Lenguaje Emociones 12345

SELF-MASTERY A JOURNEY HOME TO YOUR…SELF!
LESSON FOUR
THE LANGUAGE OF FEELINGS

The Language of Feelings is the Language of your Intuitive Self
I'll never forget that day because the weather outside perfectly mirrored the
emotionally charged coaching session I was experiencing inside. I had just
completed a session with a client who had a Ph.D. in mental health, when she
exploded saying, "You don't know a damn thing about feelings!" Her emotional
outburst angered me, for deep within me I realized that she was right. My client's
intense frustration changed my life because her feelings made me realize that my
Spirit was crying out for me to learn all that I could about the Language of
Feelings.
The Language of Feelings is the language of your intuitive Self! Your heart feels
the intuitive messages that are sent to you by Spirit. Your uncomfortable feelings
are messages that you are out of harmony with your Self. When you resist, repress,
or deny your feelings, you disconnect yourself from your Self. Since the average
emotional age of the adults in the US is only fourteen, and since most fourteen year
olds have not mastered how to communicate their feelings, most of us have
modeled caretakers who never learned how to maturely communicate how they
feel.
“Focus your attention on the feelings inside you. Don’t think about it,
don’t let your feelings turn into thinking. Stay present,
and continue to be the observer of what is happening inside of you!”
ECKHART TOLLE
The Language of Feelings is Yin energy. My experiences have taught me that the
majority of us are disconnected from, and are resistant to, reconnecting with our
Yin or feeling energy. Yin energy is the nurturing, intuitive, sensitive energy that
all humans possess.
I thank God that at least sometimes our society rewards women for displaying their
feelings. In the book, Women and Their Emotions, author Miriam Neff states that,
"There's something to be gained from a women's perspective on feelings. Women's
feelings are typically more intense than a man's." Dr. Elaine Aron supports Neff's
viewpoint about women's heightened emotional intensity in her book, The Highly
Sensitive Person. Dr. Aron notes that twenty percent of the population possesses
For additional Information call Holistic Learning Centers, Inc. 1
888-HLC-0878 or visit HLCs’ website: www.HolisticLearningCenter.com
highly sensitive nervous systems and that ninety percent of these highly sensitive
persons are women.
In general, our society rewards us for suppressing our feelings. As a result, we

"think" that we have little incentive or motivation to learn how to feel our feelings.
This is no surprise, because we are taught that feelings have nothing to do with
success. In fact, in some instances our Western society teaches us that feelings can
actually hinder success. The Spiritual Distinction Meditation (in Lesson Nine) is an
excellent exercise to help you reawaken your ability to feel what your intuitive
heart is trying to tell you.
FEELINGS ARE NEITHER RIGHT NOR WRONG –

THEY JUST ARE
The FEELINGS CHART for EMOTIONAL DISTINCTION is an excellent tool to

help you interpret, use, and master your intuitive feelings. You can use it the same
way you would use a dictionary to help you interpret Russian if you were visiting
Russia and didn’t know how to speak the language.
Your feelings are messages sent to you by your Self to help you feel your way
through life. As you learn how to interpret the Language of Feelings, you’ll begin
to feel your healing feelings, which will help you to row your boat serenely down
the stream of life.
A HU NOTE: The challenge most people have with processing their feelings is that they are trying
to process them through their “thinking mind.” You can’t THINK your FEELINGS. You either feel
them or you repress them with THOUGHTS.
When your Self sends you an intuitive message, such as frustration, it’s trying to
communicate to you that something you are doing (or not doing) is out of harmony
with your spiritual purpose for living (your Dharma). If you try to THINK about
what you’re FEELING, you’ll simply pull up your history software from your
mind. Your mind is a quagmire of recorded thoughts from your personal history. In
an attempt to feel safe, sane, or secure, your mind will remember similar situations
from your past. Therefore, if your past relationships were filled with heartbreak,
then your mind, in an attempt to keep you from re-experiencing pain, will create
any evidence that your ego needs to believe that your new relationship will also
cause you pain. Your mind will try to tell you with thoughts how you “should feel”
about your new relationship. This reminds me of the spiritual joke that asks… “Are
you shoulding on your Self again?”

HONOR your FEELINGS…
FACE them, EMBRACE them, and then RELEASE them
When I’m afraid to feel my feelings (consciously or unconsciously), I’m

experiencing the F.E.A.R. (again… False Evidence Appearing Real, or… illusion)
that my emotional denial creates. My fear surfaces as something other than what it
actually is. Whether it’s blame, guilt, or indifference, my fear blocks what I’m
really feeling, and because the real feeling is blocked, my mind transmutes it into
something else. For example, if I’m feeling angry, but I was conditioned by my
caretakers to believe that I’m not allowed to be angry, then I might transmute anger
into a more acceptable emotion such as blame or sadness. Blocked, transmuted
feelings will never make you feel better because, as you learned in Lesson #2,…
Nothing changes until it becomes what it is.
On my journey home to my Self, I discovered that I was rarely upset for the
reasons my ego mind thought. My mind was constantly trying to justify my
thoughts in an attempt to make me right. My mind made people, who used to
trigger me emotionally, into enemies so that my anger was justified and my attacks
warranted.
In the past I was a slave to my mind, and therefore I unconsciously misused my

relationships by rationalizing my behaviors to make myself right and others wrong!
As a child, my mind learned these defensive maneuvers in order to survive. My
challenge was that my old, defensive, child-like thought system was spiritually
toxic, and it was preventing me from creating mature, spiritually based
relationships. By defending myself, I alienated the people I loved and those who
loved me. I learned, through failed relationships, that this behavior of justifying
and rationalizing (rational lies) my actions just didn’t serve me well. The Language
of Feelings taught me that if I no longer wanted to FEEL emotionally upset, I
would have to find another way of processing my life.
In order to change, I first had to be willing to lower my defenses and allow my Self
to be emotionally vulnerable. By doing meditative practices, I realized that the
walls I had erected to protect myself also kept the love and intimacy out. Living a
spiritually awakened life takes a lot of emotional courage because you must learn
to trust your inner Self enough to lower your defenses.

