). This allows a
music director to apply it to a variety of situations which are defined by the visuals and situations
of the script. What’s happening here is that the visuals and the script are providing all the
specifics that the song is not. A soundtrack placement does not necessarily mean a song is a well
crafted – just that it is an appropriate song for a mood. The meaning given to it by a music direc-
tor or a viewer may not necessarily be what your meaning is – in fact it’s usually just background
music - But you’re trading that for the fact that your song can be placed in a potentially royalty-
paying soundtrack. Your choice.
When you “leave a little bit of mystery” in your song, or want to “leave the listener guessing”,
are you helping or hurting your appeal? The answer to this lies in a study done by Harvard psy-
chology professor Daniel Gilbert, described in his book “Stumbling on Happiness” (Vintage
Books 2007, ISBN 1400077427). Quite simply, it showed that once a question is raised in a per-
son’s mind, they can’t stand not knowing the answer.
Do not underestimate the power of curiosity. There are many ways to use it to your advantage in
marketing and promotion, but in the crafting of a song, if your lyrics raise a question, you need
to provide the answer or least a fair set of clues to the answer. Don’t leave the listener hanging
unless you want them to feel discomfort and incompleteness.
Can you choose to write a song that doesn’t really mean much? Of course – there are many such
songs which have become popular for one reason or another. But keep your Eyes Wide Open that

85
you are making that choice, and don’t fool yourself into believing the song has great depth and
meaning when in fact it really doesn’t. Think of it like this—a song with meaning but no craft is
like fine wine in a paper cup. A song with great technical crafting but no meaning is a fine crys-
tal wine glass, empty. And with that example of simile and metaphor, we launch into:

Metaphor and the Lyrical Layer Cake

Three key points needed to begin any discussion of imagery and metaphor are:
1 – Definition. A metaphor is a poetic device which relates two typically unrelated things, saying
directly that A is B (you are the sun; my foot is a balloon). A simile does the same thing but uses
“like” or “as” to make the comparison (you laugh like a jackhammer; his heart is as hard as stale
bread).
2 – Form. Metaphor comes in three forms:
a.—heartache is an empty bed
b.—the empty bed of heartache
c.—heartache’s empty bed
Each of these grammatical constructions is a way of stating the equivalence heartache=empty
bed.
3 – Effect. Metaphor keeps the focus on the first part of the equation while simile transfers it to
the second part of the equation. (“Life is a dance” keeps the focus on life; “Life is like a dance”
transfers the focus to dance).
Whether in a speech, a novel, or a song, if there is a story to be told, or a message to be stated, or
an emotion to be evoked, the words must be clearly directed toward that single goal. Author Kurt
Vonnegut, giving advice about writing short stories, states “Every sentence must do one of two
things—reveal character or advance the action. Give your readers as much information as possi-
ble as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understand-
ing of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cock-
roaches eat the last few pages.” (From the preface to Vonnegut’s short story collection
“Bagombo Snuff Box”)
Besides being clear and concise, lyrics need to be colorful and creative in their use of language
and imagery. One of the most delicate choices a lyricist faces is balancing these two opposing
factors. Language that is absolutely direct and to-the-point is too drab to hold the interest of a po-
tential listener for three minutes. (To verify this, try listening to a scientific lecture on the proper-
ties of the sweat glands of tropical natives’ eyebrows).
On the other hand, if the language is too highly laced with images without enough concrete refer-
ences or common threads to keep the message in focus, then a listener will have to work too hard
to “figure it out”, and at best could only come up with a guess as to what you really mean. (Try a
lecture on the existential significance of the pitted prune in metaphysical mantras).
Consider the example “Your lucid eyes are a plane apart from the spires to which my love as-
pires…” While one can acknowledge that this is neither bland nor unpleasant in sound, it really

86
has no clear meaning and would probably take more than three minutes of additional lyrics just
to lift the fog of vagueness.
Being vague directly conflicts with the goal of trying to make a clear, concise point, and it is as-
sumed that if something is important enough to move you to write about it, it is important to you
that it be understood as you meant it. You want to allow the listener room to find relevance to
his/her own life, but not to totally usurp your meaning.

It’s Good to be Conceited…

There are a number of tools to help you achieve a good balance. Let’s start with the concept of
conceit. This does not refer to the undesirable trait whereby a lyricist thinks that his or her lyrics
are the greatest examples of wordsmithing since the dawn of humankind. A ‘conceit’ in creative
writing, whose root meaning is ‘something conceived’, refers to an implied metaphor which is
conceived in the author’s mind and not directly stated, but which may act as a controlling image
for the piece, around which all other imagery may revolve. It is an analogy that equates two ap-
parently unrelated things, but may never directly state in the lyric that “A” IS “B”. The unstated
metaphor serves as a unifying idea for the lyric, helping to keep it focused on making the point or
conveying the message.
In some cases, the analogy may be stated directly, early in the lyric and serve as the controlling
image, or it may be stated at the end, with everything leading to it. Let’s look at some examples.
Assume we have a metaphor which says “life is a book”. If the lyric says
My life is a book and I’m in chapter 11
the metaphor is directly stated there in the lyric. Whether or not the book becomes the controlling
image depends on how the rest of the lyric is developed. If the lyricist picks up on the “Chapter
11” idea and uses images based on “life without love = bankruptcy”, then bankruptcy becomes
the controlling image and the “life = book” metaphor simply becomes one of the supporting im-
ages in the lyric. If we have a lyric which states:
Though the binding shows its age
When I read the story of our lives
There’s love on every page
Here, “life = book” is the controlling image because the equivalence between the two is clear but
not directly stated, and each of the other references (binding, page) relates to that central equa-
tion. Consider another example:
As I tiptoe through the graveyard in the evening mist, alone
I look at all the dates that frame the dashes set in stone
One date marks the ending, one date marks the start
The dash contains the life the love, the soul, the mind, the heart
These lines clearly convey that the content of a life is being equated to a punctuation mark i.e., a
dash.
There are two kinds of conceits: a Petrarchan conceit and a Metaphysical conceit. The former,

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often seen in sonnets and love poems, usually compares the subject of the poem to a concrete ob-
ject like a flower, a garden, a raindrop, etc. The metaphysical conceit is usually a more complex
analogy where the comparison is unexpected and somewhat abstract.
For example, Edward Taylor built a poem around the equation “the Creator = a weaver”, which
contains lines like:
Make me thy loom then, knit therein this twine
Make thy Holy Spirit Lord wind quills
Then weave the web thyself, the yarn is fine…
In contemporary song lyrics, conceits are frequently at work. The Petrarchan analogy “me = a
bird” gives us “You are the Wind Beneath My Wings.” The metaphor “you = wind” is directly
stated, but the equivalence of “me = bird” is not. Jimmy Webb’s conceit “a park = a cake”,
where the park is in turn symbolic of a love relationship became “MacArthur Park”. If a meta-
physical conceit is supposed to be startling, Harry Chapin was right on target when he equated
“psychotic mass murder” with “a conversation” to serve as the controlling image for “Sniper”,
one of his most outstanding works (a supporting image is the metaphor “bullets = pointed ques-
tions”).
Another metaphysical conceit is the equation “seekers of material reward = travelers on the road
to Oz”. This relationship, under the pen of lyricist Bernie Taupin, yielded the Elton John song
“Goodbye Yellow Brick Road”. In another Elton John song, “Empty Garden”, a beautiful tribute
to John Lennon, Taupin equates Lennon’s songs to a lush garden crop. Every image in the song
is garden-related, even to the point of referring to Lennon’s killer as an insect who destroyed so
much grain. Another great Bernie Taupin conceit is “a troubled public life = a struggling flame”
– and we know it as “Candle in the Wind”. Looking farther back in music history, a famous Pe-
trarchan conceit is found in the poem by Abel Meeropol (aka Lewis Allan) equating victims of
racial lynching with fruit on a tree, to give us the Billie Holiday classic “Strange Fruit”.
Insuring that all the images relate back the controlling image is called “tone constancy” and this
is a requirement for the effective use of conceit. If only some of the images relate to the conceit,
while others don’t, it becomes hard for the idea to stay in focus, and the listener becomes con-
fused or disinterested. This kind of path-of-least-resistance writing leads to ‘mixed metaphors’,
which is the term given to a metaphor about apples in a song full of oranges. Here’s a made-up-
on-the-spot example:
Lovin’ you is a grand slam but you made a double-play
Two balls and a strike won’t make you balk
You appeal to my base instincts like a chocolate soufflé
It’s my turn at batand I’m goin’ for a walk.
In this lyric, every image relates to the equation “physical love = a baseball game”, except for the
chocolate soufflé, which sticks out like a bad note. It creates a mixed metaphor. Something about
a hot dog and buns might have been better.
The importance of tone constancy cannot be overstated, because without it the effectiveness of a
controlling image is negated. Another fine example is the standard by George David Weiss and
Bob Thiele, “What A Wonderful World”. Here, the conceit is “colors of nature = races of
mankind”, and every image in the lyric relates to this unstated analogy. Not a single reference to

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chocolate soufflé. You’ve probably heard this song used in many different ways, e.g., movies,
commercials, soundtracks, recordings by various artists across multiple styles, etc. That’s a ton
of royalties.
The combination of a fresh, inventive conceit and a tone constant vehicle is extremely powerful.
For some of the most inventive conceits and vehicles in the rock genre, look at the songs of Pete
Townsend of The Who. The song “Squeeze Box” uses the conceit “breasts = a concertina”, and
the song tells how Momma has a squeezebox on her chest that Daddy ‘plays’ with (“Momma’s
got a squeeze box, Daddy never sleeps at night”).
This leads to an obvious question: “What about all the great songs that do not have all of the im-
ages centered around a single metaphor?” There is nothing that requires a song to use a conceit
or controlling image. It is only one of the many tools available to a writer. There are songs called
“list songs” (see Chapter 9) which do not have a controlling image, thus are not tone constant in
the use of imagery. Dan Fogelberg’s song “Longer”, uses many images, but none of them relate
semantically to each other. The lyric states that the singer’s love for the singee is longer than the
age of the heavens, higher than mountains, deeper than forests, higher than birds in flight, etc.
The important elements here are that

(a) all of the metaphors are semantically mixed so that no single one
stands out as an oddball
(b) all of the images do relate to and reinforce the central message of
the song i.e. “my love for you is of great magnitude”.
(c) All the images depict large-scale natural wonders (as opposed to
anything man- made, or of small scale)
Although a song does not necessarily have to have a controlling image, a song does need to have
a focus, i.e., a central, easy to state idea which embodies the main point or message of the lyric.
Even though the metaphors in “Longer” do not relate to a central image, they all are about nat-
ural things of great magnitude and are thus consistent in concept, and also parallel in construc-
tion (Longer than, Higher than, Deeper than, Truer than…)
Songs that tell a story are not required to use conceit. The classic “Coward of the County” is a
story which employs many cinematic techniques and foreshadowing, but it does not have a con-
trolling image. It relates the tale in a very direct narrative and visually concrete fashion, which is
why it works. It’s focus is crystal clear.
To summarize thus far: For successful communication, a lyric must have a focus, which is a
well defined central idea or message. A lyric may or may not use a controlling image i.e., a con-
ceit, to express this central idea. If your lyric has a conceit, then it becomes necessary for the im-
ages to be tone constant, i.e., to all relate back to the controlling image, otherwise, mixed
metaphors result, diluting the impact of the central metaphor.
This brings us now to the discussion of balancing colorful, poetic language with clear and direct
language. That balance lies in consistency. Tone constancy is one way of being colorful while
staying sharply focused (‘constancy’ is synonymous with ‘consistency’). In songs which do not
employ a controlling image, the images used won’t be tone constant, but they can and must all
serve to reinforce the primary point or message of the song. Any single simile or metaphor which

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does not do this will detract from the overall clarity by making the listener momentarily uncer-
tain of what is being conveyed, and in that moment of uncertainty, the song rolls on by, leaving
the listener to play ‘catch up’ (or if it’s an industry A&R person, they’ll play ‘eject and reject’).

Ascending to the Second Story…Allegory:

(see also Chapter 15, Intentional Ambiguity)
There is another facet in the area of lyrical metaphors that you may choose to explore. Many lyri-
cists have important messages to convey or social statements to make, or intellectual experiments
to try. One could do so by taking the ‘direct’ approach and leaving no doubt about the meaning,
but the result would likely be a topical, novelty or protest song which preaches, and thus, despite
any merits it might have, would only appeal to a limited audience (i.e., those who agree with the
position taken). The song would stand little chance of ever becoming a ‘standard’ (a cult favorite,
perhaps). If it is the songwriter’s intent to appeal to and communicate with the broadest possible
audience, then yet another variation of metaphor can be employed—the allegory.
Let’s first take a look at how information is conveyed by language. Based on the work of linguist
Noam Chomsky, all language has a grammar which carries with it at least two levels of meaning.
The surface level deals only with the direct, literal meaning of the words and usually only con-
veys a small part of the information contained in the sentence(s). The deep structure contains
much additional information and connotations, which an active listener will perceive, while a ca-
sual listener may not. (I highly recommend reading the work of Noam Chomsky on linguistics,
grammar, and how information is communicated).
An allegory extends the use of metaphor to pervade this entire second level of meaning. A lyric
may tell a story, complete unto itself on the surface, but in reality, the writer is using the persons,
objects and actions to represent things outside the narrative. Thus, there are multiple analogies at
work, which relate to form en entire second message, all beneath the surface level of the lyric.
This allows casual listeners to hear the song and even though they may not be aware of its ‘real’
message, they still get a satisfying lyric, and will not be averse to hearing it again. The more
times they listen, the better the chance is that they will finally ‘get it’. An allegorical lyric is chal-
lenging to write because not only must the surface meaning follow the basic principles of good
lyric writing, everything portrayed in the lyric must be metaphorically equated to something else
to weave an entirely different tale. In the Bernie Taupin/Elton John example mentioned above,
John Lennon is a gardener and his assassin is an insect, yet even if the listener is unaware of this,
there is still a complete and thus satisfying lyric about a gardener who is now gone. Consider this
example written by Terry Kirkman and recorded by The Association in the late 1960’s.
Requiem For the Masses
Requiem Aeternum
Mama, mama, forget your pies,
Have faith they won’t get cold
Then turn your eyes to the bloodshot skies,
Your flag is flying full
At half mast for the matadors
Who turned their backs to please the crowd
And all fell before the bull

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Red was the color of his blood flowing thin
Pallid white was the color of his lifeless skin
Blue was the color of the morning sky
He saw looking up from the ground where he died
It was the last thing ever seen by him
Kyrie Eleison
Mama, mama, forget your pies,
Have faith they won’t get cold
Then turn your eyes to the bloodshot skies,
Your flag is flying full
At half mast for the matadors
Who turned their backs to please the crowd
And all fell before the bull
Black and white were the figures that recorded him
Black and white was the newsprint he was mentioned in
Black and white was the question that so bothered him
He never asked, he was taught not to ask
But was on his lips as they buried him
Looking only at the surface, this is a lyric which pays tribute to fallen bullfighters. Its imagery is
tone constant toward that end and well-supported by the music, with Latin phrases rendered in
sacred choral style, snare drum dirges, and a flamenco-sounding guitar. The fact that Catholicism
is a predominant religion in Spain and Mexico is totally consistent with the religious meaning of
‘Masses’ in the title. The song could stand completely on its own, on its surface meaning alone.
But the underlying allegory is present right in the title, when one considers the that ‘masses’ also
refers to the general population of a country. If we take the unstated metaphors to be “bull =
racism” and “matadors = civil rights leaders” then the song takes on a whole second meaning,
underscored by the “black and white” references of the second verse, the “red, white and blue” in
verse 1, and the other, more colorful meaning of “bull”. The hidden ‘second story’ is a direct out-
growth of the turbulent events of the 1960’s.
Let’s take a look at another example by Harry Chapin:

Dance Band on the Titanic

(Chorus): Dance Band on the Titanic

Sing ‘Nearer My God to Thee’
The iceberg’s on the starboard bow
Won’t you dance with me?
Mama stood cryin’ at the dockside
Saying “Please son, don’t take this trip”
I said “Mama, sweet mama, don’t you worry none,
Even God couldn’t sink this ship…”

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Well, the whistle blew, they turned the screws
It churned the water into foam
Destination—Sweet Salvation,
Goodbye home sweet home…
(Repeat Chorus)
There was a trombone and a saxophone
The bass and drums were cookin’ on the bandstand
I was strummin’ in the middle with this dude on the fiddle
We were three days out from land
Now the foghorn’s jammed and moaning
Hear it groaning through the misty night
I heard the lookout shout down “There’s icebergs all around,
But still everything’s all right”
(Repeat Chorus)
They were burning all the flares for candles
In the banquet they were throwing in First Class
And we were blowing waltzes in the ballroom
When the universe went ‘Crash’
“There’s no way this could happen!”
I could hear the old captain curse.
He ordered “Lifeboats away”. That’s when I heard the chaplain say
“Women, children and chaplains first!”
Well they soon used up all of the lifeboats
But there were a lot of us left on board
I heard the drummer saying “Boys, just keep playing,
Now we’re doing this date for the Lord…”
(Repeat Chorus)
There’s a wild-eyed boy in the radio shack
He’s the last remaining guest
He was tapping in a Morse code frenzy
Tapping “Please God…S.O.S.!”
Jesus Christ can walk on water,
Where a music man will drown
They say Nero fiddled while Rome burned up,
Well, I’ll be strumming as the ship goes down.
(Repeat Chorus)
Again, there is a totally self-contained story in the surface meaning of the words. Following good
storytelling principles, the camera angle never shifts without clearly telling the listener where it’s
going. Six different people speak in this song, but there is never any ambiguity as to who is
speaking to whom, when, and why. This is enough to make the song clear and complete with no
further interpretation needed.

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However, for those who like to find that second story, the conceit is “Titanic = planet Earth”.
With this in mind, the song takes on a whole new perspective: The passengers and their behavior
reflect our Western society and the song carries the social message “If we ignore the dangers
(icebergs) and don’t show more concern for our environment and our fellow human beings, we’ll
destroy the planet”. If this social message were stated directly, the song would be a typical
protest song and not have the much broader appeal it has by also providing a look at a well
known historical event.
Another example, discussed earlier in Chapter 5, is Don McLean’s “American Pie”. If, like this
classic, a song is allegorical and well-crafted, then it doesn’t take much to understand that second
meaning, once the main conceit is known. If, after knowing the conceit, you still find yourself
having to do a lot of guessing and speculating, then either the song is not well-crafted (Fader # 2
is not contributing to the mix), or you’re “reading too much into it”, i.e., it doesn’t really have a
second meaning.

Alternate Viewpoints and Contexts:

Allegory is not the only way to convey dual messages. Another technique, is to have a dual con-
text. That is, you the writer intentionally allow two or more equally valid interpretations of your
words. If you heard Michael Jackson singing about “Ben”, and didn’t know about the movie it
comes from, you’d think he’s singing about a person and it would make sense. If you did know
about the movie, then you’d know he is really singing about a rat.
In the standard “You Light Up My Life”, the “you” can refer to either a special loved one, or to
God, making the song either a sensitive secular love song, or a song of praise and thanks to God,
depending only on how you, the listener, view it.
Unlike the allegory, no words require alternate interpretation to arrive at a second meaning. The
lyrics are taken only at their surface meaning. What shifts is the interpretation of who the singee
(the “you” in the title) is. To further illustrate the point, one could also shift the context so that
the singee is a pet, like a dog or cat bringing joy to a lonely person, and the song still makes
sense at face value. It is totally universal at its surface level, and does not exclude any listener
from identifying with it by allowing shifting viewpoints. A shifting viewpoint is external to the
song itself. It is something a listener does to alter the context in which he or she perceives the
lyrical content. A lyric which can stand on its own from different listener viewpoints, assuming
this isintended by the writer, is a well-crafted piece of work. If this is not the writer’s intent,
then the Effectiveness and Craft Faders (Channels 1 and 2) are not contributing their full poten-
tial to the final mix and the writers intended meaning is being lost in ambiguity. (See Chapter 15
for discussion of intentional ambiguity)
At a packed song critique session, a beautifully produced song was played by a new member of
the group. The lyric spoke about memories that were fading and the sadness of the singer about
not being able to retrieve them as clearly as he once could. I recall as I listened to this piece that
after a verse and chorus, I interpreted the singer as a typical male in a love song trying to remem-
ber a lost love. I liked the production but really couldn’t get a handle on the message of the lyric.
I then shifted my internal viewpoint to think of singer as being an elderly person with dementia.
All of a sudden, the entire lyric took on a new meaning, and in fact was very moving, almost to
the point of evoking tears. This was echoed by some other listeners as well in the course of the

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critique.
As it turned out, the writer then revealed that the song was in fact supposed be from the point of
view of a young man missing a lost love, and had nothing to do with dementia, an interpretation
he did not expect and did not like others having. Despite the fact that the elderly person interpre-
tation was meaningful and moving to some, it bothered the writer because it was not what he in-
tended, and listeners unintentionally took over his meaning.
This points out what can happen if a song is written in a way that is intended only from a specific
viewpoint, yet leaves that element open to interpretation. This was a song which depended on the
listener assuming the right point of view, and if that did not happen, the song did not have the de-
sired effect. Songs like that can work in movies or shows, where the story has clearly set up the
situation and there is a visual to make clear what’s happening, but such songs can rarely stand
alone and be highly effective.
(for another example of shifting viewpoint and context, see the story behind “I Will Never Be
Lost Again” at Behind the Songs at www.billpere.com)

Chapter 9: LISTS and TWISTS:

Metaphors, Controlling Image and Song Format

“The gift of the family novelist is to turn the cleaning of a closet into an inventory of love
and loss; to scan a poem from a shopping list.”
—Marilyn Gardner, staff writer, Christian Science Monitor

We speak a great deal about song form. Songs have verses, choruses, bridges, tags, climbs and
we can represent the order of these in a song by using letters to represent the different parts. Thus
a song might be of the form A-B-A-B (verse-chorus-verse-chorus), A-B-A-B-C-B, (verse-cho-
rus-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus), A-A-A (verse-verse-verse), or several other variations. What
we do not speak about often enough is song format. There are two primary song formats: lists
and stories. A song of any form or of any genre can be either a list or a story.
What is a List Song?
A list song is one where:
(a) the main point of the song (the focus) is stated completely in a single
verse (or versechorus combination) i.e., any verse (or verse-chorus)
could stand on its own as a complete unit.
(b) each subsequent verse re-states the same point in a distinctly different
way
(c) if any verse is removed from the song, it is not critical to the sense or
success of the song in communicating the message.
(d) there is no required relationship in time between events described in one

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 verse and those any other
(e) A pair of lines or verses could be interchanged without affecting the
sense of the song.
What is a Story Song?
A story song is one where:
(a) The flow of the verses depicts a sequence of events which in total make
the song’s point. A single verse (or verse-chorus) is not enough by it-
self to stand alone and convey the message.
(b) if any verse (or line) is removed from the song, something critical to the
overall logic of the song is lost
(c) the lyric addresses the six “W’s” , who, what, where, when , why, and
how
(d) there is an explicit or implicit relationship in time between the events in
the verses (i.e., verse #2 occurs 3 hours after verse #1)
(e) no lines in any verse can be interchanged with any other lines and still
make sense.
It should be easy to tell the difference between lists and stories, and it should be very easy to
write a list lyric, right? Well, let’s take a look.
Dan Fogelberg’s “Longer” is clearly a list about the magnitude of his love. The only point of the
song is “I love you a lot”. All the lyrics just re-state that point using different metaphors e.g.,
Longer than there are stars up in the heavens/ Higher than any bird ever flew/Deeper than any
forest primeval … Sounds easy? We have to remember scope and semantic field. The metaphors
are consistent with each other in that they are all about natural things like forests, stars, birds,
fish, and oceans, and they are all about “big” things. It would not be appropriate to insert an item
about the height of a skyscraper in a list of natural wonders, or an item about a grain of sand in a
list of big things. Lists must be consistent to maximize effectiveness.
Here is a the chorus from “All God’s Critters” by Bill Staines (an ABABABABAB folk song)
All God’s critters have a place in the choir
Some sing low, some sing higher,
Some sing out loud on a telephone wire
Some just clap their hands or paws or anything they’ve got now…
Now here are the five verses, all of which support the chorus, re-state the same message, have
overall consistency, and could stand alone:

Listen to the bass, it’s the one on the Singin’ in the nighttime, singin’
bottom in the day
Where the bullfrogs croak and the hip- The little duck quacks, then he’s

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popotamus on his way,
Moans and groans with a big ‘to-do’ And the ‘possum, he ain’t got
And the old cow just goes ‘moo’… much to say,
And the porcupine talks to him-
self
Now the dogs and the cats, they take It’s a simple song of livin’ sung
up the middle everywhere
While the honeybee hums and the By the ox and the fox and the
crickets fiddle grizzly bear
And the donkey brays and the pony The grumpy alligator and the
neighs hawk above,
And the old coyote howls The sly raccoon and the turtle
dove…
Listen to the top with the little birds
singing
On the melody with the high notes
ringing
And the hoot owl hollers over every-
thing
And the jaybird disagrees
What about Church Hymns? A quick look through a hymnal will show that most hymns are 3-5
verses, each re-stating the same message. Any single verse can stand alone, thus, hymns are list
songs. Well-known examples are “America the Beautiful”, with verses extolling different virtues
of our country, and “All Things Bright and Beautiful”, about the natural world.
Another shape that a list song can take is that the first verse or the chorus can state the song’s
message in a general way and then all the following verses can serve as more specific, supporting
examples. In this case, each verse can be internally consistent within itself in scope and semantic
field, but not necessarily consistent from verse to verse. This is fine, as long as they state exactly
the same message, and each serves as a specific supporting example of a more general case pre-
sented in the first verse or chorus.
For an array of list songs, many of which are classics, look at the work of Cole Porter, who was a
master of the list format.
There are yet other twists on lists… Let’s look at the lyrics from Bill Joel’s “Movin’ Out”:
Anthony works in the grocery store saving his pennies for someday
Mama Leone left a note on the door, she said “Sonny move out to the country”
Working too hard can give you a heart attack, you ought to know by now,
Who needs a house out in Hackensack? Is that all you get for your money?
It seems such a waste of time, if that’s what it’s all about,

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If that’s movin’ up, then I’m movin’ out.
Sergeant O’Leary is walking the beat, at night he becomes a bartender
He works at Mr. Cacciatore’s down on Sullivan Street, across from the Medical Center
He’s trading in his Chevy for a Cadillac, you ought to know by now,
If he can’t drive with a broken back, at least he can polish the fender
It seems such a waste of time, if that’s what it’s all about,
If that’s movin’ up, then I’m movin’ out.
It’s a song with an (A-A) format. Is it story or list? Your first impulse might be to say it’s a story,
but if you look closely, verse one and verse two share no dependence on each other at all. They
are both self-contained statements of the song’s message. It is true that within themselves. they
are short stories, but the overall song is a list of short stories or vignettes, each supporting a
shared central idea.
Another example of a list of stories is “Garbage”, written by William Steele, recorded by
Rosenshontz. Here, the message of the song, whose chorus consists primarily of the exclamation
“Garbage!” is that the trash we generate, both physical and intellectual, is messing up the envi-
ronment.
(v1) Mr. Thompson calls the waiter, orders steak and baked potater
Leaves the bone and gristle and he never eats the skin
Then the bus boy comes and takes it, with a cough contaminates it
Dumps it in a can with coffee grinds and sardine tins
Then the truck comes by on Friday to haul it all away
And a thousand trucks just like it are converging on the bay… (to chorus)
(v2) Mr. Thompson starts his Cadillac, winds it up the freeway track
Leaving friends and neighbors in a hydrocarbon haze…
He’s joined by other cars, sending gasses to the stars
There to form a seeding cloud that hangs for thirty days
And the sun looks down upon it with its ultraviolet tongue
Turns to smog and settles down and ends up in our lungs… (to chorus)
(v3) Coming home, takes off his shoes, settles down for the evening news
While the kids do homework with the TV in one ear
While Superman for the thousandth time sells sexy dolls and conquers crime
They dutifully learn the date of birth of Paul Revere
In the paper there’s a piece about the mayor’s middle name,
And he gets it read in time to watch the all-star Bingo game… (to chorus)
Thus, we have three stories, with the same character (Mr. Thompson), yet all self-contained ex-
amples of a specific type of pollution, and not interdependent on each other (Mr. Thompson does
not have to be in each verse for them to make sense, and the order could be switched). This is a
list of examples in the form of stories (vignettes).
Here’s another example of the vignette format, which I used in my song “Bein’ Cool”, from the
“High School My School” collection. The central statement of the chorus is:
“Bein’ cool – It ain’t so hot if you are what you’re not.”

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Here are the verses:
(v1) Wiley Willy’s walkin’ down the hall, trash talkin’
When Serena sidles up and stops him right in his tracks
She says “You better stop your messin’
See you really ain’t impressin me
And if you think you are then you ain’t got all the facts” - (to chorus)
(v2) Lita’s so elite, she says ‘bout every guy she’ll meet
That they just don’t have the heat to hang with her very long
I say “You know, if you’re believing
That’s why all your friends are leaving
Well then let me tell you now that you just got it all wrong - (to chorus)
(v3) Cheno is the man, everyone else is also-ran
If he’s around he’ll put you down in any way that he can
I tell him man it’s just your call, but if you think you’re standing tall
Well then let me tell you now you’re heading right for a fall - (to chorus)
Three verses, each a separate scene, different characters, not dependent on any other verse, but
all setting up the same central message of the chorus. I again used the technique here in “All I
Need is a Friend”, where three independent vignettes all convey the same message (alienation
leads to destructive behavior) and each verse flows to the same chorus by way of a common pre-
chorus. Here is the chorus:
I am poetry not yet written
A tale still too young to take wing
A symphony just getting set to soar
A song not yet ready to sing
But I know, for these things to grow
And be all they can be in the end
I need someone there
To care and help all the hurt mend
All I need is a friend

Here are the verses:

(v1) Chiani disappears after school

I thought she had it all together, she was nobody’s fool
But she’s feeling like there’s no one around
To give her life direction, keep her feet on the ground
So she waits until the end of each class
Then she hangs with Jackie Daniels, a bottle, and a glass
People turn their heads, choose not to see
I know about being alone, it could be me (to chorus)
(v2) Joshua has been feeling down
It’s another world out there on the far side of town

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That’s the way his life’s always been
Built a wall around him, no one ever gets in
From lessons learned and tears that he’s cried
Always by himself, Smith and Wesson by his side
People turn their heads, choose not to see
I know about being alone, it could be me (to chorus)
(v3) Brianna really needs to connect
She’s feeling like a castaway, relationship-wrecked
She’s tried to reach out for a hand
Someone to talk to, someone to understand
The silence slowly drives her insane
She spends her time just floating with her friend Mary Jane
People turn their heads, choose not to see
I know about being alone, it could be me (to chorus)
In crafting your format, the guideline is : either allthe verses should be interdependent for
time and context (a story); or noneof the verses should be interdependent for time and context (a
list).
Problems with song construction arise when some verses are independent examples of some-
thing, and others in the same lyric bear a sequential dependence on one of the other verses. In
that case, you are mixing the two formats, and what you really have is either
(a) a redundant verse (one of the independent ones) - or –
(b) an illogical/inconsistent verse (one of the dependent ones).
This is a major cause of confusing and unfocused lyrics but is often hard to bring out at a critique
session because it may be difficult to detect and explain.
If we look at actual story-songs which are not lists, we have classic examples like “Coward of
the County”, “Taxi”, “Big Bad John”, “Laurie”, “Luka”, “Moments”, “The Wreck of the Ed-
mund Fitzgerald”, “Christmas in the Trenches”, “Copacabana”, and “A Boy Named Sue”. All
are sequences of verses which together, weave a complete tale, and no single part can stand
alone. Every verse interrelates to all the others, and no verse can be removed without losing a
piece of logic. Good story songs are more difficult to write than lists because of the required con-
nections of time and logic and consistency across all parts of the lyric. For great examples of the
story format, listen to the body of work of Harry Chapin.
Some songs can be subtle about whether they are lists or stories, but if you apply the tests listed
above, you’ll find that if well written, they are one type or the other. Pay particular attention to
the importance or non-importance of time. In songs that try to describe a moment or a feeling, it
is easy to do as a list by specifying characteristics of that moment (what do you see, how do you
feel, etc.), but it is extremely difficult if not impossible to do as a story, because time isn’t flow-
ing.
What about all those songs which just seek to express or evoke an emotion, without a particular
story or message? If you look closely, these types are songs are usually random lists of emotive
phrases or images, which may or may not have something tying them together.

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 Oh baby you left me
You made me feel so sad
I’m gonna get my life together
You always smelled real bad
I knew it when we met
You liked her more than me
But my brother in law sells cars
So I’ll go where love is free
This is essentially a list of loosely related thoughts and sentiments. There are many songs written
this way, and they usually need to rely on a great musical groove to give them some traction. But
that always raises the question, if you have a great musical groove, how much would you in-
crease the song’s appeal if you also had great lyrics? When people think of Disco, the last thing
they think about is “great lyrics!”. Disco is first and foremost, dance music. However, a disco
song does not preclude having a solid set of story or list lyrics that are more than moaning,
groaning, and emoting. The example mentioned above, “Copacabana”, written by Jack Feld-
man, Barry Manilow, and Bruce Sussman, is pure disco, but it is also a well-told story of love,
jealousy, and tragedy, spanning many years. The same musical production without the lyrical
story would not likely have won a Grammy.
The same holds true in the R&B genre, known more for groove and mood than great lyrics, but
listen to the well told tale of “Lady Marmalade” (Bob Crewe and Ken Nolan) and you’ll see
how lyrical content only elevates a great groove and broadens appeal.
To help you really think about it, look at your own songs, verse by verse. If they cannot easily be
identified as a list or a story, then perhaps some re-thinking may be in order. (For more on effec-
tive storytelling, See Chapter 16, “Writing in the Key of W”)

Chapter 10: Aim for the Bullseye and Avoid the Bull: The Essence of a Lyric
Is Its “S”/ “N” s
Managing the Concrete – Abstract Balance

Our language is polarized. Concretewords are usually the language of poets. Abstract
words are usually the language of politicians.” - Richard Shelton, author

Regardless of the format of your song, i.e. a story or a list, an important concern is balancing
concrete vs. abstract references. Without a solid grasp of this, you risk missing two-thirds of
your audience. From Chapter 6, we learned that 70% of people, both writers and listeners, have a
preference for getting information through sensory information – things that you can see, hear,
touch, taste, or smell. These are represented by concrete words: perfume, beer, dog, table,
flower, sun, water, car, wind, etc. Those are the types of words that address the listener’s sensory
paths to make a lyric seem real and easy to relate to.
The other 30% prefer to communicate through concepts and ideas. These iNtuitives (“N”) focus
on big-picture things like forests and faces rather than trees and lips, while the Sensory (“S”) per-

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ceivers focus on detailed things like trees and lips instead of forests and faces. Each has their
own particular difficulty in trying to write a balanced lyric. The “S” writers can be very detailed,
but may have a hard time finding a universal message to write about, or an overarching metaphor
to tie the lyric images together. The “N” writers will address universal concepts (truth, justice,
beauty, and love) but may have a hard time developing specific situations and descriptions that
make the concepts down-to-earth and easily accessible to the senses of a listener. If an “N” and
“S” person both look at the same animal, one will see an elephant, the other will see a trunk, a
tail, and ears, and each will say that the other is crazy, when in fact they are both right, and they
both know they’re right!
With seven out of ten people in a general population having an “S” preference, if your lyrics
have no concrete references, you’re potentially losing 70% of your audience right away. A suc-
cessful lyric requires a balance of concept and detail, of content and form, of forests and trees, to
touch the masses. There is no right or wrong way to develop your own skill at balancing these
things. It first takes awareness, then the commitment to work at it, then practice, and openness to
good critique. It is very helpful to have a supportive songwriters group to interact with who are
aware of the S/N difference. Another approach to achieving balanced lyrics is to have a comple-
mentary collaborator. S and N teams who are aware of each other’s strengths make a great pair.

The Concrete Test

One quick test for seeing if your song has enough concrete references is to count all the nouns,
and see how many are readily accessible through at least one sensory path e.g., beer is accessible
via sight, touch, taste, and smell; Fire is accessible through touch, sight, sound, and smell; Atoms
are accessible only through an electron microscope, thus are not readily accessible; Beauty lives
only in the mind and does not come through the senses… you do not “see” beauty. You see a
face, lips, a painting, a flower, and you interpret them in your mind to be beautiful or not. The
sensory experience of seeing a face is universal, but interpretation of that face as beauty is per-
sonal and different from person to person.
What are songs generally written about? Love, loneliness, friendship, heartache, justice, peace,
nostalgia, loss, etc. All of these are abstract concepts. The task of the songwriter is to take these
universal concepts and present them in the language of concrete things.
A key point: If you are writing for the mainstream, trying to get your songs to artists, publishers
or general listeners, you are writing primarily for “S” perceivers.
Here’s a technique that might help. In trying to define ideas to write about or to use as vehicle for
getting a message across, think in terms of groups or sets.

The “boys” circle is completely inside the “people” circle because all boys are people (some girls

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might debate that, but that’s a different topic). Likewise for the “girls” circle. The boys and girls
circle don’t overlap because no boys are girls and vice-verse (I know—some folks might debate
that too …) Now let’s add another circle—all people named Chris.

It’s concrete, unique, memorable, and it was a hit. It was an effective way to convey the “N”
message of the song—that love is sometimes expressed in ways which seem to be quite the op-
posite of love. Things that are concrete and unique will often turn up as bullseyes on these pic-
tures of sets.
When deciding what level of images to use, the deeper into the circles you go, the more specific
you are being. Also, the deeper into the picture it is, the more qualities it represents, thus the
more chances of connecting with listeners. If we did the same exercise above with “vehicles” in-
stead of “people”, we’d have a level for cars, boats, trains, etc,. In the “train” circle, we’d have
kinds of trains (Santa Fe, B&O, Illinois Central, etc.), and eventually, we’d have a singular circle
inside of vehicles and trains and Illinois Central that said “City of New Orleans”. Bullseye for
writer John Goodman and artist Arlo Guthrie. The entire song is an excellent lesson in detail. It’s
an “S” presentation of an “N” concept—the loss of past traditions.
For “N” perceivers, this technique is useful for going from the big ideas (forests) down to con-
crete specifics (trees and leaves). For “S” perceivers, who often start out with details, The reverse
process, going from small inner circles to the larger outer circles, is useful for focusing the topic
of your lyric, and finding one governing metaphor (a lyric should have only one!).
For example, take an image of a woman sitting on a barstool surrounded by suitors. There are
several sets (circles) here : women, women sitting, women in bars, and women surrounded by
suitors.
The diagram would be:

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Now add the next set, “women who are surrounded by suitors…”

We now see that the two detail sets of queens and female bar customers match at all the higher
levels. Thus, a governing metaphor of “female bar customer = queen” will work. For tone con-
stant detail-level metaphors, a bar becomes a kingdom, a barstool becomes a throne, a wine glass
is a scepter, etc. Shel Silverstein used this governing metaphor and those details to write the clas-
sic “Queen of the Silver Dollar”. The chorus is :
She’s the Queen of the Silver Dollar,
She rules the smoky kingdom
Her scepter is a wine glass and the barstool is her throne…
The jesters gather round her,
Trying to win her favor,
To see which one will take the Queen of the Silver Dollar home.
Thus, a good metaphor can be identified by two independent detail circles that both lie in a com-
mon group of higher level circles. Country music has wide appeal because it generally has “S”
oriented lyrics but is well balanced by “N” aspects like puns and word-play (e.g., the concept of
infidelity expressed by saying “We live in a two-story house”; the concept of burning desire ex-
pressed by “There’s not enough room in my Fruit-of-the-Loom to hold all my love for you”).

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A good “S/N” balance is the “ess-ence” of a successful lyric in any style of music. You want the
majority of nouns in your song to be concrete.
To summarize:
Whatever techniques you choose, and whatever genre you write in, the key points are:

70% of the general population are detail-oriented, sensory perceivers,

thus, concrete references are essential.
Lyrics which achieve a balance between concrete detail and abstract
concept have the broadest appeal
Intuitive “N” writers will start “big” and must work down to details and
specifics.
Sensory “S” writers will start with details and must work upward to
achieve a focused message and consistent, tone-constant imagery.

