Table of Contents

Open Your Ears to English: How it Is Really Spoken ................................................................. 3

Make Listening a Fun Daily Habit .............................................................................................................. 3
Take advantage of convenient moments (transit, exercise, etc) ................................................................. 3
Listen to Native English Speaking Podcasts & Online Radio ........................................................................ 4
ESL Podcasts/Podcasts for English Learners ...................................................................................................... 4
Learn the Lyrics to Your Favorite Songs in English .......................................................................................... 4
Watch Lots of TV and Movies (with and without English subtitles) ......................................................... 5
Try to Understand the General Idea: Accept That You Won’t Understand Everything .......... 5
Pay Attention: Be an Engaged Listener in Your Native Tongue .................................................................. 5
Open Your Mind and Ears to Slang and Colloquial English ........................................................................... 6
Learn and Pay Attention to Body Language ......................................................................................................... 6
Survival Phrases/Confirm Your Understanding ................................................................................................ 6
Learn Discourse Markers ............................................................................................................................................. 7

Learn (And Remember) 1000s of New Words ............................................................................ 7

Keep a Word Journal ...................................................................................................................................... 8
Watch TV Shows .............................................................................................................................................. 9
Read ..................................................................................................................................................................... 9
Talk to People ................................................................................................................................................. 10
Smart Vocabulary Learning: Spaced Repetitions Systems (SRS) .................................................. 10
The Importance of Learning English Expressions ............................................................................. 11
What is an Idiom? .......................................................................................................................................................... 11
What is a Phrasal Verb? .............................................................................................................................................. 11
What is Slang? ................................................................................................................................................................. 12
INPUT vs. OUTPUT ........................................................................................................................................ 12
The Myth of Needing to Learn English With Natives ..................................................................................... 13
The Truth About Language ........................................................................................................................................ 13
MYTH 1: Natives speak ‘real’ English .................................................................................................................... 14
MYTH 2: Natives can correct you better than non-natives ......................................................................... 14
MYTH 3: Natives correct your mistakes and help you learn ...................................................................... 15

Understand Fast-Speaking Natives & Communicate Beautifully ...................................... 17

There is a Better Way .................................................................................................................................. 17
The Powerful Connection Between Fluency and Pronunciation .................................................. 17
The Three Pillars of Great Pronunciation ............................................................................................. 18
1. Stress, Rhythm, and Intonation (Musicality) ................................................................................................ 18
2. Sound Morphing (plus Shrinking & Linking) ................................................................................................ 18
3. Mimicry, Imitation, and Rap Music (Application & Practice) ................................................................ 19
Dynamic Techniques & Resources .......................................................................................................... 19
Learn Native Pronunciation with TV Shows ...................................................................................................... 19
Imitating native pronunciation with music ......................................................................................... 20
Understand All the Jokes ................................................................................................................. 20
You Aren’t Fluent in the Language Until You’re Fluent in the Culture ........................................ 20
Language isn’t enough ................................................................................................................................................. 20
Language is a tool .......................................................................................................................................................... 21
What’s the difference? ................................................................................................................................................. 21
Developing Cultural Fluency ..................................................................................................................... 22
An Everyday Example of Indelicate Cultural Communication ................................................................... 22
What You Are Communicating ................................................................................................................................. 23
Body Language ................................................................................................................................................................ 24
The Polite Way to Respond with Cultural Fluency ............................................................................ 24
Survival Phrases and Cultural Fluency ................................................................................................................. 25
The Right Attitude For Cultural Fluency ............................................................................................................. 28
The Psychological Element ........................................................................................................................................ 29

Communicate and Understand with Confidence! ................................................................... 29

Open Your Ears to English: How it Is Really Spoken
I know how you feel. You’ve studied English for a long time, you understand the rules, you can read,
write, and even speak. But when you watch TV, listen to podcasts, or find yourself in a group of
native speakers, YOU ARE TOTALLY LOST!

We speak too fast, we cut words, we use too much slang, and we break nearly all the grammar rules.
This is not what you learned in school, and your English class will do little to help you develop this
extremely important skill for fluency.

If this sounds like you, this dynamic E-Book will reveal the best and most effective tips,
strategies, and techniques to drastically improve your listening skills. If you follow at least a
few of them, these tips can dramatically improve your comprehension (and speaking) in a question
of just a few weeks.

First of all, it’s important to note that listening difficulties are very common. What’s not common,
however, is a proactive attitude, or good strategies to fix this. Fortunately, once you start
consistently implementing these tips, your listening skills will improve faster than you ever
imagined.

What a lot of frustrated learners don’t know, however, is that BECAUSE you are having this
problem, it means that fluency is close. Learning to listen and understand native speakers in a
relaxed, fun way and having the tools to increase your level of comprehension is the biggest
step you can take toward making English part of your life, and developing permanent lifelong
fluency.

Make Listening a Fun Daily Habit

“We are what we repeatedly do; excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” – Aristotle

Whatever you do in life, to be awesome at it, you need to do it every day. I’m sorry, but twice a week
is okay for amateurs. But most learners expect (and need) to be highly proficient.

For ESL learners who want and need permanent, life-long fluency, mediocrity is not an option.

The most effective, interesting, and convenient way to do this is to create a lifestyle that transforms
your contact with English into something convenient and enjoyable. Most of us live busy lives, and
we value our free time, so to do it every day, we need good strategies, and we need to make them
into habits.

Usually thirty days is enough to build a strong habit.

Take advantage of convenient moments (transit, exercise, etc)

Whether you drive a car, take the bus, or walk, the most convenient time for you to practice your
listening skills is usually in transit.

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Everybody I talk to about this complains that they don’t have enough time to practice. My response
is always the same: find convenient, easy moments to do it, and make them into fun, daily habits.
No matter what your level is, you don’t have to be intently listening to learn. You just need to do it
every day.

If you don’t understand, your mind and brain will adapt to the native rhythms pretty quickly, and
you’ll soon start understanding and spontaneously using new words and speaking more like a
native.

Besides transit time, a few convenient moments for most people include when getting ready in the
morning, cooking, cleaning your house, exercising.

Listen to Native English Speaking Podcasts & Online Radio

The world is getting smaller every day, and technology is making it possible to be connected to
every culture and language from your internet connection and smartphone, anytime you want.

This is great news for your English!

Podcasts are limitless and if you haven’t started listening, you are missing out, so START NOW. You
don’t need to depend on traditional media sources for your news, information, and professional
development.

There are native English speaking podcasts about EVERY TOPIC under the sun, from professional
topics like business and entrepreneurship, to spirituality, fashion, art, culture, travel, and basically
anything you can imagine.

Online radio is another great resource. You can live stream radio stations from all over the world
with an internet connection. Just try an app like TuneIn.

ESL Podcasts/Podcasts for English Learners

ESL (English as a Second Language) podcasts are made specifically for people learning English.
There are teachers all around the world providing FREE ENGLISH RESOURCES. A good place to
start is with our own podcast.