THE FEELINGS CHART
I’m extremely grateful that I discovered John Gray’s Feelings Chart. As soon as I
saw it, I knew that John had saved me years of trial and error by developing a tool
that would help me understand the Language of Feelings. Thank you God. Thank
you John.
A HU NOTE: “Feelings aren’t right or wrong – they just are! Feelings are intuitive communications
from your Self. They are the Language of Feelings!”
Your HEALING FEELINGS are intuitive messages that are sent to you by your
Spirit. Your uncomfortable feelings aren’t bad or wrong; they are just emotional
warnings that you are out of harmony with your Self! When you resist, repress or
deny your healing feelings, you disconnect yourself from your inner Self.
A JI NOTE1: In deciphering the Language of Feelings Chart, I find that the easiest way to begin is
by looking at the “Emotional Block” column, which is on the far right. I start here because I am
usually blocking my healing feeling. As an example, I will take the first emotional block of
“Blame.” If I find myself blaming someone for my problems, and I look all the way over to the left
on the chart under “Healing Feeling,” I see that what I am really feeling is Anger. But why am I
angry? For some insight into this question I look at the next column labeled “Holistic Function,”
and I see that the reason that my intuitive heart is sending me an anger message is to tell me that
my boundaries have been violated. To double check this translation, I can then look to column #3,
“General Feeling,” to see if I have been feeling betrayed in any way. Remember that the Language
of Feelings is not an “exact science.” You may be feeling more than one healing feeling or be
experiencing more than one emotional block. The purpose of the Chart is to help you to decipher
the language….not unlike a foreign language dictionary – it can help you to a degree –
but you have to put the words together to form a meaning.
The more you feel your HEALING FEELINGS (left column), the better you’ll feel
and the faster you’ll heal! The longer you BLOCK your HEALING FEELINGS
with UNHEALTHY EMOTIONS (right column), the worse you’ll feel and the
longer it will take you to heal. Feelings are listed below as nouns; change them to
adjectives if you prefer: angry, sad, scared, sorry, frustrated, disappointed,
worried…ashamed, etc
_____________________
1
Ji~ is Jane Christ’s spiritual name.

THE FEELINGS CHART
FOR EMOTIONAL DISTINCTION
HEALING FEELING HOLISTIC BENEFITS GENERAL FEELING EMOTIONAL BLOCK
1. Anger Boundary Defense Betrayal Blame

2. Sadness Endings Abandonment Depression
3. Fear Warning Uncertainty Anxiety
4. Sorrow Grief Powerlessness Indifference
5. Frustration Persistence Dissatisfaction Judgment
6. Disappointment Detachment Discouragement Indecision
7. Worry Preparation Helplessness Procrastination
8. Embarrassment Self-Acceptance Inadequacy Perfectionism
9. Envy Motivation to Change Deprivation Resentment/Jealousy
10. Hurt Self-Awareness Exclusion Self-Pity
11. Fear Beginnings Hopelessness Confusion
12. Shame Remorse Unworthiness Guilt
THE HEALING FEELINGS ARE… NORMAL, NATURAL AND NECESSARY
ADAPTED FROM A CHART ORIGINALLY CREATED BY JOHN GRAY
HOW TO READ THE FEELINGS CHART

The feeling or energy of ANGER is the energy you use to protect you
and your boundaries so that you will feel safe in the world. If you block
your feelings of anger you will usually blame others or yourself and in
so doing affirm your lack of power.
The feeling of SADNESS is used to create closure when something

ends; but if you block yourself from feeling sad you can easily slip into
a depression.
FEAR is a warning energy. It stimulates your adrenals to fight or take

flight. If you block or resist your natural feelings of fear you will feel
overwhelmed and anxious.
The energy of SORROW is designed to help you grieve your losses.

When you don't give yourself permission to grieve you will become so
emotionally hard that you become indifferent to people you love.
FRUSTRATION is the energy that helps you to persist when things

take much longer than you expected. When you block your normal
feelings of frustration you'll usually become judgmental of others and
yourself.
DISAPPOINTMENT is the energy that will help you to detach and move
on with your life when things end. When you refuse to feel your natural

and necessary feelings of disappointment you will act indecisive and
feel discouraged.
WORRY helps you to take action and prepare for the project at hand.
When you block yourself from feeling worried because you are not
well prepared, you will procrastinate about what to do and you will not
take the actions that are necessary for you to succeed.
EMBARRASSMENT allows you to accept yourself as you are. If you

block your feelings of embarrassment you will feel as though you
always need to be "perfect" which is an unachievable objective.
ENVY is a motivational feeling that helps you to change for the better.
If you block yourself from feeling envious, you become jealous of what
other people have.
HURT helps you to become aware of the source of your pain so that
you can heal it. When you don't allow yourself to feel hurt, you slip
into a cycle of self-pity and go around feeling sorry for yourself.
FEAR is also a normal and natural uncomfortable feeling associated