Chapter 11: Plaster, Mortar, or Cement

Managing Clarity and Specificity
“Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and
clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves.”—Blaise Pascal
A “concrete” reference does not mean plaster, mortar, or cement…although those actually are
concrete references in the lyrical sense, as well. Simply stated, a concrete reference is something
that is easily accessible to at least one of your senses…you can see, hear, touch, smell, or taste it
without a great deal of effort. You can “see” a galaxy using a telescope, but it is not readily ac-
cessible to your eyes, thus it may not be an effective concrete reference unless you are writing
for a niche market of astronomers, or the overall scope of your song is cosmic (i.e. all your refer-
ences are on a galactic scale) Examples of common concrete references are: Rain, trees,
barstools, squeaks, perfume, broccoli, velvet, wood, dogs, lips, flame, etc.
These are important because seven out of ten of people prefer to receive information through
their sensory pathways. When you say “She watched TV”, most listeners will know what a TV
is… they may visualize different kinds of TV’s (personalization of the song), but unless it really
matters to your song that it’s a 36 inch HD Sony or a 64-inch plasma Magnavox, you don’t have
to say anything more. You and your listener are communicating on the same wavelength. (If you
were writing an advertising jingle about a particular brand of TV, then it would matter what kind
it was.) The necessary level of detail is determined by the ultimate purpose of your song, i.e.,
what do you intend to say to a listener? This is a critical first step, because if you aren’t ab-
solutely sure what you intend to say, then certainly nobody else will be.
The following are not concrete references: happiness, truth, beauty, feeling, anger, soul, and
love. But, you say, you can feel anger and love, and see beauty, so why aren’t they concrete? Be-

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cause they are not perceived through the five senses…they are felt emotionally or “seen” in the
mind… Emotional feeling is not the same as touching, and visualizing in the mind is not the
same as seeing with the eyes. Happiness, truth, beauty, and love can mean extremely different
things to different people, thus, when used in a lyric, the message a listener receives may not be
the one you mean to send.
This doesn’t mean you should never use these kinds of words. Of course you should. It is these
abstract ideas that songs are about. But if you list all the essential themes which form the “about-
ness” of songs, there are probably little more than a hundred. Given that millions of songs exist,
that means for any particular emotion or idea, there are many thousands of songs about it. To
have any chance of having your song stand out, it must be fresh and different. The vocabulary of
concrete things is extremely large, and gives you the means to take something that many people
write about, like love or loneliness, and present it to the senses in a totally new way.
There are standard songs which use only words of concept or feeling, but it takes a great deal of
skill and effort to do this and achieve both clear and a fresh way of saying it. The line “What’s
love, but a second-hand emotion” is a good example of something not concrete, yet original. It
does have sonic elements which help make it feel familiar (klang with the phrase “second the
motion”. See the Sonic Parameters section for more on Klang, as well as Chapter 15). You gain a
great deal of choice and potential for originality when you mix ideas and feelings with direct sen-
sory context.
There are many immortal songs write about love and truth and beauty, but many of the great
ones present those concepts in very concrete terms. The classic “What a Wonderful World” is not
a concrete title. Since there are billions of people in the world, there are billions interpretations of
what “world” means, and of what is “wonderful” the access path is through the mind, not the
senses. But the way the song describes what makes this a wonderful world is through concrete
sensory images like skies of blue, fields of green, and this enables us to understand and share
the writers’ vision of “wonderful world”. Since it was similar enough to what millions of people
believed or wanted to believe about a “wonderful world”, the song has become a standard.

Enhancing the Concrete Test with Adjectives

How do you know if you’re being concrete or not? We introduced the Concrete Test in Chapter
10, where you count up all the nouns in your lyric and see how many of them are readily accessi-
ble to at least one of your senses. If it’s less than 50%, you may not be reaching 7 out of 10 lis-
teners. Remember too that it’s easy to go overboard the other way. If it’s too concrete, it could be
bland and boring. That’s where adjectives go to work.
After you’ve identified each noun, ask yourself how many of the senses can perceive it. As a rule
of thumb, the more sensory paths you provide, the better chance you have of exciting a listener.
Every person has a primary sense, and it’s not the same for everyone, Although most people tend
to be visual, it should not be assumed that it is true for all people. A barstool can be seen and
touched—two sensory paths. But a squeaky barstool can also be heard…a third sensory path. If
you say “the leathery stink of a squeaky barstool”, you have now added a fourth sensory path to
barstool—you have added a new concrete reference, “stink”, with one sensory path i.e., smell.
“Leathery” as a well focused adjective which helps concretely define the nature of the stink. The

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phrase as a whole now has four sensory paths.
Look at all your sensory paths, and if you find yourself leaning too much toward any one sense –
unless that is your specific intent—then consider using some well-chosen adjectives to broaden
the appeal (Fader #3).

Beware of Wet Cement…It’s Not Really Concrete

Sometimes a reference seem to be concrete or seem to have multiple sensory paths, but is in fact
fooling you. Consider “She broke my heart”—‘Heart’ is a noun but if it’s a concrete reference
here, then you are dead and your girlfriend is capable of gory violence. The way it is used here is
not as the muscle that pumps blood, but as a substitute for a feeling. Also, the heart is not readily
accessible to any of your senses without a stethoscope, x-ray machine, or scalpel. If you’re writ-
ing about medical conditions, then it’s concrete.
How about: “He lost his wife, then he lost his marbles…” ‘Marbles” are the little round glassy
things that you can hold in your hand, so they’re concrete - but that’s not what is being refer-
enced here. In this case. ‘marbles’ refers to ‘sanity’ which is an abstraction. If something else-
where in the song set up some kind of semantic field for children’s games (tiddly-winks, jacks,
marbles) then the reference would work as a word with double-meaning. (See Chapter 15 on In-
tentional Ambiguity).
A highly sensory words is “fire” – sight, sound, smell, and feel. However, if you say “He’s got a
fire in his soul”, you are not referring to that sensory reference of flame. You are referring to
anger or passion or motivation – all abstract. When you use the Concrete-Abstract Test on your
songs, don’t fool yourself into believing you’re being concrete when you are using a word in an
abstract way. That’s wet cement.

Telescope, Microscope, or Just Eyeglasses : Scope it Out

Specificity is not the same as Clarity—If you create a lyric where most of the nouns are concrete,
is it going to communicate clearly? Consider this:
Your love is like a hot dog, a sprinkler on the lawn,
The withered grass is mustard, and can’t live when you are gone…
The rain clouds are your laughter; a galaxy’s, your hand
Our love was always constant like an ancient grain of sand.
All concrete references except “love”, but something’s not right. The final aspect to consider
here is that of scope. When trying to stay focused in your lyric, think of a zoom lens on a camera.
It can move in and out within a bounded range. It cannot span the entire spectrum between star-
studded galaxies and microscopic molecules, and neither should your song unless there is a clear
reason for doing so (e.g., your song is about contrast in sizes of things). In the example above,
the scope wanders from a grain of sand to a galaxy, without any compelling reason.
To stay as listener-friendly as possible, pick a range of focus, and then maintain the relationship
between that level of focus and the consistency of the references you use, while still staying in

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the semantic field, i.e. no mixed metaphors. If you write about apples, talk about Macintosh and
Delicious, but don’t talk about oranges. If you write about fruit, talk about apples and oranges,
but not about carrots. If you write about plants, write about fruits and vegetables, but not about
elephants (or write about lawns and grass, but not galaxies and grains of sand). Concrete refer-
ences and internal consistency of scope give you solid and effective lyrics, readily accessible to
your listeners.

Weight Plus Motion = Momentum: What About Verbs?

Concrete nouns and associated descriptive adjectives give weight to your words, but you can in-
crease the impact even more by creating momentum. It is a simple law of mechanics that weight
set in motion has momentum (it wants to keep on moving, and has impact potential). Using con-
crete nouns is essential, but you give them even more impact when you use sensually active
verbs (kinesthetic verbs for motion, and somaesthetic verbs for body sensations). Every concrete
noun brings along with it a set of verbs which could be used with it, either literally or metaphori-
cally. Consider the difference between:
(a) I stood there and watched her as she sat drinking at the bar
OR
(b) I twitched and tingled, my eyes reached to grab her, as her lips caressed
her glass.
These both portray the same scene, but version (a) has no motion at all – standing, watching and
sitting are all passive, non-active verbs. Boring! Version (b) has four kinesthetic (sense of move-
ment) verbs i.e., twitch, reach, grab, caress, and a somaesthetic verb (body sensation) i.e., tingle.
It changes the scene from a still-shot into a movie.
To Summarize:
Clarity and Specificity are two different parameters.
Use concrete nouns for specificity, and universal references for clarity
Enhance the sensory pathways of concrete nouns by using adjectives
Add impact and momentum with kinesthetic and somaesthetic verbs. Al-
ways think about how you can set your blocks of concrete into mo-
tion, and you’ll gain momentum and impact.
After applying the Concrete Test, look at your verbs for active/passive
balance.

Chapter 12: The Concrete-Abstract Balancing Act

Managing the Concrete-Abstract Balance in Metaphors
“There is plenty of courage among us for the abstract but not for the concrete.”—Helen
Keller

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 “We are all hungry and thirsty for concrete images.” – Salvador Dali
In choosing your words for a lyric, you’re setting a balance between the concrete and the ab-
stract; the sensory and the intuitive; the tangible and the conceptual. From the abstract realm of
ideas, a song gets its meaning, its message and it’s overarching metaphor. From the concrete
realm of the senses, a song gets its grounding in reality and its ability to be embraced by a main-
stream audience.
People are by preference either Sensors or iNtuitives (See Chapter 6). Unless a writer expends
the extra energy to access the less-preferred side of themselves, the resulting songs will either
lack conceptual coherence or be too conceptual and vague.
A key skill to help you rewrite a song for better balance is to recognize on which side of the con-
tinuum your current version lies. Use the Concrete Test as described in the two previous chap-
ters.
It seems simple but there are some deceptive words that can trip up writers who are very iNtu-
itive or who are not experienced at this type of analysis. Is the word “beauty” concrete or ab-
stract? It’s easy to say you can “see” beauty, so it’s concrete. However, this isn’t true… you
don’t “see” beauty; you interpret beauty. You see a face, lips, a flower, a sunset, and choose to
consider it beautiful, while someone else may see those same concrete things and not consider
them beautiful. What about “love”… is it concrete because you “feel” it? No, because love, like
beauty, is interpreted. An emotional-based feeling is not the same as the sensory sensation of the
tips of your fingers caressing concrete things like silk or velvet or sandpaper.
A tool to help you balance your lyrics is the S/N see-saw (see the diagram below). On one side,
make a list of references (nouns) that are clearly concrete. If you have a specific song idea,
choose words that might relate to that idea. On the right, make a list of abstractions. Take note of
which side is easier for you to develop. (If you have trouble with one side or the other, this indi-
cates you have a strong preference for one specific side and may benefit from a collaboration).
Then construct some metaphors using all concrete words, all abstract words, or one of each.
You’ll notice that the all-concrete metaphors won’t have any driving idea to weave them into a
coherent whole. The abstract metaphors will sound vague and spacey.
In order to use all-concrete metaphors, you’ll need an over-arching implied metaphor that trans-
lates the concept/message of your song into a down-to-earth reference that people can relate to.
In Terry Kirkman’s “Requiem For the Masses” (see Chapter 8), racism (abstract) is equated to a
bull (concrete) and our society (abstract) is equated to a matador (concrete). These are never
stated, but all the concrete references are tied together. When the matador turns his back to
please the crowd (three concrete references), it’s also saying that our society ignores racial injus-
tice to please an elite few (all abstract ideas). Shel Silverstein’s country classic “Queen of the Sil-
ver Dollar” equates a bar room (concrete) with a medieval court (abstract) and then, within the
established semantic field, uses concrete-to-concrete metaphors such as wine glass=scepter and
bar stool=throne.
The type of writing which is most difficult for a listener to understand is abstract-to-abstract
metaphor. It almost never works in mainstream writing. An exception to this is in spiritual or
Gospel tunes which can successfully remain in the abstract realm because of the nature of the
subject (i.e., God=love, heaven = joy, etc).

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When you are writing any song, ask yourself the three questions which sit atop the Anatomy of a
Song chart:
(a) What do I want to say?
(b) How do I want to say it?
(c) To Whom do I want to say it?
If you can’t clearly answer all three of those questions, it will be very difficult to write a lyric
that communicates effectively to a wide audience.
On the next page is an example of how to use the Sensory-iNtuitive See-Saw to help you con-
struct effective metaphors.

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A SENSORY-INTUITIVE (S/N) SEE-SAW of Simile and
Metaphor

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111
 SONGWRITING EXERCISE: A Method for Generating
Interesting Conceits and Consistent Semantic Field.
Based on the diagram above:
1. Write down a list of 20 or more abstract words that come to mind (love, sorrow, jealousy, in-
justice, friendship, rejection, math, poverty, etc). If you have trouble easily coming up with 20,
practice until you have a fluent vocabulary of abstractions. These are the things songs are about.
Make sure none of these are accessible to any of the five senses.
2. Write a list of 20 or more concrete words – anything accessible to at least one of the five
senses.
Things like: chair, hamburger, wine, flower, tree, onion, rain, sand, eggs, etc…
3. Decide from your abstract list what you might want to write about. Then pick any of the things
from the concrete list. Do NOT pick something that would be obvious, like “Love” and
“Flower”. Try for two things which, on the surface, don’t seem to have anything to do with each
other, for example, “Love” and “burnt toast”. Whatever pair you pick will be the conceit or over-
arching metaphor for the song. The concrete side of the equation sets the semantic field, in this
case, burnt toast. You now have a focus and semantic field. You now need to come up with the
hard part – an interesting vehicle that uses the semantic field of burnt toast (See chapters 5 and
14)
4. Write down as many words as you can think of, nouns, verbs, or adjectives, which relate in
any way to the concrete side of your metaphor. That becomes the vocabulary of the song. (char-
coal, smelly, charred, black, dark, crispy, dry, crunch, crumble. hot, smoking, bread, toaster,
heat, popup, scrape, butter, knife, etc….)
5. Look at your collection of words for potential rhymes, interesting phrases. Don’t just think of
one-word rhymes, but of potential multi-word rhymes and similar sounds (See the discussion in
chapters 21-22 on Phonetic Parameters).
—butter, cut her, mutter, ..but her…, flutter; better, bitter, batter; …bit of…;
—crunch, munch, lunch; crutch, crotch;
—toaster, …most. Her…, boaster, test her, taster, …tote her…;
—charcoal, …spark. Old…, dark hole; chuckle, charm school, sparkle, are cool;
—scrape, escape, crepe, drape scrap;
—charcoal, …spark. Old…, dark hole;
—heating coils, boils, roils, foils; eating, cheating
Now you have vocabulary to work with and hopefully you’ll start to get some ideas for how it
can start to tell a story or make a list.
6. If you’re going to tell a story, first just tell it as a narrative to make sure there is a who-what-
where-when-why-how. Decide what information needs to be in each section of the song. If
you’re going to do a list song, what is each item in the list relating back to? (Life without love is
burnt toast? A night making love with you makes me feel like burnt toast? My mother-in-law’s

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nagging voice is the silent scream of burning toast?) Pick just one thing.
7. Don your creative hat (don’t give a thought to craft or editing) and let things flow. By having
thought about all of the above, your creative flow will be more likely to stay within the frame-
work you’ve established.
8. When you have a page full of scribbles, then switch to your crafting hat and see what you need
to do to cut and polish the gem. Use all the tools and tests now at your disposal. (see the Quick
Guide to Songwriting Tools and Tests in Section III).
This process is totally flexible and things can be done in a different order or in a different way,
but when all is said and done, all the elements described here need to be addressed.
Experiment and have fun.

Chapter 13: The Vehicle: Mercedes or Edsel?

Managing the Focus and the Vehicle

“When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs. When images become inade-
quate, I shall be content with silence.”—Ansel Adams

What Do I Say and How Do I Say It?

At the top of the “Anatomy of a Song” chart (Chapter 2) sit two imposing elements: the focus
and the vehicle. There is a reason they are at the top of the chart – everything else in the song
acts in support of these things. The focus is the song’s core message—its “aboutness”. The vehi-
cle is the method you choose for conveying that message. One of the central choices a songwriter
makes is how to balance a universal message and specific, personal experiences.
As we pointed out in Chapter 7, a common weaknesses in songs is lack of clarity and specificity.
Quite often, a writer, having stumbled upon a good musical progression or catchy lyrical phrase,
will scramble to assemble a song around it, without first giving careful thought to what the song
is actually about, and how the intended message is going to be conveyed to listeners. The result-
ing effect on listeners at critique sessions is usually one of blurred incompleteness.
The questions “What do I want to say?” and “ How do I want to say it?” are two ever-present
questions in the realm of songwriting. Have you ever had someone say they have something to
tell you, ask for your attention, and then just ramble, never seeming to make a point? Do you
enjoy this experience? Without a clearly defined message and a well-thought-out method of pre-
senting it, a song will struggle to hold a listener’s attention.
Many writers who seem to be able to write a good song quickly have indicated that a great deal
of prior thought occurs before the song actually hatches out. It is a type of crafting which occurs
even before the creative process…a thought process which serves to focus the energy of the cre-
ativity which may follow. In the absence of this, the result of the creative process may be very
diffuse and require more revising and fine tuning afterward. Either way, before a song can be

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considered a finished and finely crafted product, it must have addressed those two key questions.

Hocus Focus, Show and Tell

The answer to “What do I want to say?”, is the focus. It is the main point of the song, usually a
message, concept, idea or emotion that the writer wants to share. There can only be a single idea
addressed in a song. With just a few minutes to develop an idea, trying to mix two or more mes-
sages would dilute the impact of each one. The same is true of the scope of the idea. A cosmic,
abstract concept like “What is the meaning of life?” can barely be answered in a philosophy book
of several hundred pages, let alone in a three minute song. The focus needs to be narrow and spe-
cific.
A song which attempts to show that “An important thing in life is _______ (fill in the blank with
“love”, “friends”, “family”, “money”), has a reasonable chance of succeeding in a three minute
format. Note that I said “attempts to show”, not tell. Don’t just tell the listener something about
an abstract idea like love, joy, sorrow, or loneliness. It’s far more effective to show it by the ac-
tions and descriptions of people, deeds, or concrete things To say “My soul is empty when
you’re gone” is an abstract image, because a hundred different people have a hundred different
perceptions of ideas like “soul” and “empty”, when used in this way. However, “My soul is an
empty bed” now provides a concrete reference to give sensory meaning to the concept of “soul”.
Besides being abstract, , “My soul is empty when you’re gone” has been said that way many
times before, because it’s easier to be vague than to be specific. To say “the bed’s a little bigger
when you’re gone” shows, reveals, and evokes the feeling rather than just telling. Most impor-
tantly, it conveys a great deal of information about the relationship between the singer and
singee, revealing that they have shared many tender, intimate moments together. Economy of
words is a key skill in songcrafting. The ability to convey lots of information by showing actions
and describing objects is what enables a complex idea to be clearly communicated in a three
minute song. (See also Chapter 16, “Writing in the Key of W”)
What makes a good focus for a song? The more universal it is, the better. Ideas like “What goes
around comes around”, “Look before you leap”, “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”,
“The rich get richer and the poor get poorer”, “Love conquers all”, etc. are all understood and ac-
cepted as general truisms. However, you need to find an original way to present them to raise
your songs above baseline clutter. This brings us to the second question, “How do I say it?”.
Once you know the point you want to make, you need to find a way of presenting it which is
original and clear. Many writers get entangled here by being too personal or introspective. Either
they require a degree of mind-reading on the part of a listener to understand what is being said,
or they don’t allow entry portals for the listener (Chapter 8).
To help you find the right balance, use the Stranger Test – if a stranger came up to you and
started saying what you are saying, would you have enough information or interest to invest
yourself in the interaction?
As easy as it is to be too vague, it is also easy to be too direct e.g.,:
When I’m sad I start to fall,
You pick me up, love conquers all”.

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This is clear, but drab and trite. It’s been said that way too many times. To find new ways to con-
vey old ideas, we need to explore the realm of cinema, so….

Welcome to the Movies

Think of a song as a three minute movie. There are pictures to be displayed, which in turn show
us the who, where, what, when and why of the story. Several movies all about the same idea
(e.g., “Love conquers all”) will all turn out very different if one changes the setting, the time
frame, the character types, etc. For example, the story told in “Coward of the County” takes
place in the present in a typical country or western setting. Suppose it was put to new music and
set in outer space a hundred years from now. Same message, but fresh perspective, because the
where and when have changed. The lyric imagery would have to change to suit the new setting.
Also important in cinema is the camera angle. One set of events can appear in many different
ways, depending on how it is being viewed. Are the events being observed by a male or female
or adult or child, and are they being seen firsthand, or being viewed on TV, read in the newspa-
per, recalled from memory, or being overheard in conversation? One idea or one set of events
can become many different songs, just by changing the things listed above, and each of those
songs can say the same thing in distinctly different ways.
Here is a complete example of this technique. Presented here are two lyrics, each about the exact
same events and feelings and the same two characters. The only difference is that the roles of
singer and singee are reversed between the two characters. The setting remains constant, i.e., a
19th century maritime town, and they are both simply ways of stating “love conquers all”.
Crest of a Wave (female sings to male) words and music by Bill Pere
You had salt water in your blood, you longed to be
Another Billy Budd, a sultan of the sea
I longed to be the one to break your fever,
But I couldn’t have begun to make you leave her;
She had more allure than I, so when they signed up a crew
You were first in line, there was nothing I could do;
You had to tame the tide, so you signed on
The sails billowed with your pride, and you were gone
You said you’d send me your love on the crest of a wave,
And the water wouldn’t keep us apart
I was blue sky, you were ocean, the horizon was our heart.
You said you’d send me your love on the crest of a wave,
But I wonder, “Do you think anymore
Of the love-struck lonely lady you left standing on the shore?”
It’s been almost a year, and I’ve not heard
In all the thunder of the sea, a single word,
I guess you took the sea by storm, and you don’t need
Someone like me to keep you warm, so I won’t plead
But if your harem is the waves, then what’s the good

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If they behave as fickle women would
One day they’ll be kind, but the next day they will kill
Though you’ve cast me from your mind, I love you still…
You said you’d send me your love on the crest of a wave,
And the water wouldn’t keep us apart
I was blue sky, you were ocean, the horizon was our heart.
You said you’d send me your love on the crest of a wave,
But I don’t think you think anymore
Of the love-struck lonely lady you left standing on the shore?”
Winter finds the ship’s yet not returned
Some fear it was wrecked
When the water churned like a mistress spurned,
But it was me who drowned, in your neglect…
You’re six months overdue, there’s no doubt anymore
I say goodbye to you as I walk along the shore
But then I see there in the sand, surrounded by debris
A scrimshaw by your hand, and the image there is me…
You said you’d send me your love on the crest of a wave,
And the water wouldn’t keep us apart
I was blue sky, you were ocean, the horizon was our heart.
You said you’d send me your love on the crest of a wave,
Now I know you thought evermore
Of the love-struck lonely lady you left standing on the shore…

The Other Side of the Wave (male sings to female) words and music by Bill Pere
I remember the night I first met you
You reminded me I had a heart.
It’s kind of hard for me to be gentle
Maybe it’s too late to start
I never had much practice with loving,
I mean the kind where you don’t have to pay…
This big tough old salt was just a scared little kid
When he found himself feeling that way…
People say I’ve got a mean-tempered mouth
I even swear in my sleep
But a couple of cuss words are easier to spit out
Than talkin’ ‘bout feelings down deep…
Somehow, you just saw right through it
And I needed I safe place to hide
So I signed up on a ship but before I sailed off
I told you what I felt inside…
I said I’d send you my love with day dawning

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That’s the promise I gave,
If you could see through the mist of the morning
To the other side of the wave
You’d see this sailor out standing and looking
At the ocean meeting blue sky
Two worlds far apart that make beauty together,
Not unlike you and I
I said I’d send you my love with day dawning
That’s the promise I gave
If you could see through the mist of the morning
To the other side of the wave
You’d see this sailor out standing and wishing
For each wave that this bow’s cuttin’ through
To send you a sign, spill my love at your feet,
So you know that I’m thinking of you…
We caught us a big whale this morning
Now I’m scratching some lines in a tooth
I hoped it would help me forget things
But this picture is telling the truth
I know I’m no kind of artist
But the lines are all finding their place
No matter what I want this picture to be,
It will end up being your face…
I said I’d send you my love with day dawning
That’s the promise I gave,
If you could see through the mist of the morning
To the other side of the wave
You’d see this sailor out standing and looking
At the ocean meeting blue sky
Two worlds far apart that make beauty together,
Not unlike you and I
The weather has been turning angry
There’s a dark, jealous sky up above
It’s funny what a man can learn about himself,
Cause I’m less scared of that than of love…
and I hear this old ship’s planks complaining
So if I don’t get to see you once more…
I hope that some day, some way, someone will know I love
That lady I left on the shore…
I said I’d send you my love with day dawning
That’s the promise I gave
If you could see through the mist of the morning
To the other side of the wave
You’d see this sailor out standing and wishing

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For each wave that this bow’s cuttin’ through
To send you a sign, spill my love at your feet,
So you know that I’m thinking of …
That love-struck lonely lady I left standing on the shore…
Here are two lyrics which tell the exact same story from two perspectives, thus they are two in-
dependent songs. There are even specific images which use the same metaphor, but say it in two
different ways:
I was blue sky, you were ocean
The horizon was our heart
This is the exact same statement as:
You’d see this sailor out standing and looking at the ocean meeting blue sky
Two worlds far apart that make beauty together, not unlike you and I.
Thus goal in a successful lyric is to take a very common idea and say it in an uncommon way.
Because so many songs have been written and are still being are written about the same topics, it
is almost impossible to write a fresh presentation without a cinematic approach. There are many
different ways to SHOW something, but very few ways to directly TELL it.
Here’s another example of two songs, written independently by two different writers, which both
have exactly the same focus. Both songs are about values, and convey the same message, i.e.,
material wealth cannot substitute for the happiness provided by love. Yet the two lyrics have
completely different cinema. One is set in the present and one is set in the 19th century. Each
song features a male and female character, but their relationships and backgrounds quite differ-
ent. The images and concrete references are appropriate to the respective settings.
Down on Easy Street words and music by Les Julian
Down on Easy Street, we drink fine champagne wine
Honey, you bathe in milk and wear your silk and jewels that shine
Down on Easy Street we drive those fancy cars
I get business hunches over liquid lunches in classy bars
Down on Easy Street, there’s nothing we can’t buy or sell
But it’s feeling like our little bit of Heaven’s turned into
A little bit of Hell
Down on Easy Street, our hearts are running dry
Loving only things money can buy
Down on Easy Street we thought living was easy as pie
But it’s so hard to hear a heart beat down on Easy Street…
Down on Easy Street I wear a three piece heart
I can mix and match if I have to act a part
Down on Easy Street you wear that fine mink stole
It keeps your shoulders warm but there’s a storm down in your soul
Down on Easy Street there’s nothing we can’t buy or sell
But it’s feeling like our little bit of Heaven’s turned into
A little bit of Hell

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 Down on Easy Street, our hearts are running dry
Loving only things money can buy
Down on Easy Street we thought living was easy as pie
But it’s so hard to hear a heart beat down on Easy Street…
Honey, lovin’ you is really all I need
Won’t you come with me and see where love will lead…

Wrought Iron Ring Words and Music by Bill Pere

The hammer stopped at the top of the stroke

as the blacksmith looked up from the doorway
Where the young woman waited and watched and he started to say
“I’m glad you weren’t hurt when your carriage wheel broke.
It won’t take too long to repair…”
But like the jewels that she wore, her eyes were just fixed in a stare
The afternoon sun shone off the silk in her dress
and the silver she wore on her ears
He wondered if it might be the soot that was causing her tears
He followed her gaze through the swirls of the smoke
to the photograph up on the shelf
Her eyes asked the question her voice wouldn’t ask by itself…
Who is that woman in the old photograph?
Though it’s faded and cracked, you can still hear the laugh
In that face out of focus, a poor artist’s portrait
An unsteady hand’s rendering
But captured with clarity there on her finger, a wrought iron ring…

He said “I’ve forged all the links of a hundred strong chains,

My father taught me to make things that last,
But I’ve never been able to find this one link to my past…
That’s a picture of the only woman my father loved,
He still would if he were living today,
But he was poor, she was rich, so her parents sent her away…
He loved that woman and he made her that ring,
All he could offer was a poor blacksmith’s life
Though he made her my mother, he never made her his wife…
She was made to marry a rich man that she didn’t love
She was told ‘Give it a chance for awhile’

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I know she found neither money nor time could buy her a smile”
Who is that woman in the old photograph?
Though it’s faded and cracked, you can still hear the laugh
In that face out of focus, a poor artist’s portrait
An unsteady hand’s rendering
But captured with clarity there on her finger, a wrought iron ring…

“Your carriage is fixed, it works good as new”

Then he told her how much it would be
She said “That’s quite fine, money doesn’t matter to me…”
It’s just something I have that doesn’t mean much,
I can spend it just once, and it’s gone…
It’s the dreams in your head and the love in your heart that live on…”
“That’s the one thing in life that my mother taught me,
and I’m reminded of that every day
By the one special thing that she gave me before she passed away”
As she went through her purse, he tended the forge
It grew hot as the fire was fanned
Then he felt his blood running cold as she held out her hand…
Who is this woman that he’d never met
Who shimmered in shadow as his eyes became wet?
She was a face out of focus, a poor artist’s portrait
An unsteady hand’s rendering
But captured with clarity there on her finger, a wrought iron ring…
Thus, two different writers convey exactly the same message, in totally different ways, by using
different elements of cinema. The images and objects mentioned are adjusted to fit the time and
place depicted. Same focus, different vehicles.
Yet another example can be found in two well-known songs: “Slipping Though My Fingers”,
written by Bjorn Ulvaeus and Benny Andersson, recorded by ABBA and enjoying further suc-
cess in the soundtrack of the musical “Mama Mia”; and “Tangled Up Puppet”, written and
recorded by Harry Chapin. Both songs deal concretely and emotionally with the issues of chil-
dren growing up and a parent’s feeling of losing touch with the child they once were close to.
Same focus, different vehicles.
In balancing universality and specifics, the key is that universality applies to the focus, the main
message of the song, while specificity applies to the vehicle, or method of conveying the mes-
sage. Specificity means referring to specific objects, people or places. It means providing clear
answers to who, what, where, when, why and how. The opening lines of virtually any classic hit
song directly address one or more of these things. In Billy Joel’s “Piano Man”
It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday, the regular crowd shuffles in

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There’s an old man sittin’ next to me makin’ love to his tonic and gin.
From this first couplet, we know the day and time, and without being directly told, we know the
setting is a bar with several patrons, and the singer is in the bar.
Being specific should not be confused with being too personal. This is the same principle as bal-
ancing control of your meaning while allowing for some personalization by the listener (Chapter
8). To say “My girl from Tennessee walked out on me” is fine, because it sets up a situation, and
“Tennessee” is a name familiar to almost everyone. Another way to convey this same sentiment
would be “She treated me rotten in Groton”, however, this is not going to have the same breadth
of appeal (except if humorous) because it uses a reference that is too personal. Most people have
never heard of the town of Groton. If you are niche-marketing to folks in regions where they are
likely to have heard of such a place (e.g. Connecticut or Vermont), then you may offset the nar-
row breadth of appeal with a greater depth of appeal. If you use a non-universal reference, then
you will have to use valuable additional lines to explain it, and those lines cannot then be used to
move your story along.
Let’s look at one more example of focus, vehicle, and tone constant semantic field. What are
more songs written about than anything else? Love, of course. There are many sides to love, so
let’s take the general truism that “a life filled with love is a life well lived.” Love is an abstrac-
tion, so we need a vehicle to make it concrete. We also need a way of presenting this common
truth that is not the same as millions of other love songs. Taking the conceit life=a movie/play
we will use this vehicle to convey what we want to say about love. The semantic field of movies
and plays is rich, so we have lots of words to use and supporting metaphors e.g., life=script;
loved one = co-star; events=scenes, death = fade to black. (The rhyme scheme is shown here for
later reference).
What Love Really Means words and music by Bill Pere

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Since I wrote this in 2005, it has been performed in front of diverse audiences in many parts of
the U.S. The feedback and ullage (Chapter 7) confirm that the song is working effectively and
generating appeal.
To Summarize: One of the keys to a successful lyric is to clearly define what you want to say
(the focus) and how you want to say it (vehicle). The focus should be a specific, universal truth,
topic, or experience. The vehicle should employ a combination of setting, time frame, characters,
motives, and situation (collectively called “cinema”) to allow a fresh presentation of the focus.
Avoid the vague language of cosmic, philosophical ideas and abstractions. Don’t just state your

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point in a preachy way. Reveal it by showing supporting events, actions and motivations of real-
istic characters. Refer to concrete objects and places that people know. Remember that 7 out of
10 people prefer to get information in a concrete rather than abstract way.

Chapter 14: Playing the Field

Managing Tone Constancy and Semantic Field
“All our work, our whole life is a matter of semantics, because words are the tools with
which we work, the material out of which laws are made, out of which the Constitution was writ-
ten. Everything depends on our understanding of them.”— Felix Frankfurter , American Jurist
“Tell me and I forget; Show me and I remember; Involve me and I understand.”—Robert
Wilson, motivational speaker

Along with the concrete/abstract balance, one of the most important tools for communicating ef-
fectively through lyrics is the concept of semantic field. It is this aspect of a lyric that determines
whether it appears focused and cohesive as opposed to diffuse and wandering. Most English
words have multiple meanings. The particular meaning intended is clarified for the receiver by
the other words preceding and following the key word.
For example the words “set” and “jack” each have more than 20 meanings. The sentences “That
set of Jack’s was the best tennis he’s ever played” and “This set of jacks is the child’s favorite
toy” are made clear only by the words other than set and jack. Those other words provide con-
text and define the semantic fields being used.
Key words in a lyric should stay with a single semantic field and not bounce around… i.e., if
you’re writing about apples as the semantic field, talk about Delicious, Macintosh, pies and cider
(and there might be some appeal from a peel…), but not oranges and pears. If you’re writing
about fruit (a broader semantic field), write about apples, oranges, and pears, not carrots, celery,
and turnips. If you’re writing about edible plants (a still broader semantic field) then you can mix
apples, oranges and carrots, but not poison ivy or redwood trees. If you’re writing about all
plants…well, you get the idea.
We’ve said that the semantic field is defined by the main metaphor of the song, and straying out-
side that semantic field essentially means you’re mixing metaphors, which generally dilutes the
impact of your lyric. So it’s not enough just to balance concrete and abstract references, but they
should all be consistent within the context defined by the governing metaphor of the song.
Of course we have exceptions. There is a technique where it is highly desirable to switch seman-
tic fields in midstream… this is the essence of punning, irony, and related wordplay. It can be the
source of memorable titles and lyrical hooks. The hook from the George Jones hit, written by
Tammy Wynette, G. Tubb, and D. Lindsey, “We live in a two-story house” is an example. By it-
self, this sentence places “story” in the semantic field of “words relating to houses and build-
ings”. But the rest of the lyric, dealing with deception and cheating, creates a semantic field
where “story” means a lie or deceitful tale. Switching semantic fields can be done locally (within
a line or verse) or globally (from one verse to another).

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In my song “Time Machine” about going back in time to change the mistakes in your life, the
line “An hour, a minute, a second chance” uses “second” simultaneously in two ways, both of
which are embodied in the premise of the song (time, and correcting mistakes). This is the key
point… it is not good writing to use double meanings just to be clever; Both meanings of a word
must be fully supported by the logic and flow of the song and the lyric must contain words from
both semantic fields.
This creates a no-lose situation for you—the listener gets two chances to hear it right, and if they
only get one of the two, it still makes sense, because other parts of the lyric are supporting the
meaning. If they get both meanings, they appreciate your crafting that much more. Here’s an-
other example from one of my early songs, “You Make Me Believe in Me”, which I’ve presented
to many sounding boards. I always watch their expressions to see if they’re “getting it”.
Ten thousand faces, I see only yours
I hear your heartbeat over all the applause
You are my shining sun, but everybody thinks it’s me who’s the star
It’s you who helped me get this far…
The word “star” has both meanings clearly referenced in the rest of the verse (e.g. ‘ap-
plause’/’sun’).
It takes practice and craft to do this effectively, and here is one of the very best examples, written
by Greg Ham and recorded by Men at Work on their album “Puttin’ In Overtime”.
Snakes and Ladders
I could stand but I don’t like the feeling
I could fall but I’m always on the floor
You can make a million staring at the ceiling
You can break your back and still be poor
One for the liar, one for the cheat
One for the man who you’ll never meet
He saw the action and a portion of pie
He’ll be there waiting when your big chance comes by
There a snake at the top of every ladder
Who will tell you that he’s your best friend
Everyone important needs an adder,
But subtraction gets you in the end..
One for the liar, one for the thief
One for the man who’s time is so brief
He saw the action and a portion of pie
He’ll be there waiting when your big chance comes by
This whole song converges at that one key word in verse 2, “adder”, which is a kind of snake,
and which is also used in the math sense of an accountant who adds up your money. The snake
reference is supported immediately before the word, and the math reference is supported imme-
diately after (“subtraction”).

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Fader # 2 (craftsmanship) is set high in this song, so let’s look at some of the craft elements of
this lyric: The title immediately sets up the song premise, that when you climb the ladder of suc-
cess, there are people waiting to prey on you to get a piece of your pie instead of one of their
own.
The title is a common phrase based on the name of the popular children’s game (also known as
“Chutes and Ladders”). The chorus explicitly supports the premise, and sets up both semantic
fields for the key word to follow. Notice the technique of slightly changing the chorus the second
time around to balance the familiar with the new. The second verse is a shining example of lyric
craft. Not only does it effectively switch semantic fields, but the word it pivots on, “adder”, is an
unusual, fresh and memorable word., and is part of a perfect rhyme pair (adder/ladder) The
“snake” reference is literal and concrete while the “accountant” reference is figurative and ab-
stract (numbers and math are abstractions).
The rhyming partner for this key word is “ladder”, also used in two fully supported ways: Liter-
ally, in the game Snakes and Ladders, there are in fact pictures of ladders on the game board.
Figuratively, we all know the concept “climbing the ladder of success”.
This is an excellent lyric, and it is of note that contrary to conventional wisdom, the title here is
NOT the first or last line of the chorus. Why? Because it instead centers on the semantic pivot,
the adder, and its rhyming pair, the ladder, and, as mentioned above, is itself a well known
phrase. It’s a prime example of not following a guideline for a good reason.
Thus, once you’ve gotten a handle on balancing concrete and abstract references, you can turn
your attention to semantic fields, first to insure consistency of the metaphors you use, and then
for seasoning your songs with wordplay that enhances the communication effectiveness of your
lyric. And if it all works out, you’ll have to hire an adder of your own…but watch out for adders.

Chapter 15: Intentional Ambiguity Achieving Duality Without Confusion

“There is no greater impediment to the advancement of knowledge than the ambiguity of
words.”—Thomas Reid, author
Perhaps it is no coincidence that the word ‘words’ is an anagram of ‘sword’. Well-used
words cut through ambiguity and confusion like a sharp sword in the hands of an expert swords-
man” — Anu Garg, author and founder of wordsmith.org

We’ve spent several chapters discussing the Why’s and How’s of specificity and clarity. So is
there ever a time when you would want to be ambiguous and have that be a good thing? In the
preceding chapter we looked at “Snakes and Ladders” and how the word “adder” has two com-
pletely different interpretations, both of which are fully supported by the rest of the lyrics.

Intentional Ambiguity and Irony

While leaving a lyric “open to interpretation” is generally not recommended, there are times
when intentional ambiguity can be very effective. There is a distinct difference between being

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overly vague as opposed to being intentionally ambiguous: Excessive vagueness means that a
hundred listeners would probably arrive a hundred different interpretations of what you mean,
with no guarantee that any of them are right. That would mean you have not connected with the
listeners. An effective use of ambiguity would result in a hundred listeners coming up with per-
haps only two different interpretations, with either of them being perfectly consistent with your
intended meaning. Since, with effectively used ambiguity, listeners will be likely to hear both
possible meanings, those meanings must somehow reinforce each other and each make logical
sense.
Let’s look now at some specific tools for effectively using ambiguity, and examples of how and
how not to use them. Just as the key words in our discussion of lyrical clarity were conceit (a
controlling metaphor) and tone constancy (consistent supporting images), our key word here is
semantic pivot. As the name implies, a semantic pivot is a word or phrase which can have more
than one meaning, thus a listener’s interpretation can pivot at that point in a lyric. Well used, it
significantly enhances your lyric, but improperly used, it can cause an otherwise good lyric to
fail. You are probably familiar with the various types of semantic pivots, but might not have
thought of them in this way before. Let’s look at them:

Semantic Pivots: Homophones and Homomorphs

Semantic pivots include two types of homonyms: homophones and homomorphs, and their ex-
tensions, puns, and double entendres. Homophones (sometimes themselves called homonyms)
are words which are spelled differently but sound the same, like “cymbal” and “symbol”. Homo-
morphs are words which have multiple meanings for a single spelling and pronunciation (e.g.,
jack); When you hear a homophone in a lyric, you can’t see it’s spelling, so your interpretation of
which version the writer means must be derived from the lines around it. The safest, though most
difficult use of a homonym is to make both interpretations equally valid, so that it doesn’t matter
which version the listener’s ear chooses.
The line “drums were his heartbeat, and the shining brass disc, a symbol of his rhythm…”
shows that whichever meaning one chooses to hear for symbol/cymbal, it will make enough
sense either way so that listeners will not stop in confusion if they hear “cymbal” instead of
“symbol”. The rest of the lyric would need to support both meanings, otherwise it’s just clever-
ness without clear purpose.
If a song were titled “The Wale of the Ancient Captain”, I would bet that many people, upon
hearing, and not seeing the title, would think quite logically that it was about a sailor’s pet sea
mammal (whale). Others might believe, also quite logically, that it was about the mournful cry of
an old sailor (wail). Probably very few would, as their first choice, assume it was about ship
planks of an old sailor, (wale) or about his twilled pants (also wale). Thus, the use of ‘wale’ in a
title like this is not a good choice, since the different interpretations do not inherently comple-
ment each other.
Consider this humorous verse :
My stomach growls and gurgles
Like clockwork, hear the chime
Herbs and spices make it turn,

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Always right on time
“Time” is supported by the surrounding context (‘clockwork’) but if the ears should hear the less
common “thyme” (a culinary herb), it’s still appropriate, supported by ‘herbs and spices’.
Homophones allow for cleverness but can be very confusing. If you heard the line:
“She was bald and she bawled as she was blackballed.”
you would have no clue as to what was meant without a lot of very precise context to set up all
three homophones in that line.
Thus the key to effectively using a homonym is to make sure the surrounding context either:

a) makes it absolutely clear which version of the word you mean, OR

b) supports either interpretation of the word.