Learn the Lyrics to Your Favorite Songs in English

Music is another excellent way to listen in English, and it’s a lot of fun. The cool thing about music is
that most people already listen to music in English. I suggest you print up the lyrics, read them, and
look up any words you don’t know.

If you do this regularly, you will build a repertoire of songs that you know and understand. You’ll
listen to them again and again and burn the vocabulary into your brain.

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Watch Lots of TV and Movies (with and without English subtitles)
This is another convenient, fun way to improve your listening skills. Most people already watch
television and movies in English. Now you just need to make your English learning purpose explicit:
use these convenient daily habits to learn English.

TV series are ideal because they are shorter and you can do them every day. You can watch them in
order, for example on Netflix, so that there is a continuous story. Friends is the most popular. In
fact, research shows that it has had a huge impact on how English is spoken in the United States
today. And that students can learn a lot of English from it.

Movies are excellent too. However, while movies are generally much more enriching and higher
quality than TV shows, the 90 to 120+ minutes usually required to watch movies isn’t something
people have every day.

SUBTITLES: If you don’t understand what they are saying, put subtitles on in English. Once you get
used to that, try taking them off. You can watch the same episode (or even scene) over and over
until you really start to understand it. Look for the transcript online. Just type into Google
“Transcript Season 1 Episode 1 [series name]”. I even recommend you print it out and take notes all
over it.

Try to Understand the General Idea: Accept That You Won’t

Understand Everything
Whether it’s a real life interaction with another person (or a group), or you’re listening to a podcast,
or watching TV, try your best to focus on the general idea. Accept that you probably won’t
understand everything. It will get easier with time and consistent effort.

A common myth that language learners have about the target language is that fluency means that
you understand 100% of what is being said. Well, I’m a native English speaker, and there are times
when I don’t understand what other people are saying. Does that mean that I’m not fluent? If you
pay attention, you will notice this happens with your native language, too. It just isn’t important
because you understand through the context.

My advice to language learners is to be patient with your listening comprehension, relax and try to
understand the main idea. The more consistently you make the effort to just stay present and listen,
the stronger the context for understanding the details will be (just like in your mothertongue!).

Pay Attention: Be an Engaged Listener in Your Native Tongue

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” –
Stephen Covey, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

The cold hard truth is that most people are not very good listeners even in their native tongues. If
you aren’t able to deeply listen to what others are saying in your native language, how can you do it
in a second language?

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In 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey explains this perfectly in Habit 5: First
understand, then be understood.

“Communication is the most important skill in life. You spend years learning how to read and write,
and years learning how to speak. But what about listening? What training have you had that
enables you to listen so you really, deeply understand another human being? Probably none, right?”

Open Your Mind and Ears to Slang and Colloquial English

Just like any language, native English speakers use the language immensely differently than the way
you were taught in school. This is nothing against English courses, many of which are doing a great
job preparing students with a foundation for fluency.

The problem is that the colloquial/slang part of the language is nearly impossible to map, study,
and teach using traditional methodology. Beyond that, a lot of grammar purists and academic
minded people don’t even recognize this as a relevant part of the language. If you’re interested in
learning real life English, this is a big limitation.

A simple example of this is how native speakers EVERYWHERE use:

● Going to (Future) = GONNA –> I’m gonna go to the movies tomorrow.

● Want to= WANNA –> I wanna learn more English.

● Got to (I’ve got to/I have to) = GOTTA –> I would love to stay, but I gotta go.

Learn and Pay Attention to Body Language

Scientists say that 50-80% of all communication is nonverbal body language.

What this tells us is that the cultural aspect has HUGE importance here, and that as non-native
participants of a different culture, we should really learn and pay attention to what body language
communicates. We must listen deeply!

One small but strong examples is that in most latin countries, like Brazil, people stand a lot closer
and the personal space is much less important than in the United States.

Survival Phrases/Confirm Your Understanding

Another aspect of the English language that will improve your listening abilities (in-person
interactions) is to know your survival phrases perfectly. What are survival phrases? They are Basic
questions that communicate when you don’t understand something, when you need to ask about a
word.

We will learn a lot more about Survival Phrases in the third part of the Ebook.

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Learn Discourse Markers
The final listening tip is to learn how to understand (and use) discourse markers at a really high
level. Most people don’t know what these are, but they are essential for communication. Once you
learn this small handful of words, you’ll see and hear them everywhere.

Discourse markers are the fillers, words or phrases that don’t change the direct, literal meaning of
communication, but facilitate communication by initiating discourse, marking boundaries,
preparing a response or a reaction, or giving the speaker time to think. Here are a few examples:

● Well: Well, I can’t hang out with tonight. I’m a little tired.

● So: So, what are you planning to do tonight?

● Look: Look, we need to talk.

● Kinda (Kind of): I’m kinda tired tonight.

● Like: He’s like my best friend.

● Alright: Alright, look, so I’m gonna help you out.

● You Know: I’m not a bank, you know. I can’t loan you money.

● Anyway: So, anyway, after that happened, I decided to learn English.

● Actually: Actually, in Brazil they speak Portuguese, not Spanish.

● Now: Now look, I’m not looking for trouble. Just take my wallet.

You have them in your own language for sure, and you wouldn’t feel comfortable communicating
without them. Just the same in English, you must understand them and learn to use them for
advanced fluency. The problem is that, although they are easy to learn with the proper experience,
they are rarely taught.

Learn (And Remember) 1000s of New Words

Do you find it difficult to remember new words in English?

English has the largest vocabulary of any language in the world. Whether you are a beginner or an
advanced speaker of English, you are always growing your vocabulary. Always encountering tons
of new words. And new ways to say words that you already know.

The richer your vocabulary, the more fluently you can speak the language, so you should be learning
new words every day.

But when you don’t live in an English speaking country you don’t have nearly as many
opportunities to expand your vocabulary in your everyday life. You must create these opportunities
for yourself.

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English has the largest vocabulary of any language, which makes it very rich and colorful. This is
because it has large influence from Latin languages (especially French), Germanic languages (like
Dutch and German), and Celtic languages. English is always growing in vocabulary, as it borrows
from other languages, as well.

The famous writer, Shakespeare, alone added more than 1,700 words to the English language.

The Internet and technology advances are also having rapid influences on English, creating new
words every year like YOLO (You Only Live Once), tweeting and meme.

Try picking up an English thesaurus (dictionary of synonyms). Almost any word you choose has a
dozen variations that mean more or less the same thing. In a language like English, a rich
vocabulary is an important resource to be able to comprehend and communicate confidently.

Keep a Word Journal

The first time I lived abroad, I was constantly bombarded [hit] by words I didn’t know, and I
couldn’t possibly remember them all. I found that keeping a pocket-sized notebook on me at all
times was a very useful technique to remember the new words that I would hear. When I didn’t
write them down, I’d find myself asking how to say certain words over and over again. My friends
would even tell me that they’d already taught me that word. No one likes to feel annoying, and
forgetting words is a pain that you can easily avoid!

Nowadays, I use an app like Evernote on my smartphone.