with starting something new. When you resist your scared feelings
you'll become confused, which will immobilize you and stop you from
learning from your new experience.
SHAME is the energy you feel when you do something that doesn't
serve you or others well. If you have the emotional courage to feel the
shame associated with your actions, you will feel remorseful, which
will help you to not do it again. But when you don't feel the shame
associated with your less- than-perfect actions, you will feel guilty
about what you did, which solves nothing. Guilt is self-judgment,
where shame helps you to own why your less-than-perfect actions
don't work, which helps you not to do it again…
If you block your healing feelings, you are blocking all the benefits from coming to
you, which makes your life much more difficult than it needs to be because, by
blocking your healing feelings, you are disconnecting yourself from your Higher
powers.
YOU CAN’T HEAL WHAT YOU ARE UNWILLING TO FEEL!
When I first mustered up the courage to feel my healing feelings, it took me

anywhere from twenty-four to seventy-two hours to FEEL and not THINK about
what my Self was trying to communicate to me. Many of my students are afraid to
feel their healing feelings because they don’t want to drag up the past. They tell me
that it’s just too painful to deal with. I then remind them that their pain is not
coming from their healing feelings. What is causing their pain is their
RESISTANCE to feeling their healing feelings.
A HU NOTE: Your healing objective is to feel and release what really happened to you
so that you won’t have to unconsciously keep reliving it over and over again.
Better to feel your blocked pain for ten minutes to heal it, then it is to keep reliving it
over and over again for the next ten to twenty years or more!
FEEL FIRST…THINK SECOND
There are two ways that you can process your life: through your intuitive heart
(feelings) or through your intellect (ego mind). I believe that processing your life
by FIRST using your intuitive heart is extremely important because it allows you
to draw upon your connection with infinite wisdom. After you feel emotionally
centered and you can feel what it is you want to do (or not do), then you can
process it through your intellectual mind.
You can visualize the two ways of processing your life using this illustration. Your
ego mind is like a small desktop computer. It’s a defensive, fear-based system
designed to protect you by recording any stimuli that has caused you pain in your
past. Its primary function is survival. It’s a system that uses the language of
WORDS as its energy source.
“All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time, and denial of the present.
Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry, and all forms of fear are caused by
too much future, and not enough presence.
Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness
are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.”
ECKHART TOLLE

YOU CAN PROCESS YOUR LIFE…
THROUGH YOUR FEELINGS OR YOUR THOUGHTS!
Your Spirit is also like a computer, but it’s as big as a 100-story building. It’s
a love-based system, designed for growth, empowerment, creation, mastery,
and unity. It’s a system that uses the language of FEELINGS as its energy
source.
A HU NOTE: Are you a think-aholic? Most of our society is made up of people
who use thinking as their primary way of processing their life. Personally,
I've spent most of my life as a think-aholic. Most people can't distinguish
the difference between their thinking mind and their Spirit,
and therefore their ego becomes their god.
By first processing your life through the Language of Feelings, you are
allowing your heart to feel, from a place of infinite wisdom, love, and
compassion, what your Spirit is trying to communicate to you. But, when
you process your life through your ego mind first, you are using a fear-based
system, which was designed to keep you safe at all costs—meaning, it’s a

defensive system that will try to defend and protect you using ego defenses
such as denial, repression, minimizing, or dissociation. Your ego will supply
you with any evidence that you need to keep you safe from anything or
anyone that it perceives might cause you harm.
“The more I resist my feelings, the more powerful the message becomes.
Pain is the motivator; change is what happens when the pain of holding on
becomes greater than the fear of letting go!”
TERRY MOON
Another way to visualize this two-step process is by creating a visualization

of a bicycle built for two. Your intuitive heart (Spirit) needs to ride up front
and steer so that it can make the decisions of what to do next and with whom
to do it. Your ego mind needs to sit in the back seat so that it can follow the
commands that are being sent to it from your intuitive heart. Remember that
you want to USE your mind, not be USED by it.
HEALING FEELING TRUISMS
To help you determine your healing feeling objectives, one of the SMA
questions asks you to rate each of the following from one to ten, with ten
being the truisms that most highly emotionally resonate with your personal
history. After rating them all from 1-10, select your top ten, rewrite them in
first party and entitle them … My Healing Feeling Objectives.
⇒ Most people are think-aholics because they can't distinguish the difference between
their thinking mind and their Spirit; therefore their ego becomes their god.
⇒ What is painful is resisting, blocking and denying your true healing feelings, not
feeling them.
⇒ When you feel your painful feelings, you are releasing your “emotional constipation”
associated with them, which makes you feel great.
⇒ As children, many people had to substitute ego defenses for the absent love of their
emotionally distant caretaker. They used these ego defenses to feel loved, protected,
appreciated, and safe. It was a kind of “short-term high” that numbed the painful feelings
that were created by emotional violations of distance.
⇒ It’s better to feel your blocked feelings for ten minutes in order to heal them, than to
keep blocking them, which causes you to relive them over and over again for the next ten
to twenty years.
⇒ Your uncomfortable feelings aren’t bad or wrong; they are just emotional warnings
that you are out of harmony with yourself! When you resist, repress, or deny your feelings,
you disconnect yourself from your inner Self.
⇒ Feelings never lie, but your ego does. It tells you rational-lies.
⇒ Let your feelings be what they are… intuitive messages from your Self. If you are
feeling sad, feel sad; don’t think about why you are feeling sad; just feel sad.