If your lyric does not lend itself to that, then do not use the homonym, or re-work the lyric. Al-
though a lyric is like a writer’s child, it is a child which should be heard and not seen. Always
operate under the assumption that your words are being heard and not read.
The word “jack” is a prime homomorph. It has more than twenty meanings, such as a playing
card, a tool for changing flat tires, a piece from a children’s game, a receptacle for the end of a
guitar cable, etc. Another such word is “set”, also with more than twenty meanings. It is obvious
that anytime a word like this is used in a lyric, the intended meaning must be made crystal clear
by the words which come immediately before or after.
If the first line of a song is “It was the last set…” then the next line had better provide the needed
context for a listener to know whether the singer is talking about tennis, playing the last part of a
club gig, or a store owner who sold his last batch of silverware. If you are specific about what
meaning the word is supposed to have, then you are locking the semantic pivot, i.e., you are re-
moving it’s ability to swing to a different interpretation. In many cases, this will be what you
want, but suppose you intentionally want to use a homonym to convey a double meaning? Sim-
ply using a word with two possible meanings does not guarantee a positive effect in a lyric. In
fact, it’s more often the opposite. To work positively, you must insure that either interpretation of
the word will be consistent with what you intend to convey. For some homonyms this may occur
easily, for example:
I was happy in that hopeful time
When the promises of youth’s bright clime/climb
Gave me wings to touch the sky
And hunger to ask how and why…
In this verse, written by two fourteen year old boys, the word actually used is clime, meaning cli-
mate, but the more commonly known word is climb, which is probably what most listeners
would interpret. While they have two clearly different meanings, either one is perfectly appropri-
ate in the given context, i.e., the bright climate of youth, or the ascension (climb) of youth to
adulthood.
Another example of this type occurs in the song we discussed earlier by Terry Kirkman, “Re-

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quiem for the Masses” (See Chapter 8). Here, the semantic pivot is “masses”, which can be inter-
preted to mean either the Catholic church ceremony, or the population of a country. Either inter-
pretation is well supported in the lyric.
In most cases however, the dual meanings of semantic pivots will cause confusion unless you,
the writer, make some sensible connection to both meanings in the nearby parts of your lyric.
You can do this two different ways, to achieve two different effects. If you refer to only one of
the meanings before using the pivot and then the other meaning after the pivot, you cause the
word to act like a hinge which swings the listener through a door.
In the phrase “the hard rock bottom of my heart”, from the like-titled hit song by Hugh Prest-
wood, the pivot is “rock”. Preceded by “hard”, it causes you to interpret it as rock music, but as
soon as we hear the word “bottom”, the interpretation swings to the other meaning, where “rock
bottom” means low as it can go. The little ‘ping’ that this swing causes in your brain is like a
positive shot of stimulant (as opposed to confusion, which is negative stimulant). It keeps your
attention and makes you remember the line, because it made you feel something, even if only
subconsciously
Another example exactly like this one is the song title “Lone Star State of Mind”, by Fred
Koller, or “New York State of Mind”, by Billy Joel, both pivoting on “state”. (Incidentally, CSA
critique sessions have seen “California, You’re Just A State of Mind”, and “New York, You’re A
Cold State of Mind”). I recommend letting this particular semantic pivot get a long, undisturbed
rest – i.e a ‘state’ of hibernation.
The other method of connecting the pivot to your lyrics is to provide both meanings before you
use the key word. This way, when the lyric hits the pivot point, the listener gets a double jolt of
stimulant right at that moment instead of the slower process of ‘swinging’ the meaning across
more beats or measures. For example, going back to “You Make Me Believe in Me”:
Ten thousand faces, I see only yours
I hear your heartbeat over all the applause
You are my shining sun, though everybody thinks it’s me who’s the star
It’s you who helped me get this far
In this verse, the semantic pivot is “star” and the dual meanings are both referenced before the
word comes up. The first two lines set up the interpretation of “star” as a successful entertainer,
and the word “sun” provides the second interpretation. However, even if the listener does not
perceive the double meaning, either interpretation by itself is consistent with the information
being unfolded in the verse. The listener does not have to stop in confusion. Watching listeners’
faces as I presented this song at two critique sessions showed several smiles right at that point,
indicating that the word was achieving its intended purpose.
The following excellent example was presented at a critique session more than 20 years ago. It
was so distinctive that I remember it to this day, although I can’t recall the writer.
I force the window open
It had been closed for months
I wonder where the time went
I had a handle on it once…

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The semantic pivot is the entire fourth line, keying on the word “handle”, a homomorph. The
first two lines provide the connection for the literal meaning, that there used to be a handle on the
window, and the third line is the connection for the meaning of “being in control of or on top of
something”, as in “I used to have a handle on where time went”. Again, the most important ele-
ment is the fact that even if a listener does not see both meanings, either one alone is satisfying,
because there is a place to which it can logically refer.
Another great example of a song based on a semantic pivot is James McMurtry’s “We Can’t
Make it Here”. The figurative meaning of not being able to be successful in life (“make it”) is
the overall premise of the song, and the lyric has specific concrete examples of jobs being lost
because everything we used to manufacture (“make”) is now imported, thus we also literally
“can’t make it here” any more, as shown in these four lines:

Now I’m stocking shirts in the Wal-Mart store

Just like the ones we made before
’Cept this one came from Singapore
I guess we can’t make it here anymore
Natural extensions of semantic pivots are puns and double entendres. One type of pun results
from the humorous use of a dual interpretation, usually playing a less expected meaning against a
more common one (“She Joined the Choir to Try Out Some New Hims”). A double entendre is
any phrase which can have a second meaning, but it does not necessarily have to be humorous
and it often has a risqué connotation (e.g., “Little Richard’s Getting Bigger All the Time”).
Country songs frequently use semantic pivots as puns. The phrase “I’m in a Country Club” uses
the dual nature of “country” to contrast the rich connotations of a country club with the grass-
roots images of down-home country folk. “We live in a two story house” uses the homomorph
“story” to pivot between the literal meaning of a house with two floors, and the figurative mean-
ing of someone not telling the truth. The title “Undercover Angel” uses a double entendre, where
undercover means “secret” (coupled with the similar sounding angel/agent) and also refers to
“under the bed covers”. In all cases, the rest of the lyrics support both meanings.
Let’s look at this verse from “At the End of the Day”, with lyrics by Herbert Kretzmer, from the
musical “Les Miserables”:
Have you seen how the foreman is fuming today
With his terrible breath and his wandering hands?
It’s because little Fantine won’t give him his way
Take a look at his trousers, you’ll see where he stands.
This short verse utilizes many of the principles discussed thus far. In terms of its content, it is
context-dependent, in that it presupposes certain situational knowledge by the listener, but this is
natural for a show tune. This is a song sung by the poor workers at the end of a workday, and
Fantine is a woman fancied by the foreman. The title itself is a double entendre, with a literal and
a colloquial meaning. “At the End of the Day” is exactly what the song depicts at its surface
level, but “at the end of the day” is also a British conversational expression equivalent to the
American term “bottom line” or “when all is said and done”. Both meanings are fully supported
by the song.

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In line one, the word “fuming” is a semantic pivot, a homomorph, where line two provides a ref-
erence to reeking breath, and line three is a reference to anger, the other sense of “fuming”. If the
listener picks only one meaning, there is no confusion, since both are supported. Finally, the
triple entendre in line four is priceless. “You’ll see where he stands” pivots between:

(a) the meaning referenced by lines 1-3 about the foreman’s attitude
(b) the literal meaning that where a person’s legs are determines where he is
standing;
(c) the risqué meaning made clear by the reference to his lust and the bulge in
his trousers.
All this in only four lines. Fader #2 is set high.

Semantic pivots can also occur on words which are neither homonyms nor homomorphs. It is
possible to set up situation where a word can refer to either of two situations different enough so
that what it makes the listener think of can go in two directions, even though actual meaning of
the words is the same in either case. Consider this verse-chorus example:
Sunlight shines of my face, I feel your hand, O Lord
Moonglow lights up this place, the feeling’s grand, O Lord
Raindrops, falling from space to feed the land, O lord
This world spins by your grace, I understand, O Lord
Worlds spin through creation and birth
Children shall Inherit the Earth
Help us leave a legacy worth what they deserve…
Look at the words “creation and birth”. Do they refer to the biological act of procreation, or do
they refer to the Biblical book of Genesis? Preceding the phrase and throughout the verse, are
references to “worlds” and “space”, which support the Genesis interpretation, along with the Bib-
lical title “Inherit the Earth”. Immediately following is the reference to “children” and “legacy”,
which supports the procreation interpretation. Since both are supported, there is logical sense ei-
ther way. Remember, the goal here is duality without confusion.
A well known use of this technique in a realm other than songs is the popular TV medical drama
“Gray’s Anatomy”. It’s logically interpretable two ways, both of which make perfect sense: (a)
the title of one of the best known medical reference books; (b) the physical body of the main
character whose name is Gray.
One last example from one of the very first critique sessions I ever participated in. A song was
presented with a line about “an old bluesman in the background wandering from bar to bar”. I
mentioned that the image of a down-and-out musician spending the night drinking in different
establishments seemed out place with the rest of the song. The writer was quite upset that I didn’t
realize she meant the musician was improvising music (wandering from bar to bar, i.e. musical
measure to measure). “Bar” was an unsupported semantic pivot. No supporting context, no un-
derstanding.

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Klang Association
(also discussed as a Sonic Parameter in Chapter 21)

Klang association refers to the effect where the sound of a word triggers association with all
other words in your vocabulary that sound similar in some way. It is discussed in detail by
Richard Lederer in his book “Crazy English” (Simon and Shuster 1990), in Chapter 5, “The
Sounds of English”.
A common trap in lyric writing is to create a semantic pivot when you really don’t want one.
That is to say, you wish to convey one specific meaning, but something is unintentionally left
open to an alternate interpretation. An memorable example from a critique session was a song
called “You Have the Right to Remain”. The writer intended the song to support the face value
meaning of the title, with no intention of referring to the common phrase “you have the right to
remain silent…” The lyrics supported only the first meaning, with absolutely no reference to the
second. Because the alternate meaning is such a well-known phrase, heard on every TV police
show, it was virtually impossible for many listeners not to be confused or let down when the
meaning they expected was not supported. This was an example of klang association, where cer-
tain words are so closely connected with certain other words or ideas, that to hear one automati-
cally triggers the association with the other. Hence the name klang, like the sound of a bell going
off. Perhaps the writers might at least have called the girl in the song “Miranda”.
The key here is not just the fact that only one meaning was supported, but that it was the mean-
ing less likely to be interpreted by a listener and the song was intending to be serious. Supporting
only a less common interpretation is fine, and even encouraged as a humorous device, since this
is a major element of a good pun. However, if done in a serious lyric, you need to be acutely
awareness of how your listeners will react. They cannot read your mind to divine your meaning.
In a serious song, it is lyrical suicide to use any kind of word or phrase that has dual meaning,
unless you are going to either :

a) support both interpretations in the lyric;

b) support the more common interpretation if one is clearly a primary mean-
ing over the other.
When Smokey Robinson wrote:
If you feel like lovin’ me, if you got the notion,
I second that emotion.
The klang of ‘second the motion’ creates a semantic pivot on ‘emotion’, and both meanings are
supported: ‘lovin me’ supports hearing ‘emotion’ and ‘If you feel like’ and ‘if you got the no-
tion’ support the meaning of agreeing with an action as in ‘I second the motion’.
Another example from a CSA critique session: A song called “Switch Hitter” was about a cheat-
ing husband (switching between two women). The song used baseball images, throughout which
is good, since that commonly springs to mind when the phrase “switch hitter” is heard. To have
tried to build this lyric with no reference to baseball would have probably doomed it to failure.
However, the song could have been about an angry electrician who assaults light switches, and in

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that case, the lyric could succeed while never even mentioning a baseball image. This of course
is a humorous situation, employing both “switch” and “hitter” as two semantic pivots.
Some other examples of klang associations from the critique archives: The song “Peonies
Envy”, by Les Julian, about a woman who covets the flowers in the male singer’s flower “bed”
has delighted many audiences. It totally supports both, the literal meaning, and the risqué double
entendre. Another lyric, entitled “The Star-Spangled Bandana” was a country-western tune
about a cowboy going away who gives his love a star-spangled bandana to remember him. The
lyric made no acknowledgement of the fact that the phrase inevitably conjures up thoughts of the
U.S. national anthem. Although the lyric was structurally solid, the unsupported klang associa-
tion was too strong, and thus distracted and disappointed many listeners.
Like any of the other tools described here, klang association can be a very positive device when
employed at the right time in the right way. (For more on Klang Association, see Chapter 21)

Irony
Highly desirable in a lyric is the use of irony; the ‘ping’ that occurs when a tale takes an unex-
pected yet entirely fitting turn of events. Irony is a preferred lyric device for writers with an
“NT” communication preference, as described in Chapter 6. There are three paths to creating
irony:
(1) Support one of two equal interpretations during the first part of a lyric, then switch to the
other at the end, for an unanticipated twist. Often, this is done by starting off with a figurative
meaning and then switching to a literal one. Look back at the lyrics for the song “Tatterde-
malion”, presented in Chapter 7.
In the first two choruses, the last line is obviously figurative, in that a ship can’t literally wear its
sails like a gown. But in the third chorus, that same line now does have the literal meaning, as the
ship is in fact wearing a gown on the mast. Since the choruses are exactly identical all three
times, it is the supporting context of the verses that engineers the pivot in perception between the
two meanings. This achieves the desired irony, as has been repeatedly demonstrated by watching
audience reaction in live performance.
Another prime example of the figurative-literal type of semantic pivot, written by Rob Crosby
and Stephanie Bentley, is the classic “Concrete Angel”. In this song, a stoic little girl (i.e. a figu-
rative concrete angel) masks the hurt of the abuse she endures at home, and when she finally
dies, her grave is marked by a literal concrete angel. The exact same technique is used by Jason
Carroll in his hit song “Alyssa Lies”. “Lies” initially refers to the little girl hiding the truth about
her abuse (literal) and at the end she dies and “lies” with Jesus (figurative).
These examples show a shift between figurative and literal meanings of a word/phrase. But the
same technique of a word/phrase changing meaning as a song progresses can be done without
necessarily changing between a figurative and literal meaning.
In the memorable lyric of Jim Morgan, “Higher Than She’s Ever Been Before”, the use of
“high” shifts among its figurative meanings. In the first three verses, the title refers to the eu-
phoric “high” that comes first from lofty expectations, and then from drugs. As the girl dies from
a drug overdose in verse four, another shift in meaning occurs as the lyric says

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If God is great and good and really truly understanding
Then she’s higher than she’s ever been before
In the song “Rings” written by Eddie Reeves and Alex Harvey and recorded by Cymarron, the
word “ring” is always literal, but changes meaning as the song progresses, from a telephone ring,
to a doorbell, to a ring around the sun, and a wedding ring. The surrounding context always gives
the listener enough information to know that the meaning has switched.
(2) The second method for achieving irony is to set up a situation in the song involving persons
or objects, and then reverse them at the end. A classic example of this in the realm of short sto-
ries is O’Henry’s “The Gift of the Magi”, where a husband sells his watch to buy his wife a
comb while she is selling her hair to by him a watch chain. For lyrical examples of this type of
irony, see any of these Harry Chapin songs:

(a) “Mercenaries” which explores an encounter between the two old-

est professions in the world, prostitution and soldiering, to
an ironic conclusion;
(b) “Dirt Gets Under the Fingernails”, about a messy mechanic hus-
band and a frustrated artistic wife who exchange roles;
(c) “Get On With It”, where a guy wants to quickly hop into bed but
the girl says “Let’s take it slowly”. Then the girl want to
break up quickly and the guy now says “Let’s take it
slowly”.
(3) Create an illustration of the principle “what goes around comes around”. For well-crafted ex-
amples of this method of achieving irony in lyrics, see “Laspitch”, by Jimmy Webb; “The Red
Corvette”, by John McCutcheon; “Odd-Job Man” and “The Mayor of Candor Lied”, both by
Harry Chapin. All are well crafted, engaging stories with unexpected twists at the end that clearly
demonstrate “what goes around comes around”.

Phonetic Ambiguity
In addition to what we have discussed so far, there are also phonetic ambiguities, which can in-
troduce unwanted misinterpretations into your lyrics. These will be discussed further in the next
section dealing with phonetic parameters of lyrics. A phonetic duality occurs when some combi-
nation of sounds in an uncommon word or phrase sounds similar to a more common word or
phrase. The general term for phonetic ambiguity is “oronym” (also sometimes called “monde-
green”) In a serious song, any phonetic ambiguity is undesirable, but it is frequently employed
when puns are intended.
A mishearing occurs when the intended phrase is less common than the incorrectly heard one. If
you said that you were going to Lun Guyland to see Guylem Bardo, everyone would believe you
were going to Long Island to see Guy Lombardo, even if you really meant it the other way. If
you were going for drinks at a place called DeBronk’s, an Easterner would think you were going

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to the Bronx, while a Denver native might think you were beating your hooves to see the football
Broncos.
People hear what is most common for their own frame of reference. Thus, you as the writer must
work very hard to clearly define the frame of reference that you want. The best thing to do with
phonetic dualities is to avoid them (again, unless you’re trying to be humorous). But if they are
there and you can’t lead the listener to just one interpretation, then just as with homonyms, sup-
port of either interpretation will allow the lyric to work.
In Randy Newman’s tongue- in cheek-spoof “Short People”, the line “short people ain’t got no-
body” could also be heard with equal sense as “short people ain’t got no body”. Either is consis-
tent with the rest of the words in the song. The primary causes of phonetic duality are:

(a) —incorrect white space as in Guylem Bardo (see the discussion of White
Space in Chapter 19);
(b) —particular combinations of word end sounds and the following word
beginning sound e.g., “the focused ring” “or the focus string”;
(c) —lax enunciation of one of two generally similar words (regimen/regi-
ment, immolate/emulate, hat/had, batter/badder). There are two ways
to avoid phonetic duality: one is to avoid the use of odd phrases like
“Where is the chorus strong”, heard at a critique session as “where is
the chorused wrong”, which made no sense. Another instance from a
critique session was “Your love incites me”, which was inevitably
heard as “your love excites me”.
Aside from eliminating unintended phonetic dualities, it also helps to have a top-notch vocalist
who knows how to enunciate. Many contemporary vocalists use the “bovacaine” style of singing
– i.e. as if they’ve had simultaneous shots of Novacaine and Botox, and thus have little muscular
control over their mouth, resulting in a labored mumble. It may be trendy as a mode of expres-
sion and attitude, but it does not do anything to enhance communication or to demonstrate vocal
skill.
Clear pronunciation of words eliminates any confusion, but it is easier said than done. In the
“chorus strong” example above, a vocalist would have to clearly put a stop between the words
i.e., “chorus/stop/strong”. A phrase like “reached to take care” would have to be rendered as
“reached/stop/to take-eh-care”, or else you hear “reach to take hair”. This clearly requires an ac-
robatic mouth, and while it is possible, it is not desirable if your intent is to pitch the song to a
vocal artist.
In general, one of the important roles to be filled when getting a song ready for performance or
recording is the role of vocal coach, whose job it is to help the vocalist convey the words clearly.
It takes fine detail of enunciation to make certain phrases clear enough for a listener to find an-
swers – or is that “two fine dancers”?
It is much easier to consciously introduce semantic pivots into your lyrics than it is to be aware

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that there might be one where you don’t want it. As the writer, you know what you mean, and it
is easy to overlook the fact that a word can be interpreted by a listener in a way other than what
you intend. This is one of the most difficult elements to self-analyze, because it doesn’t show up
when you examine the structure of the lyrics, and no matter how many times you read over the
words, you may never see the unintended interpretation, since you always know what you mean.
This is one of the greatest benefits of song critiquing in groups, and the role of the Sounding
Board. Unintended semantic pivots always get flushed out when half the room understands the
song and the other half doesn’t, because of some alternate meaning that was given to a word or
phrase. In decades of monthly critique sessions, hardly one has gone by without some song har-
boring an unintended semantic pivot.

Unambiguous Ambiguity
There is one final aspect to discuss on the topic of ambiguity. What about a song like The Beat-
les’ “I Am the Walrus”? Here, the ambiguity and fog is totally consistent throughout the song.
There are no parts anywhere which are clear. Thus, you as a listener realize the writer’s intent is
perhaps to challenge, to tease, or to provoke speculation.* Either that, or the writer really doesn’t
care about communicating with you. This intentional ambiguity is clearly unclear and if the in-
tentional unclarity is clear then it is not ambiguous. Is that clear?
To rephrase that, like all the other elements of good songwriting we have discussed, the key to
effective use of a technique is consistency. Either be totally clear, or totally unclear, but do not
mix. And I must quickly add here that I don’t recommend the deliberate total ambiguity ap-
proach for mainstream songwriting. Any song of this type which is successful is a rare exception
and usually relies on the popularity of the artist.
Also, it’s too easy to try to write this way as an excuse for not being able to develop a clear lyric.
Master the art of clear communication first, and then play with trying to develop clearly ambigu-
ous (an oxymoron..) lyrics if you wish. In the psychedelic sixties, it was more prevalent in the
mainstream, and lives on in some hard rock corners of the musical spectrum.
*NOTE: As reported in Wikipedia and Songfacts.com, Beatles biographer Hunter Davies,
present while “Walrus” was being written, wrote in his 1968 book that the intent was in
fact to write something that would provoke analytical speculation while really meaning
nothing. The song is a John Lennon amalgam of unrelated references and ideas from dis-
parate sources, including two acid trips, three unfinished songs, and Lennon’s own misun-
derstanding of the Lewis Carroll walrus character in “Through the Looking Glass.”
Like any of the other songwriting tools and techniques presented here, these techniques will,
with enough practice, become part of your writing instincts. Just as some people can sponta-
neously rattle off strings of puns, the instinct for double meanings and associations can be devel-
oped and honed. Eventually, you will be able to write a lyric, guided only by your gut feelings,
and then analyze it find that you have effectively incorporated many effective double meanings.
Also, you’ll become much more sensitive to the subtle unwanted words and phrases that sneak in
during your creative spurts, and know how to get rid of them.
To Summarize: The controlled use of ambiguity in lyrics can greatly add to effectiveness of
your song. A word or phrase which can have more than one interpretation is called a semantic

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pivot. To avoid any chance of listener confusion, both meanings of key word or phrase should be
supported in the lyrics, or one meaning should be supported so as to preclude the other. Because
it is difficult to detect unwanted semantic pivots, third-party critiques of a song are an effective
way to flush them out.
Say what you mean and mean what you say. If you are going to have a word, phrase, or situation
which can have multiple meanings, be sure they are ALL supported by the rest of the song. To
achieve this successfully is to give many more listeners many more entry points into your song.
If you cannot clearly support multiple meanings, then eliminate the ambiguity. Don’t try to be
clever just for the sake of cleverness.

Chapter 16: Writing in the Key of W

Managing the Cinema

“Where am I? Who am I? How did I come to be here? What is this thing called the world?
How did I come into the world? Why was I not consulted? And If I am compelled to take part in
it, Where is the director? I want to see him.” – Soren Kierkegaard, Philosopher

Having looked at Concreteness and Intentional Ambiguity, let’s now address Specificity, one of
prime sources for grabbing and holding listener attention. Specificity is not the same as clarity –
Clarity refers to the focus, the message, the ‘aboutness’ of the song. Specificity refers to the cin-
ema of the song, the who-what-where-when-why-how that brings sensory concreteness to the
song and holds listener interest.

The Six W’s

It is often said that the most difficult part of songwriting is coming up with a really good lyric -
one which expresses what you want in a new and memorable way and which reaches and com-
municates with a diversity of listeners. A large part of this difficulty is finding the balance be-
tween colorful images and blandness; between specificity and vagueness. It is not easy to be spe-
cific yet colorful, and to get a clear message across memorably in three minutes. Cleverness with
words is helpful, but is not enough by itself. It takes more than that to provide the substance.
There are some general principles which, if followed, can make you more aware of the clarity of
your lyric. One key principle is “writing in the key of “W”.
When you think you are done with a lyric, ask these things: Who, What, When, Where, Why,
hoW By the end of your lyric, have all of these things been conveyed clearly to a listener? Who
is singing? To whom are they singing? Are any third parties being referred to? What is hap-
pening? What does each verb and each noun refer to? When is the action occurring
(day/night/present/past/future/what century)? Where is this taking place (in a home, in a bar, in
Cleveland, in my mind, underwater)? Why are the characters saying and doing what they do?
Why do they feel as they do? Why are they motivated to take those actions? How did things get
to be this way? How will they be resolved? How does each character feel?

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If you do not know the answer to any of these questions, you may have to do some re-thinking
about your lyric. From Chapter 8, recall Gilbert’s study at Harvard showing that once a question
exists in person’s mind, they have a powerful need to know the answer.
It is perfectly reasonable to conclude that for a particular lyric, it doesn’t matter at all to know
where it’s happening or when it’s happening. However, that is not the same as not knowing the
answer. If you consciously conclude that some of the above are not critical to your message, then
the answer, with your eyes-wide-open, is “any time” or “anywhere”. The thing to avoid at all
costs is creating confusion by not being specific when it does matter, or by leading the listener to
believe that it matters when it doesn’t.
As an exercise for yourself, look at some of your lyrics and see how many of the W’s can you
answer in the first verse? Here’s an example from the first verse of a song I wrote about impre-
sario P.T. Barnum, designed as a teaching aid for grade-school history.

Town of Bridgeport, nineteenth century time (where and when)

Phineas T. Barnum was making the headlines (who and what)
With the voice of Jenny Lind, and General Tom (how he was making
Thumb headlines)
He’d set up the events and watch the crowds of (what he did)
people come”
This is an example of straight expository writing—a series of facts. Very specific, but not neces-
sarily colorful or exciting. However, this kind of writing has its place when you look at TV
theme songs (Gilligan’s Island, Beverly Hillbillies, Brady Bunch—all the facts about the premise
of the show are there in less than two minutes). Let’s have a look at another example from Harry
Chapin’s “Dance Band on the Titanic”:
Mama stood cryin’ by the dockside
She said ‘Please son, don’t take this trip’
I said ‘Momma, sweet Momma, don’t you worry none,
Even God couldn’t sink this ship’…
What do we know from just these four lines? A mother is standing at the dock as her son is about
to depart on a ship. She is worried. He loves her, and he is confident about the success of his up-
coming trip. Thus we know who (mother and son), where (dockside), when (April, 1912, depar-
ture time for the Titanic), and how they feel.
The effectiveness of lyrics like these come not only from the specificity of the W’s, but also be-
cause it employs another of the important principles of a good lyric… “Show it, don’t tell it!” To
say “He smiled” is specific, but not colorful. To say “The corners of his mouth were looking up”
conveys the same information by showing an action. – it’s cinematic. “I’m lonely” can become
“the bed’s too big without you”; “I talk on the phone a lot” can become “This phone’s growing
into my ear”. The next lines of the verse above, instead of saying “the ship left” say “the whistle
blew, they turned the screws, it churned the water into foam…”
A great deal of information can be conveyed in the first few lines of a song, freeing up the rest of

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your valuable syllable real-estate for developing your ideas or painting your images. Consider
this opening couplet from “The Thief” (words and music by Bill Pere):
“I slip out the back door in the dead heat of summer
The city streets swelter, the sweat turns to steam…”
What information do we have from two lines? We know Where (city) and When (summer), we
know it’s very hot, and that the singer (Who) is engaged in a secretive activity (What). The next
two lines add visual detail:
“The back streets of the ghetto are a litter-strewn meadow
Of fruits never borne, and withered dreams”
(Note that both meanings of borne/born are supported, so it doesn’t matter which one the listener
hears. Fruit is borne, dreams are born.
Here’s another:

“Hot August night, and the trees hanging down and the grass on the ground smellin’ sweet
Move up the road to the outside of town and the sound of that good gospel beat”
What information do we have from these two Neil Diamond lines which begin “Brother Love’s
Travelin’ Salvation Show” : In these lines, (which also contain 6 rhymes, plus assonance and al-
literation), we know When (August, night), Where (edge of the road leading out of the town),
What is going on (gospel music), and How the air smells (sweet, grassy).
This type of lyric writing is both journalistic and cinematic, like describing the world through
movie cameras where the lenses can zoom in and out and scenes can pan and cut between loca-
tions and characters, providing all the relevant information. It is the art of using words to reach
the visual centers of the listener’s mind. And considering how many people go to movies, rent
videos, and watch TV and live events, it makes for effective lyric writing.
Try this gem, the four opening lines of “Harry and Joe” from the pen of multi-Emmy Award
winner A.J. Gundell:
Harry and Joe went South with their wives,
Enjoying the golden years of their lives
But life doesn’t always pay back what it owes
And suddenly, there was just Harry and Joe
Without actually “telling” us directly, we know in these short lines that there are two married
couples; they are elderly; the two men are named Harry and Joe; they are moving, probably to
Florida; the two women died unexpectedly.
How about this amazing bit of writing from the first verse James Taylor’s “Millworker”:
My grandfather was a sailor, he blew in off the water
My father was a farmer. and I, his only daughter
I took up with a no good millworking man from Massachusetts
Who dies from too much whiskey and leaves me these three faces to feed.

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In this brief opening to the song, we meet seven people across four generations! We know their
occupations and their relationships to each other. We know who is singing the song (the daugh-
ter), that she is widowed, how her husband died, and her current situation. With all that rich in-
formation in the opening lines of the song, the writer not only has the listener’s attention, but
now has the luxury of the entire rest of the song to use valuable syllable real-estate for imagery
and character development.
Thinking of your songs visually is a powerful means of developing effective lyrics. Sometimes,
you can “see” the whole song before you even have any words, and your lyrics can then be a
matter of describing what you “see”. If you can’t form a picture, remember the Concrete-Ab-
stract test. How many of your references (nouns) are concrete— things you access through senses
(moon, chair, table, book, beer); and how many are intangible (happiness, loneliness, truth,
beauty)? If there are no concrete reference in your lyric, it will be impossible for you or a listener
to form a picture, and you cannot answer the W’s. I’ve seen lyrics presented at workshops that
contain 20-30 nouns, but not one single concrete reference, and the typical audience feedback is
that they are “confused”. Specificity takes practice, but will yield big rewards in the way you
touch your listeners.

The Forward-Motion Test

In addition to the Concrete-Abstract Test, there is another useful tool: The Forward-Motion Test.
Many times, a writer believes he or she is telling a story when in fact they are just pouring out
thoughts and emotions. That is not storytelling. There are two simple things you can check to see
if you are truly unfolding a story:
1 – Read each line of your lyric and ask yourself, at each line, what information do we now
know that we didn’t know before this line? Do we know more about the character? The situa-
tion? Do we know more about any one of the 6 W’s?. If there is no new information, why is the
line there? Here’s an example (from “My Name Is Mary” by Bill Pere) of how you might try this
exercise with your songs:

The moonlight tried to caress her, but couldn’t find a happy place to reflect
Painted eyes, and lips laced with lipstick could not make up for a life of neglect
Pale blue eyes just like mine told me somehow this one wasn’t the same
Though I’d had so many girls before, this time I asked her name…

Line 1: What we know: It is night, the moon is out. The singer is watching a
girl or woman who is sad.
Line 2: What we know: The girl is wearing heavy make up (semantic pivot
on the word “make up”). Her childhood has been one of neglect.
Line 3: What we know: She has blue eyes, AND the singer has blue eyes.
This probably foreshadows something (A general principle of
storytelling: If something is shown or revealed, it will become

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 significant before the end of the story). The singer sees some-
thing significant about this girl.
Line 4: What we know: The singer is present there with the girl. He has had
many one-night-stand relationships before, never caring about
his partner’s name. This night, something is different, and he
cares enough to ask her name.
Look again at all the examples presented above, and see, line by line, how new information is
unfolded, not just because of what we are told, but because of what we are shown.
When Dan Fogelberg in “Same Old Lang Syne” wrote:
She said she’d married her an architect who kept her warm and safe and dry
She would have liked to say she loved the man, but she didn’t want to lie…
I said the years had been a friend to her and that her eyes were still as blue
But in those eyes I wasn’t sure if I saw doubt or gratitude
Think of how much insight this gives you as to the relationship of the woman and her husband,
her values, her self-image, and her entire married life. It is not told to us, but shown by these sim-
ple statements.
2 – In a well presented story, no lines should come before they need to. Look through your lyric
and see if there are any two lines or couplets which can be interchanged without making a differ-
ence in the logic and flow of the story (don’t worry about the rhyme scheme – look at the infor-
mation that’s being presented). If so, they are “throwaway” lines. i.e., not serving a specific role
in the presentation of your tale. When every line is serving a clear purpose, no line can be
switched with any other line without disrupting the logic and flow.
This concludes our discussion of the semantic parameters in a song.

Now, in the following four chapters, we’ll move on to the next group of parameters that play the
lead role in joining the music to the lyrics: the Prosodic parameters.

Section II-B
THE PROSODIC PARAMETERS
(Chapters 17-20)

We’ve spent several chapters looking at the Semantic Parameters, which affect the meaning, con-
tent, and clarity of a song. Now we’ll turn our attention to an area which is often overlooked, but
which has tremendous impact on the overall effectiveness and appeal of a song – the prosodic
parameters. This is probably the most difficult aspect of songwriting for many people, as it is
links our verbal skills with our rhythm processing mechanisms. The prosodic parameters deal
primarily with the flow of the words, independent of their meaning or their sound. It is the
prosodic parameters which bind the words to the music in a song. These chapters are as much

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about the music as the lyrics.
In spoken communication, the meaning, the passion, the emotion of what is being said is not con-
tained in just the words. It is also conveyed by the way words are emphasized, the placement of
pauses, the pitch and speed of the words. These things make up the cadence of language. When
the cadence of language is fit to a specific and regular structure of accented and unaccented
pulses, whether from music, verse, or both, we have what is called prosody. Even in spoken
word prose, it’s one of the elements that makes the great lines of speeches, delivered by great
speakers, stick in the collective consciousness.
Songs brought for critique often show gaps in awareness of issues of cadence. There are three
key areas to look at: Syllable Alignment, Word Alignment, and White Space (the space be-
tween words). Getting all the accents in a lyric to be in the right places and aligned with what the
music is doing is a fundamental songwriting skill. For effective and successful songwriting, this
is not optional. So let’s dive in….

Chapter 17: Identifying the Cadence of a Lyric

“A speech is poetry: cadence, rhythm, imagery, sweep! A speech reminds us that words, like
children, have the power to make dance the dullest beanbag of a heart” – Peggy Noonan, Ameri-
can Journalist

I’m Surrounded by Arses !

Being able to easily and accurately identify the cadence of a lyrics is as essential a skill in song-
writing as knowing what a rhyme is, what a chorus is, or knowing basic chords and scales. In
these chapters we will look at the relationship of arses and theses (stressed and unstressed sylla-
bles), the rhythmic patterns they create in lyrics, and the way these link to musical rhythm.
Using the Stranger Test: What would you think if you were about to hear a stranger give a pre-
sentation on some topic of interest to you, but they started speaking WITH all THE acCENTS
IN plaCES you didN’T EXpect. (try reading that again…). How long would you be able to lis-
ten, and would you be able to focus on the content of the words with the distraction of the odd
cadence? If you think you’d have a hard time listening, then realize that people listening to your
song will have an equally difficult time if your accent pattern is not what is expected, i.e., if it de-
viates from normal conversational cadence—even for just a syllable or two. The cadence of a
sentence is as important for communication as the words themselves. One misplaced accent
draws voyeuristic attention just like the mole on dear Auntie Bertha’s face.
An area of difficulty for many writers I’ve worked with is that of identifying the best ca-
dence for a given set of words. To do this, you would:

(a) identify the rhythm of how the words would be said in a normal conver-
sation, (the timing of spoken syllables and pauses)
(b) locate the accents (both the accented syllables in multi-syllabic words,

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 and the emphasized words in the overall sentence)
(c) determine if and how it fits rhythmically with the desired music
(prosody).
If you are writing just lyrics to be later set to music (by you or someone else), OR if you have
music and are trying to fit words to it, it is essential to be able to hear the natural cadence of a
phrase. When this is not given consideration, the result is often a song with accents in unnatural
places, making it look like a bunch of words were either force-fit to existing music or arbitrarily
overlaid on top of music. If you do this deliberately to try to be “different”, to be emotive, or to
get attention, just have your Eyes-Wide-Open to the fact that it is unsettling and distracting to
hear. Some writers or vocalists do it and call it “style”. In all likelihood, it is either eyes-not-
wide-open, or worse, laziness.
Here’s an example of the process of identifying cadence: I happened upon a phrase which I
thought would make a good line in a song. The phrase was: “There’s nothing wrong with
being forty unless you want to be twenty-one” When finding an interesting phrase, the first
thing to do is to see how it flows as rhythmic pulses, devoid of any specific melody. There are of
course various combinations of where accents could fall, but not all of them make sense. Get a
steady beat going with your hand (clap, or hit your leg, or whatever works for you) and speak the
words rhythmically, but naturally over the pulse. Note the accents, and where the arses and the-
ses fall on or off the beat.
Consider this very regular cadence:
There’s NO-thing WRONG with BE-ing FOR-ty UN-less YOU want TO be TWEN-ty-
ONE
Although this is perfectly regular and metrical (and thus easy to set to music) it makes no sense
whatsoever. There are three glaring clues which tell you that this cadence is lyrical poison:
(a) UN-less puts the accent on the wrong syllable – normally, we say “un-LESS”.
(b) The fact that the word TO is accented is always a red flag, because only an extremely rare use
of contrastive stress (Chapters 5 and 18) would allow this to sound normal. (i.e. when contrasting
with “from” as in “Are you going TO Europe?” “No, I’m coming FROM Europe”)
(c) Count from fifteen to twenty-five and you’ll see that in the teens, we emphasize the first syl-
lable (FIF-teen) because that’s what varies, while “teen” is constant. When we hit the twenties,
the “Twenty” stays constant and the part after the “Twenty” is the variable and thus gets the ac-
cent (twenty-ONE, twenty-TWO, etc). The above cadence has the accent as TWEN-ty-one which
is not going to occur in any typical kind of conversation, except if someone says to you “Are you
forty-one?” and you answer indignantly, “No, I’m TWEN-ty- one!”
Another variation would be to give a larger role to the comma in the sentence.
“ There’s nothing wrong with being forty, unless you want to be twenty-one.”
The accents stay the same as above, but the comma tells us there’s a pause between the two parts
of the sentence. This essentially makes it two lyric lines, suited for the hook at the end of a cho-
rus. e.g.,

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 1+2+3+4+
It’s been said that life is much too short
But when all is said and done,
There’s nothing wrong with being forty….
Un -less you want to be twen- ty-one.
Let’s assume we want to use this as one single line without an implied comma. What you need to
do is to speak the phrase in the context of the meaning of the song, and listen for the points of
contrastive stress (the emphasized words in the sentence, as opposed to the emphasized syllables
in each word) This yields:
There’s nothing WRONG with being FOR-ty unless you WANT to be twenty-ONE
Because WRONG, FOR-, WANT, -ONE are rhetorical accents (emphasized words or variable
parts of words) as well as syllable accents (emphasized syllables) they are the primary determi-
nants of where the musical accents have to align, in order for this line to effectively communicate
its meaning.
That now gives us a very clear rhythmic structure to work with. The fact that WRONG gets the
first accent implies that “There’s nothing” is an anacrusis, i.e. pick-up notes before the downbeat
on “WRONG” Other rhythmic cues would be that “There’s nothing” and “with being” are both 3
syllables, while “-ty unless you” and “to be twenty” are four syllables. This requires that at least
two of the syllables in the groups of four have to be twice as fast. Looking at how we space the
words in speaking, the quicker pairs are “for-ty” and “want to” Thus, the phrase using this ca-
dence would take up 2 measures (8 beats), as follows:

An alternative is
There’s NO-thing WRONG (rest)
with BE-ing FOR-ty, (rest)
un-LESS you WANT
to be TWEN-ty ONE
This cadence makes conversational sense but musically takes up 4 measures (16 beats) as fol-
lows:

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So you have at least two choices for a sensible cadence, however one takes up 8 beats and one
requires 16 beats. The optimal choice will then depend on the speed at which the rest of the
words are flowing, and whether you need to be compact with your overall song length or whether
you have room to allow two additional measures.
Misplaced accents are one of the most common blemishes in a song, and more often than not, the
writer is completely unaware of that anything is amiss. Being able to quickly determine the ca-
dence of phrases is a fundamental and critical skill for anyone who writes lyrics. If it is not a nat-
ural skill for you at this point, PRACTICE ! Take phrases from any source and do the above
analysis on them to see if you can find the musical cadences which will make sense, while recog-
nizing the obvious ones to avoid. If it’s not obvious to you, beat it out with your hands while you
speak – feel free to flail when you are finding accents. It will help you identify the cadence—or
if not, then flailing will at least help relieve your frustration.