Even if you aren’t living in a country where you’re surrounded by English, this is still a great idea.
Commit to noting down three to five new words every day (depending on your current level), and
then review the words every day until you find that they have been integrated into your vocabulary.

There are some smart vocabulary tools that make this effortless. We’ll discuss them in a bit.

If your English is at a more advanced level, I recommend that you don’t simply write down the
translation of the new words in your language. This will cause bad habits of thinking in your native
language and then translating into English.

Instead, look up the definition in an English dictionary. They usually have explanations of all the
different uses along with examples. Try to draw a picture (or search for the word on Google images
and see what comes up). Write a synonym. Note something that will remind you of the new word’s
definition (perhaps it sounds like another word you know). And always write down an example
sentence. I like to search for the expression on Google News and see in what kinds of contexts it
comes up in.

For example, if one of your new words is seagull, you could draw a picture of it, you could write
“bird”, you could write “beach”, or you could write, “Thousands of seagulls are migrating north to
Canada”. By forcing yourself not to translate, you will start thinking in English and foster a more
fluent mindset (attitude).

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Your word journal (or note taking app) is a great strategy in addition to these other techniques. Let
them be the inspiration for your three to five words each day.

Watch TV Shows
TV series are not only great for improving your listening, but also an ideal place to acquire new
vocabulary! If you watch with audio and subtitles in English, you can pick up all sorts of expression.

It is especially helpful if you watch the shows on a DVD or Netflix so you can pause and jot down
[write] new words and look them up in a dictionary later (if you didn’t understand from the
context).

I recommend that you watch TV shows that are related to your profession in order to acquire more
technical vocabulary. For example, if you’re a lawyer you can watch Law and Order, a doctor can
watch Grey’s Anatomy or House, and scientists can watch the Big Bang Theory. Search for a show
that fits your needs in order to have the best results.

Movies are great, too, but many of us don’t have time to watch an entire movie several times a
week. Watching a television show only takes about 20 minutes.

Read
Read anything; I can’t emphasize this enough. Newspaper articles, sports articles, books, comics,
magazines and blogs are all great options. If you want to improve your vocabulary this is definitely
one of the best ways.

Some recommendable books for intermediate learners to start with are the Little Prince by Antoine
de Saint-Exupéry and The Harry Potter series.

I don’t recommend looking up every word you don’t know while reading because you’ll end up
taking a week to finish a single chapter. It won’t be a fun experience. When reading a book, it’s not
important that you know every word; you will still understand the main point. And you’ll be
surprised how much you understand just through the context.

Just circle words that you don’t know and look them up later.

Some of the best, most impartial news (it doesn’t take a side) is found only in English. The more that
you can read and speak English, the better the information that you’ll have access to. Try the New
York Times, the Economist, BBC, or CNN. Maybe you like comical news, then try the Onion.

These aren’t all 100 percent free, but they let you see several articles each day without charging
you, which is more than enough to put your English to use.

Whereas a novel will give you good vocabulary for everyday conversation, the news can give you
more technical vocabulary, which is great for your career or just for sounding intelligent!

You won’t just be improving your English, you’ll also be becoming more informed and educated.
This is equally important if you want to travel.

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Blogs are equally great because they exist about every topic. Whatever it is that interests you, you
can find a blog on it. The other great thing about blogs is that you can comment, and even get in
conversations or debates over certain issues.

Talk to People
Just because you don’t live in an English speaking country doesn’t mean you can’t practice speaking
outside of class. There are several ways that you can find people to talk to.

Look on Meetup, Facebook and Google for English groups in your city. Many big cities have
expatriates (expats) that get together to talk, and they always love to make new friends that are
native to the country. Or you might find a group of English students like yourself who you can
practice with.

Even if you don’t live in a large city, you can use English groups to meet people to chat with or even
to Skype with. It doesn’t matter if it’s a native speaker or just someone else that is learning English
as a second language. The important thing is that you’re practicing speaking because it builds
confidence. And another non-native English speaker is sure to know some vocabulary that you
don’t know and vice-versa.

Couchsurfing is awesome in many ways. First, it is a community for travelers. When you travel, you
can find a host on Couchsurfing who hosts you in his or her home for free, and you can host
travelers in your hometown. It is a great way to meet people from all over the world and experience
new cultures without necessarily traveling. It is a legitimate organization because it is based on
references; you don’t couchsurf with someone who has negative references.

Second, most cities have Couchsurfing groups that meet up weekly. Find one near you on the
“Activities” section of the website. Third, you can look for people who live in your town and want to
hang out (grab a coffee or something similar). You might just find an American or British person
living near you who is looking to meet people.

Last, on the group and discussions part of the website, you can find people to chat with about
different topics. Another great way just to converse and build your vocabulary.

Smart Vocabulary Learning: Spaced Repetitions Systems (SRS)

These tools are must haves for learners that want to remember new vocabulary.

Anki is a flashcard [card for studying] app for computers, tablets and smartphones. It is an amazing
tool for language learning.

With Anki you can download decks [a package of cards] that other people have made and you can
also make your own. I recommend making your own decks with the vocabulary that you write
down in your journal or note taking app in order to help you study. You can attach sound files and
photos to the flashcards.

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The reason Anki works so well is because it asks you the difficulty of each card. If it’s a word that is
easy for you, you won’t see it for several days. But if it’s difficult you’ll see it within a few seconds or
minutes. This makes sure that the words are engraved into your memory over a long period of time.
And these time periods change as you study the words more. For example, a word you know really
well you won’t see for a couple months, but you will see it again so you never forget.

You can synchronize Anki on your computer to the application on your phone, so you can take your
flashcards with you everywhere, and anytime you have a spare [extra] five minutes, you can study
them. I love having Anki on my smartphone because anytime I have to wait, it’s free study time!

Note: Nowadays I use an app called Flashcards Deluxe because it has the same functionality as
Anki, but is free on iPhone.

Anki has really basic functionality, so I also would recommend you check out other Smart
Vocabulary Apps like Memrise or Quizlet, which add games and quizzes to help you remember even
better! All of them are available to use on the go on your phone.

The Importance of Learning English Expressions

There are three different types of English expressions.

1. Idioms
2. Phrasal verbs
3. Slang

What is an Idiom?
An idiom is figurative expression or phrase used to express an idea vaguely, so it doesn’t relate
directly to the person you’re speaking to.
A good example of this would be, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”

This idiom is saying that in some situations in life, you can’t have 2 good things if they contradict
with each other.

If someone I know had a girlfriend and a mistress, I could use this expression to suggest to him, in a
non-confronting or judgmental way, that he should choose one or the other.

Some idioms are funny or silly while others can be quite profound. I love to use and teach idioms
because they make the language a lot more enjoyable

What is a Phrasal Verb?

Phrasal verbs are used A LOT in everyday English, formal and informal. Most phrasal verbs have a
figurative meaning just like idioms, and a literal meaning. A phrasal verb is always constructed with
a verb and typically either an adverb or preposition.