⇒ The challenge most people have with processing their feelings is that they are trying
to process them through their “thinking mind.” You can’t THINK your FEELINGS. You
either feel them or you repress them with THOUGHTS.
⇒ Your painful emotions are "SIGNPOSTS" that show you what you still need to heal.
⇒ Addictions are another way to block your feelings. You unconsciously block your
feelings with food, sex, and drugs. You confuse these temporary “highs” with authentic
inner love. Remember that an addiction is any compulsive act that, no matter how much
you do it, it will never satisfy your real needs… love and wholeness.
⇒ By first processing your life through your feelings, you are allowing your heart to
feel what your Spirit is trying to communicate to you from a place of infinite wisdom, love,
and compassion.
⇒ When you process your life through your Ego-Mind first, you are using a fear-based
system, which was designed to keep you safe at all costs. Therefore it will give you any
evidence that you need to believe and feel that you are right.
⇒ Your painful feelings are "friends" that come bearing gifts that can set you FREE.
⇒ If you have the wisdom to feel your feelings (vs. thinking them), they will grant you
the gift of inner Self-awareness; it’s this truth that sets you free.
⇒ Your reliance on "thinking" for "relief" of your painful feelings is your ego's attempt
to make you feel better without doing the necessary work.
⇒ Your spiritual Self-mastery will only happen after you… Feel your Feelings.
⇒ Feeling your feelings with the intent to learn from them, and with the knowledge that
your feelings are gifts from God, is communing directly with God in a very personal way.
⇒ HONOR your FEELINGS…FACE them, EMBRACE them and then RELEASE them.
⇒ When your Self sends you an intuitive message, such as frustration, it’s trying to
communicate to you that something you are doing (or not doing) or something that
someone else is doing (or not doing), is out of harmony with your spiritual purpose for
living (your Dharma).
⇒ Instead of analyzing your feelings, which just disconnects you from your feelings
even more, your job is to identify what feeling you are repressing, denying, or minimizing.
⇒ When you use ego defenses to numb (repress, deny, minimize, etc.) your feelings
you lose energy, because you are using your energy to resist what you are really feeling.
⇒ FEELINGS AREN’T RIGHT, WRONG, GOOD, OR BAD… THEY JUST ARE!
⇒ Your reliance on "thinking" to relieve your painful feelings is an illusional shortcut
that leads to emotional dysfunction.
⇒ If you have repressed any anger towards someone in your life, then before you can
forgive him or her you’ll need to express your repressed anger, because what you don’t
express, you’ll emotionally repress and anything that you repress, you get to keep.
⇒ The secret key to unconditionally loving yourself is to learn how to process your life
through your feelings first and your intellectual or” think-think” mind second.
⇒ Learning to experience your feelings is one of the most difficult tasks that you will
ever have to undertake. Remember that learning to feel your feelings is a process, so be
patient with yourself.
⇒ Forgiveness is a self-protection mechanism that helps you to feel your feelings.

⇒ When you forgive someone it helps you to release your blocked feelings.
Forgiveness will melt away your past fears and hurt feelings as naturally as sunlight melts
away snow after a late spring storm.
⇒ In order to change, you must be willing to lower your ego defenses and allow
yourself to feel emotionally vulnerable. Your healing objective is to see, feel and release
what really happened to you so that you won’t have to unconsciously keep reliving it over
and over again.
⇒ Pain is the motivator; change is what happens when the pain of holding on to your
uncomfortable feelings becomes greater than your fear of letting them go.
⇒ You are using up enormous amounts of life force energy holding on to your blocked
feelings. Processing your life through your feelings is ninety percent more energy efficient
than thinking.
⇒ To master the Language of Feelings, you’ll need to unconditionally accept that in a
perfectly evolving Universe, what happened to you was “perfect” for the spiritual evolution
of your immortal soul, even if at this time you don’ t have the foresight or insight to
understand why.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE LESSON?
I once sent a student outside on a cold winter day to experience a healing

process. She only had on a light tee shirt and I told her to use her mind to
resist the cold. Her way of resisting the cold was saying things such as, “I
hate being out here.” “I don’t want to do this.” “Why are you making me do
this?” “I don’t understand what this has to do with my healing feelings.”
“I’m mad at you for even asking me to do this.” “I hope I don’t get sick!”
and so on. Then I told her to stop resisting being cold and to … just be cold.
She started to rub her arms and hands, jog in place and just allowed herself
to … feel the cold! Almost immediately after she allowed herself to just feel
cold she said, “Since I don’t have to resist being cold anymore, I’m going
inside to put my coat on.”
“The journey into the heart is our future – learning to experience emotions is one of the most
difficult tasks that we undertake – becoming emotionally aware is a process – you must become
aware of what you are feeling to create authentic power!”
GARY ZUKAV & LINDA FRANCIS
As soon as she stopped RESISTING feeling cold, she took action to feel
better. Nothing changes until it becomes what it actually is! And so it will be
with you. As soon as you allow yourself to FEEL your healthy feelings,
you’ll take action and feel better quickly.
What you are experiencing when you don’t allow yourself to feel your
natural healing feelings is resistance. This resistance creates uncomfortable
sensations caused by your BLOCKING what you are actually feeling. The
uncomfortable sensations that emotional blocks create are actually your
resisting what your spirit wants you to feel in order to help you to
emotionally realign yourself.
A HU NOTE: Usually when someone evolves to the point that they can enjoy
reading a spiritual textbook like this one, they have taken the thinking train of life
as far as it was designed to go. Now if they choose to transcend their thinking mind (ego),
they must be willing to switch trains and board the feeling train, because feeling
is the language of your intuitive heart, which is the language of your spirit!
While growing up, many of us heard our parents make statements to us such
as, “How dare you get angry at me, I’m your mother!” “I’ll give you
something to be sad about.” “There’s nothing to be afraid of!” “Now, now
don’t cry!” “You think you’re sorry now… wait until I get a hold of you!”
“What does a child of your age have to worry about?” So, is it any wonder
that you BLOCK your HEALING FEELINGS?
THE LONGER YOU BLOCK YOUR FEELINGS