EXERCISE: Identifying Cadence

1. If you want to get started, try identifying the cadence of these phrases (before looking at the
answers which follow).

(a) One day, in the night, as I woke up, I saw this eerie thing
(b) The vegetable department at my municipal landfill smelled very bad
today
(HINT: Keep the accent away from “my”. Think syncopated. An accent
on “my” only makes sense if you are singing to other people who own
municipal landfills as per the principle of Contrastive Stress.)
Answers for #1 above:

(a) One DAY, in the NIGHT as I woke UP i SAW this EE-rie THING (rest)
—(8 beats)
OR
One DAY, in the NIGHT as i WOKE up (rest) i SAW this EE-rie
THING (rest) - (8 beats)
(b) The Vegetable dePARTment at my muNIcipal LANDfill smelled VEry
BAD toDAY—OR- The Vegetable dePARTment at my muNIcipal
LANDfill SMELLED very BAD today
Either variation takes up exactly seven beats. (2 measures of 4/4 time with a rest at the end).

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2. Wrapped in a satin sheet tied with a bow
I freed her to see what I wanted to know.
The above couplet is normally spoken in straight 4/4 time with quarter notes and eighth notes,
except for one triplet. Can you pick it out?
Take other sentences from a book or newspaper and see if you can identify the cadence and beat
a pulse over it (Not all randomly spoken sentences will have a regular beat – sometimes syncopa-
tions and odd numbers of accents may have to be used, but most of the time, you can overlay any
sentence over a steady pulse. Part of the skill of writing a good lyric is establishing an overall
beat structure which lends itself to being set to easily singable/interpretable music.

Interaction of the Lyric Accents with the Music Accents

Consider this couplet:

My soft brass bed is like no other
It’s just perfect for an antique lover.
You may think you know what these lines means, but without hearing it set to music, you can’t
be sure. If the music accent gives you “an-TIQUE lover”, then it’s a person who likes to collect
old things, and the bed is valued as a collectible. However, if it’s “antique LOV-er”, then it refers
to a sexually active senior citizen and the bed is valued for other purposes. If you look at the mu-
sical representation of the two cadences (just rhythm, no melody), you can see how very different
they are.

Obviously, as a writer, you need to insure that the meaning you intend is the one supported by
the accent structure imposed by the music. Tools to help you achieve this are presented in the
next chapters.

Chapter 18: The Metric System…For Songwriters

“Well we really meant you to visit Paris in May, but the rhythm required two syllables.” –-
composer Venon Duke, when asked about his 1932 Broadway hit “April in Paris”

145
Metrics deals with the patterns and alignments of syllables and accents in a lyric, and their over-
all alignment with the musical rhythm. It is this latter element which differentiates song lyrics
from poetry. Poetry does not have to contend with aligning accents to an independently moving
rhythmic entity, and in that respect, a song lyricist is working under a more complex set of con-
straints than a poet.

The Three Accents

There are three distinct elements to consider when shaping the meter of a lyric, and this fact is
sometimes simplified by writers (and publishers and producers) by reducing metrics to an exer-
cise of counting syllables, believing that if the number of syllables of equivalent lines in all the
verses matches, then the meter is correct. This is quite untrue – let’s look at the reasons why.
In English, the accents in multisyllabic words may fall on any of the syllables whereas in some
other languages, like Italian, the second syllable is more often accented, and in French, it is usu-
ally the last syllable. This is one of the reasons why songwriters who are writing in English as a
second language have difficulty with metrics. Each language has a natural rhythm inherent to it.
The process of fitting words to music introduces a new rhythmic element. If the music’s rhythm
forces the natural rhythm of the language to deviate from its normal spoken cadence, then an
awkward, unnatural feeling is created and the meaning gets lost as the listener must work extra
hard to compensate for the unexpected sounds. Fitting language to music and retaining a natural
cadence involves blending these three things:
1] The Syllable Accent, or where the accent occurs in a given word. For example, in the word
‘happily’ the accent is on the first syllable, thus the word has an rhythmic pattern of LOUD-soft-
soft (this pattern is called a dactyl). An accent forced to fall on the wrong syllable of a word is
called a wrenched accent, and usually stands out negatively in a lyric (unless you want to be hu-
morous). I’ve seen a wrenched accent cause publishers and producers to pass on what might oth-
erwise be a good song, until the offending line is rewritten.
2] The Rhetorical Accent, or which words in a sentence are accented. Using the sentence “He
didn’t drink his beer today”, if you just read it in a normal fashion, you would probably tend to
put a stress on the words “didn’t” and “beer”. Now try reading the sentence several times with
the stresses on different words:
a. HE didn’t drink his beer today.
b. He DIDN’T drink his beer today.
c. He didn’t DRINK his beer today.
d. He didn’t drink HIS beer today.
e. He didn’t drink his BEER today.
f. He didn’t drink his beer TODAY.
Notice that though it is the same sentence, the meaning is different each time as the accent shifts,
and it greatly affects what you expect to hear as a follow up sentence as per the Principle of Con-
trastive Stress.
In example (a) above, it is implied that the important aspect of the sentence is the idea that some-
body did in fact drink some specific beer, but it wasn’t ‘him’. Example (b) implies that someone

146
mistakenly thought that he did drink today. Example (c) suggests that he did do something with
his beer today other than drink it (he injected it, snorted it, etc). Example (d) tells us that he prob-
ably did drink beer today, but it was somebody else’s, not his. Example (e) tells us that he drank
something today, but not beer. And (f) tells us that he drank beer yesterday and the day before,
but not today. Thus you can see how immensely important the rhetorical accent is in a lyric. Hav-
ing the accent fall on the wrong word can totally alter your meaning and cause confusion for the
listener.
3] The Musical Accent, or which of the musical beats are emphasized. Musical rhythm is an es-
sential element of a song, and is usually the dominant factor in pulling the listener’s sense of for-
ward motion along through time. This does not mean only the rhythm of the percussion. The
melody to which the lyrics are being sung has an inherent rhythm, which, because it is carrying
the lyric, is as important as the percussive rhythm. Every song has a basic pulse or time base,
which is usually a quarter note, and which serves as the basic unit for counting beats. Each pulse
may be divided into two or three sub-units, which in turn may be divided into quicker groups of
two or three. It is these subdivisions that give the song it’s ‘feel’ and it is the loudness of some
subdivisions relative to others which determines the musical accents. If all accents fall on the
first subdivisions of each pulse, then you have a regular, steady rhythm. If they fall on a second
(or third) subdivision, then you have syncopation.
To preserve the meaning and effectiveness of your lyric, you must be absolutely sure that the syl-
lable accent AND the rhetorical accent AND the musical accent are ALL aligned on the same
beats in the song, and it must be consistent from verse to verse. This is a primary skill for a
songcrafter. The EWO principle here is straightforward: You can choose to be lax about aligning
your accents, but be aware that you will be sacrificing a part of all four Faders. It’s that impor-
tant. The choice is yours.
Now where does syllable counting fit in? As stated above, a common error about metrics is the
belief that equal numbers of syllables in equivalent lines means perfect meter. The problem with
this in song lyrics is that it does not in any way insure that the three types of accents will prop-
erly line up. Let’s look at some examples. Consider these two lines as if they were the first line
of verse#1 and the first line of verse#2:
Verse 1 Line 1) Sitting on a rotten stump…
Verse 2 Line 1) Umbrellas fall and make a thump…

If you just read them, they seem to flow naturally, with no misplaced accents. However, in
counting syllables, we find that the first line has 7 syllables, and the second line has 8. Now sup-
pose we adjust the second line to have 7 syllables, as the first line does. We could have:
Verse 1 Line 1) Sitting on a rotten stump…
Verse 2 Line 1) Umbrellas fall and go thump…

Now both lines have the same number of syllables, but something sounds wrong with the flow of
the words. The only way to really understand what’s happening is to take a look at the alignment
of accents. First, let’s forget about any music, and look at the syllable and rhetorical accents for
this second version. Normal speech would give us:
SIT ting ON a ROT ten STUMP

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um BREL las FALL and GO THUMP
From this, it is clear that the problem is caused by the fact that there are SIX non-matching ac-
cents. Thus, even though the syllable counts match up, the meter is way off, and it is a poor lyric.
Musically, since these are equivalent lines, one being the first line of verse 1, and the other being
the first line of verse 2, it would mean either that these two lines would have to be sung to the
same music, which would make one of them have three wrenched accents or they would have to
be sung to music with significantly different rhythm, which is not a good thing on equivalent
lines of verses. Clearly, this is a hopeless situation requiring a revision.
Why then does the original example, with 7 syllables in the first line and 8 in the second line
work? Let’s look at the alignment of the syllable, rhetorical, and musical accents:
4 + 1 + 2 + 3 + 4
------------------------------
SIT ting ON a ROT ten STUMP
um BREL las FALL and MAKE a THUMP

All the strong and weak syllables are lined up. The reason the different syllable counts work
properly is that the extra syllable in the second line is shifted to occur one subdivision before the
down beat. This is called an anacrusis or more commonly, a “pick-up” note. Shifting syllables to
occur before the down beat is one common technique for bringing accents into alignment when
the syllable count does not match. Here, all the natural language accents match up with the musi-
cal beats i.e., the first division of each group of two. If any of the accented words or syllables fell
on one of the second subdivisions, (the ‘+’ sign), this would create a syncopation. Syncopating
by putting an music accent on a normally unaccented pulse (not syllable!) is a very effective mu-
sical tool, provided it does not cause conflict with the necessary lyrical accents.

Anacruses on Lyric Sheets

Anacrusis is extremely common in song lyrics, and it leads to a consideration when printing lyric
sheets. On a lead sheet, where the lyrics are aligned with actual music notation, one can see an
anacrusis, but on a lyric sheet with words only, the anacrusis is not readily visible, and it be-
comes easy for the reader of the lyrics to begin reading the line with the wrong accents, creating
the impression that the flow is awkward. This becomes particularly important if you are submit-
ting a lyric sheet to a lyric competition or for a lyric analysis or critique.
One way to remove this problem is to actually align the downbeats when you type a lyric sheet
so that any anacrusis is offset to the left. This helps clarify the metrical structure of your lyrics,
but if you have too many anacruses, then the lyric sheet might start to look messy. You’ll have to
find a point of balance.
There is yet another variation of the lyric sheet problem. Let’s look at some lines from the hit
“Who Will Answer?” written by Sheila Davis, (author of “The Craft of Lyric Writing”) and L.E.
Aute.

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 Syllable Count
(VERSE A)
From the canyons of the mind (7)
We wander on and stumble blindly (9)
Through the often tangled maze (7)
Of Starless nights and sunless days… (8)

(VERSE B)
Side by side two people stand (7)
Together vowing hand in hand (8)
That love’s embedded in their hearts (8)
But soon an empty feeling starts.. .(8)
As you can see, the syllable counts for lines 2 and 3 do not match between the two verses. Does
this mean we have a poorly crafted lyric and we should throw out this hit song? Of course not. If
you line the words up according to accents, everything matches perfectly; syllable, rhetorical,
and musical. When written as just lyrics, without musical measures, there is no way to see that
the ‘-ly’ of the word ‘blindly’ is really the first syllable of the third line, and not the last syllable
of the second line (in fact, there is a two-syllable rhyme, i.e., ‘mind we’ with ‘blindly’).
In writing just a lyric sheet, you can’t very well start a line with “-ly”. (You can however do this
with song mapping – See Chapter 22) You can help this situation by spacing out the lyrics a bit
to help align the rhymes and matching accents wherever possible, as shown in the above exam-
ple. Again, you must balance it with the overall appearance of the lyric sheet. Note that in just
reading the lyrics from “Who Will Answer?”, they tend to flow well, unlike the situation we dis-
cussed when an anacrusis is read with a wrong accent.
Of course, it’s great to try to design the lyric to have matching syllable counts as well as match-
ing accents, but that is an extremely difficult task if the lyric has any degree of complexity to it,
and if words of more than two syllables appear frequently. Words of three or more syllables will
have accent patterns which tend to force the rest of the line to work around them. There is noth-
ing wrong with this and in fact, effective use of longer words makes very colorful lyrics, but it
means you have to work harder to make them fit. For an excellent example of finely crafted
lyrics using multisyllable words and complex accent patterns, listen to “Ironbound” by Suzanne
Vega.
Going back to our ‘umbrella’ example, there are two approaches to adjusting the syllable count:
(a) remove a syllable from the second line, or (b) add a syllable to the first line. This could give
us:
1 + 2 + 3 + 4
------------------------------
SIT ting ON a ROT ten STUMP

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 SOME um BREL las FALL and THUMP
or
+ 1 + 2 + 3 + 4
------------------------------
while SIT ting ON a ROT ten STUMP
um BREL las FALL and MAKE a THUMP
These are now perfect in syllable count and accent alignment, but do they subtly alter what you
want to say, or are they still true to your intended meaning? That is for you decide on a case-by-
case basis, remembering that the effective communication of your meaning is always the primary
consideration.
An examination of many classic hit songs shows endless examples of corresponding lines in
verses with differing numbers of syllables. Some examples would be “The Gambler”, “The
Rose”, “Summertime”, “You Light Up My Life”, and many more. However, in all cases where
the syllables don’t match, the accents are in fact perfectly aligned. One must always be careful in
citing examples from hit songs. All guidelines have exceptions, and it is important to make sure
you are not citing exceptions to the principle, instead of the principle itself. For example, there
are hit songs which have wrenched accents. A famous “Plan 9” example is “You Are the Sun-
shine of My Life” by Stevie Wonder, i.e.,
(verse1) Though I’ve LOVED you for a MIL-lion YEARS
(verse2) Be cause you CAME to MY res- CUE
We can only wish someone had come to the rescue of that line.

EXERCISE: Applying The Principle of Contrastive Stress

Now you may not want to deal with any more stress in your life, but if you write lyrics, you need
to deal with this kind. Recall that Contrastive Stress means that we tend to emphasize the word in
a sentence to which there is an alternative.
Look at the sentence: “He was a fan of the New York GIANTS”. With the stress on “Giants”,
what the sentence says is: “He was a fan of the New York Giants as opposed to the New York
Mets or the New York Jets or the New York Yankees, etc.” There are many New York teams as
alternatives to the Giants, so that word is stressed.
Now look what happens if the stress is moved: “He was a fan of the NEW YORK Giants”. Now,
the same sentence means something different. It means “He was a fan of the New York Giants as
opposed to the San Francisco Giants”. Now, the alternative is a matter of which Giants.
Still another meaning is conveyed by “He WAS a fan of the New York Giants”. This clearly im-
plies that he used to be a fan of the New York Giants, but may not be one now. Finally moving
the stress to say “HE was a fan of the New York Giants” points to the alternative of some else
also being a fan of the same team.
Your turn:

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To fully understand the importance of this principle and how powerful the effect is, take each of
the six lines below, and make up a conversation with a few lines before and after the line in ques-
tion, so that the given stress makes sense in that conversation. You’ll find that you have six dis-
tinctly different conversations.

1 SHE sang the best song in the show (as opposed to?)
2. She SANG the best song in the show (as opposed to?)
3. She sang the BEST song in the show (as opposed to?)
4. She sang the best SONG in the show (as opposed to?)
5. She sang the best song IN the show (as opposed to?)
6. She sang the best song in the SHOW (as opposed to?)
Try these variations on an exchange between a driver and her navigator. What does each version
tell you they were talking about before they said:
1. I think you should turn here.
2. i THINK you should turn here
3. i think you SHOULD turn here
4. i think you should turn HERE

“Jamb” Sessions: Enjambed and Non-Enjambed Lines

Whenever I comment on an issue of enjambment at a critique session, there are usually some
wide-eyed-looks, as if I started speaking in tongues. It is simply the language of songcrafting.
There are two general types of lyrics, end-stopped (enjambed) and non- end-stopped (non-en-
jambed) End-stopped lyrics use the technique of enjambment which means that each individual
line, though not necessarily a full sentence, has a meaning complete unto itself, and can stand
alone as a thought, i.e., they are ‘stopped’ at the end. (Think of it as being bounded by a door-
jamb)
Non-end-stopped lyrics carry a single thought through more than one line (they are not ‘stopped’
at the end) and thus an individual line does not stand alone as a meaningful unit. Because in nor-
mal speech, we tend to pause between one complete thought and another, while we do not pause
in the middle of a thought, end-stopped lyrics usually have a few musical beats between the end
of one line and the start of the next, and it is here that anacruses will be inserted, if needed to
start the next line. Non-end-stopped lyrics, as are used in the verses of “Who Will Answer?” tend
to have less open space between lines and thus the connection of a line with the previous line be-
comes a focal point in determining accent alignment and syllabication.
While it is certainly possible to have a few beats of rests between the lines of a non end-stopped
lyric, it essential that they don’t cause the continued thought to become disjointed. This is a com-
mon songwriting flaw, where the end of a non-enjambed line has 4-8 beats until the next line,

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which is really just a continuation of the thought. Consider the phrase:

I wanted a wild woman to keep on being wild to me

If all you heard was

I wanted a wild woman to keep….

And then there was a long pause (2 beats or more), you would at that moment think that the
phrase was a complete sentence unto itself, and that the singer wanted to have some kind of pri-
mal female as a pet – a very different sentiment than the whole phrase conveys. Then when the
line starts up again after the pause, (On being wild to me…) the listener is thinking it’s the start of
a new thought, instead of a continuation of the preceding one. The result? Confusion.
The other enjambment issue occurs when the writer just breaks the line and pauses in an unnat-
ural place (as opposed to at a point of natural pause):
I saw him there and before long I started doing….
With a pause there, it feels completely unresolved. Doing what?
Don’t get the impression that you should avoid non-enjambed lines. When used well, they add
variety and depth to a lyric, just as a novel benefits from varying the length and complexity of
the sentences. Here’s a great example of a non-enjambed lyric from the group Level 42, the
opening verse of “Something About You” (Mark King, Roland Gould, Philip Gabriel Gould,
Mike Lindup, Waliou Jacques Daniel Badarou).
Now, how can it be,
That a love, carved out of caring,
Fashioned by fate, could suffer so hard
From the games played once too often?
But making mistakes is a part of life’s imperfection
Born of the years
Is it so wrong to be human after all?
Here, the first four lines of the song are just one long complex sentence, actually a question. The
flow of the song never allows time for the listener to think otherwise Not one of the first four
lines is a complete thought unto itself. Check out the song and listen to the even longer non-en-
jambed second verse.
Here’s another example, looking at the chorus of “What Love Really Means”, discussed previ-
ously in Chapter 13. In writing this chorus, I was being very conscious of the flow of the parts of
the sentence so as not to cause any confusion.
If love is all we leave behind
From the first day that two people find each other,
Then write that scene,
And hope some day, someone will say

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“This should be a film or play on a stage, on a screen
To show the world what love really means”
Looking carefully you see that this is all one long complex, but grammatically correct sentence.
The one place where there is an extended pause coincides with the comma after “scene”, right
before the start of the next part of the sentence which is a clause unto itself, and thus can support
the pause.
Being mindful of the distinction between lyric lines that do and do not use enjambment can help
you better analyze your own lyrics, those of other writers, and to design lyric flow and lyric
sheets that will cause the least amount of confusion for the listeners and readers.

Here’s Another Fine “-Ness” You’ve Gotten Me Into…

One final observation about paying attention to cadence: It is very common to hear an accent
shifted to the wrong place, for the purpose of making a rhyme. The common ones are “-ness” as
in “happiNESS”, “loneliNESS”; “ing” as in “happenING”, “followING”; and -ty/-ly/-ny as in
“uniTY”, “easiLY”, “harmoNY”. These wretched wrenched accents occur commonly at the end
of lines—look through your songs and you’ll find some (I confess, I have a few and I’m not
proud of them). If the vocalist can manage to tone down the emphasis, and since it is locking a
rhyme, it probably won’t be as jarring as in other cases—however, don’t settle for one of these
unless you at least ask yourself if there is an alternative. Of course if the wrenched accent is
sung with great emphasis as some vocalists tend to do, it will be unpleasant. If you must use this
construction, make it a last resort.
It is possible to use these types of rhymes at the end of lines without doing the ING thing or the
NESS mess. Hats off to Gretchen Peters (writer) and Martina McBride (vocalist) who give us a
perfect example of how to do it right in the great hit “Independence Day” :
Let freedom ring
Let the white dove sing
Let the whole world know that today is the day of RECKoning
That’s RECK-oning, not reckon-ING. An extremely effective lyric, with the accents in exactly
the right places. It can be done.

Chapter 19: White Space…the Final Frontier

He writes the worst English that I have ever encountered. It reminds me of a string of wet
sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean soup, of col-
lege yells, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights. It is so bad that a sort of grandeur
creeps into it. It drags itself out of the dark abysm of pish, and crawls insanely up the topmost
pinnacle of posh. It is rumble and bumble. It is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash. - H. L.
Mencken writing about President Warren G. Harding

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 Some may find this a difficult chapter – perhaps the most difficult one in this book, because
it deals with listening to what you do not hear. It is however an extremely important chapter, so
hang in there.
In the last chapter, we discussed the importance of aligning the syllable, rhetorical and musical
accents in a song. There is another prosodic parameter which has a profound effect on a lyric but
is easy to ignore when writing a song, because it’s ‘invisible’—white space, i.e., the ‘empty’
space between syllables of a word, or between one word and the next.
Why is this important? To answer this, think again of the major difference between poetry and
song lyrics. In reading poetry aloud, when the reader pauses for a breath or for a comma, or stops
for any reason, time is on ‘hold’ until the reading resumes. In a song, however, every pause in a
lyric, and in fact every tiny space between one syllable and the next must contend with the fact
that underneath the words, the musical pulse continues to cause time to march forward. Even if
the music pauses, the listener’s mental metronome continues to tick, expecting the music or
words to resume at a particular pulse in time. Thus, as far as a song is concerned, there is no such
thing as dead space.
Suppose you have paid careful attention to the metrical structure of your lyric, and you’ve got
everything absolutely perfect. All the accents line up, the syllable counts all match, and you’re
ecstatic. Given that degree of crafting, you would think it impossible for that lyric to still sound
‘off’ or unnatural. Not so. Let’s go back to our well-worn umbrella example:
SIT- ting ON a ROT- ten STUMP um- BREL-las FALL and MAKE a THUMP
Saying this rhythmically but naturally gives us the musical alignment we arrived at earlier:
4 + 1 + 2 + 3 + 4
--------------------------
SIT- ting ON a ROT- ten STUMP
um-BREL-las FALL and MAKE a THUMP
But, suppose you as a lyricist gave these fine lines to a composer, and the composer decided to
use a bouncy melody which subdivides each musical beat into three instead of two (one-and-a,
two-and-a, etc.) i.e., ‘swing’. The result:
4 + a 1 + a 2 + a 3 + a 4 + a
--------------------------
SIT- ting ON a ROT- ten STUMP
um- BREL- las FALL and MAKE a THUMP
Since each of the three subdivisions are of equal duration, and given that each of the ‘+’ subdivi-
sions (the “and’s”) are rests, what happens here is that the space between the syllables starting on
the main beats (the numbers) and the next syllable, is twice as much as the space between beats
starting on the third subdivision (the ‘a’) and the next syllable. For example, the distance be-
tween’ SIT’ and ‘ting’ is twice as much as the space between’ ting’ and ‘ON’. (SIT has a rest be-
fore the next syllable but ‘ting’ does not – it goes right to ON).
This pattern of 2-to-1 spacing is the definition of ‘swing’ rhythm, and the perception is that the
time given to each syllable alternates in a 2 to 1 ratio i.e., the syllable “sit” has twice as much
‘room’ to be said as “-ting”. In natural speech, the word ‘sitting’ is never pronounced this way.

154
The two syllables receive equal time. The word “rotten” never receives twice as much time on
the first syllable as the last. In the phrase ‘rotten apple’, all four syllables get equal time, with no
open space (rests) between any of them.
In the spoken phrase ‘rotten kid’ (or rotten stump), there could be a pause (white space) between
-ten and the next syllable, or a pause after ‘kid’, depending on the context of the sentence, but
never between ‘rot’ and ‘-ten.’ That is totally unnatural for that word. Thus, to force words which
usually take equally spaced syllables to ‘space out’ into unevenly spaced configurations will in-
evitably make them sound wrong.
Of course there are thousands of songs that use ‘swing’ time and other types of tuple meter (sub-
divisions into three) which sound perfectly normal, and in fact, would sound strange if fit to
duple meter (subdivided into evenly spaced twos). Think of the song “When Johnny Comes
Marching Home”. It’s a natural swing (12/8). It is be impossible to comfortably say the words
“When Johnny comes marching home again hurrah, hurrah” or “ The men will cheer and the
boys will shout” in straight 4/4 time. They have to swing.
To clearly understand what’s at work, consider two words:
’tintinnabulation’, and ‘tatterdemalion’
When divided into syllables, both have six (tin-tin-na-bu-LA-tion; tat-ter-de-MA-li-on). How-
ever, when spoken naturally, “tintinnabulation” takes much longer to say, approximately 50%
longer, than “tatterdemalion”. Try the sentence
“The ship shone like a tatterdemalion under the tintinnabulation of the stars”
In addition to the time-difference in saying the two six-syllable words, notice also that you are
forced by the natural flow of the language to insert a rest between “ship” and “shone”. This is
true of most combinations of adjacent syllables, when each is a primary accented syllable, (e.g.,
RED RUBber Ball; SONG SUNG BLUE; BIG GIRLS DON’T CRY; TWO STOry House;
WARM SUMmer evening; TRAIN BOUND for nowhere;) This points out a key difference be-
tween the analysis of foot and meter in poetry (scansion) as opposed to song lyrics. In poetry,
“ship shone” would be considered a foot (accent pattern) of LOUD-LOUD, which is called a
spondee. It does not address the white space between the two words, as one must do in words set
to music, since there is a pulse there. In a lyric sitting on top of a moving musical pulse, “ship
shone” is LOUD-rest-LOUD (an amphimacher), and thus takes up three equal musical pulses.
If written on a lead sheet, they would likely be written as two eighth notes, but the articulation
(the degree of separation between successive musical notes) would be more like a sixteenth note,
a sixteenth rest, and another sixteenth note (or eighth note, depending on what follows the word
“shone”).
Analyzing lyrical white space is analogous to musical articulation, where notes may be written
without any clearly defined space between them (legato), but may be played staccato (separated),
leaving gaps between them. Those gaps have definite values which cannot be ignored, and in
fact, any computer sequencer and music notation software will pick up very tiny gaps between
notes and can show them as musical rests, if you wish to analyze the white space
With sampling technology, it is easy to see what’s happening with the spaces in a spoken or sung
phrase. By speaking words into a sampler or computer and then viewing the sound wave, one can

155
identify each syllable and find its exact relationship in time to the other syllables, since time and
length are directly proportional. Of course if you can do that by ear, it’s much faster and simpler,
but it may take some ear-training to “hear” the emptiness.
In our example above, the reason for the time-difference in saying the two six-syllable words is
that “tintinnabulation” is naturally in a tuple meter (the syllables alternate lengths in a ratio of
two to one), whereas “tatterdemalion” is naturally spoken with the syllables of equal length and
spacing. Try saying “tintinnabulation” with all the syllables of equal length. Even if you put the
primary accent correctly on the fifth syllable, the word sounds robotic.
Alternatively, if you try to ‘swing’ the word “tatterdemalion”, giving the syllables alternating
lengths of 2 to 1, it becomes impossible to make it sound right. Thus, not only do phrases have
cadences, but individual multi-syllable words have an inherent cadence as well.
Consider the case of rhythmical triplets, where three notes are executed in the space of two.
Triplets are three evenly-spaced notes, thus, a triplet cannot accommodate a 3-syllable phrase
which requires unequal spacing to sound right. A triplet may be used to accommodate an extra
syllable or a particular accent pattern only if all the syllables are evenly spaced. The same may
be pointed out when dividing four beats into even eighth note groupings of 3-3-2 (a calypso
feel). This can accommodate accent patterns (feet) which have three pulses, but it does not ad-
dress the difference between words requiring even vs. uneven open space between the syllables.
Our two six-syllable words above are obviously not the only two words with these characteris-
tics. Every multisyllabic word or group of monosyllabic words has a natural rhythmic spacing
which corresponds to either an even or uneven spacing. Thus, the white space aspect of songwrit-
ing metrics requires insuring that the spacing of the syllables does not cause a naturally occurring
even cadence to be sung over a swing rhythm, and vice-verse, for even if all accents are perfectly
aligned, incorrect white space will make it sound wrong.
There is one qualification to this concept: With very long note values or in slow tempos, or with
very quick note values, or fast tempos, the awkwardness of a 3-on-2 or 2-on-3 tends to be much
less pronounced (no pun intended), and may be acceptable to the ear. It is in the tempo ranges
which are nearest to speaking speeds that the difference is most noticeable.
Why does this effect occur at all? When we speak, there are always accented syllables separated
by a number of unaccented syllables. If a lyric has an absolutely regular meter all the way
through, this problem wouldn’t occur, but it is rare to have an effective lyric which has total reg-
ularity (except perhaps if you are writing a jingle for Metamucil). The first two lines from the
song “Chimney Smoke” (Gimbel & Coleman, recorded by Harry Belafonte,) show a perfectly
regular meter:
“There’s a house on a hill by an old willow tree with a fireplace burning for my love and me…”
or:

(REST) there’s a HOUSE on a HILL by an OLD will-ow TREE (with a) with

a FI- re place BURN- ing for MY love and ME (rest rest)
Again, it is important to note that the meter in a lyric must account for open spaces, thus the ac-
cent pattern is LOUD-soft-soft (dactyl), as opposed to the soft-soft-LOUD pattern (anapest) it
would be if it were being analyzed as poetry. To say that in another way: verbally, the phrasing is

156
soft-soft-LOUD, but musically/rhythmically, it is LOUD-soft-soft, due to the musical accent on
the downbeat each group of three.
These lines have nine groups of LOUD-soft-soft pulses making them very regular, and when
spoken naturally, all the syllables are of equal length and spacing. Thus, if this lyric were given
to a composer, 3/4 time might be the first thing to present itself for an easy fit. In 3/4 time, each
of the 3 beats is subdivided into two, thus it is a duple meter, ‘even’ feel. If 3 beats are subdi-
vided into 3, then the resulting tuple meter is 9/8, which is often called 3/4 with a ‘swing’. (See
the table of musical meters at the end of this chapter)
In songs with rhythmically complex lyrics, the grouping of loud and soft accent patterns i.e., the
feet, are not always the same from line to line, or even within a line. This is certainly the case in
spoken language as well. Thus, in normal speaking, accented syllables can turn up with any num-
ber of unaccented syllables between them (though typically not more than four).
In conversing, we perform some amazing unconscious acrobatics. If you have ever played “kick
the can”, consider what happens as you walk toward the can and prepare to kick it. You find
yourself unconsciously adjusting the length of your steps so that the ‘kick’ falls at the right part
of your stride. The ‘kick’ is like an accented syllable, and the steps leading up to it are unac-
cented syllables. We continually, but unconsciously, adjust the spacing between syllables to
make the accents fall at the right points in our speaking rhythm. In “tatterdemalion”, the primary
accent is on the fourth syllable with a secondary accent on the first, while in “tintinnabulation”,
the primary accent is on the fifth syllable with a secondary accent on the third. This is the major
factor contributing to the big difference in the way these words flow.
A final example to consider: Read these phrases
—Jack in the Box Pizza and Beer
—Jack in the Box Beer and Pizza
Both phrases have exactly the same syllables and words, the only difference being the order,
which in turn means a different arrangement of accents. I stopped 10 people at random in a busy
hallway and asked them to read the phrases. What commonly emerged was:
LOUD-soft-soft-Loud LOUD-soft soft-LOUD
LOUD-soft-soft-Loud LOUD-soft LOUD-soft
The simple reversal of the two last syllable stresses causes a significant difference in the way we
have to adjust our speaking stride to hit the accents. The word “box” is a secondary accent, in
that it is louder than “in the”, but softer than “Jack”. Secondary accents are important because
they can, in many cases, work properly on either an accented or unaccented musical beat and
give a vocalist more dynamic freedom. In writing the accent pattern, a secondary accent can be
written as either “Loud” or “sOFT”, depending on how it is interacting with the musical accent.
If fitting the above phrases to music, we would end up with something like:
LOUD-soft-soft Loud-(rest-rest) LOUD-soft-soft LOUD-(rest-rest)
JACK in the Box PIZ- za and BEER
LOUD-soft-soft-sOFT (rest-rest)- LOUD-soft-LOUD-soft

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JACK in the Box BEER and PIZ- za

In either case, the words “in the” are always spoken faster than “BOX BEER” or “BOX PIZ-”
because, recalling from above, adjacent accented syllables need a pause between them, while un-
accented syllables do not. The first is clearly grouped in threes, the second in twos, and it seems
that the first phrasing is more natural than the second phrasing. This is partly due to the fact that
the third syllable, “the” can never have an accent. When grouped in threes, the third syllable is
normally unaccented, and the whole phrase is a symmetric grouping of dactyls (LOUD-soft-
soft). But in the sequences of two, the fact that the third syllable cannot take an accent and the re-
versed accents in the second half makes the whole phrase asymmetrical and less flowing.
Most phrases, can be forced to fit, but like forcing a rhyme, the result is not very effective. The
natural cadence of most phrases in language is a mixture of twos and threes, and is totally with-
out symmetry or pattern. Thus, another task of the lyric crafter is to find words which not only
say something clearly and colorfully and have properly aligned syllable, rhetorical, and musical
accents, but which also have the right white space to flow with a natural feel. (I hope it’s getting
easier to see why a good lyricist is indeed a rare and valuable person in the pantheon of
Bartholomew’s hats, as discussed in Chapter 3).
This consideration has particular importance for collaborators and vocalists. A lyricist who plans
to give a lyric to a composer to have it set to music must be very cognizant (either consciously or
intuitively) of the white space. If a lyric contained words or phrases within a line that required a
variety different spacings to sound natural, the composer would have an extremely difficult,
(though not necessarily impossible) time trying to construct a melody which is striking, instead
of striking out. Such a melody would have to be very syncopated and choppy, and although col-
laborators with the skill of Burt Bacharach and Hal David can make such things work, it is not an
easy task for most. A composer and lyricist who can analyze these kinds of problems and discuss
them with a common conceptual framework can make their collaboration efforts be much more
harmonious.

More Stress in Your Life: Parts of Speech

There is yet another important effect of incorrectly placed accents or white space. Consider this
newspaper headline: “Hospital is Sued by Seven Foot Doctors”. You can see that a small adjust-
ment in timing and emphasis makes the difference between podiatrists and basketball players.
Look at the following:
Big, black bird (the spoken cadence is LOUD-LOUD–soft and )

Big blackbird (the spoken cadence is LOUD-LOUD-soft and ) The only difference here is
in the timing – not the sounds, not the accent pattern – just the timing.
While errors in contrastive stress can be pinpointed with a little attention to detail, errors in white
space hide with great camouflage in songs. If there are three notes to be sung, one of three things
can happen:

158
 (a) - they are all equally spaced—
(b) - the first and second are closer together than the second and third
— (rest)
(c) - the second and third are closer together than the first and second
— (rest) .

The result of these three small differences is actually quite significant. Most words in English
can act as more than one part of speech, i.e., a noun, verb, adjective, etc. The word night, in addi-
tion to being a noun (silent night), can be an adjective (night light, night life); the word sound
can be either a noun (loud sound), an adjective (a sound decision), or a verb (sound the alarm).
The word ring can be a noun (wedding ring), a verb (ring the bell) or an adjective (a ring danish);
At a recent critique session, a writer had the line “night sounds ring”. Obviously, night is an ad-
jective, sounds is a noun, and ring is a verb. When spoken in a sentence, it would be “night
sounds (pause) ring”, as in (b) above. However, in the song, the music forced the words to fall as
“night (pause) sounds ring”, as in (c) above, which implies that night is a noun, sounds is a verb,
and ring is an adjective, which doesn’t make much sense. The result is confused listeners. This is
exactly the same principle shown in the classic example:

(a) “Time flies like an arrow”

(b) “Fruit flies like a banana”
In (a), flies is a verb and like is an adjective while in (b), flies is a noun and like is a verb. The
natural timing of the two are

(a) “Time (pause) flies like an arrow” (the underlines indicate stresses)
(b) “Fruit flies (pause) like (pause) a banana”
If the timing of (a) were changed to “Time files (pause) like an arrow” then time would be a
verb, flies would be a noun, and the sentence would have a very strange meaning (i.e., someone
with a stopwatch comparing the speed of insects to that of an arrow). It is easy to see how the in-
troduction of an independent musical rhythm could override the natural rhythm of speech, and
thus change the meaning.
There is another famous example which shows the important relationship between written com-
mas, and white space. A panda walks into a bar and orders some food. He consumes the food,
then pulls out a gun and fires in the air, and then exits the bar.
Someone asks, “What was that all about?”
Someone else answers “That was a Panda – it’s what they do.”
“What do you mean”, asks the first person.
The reply: “Look in the dictionary. It says ‘Panda: A black-and-white bear-like animal that
eats shoots and leaves’.”

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“Eats, Shoots and Leaves” is in fact is the title of a best-selling book by Lynne Truss (Gotham
Books ISBN 1592402038) which is about the importance of the comma and other punctuation.
Obviously, by adding a comma, “eats shoots and leaves” (verb noun and noun) becomes “eats,
shoots, and leaves” (verb, verb, and verb), with a very different cadence.
When speaking, we typically have three levels of “pause” in our cadence. When written, these
roughly are represented by a comma (one unit of pause), a semi-colon (two units of pause) and a
period (three units of pause). Lyrics are usually written without punctuation, however, in order to
see what the real cadence of the lyric should be, make sure you know where commas, semi-
colons and periods would go if written as normal sentences. This tells you how the words need to
mesh with the music.
Jim Stafford’s 1974 hit “My Girl Bill” made specific use of the comma effect by singing “She’s
my girl Bill”, instead of the actual meaning “She’s my girl , Bill”. The story as told in the verse
makes it clear that the singer is talking about his girl to a guy named Bill, but I still remember all
the buzz around the song and so many people wondering about the gender of Bill.
Even if the meaning of a line is not changed deviating from a normal spoken rhythm can make a
phrase sound odd and unnatural. A common example is our National Anthem. The first line, “O
say can you see”, sings quite naturally. The second time this melody is repeated, however, we
have “Whose broad stripes and bright stars…”. When spoken, we would say:
Whose broad stripes and bright stars,

where broad and stripes receive equal stress and equal time, with a distinct gap in between.
However, since the music of The Star Spangled Banner is written in 9/8 (yes, it’s 9/8, not 3/4), it
has a natural swing, which means that notes (and thus words and syllables) less than one beat in
length are not evenly spaced. They occur in a ratio of two-to-one. Thus, the words whose and
stripes are held twice as long as broad, and both are accented while broad is not. This varies so
much from the natural speech that it doesn’t sing well. It is sometimes played in straight 3/4 time
which is easier to sing. This is a great example of the difference between poetry and lyrics – the
Star Spangled banner was initially written as a poem “Defense of Fort McHenry” in 1814 by
Francis Scott Key. The poem was then set to the melody of a popular British men’s club song
typically attributed to John Stafford Smith, written for the Anacreontic Society, called “The
Anacreontic Song”. Thus, the music was not actually composed to fit the words we know.