Common phrasal verbs:

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Look for = To search, “I’m looking for my wallet.”
Give up = To stop doing a hobby or a habit, “I gave up smoking.”
Run out = Something has finished or been consumed, “My car ran out of gas on the way to work.”

All three of these examples above have a figurative meaning, and one of them also has a literal
meaning. The phrasal verb “run out,” can be used literally to say that someone left a room or a place
in a running motion e.g. “The man ran out of his office screaming.”

What is Slang?
This last type of expressions are probably the most difficult as it changes from place to place. Slang
expressions are the words you won’t find in a dictionary because most of the time they are created
through different cultural groups. People make up new slang every day.

In the US you will find different slangs depending on who you hang out with. If you hang out with a
surfer the slang you hear will be totally different form the slang you would hear if you were to hang
out with a rap fan. Age groups can also determine the slang that someone uses. My dad uses many
slang words that I’d never say because for me they are old fashioned.

Here is an example of some different slang examples from different cultural groups.

RAP SLANG
Aight – short for alright
Beef – serious trouble
Crib – your home
Fresh – brand new or great
Hood – your neighborhood
Rollout – to leave

SURFER SLANG
Gnarly- Very, good excellent
Bro- General name for friend
Sick- Alternative for cool
Epic- A memorable situation
Buzzkill- When someone ruins the moment

INPUT vs. OUTPUT

Now you have learned a lot about different types of vocabulary, expressions, where to find them,
and how to remember them.

Now, I’m going to reveal to you one of the biggest lies told to English learners everywhere!

Again and again I’ve heard the same question from my students and RealLifers like you from
around the world:

How can I speak with native speakers?

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English learners are always wondering where they can find people from the U.S., UK, Australia, etc.
who will help them practice their speaking (for free).

But do you really need to speak with Native English speakers to get fluent?

No, of course not!

This may sound unbelievable to you, but my goal is to show you that you do not need to speak with
native English speakers to get fluent.

The Myth of Needing to Learn English With Natives

This idea of NEEDING to speak with native English speakers is a myth that has gained more and
more momentum in the English as a second language field.

Despite the obvious fact that there are many excellent non-native teachers in the world, almost
everyone believes they have to learn with natives, without considering its validity.

But, why do we think this is true?

Well, it seems logical. But so does the theory of the world being flat if you just look around your
small part of the Earth, which is probably why people saw it as a fact for so long.

Many believe that the language belongs to the native speakers, so if we want to speak it ‘correctly’
we must speak English with them, right?

However, this idea is a barrier to the reality that languages are not so black and white [clearly
defined]. Especially English because it is the global language for communication.

The Truth About Language

What seems logical is not always what is true.

The truth is that no language is a set of natural laws, like math or science (although they are usually
taught in that way). Languages are fluid and evolving. There is no perfect way to speak them. Native
speakers bend the rules, and usually we do NOT care if learners make mistakes, as long as we can
understand them.

Think about this: If you spoke to a learner of your own language, would you get annoyed or angry if
they made some mistakes? I’m almost certain your answer is, “Of course not.”

We have discovered from our years of teaching, organizing local events, and from our speaking App,
the RealLife Global Adventure, that English learners can succeed in getting real fluency without
ever living abroad or speaking with a native speaker.

That said, let me share with you the three myths that we have discovered, with the help of the
RealLife Community, about speaking English with native speakers:

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MYTH 1: Natives speak ‘real’ English
THE TRUTH? English is the global language!
English is no longer just a language spoken in the U.S., the U.K., and Australia.

English is used in virtually all cross-cultural interactions, like business and tourism

In the last century, English has evolved into the Global Language used to communicate with people
from other countries. In fact, there are twice as many non-native English speakers than natives!

And did you know that about 75% of the English spoken every day is non-native to non-native?

For example, when a German company meets with a Brazilian company, what language do you
think they discuss in? It would be strange for them to converse in Portuguese or German, right? We
expect that they all speak English.

For this reason, it would be foolish [silly] to have a goal of only speaking with native speakers. You
need to have a global perspective, and be able to communicate with people from any country,
despite their accent.

I would even argue that we are evolving beyond needing to choose between learning American or
British English. Soon, students will learn global English.

MYTH 2: Natives can correct you better than non-natives

THE TRUTH? It is important to consider input vs. output!
Some learners truly believe that without communicating regularly with a native, they cannot
improve their English comprehension (or speaking).

If you have problems with aspects of the language like listening, vocabulary, grammar, or even
pronunciation, just speaking with a native will not (necessarily) help.

Anyone who believes that they need a native speaker in order to improve their listening (or
vocabulary, grammar, etc.) is just making an excuse for the hard work they still have to do learning
the language.

Not having native speakers around is NOT a valid excuse not to improve your English.

Any teacher or native speaker cannot do this work for you. A good teacher’s job is not to make you
learn. A good teacher is your guide on the path to fluency. But it is up to YOU to walk the path.

The most valuable part of speaking with someone from the U.S.A., U.K., etc. is that you get to hear
the language as it is spoken in that country. NOT that you will get your mistakes corrected. In my
experience, unless it is a teacher that you are paying, it is unlikely that a native speaker will correct
your mistakes.

That is why the difference between input (reading, listening) and output (writing, speaking) is so
important.

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When improving our speaking is the goal, listening is especially important to absorb how the
language is naturally spoken.

The wonderful thing about English is that there are tons and tons of resources for input that are
easily accessible for anyone, as we have discussed so far in this Ebook.

Input actually helps you to contextualize and internalize aspects of the language like the rhythm
and flow, correct pronunciation, colloquialisms, and grammar in use, which all are reflected when
you start speaking.

And it does not matter if your speaking practice is with a non-native, or even alone. What is
important is that you put what you are learning to use and speak at every opportunity.

And just to quickly resolve another common misconception…

Will Speaking with Non-Natives Make My English Worse?

Conversation with non-native speakers will NOT make your English worst if you are balancing it
with enough native resources.

It’s easy to surround yourself with native speakers, without living abroad, and without actual native
friends.

And in fact, many learners have told me they believe speaking with non-natives from different
countries helps their listening because they get used to a variety of accents.

In summary, by listening a lot and speaking regularly you will see your confidence AND fluency
improve.

MYTH 3: Natives correct your mistakes and help you learn

THE TRUTH? Other English learners are empathetic and understand your
experience!
Most people say they want to speak with a native speaker, but are actually too scared to.

In fact, for most people, this is the biggest barrier to fluency. Because of this, they either resist
looking for opportunities to speak, or when they get the chance, they freeze up or find an excuse not
to practice.

But speaking to other learners is not nearly as scary. As one RealLifer told me, “When I speak with a
non-native I feel comfortable because I’m one of them.”

You do not have to worry about them judging you because they know how you feel.

I have talked to many RealLife Global Adventure participants who have been proactive about
looking for other learners to speak with. Over and over I’ve seen how it has helped them to build
their confidence and even eliminate their fear of speaking to natives!

Being a great teacher or a helpful learning partner depends completely on experience.