THE WORSE YOU’LL FEEL
If you notice that you’re experiencing an emotional block (right column)

such as blame, refer to the corresponding healing feeling (left column),
which is anger. Then ask your Self, “What am I angry about?” Or “Am I
angry with another or myself?” Notice what general feeling you are feeling.
Test to see if you are feeling the general feeling that applies. If not, trust
your inner Self to find the correct healing feeling that feels right.
Don’t be surprised if you feel several feelings at once. Just ask your Self,
“Which one is my most powerful feeling?” After awhile you’ll know what
your primary feeling is because it will FEEL right to you. Then simply allow
your Self to feel sad if you feel sad or feel angry if you feel angry. Don’t
allow your mind to fret over why you’re feeling what you are feeling (which
is thinking vs. feeling), just allow yourself to feel what you are feeling until
you get an intuitive “Aha!”

MOOD SCALE
SERENE/JOYFUL/BE HERE NOW
ENTHUSIASTIC
OPTIMISTIC
CONTENT
BORED
ANGRY (Yang energy)
PESSIMISTIC
FRUSTRATED
IMPATIENT
DISAPPOINTED
BLAME- (shame, victim, game)
WORRIED
SCARED
HATRED/RAGE
REVENGE
INSECURE/GUILTY
IMMOBILIZED/DEPRESSED/POWERLESS
Before long, you’ll know why you are feeling the way you are feeling. Your
intuitive Self will communicate to you the purpose for the feeling
communication. If you allow your mind to THINK about what you are
FEELING, you’ll stop your Self from communicating to you what you need
to know. Just allow your Self to feel it. After your intuitive Self has
communicated to you why you are feeling the way you are feeling, you can
then allow your thinking mind to process it using the wisdom that you’ve
acquired through your life experiences. You can learn how to process your
life through the Language of Feelings, like so many others have, if you are
willing to commit, study, practice, and emotionalize these self-mastery
lessons.
A HU NOTE: Again, addictions are another way that we can block our Healing Feelings.
We unconsciously attempt to block our feelings with food, sex, and drugs. We confuse
these temporary “highs” with authentic inner love. Remember that an addiction is any
compulsive act that, no matter how much you do it, will never satisfy your real need.
To get the most out of the FEELINGS CHART you will need to use it as a
general reference guide. For example, if you notice that you are blaming
someone, it won’t always mean that you are repressing anger. It could also
mean that you are afraid or ashamed. So use the chart as a feeling reference
guide, but trust your intuitive Self to tell you what healing feeling you are
really feeling.

YOU PROCESS FEELINGS… THE SAME WAY YOU PROCESS
FOOD
Processing healthy feelings can be as natural for you as processing healthy

food. A healthy body processes food by ingesting, digesting, processing, and
eliminating. You take food into your mouth (ingest it). Then your body
breaks it down so you can digest it. Then your blood circulates your digested
food to your cells so that it can be processed into energy. Lastly, the food
that can’t be processed is eliminated. You process feelings in the same way.
Something happens to you, such as the death of a loved one, which forces
you to ingest feelings such as sadness. Next, you’ll digest it by breaking it
down to feel how your loss will affect you. Next, you’ll spend a few months
grieving your emotional loss by processing this change into your life. Lastly,
when you are done grieving, you’ll eliminate the sadness so that you can
move forward with your life.
If you were raised by parents who knew how to speak the Language of
Feelings, you would process your feelings as naturally and unconsciously as
you do your food. And that’s my hope for you… that you’ll learn how to
speak the Language of Feelings so well that you won’t have to “think” about
it because you’ll become so proficient at feeling your intuitive feelings that
you’ll do it automatically.
If you decide to commit to learning how to speak the Language of Feelings,

remember that you are learning a whole new language. Learning the
Language of Feelings is no different than learning how to speak any other
language. Don’t underestimate the effort that it takes to master it because it
takes commitment, effort, concentration, and practice. I’m sharing this with
you because the ego mind will try to prevent you from learning the
Language of Feelings. It usually does this by having you underestimate the
effort it actually takes for you to master how to speak and understand the
Language of Spirit.
A HU NOTE: The SEVEN TOOLS that will help you to master the Language of Feelings are:
1. The FEELINGS CHART… your dictionary 2. The DISTURBING FEELINGS POEM… your
action plan 3. FIRST PARTY COMMUNICATION… your feeling first communication tool.
4. The SPIRITUAL DISTINCTION MEDITATION… your exercise program to teach you how
to feel the difference between your mind and your Spirit. 5. SELF-PARENTING…your self-
nurturing program that will fulfill your emotional dependency needs. 6. VALIDATION
PROCESS… to validate what you are feeling 7. LESSON FOUR… when you take the time to
study, practice, and emotionalize this lesson until it becomes part of your consciousness,
then processing your life through your feelings will be as automatic as dialing a phone.