The Oronym Will Get You If You Don’t Watch Out

(See also Phonetic Ambiguity in Chapter 15)

As if the elements of stress and white space weren’t enough to contend with, songwriters also
face the specter of the oronym. This is one of the worst things that can result from altered stress
or white space, in conjunction with lax enunciation. An oronym is a mishearing of a group of
words so that they sound exactly like a different group of words which may make sense by them-
selves, but don’t belong in your song. Oronyms are also commonly called “mondegreens”, a term
coined by columnist Sylvia Wright in 1954.
Oronyms usually occur by elision, a singing technique which results in flowing the end of one

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word seamlessly to the beginning of the next. Choral singers are often taught to do this for pur-
poses of better rhythmic unison in the ensemble, but for solo vocals in popular music, you usu-
ally want just the opposite, for clear enunciation of all consonants.
For example:, your lyric says: “Can’t you see that I love you?” In normal spoken language, it
would be

“Can’t you see that I love you” (as opposed to fear you or despise you)

This is a rhythm which subdivides all pulses into twos instead of threes. It is an even tempo, with
no swing.)
OR
“Can’t you see that I love you” (as opposed to me loving anyone else…)

This is clear and unambiguous. However, if it’s put to a rhythm and stress pattern of:
“Can’t you see that I love you”

(this is 12/8 rhythm which subdivides all pulses into threes instead of twos. It swings. Each quar-
ter note plus the next eighth note makes a group of three pulses.)
Is there a problem with this version? Well, not if you read it on a page like this, or in sheet
music. But if it is being heard by an audience for the first time, the rhythm and accents will sug-
gest a hearing of “Can’t you see that aisle of view”. Obviously, not what you meant.
How about this fine line: “The stuff he knows just blows me away…”. Without a distinct stop
between the second and third words, the lyric leaves us cold (or with a cold) as we hear “The
stuffy nose just blows me away…” Upon hearing this, a critiquer said to the writer “Are you
aware of the words you just uttered?”, to which the writer replied indignantly “What words did I
just stutter?” Those little pauses between words really are of the utmost importance.
I recall a nicely produced demo of a cowboy’s lament at the loss of the buffaloes. The line “it
was the biggest herd I’d ever seen” drew chuckles from the listeners. Obviously they thought it
was the biggest turd he’d ever seen. As we go prospecting for golden oronyms, here’s some more
(or is that some ore?) Well—here are some others I’ve seen (or is that some mothers?) A lovely
wedding song told about “White shoes the groom wore…”, but to the audience it was a protest
song that asked “Why choose the groom war?”
Seriously, oronyms are very easy to introduce and very difficult for the writer to detect, simply
because you, as the writer know what you wrote and the singer knows what was sung. Only an
impartial listener can tell you how it comes across. In some cases, with enough practice and
awareness, you can detect potentially troublesome phrases, but the real test is playing the song
for people (the Role of the Sounding Board) and asking if they understand what you’re talking

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about in your lyric. All it takes to correct many oronyms is very clear enunciation, with distinct
stops between words (i.e. no elision). Those which are caused by misplaced accents or mis-
matched rhythms require some rewriting.
In the Rupert Holmes song “Timothy” about three starving men trapped in a caved in-mine, the
producers and/or the singer were aware of the importance of enunciation. On the record, you can
clearly hear the over-pronunciation of the final ‘t’ in the line “Joe said that he would sell his soul
for just a piece of meat...”. Without that final ‘t’, the last word is heard as “me” which actually
makes perfect sense in this song, but totally destroys the foreshadowing and building of a climax.
Pieces written to be sung by large choral groups (churches or school choirs) frequently have mis-
aligned white space because of the need to sing with elision (merging words together) and to
keep the unit rhythmically together. Unfortunately, it’s often not the same as speaking rhythm
and thus sounds musically lovely but sometimes linguistically awkward.

An Intentional Oronym (or is that Unintentional Oronym?)

Oronyms can be a great humor device There are whole websites devoted to them, but when
you’re trying to convey a clear message in your lyrics, avoid them like chicken pox.
You’ve no doubt heard the Hendrix lyric “kiss the sky”—or is that “kiss this guy?” Unintentional
oronyms abound in all genres. I recall a children’s story about animals where the emphasis, for
educational purposes, was on exotic animals with unusual names (Kookaburra, Kinkajou, Oryx,
Ounce, etc.). There was also an animal called a Rass. In this tale, a woman is walking along lead-
ing one of these creatures on a leash so it won’t run away. A child asks “Why is she holding her
rass so tight? Oh well…
This property of our language has been used intentionally many times to create desirable humor-
ous effects in songs and stories. The playwright Tennessee Williams, in “The Glass Menagerie”,
has a girl character being asked why she is called “Blue Roses?” She replies that when she was a
child, she was ill with “pleurosis”. The frame of reference of your audience and how you set up
the key words makes a big difference in what they think they are hearing. We all know about the
‘girl with kaleidoscope eyes’ but an elderly woman asked why Mr. Lennon was saying that the
‘girl with colitis goes by’.
Oronyms are powerful and useful when used for advertising and promotion. A large chain of
stores for pets is PETSMART. Pet’s Mart? or Pet Smart? Either one works in a positive way and
you potentially get two penetrations into the consumer consciousness instead of just one. A pop-
ular dog treat is Beggin’ Strips, making use of the easily mis-heard ‘Bacon Strips’.
Oronym—Bull lyric? Or a nimble lyric? Either way, a key point to be made about this entire dis-
cussion of metrics is that the concepts presented herein are tools primarily for the analysis and
correction of problems, not for the initial fleshing out of a song idea. If you feel your intuition
leading you, follow it. When you have a final draft, or you have received some feedback indicat-
ing a problem, then you may choose to look with the highly analytical techniques presented here.
Don’t let analysis hinder your creative flow.
By keeping the concepts of accent alignment and white space in your awareness as you craft a

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song, you’ll find that your intuitive side and analytical side begin to work together simultane-
ously, giving you better end products with less grunt work. If you find a specific problem that
needs specific analysis and correction, then let the toolkit come to the forefront of your aware-
ness and try a purely analytical approach. Just as it is possible to overproduce a song, it is possi-
ble to overanalyze a song. As with most things, finding the right balance for yourself is the key
to maximizing your efforts. If you find that you have absolutely no facility or desire to analyze
syllables and accents and spaces, then by at least being aware of its importance, you can seek out
a colleague, collaborator , or Sounding Board who can do it for you.
It is helpful to know all the common meters and what they sound like. Here they are:

TABLE OF COMMON RHYTHMIC METERS

4/4—(ONE-and TWO-and THREE-and FOUR-and) Four counts per mea-

sure, each subdivided into two (duple meter) i.e., quarter notes divide
into eighth notes, and eighth notes divide into sixteenths, etc. Triplets
put three evenly spaced notes in the space of two. This meter cannot
swing.
3/4—(ONE-and TWO-and THREE-and) Three beats per measure, each sub-
divided into two. All spacing is even, with no swing. (Listen to
“Piano Man”, by Billy Joel, or the Blue Danube Waltz, by Johann
Strauss)
6/8—(ONE-two-three FOUR-five-six) Six counts per measure, making two
groups of three This is equivalent to 2/4 time where each beat is sub-
divided into three. Because it is usually used at slower tempos, beats
two and five are either not rests, or if they are, the ‘swing’ effect is
not perceived because of the slow tempo. (Listen to “House of the
Rising Sun”, as recorded by the Animals, “What a Wonderful
World” as recorded by Louis Armstrong, or “Show Me the Way” as
recorded by Styx)
12/8—(ONE-and-uh TWO-and-uh THREE-and-uh FOUR-and-uh) Twelve
pulses per measure, usually counted as four groups of three. This is
the result if 6/8 time (above) is speeded up to a fast tempo, or if 4/4
time subdivides every quarter note into three instead of two (i.e., a
triplet on every beat). This is typical ‘swing’ rhythm, when the sec-
ond pulse of each group of three is a rest, creating a spacing effect of
2 to 1. The 2 to 1 ratio is the definition of swing. Sometimes incor-
rectly notated as 4/4 with dotted notes.

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9/8—(ONE-and-uh Two-and-uh Three-and-Uh) Nine pulses per measure,
usually counted as three groups of three. This is typically used for a
swing effect in what would otherwise be 3/4 time. Note that beats
two and three are usually secondary accents, softer than the down-
beat. (Listen to “Go Now” by the Moody Blues or “Mr. Bojangles”
as recorded by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band)
NOTE: Don’t always go by what you see written on sheet music – rhythms are often inaccurate,
frequently indicating duple when it is really tuple (e.g., 3/4 instead of 9/8).
There are of course many other unusual timings such as 5/4, 7/4, etc.. These are infrequently
used in most mainstream genres, but are more prevalent in jazz-related styles.
You can clearly hear 5/4, 7/4 and 11/4 in sections of the rock opera “Jesus Christ, Superstar”. In
most cases, these kinds of rhythms are alternating groups of the simpler rhythms given above,
e.g., 5/4 is usually 6/8 plus 2/4; 7/4 may be 4/4 plus 3/4; etc.. For lots of interesting rhythmic
variations, listen to the music of Jethro Tull.
When using or writing sheet music, the rhythms which use subdivisions of three are often written
using subdivisions of two, with dotted notes. This, however produces a three- to-one ratio instead
of the desired two-to-one. It is assumed that a performance instruction saying to ‘swing’ will be
correctly interpreted by the performer, who must then mentally convert the 3-to-1 ratios to 2-to-
1. If you see this, realize that the piece is really in 12/8 if the music says 4/4, or that the piece is
in 9/8 if the music says 3/4. If you are writing sheet music or having it written for you, or if you
converse with collaborators, do yourself and your music a great service by using the accurate 6/8,
9/8, or 12/8 time signatures when you mean it, not 2/4, 3/4 or 4/4 with ‘swing’. The widespread
misunderstanding of what swing really means is seen in much of the computer sequencing soft-
ware where there is a “feature” allowing you control the “degree of swing”. Musically and rhyth-
mically, there is no such thing as “degree of swing. It’s a 2-to-1 ratio. Period. Anything else is
not swing, but is instead some other time signature.
Being able to quickly and easily identify downbeats in all time signatures is a basic and es-
sential songwriting skill for BOTH music and lyrics.

Exercises:
1. Listen to “Point of Know Return” by Kansas and count along until you can easily find all the
downbeats. Acknowledge each downbeat with some physical gesture. Try it for the Blood Sweat
and Tears recording of “God Bless the Child”, “Go Your Own Way” by Fleetwood Mac, “All
You Need is Love” by the Beatles, and “Psychotic Reaction” by Count Five. Pick a couple of
songs from your own collection that have interesting rhythms and follow the downbeats, noting
them with some physical motion.
2. Listen to the following songs, find the downbeats and identify the time signature(s):
(the answers are on our website at www.songcrafterscoloringbook.com)

House of the Rising Sun (recorded by the Animals)

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Go Now (recorded by the Moody Blues)
Mr. Bojangles (recorded by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band; – hint: it’s NOT 3/4).
Everybody Wants to Rule the World (recorded by Tears for Fears)
Hold the Line (recorded by Toto)
Piano Man (recorded by Bill Joel)
Theme song from “Mission Impossible”
Carry On Wayward Son (recorded by Kansas)
Bohemian Rhapsody (recorded by Queen)
Everything’s Alright (from “Jesus Christ, Superstar”)
Turn the World Around (recorded by Harry Belafonte or Bill Harley)
Change Partners (recorded by Stephen Stills)
Living in the Past (recorded by Jethro Tull)
Green-Eyed Lady (recorded by Sugarloaf)
I’m Free (recorded by The Who, from “Tommy”)
Tubular Bells (theme song from “The Exorcist”)

3. An example of a commercial hit which expertly handles of all the complexities of metrics and
white space is Billy Joel’s “Tell Her About It”. The song is a conversation between the singer
and the listener, using very conversational and fairly complex cadences, all perfectly fit to a fast-
paced 12/8 rhythm. Check it out. There is one wrenched accent in the song. See if you can find it.
Along with the basic musical meters given above, it is also helpful to know all the basic language
accent patterns (feet). Here they are:

TABLE OF COMMON LANGUAGE ACCENT PATTERNS (feet)

Since we are dealing with lyrics as opposed to poetry, these must be considered in relation to un-
derlying musical patterns. Thus, accent patterns which begin with a LOUD syllable must also
begin on the first pulse of any beat, or fall on a syncopation. A foot which begins with a soft syl-
lable cannot begin on a syncopation and must begin on something other than the first subdivision
of a beat, creating an anacrusis, which leads up to the accent (i.e., ‘kicking the can’, as described
above). Also important to note is that the table given here covers all the feet typically found in
poetry or spoken language. However, when considering feet as being aligned with musical ac-
cents, accounting for rests and white space, a lyrical phrase may not exhibit the same pattern as
that same phrase with no music involved. This shown in the first example below, “a big balloon”,
which when spoken, requires a pause between “big” and “bal-”. In poetic meter, that pause has
no significance, but in lyrical meter, that pause takes up a musical pulse a forces the phrase to
swing. Finally, note that only in patters where two LOUD syllables are separated from each other
by at least one soft syllable (or rest) can there be a swing. Consecutive primary accents (LL) can-
not swing. Swing requires a spacing ratio of 2 to 1.

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Exercise:
Make a list of five 2-syllable words with the accents on the first syllable, then a list of five with
the accent on the second syllable. Then do the same for three-syllable words, making three lists
(LOUD-soft-soft, soft-LOUD-soft, and soft-soft-LOUD). Then try your hand at doing four lists
of four-syllable words.
Here are some candidates for each of the 4-syllable lists:
accent on syllable 1: seriousness, humorously
accent on syllable 2: insecticide, commendable, aluminum
accent on syllable 3: jalapeno, Casablanca, geriatric, orthopedic
accent on syllable 4: avoirdupois, will-o’-the-wisp, aperitif
Consider: Why does the word “botulism”, which has 4 syllables with the accent on the first, flow
so differently than “seriousness” or” humorously” which are also 4 syllables with accent on the
first? (Hint: tatterdemalion vs. tintinnabulation)
Feeling brave? Go for 5-syllables. Here are some examples:
accent on syllable 1: cannibalism
accent on syllable 2: decapitated, insufferable

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 accent on syllable 3: confrontational, complementary
accent on syllable 4: tyrannosaurus, Ecclesiastes
accent on syllable 5: bouleversement, supercarburant
(Note the difference between ‘cannibalism’ and ‘confrontational’ – both 5 syllables, very differ-
ent timing.)

We have just gone through a long and technical discussion of the intricacies of fitting words to
music, but as with all guidelines, techniques and tools, it’s important to keep perspective on
when they are essential and when they are optional. This discussion centers primarily on popular
song forms where the writer’s intent is to convey an idea, emotion or message through the lyrics.
In those cases, all metrical considerations are essential. Ballads, story-songs, and show tunes fall
largely into this area, because the lyrics are often narrative or conversational.

Can’t We All Just …. Sing Along?

To see the contrast between when these guidelines are and are not applied, think of some com-
mon song genres where a primary purpose is to allow a group of untrained singers to sing along,
e.g., Church Hymns, or Christmas Carols (which are really Church Hymns). An important ele-
ment in Church Hymns is to have an exact syllable count so that the melody is precisely the same
from verse to verse, making it easy for an untrained choir and congregation to sing. Look at the
lines in the second verse of “Joy to the World” (the Christmas carol, not the Three Dog Night
song). It’s a 1719 poem set to music in 1839 thus, the words and music were not originally writ-
ten for each other.
Joy to the World, the Savior reigns
Let men their songs employ
While fields and floods,
Rocks, hills, and plains
Repeat the sounding joy…
Here, the required white space between two consecutive accented syllables “rocks” and “hills” is
absent, smashing those words together to produce “rock sills”. If “rocks” were one eighth-note
sooner, there would be exactly even white space between “floods”, “rocks”, and “hills”, which
matches the normal speaking rhythm, but then the corresponding lines in the first verse, which
are correct as they stand (Let every heart/prepare him room), would be out of sync. (Typically
with church hymns, the first verse is written first, and then the subsequent verses are made to
match it.)
The syllable counts of that line in each verse matches exactly, making for easy singing, but
wouldn’t it be even nicer to sing if it didn’t have “rock sills” in it? In “The First Noel”, a tradi-
tional English carol, we encounter the opposite problem, i.e., too much white space:
The First Noel, the angels did say
Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay;

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In fields where they lay keeping their sheep
On a cold winter’s night that was so deep…
I’m sure you picked the third line as the offender. The natural spoken pause would fall between
“lay” and “keeping”, but the music forces an inordinate amount of white space between “they”
and “lay”, creating a sense of enjambment when there really isn’t one. Despite this and the sev-
eral very wrenched accents in the fourth verse of this carol (in HIS pre-SENCE), it is still a
widely sung and much loved song, but the considerations for choral singing are not the same as
for genres where songs are primarily for mainstream listening and communication of new mes-
sages.
Having written a great deal of church music myself, I find that the constraint imposed by trying
to get all the metrics perfectly correct, while maintaining a conversational tone is not a simple
challenge. Avoiding forced rhymes and stilted grammar, while having interesting, meaningful,
singable lyrics and melodies is a difficult task, but it’s incredibly satisfying when achieved.
Here is a song I wrote for church choir which gets all the syllables and accents right, has an exact
syllable count, maintains a rhyme scheme, and conveys the message I wanted to communicate.
As simple as this may seem on paper, it was not at all easy, as it took four pages of scribbles and
a dozen aborted verses before getting it right.
Inherit the Earth (words and music by Bill Pere)
Sunlight shines on my face, I feel your hand, O Lord
Moon glow lights up this place, the feeling’s grand, O Lord
Raindrops falling from space to feed the land, O Lord
This world spins by your grace, I understand, O Lord
Worlds spin through creation and birth
Children shall Inherit The Earth
Help us leave a legacy worth what they deserve…
Morning light never fails, your love is bright, O Lord
Evening spreads out the veils that bring the night, O Lord
White clouds billow like sails, I watch their flight, O Lord
This world’s delicate scales, I’ll keep them right, O Lord
(Repeat Chorus)
Birds sing in trees standing tall, a song you share, O Lord
Sea life, and creatures that crawl, now I’m a -ware, O Lord
All things, no matter how small, they’re in my care, O Lord
Your love encompasses all, It’s everywhere, O Lord
(Repeat Chorus)

In the genre of children’s music, all the points of the previous discussion apply as well. Some of
the primary goals of children’s songs are to entertain, to develop basic music skills, and/or to ed-
ucate children about something through the lyric content. Children may not yet be consciously
sensitive to misplaced accents or white space, and thus are a very forgiving audience. However,

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they are still being sent subtle messages about what makes up a song, and should the day come
that they may want to write their own, they’ll think it’s okay to bend words into unnatural forms.
For some consistently good children’s writing, check out the recordings of Tom Chapin, Bill
Harley, and Les Julian.
No matter what your ultimate goal is for a song, and no matter what the style, there’s no reason
not to strive to make it the best it can be – that elusive Perfect 10. So, if as a songwriter, you’re
still green and it gives you the blues and makes you see red and yell “Oh!”, attention to white
space and metrics will help you write songs that can put you in the black.

CASE STUDY – How It All Works in Practice

All this stuff doesn’t matter a bit unless it can actually help you write better songs. Think back to
Figure 1, “Anatomy of a Song”—remember that when all is said and done, each of the elements
there has to be accounted for in some way, even if it to consciously decide that a particular para-
meter is not important for the song you’re working on. What does not matter is the order in
which all these things come together. Everyone’s process of creating and crafting is different,
and things may be addressed at different times in the process.
Here’s a real and practical example of how several of these prosodic and semantic concepts came
together in a recent song I was working on: I was flipping through the dictionary as I often do,
looking for interesting words or inspirations. I came upon the word “coruscate”, which means “
to give forth flashes of light; to sparkle and glitter”. It made me think of my wife’s beautiful
hazel and golden eyes. Soon I had this much of a chorus:
Coruscate, shimmering, shining and glimmering
There in your eyes,
Coruscate, ephemeral glow of an emerald,
(_?_) (_?_) (_?_) (_?_) (_?_) (_?_)
And along with this came a melody and chord progression., giving me:

Now you might see where this is heading—the phrasing of the music was speaking pretty
strongly to me that it wanted to be as you see it written above (i.e. in this particular instance, the

169
music was coming faster than the lyrics – often the case for my particular creative process). This
meant that my last line of the chorus had to fit that phrasing and accent pattern – six syllables,
accents on the third an sixth, white space as written above, rhyme with “eyes”, fit the meaning,
and stay in the semantic field. That in a nutshell is one of the classic challenges of songwriting –
finding that last word or phrase to complete an otherwise finished picture. It’s like painting your-
self in a corner, but knowing there’s a secret way out, if only you can find it.
So we now have to put on our crafting hat and find the right words. First, finding the rhyming
partner for “eyes”: All the words ending in “–ize “, e.g.” idolize”, are out because the accent on
the last syllable would be wrenched (e.g., we don’t want i-dol-IZE). For 2-syllable words, “arise”
or “surprise” (soft-LOUD) would work, metrically and semantically, while “chastise” (LOUD-
soft) would not. So it is not enough just to have the right rhyming sound – the metric pattern
must also fit. Of course we can always use single syllable words like “flies”. The first 2 syllables
of the phrase probably need to be something like “in a”, or “in your” or something like that.
After a period of scribbling and crossing out, I decided on trying to make the phrase “In __ __ __
__ skies”, since this seemed to fit the meaning and semantic field. So now I’m down to four syl-
lables, accent on the second one. I could do something like “In the cloudless blue skies” or “In
the bright morning skies”, but those have white space issues (e.g., “blue” and “skies” are too
close), and they don’t sing well off the tongue. Ideally, a beautifully descriptive and cool-sound-
ing four-syllable word with a second-syllable accent would be the ideal solution.
Thinking of “skies” and the needed accents and meaning, I came up with the word “cerulean”,
which had all the qualifications of a good candidate. It should have made me ecstatic, but there
were two problems—First, one of my signature songs written many years ago is called “Cerulean
Blue” – distinctive enough so that I really can’t use the word again without copying myself and
diluting the special status of the existing song. Second, as beautiful as the word is, it refers to
blue, when the reality is that I’m writing about green eyes (emerald) with a gold background. I
needed a word like ‘“cerulean” that I have not used before and which conveys gold. I didn’t
know any.
In situations like this, I sleep on it, go for a run and ruminate on it, and think about it during TV
commercials. Nothing was coming. So it was back to my shelf of linguistic reference books, i.e.
specialty dictionaries and thesauri. In addition to the usual printed books, I have software called
the Visual Thesaurus by ThinkMap, which shows visual web-like relationships between the
meaning of words. I started looking around, particularly for words beginning with “au” since that
usually means a connection to the Latin word for gold, “aurum”. I eventually came upon the per-
fect word to solve the puzzle:
“Aurelian”: like a chrysalis, when reflecting a brilliant golden color, as that of some butterflies.
And the final chorus is:
Coruscate, shimmering, shining and glimmering
There in your eyes,
Coruscate, ephemeral glow of an emerald,
In aurelian skies
I could easily have made the choice to settled for a wrenched accent, incorrect white space, or a
less focused semantic field, but knowing about all those things kept my Eyes-Wide-Open to
searching for better solutions.

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The Von Restorff Effect: Friend or Foe?

One last question that flows from discussions like that just above: I’m often asked if it’s “good”
to use unusual words in a song. One of my idea-generating techniques is to just flip through the
dictionary looking for interesting words with a combination of sound and meaning that lends it-
self to a song. I’ve come up with some of my best lines this way
While creativity is never a question of “good” or “bad”, there is a result which usually occurs,
and which is usually desirable when using unusual words. If I ask a room of 50 people what song
they think of when I say the word “love”, I get 50 different answers. But when I ask what song
they think of when I say “centrifugal”, there is pretty much total agreement: “This Kiss” (written
by Robin Lerner, Annie Roboff and Beth Nielsen Chapman, recorded by Faith Hill) Why? The
word is unusual and is not found in very many other songs. The song has co-opted ownership of
that word by placing it in a very highlighted position in the song, as part of a string of four lines
using the words “centrifugal”, “perpetual”, “that pivotal”, “impossible” – all 4-syllable
words/phrases with the SAME accent pattern of soft-LOUD-soft-soft. It’s an example of this
chapter in action.
It is a well-known cognitive process called the Von Restorff Effect, whereby that which is un-
usual stands out and is most easily remembered. A word written in red ink in a list of all green
entries will be the most easily recalled. A great musical guideline is to always use at least one un-
expected chord in your song, and similarly, the unexpected, unusual word in a lyric is going to be
a ‘grabber’. Just don’t overdo it.
Ask a group what song they think of when they hear the word “Kilimanjaro? – the #1 answer
will probably be “Africa”, from Toto, written by J. Porcaro and D. Paich. How about the word
“Vegemite”? You can bet on “Land Down Under” from Men at Work, written by Colin Hay and
Ron Strykert.
With careful choice and placement of unusual words, you can brand your song the way “This
Kiss” has taken ownership of the word “centrifugal”. In today’s competitive music market where
attention is key, your songs either stand out or they’re invisible. When applying this to your writ-
ing, always stay mindful of clarity and klang – the listener does not have to know exactly what
the word means as long as you provide enough additional context to make the overall meaning
clear, and as long as the word does not sound similar enough to a more common word so as to
cause unwanted association.
Now in Chapter 20, we’ll move on to linking cadence and white space to musical rhythm.

-----------------------------------------------
For an even more in-depth look at the rhythm of speech, see the book “Stress and Non-stress Ac-
cent”, by Mary E. Beckman, Walter de Gruyter 1986 ISBN 906765244X
For a great book on applying the Von Restorff effect to any type of marketing, read “Purple
Cow: Transform Your Business by Being Remarkable” by Seth Godin
For the ultimate example of intentional oronyms, see the Charlton Laird version of “Little Red

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Riding Hood” (Ladle Rat Rotten Hut), originally published in “Language in America” (1970,
World Publishing Company)

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 Chapter 20: Rhythm and the Theory of Relativity
“I sometimes ask myself how it came about that I was the one to develop the theory of rela-
tivity. The reason, I think, is that a normal adult never stops to think about problems of space
and time. These are things which he has thought about as a child.” – Albert Einstein

We’ll take a moment here to discuss one of the five music parameters, because it also is directly
related to our discussion of prosodic parameters in lyrics. As you’ve probably guessed from the
preceding chapters, that parameter is rhythm. That ever-present musical pulse is the difference
between lyrical metrics and poetry metrics. Of the five major music parameters, rhythm is the
one that gives the most people the most trouble.
Not only does the equation e=mc2 reveal many secrets of the universe, but it reveals the secrets
of rhythm as well. In the decades that I have been working with clients in music theory, composi-
tion, rhythm and songwriting, the most prevalent stumbling block is rhythm, because unlike mu-
sical distance, which is a learned set of rules and conventions, rhythm is something that is largely
internal and is felt intuitively (even though it is mathematical and precise, it’s “rules” are not as
easy to state as those for musical intervals, and it involves mental and physical multi-tasking in
real-time, i.e. the internal processing of simultaneous equations).
One can be born with a great sense of rhythm, as it is tied to the way we perceive and process
time internally. It is possible to teach the mechanics of rhythm, but if the natural internal process
is absent, it often lacks the fluid feel and flow of a natural born rhythm sense. Another way to say
it is that if you ask some people to let you know when an hour has passed, they will just “know”
because of an internal clock, while others must rely on an external clock. The former cannot be
taught, as it is an innate ability. But there are ways of thinking about rhythm that may help make
it less mysterious.
Just as there are ways that our eyes group small units into larger ones, our ears can group units of
time into patterns as well. This property of our visual sense is studied in the area of Gestalt psy-
chology. In the world of the auditory sense, it is rhythm. On a TV screen, where pictures are
made up of hundreds of dots and lines, we perceive the patterns as meaningful images. If you
look real close at the TV screen, you see the individual dots and lines. The strings of letters on
this page are grouped as words because of the space between them. If you look at the following
figure:
• • • •
• • • •

you probably first see two units, implying two squares, as opposed to
••••••••

where you see eight individual dots (or perhaps a single straight line…). Similarly, our hearing
system groups pulses of time into units of twos or threes, and strings them together to make
larger patterns and different levels. Thus, a song can have each musical beat consisting of two

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smaller notes, with three of those groups per measure, as in 3/4 time, or each beat consisting of
three, smaller notes, with two of those groups per measure, as in 6/8 time, or any other combina-
tion of twos and threes (4/4, 12/8, 9/4. etc.). The 3x2 versus 2x3 grouping is what makes the dif-
ference between 3/4 and 6/8 even though they both have 6 pulses per measure.
A grouping is defined by the number of pulses between successive strong (accented) pulses. In
3/4 you hear 3 groupings. In 6/8, you hear 2 groupings. The top number of a time signature tells
us how many beats are in the whole measure, and the bottom one tells us which kind of note gets
one full beat, but the subdivisions of that basic note value are not told to us. We have to hear or
feel them in the rhythm. The “real” rhythm of a piece of music usually lies one level below what
the time signature says.
One of the reasons that this grouping process can cause so much trouble for people is that it can-
not occur by itself. It only has meaning as rhythm when it is simultaneously compared to another
frame of time. Here is where the theory of relativity can help us understand what the problem is
and how to address it. Let’s look at two examples before we look at rhythm.
Consider two men, each holding a tennis ball. They are floating motionless in the air in a state of
weightlessness. They let go of the tennis ball, and it just floats there where they let go of it. Obvi-
ously, it sounds like these men are in outer space, where such a thing would happen. Well, one of
them is, but the other is in an elevator which has just broken loose from its cable and is free-
falling from the top of a tall building. Since the man in the elevator cannot see the outside world
(i.e., no external reference), it seems to him that he is floating motionless in the air, and since the
tennis ball falls at exactly the same rate, it appears to float, and the man feels weightless. But to
an observer outside the elevator, it is clear that the man is on the expressway to the Pearly Gates.
The man in outer space can be said to be motionless, or floating slowly with respect to the earth
and stars, but to an observer very far away (i.e., in the next galaxy), the man and the tennis ball
are moving very rapidly along with the entire Milky Way Galaxy, as it spins (i.e., the entire
galaxy is like the elevator). Thus, two scenes which appear the same are in fact different, but
only when viewed from perspectives relative to another frame of reference. This is the theory of
relativity, and the example is a physical equivalent of rhythm perception. Now let’s look at an
example which is the visual equivalent of rhythm.
“Ores tabit fortis arare placeto restat” This seems like an old Latin saying…or so most people
believe at first. We clearly can group the letters into units that look like words, but we have no
external frame of reference which gives them any sense. Well, let’s just rearrange the grouping a
bit…same order of letters, different spacing:
“O rest a bit, for ‘tis a rare place to rest at”.

Suddenly, old Latin becomes Olde English and makes sense. The only thing that changed was
the starting and ending points of the groups. In the language of rhythm, the starting and ending
points of each musical measure must be clearly understood, or the rhythm doesn’t make sense to
our ears.
Consider this: PSFT UBCJU GPSUJT BSBSF QMBDFUP SFTUBU. Nonsense of course
—except if you shift the frame of reference. If the entire alphabet were shifted one letter to the
left, such that C becomes B, B becomes A, etc., then that nonsense phrase becomes “Ores tabit

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fortis arare placeto restat”, the same as above. The only difference was its position relative to an
outside frame of reference, in this case, the alphabet.
All of the above applies exactly the same way to pulses of time, which we call rhythm. As a
rhythm is being listened to or performed, a constant unheard clock (internal metronome) is mark-
ing off each beat. We also need to know how many beats are in each measure (i.e., are we count-
ing by 3 or 4 or 6?), what the subdivision of each count is (2 or 3), how the pulses are grouped in
the measure (8 pulses can be 4+4 or 3+5), and also, where in the measure everything started.
This last point is very important because if a piece starts on the second beat of a measure, the
first thing the listener hears is interpreted as “one” instead of “two”, thus, even if the listener
counts the correct number of beats per measure, “one” in their mind winds up falling where
“two” should be, just like the above example where “B” was always falling where “A” should
be. The result? Rhythmic nonsense.
This occurs because each musical time signature has an inherent pattern of strong and weak
beats. In 4/4 time, Beat 1 is the strongest, then beat 3, then 2, and lastly, 4. This relationship
holds true in any 4/4 grouping, whether quarter notes, eighth-notes, half notes, or full measures
(e.g. in a 4-measure phrase, measures one and three are strong bars, and measures 2 and 4 are
weak bars.)
When you overlay a rhythm on top of this inherent structure that is different, like the standard
rock back-beat (loud snares on the weak beats, 2 and 4), you create rhythmic tension and grab at-
tention. Well-used, it makes us get up and move. Poorly used, it makes us throw up and move
away.
In my early songwriting/performing days, I had a song which started with an eighth-note rest.
Thus, the first thing a listener would hear was the second eighth-note of the measure, and it took
them several lines to finally get back in sync. Of course, in my head, I was providing the mental
count of “one” to start things off, but I was the only one who had the right frame of reference (I
was outside the elevator, the listeners were in it). How to solve the problem? Tap four beats on
the guitar or do an audible count-off before hitting the first chord. Then everyone has been given
the same and correct external frame of reference.

If you look at the patterns : and they are the same except
for where in the cycle they start. If the first beat of the measure falls on instead of it is a dif-
ferent musical feel than the reverse. To line them up with an external frame of reference i.e., the
metronome, you get:

1&2&3&4& 1&2&3&4&

as opposed to

The first rhythm is heard in the percussion intro to “Bend Me Shape Me” as recorded by The
American Breed, and also is prominent in “No Time Like the Right Time”, as recorded by the
Blues Project. The second figure gets you “Jingle Bells”.

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Here is very striking example of the importance of the external frame of reference. Realizing the
downbeat of a measure (i.e. the “1” count) always gets a slight mental emphasis, Take the simple
rhythm . It doesn’t matter how this is grouped, as all the notes are the same value. How-
ever, hearing this figure in different places against the external frame of reference produces sig-
nificantly different results.
In the Jim Webb song “What A Lot of Flowers” (sung by Richard Harris on “The Love
Album”—listen to it to fully appreciate this example) the music is going along with a rhythm of :
1&2&3&4&1&2&3&4&

Then, Jim Webb inserts one measure of 5/8 time, and the odd eighth-note shifts the above pattern
by one space to the left, compensating for the missing second half of the third beat, which would
have made a 6/8 measure. This is just like the shifted alphabet in the above example. So now, the
same rhythm figure has a new external frame of reference. (We’ve moved from inside the eleva-
tor to outside of it) and we see/hear things very differently.
&1&2&3&4&1&2&3&4&

It may not look much different, but the musical effect is radically different. Tap it out while you
count aloud (keep the accent on the “1” count in both cases). This new rhythm (at twice the pace)
is what your hear in the bass intro to the Temptations “My Girl”.
Whether your write music, music and lyrics, or just lyrics, being able to hear the individual
rhythms of music and words over the silent but ever-present internal metronome is an essential
songwriting skill. Rhythm need not be such a mystery, an if you look it in these new ways, you
might find it less daunting than it really is. Albert Einstein played the violin, but then again, he
knew something about the theory of relativity.

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 Section II-C
THE PHONETIC PARAMETERS
(Chapters 21-22)

Chapter 21 : Sonic Activity -Making Your Songs Radio-Active

“Sometimes I don’t even know what people are saying when they sing. When I was younger,
it was phonetic; I liked the sound of the words much more so than the words.” – Eric Clapton
“Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jub-
jub bird, and shun the frumious Bandersnatch!” – “Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll
Definitions: Each place in a song where there is some phonetic entity to grab your ear is called a
“ping-point”. The sum total of all the ping-points in a song make up its “sonic activity”. The
higher the sonic activity of a song, the more it holds attention and etches itself into the listener’s
memory.

Identifying and Creating Ping-Points.

The semantic parameters in a lyric have to do with the meaning of the words and conveying your
message. Although clarity is a major element of effective and successful songwriting, we all
know songs where the lyrics are obscure in their meaning, or have no significant message, yet
still tend to “work” on some level. This is usually due to sonic activity – the structural and pho-
netic properties of words which are completely independent of their meaning. (NOTE: This does
not mean you should use sonic activity as a substitute for clarity of meaning - both together make
for an unbeatable combination and both are needed for that Perfect 10).
Think of certain moments in your life that were fleeting, perhaps just a second or two, yet they
generated a feeling that you remember to this day. Some of these might be: the moment you first
set eyes on the person who was destined to be “the one” in your life; the Christmas morning as a
child when you saw that present under the tree that you thought you’d never get; the instant you
had your first Spiritual connection with something greater than yourself; the first moment you set
eyes on something of incredible beauty like the Grand Canyon or the childlike wonder of Dis-
neyworld.
To this day, I recall the moments as a child when I’d walk into the corner Mom and Pop candy
shop after school and see the first issues of the Amazing Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four, the Jus-
tice League, and all those great comic books for the first time.
The moments were fleeting but the impressions were deep and lasting. That’s the same idea with
a ping-point in a song. How many moments can you recall when, hearing a song for the first
time, something in that song made you just tingle and feel an inner “wow”? I recall with total
clarity, sitting in the audience at Broadway shows. At “1776”, hearing the intricate sonic dance
of “Cool Cool Considerate Men”, and so many of the other great numbers, feeling a chill each
time, and remembering those key phrases long after the show was over. The cross-verse rhyming

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in “At the End of the Day” in “Les Miserables” was lyrical electricity. As a young kid, I was ab-
solutely spellbound by the phonetic frenzy of the lyrics from Tandyn Almer’s “Along Comes
Mary”.
In the musical “Wicked” the delightful freshness of the assonance and rhyme of “frank analy-
sis”/“personality dialysis”, and the semantic pivot of “I don’t know if I’ve been changed for the
better, but since I met you, I have been changed for good” hit with the high-voltage that etches
the moment into memory.
I vividly recall the first time I heard “A Whole New World” (from “Aladdin”), how the “splen-
did” and “when did” pair just jumped right out. And the indelible first line of “Higher Than
She’s Ever Been Before” by Jim Morgan , “Pretty Patty Peterson from Patterson New Jersey…”
And one of my all-time favorites from the Lee Adams lyrics in “Put on a Happy Face”, from the
musical “Bye Bye Birdie”:
Take off that gloomy mask of tragedy, It’s not your style.
You’ll look so good that you’ll be glad ya de-cided to smile!
These are the bits of songwriting magic that keep a listener spellbound. They go way beyond the
simplicity of a rhyming dictionary (no rhyming dictionary will show you “glad-ya-de-” as an op-
tion for rhyming with “tragedy”). These sonic gems come not just from the meaning of the
words, but from the physical sound of the words – their phonetic properties. The phonetic prop-
erties of words are distinct from their semantic properties. How they sound is generally indepen-
dent of what they mean (except for onomatopoeia). Obviously, when semantic AND sonic prop-
erties are both working at the same time, you’re well on your way to that Perfect 10.
If it’s not your natural instinct to hear and generate the specific types of things discussed below,
then practice listening to lyrics and picking out the ping-points. Then imitate.

Your Phonetic Crayons:

There are several phonetic properties which contribute to overall sonic activity, but the big guns
are rhyme, assonance, alliteration, para rhyme, and sonic reversal.
Rhyme = words or accented syllables where only the initial sound differs (i.e. the internal vowel
and final consonants of the accented syllable are identical) (over/clover; coming/strumming;
reusing/refusing;)
Assonance = words or accented syllables with identical vowel sound but different consonant
sounds preceding and following. (sign/time; gave/name). Sometimes referred to as near-rhyme,
assonance is an adjunct to, but not a substitute for, a perfect rhyme.
Alliteration = words or syllables with the same initial sound. (big/bear; choose/champ;
strong/street, inflate/reflect)
Para-rhyme = same initial and final consonants with a different vowel sound in between
(seem/same; tripping/trapping)
Sonic reversal (a subset of palindromes) = the same sound given in reverse. (lever/revel, lap/pal,

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stop/pots, car/rock. This differs from palindromes which only need to look the same backwards
and forwards, not necessarily have the same sounds, e.g. lane/elan , or the word “racecar”.
In addition to these primary tools, you have lexical repetition and Klang association, both dis-
cussed below, to add even more zing to your songs. If you master these elements in all their
forms and variations, you’ll be producing lyrics that really grab attention and stick in people’s
ears.
(For additional discussion of these phonetic elements, see: “The Songwriter’s Idea Book” by
Sheila Davis, Writers Digest Books 1992, and “The Essential Guide to Rhyming” by Pat Patti-
son, formerly known as: “Rhyming Techniques and Strategies”, Berklee Press, distributed by Hal
Leonard, 1992)
Although I write primarily for impact though meaning, I usually try to make the sonic activity
equally as important. Here’s an example of a high level of sonic activity I worked on in one of
my Christmas songs. In the five line chorus of this Christmas song, the key word, “ornament” is
permutated seven times, within other words and across multiple words, while maintaining even
cadence and semantic sense.
Ornament (words and music by Bill Pere)

Ornament, a child was born, it meant a—a

No more lament in the world tonight a—b
In the morn it meant for the poor was sent a—a
A new wonderment with the star’s ascent a—a
Sound the horn, present the good news a—c

Exercise: Identifying Ping-Points

Look at this simple verse from “Rain Dance”, a hit from the Guess Who. See if you can identify
all the points of sonic activity. There are several subtle ones. Many of the Guess Who album
cuts, from Burt Cummings, Randy Bachman, and Kurt Winter, are a series of concrete images
and specific references, but without a clear overarching metaphor, controlling image, or story.
They are essentially impossible to interpret accurately, yet they tickle the listener’s ear with won-
derful cascades of sonic activity. Coupled with fresh, yet singable melodies, they are examples of
how songs lacking in clarity can still generate appeal through phonetic elements. It should be
noted however that the biggest hits from the Guess Who all did have overarching metaphors
(“American Woman”, “Glamour Boy”) or clarity of message or situation (“Share the Land”,
“These Eyes”).
See if you can find all the ping-points before looking at the answer.

Rain Dance (words and music by Burt Cummings and Kurt Winter)
Christopher was asking the astronomer

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Can your telescope tell me where the sun’s gone?
I’m still sittin’ with my next door neighbor sayin
“Where’d you get the gun John?”

Here is that same verse with the ping-points and rhyme scheme identified. As you can see, there
is very high sonic activity.

That third line alone contains triple alliteration on “s”; assonance and a sonic reversal on still/sit;
alliteration on “n”; a perfect rhyme back to the previous line with your/door; and a perfect inter-
nal rhyme with neigh/say.
Here’s another example showing effective use of alliteration, assonance, and rhyme from the
bridge of “If My Mary Were Here” by Harry Chapin, enhancing lyrics which are already clear
and filled with emotion.