13
The average English learner knows more about English grammar than the average native English
speaker. Most native speakers (probably over 97%) do not understand the complexities of their
own language, and even less know how to teach it.

Furthermore, many English native speakers feel it is rude to correct someone’s mistakes. Other
learners empathize with your fears and challenges. For this reason, they are more likely to correct
you.

Most people that think they NEED to speak with a native speaker have little (if any) experience
actually speaking with people from non-English speaking countries. And many who have not done
enough work to improve their listening, confidence, and conversational skills don’t realize that if
they have a conversation with a native right now, they are going to have a lot of difficulty
understanding and communicating with her. Natives generally speak fast, connect their speech, and
use a lot of slang and expressions.

This can build on one’s existing anxiety of speaking, and causes many to quickly give up.

That’s why just starting to speak, especially with someone who is patient and empathetic, is a huge
confidence boost [improvement]. This is EXACTLY what a learner needs to get over her fears, to
start communicating, and move towards fluency.

If you get the chance, of course speaking with natives is great.

But too many people think of natives as a magic pill that will suddenly give them fluency, while
ignoring the hard work and dedication they have to put in.

Without first changing your mindset, how you think about learning, you will never be fluent. I know
this not just from speaking to hundreds of English learners, but because I too have fallen into this
trap!

Just speaking is NOT enough to gain advanced levels of fluency. It can actually be frustrating
because we have the expectation that speaking with natives is enough, and then in reality find out
that it’s not. There is still a lot of hard work necessary on our behalf.

I have found that by speaking with natives, I can get conversationally fluent. But to move towards
true mastery of the language, I still need to do a lot of work myself (comprehending the rules,
drilling pronunciation exercises, reading and acquiring advanced vocabulary, etc.).

Speaking helps us gain confidence and fluency. Studying and working on our issues help us achieve
mastery!

If fluency is your goal, start NOW! Be proactive. Stop making excuses.

Don’t ignore the potential of connecting with the huge amount of learners like yourself. You are
missing out on a huge opportunity to share your experience, improve your speaking, learn about
other cultures, increase your confidence, and gain fluency!

But maybe you are still worried about how you sound speaking English. Do you say the words
right? Will other people even understand you?

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And why when you watch TV series or listen to podcasts do the natives not sound like what you
learned in school?

Understand Fast-Speaking Natives & Communicate

Beautifully
Is there something missing in your English fluency? Do you have this gut feeling [feeling in your
stomach] that you should speak better than you do, that you could be more fluent, but there’s a
missing piece to the puzzle?

It’s a story that repeats itself over and over again: you’ve studied plenty of English, learned the
grammar, done everything you were told to do, and maybe you even lived in an English speaking
country. But still after all the hard work and sacrifice, you don’t feel you’re as fluent as you could be.

To your disappointment you still have a thick accent. You still have trouble with the fluidity of your
speech. You still can’t fully understand native speakers. And even when you speak with perfect
grammar, sometimes people don’t understand you.

But you have to accept it, right? I mean, we’ve learned that as adult language learners, we can’t
expect too much, that it’s nearly impossible to reduce our accent in the target language, so why
should we even try, right?

WRONG!

There is a Better Way

I know all of this because this is my story, too. I have experienced the exact same frustrations with
my language learning, and as a teacher I’ve worked through it with my own students and RealLifers
like you.

There is a better way. If you are willing to open your mind and change how you think about
language learning, to learn and to build a few key daily habits, and above all to persevere, then you
will experience dramatic improvement in your English fluency in a relatively short amount
of time.

If you’re a non-native teacher, you can kill two birds with one stone [take care of two important
things with one effort] by improving not only your own perception and pronunciation, but also by
learning how to effectively teach it.

The Powerful Connection Between Fluency and Pronunciation

For the majority of intermediate and advanced learners (including most teachers), effective accent
reduction training could very well be the single most powerful, direct, and fastest way to improve
your fluency. In fact, more and more academic studies are showing miraculous results from its
application.

15
One such example of accent reduction research is a recent Northern Arizona University Study
showing that in just 6 weeks of pronunciation training (at a mere 2 hours per week) learners
experienced a 48% increase in comprehensibility (the ability for others to understand) compared to
a 3% decrease for the control group (the group that did not receive the training) as evaluated by
native speakers.

This is just one study, of course, but there are plenty more pointing in this direction. In addition, if
you start paying attention to good language learners and if you experiment with your own
pronunciation, you’ll start to connect the dots [see the patterns].

The Three Pillars of Great Pronunciation

1. Stress, Rhythm, and Intonation (Musicality)
“If music is sound, and sound is language, that means that language is music.”
-Idahosa Ness, Mimic Method
The huge importance of musicality in the English language is undeniable to more and more English
teachers, learners, and researchers. The only questions to be answered are about the ideal
combination of ingredients for optimal accent training, and how to apply them to our learning and
teaching.

English accent expert, Paddy Kennedy calls it a beat-driven language. English teaching innovator,
Rachel Smith (Rachel’s English), describes the English rhythm as stress-timed.

The point is that if you can develop an awareness of the rhythm and stress of English (which is very
different than other languages), and combine that with a feel for intonation, you’ll naturally start to
tune in to the musical background patterns that guide the way natives speak.

This awareness will open you up to a whole new perception of the language, which will show you
the hidden logic of sound morphing (how natives cut and mix their words) and build a base for
you to actually imitate it with music & mimicry (how to improve your accent by imitating native
speakers).

2. Sound Morphing (plus Shrinking & Linking)

If you listen to the way native speakers actually talk, you will discover that we don’t speak how you
learned. A few of the most common examples we looked at before: Wanna (want to), Gonna (going
to), Gotta/“Godda” (Got to), Lemme (Let me).

We also do this as we connect or link words. For example, a native speaker will rarely enunciate “a
lot of,” but we say “a-lah-duh.” Another example is, “Did you see her?” We say “jew-see-er?”. These
are just a few examples, but if you start to pay attention, you’ll notice them everywhere.

The reason people have problems understanding native speakers isn’t only because we speak
fast.

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The truth is that we cut our words, connect them, and shorten the sounds based upon the musical
rhythm of English, and it ends up coming out very differently than what traditional methods teach.
This is what we call sound morphing.

A lot of people incorrectly attribute this to colloquial speech, or the bastardization of American
English. While it’s true that we should not write like this (at least in formal contexts), and that
British people speak differently than Americans in a lot of ways, sound morphing is a universal
occurrence in formal and informal contexts, in all English speaking countries and accents.

This is a fact of the English language.

To understand why we sound morph, or shrink and link, we need to deepen our perception and feel
the stress-timed rhythm of the English language together with intonation, which we talked about in
the first pillar.

English’s stress-driven beat creates a rhythm that alternates between unstressed function words
(which we tend to cut, morph or flatten) with stressed content words (that contain the meaning).