Teach your family and friends how to use the Feelings Chart. Teach them
because… “what you give away you get to keep.” Post the FEELINGS
CHART all over your house and refer to it every time you notice that a
feeling is beginning to surface.
DISTURBING FEELINGS
“When I regard a so-called disturbing feeling as a mistake, my spiritual practice becomes a Path of
needing to fix myself. Thus, my spiritual practice becomes the long path!
If I indulge in my so-called disturbing feelings, “thinking” it’s something concrete
when it’s only relatively real, then my disturbing feeling becomes…
the cause that binds me to my Karma.
If I look directly into my so-called disturbing feeling, and I don’t deliberately reject it, or regard it as a
fault, or indulge in it concretely, or regard it as a virtue,
if I just feel it and allow it to be what it is, an intuitive message from my Spirit…
then all my so-called disturbing feelings that arise are WISDOM the moment I relax
enough to feel them with the awareness that what I’m feeling is perfect
for the evolution of my immortal soul!”
AUTHOR UNKNOWN
The Disciplinas and the Spiritual Distinction Meditation will help you to
master your Ego-Mind and open your heart chakra. They will help you to
detach from the extrinsic aspects of daily life. The practice of meditation is
especially important because it trains you to quiet your mind so that you can
hear what your intuitive heart is trying telling you. There are numerous
methods of meditation to choose from. Whichever method you choose, you
will need to practice it daily. Make it a daily habit to go into a meditative
silence, to emotionally align your Self, and to train your Ego-Mind to obey
your Spirit.
FORGIVENESS WILL HELP YOU TO FEEL AGAIN
Forgiveness means to unconditionally accept that what happened really

happened. What you “think” about what happened to you is just your Ego-
Mind’s opinion. This opinion glues your old painful feelings to you, causing
you to re-live them over and over again. So you ask yourself the question…
“Why is this happening to me… again?” You want to learn from the past,
but once you have surfaced and healed past hurts, you don’t want to
unconsciously keep reopening them.
You use up enormous amounts of life force energy holding on to your

blocked or repressed feelings. This weakens you and makes you more
susceptible to illness and depression. You need to let go of your past hurt
feelings and live in the present moment. It is important to note that this does

not mean that you are condoning what happened. Instead, it means that you
refuse to accept it any longer as a toxic influence in your life.
A HU NOTE: Forgiveness occurs when you are ready to release your Self from painful
feelings that you are attached to from your past. Forgiveness releases you from the blame,
shame, victim game. Forgiveness is a self-protection mechanism.
If you have repressed any anger (a healing feeling) towards someone in your
life, then before you can forgive him or her, you’ll need to express your
repressed anger because what you don’t express, you’ll emotionally repress
and anything that you repress, you get to keep. Anger is a healing feeling
and you can learn how to holistically use it to defend your boundaries. It’s
the flight or fight feeling. If you or someone you love were being attacked,
your body would naturally produce anger for the purpose of protection.
Chemically speaking, we call this an adrenalin rush. The Holistic Function
of “anger” is to produce the life force energy that you need to protect your
boundaries.
SUFFERING DOES NOT DIMINISH WHEN YOU MAKE IT UNCONSCIOUS

When your pain is deep, you will likely have a strong urge to escape
from it rather than surrender to it. What could be more normal?
But suffering does not diminish in intensity when you make it unconscious
with food, sex, drugs or work.
When you deny your emotional pain, everything you do or think, as well as your relationships,
becomes contaminated with it. You broadcast it, so to speak, by the energy you emanate.
Others will pick it up subliminally because you attract and manifest whatever corresponds to your
inner state; therefore, you create even more pain.
When there is no way out of your suffering, there is still always a way through it.
Do not turn away from your pain. Face it. Feel it fully. Feel it – don't think about it! Express it if
necessary, but don't create a script in your mind around it. Give all your attention to what you are
feeling, not to the person, event or situation that seems to have caused it.
Don't let your mind use your pain as an excuse to create a victim identity. Feeling sorry for yourself
and telling others your story will keep you stuck in suffering even longer.
Since it is impossible to get away from what you are feeling,
the only possibility of change is to move into it; otherwise, nothing will shift.
Give your complete attention to what you feel and refrain from mentally labeling it. As you go into
your feelings, be intensely alert. At first, your feelings may seem like a dark and terrifying
place…but when the urge to turn away from them comes, observe that urge, but don't act on it.
Keep putting your attention on your pain. As you do so you will bring the light of truth into your
darkness. This is the flame of your Self consciousness burning off the cause of your pain,
which usually is rooted in some sort of denial of “what is.”
ECKHART TOLLE
When you project negative, hateful, repressed feelings... you lose energy. If
you don’t learn how to “forgive your trespassers,” you’ll find that your life

force energy will just keep draining away. Until you forgive “them,” you’ll
find it almost impossible to heal.
“The purpose of forgiveness is to release you from the past.”
CAROLINE MYSS
Until you unconditionally accept your past, it will inhibit you from living
fully present in the now. When you are fully present and focused in the
now… the only thing that exists is love. That’s why awakened masters are
awakened masters… they live fully present in the now. All of their life force
energy is manifesting in the now – unlike many of us whose life force
energy is weakened because our attention is focused in the past or future.
A HU NOTE: Forgiving someone helps you to release your blocked feelings.