I could whistle up an old tune babe that your memory just might recall (a)
Rustle up some reminisce, ‘bout the good old days and all (a)
If I were seekin’ someone else, I could find a place to hide (b)
But I’m just pleading like a pauper babe, (c)
And it leaves no place for pride… (b)
High sonic activity coupled with clarity of meaning is a winning combination. If you reduce the
importance of melody to zero and increase the importance of sonic activity, you have the essence
of rap and hip-hop. Good hip-hop writing is built on sonic activity. Great hip-hop writing adds a
clearly communicated message.
It is no coincidence that so many of the made-up, iconic names in our pop culture have high
sonic activity: Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Betty Boop, Porky Pig, Roger Rabbit, Clark Kent,
Lois Lane, Lex Luthor, Peter Parker, J. Jonah Jameson, Wonder Woman, Hulk Hogan, Gorgeous
George, Captain Kirk, Andy Panda, Blue Blazer, Silk Spectre, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Chubby
Checker, Big Bopper, Deputy Dawg, Quick-Draw McGraw, Hannah Montana, and many more.

Lexical Repetition and Combinations

Along with the five primary sonic crayons mentioned above, there is also the technique of lexical
repetition. This is the use of the same words in equivalent places in lines, e.g., starting or ending
lines with the same word or phrase. In the above example from “If My Mary Were Here”, lexical
repetition is combined with rhyme and alliteration to give the very strong combination of “place

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to hide” and “place for pride”. Dan Fogelberg’s “Longer” uses it as each line changes the first
syllable, but the second and third syllables are always “–er than” (longer than, higher than,
deeper than). And the verses each end with the same phrase “in love with you”.
In the Frank Sinatra hit “It Was a Very Good Year”, written by Ervin Drake, the first three
verses each start off with “When I was…”, and the second and third lines of each verse are “It
was a very good year”. The line is again repeated as the last line of verse four. Lots of lexical
repetition in this song of AAAA form, which anchors the concrete picture being unfolded of a
person’s lifetime of living and loving.
Much of the memorable stickiness and appeal of Bob Dylan’s lyrics lies in their sonic activity
beyond the rhyme scheme. Among Dylan’s songs, look at “Like a Rolling Stone” as an example.
I often use this repeated sound technique in many of my songs. An example from the chorus of
“Another Touch of Gray” (follow the vowel and consonant sounds separately):
Just in that moment she made me feel like a kid again
Days of new blue jeans, summer scenes, ice cream every day
Whatever anyone called fun, you know I did it then
But jeans and dreams and the scenes, it seems, like ice cream, fade away
When I was writing my “High School My School” collection of songs, I was beginning to work
on a song about being picked on and bullied at school. Once I thought of the key word “taunted”,
the following came out almost immediately:
Taunted, run a gauntlet down an endless hall
Haunted, relentless echoes of the names they call…
The high sonic activity is a result of lots of practice in developing sensitivity to the sound of
words, so that it becomes automatic. What we have in two short lines are: two rhyme pairs, allit-
eration (haunted/hall), assonance (aunted/auntlet/all) (en/es/ech) (name/they), and para rhyme
(down/n an/ n en)

The sonic crayons, though each powerful alone, become ever more potent when used in combi-
nations with multiple repetitions. In the previously mentioned example from the song “Popular”
in the musical “Wicked”, the phrase “frank analysis” not only rhymes with “personality dialy-
sis”, but there is also sonic repetition within each pair and across pairs: frANk ANalysis - and—
anALYsis / personALIty / diALYsis.
The take-away message: Phonetic techniques used in repeated combinations have a greatly
multiplied effect as opposed to when they are used alone! However, no matter how well used,
assonance, alliteration, para-rhyme and lexical repetition cannot substitute for the impact and
stickiness of a good perfect rhyme.

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on Her … Stool.

(I Don’t Want to Rhyme! I want to be COOL!)

(For a more detailed discussion of rhyme as it joins phonetics to structure, see Chapter 22)

Okay, quick exercise: Read the five lines below twice through.
My favorite number is one.
It makes me think of the sun.
Whenever I’m with you,
All the things that we do
Make my favorite number two.
Now cover them up and recite them as best you can.
Pretty easy, I’m guessing.

Now we’ll try the same thing again with some more poetically interesting lines.
Read twice through:
Today’s journal, an empty page.
I grip the pen tightly, trying to hold on to you.
You left last night and the air grew cold.
So many feelings to write about
But the blank page is a comfort and I’ll just let it be.
Now cover up and recite.
Takes more effort?
Set poetic words to a beautiful melody and you have… poetic words set to a beautiful melody.
Set rhymed poetic words with an even cadence to a beautiful melody and you something that
slides easily into people’s awareness and sticks. The challenge facing songwriters is to take
fresh, vivid and meaningful language and put it into an evenly cadenced, rhymed form. Remem-
ber the Birkhoff study presented in Chapter 7 and the Fundamental Choice: more structure and
symmetry yields greater positive aesthetic perception.
Just to underscore the power of verse, consider this: If you were asked to recite a song you
learned when you were a child of four or five, no doubt you could think of several (you know
Little Miss Muffet didn’t sit on a stool….). If asked to recite a prose story you heard at that same
age, you probably could only summarize or paraphrase it. The difference? Rhyme and regular ca-
dence (meter, verse). It is an amazingly powerful tool for making words stick in a person’s mind
for a long time.
Nonetheless, I get lots of songs at critique sessions that either don’t rhyme at all, or have some
scattered rhymes with no discernable rhyme scheme. Below is a list of reasons I’ve heard for not
rhyming a song, and my associated comments. Just keep your Eyes Wide Open when you make
your choices, and be honest with yourself about why you make those choices.
1 - Rhyming is too trite, everyone does it. Everyone does it, yes, because it’s the best tool in the

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toolbox for getting your words to “stick” in people’s minds. Trite? Yes, if you only use
moon/June, love/above… Be fresh and innovative, and positionally consistent with your rhymes
and you’re raising up that #2 Fader. (NOTE: Positional consistency is less important in Hip-Hop
where so many phonetic factors are in play). See the song maps below.
2 - I want my song to be “different” and stand out. Yes, but do you want it to stick in people’s
heads and be easy to remember? Or do you want to take the chance of being bypassed by ordi-
nary listeners who view non-rhyming to be as flatulopetic as the use of this word?
3. – Rhymes are too constraining. I don’t have the freedom to say what I need to. Constraining
for whom? You or your listeners? It’s your choice, but make it with your Eyes Wide Open, and
realize the price you are paying for your own comfort.
4 - I would love to be able to create great rhymes, but it’s so much effort that I’d never get any-
thing written. An honest EWO self-assessment. Perhaps seeking out a collaborator would help
get you to where you want to be. Or, use simple rhymes but use a multi-point rhyme pattern, as
discussed in Chapter 22.
5.- My poetic language and images are extremely memorable, so I don’t need to use rhymes.
If this is your self-assessment, perhaps try bouncing it off a Sounding Board to see if they agree.
If this is the reaction of your audience, then you’ve found a niche that fits you, as long as you re-
alize that it’s going to be a small niche, relative to the general population of potential listeners
(i.e. you’re choosing to settle for a great deal of untapped ullage).
6. The song I’m writing is specifically designed so that non-rhyming enhances the meaning and
the overall effect. If that’s your specific intent and it’s consistent with what your Sounding
Boards are telling you, go for it. For a successful execution of this path of non-rhyming, see “The
Rhyming Song” by the great trio, Mad Agnes. Note that it is a humorous, novelty song It’s rare
to find it successfully done in a serious mainstream song.
7 – My musical hooks and riffs are memorable, so the words are not as important to remember.
If your Sounding Boards and audience are reacting positively to your music, your assessment is a
fair one. For a true EWO choice, be sure you’ve asked yourself how much greater that reaction
might be if your great music also had memorable words, and whether you’re willing to forego
bringing your song up to that next place. Are you sacrificing ullage and settling for a “7” rather
than trying for a “10?”
8 –Even without rhyme, my song has very high sonic activity from the other tools – assonance,
alliteration, para-rhyme, Klang, etc. If your Sounding Boards and audience are reacting posi-
tively to your song, your assessment is a fair one. For a true EWO choice, be sure you’ve asked
yourself how much greater that reaction might be if your great lyrics also had memorable
rhymes, and whether you’re willing to forego bringing your song up to that next plateau. Are you
settling for a “7” rather than trying for a “10?
As always, the choices are yours – make them for the right reasons.

Exercise: Improving Your Sonic Activity Generation

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Pick a random word from the dictionary, preferably one that it is sonically interesting. Then, off
the top of your head, i.e. without a lot of thought or editing, say a sentence that has as many
points of sonic activity as you can quickly come up with. Say it out loud and let yourself hear
and feel the pings. Score each ping you generate as follows:

—One point for simple alliteration (the initial sound of a syllable) e.g. Jump,
Jerk, Jazz;
—One point for simple assonance i.e. same vowel sound with different con-
sonants on either side (sIgn, tIme, wIde);
—Two points for the first sound plus the same first vowel sound of a syllable
(Jump, inJUstice, Jutting);
—Two points for the same first and last sound of a syllable with a different
vowel i.e. para rhymes ; (PiN, PaN, PuN);
—Two points for a sonic reversal (lever, revel);
—Three points for a perfect rhyme.
These are strictly elements of sound, not meaning.
Example: I randomly opened the dictionary and pointed to the word “cadre”. Off the top of my
head, having recently watched a Grade B horror movie, I said “A cadre of cadavers have carried
corpses along the avenue.” The points of sonic activity are:
CAdre of CAdAVers hAVe Carried Corpses Along the AVenue = 24 points
(the “re” of cadre and the “er” of “cadavers” is a sonic reversal.)
CA x 3 = 6; AV x 3 = 6; re/er = 4; CaR/CoR = 4; A (along) = 1;
C (corpses) = 1; corpse/long = 2 (assonant);
You can develop your own scoring system if you wish, but be consistent, and it will give you a
relative idea of your own progress. Make sure you can identify ping points by sound, not by
spelling – “gigolo” and “giant” both start with “g-i” but only the “g” is the common sound be-
tween them. The “i” is short in “gigolo and long in “giant”. The word “gig”, which looks similar
to “gigolo” has only the short “i” and second “g” sound in common, as the first “g” is different.
However, the “j” of “jazz” is the same sound as the “g” of “gigolo” and “giant”. And of course
“Cough” and “Bough” do not rhyme, but “Enough” and “Stuff” do. And most importantly, don’t
confuse assonance with rhyme. “Same” and “Pain” are assonant, but they do not rhyme (“Sane”
and “Pain” do).
Practice doing this until it is second nature to think in terms of sonic activity, and you’ll find
your lyrics start to flow naturally this way in the initial creative phase of your writing, without
diverting you from your creative flow. Be sure to look at the middles and ends of words, not only
the beginnings. Just like learning guitar riffs or keyboard scales, practice and repetition will
make your verbal riffs come more easily and with ever-increasing impact.

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For exercise and practice purposes, the sentences you come up with don’t have to be deep and
meaningful – as you can see from the “cadre” example above, they can be just a lot of CaCa…
The first step in successfully adding sonic activity to your songs is simple – whenever you think
a line is “done”, ask yourself if there is some small thing you can do to it to add another ping
point. Here are some examples: Let’s invent a couple of lines about how working with others is
better than working alone:
Working together is better than going it alone
Have a friend give you a hand
The meaning is clear, the cadence is all good, and it’s easy to sing. Does that mean you should
let it be? Can you increase the sonic activity without too much messing around? How about a
simple tweak of line 2:
Have a friend lend you a hand
Now you’ve increased the sonic activity with a perfect internal rhyme of friend/lend. No change
in meaning or cadence. Is that good enough, or can we do better? How about one other tweak:
Find a friend to lend a hand
No change in meaning, no change in cadence, but yet another increase in sonic activity – now, in
addition to the friend/lend rhyme, you also have the alliteration and para-rhyme of “Find” and
“friend”
How about this well-known song, “Shambala”, written by Danny Moore:
Wash a way my sorrow, wash away my pain with the rain Shambala
Wash away my troubles wash away my shame with the rain in Shambala
It has the internal rhyme of pain/rain in line 1 and the assonance of shame/rain in line 2. good
enough? Or can more be done with it? In the actual “Shambala” lyric, the positions of “troubles”
and “sorrow” above are exchanged, and you gain another ping point, with the alliteration of “sor-
row” and “shame (and maintaining the pain/rain rhyme and the shame/rain assonance). No need
to change a word, meaning or flow of syllables – just repositioning the existing words.
The only way a song can be made better is if you continually ask yourself after it’s “done”, if
there is still something you can do to add additional impact. When the answer, based on
Sounding Board feedback, is truly “no”, then you’re “done”.

Klang Association: Joining Phonetics to Semantics

(see also Chapter 15)
The name “Klang Association” may bring to mind the image of an elite Klingon men’s club
(EWO Disclosure: I know the Klingon reference only works for people familiar with “Star
Trek”). Klang association is an extremely powerful property of words that relates sonic proper-
ties with semantic properties. Like all powerful tools, it is also the proverbial double-edged
sword. Well used, it truly creates impact. If ignored, it can totally obscure the effect you are try-
ing to create. It is discussed in detail by Richard Lederer in his book Crazy English (1990, Pocket
Books, Simon & Shuster, Chapter 5 “The Sounds of English”). Klang association is the property

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of a word where by the sound of the word triggers the meaning of words with similar sound, but
not necessarily related in any other way. The word “Klang” refers to the idea of a bell going off
when something is triggered in your mind.
Charles Dickens had a great ability for choosing memorable names for his characters that seemed
to fit them perfectly. When you hear the name “Ebenezer Scrooge”, you know it must belong to
an undesirable old coot, but did you ever wonder why? Think of all of the words which are sug-
gested by the inherent sound of the name “Ebenezer Scrooge” i.e., the klang association: Geezer,
Squeezer, Sneezer, Wheezer, Teaser, Ebony, Need, Beelzebub, Screw, Rude, Grudge, etc…
Amazingly, every one of these has a dark or negative connotation, and there do not seem to be
many words of positive connotation which spring to mind. Dickens did not likely arrive at the
character’s name by analyzing associated words. Although he may have known that Ebenezer
means “heart of stone”, the bottom line is that it just sounds right because of all the subconscious
‘klangs’.
In “Gulliver’s Travels”, it’s likely not coincidence that Jonathan Swift placed Gulliver in the
lands of Lilliput and Brobdingnag, which klang nicely with little/petite/putt and big/gang. How
about the villain from “Oliver Twist”, Bill Sykes? (Spikes, Strikes, Sics, Scythe, Psyche, Pike,
Ill, Kill, Bullseye, which overpower the gentler Sigh and Likes). From “101 Dalmatians” we
have Cruella Deville - cruel, devil, rue, evil, ill. And don’t forget Darth Vader (death, dearth,
dark, invader, evader).
If all you knew about a character in a story was that his name was “Laspitch”, would you expect
him to be a positive or negative character? How does the sound of that name strike you? I’d be
willing to bet that you felt a negative ‘ping’ associated with the sound of that name. Now ask
yourself why. Look at all of the closely related words: Asp, Last, Lisp, Lash, Ash, Spit, Pit,
Pitch, Itch, Bitch, Rich. A parade of pure evil. When writer Jimmy Webb thought up the name,
his expert instinct just knew it was right for a despicable rich character, without having to ana-
lyze it. It’s a great story song and a classic example of irony. Check it out.
To Summarize: Sonic/Phonetic parameters are independent of the meaning of your words.
Points of sonic interest are called ‘ping-points’. They can tremendously enhance a lyric through
the tools of rhyme, assonance, alliteration, para-rhyme, klang, and lexical repetition.
The effective use of rhyme in multiple dimensions gives lyrics structural solidarity, and helps get
the words etched into listeners’ memory banks. A lyric which is light on meaning, message, or
story can be very effective if it makes good use of sonic activity. (But don’t forget to ask yourself
how much more appeal it would have if it also had meaning, message, or story. That’s being at-
tentive to the ullage.)

Chapter 22 SONG MAPPING: The Key to a Solid Structure

If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the unbounded admiration for
the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it.” – Albert Einstein
“In my writing I am acting as a map maker, an explorer of psychic areas”—William S.
Burroughs, author

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 Every song falls short of the glory of what a song could be. That’s why the urge is there to
start again and yet again. Often it’s the fault of rhyme. I’ve discovered a hundred times that
there just aren’t enough rhymes to say what I wanted to say, so I said something else instead.
Sometimes it was a better thing, but the thing I meant to say went unsaid. So there’s an opening
for another song.”- Robert Hunter, lyricist

What Is Song Mapping?

Song mapping links together Prosodic, Phonetic, and whole-song Structural Parameters. It is a
technique for helping you evaluate and adjust several aspects of your song. Like any tool, its use
is totally optional, and it’s completely up to you if and when you use it. Song mapping is quite
valuable at clearly showing you what you’ve done well in a lyric, and what might need some
tweaking. It visually shows you the links between the phonetic and prosodic parameters, and the
whole-song structure. Several song maps are presented at the end of this chapter.
Song mapping is not to be confused with song diagramming, which is a technique for depicting
the sections of your song using blank boxes (or other shapes) and looking at the information con-
tained in each. That is a tool for addressing semantic issues, like the flow of logic, the Six W’s,
plot development, verse-chorus coherence, and related parameters.
Song Mapping, as presented here, is a finer level of analysis, focusing on the interaction of
prosody and phonetics, to create overall structural coherence and ping-point activity.
Songs have two levels of structure: The macro-structure, and the micro-structure. Macro-struc-
ture is the song Form, i.e. the relationship between the sections of the song. These include the
verses, chorus, bridge, intro/outro, tags, pre-chorus. and music interludes.
The micro-structure deals with the interrelation of the sonic elements of the song which work to
give it a tight, cohesive feel. These include the rhyme scheme and all other ping-points, and how
they are positioned in each section of the song. Consistency (there’s that word again….) of posi-
tioning creates the most cohesive, and thus memorable, structure.
A tight structure carries a song a long way toward that Perfect 10. It optimizes every bit of craft-
ing for maximum effect and causes every image, rhyme, and point of interest in a song to hit the
listener with extra punch. Flaws in structure can be very subtle, and can cause the listener to have
that sense of “something is wrong, but I can’t say what…”. In critique sessions, this is often ex-
pressed as “I felt let down…” or “I was expecting more from that verse…”

Time to Look at Rhyme

To begin our discussion of mapping, let’s look only at one sonic parameter: the rhyme scheme.
Of all the elements in a song, the rhyme scheme is among the easiest to see. Rhyme is a funda-
mental piece of a song’s structure, because it can work four ways to pull things together:
A—Line to line within a verse (a vertical pull)
B—Internal rhyme within a single line (a horizontal pull)
C—Cross-Verse rhyme (a pull across the time dimension)

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D—External rhyming (a pull to a common reference outside the song)

A quick review of important concepts of rhyming:

1 – To make a song memorable, accessible, cohesive, and sticky for a general listening audience,
nothing works better than rhyme.
2—Do not bend the meaning or grammar of a line by forcing it to rhyme just for the sake of
using a rhyming word. The meaning must always the primary consideration. A perfect rhyme
makes the strongest impact, but it is better to have a weaker rhyme if it means preserving the
sense and grammar of the line. Some notable writers, such as Rupert Holmes (The Pina Colada
Song, Him, and others) strongly prefer using perfect rhymes (time, mime) as opposed to near
rhymes (time/mine, which are assonant, but don’t rhyme). The advice offered here is to clearly
define in your own mind what information the line must convey and try for a perfect rhyme. If
you just cannot get a good rhyme, then use the best possible set of words to communicate that
meaning. Don’t change the meaning or bend conversational grammar to manufacture a rhyme,
but above all, don’t use difficulty as an excuse not to rhyme.
3—Avoid excessive use of common, trite rhymes (moon/June; bad/had; you/blue, heart/apart;
love/above; life/wife;).
4—Do not force an accent onto the wrong syllable just to make a rhyme (me/tenderLY; yes/hap-
piNESS; sing/happenING;).
5—Keep your rhyme scheme positionally consistent from verse to verse. Vary it in the chorus
and bridge. (see the map diagrams below)
6—IF you choose not to use rhyme or to use it loosely, do it with your Eyes Wide Open to the
fact that you’re making your song less accessible to your listeners. Ask yourself honestly if
you’re avoiding rhyme because it’s easier for YOU, not because it’s better for your song or your
listeners. Not using rhyme can easily come across as being lazy, flatulopetic, or being or out of
touch with a general audience. (See the Fundamental Choice in Chapter 7)
Now, assuming you choose to try following those guidelines, let’s look at the different kinds of
rhyming “pulls” described above. Solid structure comes from consistent patterns. This means the
rhyming within a verse should be consistent from verse to verse. Corresponding lines of corre-
sponding verses should have the same relationships to each other. For example if a 4-line verse
has lines 1 and 3 rhyming and lines 2 and 4 rhyming, (abab) then all verses should have that

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same pattern. for maximum effect. However, this is only half of a good map; the other half is that
ideally, the rhymes should fall on the same beat or pulse from verse to verse, or as close a you
can get them.

Vertical and Horizontal Rhyming

In a song, we usually think of rhymes as being points at the ends of lines that help us remember
and anticipate lyrics. These rhyme points can be arranged in various patterns which we call a
rhyme scheme, and the general guideline is to keep a consistent pattern from verse to verse. This
creates the vertical connection between lines that we come to expect.
Mary Had a Little lamb … (a)
A little toast, little jam .(a)
Ice cream soda topped with fizz ……(b)
Oh how sick our Mary is. (b)
This rhyme scheme is aabb. Subsequent verses which maintain that pattern will be easier for a
listener to process, allowing the lyrical content to have greater impact. The chorus and bridge can
(and probably should) each have a different pattern to clearly distinguish the different sections.
Rhymes can be used much more effectively than just as points at the ends of lines. Internal
rhyme occurs when there is a rhyme within the same line, and this creates a horizontal pull of co-
hesion.

Mary, Mary quite contrary, how does your garden grow? (a-a-b)
With silver bells and cockle shells and pretty maids all in a row (c-c-b)

Parenthetical Rhyming
A parenthetical rhyme encloses rhyme pairs within an outer rhyme as follows:

We’ll pray to God above (a)

Keep you safe through the night (b)
As you fight to build a world that’s filled with love.. . (b-c-c-a)
(from “Heart of the Storm” by Bill Pere)
Here, the “a” rhyme encloses the “b” and “c” pairs, like parentheses. There is both vertical and
horizontal rhyme.

Expanded Rhyming
Rhymes are most commonly single syllables. One way to tighten the structure and add interest is

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to step backward one syllable at a time from the main rhyme and see if you can rhyme preceding
syllables as well. This is particularly useful when two lines that are related musically or logically
are separated by several intervening lines. It may take more than just an end rhyme to make them
feel connected. Expanding the rhyming points in the line is like a carpenter building structural
connections between beams to firm up the framework. Here are two examples, using both verti-
cal and horizontal rhyming:

My tears and the tide are both salty water (a/b/c)

Come back to me Jenny, I’ve been such a fool (d)
I was blaming you for something you didn’t do and that was cruel… (e/e/d)
All these years I’ve cried for you and our daughter (a/b/c)
Come back to me Jenny, you’re still my wife (f)
I could never see how good you were to me, I guess I was blind all (g/g/f)
my life
(from “My Tears and the Tide” by Bill Pere)
Here, “water” and “daughter” form a primary end-rhyme pair, but by considering every syllable
in a line as a potential rhyming point, it was possible to match up “tide” with “cried” and “tears”
with “years” to more tightly bind those lines together, even though they are four lines apart.
Here’s another example:

A child is an ocean full of wonder, always sure (a/b/c)

That God is glad to share what’s on the beach… (d)
A wild kind of notion that the water’s always pure (a/b/c)
And to touch the sky, you only have to reach… (d)
I wonder what this world would be (e)
If we all learned what our children teach… (d)
(from “What Our Children Teach” by Bill Pere)
Because there is a two-measure musical interlude between the first two lines and the second two
lines, the rhymes, expanded well beyond the “sure/pure” match at the ends, serve to closely link
the two couplets. Also, “wonder” and “water” provide a para-rhyme, adding still more glue,
along with the alliteration of six more “w” sounds in the last two lines.
Here’s an example of effective vertical/horizontal rhyme (from Mercenaries, words and music by
Harry Chapin)

It’s a slow motion night in the hot city light .(a-a)

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Past time when the good folks are snoring in bed (b)
On a loose jointed cruise to recolor your blues (c-c)
With illegal notions alive, alive in your head (b)
In addition to the end-line rhymes, there is also a horizontal pull in lines 1 and 3 from the
night/light and cruise/blues combinations that give the lyrics additional structural integrity. The
key here is that pattern is consistently maintained through the many verses of the song.
Notice that most of the rhymes in these examples are simple ones – it is the overall pattern that
adds interest and depth. A simple rhyme scheme probably needs more unusual and fresh rhymes
to maintain interest, but an unusual and consistent multi-point rhyming pattern can create sonic
interest with more simple rhymes.
Of course, very intricate patterns can be constructed which also use some unusual rhymes. As
long as they’re consistent from verse to verse, the lyric is structurally tight.
Here are some examples of more intricate vertical and horizontal rhyme schemes: (visual maps
are at the end of this chapter)

Do you hear it there in the children’s laughter (a-b)

Their kites dance in the air and avoid the wire rafter, so free .(a - b - c)
The old man hears the sound, today he’s kind of smilin’ (d - e)
The squirrels gather ‘round and watch his shadow sway silen t- …(d - e - c)
ly
Like the twisting of an old cypress tree (c)
(from “Born of a Smile” by Bill Pere)
The alarm clock says it’s dawn …. (a)
I creak up out of bed and put my work boots on, ….(a)
For another day of working in that same old place…(b)
I slip out but she doesn’t hear, …..(c)
She’s not heard for eighteen years,….(c)
And the only thing that’s different from yester day…(d)
Is another touch of gray and wrinkle on my face ….(d - b)
(from “Another Touch of Gray” by Bill Pere)

Rhyming is More than Just Per-Verse

So far we’ve covered only two dimensions—within a line and from line to line. How about a
third dimension—across verses? This is a less used technique, mostly because it’s difficult and it
imposes more restrictions on the structure of each verse. But when it is used well, it certainly
makes for memorable lines. Quite simply, this is a rhyme scheme where a word in a line of one

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verse rhymes with the corresponding word in the corresponding line of the next verse. It gives
cohesion across the entire song, creating a unified whole (or a uni-verse…).
Let’s look at the two verses which go with the chorus from “What Our Children Teach”, pre-
sented just above:

What do the following songs have in common (besides being hits)?

Magic (J. Farrar, from the movie “Xanadu”); Mrs Brown You’ve You’ve Got a Lovely Daugh-
ter (Trevor Peacock); Day Tripper (The Beatles); WOLD (Harry Chapin); At the End of the
Day (Kretzmer, from Les Miserables); Make Your Own Kind of Music (Mann/Weil); Something
About You (Level 42); and The Yard Went on Forever (Jim Webb)?
They all have memorable cross-verse rhyme. Tight song construction is like building a house—
you need to provide reinforcement in each of the three dimensions—height, width , and depth, to
achieve something solid and long lasting. Here are some examples showing many different uses
of cross-verse rhyming:
Magic (from “Xanadu”, written by John Farrar, recorded by Olivia Newton-John)
(verse 1, line 1): Come take my hand, you should know me…
(verse 2, line 1): From where I stand, you are home free
Mrs Brown You’ve Got a Lovely Daughter (written by T. Peacock, recorded by Herman’s Her-
mits)
(verse 1, line 1): Mrs. Brown you’ve got a lovely daughter…
(verse 2, line 1): She wants to return those things I bought her
Day Tripper (written by Lennon/McCartney, recorded by The Beatles)
(verse 2, line 1): She’s a big teaser, she took me half the way there
(verse 3, line 1): Tried to please her, she only did one night stands…
WOLD (written and recorded by Harry Chapin)
(intro, line 1): Hello, honey, it’s me…
(outro, line 1): Okay, honey, I see…

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At the End of the Day (from Les Miserables, English lyrics by H. Kretzmer)
(verse 1, line 1) : At the end of the day you’re another day older
(verse 2, line 1): At the end of the day you’re another day colder…
The Yard Went on Forever (written by Jimmy Webb, recorded by Richard Harris)
(verse 1, line 1) :
There were houses, there were hoses, there were sprinklers on the lawn…
(verse 2, line 1):
There were blouses with print roses, checkered shirts and white levis…
Make Your Own Kind of Music
(written by Barry Mann/Cynthia Weil, recorded by Mama Cass Elliot)
(verse 1, last line): It hangs them up to see someone like you…
(verse 2, last line): To do your thing’s the hardest thing to do…
Something About You (written by Mark King, Roland Gould, Philip Gabriel Gould, Mike Lindup,
Waliou Jacques Daniel Badarou recorded by Level 42)
(prechorus 1 line 1) Drawn into the stream of undefined illusion
(prechorus 1 line 2) Those diamond dreams they can’t disguise the truth
(prechorus 2 line 1) These changing years they add to your confusion
(prechorus 2 line 2) And you need to hear the time that told the truth
Even simple children’s songs make use of this powerful technique to make songs easy to remem-
ber. Look at “The Ballad of Davey Crockett” (Lyrics by Tom Blackburn Music by George Bruns)
:

(verse 1, last line re- Davy, Davy Crockett, king of the wild frontier
frain):
(verse 2, last line re- Davy, Davy Crockett, the man who knew no
frain): fear
(verse 3, last line re- Davy, Davy Crockett, seeing his duty clear
frain):
(verse 4, last line re- Davy, Davy Crockett, leading the pioneer
frain):
To Summarize Thus Far: Providing consistent rhyme schemes in three dimensions is usually a
great way to make your lyrics tight and memorable, but remember a golden rule of songwriting:
Never use a word just for the sake of making a rhyme or maintaining a pattern. First and fore-
most is that it must be the right word to convey your meaning. If you can also make it rhyme in
three dimensions, so much the better, but don’t start out by making that your goal unless you’re
doing a yclept writing exercise (See Chapter 25). Often times, three dimensional rhymes come
about as you’re crafting and re-writing and you find that a particular word just happens to fit nat-

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urally. Then, having established a pattern, you can try to craft—but not force—the rest of the
lines to maintain the pattern. If successful, your rhymes will have crossed the line and go beyond
perverse.

External Referencing: When is a Rhyme not a Rhyme?

When is a rhyme not a rhyme? Can you ‘ping’ with a word that isn’t there?
Welcome to the technique of external referencing.
Mary had a little jam, and you know that’s not all
Humpty Dumpty won’t eat eggs, but still he had a ball
At first look, these seem like two self-contained lines. However, there is a subtle sonic activity
occurring. The word ‘jam’, taken only in the context of these lines, would not be a ping-point, as
it has no partner to interact with, i.e., no mate for a rhyme, assonance, alliteration or para-rhyme.
However, it is actually a strong ping-point because it inevitably evokes the rhyme-partner ‘lamb’
from the well-known phrase that most everyone knows. Even though ‘lamb’ is not a part of the
lines, it is brought into the listener’s awareness to make a ping.
The same occurs with the all/ball pair. Instead of a happy couplet, this is actually a quartet, be-
cause everyone knows that Humpty Dumpty is forever linked to ‘wall’ and ‘fall’. Thus these
seemingly simple lines have lots of additional sonic activity created by references that are exter-
nal to the lines themselves.
This technique is a centerpiece of good parody writing. One of the best-crafted parodies I’ve ever
seen is Bob River’s “Middle-Age Waistline”, a parody of the Who’s “Teenage Wasteland (Baba
O’Riley)”
(original line 1) Out here in the fields, I fight for my meals
(parody line 1) I eat Mrs. Fields I snack between meals
(original line 2) I get my back into my livin’
(parody line 2) You can see my crack above my Levi’s
(original line 3) I don’t have to fight to prove I’m right
(parody line 3) I don’t have to diet to prove I’m light
(original line 4) I don’t need to be for - given
(parody line 4) I don’t peel the skin off of my chicken
You can see how the parody aligns closely with the not only the rhymes, but the overall sound of
the original words (here/eat, livin’/levi, need/peel, forgiven/off-chicken), This is Perfect 10 craft-
ing, and is maintained all the way the song.
In my song “The Crib in the Creche”, about a homeless man on Christmas Eve, I use this tech-
nique extensively throughout the song. The line:
“Freezing winds disorient me” is sung to the same melodic/prosodic structure as: “We three
kings of Orient are”.

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We/three are assonant with Freeze; “king” rhymes with “ing” and is assonant with “wind”; “Ori-
ent” falls in the identical place in both songs, though with totally different semantic references.
For additional use of this effect, see the full analysis of “The Crib in the Creche” in the Appendix
section.
The use of the external referencing technique is often hard to recognize, because it is hidden, but
when it is there, you feel the aphrodisiac effect of lyrical pheromones.

Mapping Your Songs: Visualizing and Evaluating Your Micro-Structure

We’ve looked in depth at some rhyming considerations. If you now add in all the other sonic
considerations, how can you tell the overall level of sonic activity and consistency in your song?
Below are some song maps. What you’re seeing is a grid which shows each rhythm pulse (eighth
note) across two measures (the general span of a lyric line), with space for an anacrusis before
the downbeat. Each lyric syllable is placed in its correct rhythmic position.
All the ping-points are identified and the links between rhymes are shown within and across
verses. This allows you to see at a glance if the lyrics of each verse structurally consistent in ca-
dence and rhyme scheme. If you cut out the map of each verse and lay them atop each other,
everything should align (or at least come close).
In addition, you can identify white space issues, wrenched accents, and ways that you might be
able to adjust your cadence to fix them.
The first example, “Let Me Count the Ways”, shows a relatively simple structure illustrating the
cadence, the rhymes within verses, and the rhyming across verses. You can visually see that the
patterns made by the positions of these factors is consistent across the verses.

SONG MAP - “Let Me Count the Ways” (words and music by Bill Pere,
from the CD “Let Me Count the Ways”)

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Recalling the discussion about creativity versus craft, this consistency is not achieved in the ini-
tial creative process – it is crafted after the fact. The more aware you are of these factors, the
more they will start to instinctively emerge in the early creative phase.

Below are the maps from two previously presented examples, “Born of a Smile”, and “Another
Touch of Gray”. These have more complex rhyme schemes., but remain consistent from verse to
verse.

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 SONG MAP - “Born of a Smile” (words and music by Bill Pere, from the CD
“Citycape”)

Below are two of the seven verses from “Another Touch of Gray”. All the verses share this same
prosodic and phonetic pattern., leading to this sonically active chorus:

Just in that moment, she made me feel like a kid again (a)
Days of new blue jeans, summer scenes, ice cream every day (b-b-c-d)
Whatever anyone called fun, you know I did it then, (e-e-a)
But jeans, and dreams, and the scenes, it seems, like the ice (b-c-b-c-c-
cream, melt away d)

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 SONG MAP - “Another Touch of Gray” (words and music by Bill Pere,
from the CD “Citycape”)

Below is a map of Billy Joel’s classic “Goodnight Saigon”. The rhyme scheme and consistent ca-
dence is revealed by the map, with cross-verse rhyme that helps bind the many verses together.

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 SONG MAP - “Goodnight Saigon” (words and music by Bily Joel)

(Note: Veses 4 and 6 contain an extra line to help lead into the chorus, but
the overall internal and cross-verse rhyme structure is consistent)

Song maps are a powerful visual aid to help you achieve a finely detailed level of craft in your
songs, addressing issues of cadence/prosody, sonic activity, structure, and white space. With
practice, you will be able to see the patterns without having to actually use the detailed grid.
If you would like to try this technique with your own songs, you can download a blank template
from our website at www.SongraftersColoringBook.com
That concludes our discussion of the Semantic, Prosodic, and Phonetic parameters of songcraft-
ing. You’ve made it through all the really hard stuff! Before going on to the next topics, you
might be wondering, “What does it look like when all the semantic, prosodic, and phonetic para-
meters come together to make that Perfect 10?”. Here is a short couplet that has it all (the fact
that it’s short speaks to the perfect selection of words to convey what is needed). As I sat in the
audience watching the musical “Wicked”, there were many places where I felt the lyrical elec-
tricity, but this particular couplet was amazing, and I saw jaws drop throughout the audience.

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What took the previous 100 pages to describe is shown here in nine words, from the song “I’m
Not That Girl” (words and music by Stephen Schwartz) :

Blithe smile, lithe limb,

She’s winsome, she wins him
The semantic, phonetic and prosodic parameters all come together to make a Perfect 10. Listen to
the whole song and you’ll see this level of craft all the way through.
Now, we’ll move on to some broader considerations.

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 SECTION III:
Other Considerations in the Pursuit of Songcrafting
(Chapters 23-27)
INTRODUCTION
In addition to parameters we have discussed in the last 15 chapters, there are several other impor-
tant areas which directly affect your choices and your ability to make informed decisions about
your songs. These include Collaboration, Critique, Music Considerations, Marketing Strategies.
As you read the next chapters, keep in mind the sixteen Myers-Briggs preference profiles as dis-
cussed in Chapter 5.

Chapter 23: Taking the Labor Out of Collaboration It Takes Teamwork to

Make the Dream Work!
“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it”—
Aristotle
Look at the credits for hits songs, and you’ll very often find more than one name. The music
business, like any arts and entertainment industry, is a business of people interacting through the
products of a creative process. People are of course very complex, but as we discussed in Chap-
ter 5, there are four dimensions which, when taken in their various combinations help us better
understand and manage a wide range of human interactions.
Sometimes circumstances dictate that we act in a way opposite to our preferred mode, but when
there are no external pressures, we all choose one of the two modes in each of the four dimen-
sions. (If at this point, you are still reading this with an open mind, you are acting in a “P” mode,
staying open to receive new data; If you have decided already that you agree or disagree with this
stuff, then you are acting in a “J” mode, wanting things to be quickly decided and settled).
It is human nature that people at opposite ends of the preference spectrum may have a hard time
dealing with each other. It will take extra energy. Years of MBTI research tell us that people with
similar preferences interact more easily.
Marriage is a collaboration in the art of life. Of successful marriages, only 4% have no prefer-
ence in common, while more than two-thirds have two or more preferences in common. Before
being too quick to criticize someone who is your opposite, keep in mind that if they are weak in
an area where you are strong, then they are strong in an area where you are weak. For example,
all “ J” and no “P” is a ship with a charted course but no wind in the sails. All “P” and no “J” is a
ship at full sail with no rudder. It takes all eight facets to write good songs as well as to live a
balanced life!
As we discussed in Chapter 5, a person’s preference profile can is represented by four letters, one
from each dimension. For each of the sixteen combinations of preferences, there is a quintessen-
tial persona associated with it, as the four dimensions act together. The lifeblood of the music
business is a great song and it requires parts of all the preferences to take a great song from initial
inspiration to finished product.

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An INTJ is the quintessential scientist, always seeking “why” things are and how they can be
made better. An ESFP is a quintessential entertainer, always ‘on stage’, no matter what he or she
is doing. ESTJ’s are the quintessential managers and administrators of life”. ISTJ’s are the pre-
servers of tradition and history. The NF preference tends to bestow a sense of idealism and a de-
sire to be of help and service to noble causes.
Thus, ESFP entertainers and ESTJ agents make a good collaboration, The ES qualities allow for
easy communication, and the SP/TJ differences each apply strengths to the areas where they can
effectively compensate for each other. This assumes of course that these folks can keep from
strangling each other when inevitable differences arise.
The music business thrives only through the interaction and cooperation of writers, performers,
engineers, managers, businessmen, lawyers, agents, producers, promoters, roadies, consumers,
etc. Each of these have distinct preferences and skills. The good side of this is that people are
naturally drawn to positions which use their special gifts and talents. A challenge faced by the in-
dustry is that true collaboration, acceptance, and communication among certain types is difficult
because they are so different. It is not a question of right/wrong, better/worse, good/bad,
smart/stupid, and there are no good guys or bad guys (although we frequently perceive it that
way or judge it to be so…). There are only people acting according to the strengths they have de-
veloped and following the natural tendency of “birds of a feather”.
Each of the sixteen profiles has very specific gifts and strengths which lead them like magnets
into certain areas of endeavor where success will come from those strengths. Just as INFP ideal-
ists cannot turn off the need to champion a cause, whether good ones or misguided ones, their
opposite, ESTJ corporate managers, cannot turn off the need to make decisions—whether good
ones or misguided ones. An INTJ scientist cannot turn off the need to explore concepts—some
memorable and some forgettable. An ESFP entertainer cannot turn off the need to give perfor-
mances—some memorable and some forgettable.
The magnetic attraction between professions and preference profiles is extremely strong. An
overwhelming percentage of lawyers have the “T” preference. Public school teachers and admin-
istrators are overwhelmingly “J”… which makes it very difficult for strongly “P” folks to do well
in school. Many ESFP’s have such trouble adapting to a traditional “J” environment that they
have a higher dropout rate than other types.
Think of relationships between writer and writer; between artist and recording engineer; between
record company executive and writer; between lawyer and writer; between agent and artist; be-
tween members within a band; and the group dynamics of critique sessions. Each of these inter-
actions has the potential to be mutually strengthening if the opposite preferences are appreciated
and recognized. However, they can be mutually antagonistic if either party thinks the other isn’t
the kind of person they “should” be.
In writer-writer collaborations, S/N teams complement each other because both perspectives -
concrete references and an overarching metaphor—are needed for an enduring lyric. But it some-
times difficult for S’s and N’s to communicate easily with each other. In a T/F collaboration, the
T provides the analysis of structure, meter, language and logic, while the “F” input provides ef-
fective communication through emotion and attention to the human condition. Introverts usually
don’t collaborate with other introverts, because they have an inner voice which they’d rather lis-
ten to, but in so doing, may limit their sources of input, ideas, and feedback. Extraverts love to

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collaborate with others, but two extraverts collaborating miss the dimension of quiet introspec-
tion, so important to adding depth to meaning and emotion in a song. An E/I team can produce
great results if each respects the needs and quirks of the other, but it’s not always easy. J/J col-
laboration is usually the type where a specific time and agenda are decided in advance. A P/P
collaboration means that either party will call the other at any hour of the night when an inspira-
tion strikes. Both of these methods can work well when paired with he the right people. In a J/P
collaboration, assuming the parties can get along, the J forces the P to focus their energy on the
task of writing, and usually drives to get things finished. The P opens the J to the possibilities of
developing inspirations outside of the appointed time and topic, and is more open to rewriting
and revising.
Collaboration is more than just two writers getting together. It’s the interaction of any people
who share a mutual goal, be it artistic, business, legal, or technical, getting together in a way so
that each can use their strengths to shine a light where the others might have a blind spot. Viewed
in this manner, reaching the pinnacle of art, craft, and commercial reward will be far less of the
emotionally draining battle that it so often is. The music industry will be healthier for it, and the
world will be richer for what will be produced.