3. Mimicry, Imitation, and Rap Music (Application & Practice)

The application of these ideas and practice of these sounds is definitely the most dynamic,
unexplored, and innovative aspect of accent training. This is an important reason why few people
are learning this, and even fewer are teaching it. Another reason is that the conventional grammar-
focused approach does little to recognize this as a valid component of language learning.

However, the ideas AND results are out there and they speak for themselves, and there are a
handful of talented teachers applying this, systemizing it, and innovating the industry.

Now that we’ve developed a basis for understanding and identifying the rhythm of English (stress-
timed), and how it guides the way native speakers cut, shrink and link words (sound morphing)
let’s talk about how we can apply it.

Remember, the best way to start is to relax, play around with these ideas, and start imitating the
sounds today. I’ve presented a lot of ideas, but the only way to really adapt to this new perspective
and apply it to your learning is to follow your curiosity and experiment.

Dynamic Techniques & Resources

Learn Native Pronunciation with TV Shows
I’m amazed how many excellent English speakers I’ve met who tell me they learned by watching TV
shows (probably the one I’ve heard the most is Friends).

Why is that?

The language and pronunciation in Sitcoms like Friends is very close to how natives speak in day-to-
day life (as proven by several academic studies). So by mimicking conversation from series like this,
you can greatly improve you pronunciation AND understanding of native speech (in addition to
other benefits, like practical vocabulary and cultural awareness).

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This is why we created our course, Fluent with Friends, that teaches English with the TV series
Friends, to help you understand and speak fluent English.

Imitating native pronunciation with music

This is one of the most dynamic, and effective ways to adapt your perception and muscles of
articulation to the rhythm and pronunciation of the English language. I can’t count the number of
times I’ve met English learners who have surprised me with their native-like pronunciation, only to
tell me that they learned to speak like that listening to music (especially rap or other rhythmic
music).

If you are interested in learning like this, I recommend choosing a song and practice it every day for
20 minutes. Find one that is appropriate for you level (based on how full of expressions it is and
how fast), and download the free recording/editing software Audacity, so you can slow it down and
gradually adapt to the normal speed. Audacity also allows you to record and overlay it to compare
your pronunciation.

Understand All the Jokes

Everything you know about the English language is wrong.

You’ve been neglecting an important component of your language studies over the past few years
and it is affecting your ability to speak English correctly.

Until you address this problem English will be remain a foreign language to you, and will never
become your second language.

You Aren’t Fluent in the Language Until You’re Fluent in the

Culture
Language isn’t enough
Let me tell you a story about an American named Sean.

Sean goes is planning to go to Brazil on business and starts studying Portuguese. After three months
of study he makes his first trip to Brazil.

His Portuguese is pretty good for someone who only studied for three months. He has a high level of
vocabulary that surprises his friends. His pronunciation is also surprisingly good. Brazilians find
him easy to understand.

However, something strange happens whenever he talks with his friends. Sean is a good listener
and often shows understanding by saying things like, “I see” and “right.” These words are simple
enough for him to translate, so Sean starts saying “vejo” and “direita” to show understanding of his
Brazilian friends. His friends think that he is strange for saying these things, but they just attribute
it to him being foreign (these are not the proper equivalents to use in Portuguese).

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One day Sean meets with a female executive that his company was doing business with. After
introductions the woman starts explaining what kind of services her company provides. To show
understanding, Sean says “gotcha” but translates it literally as “pego você.” (An expression meaning
“I hook up with you”). Needless to say, the female executive, a married woman, was shocked that he
would say something like that.

Language is a tool
Luckily for Sean there was someone there who understood what he meant to say and he was able to
explain the situation. But what if there was nobody there to bridge that cultural gap? How would
the cross-cultural misunderstanding been resolved?

Stories like this happen all the time. Students learn foreign languages at school or by themselves in
a way that is sterile of culture. Without understanding the culture that is underneath the language
you can’t say that you’re fluent in that language.

Think of a language like a tool that needs to be plugged in. In order for it to work properly you have
to put it in the right socket. Different countries have different outlets, so you might need an adaptor
for the tool to work properly. If you try putting it in the wrong outlet, the tool might blow up.

Unfortunately, many people learn a language thinking they can plug their tool into every outlet,
only to find out later that they need an adaptor. In order to be understood you need to have the
right adaptor. You need to adapt your language to match the culture you are speaking to, and not
think that the way you say things back home will work abroad, or when speaking in English with
someone from another country online or visiting your town.

What’s the difference?

The first thing that you need to be aware of is the different ways that people greet each other.
Hello’s are almost like a ritual, with many ways to be performed. You’ll never offend anyone by
saying “Hello,” but you won’t impress them either. In English there are dozens of ways to greet
someone, ranging from the informal “What’s crackin’?” to the more formal “How’ve you been?”

Saying goodbye is another part of this ritual. Depending on the relationship you have with the
person and when you intend to see them next you will need to vary your approach. When saying
goodbye to a friend you might say, “Catch you later, bro,” or if you want to be more formal you can
say, “I wish you well.”

Hello’s and goodbye’s are important to mention because every interaction has them. But what
about the rest of the conversation? It is important to realize that different cultures have different
styles of communication. In general, Americans are very direct and will go straight to the point of
the conversation. Americans tend to be less concerned with building a personal relationship than
they are with the person’s ability to get the job done. Is this the same in your country?

The style that each culture has for communication doesn’t make them better or worse than another
culture; it just means that it’s different. It is important to recognize and accept the differences that
exist between cultures and try to be open to these differences.

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To fully understand a language, you need to not only understand the words that are used, but the
emotions behind them. It’s not enough to learn from a book and expect to be able to effectively
communicate with speakers of that language. There are customs and rituals that have to be learned,
and mindsets that must be understood.

The only way you will learn about the differences between cultures is by exposing yourself to them.
You can do something that requires a bigger investment, for example study abroad or take a
vacation to a foreign country.

Or, as we mentioned previously, you can make friends with foreigners in your city or online. Don’t
be afraid of embarrassing yourself; its part of the process and you’ll be able to laugh about it later!

What’s more, the more you talk to people from different countries, the more cultural sensitivity and
empathy you will develop. Eventually, you will confidently be able to communicate with anyone,
anywhere.

Developing Cultural Fluency

Do you know how to respond appropriately when you don’t understand something in English?
Have you ever gotten strange vibes from a native speaker when you know that your grammar was
perfect?

As we have just seen, you are probably making a series of subtle, but significant cultural mistakes
when you respond to native speakers.

Even if you have perfect grammar, knowing exactly how to respond when you don’t understand
somebody is very important not just for your English fluency, but also for your cultural fluency.

What is cultural fluency? It’s the part of communication that transcends grammar. A lot of it
involves customs, attitudes, body language, and communication tendencies that aren’t directly
related to the literal meaning of our words.

An Everyday Example of Indelicate Cultural Communication

I recently had a 15 minute conversation with a guy who had an upper-intermediate English level.

The guy knew his grammar, he had great vocabulary, and even though his listening needed some
work, he had the language skills to communicate fluently.