Forgiveness will melt away your past fears and hurt feelings as naturally as
sunlight melts away snow after a late spring storm.
To master the Language of Feelings you’ll need to unconditionally accept

that, in a perfectly evolving Universe, what happened to you was “perfect”
for the spiritual evolution of your immortal soul even if at this time you
don’t have the foresight or insight to understand why.
BOUNDARIES AND FEELINGS
Boundaries are an important element of the Language of Feelings. If you

never learned how to maturely protect your boundaries, you'll block your
feelings with ego defenses. A defensive personality will challenge even the
most committed relationship. You can learn to develop healthy boundaries
by learning how to communicate your feelings. A boundary is a limit that
promotes healthy feelings. Healthy boundaries come from your conscious
awareness of the distinction between you and the people with whom you
share your life. There are two types of boundaries: Physical Boundaries and
Emotional Boundaries.
A HU NOTE: Boundaries protect you and make you feel safe. When you get a scratch, it
breaches the physical barrier of your skin, and that breach makes you vulnerable to
infection. When someone trespasses your emotional, physical, or sexual boundaries, you
also become vulnerable to harm. When someone trespasses your boundaries, it’s called a
Boundary Violation. There are two types of boundary violations:
Violations of intrusion and violations of emotional distance.
Growing up with verbally abusive caretakers creates a form of toxic shame

that causes a child to use emotional blocks to harden his or her feelings.
These childhood violations manifest as feelings of inferiority. Nothing that
she says, does, or feels is okay because her feelings aren’t valid, her ideas
are crazy, and her desires are stupid. Verbal abuse makes you feel like you
are flawed and defective. Parents who call their children “stupid,” “crazy,”
and so on wound them with every word until the child believes, “No
matter what I do, I’ll never measure up.” Dr Michael Ryce defines sarcasm
as, “Society’s form of acceptable verbal abuse.”
Parents who verbally abuse their children usually do so because it’s what
they learned from their parents. They act out on their children in the same
way that their parents acted out on them. It’s a barbaric tradition where the
sins of the father are passed onto the son – a tradition where control, rigidity,
and perfectionism are more important than self-esteem, self-awareness, and
unconditional love. The only way to break this cycle is to feel your Healing
Feelings and eliminate the Emotional Blocks that are keeping you from
hearing your intuitive messages of love.
THE INTIMACY PARADOX
EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE AND BOUNDARIES DEFENDED
Paradox is a phenomenon that happens when two concepts appear to be
contradictory, but aren’t. What you’ll come to realize is that
life consists of numerous paradoxes that a Self-mastered person learns to balance.
Violations of Emotional Distance occur when intimacy is less than what is

appropriate for the relationship. Violations of Emotional Distance are
difficult to validate because the wounds were caused by… “what wasn’t
done to you.” Emotional distance harms children because they need
emotional and physical closeness from their caretakers. If as a child you
were excessively removed or emotionally cut off from your caretakers, it
hurt you emotionally. These emotional wounds caused you to create
emotional blocks, which make feeling your healing feelings that much more
challenging.
If, as a child, your parents usually talked to you only to give you orders or to
reprimand you, know that what you experienced is a violation of emotional
distance. Children need hugs, affection, and emotional intimacy from their
parents in order to feel safe and secure! When children don’t receive enough
emotional nurturing, they learn to Block their feelings in order to feel safe.
Very few of us had all of our emotional dependency needs met. Therefore,
as adults we must learn how to fill our own emotional dependency needs. I
designed these Self-mastery lessons to do just that. These emotional
processes will teach you how to fill your emotional dependency needs that

your parents weren’t able to fill, but only if you are willing to commit, study,
practice, internalize and emotionalize these Self-mastery lessons.
My boundary Self-mastery Assignments (SMA) were developed from the

Boundaries Book by Anne Katherine. Anne was my boundary teacher and
her healing exercises are excellent. I recommend that you make her book
part of your professional library.
FEELINGS BURIED ALIVE NEVER DIE
At the end of Karol K. Truman’s book, Feelings Buried Alive Never Die, she
states, “After incorporating these elements into your daily life, it will
become evident to you that you do have the ability to communicate [the
Language of Feelings], to be congruent in what you feel, think, say, and do.”
When you learn how to speak the Language of Feelings, you’ll quickly start
to feel better, better than you’ve ever felt before! Processing your life
through your feelings is ninety percent more energy efficient than thinking,
so you’ll have much more energy to build a life that even the gods
themselves would envy.
“I want to know if you are willing to disappoint another
in order to be true to your authentic self.”
ORIAH MOUNTAIN DREAMER, INDIAN ELDER
When you use the Language of Feelings as the primary way to process your
life, you’ll start to manifest all your hopes and dreams and you’ll feel that…
“I am a Self-mastered Be-ing of light and love. I understand the Language of
my Intuitive Heart, the Language of Love, the Language of Spirit. I can feel
my inner Self and I know that I am ONE with all life everywhere and that
makes me feel wonderful!”

THE LANGUAGE OF FEELINGS SMA
INSTRUCTION: Answer these questions in first party, using “I” instead of “you.”
Answer the questions in such a way that it demonstrates your understanding of this
lesson, as well as your understanding of how you can use this knowledge to help you
achieve Self-mastery.
PART 1:
1. Why is the Language of Feelings the language of your intuitive Self?