The Lyrical Mirror Miracle

A songwriter’s preferences often come out not only in their creative process, but also in the types
of characters they write about.
A useful exercise for flexing your opposite side is to write a song about a person who is very dif-
ferent from you. A great strength of a songwriter is to be able to reach into him/herself and pull
out genuine experience, feeling and belief. That strength is expanded when the same writer can
also write convincingly about experience, feeling, and belief that is outside of him/herself, but is
dear to others. For example, iNtuitives who use their natural gift for metaphor to write in their
preferred abstract way will reach 3 out of 10 people, but if written in a concrete, sensory oriented
way, more than twice as many people, i.e., the 7 out of 10 Sensors of the world will be touched.
You raise Faders 3 and 4 and decrease the ullage.
Let’s look at some popular song lyrics where the preference dimensions of the singer or singee
(which are not necessarily those of the writer) are shown very clearly. Use these as references
and then try to write your own lyric where the singer, singee, or main character is your opposite
in at least one distinct way. Start listening to lyrics from a preference profile perspective and
you’ll be exercising some very important parts of your creative self.

Example 1. The INFP oriented lyric in first person (the Singer)

A ESTJ usually has a well-defined sense of self, and will not spend much time pondering “Who
am I”. For the INFP, “Who Am I” is a theme central to their life. In this well-known lyric
recorded by Supertramp, the singer appears to be an INFP (“Who am I?”) commenting on an or-
dered, ESTJ (“This is how it ‘should’ be”) world. (Note: Also notice the use of phonetic tools in
this song to yield a very high sonic activity).
THE LOGICAL SONG—Words and Music by Rick Davies and Roger Hodgson
(recorded by Supertramp)

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When I was young it seemed that life was so wonderful, a miracle
Oh it was beautiful, magical
And all the birds in the trees, they’d be singing so happily, joyfully
Playfully watching me
But then they sent me away to teach me how to be sensible, logical
Responsible, practical
And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable, clinical
Intellectual, cynical
There are times, when all the world’s asleep,
The questions run too deep, for such a simple man…
Won’t you please, please tell me what we’ve learned
I know it sounds absurd,
Please tell me who I am…
Now watch what you say or they’ll be calling you a radical, liberal
Fanatical criminal
Won’t you sign up your name, we’d like to feel you’re acceptable, respectable
Presentable, a vegetable!
There are times, when all the world’s asleep,
The questions run too deep, for such a simple man…
Won’t you please, please tell me what we’ve learned
I know it sounds absurd,
Please tell me who I am…
Example 2.—The “INT_”, “IN_J” oriented lyric in first person (the Singer)
If the INFP’s are always asking who they are, the IN_J,s with their introverted intuition, and
INTP’s, have a stronger sense of self through their inner voice, even though they may be hard for
the rest of the world to understand. This lyric, written in first person, says it perfectly. Though
written by Margie Adams, it could as easily have been written by well-known school dropouts
like Thomas Edison or Albert Einstein.
THE UNICORN—words and Music by Margie Adam
When I was growing up, my best friend was a unicorn, The others smiled at me and called me
crazy But I was not upset, knowing I did not conform, I always thought their seeing must be
hazy… The unicorn and I would while away the hours, playing dancing and romancing in the
wild flowers And we’d sing “Seeing is believing in the things you see, Loving is believing in the
ones you love…”
When I was seventeen, my best friend was the Northern Star,
The others asked why was I always dreaming
But I did not reply, I found my thoughts were very far away from daily hurts and fears and
scheming
The Northern Star and I would share our dreams together
Laughing, sighing sometimes crying in all kinds of weather
And we’d sing “Seeing is believing in the things you see, Loving is believing in the ones you
love…”

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And now that I am grown, my best friend lives inside of me, the others smile at me and call me
crazy
But I am not upset, for long ago I found the key, I’ve always known their seeing must be hazy
My friend inside and I would while away the hours, playing dancing and romancing in the wild
flowers
And we’d sing “Seeing is believing in the things you see, Loving is believing in the ones you
love…”
Example 3.—The “INT_”, oriented lyric in third person (the Main Character)
A great example of character writing is this portrait of a misunderstood Introverted iNtuitive,
from the pen of Harry Chapin. Its level of accuracy and insight into a profile different than the
writer’s own is a tribute to the author’s understanding of human nature. Just as The Unicorn
could have been written by Edison or Einstein, this song could have been written about Edison or
Einstein. Note how the “T” and “F” aspects play against each other.
SHOOTING STAR—Words and Music by Harry Chapin
He was crazy of course, from the first she must have known it
But still she went on with him, she never once had shown it
She took him from the street, dried his tears of grieving
She listened to his visions, she believed in his believing
He was the sun, burning bright and brittle and
She was the moon, shining back his light a little
He was a shooting star, she was softer and more slowly
He could not make things possible but she could make them holy…
He was dancing to some music no one else had ever heard
He’d speak in unknown languages, She would translate every word
And when the world was laughing at his castles in the sky
She’d hold him in her body, till he once again could fly…
He was the sun, burning bright and brittle and
She was the moon, shining back his light a little
He was a shooting star, she was softer and more slowly
He could not make things possible but she could make them holy…
She gave him a daughter, she gave him a son
She was a mother and a wife and a lover when the day was done
He was too far gone for giving love, What he offered in its stead
Was the knowledge she was the only thing that was not in his head…
He took off one morning toward the rising sun’s red glow
She knew he was going nowhere, but of course she let him go
As she stood and watched him dwindle, far too empty too be sad
He reappeared beside her saying “You’re all I’ve ever had…”
It is of interest to note that songs like the above are rarely Top 40 hits, despite their great crafting
and poignant lyric. If Introverted iNtuitives (science, math and fine arts) are 1 out of 100 people,
these songs do not speak universally. But for those to whom they speak, they do so with great

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power.
Example 4.—The “ _STJ” oriented lyric in first person (the Singer)
Here is another great lyric from the opposite of the Introverted iNtuitive, where the singers are
the ESTJ’s or ISTJ’s, reacting to the “uncivil” and “impractical” N’s, F’s and P’s among our
founding fathers. This song, from the musical “1776” is written by Sherman Edwards. Though
set in the 18th century, you will certainly know people you have met who fit this portrait to a
“T”.
COOL COOL CONSIDERATE MEN—Words and Music by Sherman Edwards
Come ye cool, cool conservative men, Our like may never ever be seen again
We have land, cash in hand, self-command, future planned
Fortune thrives, society survives in neatly ordered lives with well-endowed wives
Come sing Hosanna, Hosanna, in our breeding and our manner, we are cool
Come ye cool, cool considerate set, We’ll dance together to the same minuet
To the right, ever to the right, Never to the left, forever to the right
Let our creed be never to exceed regulated speed no matter what the need
Come sing Hosanna, Hosanna, emblazoned on our banner is “Keep cool”
What we do, we do rationally, We never ever go off half-cocked, not we
Why begin till we know that we can win, and if we cannot win, why bother to begin?
And we’ll hold to our gold, tradition that is old, reluctant to be bold
We say this game’s not of our choosing. Why should we risk losing, we cool men?
I sing Hosanna, Hosanna, in a sane and lucid manner, we are cool
Example 4—The ESFP oriented lyric in second person (the Main Character)
If the majority of people are Extraverts and Sensors, then ES oriented songs will touch the
masses. Look at Billy Joel’s well known lyric about an ESFP (the “all of life is a stage” profile).
BIG SHOT—Words and Music by Billy Joel
You went up town riding in your limousine, with your fine Park Avenue clothes
You had the Dom Perignon in your hand and spoon up your nose
When you wake up in the morning with your head on fire and your eyes too bloody to see
Go on and cry in your coffee but don’t come bitchin’ to me
You had to be a Big Shot, didn’t you, You had to open up your mouth
You had to be a Big Shot, didn’t you, all your friends were so knocked out
You had to have the last word last night, you know what everything’s about
You had to have the white hot spotlight, you had to be a Big shot last night…
Well they were all impressed with your Halston dress and the people that you knew at Elaine’s
And the story of your latest success kept them so entertained…
Now you just don’t remember all the things you said, and you’re not sure you want to know
I’ll give you one hint honey, you sure can put on a show
You had to be a Big shot didn’t you, You had to prove it to the crowd
You had to be a big shot didn’t you, all your friends were so knocked out

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 You had to have the last word last night, so much fun to be around
You had to have the front page, bold type, you had to be a Big Shot last night…

To Summarize Collaboration is an essential part of moving a song from Creation to Realization

to Proliferation. Any time two or more people interact, preferences in the way information is
given and received is going to play a role in creating/avoiding friction, or in creating/avoiding
blind spots. Awareness of preference profiles is extremely useful in navigating music’s maze of
interpersonal interactions.
Looking at lyrics (yours and others’) with an awareness of preferences can open you up to a new
depth in your writing. The above examples show a tension between opposites in at least one pref-
erence dimension. To get yourself more in touch with the four preference dimensions which are
opposite yours:
(1) SEEK INPUT - See what kinds of critiques you get on your songs
(2) ASK - Does the profile reflect the singer, or a main character in the song?
(3) LISTEN - Start listening to lyrics from a preference profile perspective
(4) EXERCISE - Try writing from those perspectives.
This can open up new sources of strength for you to apply to your songwriting endeavors, and
may help you work more productively with people whose preferences are the complement of
yours. And not coincidentally, you see that the first letters of these four steps spell SALE!

Chapter 24: Taking the Mystique Out of Critique

“An art whose medium is language will always show a high degree of critical creativeness,
for speech is itself a critique of life: it names, it characterizes, it passes judgment; in that, it cre-
ates.” – Thomas Mann, novelist
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.”—Marcus Aurelius, Roman
Emperor
“I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake up and get going, rather
than retreat.”—Sylvester Stallone
Critique sessions and song pitching sessions, in their many shapes and forms, are a mainstay of
songwriter organizations and other music industry groups around the world. The opportunity to
receive feedback from peers and pros, and to hear and critique the work of colleagues is invalu-
able.
The better we understand the dynamics of critique sessions, the more value we can contribute as
critiquers and the more value we can get out of them as creators. Critique sessions bring people
together in many roles and relationships. Whenever people must interact and communicate, un-
derstanding the four preference dimensions makes the chances of a positive, productive outcome
more likely.
Before looking at the effect of preferences on giving and receiving critique, it is important to un-
derstand the three separate types of critique.

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The Three Levels of Critique
The first level of critique is the easiest to get, and can be provided by anyone, anywhere. It is
the simple “I like it” / “I don’t like it” response. Although it can be stated many ways, this ulti-
mately is just the listener telling you whether or not the song fits his/her subjective taste. This
type of information from each person is a single data point. If you gather many of these data
points, you can get an idea if the song is reaching a significant number of people, and what the
demographic is (young, old, male, female, etc). This is certainly useful information, but in terms
of helping you improve your craft, it is of little value. It gives no insight as to WHY the person
likes or does not like your song, nor if they actually understand it. Without that knowledge, you
have no actionable information – nothing you can use in your future writing to duplicate or to
avoid certain responses.
The second level of critique, which is most frequently found in songwriter groups or from well-
informed music appreciators, is the type of feedback that addresses the major aspects of song-
writing such as overall structure (placement of verse, chorus, bridge), appropriateness of title,
clarity of meaning, flow of logic, effectiveness of the hook, marriage of music and lyric, rhyme
scheme, grammar, concreteness, mixed metaphors, and perhaps some comments on perfor-
mance/production, if appropriate. Most people who are involved with songwriter groups or
courses are aware of these song parameters, and can comment on them. The more specific a
comment is, the more actionable information you get as the songwriter (and of course, your cho-
sen action can be to ignore a particular piece of input). This is the most frequent type of informa-
tion given at CSA critiques or similar forums. It is also the most common type of input given
from panels of industry pros, or in many workshops where lots of songs have to be critiqued in a
short time.
When receiving this type of information, it is essential that the songwriter and the critiquer be on
the same page regarding the writer’s intent for the song (Fader #1)—the above parameters have
different degrees of significance and applicability depending on whether the song is intended for
a mainstream commercial market (and specifically, which genre); a film or musical; a specific
artist (Indie, or mainstream); third-party or self-publishing; a specific niche audience; a specific
purpose; self-expression; etc. A critique from a Nashville perspective of a song intended only to
be a tribute to your parents’ 20th anniversary is of no value to you, or to the critiquer. The song’s
purpose (but not its meaning) is best stated up front in the critique process.
The third level of critique is the most difficult to find, as it requires critiquers who are thor-
oughly familiar with the more detailed song parameters and how to analyze them. These include
the interplay of every vowel and consonant sound, the klang effect of each syllable and word, he
effects of white space and prosodic elements, an understanding audience psychology, the hori-
zontal and vertical mapping of song elements, and an understanding of composition and music
theory. This type of critique for a given song, takes a fair amount of time, as it requires going
line by line, word by word, chord by chord, motif by motif, and presenting a thorough analysis.
Critique like this is valuable and is often a paid service of good songwriting coaches, provided in
one-on-one consultation. Occasionally, you can find a Level-3 critiquer at open songwriting fo-
rums and workshops, but there is rarely the time to be thorough when many songs have to be re-
viewed. The value in this type of analysis comes from the fact that the information you get is
based on communication and psycholinguistic principles which work across most songs and
most styles, allowing you to develop techniques which you can use over and over in your writ-

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ing. (for an example of a Level-3 critique, see Appendix I).
It’s always up to you to determine what the right level of critique is for your songs and goals, and
how to use it to improve your craft, but it is essential to understand the three-tier nature of cri-
tique in order for you to make informed decisions about what’s right for you.
When preparing to have your song critiqued, remember two things: (1) always have multiple
copies of your lyric sheet (2) never state what the song is “about” before it is heard. You want to
know if the listener(s) ‘get it’ or not.

Preference Profiles in Critiquing: S/N Factors

With this in mind, let’s look at some typical critique session dynamics. When a writer presents a
song, what kind of feedback is (s)he looking for? This points back to that big difference in what
people prefer to attend to and how they communicate and how they communicate that preference
i.e., whether they are “S” perceivers or “N” perceivers. These different ways of seeing the world
impart a fundamentally different view of what a song is, what its purpose is, and what kind of
critique is of value. “S” perceivers, seeing the world through senses, are interested in what is
real, concrete and practical. Ask them what “math” is and it will likely be described as a way of
keeping track of dollars and cents and of counting things…very concrete. “N” perceivers are in-
terested in the theoretical and abstract. Ask them what “math” is and it will likely be described as
the study of patterns and theories…very conceptual. Ask each what a “song” is and the same po-
larity will emerge:
For “S” folks, a song is a commodity, a product, sounds that please or displease, a form of enter-
tainment…and if it just happens to be very artistic too, that’s a bonus. For “N” folks, a song is a
vessel for a concept, a relation of patterns, an artistic expression, a mathematical construct, an
arrangement of sounds in time to solve a puzzle, a form of communication…and if it makes
some money too, that’s a bonus.
Neither of these views are right or wrong… they just emphasize different, but equally valid per-
spectives. From the “N” view, the song is an endpoint; Creation for the sake of creating or for a
particular cause. From the “S” view, the song is a means to achieve a different end e.g., commer-
cial success or entertainment. This difference is the essence of a fundamental polarity in the
music industry as a whole…artistic expression vs. commercialism. The two do not have to be
mutually exclusive, but they often are, unless all eight preference factors are at work in creating
and crafting a song. It is very difficult to write a good song without expending energy in some of
these dimensions to access the opposing perspective.
Just to show how distinct this S/N difference is, look at the preference-type table below showing
the concentration of people who have selected careers in the arts and sciences, and those who opt
for business and commerce. The key separator is S/N.

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This highlights how the S/N difference separates people according to their preference for the
business or craft of music... {based on information and data from “Gifts Differing” by Isabel
Briggs Myers, Davies-Black Publishing ISBN 089106074X}
This tells us that these folks are going to give very different kinds of critiques, and that they are
seeking very different kinds of feedback. A business orientation drives a person to want to know
“will this song make money?” An art/science orientation will drive one to know if the song is
well crafted, and why it does or doesn’t work.
Two very important things that become clear after participating in many critique sessions are: (a)
being a good critiquer is not the same as being a successful writer, and (b) being a successful
professional does not guarantee being able to give clear and useful feedback to other writers. For
example, an NFP writer may be very successful because of natural intuition, but may not be able
to articulate clearly exactly what (s)he does to achieve that success. Strong N’s, because they
may communicate in abstractions, are not easily understood, at least by the 7 out of 10 “S” folks.
The most common statements at critique sessions are “I liked it…” or “I didn’t like it…”. We
commonly call these opinions, but it’s extremely useful to understand all the different things that
a simple “I like it” can mean. A writer may love to hear the statement “This song is great!” from
a critiquer. Depending on that critiquer’s preference, that statement may reflect:

NT - The lyric is extremely well crafted and has a fresh way of communicat-
ing a worthwhile message. It was clear and flowed logically. These
are the reasons it worked, and here are the specific things that can be
improved.
NF - I liked it…It moved me, It spoke to me clearly and said something new,
fresh, exciting, and important. I’m not sure exactly why. An aspect

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 of the whole I didn’t like is …”
ST - It’s definitely commercial. It has the right sound for today’s mainstream
market. It can make money. Here are the things that don’t fit the ac-
cepted standards…
SP - I liked it and probably others will too. It felt right and made me move to
it. It can entertain. Here is one detail I didn’t like…
Since “S” perceivers outnumber “N”’s by more than 2-to-1, and since business and entertainment
are natural magnets for “S” folks, it’s a good bet that a panel of music business pros and enter-
tainers will have a lot of “S” perspective and thus, commercial emphasis. Idealistically (hence,
INFP), many Indie writers are striving to make a song widely appealing (commercial) while also
having artistic integrity (enduring).
Another factor that enters into giving and getting feedback is style or genre. Just as different ca-
reer paths are magnets for certain preference profiles, certain musical styles appeal more to some
types than to others. Country music and the “SJ” combination is a natural match. It’s concrete,
down-to-earth lyric with conventional harmonic progressions and easily accessible rhythms. The
styles that are driven primarily by rhythm, e.g., dance, metal, or hip-hop, will appeal to the high-
energy ES_P profiles. The spontaneous, improvisational nature of jazz fits the “P” preference
very well and its harmonic/rhythmic complexity may be a draw for the IN_P. Other IN artists
may be found on the fringes, in the arts-oriented coffeehouses, or in rock bands with very ab-
struse lyrics that are high in conceptual and symbolic content. The musical elements of their
songs may be harmonically complex. Many solo artists on the folk or Indie singer-songwriter cir-
cuit, and the patrons of that circuit, will be introverts and iNtuitives. Thus, embedded in the ubiq-
uitous “I like it/I don’t like it” may be the fact that the genre of the song does or doesn’t mesh
with the preference of the critiquer.

Preference Profiles in Critiquing: T/F Factors

The T/F preference is very much at work in critique sessions. Critique, by definition, is analysis,
and to get practical, actionable advice, analysis is needed. Feedback with no analysis is an opin-
ion poll. But ultimately, songs are successful because of how they make people feel. Analysis en-
ables one not necessarily to produce that success, but to reproduce it. The value of polling is that,
like test marketing, it gauges the potential for success. The value of analysis is to enable maxi-
mization and reproducibility of that success.
An “F” critiquer should try to discern why a song works or doesn’t work for them. A “T” criti-
quer should not minimize the importance of liking a song even though it may have flaws in it’s
structure and craft. This will lead to more valuable feedback for the writer seeking input.

Preference Profiles in Critiquing: J/P Factors

A person giving critique may do so as a “J”, offering conclusions e.g., “I liked it”, “It was good”,
“It will never sell”, etc., or as a “P”, offering observations without a conclusion e.g., “The chorus

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didn’t rise”, or “There was a lot of space before the bridge”. As an attendee at a critique session,
you might be able to discern who the “J” and “P” folks are in the group by listening for this. “P”
feedback, being non-judgmental, is easier on the receiver’s feelings, but gives less information
about the impact of the song…it lacks a bottom line. The ultimate “J” feedback is the profes-
sional who stops the tape after the first 15 seconds and says “Next song…”
A person receiving critique needs to be in a “P” mode (which means if they are a natural “J”,
they have to expend the energy to remain open-minded to the advice they are getting). After the
advice is all in, it takes a “J” mode to make decisions on how to act on that advice (here, the nat-
ural P’s must expend the energy). Quite often, a “J” receiver, upon hearing the first negative
word, will close off any more incoming feedback by concluding that the critiquer doesn’t know
what (s)he is talking about. Conversely, a “P” receiver is always open and appreciative of the
feedback, but then doesn’t take action to translate it into an improved and re-recorded version of
the song. Neither scenario will create a great song.
To Summarize

Look upon critique as essential for helping your song be the best it can
be. Don’t shy away from it.
Be aware of the three levels of critique and when and how to best use
them.
Be aware of the difference between objective and subjective feedback
(Faders 1-2 versus Faders 3-4)
For “IN” writers seeking commercial success, seek out ES critiquers
(and this will require expending energy, as it is not typical for an intro-
vert to seek out others).
For “ES” writers wanting feedback on the technical craftsmanship of
their song, seek input from “IN” listeners.
An “FP” critique environment fosters encouragement, support and affir-
mation
A “TJ” environment emphasizes an objective, less personal, bottom line
orientation.
Any critique input should be taken as different but equally valid views
of the endeavor we call songwriting.
The writer’s intent for the song determines what kind of critique pro-
vides the most valuable feedback
You, as the receiver of the input always have the final choice of what
advice to accept or reject.

Chapter 25: Honing Your Songcrafting Skills

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 “Out of my entire annual output of songs, perhaps two, or at the most three, came as a re-
sult of inspiration. We can never rely on inspiration. When we most want it, it does not come.”—
George Gershwin

Journalistic/Expository Songwriting: Just the Facts, M’am

Many young writers tell me that one of the most difficult parts of songwriting for them is decid-
ing what to write about. We often have a phrase, a hook, a melody, but can’t quite seem to focus
in on the core of its message or meaning. Alternatively, we may spend lots of creative energy
contemplating what a song is ‘about’, only to then feel drained by the effort, with little energy
left to do all the writing and crafting.
When I was first appointed as an Official Connecticut State Troubadour in 1995, I was writing a
collection of songs about important people, places and events in Connecticut history. I wrote ten
songs in a 3-week period, and it was the most effortless writing I ever experienced. I wondered
why those songs came so easily. When I looked back on it, it was quite clear – when writing
about famous people like Nathan Hale, Eli Whitney, or P.T. Barnum, or historical events like the
Connecticut Compromise or the invention of the sewing machine, I went to the encyclopedia,
and there it was – all the information needed for a song, already written up in a few short para-
graphs. All I had to do was make it flow and rhyme. I did not have to spend any energy deciding
what to write ‘about’. All my creative energy went directly into crafting the words and music.
The songs came very easily but still exhibit the crafting techniques discussed in this book. Thus,
I came to realize the power of expository/journalistic writing as a great way to hone songcrafting
skills. Expository/journalistic songwriting is simply a reporting of existing facts and information,
turned into rhyme, verse, and sonic activity. No effort is needed to come up with a concept or
metaphor. Just the facts. This technique is evident in Gordon Lightfoot’s hit “The Wreck of the
Edmund Fitzgerald”, which flows like the newspaper account from which it was taken, or John
McCutcheon’s “Christmas in the Trenches”, which depicts the famous Christmas Truce during
World War I.
Find a topic that interests you – a historical person, place or event, and look it up in an encyclo-
pedia. All your lyrical content will be there. All you have to do is use the techniques of
songcrafting to make it a good lyric and set it to appropriate music. In addition to being a great
way to hone your songcrafting skills, any song written that way will automatically have a built-in
audience – people besides yourself who have an interest in the person/place/event you wrote
about will have an interest in the song. And anything historical in nature will never go out of
date. Additionally, it may find a niche in the educational market. Now, fifteen years after I wrote
all of my Connecticut-based songs and released “Profiles of Connecticut” digitally, their wide-
spread use and sales in various niches still surprise me.

Yclept Writing and Swinging Bats

You see examples of yclept writing in many books of poetry, literature or wordplay. Broadly
speaking, yclept writing is the imposition of some type of artificial constraint on the form of
what you write, over and above the normal constraints of a poem, lyric, short story, etc.

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For example, in a Shakespearean sonnet, the normal constraints of that form are: three quatrains
and a terminal couplet in iambic pentameter with the rhyme pattern abab cdcd efef gg. Within
that format, you can write about anything with any words you wish. However, if you said you
wanted to write a Shakespearean sonnet using just “e” as the only vowel, you would be adding
an additional artificial constraint, and now have an yclept writing exercise.
You can find poems and stories with all kinds of criteria to limit the form or word-choice: using
only one vowel; not using a particular letter or vowel (a lipogram); using only 2-syllable words;
Having the first letter of each sentence spell out a message (acrostic); no word can contain any of
the letters in the preceding word (heteroliteral); and many more. There are no rules as to what
constraints to apply – that is totally up to you.
(For two great references on this topic with lots of interesting examples and discussion see
“Palindromes and Anagrams”, Howard W. Bergerson, Dover Publications ISBN 0486206645
and “Word Recreations”, A. Ross Eckler, Dover Publications, 0486238547)
The question you probably have right now is “Why in the world would you want to take some-
thing as difficult as songwriting and make it harder by adding a restriction that doesn’t have to be
there?”
When I was a young boy in the Bronx, I’d go to baseball games with my Dad at Yankee Sta-
dium, the Polo Grounds, and Ebbets Field. I’d always watch the ‘on deck’ batter – the one kneel-
ing in the circle waiting to come up next. They would usually be swinging two or three bats to
warm up. I asked my Dad, “Why in the world would they want to make something as difficult as
swinging a heavy bat harder by adding more bats, when they don’t have to?” My Dad explained,
by swinging the extra weight, it makes it feel that much easier when they step up to do the real
thing with just one bat.
Yclept writing does not have to result in a good song (although it can). It is primarily for exer-
cise, so that when you apply yourself to craft a “real” song, it will seem that much easier. It
makes juggling and managing all those parameters seem much less energy-intensive when
you’ve experienced the feeling of yclept writing.
Try writing a simple paragraph – about anything you want, but never using the letter “e”. That
may not sound too difficult but give it a try. You’ll feel the extra effort it takes. You can set your
own challenges for yourself – and that’s exactly what an yclept exercise is. Just as an Olympic
athlete pushes him/herself to greater effort, so can you. It’s not about the quality of the result so
much as successfully meeting the challenge you set forth.
EXAMPLE: Write a short free-verse poem (any format you want, any words you want, no rhyme
required.) to the title “The Bride Gets Cold Feet While Secretly Longing for the Best Man”.
Probably not too hard. So add a constraint and try it. Here’s what I came up with:
A bitter cold drifts everywhere.
Frost gathers here.
I just know last minute nuptials open perilous questions.
Reality seeps through, under very worrisome X-rated yearnings, zealously.
To challenge myself, I imposed the constraint of using exactly 26 words, each word starting with
the next letter of the alphabet. The above result may not be great poetry, but the satisfaction of

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successfully meeting the challenge is rewarding. This took 94 seconds to do. If I had tried it
twenty years ago, it would have taken much longer.
A popular use of yclept writing is in palindromes (words or sentences that read the same back-
wards and forwards) e.g., “Red rum, sir, is murder”; or one of the best: “A man, a plan, a canal,
Panama!” These types of exercises force you to really look at the structure of words and in devel-
oping that ability, you hone your skill at generating sonic activity and interesting vocabulary.
Besides just exercise, can this have any actual application for real songwriting? The answer is
yes. When I was a teenager, first experimenting with songwriting, I wrote a song for a girl, such
that the first letter of the third word in each line spelled out “I Love You.”, and the tag of the
song said:
Look at the first letter in the third word of each line
And you’ll see why I’m glad that you are mine
I always remembered the sense of accomplishment in meeting that challenge. More recently, I
was working with some kids who had various reading and auditory learning differences, such as
dyslexia. I wanted to write a serious song that might look at things from the perspective of such a
child, and tell a story with emotional impact, with the message that God will answer the prayers
of a child. I decided to embed pairs of anagrams and palindromic words (same backwards or for-
wards e.g., top/pot) in the lyric to simulate an aural dyslexic effect. This is the crayon of sonicre-
versal, as discussed in Chapter 21.
So the challenge that lay before me was to tell a meaningful story, incorporate a dyslexic child,
have God (and thus a doG) involved, and use specific types of words, while maintaining a con-
sistent verse/chorus structure and some degree of rhyme-scheme. Suffice it to say, it was one of
the most difficult songwriting tasks I’ve undertaken, but it came out to be one of my best songs. I
threw away dozens of pairs of words for every one that I could use but over the course of several
days, the song emerged.
Here are the lyrics with the special word-pairs italicized. There are 28 pairs of palindromes and
anagram words. The song is cited by best-selling author Anu Garg on his website www.
wordsmith.org.
doG words and music by Bill Pere
A child is born and as he grows he sees the world through different eyes
They call him dumb, his name is mud, he cannot read, he does not know why…
Words reverse, then reflip, they pilfer shapes this loser cannot resolve
He has no friends but hopes for a life where love will evolve..
Coming home from school he feels a pull that draws him toward a side street
Dim amid the shadows stands a dog, a homeless stray
He gives a yell into the alley at the dog, as the words spill from his lips
Both drawn onward, like two sister ships, a pull they just can’t resist
Each life tells a tale, but who among us can say
Whose hand is directing this play?
Each scene is scripted with care,
When a child says a prayer…

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They run the whole way home, he pets the dog as they bound upon his door step
He forgets how all the kids call him a fool, act so aloof, he’s happy now.
A boy and a dog felt left out, now each has a friend
But this story is only beginning, this play’s not reached its end
The dog runs down the hall way, gives a yawn, leads the boy up to the bookcase;
The boy feels a warm tingle in his flesh, takes a book from the shelf.
This syndrome that makes palindromes is something now he knows he must fight
He seeks a switch, a lever that will let him revel in light…
Each life tells a tale, but who among us can say
Whose hand is directing this play?
Each scene is scripted with care,
When a child says a prayer..
He opens up the book and for a long time, he does not emit a sound
He does not gape at the page, it has no gaps, he does not drown in words
He calls into the kitchen to his Mom, “Now I won, I understand!
Something’s guiding my eyes on a path, like an invisible hand…”
His mother stops the cooking, drops the pots to see what it was he saw
Her child sits with his dog, his best pal, a book in his lap…
She keeps peeking at the page he is reading, to see if he is right..
It says “In the beginning, there was darkness, then there was light…”
Each life tells a tale, but who among us can say
Whose hand is directing this play?
Each scene is scripted with care,
When a child says a prayer…

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 Chapter 26 : What About the Music?
“After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.” – Aldous
Huxley
“All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.”—Frank Zappa

After so many chapters of focusing on lyrics, you’re probably wondering “What about the
music?” Lyrics, which have so many underlying parameters, are based on verbal language.
Music is based on sound waves, which, compared to linguistics, is much less complex (not to
imply that music is at all simple – just fewer parameters than dealing with lyrics). Music has just
five primary parameters: melody, harmony, rhythm, dynamics, and timbre, all of which ulti-
mately relate to the physical properties of sound waves: their amplitude (height) which affects
volume (dynamics); their frequency/wavelength which affects pitch; and their shape, which af-
fects timbre. There are many great books available which deal with all aspects of music—its the-
ory, history, physics, and appreciation. There is no need for me to re-write any of that material
here. What I will do in this chapter is try to provide some guidelines of what areas of music you
should focus on for good contemporary songwriting, and provide a few tips. There is additional
material about these topics, in much greater detail at this book’s website (www.songcrafterscol
oringbook.com).
(If you’re interested in learning about the basic physical properties of sound and its relation to
music, the seminal work on this topic is “On the Sensations of Tone”, by Hermann Helmholtz,
Dover Publications, ISBN: 0486607534. This work is considered among the best at discussing
the psychological, physical, and mathematical basis of music.)
Most writers create their music instinctively. The value of knowing the things presented here will
help you make conscious choices when you are looking for an alternative to the same familiar
chords and riffs you may find yourself using. Or when you hear something in your head but can’t
find the way to get there; Or when you want an exciting transition into and out of a bridge; Or
when you want a clever way to get to a new key; Or when you need to create a mood or style
with other than straight major and minor chords. You can never go wrong when you have op-
tions and know your choices.

Melody
You hear virtually every music professional say “A great song has to have a great melody”. It’s
said so often that it is essentially meaningless. Consider two things:
First, a “great melody” needs to be defined in some meaningful way. Instead of taking up a hun-
dred pages here to do that, read “Melody in Songwriting: Tools and Techniques for Writing Hit
Songs”, by Jack Perricone, Berklee Press, ISBN: 063400638X. It’s best reference on melody for
contemporary songwriting.
Second, the statement is not entirely accurate. Many great songs have very simple, barely-mov-
ing melodies and chords, but have appeal because they are great stories with great hooks. A

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study done by Ralph Murphy (American Songwriter, Sep/Oct 2001, pg 16) looked at the charac-
teristics of many #1 hit songs. Seventy-five percent of up-tempo hits used a linear/flat melody in
the verses when they were telling a story, with very little melodic motion, and minimal chord
changes. This prevents the music from pulling attention away from unfolding the story. By con-
trast, the melody in the chorus would shift to greater motion and chord activity (the proverbial
“soaring chorus”). Generally, a melody should stay within a range of one octave or an octave
plus a fifth, to be accessible for most vocalists. Many songs cover less range than that.
Thus, the mantra of “you always need a great melody” is not necessarily true. It depends on the
nature of the lyric and the overall style of the song. List songs and ballads will benefit from a
great melody, but an information-rich story may not (except in the chorus). An emotion-only
song, light on lyrical content, will need a great melody or groove to compensate for minimal in-
formation content.
That does not mean a story-lyric should be presented in monotone fashion. Simple but interesting
changes and intervals will keep interest while not distracting from lyrical content. This brings us
to:

Harmony
Harmony refers to the underlying chord structure of the song. This drives the overall arrange-
ment and any vocal harmonies as well. Most songs are composed on either guitar or keyboard.
These are the two primary chord-based instruments. If I were to suggest the single most impor-
tant thing to learn in the realm of music as it relates to contemporary songwriting (besides human
psychology), I would say chord theory. To understand chords and how they relate to each other,
to keys and to scales, is to have the most useful toolset for the songwriting composer. To under-
stand chords means knowing: scales, keys, intervals and the Circle of Fifths. When you have
mastered these basic musical elements, you will have the same control over your music as the
previous chapters give you over your lyrics.
There are many music books and online resources which discuss these elements The diagram at
the end of this chapter condenses most of these elements into one figure. To understand that fig-
ure is to have a fully functional music toolbox for songwriting. Specifically, you need to know:

• Where each note is on a fretboard or keyboard

• The distances between notes, in different “units”. Just as a physical distance
can be described in inches, feet, centimeters, or yards, a musical distance
between notes also has multiple ways to describe it. For example, a dis-
tance between two notes can be described in any of the following ways:
—in note names: ‘c’ to ‘e’
—in scale degrees: c-d-e, or a third apart;
—in intervals: c to e is a major third interval; c to e-flat is a minor third in-
terval;
—in steps : c to e is two whole-steps; c to e-flat is 3 half-steps or 1 ½

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 whole-steps;
—in frets/keys : e is 4 frets or piano-keys above c;
—in music notation on a staff
—by physical position .i.e., the position of your fingers on a fretboard or
keyboard as they hold down c and e.
• Why a scale is a scale (the notes are in an order of fixed distances. A standard major diatonic
scale is whole-step, whole, half, whole, whole, whole, half) This is what determines where
sharps and flats fall, depending on your starting note.

• What notes are in a given chord (If someone says F#m7sus, you would
know it means the notes f#, a, b, c#, e), and the reverse – If someone says
c,e,g,b,d, you would know the chord is Cmaj9.
• Scales and Keys: What chords are in each key, and when a chord uses a
non-key note (altered chord), OR whether the root of the chord is not in
the key (borrowed chord). The primary chords for a given key (the only
ones that are naturally major chords) are the I, IV and V chords, along
with the relative minor of the I, which would be the vi. (see the diagram at
the end of the chapter).
• The intervals (distances) that make up the notes in a given type of chord,
and how they affect the name of the chord; See chart below.
• The Circle of Fifths (see the diagram at the end of the chapter)
• The sharps and flats for each key (see diagram below). When someone says
“key of E”, you should know that means 4 sharps, f#,c#, g#,d#. Con-
versely, when you see a song with all f’s and c’s sharp and all else natural,
you know you’re in the key of D. This is all entailed in the Circle of Fifths
diagram at the end of the chapter. To remember the order of sharps in
keys use the sentence “Father Charles Goes Downstairs And Eats Beans”.
• The relative minor of any major chord. (i.e. the chord built on the 6th degree
of the scale e.g. C and Am; G and Em, A and F#m, etc).
• At least 3 different positions to play any chord (voicing). Example: F can be
a Barre chord on the first fret with an E-shape, putting the note ‘f’ in the
treble (highest note). It can be a Barre chord on the 5th fret using a C-
shape, putting ‘a’ in the treble. It can also be a Barre chord on the 8th fret
using an A-shape, putting a ‘c’ in the treble. Same chord, three different

219
 voicings.

If you know these things, and understand the chart and diagram at the end of this chapter, you’ll
be in good shape for composing fresh and interesting music in any style.
To help you apply what you learn, use your ears. Get the chord charts for songs that you like, and
look at (a) the types of chords used, and (b) the path of the roots of the chords. Look at when the
roots stay within they key and when they move out of the key (borrow a root from outside the
key). Listen to the effects this movement creates.
The simple principle is that as long as you stay within a key and within the notes of the scale, a
chord/melody combination is going to sound perfectly “normal” and harmonious. Good for creat-
ing a feeling of comfort and familiarity, but no so good for standing out as fresh and exciting.
Too much wandering out of key can create too much tension with not enough release—not a
good feeling.
As with all the lyric principles we’ve discussed, balance is the key. Just as we said it is good to
use at least one unexpected and unusual word in a lyric, it is also good to use at least one unex-
pected and unusual chord in a song or section.
I’m frequently asked, which comes first, melody or chords? That is entirely a matter of personal
preference and creative process. However, here is one generally helpful strategy for using and
unexpected or interesting chords:
When you have a melodic phrase with ‘normal’ in-key chords under it, try this. Pick a significant
note in the phrase (i.e. not a quick passing-tone), and look at what note it is, by name or position.
In the example below, the simple phrase uses the notes g - f# - e - e - f#, sung to the chords G-D-
A-A-D

Let’s focus on the last note in the phrase, the final ‘f#’. Consider that the note ‘f#’ can be sung
without dissonance over ANY chord that contains the note ‘f#’’ in ANY part of the chord. The
note ‘f#’ is contained in all of the following chords:
D, D7, Dmaj7, B, B7, Bm, Bm7, Bmaj7, F#, F#m, F#7, F#m7, Gmaj7, E9, Eadd9, Dbsus4, Ab7,
Bbaug, C-5, and several more.
Try playing and singing the above phrase, and when you come to the last note SING the note f#,
but PLAY any of the other chords listed above. You’ll hear a drastically different effect with
each chord.

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This simple technique will help you keep your listeners’ attention, balancing the familiar and the
unexpected. This is a great way to transition to bridges or choruses, or to create striking modula-
tions. Each different final chord will want to lead to a different place, giving you new melodic
and harmonic options that you might not otherwise have thought of.
To further explore the relationship of a note to underlying chords, try this: Pick one note, let’s
say ‘a’, and sing that one note with la-la, doo-doo, or whatever, and change the chords under it
every 4-8 beats, always with a chord containing ‘a’. You’ll be surprised. Example: Am – D –
Am7 – F—Bmaj7, A, F#m, B7, Esus –etc.
If you have an interesting chord progression and are looking for an interesting melody to go with
it, try this voice-leading approach:
Pick a starting note in your first chord. Then as you change chords, follow where that note goes
in the next chord (i.e. follow a particular finger on the guitar or keyboard).
That will get you started. Then try it again, starting on a different note in the first chord and fol-
lowing that as the chords change. Do it for a third note in the chord. You’ll start to find melody
lines and vocal harmony parts. Then feel free to jump between fingers as they change (or within
the chord) and see what that does for you. Use different chord voicings.
Bottom line: Melody and chords have no right or wrong. Only familiar and unexpected; conso-
nant and dissonant; scalar and non-scalar. Music is based on math and neuropsychology but you
can do quite well just with instinct and a toolset of strategies for making choices. How you use
them is your choice. How they are received is your listeners’ choice. (Remember Birkhoff: Sym-
metry enhances aesthetic perception).