BUT (and this is an important BUT) I didn’t feel good talking to him because he wasn’t able to flow
with the subtle cultural elements of English communication. This is cultural fluency.

Here’s a small and simple piece of our conversation:

ME: So, do you ever plan on getting back into music? (normal speed)

GUY: What? (sharp “T” sound)

ME: (I repeated what I said, but slower)

GUY: I didn’t understand.

20
He kept saying “what,” and “I don’t understand” and even his body language and facial expressions
made it seem like he was blaming me for him not understanding me.

I did not feel natural or comfortable speaking with him. In fact, I felt more authentic speaking
Portuguese with him.

A few years ago, I would not have understood why I felt uncomfortable speaking with him. Maybe I
would have doubted his English, or thought he was weird. Now I know that the reason was simple:
he lacked cultural fluency in this one small part of his English.

Because I’ve seen this happen so many times, I knew that the solution was simple, and it only took a
few minutes to explain. Very few English teachers, native or non-native speaking, know that this is
happening.

Even fewer teach effective solutions.

What You Are Communicating

The way you respond when you don’t understand something can communicate many things. This is
why you should pay attention to the words you choose, as well as the body language, tone, and
facial expressions.

I don’t/ didn’t understand: This is very common because it’s a direct translation from what people
would say in their native language. When non-native speakers say, “I didn’t understand” as a
response to not understanding something, there’s a subtle sense that the speaker is blaming me for
their lack of understanding.

I understand that the cultural dynamic is different, but by not asking me, or saying “sorry?,” as a
native speaker would, it feels like you are not taking responsibility, not being proactive about
understanding, and not politely asking me to repeat.

In English, we are often overly polite. So a short answer like, “I didn’t understand,” can come off
very rude.

“What?”: This is technically correct English, and native speakers even say this, in certain situations,
to respond when they don’t understand. However, I’ve observed that a lot of English learners don’t
use this correctly. They commit one of the following mistakes:

• They use “what” all the time, when native speakers use it only in certain, informal
situations.
• They say it really emphatically so that it almost feels like an interrogation.
• They emphasize the “t” at the end, so it just sounds too sharp. Native speakers use what’s
called a “stop consonant” with this. Try putting the emphasis on the “Wa” instead of on the
“T”.
• “Uhhhh?”: This is another thing that varies from country to country, but when somebody
doesn’t understand me, and they say “uhhh?” or some confused sound, it feels slightly
aggressive or cutting.

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There are times when a native speaker would say this (in very subtle, informal ways), but in my
experience, non-native speakers say this with an element of fear and/or confusion that can cause
slight emotional discomfort for me.

Body Language
You cannot talk about this subject without emphasizing the importance of body language, facial
expressions, the tone of your voice, because this is the most important part of communication. After
all, psychologists report that as much as 80% of communication is non-verbal. Here are the top
body language problems I see when people don’t understand me speaking English:

• The look on their face communicates fear, confusion, discomfort, or surprise. Appropriate
communication would be to relax your face and express interest in understanding, and
clarifying what you were confused about.
• Their body language withdraws from communication. It’s as if they aren’t trying to
understand. Appropriate communication would be to learn forward, with a sincere interest
to understand/ find out what was said.
• The tone of the voice should be calm. There’s nothing wrong with not understanding
somebody, but acting scared and confused will only make the speaker uncomfortable. The
correct tone should be calm, confident, and inquisitive.
• Because of all of this, it often seems like the person responding is blaming the speaker that
they don’t understand and demanding that they repeat (with the words and/or body
language).

The Polite Way to Respond with Cultural Fluency

Let’s face it, nobody is going to correct you because these are not grammar mistakes. Very few
people, native speakers or non-natives, understand what is happening. Something feels not quite
right, but most people just attribute it to a problem with your English.

So what is the proper way to respond when you don’t understand somebody?

Well, there are 7 important phrases that will not only dramatically improve your cultural fluency in
English, they will also make you sound more natural and confident.

These are not rigid universal grammar rules that can be easily mapped, but dynamic and subjective
tendencies that are the essence of effective communication. They are the subtle aspects of the
language that grammarticians trip over, and it’s why traditional, grammar-based methods are far
from complete.

In its essence, cultural fluency is how communication is influenced by attitudes, body language,
customs, and other intangible and often ambiguous aspects of communication that are not easy to
perceive. It is complicated, multi-faceted, and multi-disciplinary, and it is generally unconscious.

This is why English learners go to other countries to learn what can’t be taught via grammar.

But if you can find a way to learn and teach this stuff, it is dynamite for your English fluency. I will
teach you an important aspect of the cultural fluency system that I teach all of my students.

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You may have learned many of these things already, but as you read, think about how you respond,
and make these a part of your English right away.

Survival Phrases and Cultural Fluency

Let’s start with the basic cultural fluency problems that MOST SPEAKERS OF ALL LEVELS still
encounter:

How to communicate when you do not understand spoken English.

We call these survival phrases, but I would like to emphasize that learners of all levels make these
mistakes, including, believe it or not, a lot of non-native teachers. And I haven’t seen anybody do a
good job teaching these.

Here’s a quick overview of the top 6 culturally indelicate responses English speakers/learners
make when they don’t understand something.

You generally SHOULD NOT respond in the following ways in English, which we touched on before:

• “What?”
• “I didn’t/don’t Understand”
• “uhhh?” or some other sound
• Confused/puzzled look
• Body language expressing fear or frustration toward the speaker
• Looking for help from another person

So, while native speakers may communicate in the above manner occasionally, in specific
situations, it is recommended that you use these until you have a deep cultural understanding of the
language.

Survival phrases are the key phrases and responses that provide a safe and natural structure to
increase cultural fluency, to relax communication, and facilitate not only your confidence and social
skills, but also your ability to flow in spoken English.

First, let’s look at another example of ineffective/indelicate cultural communication.

Here’s a conversation I had with an intermediate English speaker:

Me: So what do you do enjoy about your job?

Girl: WhaT? (sharp “t” sound”)

Me: What do you enjoy about your job? (more slowly)

Girl: (Confused look- and then she said, “What do I enjoy??? Enjoy?!?!?!?! I don’t understand. Speak
in Portuguese.”)

Her inability to investigate the meaning of just one word, by saying, “What does ENJOY mean?”
decreased the quality of our conversation. It didn’t flow in a natural way because she didn’t have
strong survival phrases, and this made me feel awkward talking with her.

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She had solid grammar, and although she needed work on her listening, she should have been
capable of communicating fluently. Because of her lack cultural fluency, however, she had very low
confidence, and poor communication strategies.

When she said “what?” in this abrasive way, something in me closed and I felt like she was
interrogating me. Because I’m experienced with this and teach it all the time, I taught her what I’m
teaching you.

Not only did she start speaking more English, but an hour later I saw her having a fluent
conversation, using the phrases, and speaking with way more confidence.

Obviously she was the same girl, with the same grammar level, but she was speaking A LOT better
because she learned simple cultural fluency strategies.

This happens ALL THE TIME.