2. Why is the Language of Feelings a challenge for most men?
3. Why do people try to process their feelings through their thinking mind?
4. Why is it essential to lower your defenses when you want to feel your feelings?
5. Create seven ways to use the FEELINGS CHART in your daily life to help you feel
better
faster.
6. Name three ways you can use the Mood Scale to help you to better understand your
feelings.
7. Rate the Healing Feeling Truisms from one to ten, with ten being the truisms that
most highly
emotionally resonate with your personal history. After rating them all from one to ten,
select your top ten, rewrite them in first party and entitle them… My Healing Feeling
Objectives.
8. Surface seven answers to this sentence completion: “What I experienced and learned
by doing this SMA is…”
PART 2:
1. Take each one of the Twelve Emotional Blocks from the feelings chart and give real
world examples of how you block your healing feelings instead of feeling what you
are actually feeling. Also, explain how you can use the corresponding healing feeling
instead of the emotional block. Use examples from your daily life (work, spouse,
parents, etc.).
2. Practice validating your feelings by writing why it’s N.ormal, N.atural and
N.eccessary (three N’s) for you to feel your Twelve Healing Feelings using real life
examples.
3. Describe why each of the Twelve Holistic Functions (column two on the Feelings
Chart) are the benefits that you will receive for feeling the Twelve Healing Feelings.
4. How can you form the habit of using the Feelings Chart until you master using it?
5. The Disturbing Feelings Poem…is your action plan. Why is the Disturbing Feelings
Poem your action plan for mastering the Language of Feelings?
6. How can you form the habit of using the Disturbing Feelings Poem until you master
using it?
7. Why is the Spiritual Distinction Meditation… your Exercise Program to teach you
how to feel the difference between your mind and your Spirit?
8. How does the Spiritual Distinction Meditation train you to feel the difference between
your mind and your spirit?

9. When you take the time to study, practice, internalize and emotionalize the Language
of Feelings, it will become part of your consciousness. What do you need to do to
make the Language of Feelings part of your consciousness?
10. How does forgiveness release you from the past?
11. Why are boundaries such an important element of the Language of Feelings?
12. Why is intellectual knowledge easier to acquire than emotional knowledge?
13. Surface seven answers to this sentence completion: “What I experienced and learned
by doing this SMA is…”
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SELF-MASTERY A JOURNEY HOME TO YOUR…SELF!

THE LANGUAGE OF FEELINGS

In general, our society rewards us for suppressing our feelings. As a result, we

FEELINGS ARE NEITHER RIGHT NOR WRONG –

The FEELINGS CHART for EMOTIONAL DISTINCTION is an excellent tool to

For additional Information call Holistic Learning Centers, Inc. 2

When I’m afraid to feel my feelings (consciously or unconsciously), I’m

In the past I was a slave to my mind, and therefore I unconsciously misused my

For additional Information call Holistic Learning Centers, Inc. 3

For additional Information call Holistic Learning Centers, Inc. 4

1. Anger Boundary Defense Betrayal Blame

HOW TO READ THE FEELINGS CHART

The feeling of SADNESS is used to create closure when something

FEAR is a warning energy. It stimulates your adrenals to fight or take

The energy of SORROW is designed to help you grieve your losses.

FRUSTRATION is the energy that helps you to persist when things

For additional Information call Holistic Learning Centers, Inc. 5

EMBARRASSMENT allows you to accept yourself as you are. If you

FEAR is also a normal and natural uncomfortable feeling associated

YOU CAN’T HEAL WHAT YOU ARE UNWILLING TO FEEL!

When I first mustered up the courage to feel my healing feelings, it took me

FEEL FIRST…THINK SECOND

For additional Information call Holistic Learning Centers, Inc. 7

For additional Information call Holistic Learning Centers, Inc. 8

Another way to visualize this two-step process is by creating a visualization

HEALING FEELING TRUISMS

For additional Information call Holistic Learning Centers, Inc. 9

For additional Information call Holistic Learning Centers, Inc. 10

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE LESSON?

I once sent a student outside on a cold winter day to experience a healing

THE LONGER YOU BLOCK YOUR FEELINGS

If you notice that you’re experiencing an emotional block (right column)

For additional Information call Holistic Learning Centers, Inc. 12

For additional Information call Holistic Learning Centers, Inc. 13

Processing healthy feelings can be as natural for you as processing healthy

If you decide to commit to learning how to speak the Language of Feelings,

For additional Information call Holistic Learning Centers, Inc. 14

Forgiveness means to unconditionally accept that what happened really

You use up enormous amounts of life force energy holding on to your

For additional Information call Holistic Learning Centers, Inc. 15

SUFFERING DOES NOT DIMINISH WHEN YOU MAKE IT UNCONSCIOUS

For additional Information call Holistic Learning Centers, Inc. 16

A HU NOTE: Forgiving someone helps you to release your blocked feelings.

To master the Language of Feelings you’ll need to unconditionally accept

BOUNDARIES AND FEELINGS

Boundaries are an important element of the Language of Feelings. If you

Growing up with verbally abusive caretakers creates a form of toxic shame

Violations of Emotional Distance occur when intimacy is less than what is

For additional Information call Holistic Learning Centers, Inc. 18

My boundary Self-mastery Assignments (SMA) were developed from the

FEELINGS BURIED ALIVE NEVER DIE

For additional Information call Holistic Learning Centers, Inc. 19

1. Why is the Language of Feelings the language of your intuitive Self?

For additional Information call Holistic Learning Centers, Inc. 20

An overview of Holistic Learning Centers (HLC)

HLC is an AADP accredited, spiritually-based Life Coaching and self-care school

Since 1993 HLC’s SAVE…the Humans!™ Free e-Book educational campaign

The four educational study methods are:

(1)Home Study (http://www.holisticlearningcenter.com/tuition.html/#homestudy )

(3)Tele-classes (Personalized, one on one Life Coaching and group tele-

For additional Information call Holistic Learning Centers, Inc. 21

Within HLC’s 250 page website you can:

 Enjoy reading eBooks Summaries

For additional Information call Holistic Learning Centers, Inc. 22

Receive All 16 Self-Mastery Lessons

Plus… for a limited time receive a

Enjoy reading eBooks Summaries