Rhythm
Any thorough discussion of rhythm would fill a book of its own. We discussed some of the im-
portant elements of rhythm in Chapter 20, and in the chapters on the Prosodic aspects of lyrics.
Rhythm, because it is a parameter of both music and language (cadence), is the primary glue that
binds music and words together.
In my years of teaching guitar and percussion and working with thousands of artists, rhythm is
clearly the most challenging parameter for the greatest number of people. Those who are born
with that wonderful natural rhythm sense may never realize how fortunate they are, or how diffi-
cult it is for the majority of folks who do not have a natural rhythm sense.
Learning rhythm requires the ability to count multiple patterns at once, and to transmit them indi-
vidually to different muscle groups in the body. The apparently simple act of playing guitar and
singing requires four distinct mental tracks and neurological paths:
(a) an inner metronome counting the pulse (usually 1-2-3-4).
(b) The strumming hand, usually keeping an eighth-note pace like a ride
cymbal, hitting and missing strings as appropriate to create a particular
pattern (e.g., 1 2 + + 4 +, which is Down Down-Up Up-Down-Up,
where the upstroke of the first ‘and’ and the downstroke of 3 both in-
tentionally miss the strings)

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(c) the chord hand, changing chords, muting as needed for silence or scratch
(d) the voice, singing yet another independent rhythmic pattern
It all looks easy until you ask people to try to keep a basic back-beat with their hands while ask-
ing them to spell their name. Fewer than 1 in 100 can do that on the first try. You have to greatly
admire good percussionists who not only do all of the above, but also have two additional inde-
pendent foot rhythms going as well.
In playing guitar, it is the rhythm hand, not the chord hand which determines the degree of ex-
pression flowing from the instrument – the dynamics and timbral parameters are primarily con-
trolled by the rhythm hand.
Most listeners, even though they might not be able to actually count or play a rhythm, can hear
when it’s not right. The rhythm is the both the literal pulse of the music, and the figurative pulse,
the heartbeat, as well – if it goes into arrhythmia, the song dies.
The important thing to take away here is to do all you can to UNDERSTAND rhythm – even if
you feel it easily. Know the difference between 6/8 and 3/4 time, and between duple and tuple
meter. Understand swing and 12/8 time. Be able to count syncopated rhythms. Re-read the chap-
ters here on rhythm and prosody and be able to speak a lyric over a pulse to hear the alignment of
accents. Be able to count the rhythm of a lyric cadence.
There is a simple skill which you can work on to improve your rhythm sense. When you want
your hands to produce a particular rhythm, speak it with a nonsense syllable – Da-Da, Dee-Dee,
or whatever you like. If it can’t come out of your mouth, it can’t come out of your hands.
Listen to songs you like and follow the percussion lines with your ears. Get to know how drum
beats work to hold all the parts together. When you go into the studio to have your song
recorded, you want to be able to communicate effectively with whomever is doing the percussion
(or understand it clearly if you’re doing your own) to get the right feel for your song. Being able
to program a human-sounding rhythm for a song is an incredibly valuable skill.
I’ve heard many well-written songs get completely derailed by an inappropriate drum beat. Don’t
always rely on the producer or the percussionist to do what’s best. The more knowledgeable you
are about rhythm, the more control you will have over the final realization of your song.

Dynamics and Timbre

These are the workhorses of musical expression, particularly on timbral-rich instruments like
guitar or synthesizer. You can play all the correct chords with the correct rhythm, but if there is
no attention to dynamics and timbre, it will sound like Mr. Roboto (i.e. not the Styx song, but as
if a machine is playing the instrument). There will be no expression or emotive element to the
sound. When a melody needs to be simple to tell a story, it is the changes in timbral and dynamic
textures that create the musical interest.
Listen to the song “Liar” recorded by Three Dog Night. You’ll hear the tremendous effect of dy-
namics. Or listen to keyboard intros of Supertramp’s “The Logical Song” or Billy Joel’s “Allen-
town”. You’ll hear the effect of keyboard dynamics defining a rhythm. Check out the guitar lead

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after the first verse in Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” for a dynamics/timbral combination.
Guitars and keyboards can create a huge tonal palette, of all kinds of sonic colors. Use them as
you would spices in cooking – pinches and dashes in strategic places, to keep the ear’s appetite
titillated and wanting more. When it’s just you and a lone acoustic guitar, you still have a rich
array of timbres. Palm-muted strings, downstrokes on the bass strings, upstrokes on the treble
strings, strum near the bridge, over the sound hole, scratch/chuck, etc. It all does a colorful dance
around your listeners’ ears.
You want to give your lyrics the best possible musical support. Explore the boundaries of your
instrument and exercise ‘sound’ artistic choices as to when to do what. Always think of what
your listener is hearing and the length of audio attention-spans when hearing a constant timbre.
Ears go numb when hearing the same thing for a period of time.
When you go into the studio to produce your song, is it going to be three minutes of the same
texture at a constant volume, or will it be a changing kaleidoscope of sound that keeps giving the
listener something new – without distracting from the content of your lyric? The use of any of
the musical parameters should be in the service of the lyric, unless it’s a groove-based song
where the words are secondary.
Below is a chart giving you the rules for making most of the basic chord types.

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 THE INTERVALS USED FOR MAKING THE COMMON TYPES OF CHORDS

When you see “m” or minor in a chord name it refers only to the third. When you see “7”, it
means the minor 7 interval. Since ‘minor’ in a chord name refers to the 3rd, you can’t say
“minor” to refer to the minor 7 interval, so we just use the number 7. The major 7 interval is re-
ferred to as M7 or maj7. Thus a “m7” chord has a minor 3 and a minor 7 interval. A “7” chord
has a major third and a minor 7 interval. A “maj7” chord has a major 3rd and a major 7 interval.
A mM7 chord has a minor third and a major 7 interval.
You may sometimes hear mention of a 7th chord being called a “Dominant 7th” – this is
WRONG! There is no chord TYPE called a Dominant 7th – it’s just plain 7th. “Dominant 7th “
refers to making the V (fifth) chord of a particular key a 7th. In a key, each chord has a name:
tonic, supertonic, mediant, subdominant, dominant, submediant, and leading tone). In the key of
C, the V chord, that is, the fifth one in the scale, is G – (see diagram, next page). That is the
Dominant. Thus a G7 chord is is a dominant chord which is a 7th, in the key of C. If you are in
the key of E, the fifth is B, thus a B7 is the 7th of the dominant chord. But there is no chord type
called a ‘dominant 7th’, the way you would say ‘suspended 4th’ or ‘diminished 5th’, which are
correct chord types.

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The Circle of 5ths, Scales, & Intervals

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226
 Chapter 27: How to Lead People to Your Music in a Digital Age
“Audience needs are changing—they want to consume media on their terms, anytime, any-
place, anyhow. If we want to stay relevant in the digital age, [we] must respond to this challenge
by some seriously good technological innovation”– Ashley Highfield, BBC

With the maturity of digital delivery and a proliferation of websites that allow easy uploading
and legal downloading of music, the old models of making and marketing CDs are gone. The
shift from an album-based economy to a track-based economy spawns many new considerations
for the Indie artist when the time comes to go into the studio and record.
In the old days, the typical strategy was to record an album, release a featured “single” and peo-
ple would then purchase the whole album, never having heard the other songs. Albums often
contained several ‘filler’ tracks of songs which never would have stood alone.
Today, anyone can easily hear up to 2-minute samples of tracks before purchasing, so the notion
of using filler tracks is essentially useless – ALL the tracks have to be good or the consumer will
just bypass them and download the ones they want. More than ever before, the quality of the
songs is important helping your music rise above the baseline of filler tracks that are out there on
CD Baby, i-Tunes, Amazon, and other internet music sites. If you spend the time and money to
record a filler track, it’s not going to give you the return on your investment in a track-based
music economy as it might have in the old album-based economy.
This leads to the obvious question, is the concept of an “Album” even valid anymore? Should an
artist spend time and money making a physical CD, when CD sales are rapidly declining and dig-
ital sales are increasing? If you are a touring artist, you’ll still (for now) want physical CDs to
sell at gigs, but remember that the ultimate goal is always to be able to generate income without
having to be physically present.

Content is King
Consider how a typical listener comes to find new music. As an Indie artist, it’s fair to assume
that most people have never heard of you. How will they find your songs? The most likely path
to your music will come from consumers doing Internet searches on topics which have nothing to
do with you. However, if your website contains content that might be of interest to particular
groups of people, they will find you and then discover your music. For example, I have lots of
website content about hunger and homelessness, and also about songwriting techniques. I’ve had
lots of folks around the world find me and my music because they were searching on those top-
ics, and now they’ve become fans. Think of the content on your website as a net to catch Internet
searchers.
Another way to increase the effectiveness of your net is to put the lyrics to all your songs online
as a separate page for each song. If you write songs about various topics, people searching those
topics will be more likely to find your content. Again, the importance of the songwriting comes
to the fore. If you just write generally about love and how you broke up or got together, you’re
going to be lost in an ocean of similar content. If however, you want to write about those things
and use some interesting metaphors, like “your love is kryptonite” (a Superman reference) or

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“My heart is as parched as the desert of Tatooine” (a Star Wars reference), you’re now providing
potential hooks for people with specific interests. In this age of niche marketing, specificity is al-
ways going to be a big plus. Over the years, I’ve been commissioned to write songs about a sub-
marine, a river, a statue, horseback riding, Special Olympics, and various other unusual but spe-
cific things. These songs get found by people searching for related content. As an example, my
submarine song about the USS Connecticut is often mentioned on websites of Navy personnel.
In a track-based digital music world, there are some things we’ve lost from the album-based
model. Concept albums like the “Days of Future Past” (Moody Blues) , or “The Who Sell Out”
(The Who) don’t translate well to a track-based model. The order of tracks and the transitional
content between them were essential to making concept albums work as a whole. With individual
digital tracks available in any order, the artist can no longer control how the listener will hear the
content. Each song will have to be able to stand alone, and transitional material between songs is
meaningless, and complicates where to place the track markers. If you want to do a concept
album with transitional material, it is a good idea to submit a different version for digital down-
load, where any inter-song transitional material is omitted. With many sites giving a 30-second
clip to preview the song, it’s important to limit the length of musical introductions and get right
into the song, unless you can specify the section to use for the preview clip.

Critical Mass
Similar to a concept album, but more in tune with today’s market is the themed-album. This is a
collection of individual songs, each of which could stand alone, but all of which relate to some
common and specific theme e.g., high school life, baseball, rural life, spirituality, boats, etc. This
serves two purposes. It makes it much easier to identify a target audience, enabling you to focus
your promo efforts. It also provides a critical mass of content on the Internet, making a much
bigger net for catching Internet searches about that topic. The more specific the theme, the better.

What’s in a Name?
One of the most important things to think about in a digital world is the song title. Typically the
title of a song going to be a phrase in the first or last line of the chorus, as that is the most easily
remembered part of the song. But it might not be the most unique phrase as far as search key-
words go. So you can use the technique of double-titling, where the song has one primary title,
followed by a second in parentheses. An example would be Rupert Holmes’ song “Escape (The
Pina Colada Song). In the aftermath of hurricane Katrina, I produced a song by a fellow writer
called “Daydream” about memories of growing up in New Orleans. I suggested that it would be
advisable to double-title the song calling it “Daydream (The Levees of New Orleans)”. You can
see the difference that would make in number of search hits the song receives.
If you can come up with a title which is similar to some word or phrase which is commonly
searched, it will be a big help to you. Before there was the “High School the Musical” phenome-
non, I released my CD and song “High School My School”. This gets many hundreds of hits
each day from people searching “High School Musical”. If you can generate high web traffic,
you only need to convert a small portion of that into sales to start seeing meaningful royalties.

To Summarize:

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In today’s world of individual tracks and search engines, make it a part of your overall planning
to think about how you can maximize the web traffic that each of your songs can generate. Think
of lyrics, titles, and subject matter as web content. Make sure each song is truly strong enough to
stand on its own as if it were a featured single. Learn how search engines like Google work and
optimize your website content to draw people to you. Cast a well-thought-out net, and you’ll be
well-rewarded.

OUTRO
“Don’t stop believin’ – Hold on to that feeling”— Journey

That brings us to the end of this journey. Writing this book marks a thirty-year sojourn through
the labyrinth that comprises songwriting, and into the nooks and crannies of the hearts and minds
of songwriters, artists, and listeners.
I hope you have found something useful to take with you along your own journey, to be able to
walk the paths you choose with your eyes wide open.
There is additional information, including an extensive reference book list, on my website at
www.billpere.com, on the book website www.songcrafterscoloringbook.com, and at my blog,
“Songcrafters Coloring Book”. Feel free to visit and leave any comments.
The Appendix sections which follow contain additional information which amplifies some of the
topics presented in the book.
I thank you for allowing me to guide you on this trip.
And, as Harry Chapin once told me, above all, keep writing!

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APPENDIX I:
Complete Analysis: The Crib in the Creche

People often ask me what’s the best song I’ve ever written and does it do all the things it says in
this book? In my career so far, I’ve written more than 400 songs. Out of every twenty I write,
perhaps one gets to go into my inner circle of those that I’m really proud of, and maybe 3-5 more
go into the group of reasonably decent. The rest just go into a notebook, to come out if an appro-
priate occasion arises. Of all my songs, the one that seems to work best with audiences across all
age groups and demographics is “The Crib in the Creche”. It was written from a childhood mem-
ory that was brought to the forefront shortly after my mother passed away. She would often take
in and befriend poor and homeless people while we lived in New York city.
The song uses just about every technique mentioned in this book and took about a week to write
and craft. I judge its effectiveness by the responses and comments I get from listeners, and I have
accumulated enough sounding board feedback to know that it does the job I want it to do.

The Crib in the Creche (A Pyayer From Me) Words and Music by Bill Pere
A Complete Analysis of the Lyrical Anatomy of the Song

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Five-fold alliteration on “f.
Establishes that there is a group of people (“Their”)
Establishes point of view (“I”) and voice (thinking, not speaking)
Establishes the setting i.e. “where”
Establishes the “When” and the sensory information of cold
4-fold assonance on the short “i” sound
Alliteration on “c”.
Alliteration on “f”.
Establishes time-frame movement, and a conflict needing resolution
Assonance, and set up next rhyme
Repeat “last” with an alternate meaning (verb vs. adverb)
“Long “ is a musical high point, and this point rhymes across all five
verses
Repeat “last” with an alternate meaning (verb vs. adverb)
Alliteration on “s”.
“Swallowed” is a semantic pivot, simultaneously having the literal (eat)
and figurative (pride) meanings
Overall, by the end of Verse 1, we have all the necessary infomation
about the people, time, place, and situation to picture the scene.
3-fold Alliteration on “s”.
“Warmth”, to contrast with the cold of Verse 1 and “Soul” as a seman-
tic pivot (soul vs. sole of a shoe in next line)
“Fall on my knees” evokes the line from “O Holy Night”, “Fall on your
Knees”
4-fold alliteration on“w” .
The verb “weave” to go with the reference of clothes.
The melody of this line is the melody of “We three kings of Orient
are…”. “Freezing winds” is assonant with “We Three kings”, and the
syllables “orient” in “disorient” fall in exactly the same place as in
“We Three Kings”
Show, don’t tell—The line shows through an action (trying to remember
how to pray), that the man has turned away from God some time ago.
3-fold alliteration on “l”, and 2 on “g”

The background choir here sings a line from “We Three Kings”, i.e.,
“Westward leading, still proceeding, Guide us to Thy perfect light”, re-

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referenceing the “freezing winds” line and the “light to lead me along”
If the chorus were preceded with “And that’s why I say…” it would be
logical.
The chorus raises the key question of the song, and raises the listener’s
anticipation that an answer might be forthcoming.
Musically, the chorus is totally different from the verse, with a different
tonal center, and contains a rhythmic half-measure (3 beats rather than
6). The verses are lyrically complex and musically simple - The chorus
is musically complex and lyrically simple.

Developing the idea from verse 2 that the man is trying to remember
how to pray, it now is shown that he is trying
This evokes the line from “The First Noel, the angels did say….”
Show, don’t tell—It is shown that the man is asking God to forgive him

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“Swell” does double-duty, as a para-rhyme with “swill”, and as a per-
fect rhyme with “yell”.
“Drown” is a semantic pivot, referring to drinking liquid, and also to
drowning out pain and sound
3-fold alliteration on “s”, 2 on “c”, 2 on “n”, 2 on “p”
Assonance with now, drown, and out; Repetition with no(te) and No(el).
The background choir here sings the first part of the refrain from “The
First Noel”.
5-fold alliteration on “s”; Rhyme with pour/sore/soar; Semantic pivot
with soar/sore
A semantic pivot with “spirits”, used here literally as in alcohol, but it is
also in the semantic field of soul, God, angels, prayer, and that group of
references.
Parallel construction in group of 3, usually effective for emphasizing a
point, as in so sore; so weak; so cold .

“Ounce” used here with “strength”, is also in the semantic field of liq-
uid which has been established through bottle pour, spirits, and swill.
“Cast a stone” is a biblical reference i.e. “let he who is without sin cast
the first stone”
internal rhyme
parallel opposite construction: so weak, so strong.
3-fold alliteration on “s”
The background choir here sings the first line of “Joy to the World.”
Overall, the story moves forward we now know that the man is succumb-
ing to the cold and is trying unsuccessfully to get the attention of the
people inside the church.
The chorus is repeated, same as the first time, still logically following a \
mental insertion of “And that’s why I say….”

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6-fold alliteration on “s”.
“Pass” is used in three different phrases, i.e. “pass by”, “pass out”,
and “pass around”, providing parallel constructions.
The images maintain the contrast between warm and cold; between hav-
ing food and being hungry.
5-fold alliteration on “p”

• External referencing to evoke “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”, but wil opposite mean-
ing

“If I am truly forsaken” evokes the Biblical reference “Why have you
forsaken me?”
The background choir here sings “Good tidings of comfort and joy”,
from “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”

Alliteration on “m” and 4-fold on “s”

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3-fold alliteration on the hard “c”

Recaps the line from verse 1, “Been an hour or two since I last felt my
feet”

Parallel construction

The background choir here sings the line from “Good King Wenceslas”
: “He who now will help the poor shall himself find blessing”

The chorus, maintaining the same music, is now lyrically different, to re-
flect the turnaround in the situation. The insertion of “ and that’s why I
say” is now logical for the new chorus. The listener’s anticipation of
wanting an answer to the questions of the prior choruses is now fulfilled.

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 APPENDIX II QUICK GUIDE TO SONGWRITING
TOOLS AND TESTS:
1. The Concrete/Abstract Test—When you have finished a draft of your song, count the nouns
in your lyric and list each one as concrete or abstract. What is the balance? If less than half of
your nouns are abstract, your song will likely miss up to 70% of general listeners.
2. The “That’s Why I Say” Test—At the end of a verse and before the beginning of the chorus,
mentally insert “And that’s why I say…” Then, if the chorus logically follows that, it tells you
that the verse and chorus are working well together, with the verse setting up the chorus. Alterna-
tives to “and that’s why I say…” could be: “ and he says”; “I and I heard them say…” “that’s
when she told me…”, etc.
3. The Stranger Test—When you say something in a song, or plan to do something with it in
terms of performance or marketing, ask yourself how you would react if a stranger, not particu-
larly well-dressed, approached you on the street and started saying or doing those things to you.
Would you welcome their interruption of your life? Are you obligated to them in any way?
Would you understand what they’re saying? And most importantly, would you care enough to
give them your time and money? Then remember that you are the stranger, as far as your poten-
tial listeners are concerned.
4. The Lyric Cadence Test—READ your lyric, just as you would in normal conversation, or if
you were reading prose. As you read, note the accented syllables, and the specific words in each
line which are receiving emphasis. Mark them on your lyric sheet. Then sing the lyric and make
sure the musical rhythm does not cause any of those syllable or word accents to move. to a dif-
ferent place. If it does, Fix It !
5. The Contrastive Stress Test— This should be done in conjunction with the Lyric Cadence
Test above. As you sing your lyric, note the emphasized words in each line. Then ask yourself
“as opposed to what”? Is that the meaning you want? Is this how you would speak the line in
conversation? If not, Fix it! (Example: She was a heavy SMOKER—as opposed to a heavy
drinker. She was a HEAVY smoker – as opposed to a light smoker or a svelte smoker. She WAS
a heavy smoker – as opposed to now she doesn’t smoke at anymore.)
6. The 6 W’s Test By the end of the song, do we know Who the characters are? What the situa-
tion is? Where the events are happening? When they are happening? Why they are happening?
How things got this way and How they will resolve? Do all of these things matter in this particu-
lar song or can some of them be left as entrance points for the listener to personalize? How much
of this information is conveyed in the first verse and first chorus? (the more, the better).
7. The Mapping Test—Map your song as shown in the chapter on Song Mapping. Do you have
consistent verse-to-verse line structure and rhyme scheme? If not, is it a clear and conscious
eyes-wide-open decision on your part that you cannot achieve structural consistency without sac-
rificing more important elements of the song? Is there any cross-verse rhyming?

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8. The Sonic Activity Evaluation—This can be done most easily in conjunction with Song
Mapping, but can also be done on its own. Identify all the ping-points in your lyric. Score each
verse: Count simple alliteration (the initial sound of a syllable) as one point – e.g. Jump, Jerk,
Jazz; One point for simple assonance i.e. same vowel sound with different consonants on either
side (sIgn, tIme, wIde); Two points for the first sound plus the same first vowel sound of a sylla-
ble (Jump, inJUstice, Jutting); Two points for the same first and last sound of a syllable with a
different vowel i.e. para rhymes ; (PiN, PaN, PuN); Two points for a sonic reversal (lever, revel);
Three points if there is a perfect rhyme. Is there enough to keep stimulating the ear? Are all the
verses sonically balanced? Do the chorus and bridge have enough ping points?
9. The Forward Motion and Interchangeability of Lines Test—If your song format is a story
song, is each line moving the events forward and conveying new information. If the line was not
there, would it make a difference? Is each line playing some essential part in unfolding the tale?
10. The Tone Constancy / Semantic Field Test—Look at all your nouns, verbs and adjectives.
Are they consistent with a single semantic field, and is that semantic field based on the concrete
part of your over-arching metaphor (conceit) if you have one. Are there any apples among your
oranges?
11. The Accessibility Test –- This is most easily done in conjunction with the 6W’s Test. Have
you been specific enough where you want to control your meaning so that listener cannot overlay
their own interpretation? Are your references specific and widely known to your target audience?
Can you identify points of entry for listeners to personalize their own version of the song while
making the key parts of your intended message unchangeable?

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 APPENDIX III

The Top 40—(well, actually 45) A Checklist of Some Essen-

tial Songwriting Skills
(NOT in order of importance – they’re all important!)

All songwriters want to write the best songs they can, but it’s hard to know what skills to apply,
when, and how. The things on this list represent some of the key skills, other than inherent cre-
ative ability and drive to succeed, which enable songwriters to reach the pinnacle of their craft.
These and other skills are discussed in detail throughout the rest of this book.
1. Be able to easily differentiate concrete and abstract nouns, and active and passive verbs.
2. Be able to identify the cadence of any lyrical phrase and overlay it onto a steady pulse.
3. Be able to hear any misplaced lyrical accent in a word or phrase.
4. Be able to separate one’s own subjective taste (” I like it”) from objective analysis (“It’s well-
written”) so that you can say “I don’t like that song but it is well-crafted”, or “I like that song,
but it’s not particularly well-crafted”.
5. Know your artistic identity. Have a to-the-point, informative, and engaging “elevator spiel”
i.e. a quick description of who you are and what you do that you can deliver in 30 seconds to a
potential consumer.
6. Always know what you are writing about and what is motivating you to write it.
7. Be able to put yourself in the shoes of your listener to understand how they will most likely
react to each aspect of your song.
8. Always seek out objective input about your songs while they are still works-in-progress, and
being open to constructive suggestions.
9. Do not be complacent with having “x” number of fans when you could have “x + 1”.
10. Be attentive to the 6W’s – the who, what, when, where, why, how in your lyric.
11. Be able to pick out ping-points in a song (the points of sonic activity) and develop the ability
to create them.
12. Be attuned to the Klang of each word in a lyric
13. Be able to balance the familiar with the unexpected
14. Be true to what you want to say while universalizing it for others to embrace
15. Know the right time and place to use an unexpected chord or an unusual word.

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16. Have a strong sense of song structure and how to create manageable, identifiable chunks for
your listeners.
17 Be constantly aware that you know your words and what they mean, but the rest of the world
is clueless and can’t read your mind or understand poorly enunciated lyrics.
18. Always seek to expand your vocabulary. Learn a new word every day.
19. Know the difference between transitive and intransitive verbs.
20. Always keep track of who is speaking, your camera angle, and setting, and not changing
them without letting the listener know that they’re changing
21. Keep an accurate awareness of subject-verb agreement and consistency of verb tense.
22. Know the essentials of music theory, in terms of scales, keys, intervals, and how they relate
to chords.
23. Learn the Circle of Fifths.
24. Recognize and eliminate unneeded words and notes. In songs, less is more
25. Get to the lyrics quickly in a song. Don’t use long musical introductions. If a song is lyric-
driven, don’t put long instrumentals in the middle of a song.
26. Convey the greatest amount of information in the fewest possible words.
27. Consider each syllable in a song to be like real estate – a limited amount of space in which to
build a development of information.
28. Show, don’t tell. Persuade, don’t preach.
29. Know what you’re good at and what you’re not good at. If someone can do it better than you
(sing, play, write a melody, arrange, etc), enlist their help.
30. Work with others, but make your expectations and terms clear up front. Don’t assume any-
thing.
31. Treat all collaborators fairly and with respect.
32. Consciously consider each parameter in a song and decide how you want to treat it.
33. Know the difference between songcraft, stagecraft, and studiocraft.
34. Know the difference between creative inspiration and song crafting.
35. Always remain open to rewriting and revising if it can improve your song.
36. Keep your antennae out for moments in life, in the news, in a book, which affect you.
37. Evaluate your appeal in terms of percent, not absolute numbers. Look at the ullage.
38. Don’t let anyone tell you that you “Can’t” achieve something.
39. Understand how people think and communicate. Read books that teach about this.

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40. Be able to instantly find and follow the downbeats in any song and hear the phrasing of the
lyric relative to it.
41. Leave space in your songs for the listener to enter, but not so much space that they take over
your meaning.
42. Always look ahead to your next song; Don’t dwell on what you’ve already written.
43. Make sure that verses after the first do not repeat the same information. Move the story or
idea along.
44 Know when a line is not moving your song forward. Recognize and revise interchangeable
lines.
45. Develop balance between tension/release ; new/familiar; and symmetry/asymmetry.
And above all else, Keep writing !

Appendix IV: BONUS ESSAY

Sale: The Seven C’s
The essence of a great song is Communication…a song that communi-
cates will be a Commercial success and an artistic Classic. These three “C’s”
are goals that most songwriters seek to achieve. While navigating the route
from creation to realization, there are four other “C’s” that can help you fore-
see success. Remember that in the key of C, nothing is accidental.
The voyage from creation to realization has four stops along the way. Each has something spe-
cific to offer which is critical to the objective of coming up with the kind of song that can be
called a Classic. These four points are: Creation, Craft, Critique, and Collaboration. Sometimes,
in our haste to get from a great idea to a great song, we sail along at high speed, seeking short-
cuts and bypassing one or more of these important harbors. The results often fall short of their
full potential. For many writers, the sheer ecstasy of the creative process is so uplifting that the
raw result of a burst of inspiration is considered a final result. The truth is that it gets you only to
the first stop on the journey.
A song begins with tapping the creative wellspring inside to find the feelings, ideas, concerns,
and dreams that are important enough to you to want to share with others. Through that miracle
we call inspiration, an exciting new way of expressing these things reveals itself to you, and a
song is born.
Whether a child or a song, birth is the start of a journey to maturity. The next phase, usually the
most difficult, is the crafting process. A child’s early years involve active shaping of the values
and motivations that will define the adult. With a song, the initial expression of the idea is usu-
ally unpolished, particularly in the areas of Clarity to other listeners, Conciseness of expression,
and balance between references to Concepts (love, truth, beauty) and Concrete things (cars,
clothes, jewelry). The crafting process means tapping into the parts of yourself which are the
complement of your creative side…your analytical self. Each word in a lyric must pass the tests

240
of being metaphorically consistent (no apples among oranges); rhythmically correct (no mis-
placed accents); generally understandable (no sesquipedalian pedantry); easy to sing (no lines
about the sick sheik’s sixth sheep); freshly rhymed (clear up and syrup, not moon and June); and
many more.
Crafting is the first place where the art and science of song come together (the recording studio is
another place). You may find you are naturally comfortable with applying the techniques of
crafting, or you may find it is a great effort for you. Either way, each song needs a stop early in
its life at the crafting dock. But how will you know how good a job you are doing?
When you find yourself asking that question, it’s time to move on to the next port of call. Like a
teenager or young adult adjusting himself/herself based on feedback from others, a song which
has gone through some initial crafting is ready for Critique. This does not mean playing it for
your spouse or your pet. It does not mean playing it for someone and being unprepared to hear
anything but positive responses. It means playing the song for an impartial group of listeners and
being open to whatever they may have to say. It remains your final decision to take or leave as
much of their advice as you wish, but it’s important to listen with an open mind. The critique
process can help you with areas of crafting where you might not be fluent, and can also serve as
a small scale exercise in test marketing. Just as our aforementioned teenager is not always going
to get sound advice from peers (e.g., “Let’s get drunk tonight and go swimming”), the critique
you get will have a mixture of valuable advice and fool’s gold. There are techniques you can use
for determining what kind of critique to ask for and how to interpret the kinds of critique you get.
These have been discussed in the chapter on “Taking the Mystique Out of Critique”.
Your song may spend some time on its journey ferrying back and forth between the crafting dock
and the critiquing dock. With critique comes revision and with revision comes critique. You of
course are the ultimate judge of when you are done, but it’s important to make at least one pass
through that loop.
The last stop on the voyage is one which is open 24 hours a day and is centrally located i.e., you
can go there anytime from any other point. This is the Collaboration dock. Few art forms can
benefit from collaboration like songwriting can. Songwriting, like parenting, is very complex and
requires many skills (creativity, linguistic skill, analytical ability, music composition and arrang-
ing, production, electronic literacy, business sense, people sense, and more). It is rare to find one
individual who has developed all of those skills to a high degree. Thus, a song must often be
touched by many hands to become a complete package, ready to take on the world. Collaborators
can help you create, craft, produce, record package and promote your song. There are very spe-
cific things you can look for when seeking a collaborator, to provide the right complements for
the skills you have, and for areas where you need help. These are discussed in the Chapter on
“Taking the Labor Out of Collaboration”.
To summarize: Look at your song as having a life which must be nurtured, refined, and guided
to maturity before it can stand on its own. Getting there is a voyage across the “C’s” with spe-
cific stops along the way. The creative process is a beginning, to be followed by phases of craft-
ing, and critiquing, with collaboration along the way as needed. These four C’s—Creation,
Craft, Critique, and Collaboration are a powerful combination of processes which add up to
the most important “C” of all – Communication. When this is achieved, your song can become
a Commercial success and an artistic Classic.

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LIST OF SONGS USED AS ANALYTICAL EXAMPLES
This is the list of songs which are quoted for analytical, educational purposes in this book. The
HFA numbers are identifiers assigned by the Harry Fox Agency.
In addition to these, many other songs are mentioned by title and writer in the various chapters,
and all of these are recommended as resources for you to listen to hear how the techniques pre-
sented here are applied.
Chapter 5

Bus Stop words and music by Graham Gouldman ©Copyright Bramsdene

Music Corp - EMI
Blackwood Music Inc OBO Man-Ken Music, LTD HFA B83760
City of New Orleans words and music by Steve Goodman © Copyright Juris-
dad Music HFA C56374
Brother Love’s Travelin’ Salvation Show words and music by Neil Diamond
© Copyright Stonebridge Music
Backfield In Motion words and music by M. McPherson/M. Hardin © Copy-
right Patcheal Music/Cachand Music Inc. HFA B11160
Only the Good Die Young words and music by Billy Joel © Copyright Impul-
sive Music HFA 066710
Chapter 7

Late Night Bus words and music by Bill Pere ©Copyright Bill Pere/Kid-
ThinkMusic
Tatterdemalion words and music by Bill Pere ©Copyright Bill Pere/Kid-
ThinkMusic
Songs About Me words and music by E. Hill& S. Smith ©EMI Blackwood
Music HFAS2039K
Chapter 8
Poem on the Underground Wall words and music by Paul Simon © Copy-
right WB Music Corp
Love on Every Page words and music by Bill Pere © Copyright Bill
Pere/KidThink Music
Requiem for the Masses words and music by Terry Kirkman © Beechwood
Music HFA R34600
Dance Band on the Titanic words and music by Harry Chapin Copyright
WB Music Corp

242
 OBO Story Songs LTD HFA D03710
Chapter 9

Longer words and music by Dan Fogelberg ©Copyright EMI April Music
HFA L63328
All God’s Critters words and music by Bill Staines ©Copyright Bug
Music/Mineral River Music HFA A39556
Movin’ Out words and music Billy Joel ©Copyright Impulsive Music HFA
M6345K
Garbage words and music by William Steele © William Steele
Bein’ Cool words and music by Bill Pere ©Copyright Bill Pere/KidThink
Music
All I Need Is a Friend words and music by Bill Pere ©Copyright Bill
Pere/KidThink Music
Chapter 10

Queen of the Silver Dollar words and music Shel Silverstein ©Copyright
Evil Eye Music HFA Q40800
Chapter 13

Crest of a Wave words and music by Bill Pere ©Copyright Bill Pere/Kid-
Think Music
The Other Side of the Wave words and music by Bill Pere ©Copyright Bill
Pere/KidThinkMusic
Down on Easy Street words and music by Les Julian © Copyright Les Julian
Wrought Iron Ring words and music by Bill Pere ©Copyright Bill Pere/Kid-
ThinkMusic
Piano Man words and music by Billy Joel © Copyright Joelsongs HFA
P39432
What Love Really Means words and music by Bill Pere ©Copyright Bill
Pere/KidThinkMusic
Chapter 14

You Make Me Believe in Me… words and music by Bill Pere ©Copyright
Bill Pere/KidThink Music
Snakes and Ladders words and music by Greg Ham © Copyright EMI
Blackwood Music Inc
OBO EMI Songs Australia HFA S15798

243
Chapter 15

You Make Me Believe in Me… words and music by Bill Pere ©Copyright
Bill Pere/KidThinkMusic
We Can’t Make It Here words and music by James McMurtry ©Copyright
Bug Music
OBO Short Trip Music HFA W2278A
At the End of the Day from “Les Miserables”, Lyrics by Herbert Kretzmer
(translated from French)
© Alain Boubil Music Ltd. HFA A82238
Inherit the Earth words and music by Bill Pere © Copyright Bill Pere/Kid-
ThinkMusic
I Second That Emotion words and music by William (Smokey) Robinson and
Alfred Cleveland
© Copyright Jobete Music Co HFA I28630
Higher Than She’s Ever Been Before words and music by Jim Morgan and
David Sacks © Copyright Morgan/Sacks 1983; from “Hype”
Rings words and music by Eddie Reeves and Alex Harvey © Copyright EMI
Unart Catalog Inc HFA R49000
Chapter 16

Impresario words and music by Bill Pere © Copyright Bill Pere/Kid-

ThinkMusic
Dance Band on the Titanic words and music by Harry Chapin © Copyright
WB Music Corp
OBO Story Songs LTD HFA D03710
The Thief words and music by Bill Pere ©Bill Pere/KidThinkMusic
Brother Love’s Travelin’ Salvation Show words and Music by Neil Diamond
© Copyright
Harry and Joe words and music by A.J. Gundell © Copyright A.J. Gundell
Millworker words and music by James Taylor © Copyright Country Road
Music Inc HFA M05888
My Name Is Mary words and music by Bill Pere © Copyright Bill Pere/Kid-
ThinkMusic
Same Old Lang Syne words and music by Dan Fogelberg, © Copyright EMI
April Music Inc HFA S0313A
Chapter 18

244
You Are the Sunshine of My Life words and music Stevie Wonder © Copy-
right Jobete Music/ Black Bull Music Inc, HFA Y20500
Sounds of Silence words and music Paul Simon © Copyright MCA Music
HFA S59797
Who Will Answer words and music L.E.Aute and Sheila Davis, BMG Songs
Inc HFA W56822
Something About You words and music Mark King,, Roland Gould, Philip
Gabriel Gould, , Mike Lindup, Waliou Jacques Daniel Badarou
©Copyright Chappel & Co OBO Level 42 Music Ltd HFA S49815
What Love Really Means words and music by Bill Pere ©Copyright 2005
Bill Pere/KidThinkMusic
Day of Reckoning words and music by Gretchen Peters © Sony/ATV Cross
Keys Publishing HFA I03441
Chapter 19

Chimney Smoke words and music Gimbel & Coleman © Copyright Gimbel
Music Group Inc, HFA C20421
Inherit the Earth words and music by Bill Pere © Copyright Bill Pere/Kid-
ThinkMusic
Coruscate words and music by Bill Pere ©Copyright Bill Pere/KidThinkMu-
sic
This Kiss, words and music Robin Lerner, Annie Roboff, Beth Nielsen Chap-
man ©Warner-Tamerlane Pub Corp, Almo Music, Bughouse Music,
HFA T14952
Chapter 21

Put on a Happy Face words and music Lee Adams/Charles Strouse

©Williamson Music Co HFA P87300
Ornament words and music by Bill Pere © Copyright Bill Pere/KidThinkMu-
sic
Rain Dance words and music Burt Cummings/Kurt Winter © Bug Music
HFA R05032
If My Mary Were Here words and music Harry Chapin © WB Music Corp
HFA I56372
Another Touch of Gray words and Music by Bill Pere © Copyright Bill
Pere/KidThinkMusic
Taunted words and music by Bill Pere © Copyright Bill Pere/KidThinkMusic

245
Shambala words and music Danny Moore © Songs of Universal Inc, HFA
S18380
Chapter 22

Heart of the Storm words and music by Bill Pere © Copyright Bill Pere/Kid-
ThinkMusic
My Tears and the Tide words and music by Bill Pere © Copyright Bill
Pere/KidThinkMusic
What Our Children Teach words and music by Bill Pere © Copyright Bill
Pere/KidThinkMusic
Mercenaries words and music by Harry Chapin ©WB Music OBO Chapin
Music HFA M50616
Born of a Smile words and music by Bill Pere © Copyright Bill Pere/Kid-
ThinkMusic
Another Touch of Gray words and music by Bill Pere © Copyright Bill
Pere/KidThinkMusic
Magic words and music by John Farrar, recorded by Olivia Newton-John
Mrs Brown You’ve Got a Lovely Daughter words and music by T. Peacock,
©Unichappell Music, Inc HFA M6580
Day Tripper words and music by Lennon/McCartney © EMI Blackwood
Music HFA D12960
WOLD words and music by Harry Chapin ©Story Songs Ltd, HFA W74230
At the End of the Day English lyrics by H. Kretzmer ©Alain Boubil Music
Ltd, HFA A82238
The Yard Went on Forever words and music by Jimmy Webb, ©Univesal
Polygram International HFA Y04320
Make Your Own Kind of Music words and music by Barry Mann/Cynthia
Weil © Screen Gems – EMI, HFA M07600
Something About You words and music Mark King,, Roland Gould, Philip
Gabriel Gould, , Mike Lindup, Waliou Jacques Daniel Badarou
©Copyright Chappel & Co OBO Level 42 Music Ltd HFA S49815
The Ballad of Davey Crockett Lyrics by Tom Blackburn music by George
Bruns ©Wonderland Music HFA B16341
Baba O’Riley (Teenage Wasteland) words and music Pete Townsend
©Abkco Music Inc Townsend Catalog HFA B11301
The Crib in the Creche words and music by Bill Pere © Copyright Bill
Pere/KidThinkMusic

246
Let Me Count the Ways words and music by Bill Pere © Copyright Bill
Pere/KidThinkMusic
Goodnight Saigon words and music by Billy Joel © Copyright JoelSongs
HFA G59748
I’m Not That Girl words and music by Stephen Schwartz © Copyright Grey-
dog Music
Chapter 23

The Logical Song- words and music by Richard Davies/Roger Hodgson ©

Almo Music, HFA L13918
The Unicorn-words and Music by Margie Adam ©Libyris Music Co
Shooting Star words and music by Harry Chapin ©WB Music Corp. HFA
S26029
Cool Cool Considerate Men by Sherman Edwards from “1776”, copyright
control non-HFA
Big Shot words and music by Billy Joel ©Impulsive Music HFA B40393
Chapter 25

Up High in the Sky (Poet’s Song) words and music by Bill Pere © Copyright
Bill Pere/KidThinkMusic
doG words and music by Bill Pere © Copyright Bill Pere/KidThinkMusic
Appendix 1

The Crib in the Creche words and music by Bill Pere © Copyright Bill
Pere/KidThinkMusic

247