If you do not have an intuitive feel for the human and cultural elements of English communication,
native speakers will feel less comfortable and natural speaking with you.

When this happens, I often speak slower because you probably won’t understand many aspects of
my pronunciation, and this will force me to make a conscious effort to use easier words.

Because I have to speak slower, and the communication is not very efficient, the conversation
seems less natural, and it feels like I’m teaching rather than communicating. The conversation
becomes work for me.

If you know how to respond when you don’t know, native speakers will feel more authentic
speaking at a normal speed, and you will feel more comfortable letting them.

So we have seen the ways you should not respond. Here is a list of responses that are polite, maybe
even in a little bit of an exaggerated way, but they will greatly facilitate your cultural fluency.

1. Sorry?/ Excuse Me?/ Pardon?

When you don’t understand something somebody says, lean forward and say “sorry?” (“excuse
me?,” or “pardon?”). Native speakers use “what?” sometimes, but it’s very indelicate, or impolite in a
subtle, almost unconscious way. It’s like you’re interrogating the speaker. Native speakers don’t
pronounce the sharp “T” sound at the end, and when non-natives do this, it’s a bit indelicate.

2. Can you repeat that? / Can you speak slower (or more slowly)?
If you still don’t understand, this gives you another chance to hear it.

If you didn’t understand the word, this is a great way to develop your listening comprehension.

People don’t generally have a problem speaking slower, but you need to communicate this. Both
you and the speaker will relax and communicate better.

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3. What does [said word] mean?
This question is important for beginning and intermediate learners because when you miss just one
word, you don’t want them to repeat the whole sentence. The question is really quite simple, and
the person will explain it to you. It’s also a great way to improve your vocab and show that you are
interested.

You also have to be attentive to the pronunciation to repeat that one word.

NOTE: NOT what means [word]—we use the auxiliary verb in this question.

4. How do you say [said word]?

When you don’t know how to say a word in English, you don’t need to get confused. If you are fluent
in this phrase, you can either (a) ask “How do you say ________” a word from your native language, or
describe it with your body language, or (b) if you have enough vocab, say, “How do you say +
[description in other words].” This is also the structure for many other useful questions. Here are a
few:

• How do you pronounce [said word]?

• How do you spell [said word]?

NOTE: NOT “How can I say…..?”

5. What do you mean?

“What do you mean?” expresses that you understand the content of what the speaker is saying, but
the idea doesn’t totally make sense.

Even if you literally don’t understand, this phrase is an excellent way to get the speaker to explain
or rephrase what they just said. This gives you another chance to understand, and it saves face
[saves embarrassment].

It also makes you seem a lot more confident in your communication.

Native speakers don’t say “I don’t understand” much in social interaction. This seems more formal,
more rigid, and is not common in social situations. The general reason for this, at least in the United
States, is that we are more direct and proactive about our communication.

If you want somebody to repeat, you need to say “(I’m) sorry?” (or “pardon?”/”excuse me?”).

“I don’t/didn’t understand” is often a direct translation from communication in your native tongue
(definitely true for most Latin language speakers).

NOTE: NOT I Don’t Understand

6. (Do You) Know What I mean?/ “Know What I’m Saying”

“Do you know what I mean” is the best way to verify that people are following/understanding you
as you speak.

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This is also how we verify a deeper level of understanding (almost like, “can you see it from my
perspective?”) For example: Sometimes I think that Frank works too much, do you know what I
mean? When you say “do you know what I mean?,” you can be looking for both (a) verification, and
(b) empathy.

If you say “do you understand?” to verify that people are following and understanding you, you
communicate insecurity, or a lack of confidence in your English.

In colloquial conversation, we might say “Know what I mean?” (know whaddi mean?).

Another, more informal, or slang way to say this is “(Do you) know what I’m saying” (know
whaddi’m sayin’?).

NOTE: NOT Do You Understand?

7. Body Language and Fluent Communication

It varies from culture to culture, but it’s important to recognize that the body language of English
speaking cultures is just as important to learn as the language.

For cultural fluency, you really have to embody English speaking culture, and as an English learner,
your body language is a huge indicator of your confidence level, and how open you are to the
speaker. If you’re scared, body language will communicate this to the speaker.

So what’s the appropriate body language for communication? Ideally, you shouldn’t cross your
arms or legs. When you don’t understand, lean forward and communicate that you are open and
interested in learning from the other person. This is active and engaged listening.

Take responsibility if you don’t understand something. A lot of learners, in their frustration,
unconsciously blame the person they are speaking to. If you unconsciously do this, the person will
not feel natural and comfortable communicating with you.

The Right Attitude For Cultural Fluency

These survival phrases and the strategies listed above are very important for cultural fluency for
learners of all levels.

While they don’t represent a universal system for how native speakers speak and respond, they are
composed of universal elements of native communication. In addition, they provide learners of all
levels with a safe and culturally sensitive structure for communicating that facilitates natural
learning.

I tell my students that even if you don’t speak English fluently, learning to use this small group of
phrases in a fluent way will make a huge and immediate impact on your communication.

They will quickly empower you to speak, learn, and develop the correct attitude that facilitates real
fluency no matter what level you are at. By learning the phrases, you force yourself to develop
confidence, and people feel more comfortable speaking with you.

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For beginning and intermediate students, speaking with and understanding natives is far from easy.
It’s like slaying a dragon, and you need to have a thick skin. But this helps A LOT.

Learning fluency in these survival phrases is not hard, but the reward is BIG. It will provide you
with armor, and you can go into battle and learn, communicate, make mistakes, and struggle, but
your communication and learning will be much more fluid and culturally acceptable.

When you say “sorry?”, you have to lean a bit forward to show interest. Act confident, interested in
what the person is saying. A lot of people are so scared of speaking English, it feels like they are
blaming me for them not understanding. Show confidence. Show interest. Show that you are
wanting to connect with the person.

Proper body language communicates a psychological posture that is conducive to cultural fluency,
being connected to the other speaker, and this is important for them to feel comfortable with you.

The Psychological Element

Learning and perfecting these phrases will not only give you confidence, but it will make your
English more natural, and you will be more socially competent in English. All of these things will
catalyze higher and higher levels of fluency.

I always tell my beginning students that if you learn ONLY these phrases, you will be able to enter
any native speaking environment and hold your own [do a good job communicating on a basic level,
and avoid major communication problems].

For advanced students, if you’re not already using survival phrases and focusing on cultural fluency,
you may be avoiding an important step in lifelong cultural fluency in English.

It’s very important for you to use these regularly, unconsciously, and fluently. With cultural fluency,
the rest of communication flows a lot better.

Communicate and Understand with Confidence!

Congratulations, you have made it to the end of this Ebook.

I hope you have highlighted and taken notes, and really integrated all of these learnings. If you do,
you have exactly what you need to hugely improve your comprehension and speaking in English.

If you have any questions, we would love to hear from you. Just send us an email:

FluencyTeam@RealLifeGlobal.com

Now that you know what to do, it is time to go out there and kick ass with your English!

Aww Yeah!

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