Review of Learning Assignment

Blood and Treasure

“In military strategy, an exit strategy is understood to minimise losses of what military jargon called
"blood and treasure" (lives and material).” (Wikipedia, 2019).

I don't see blood and treasure in terms of minimising loss of lives and materials. Maybe it's because
I am not the military but my take on blood and treasure is framed in terms of the essence and the
gifts my life has brought me so far. It is my job to examine my blood and treasure, extract the
essence and the gifts and outline them here. In this assignment I look at my core values and how
they influence my ethical decisions, enumerate and evaluate my leadership skills, and then draw it
all together to think about where to from here.

The words underlined below are links to my evidence.

Part One Values and Ethics

I believe the exit plan is the blood and treasure put to work. The bedrock my exit strategy is built on
is my core values. I have six of them: creativity, aroha (love), pono (honesty and genuineness),
balance, manaakitanga (respect, generosity, hospitality), and wellbeing. In the following paragraphs
the things that are underlined provide my evidence.
Creativity could be defined as the use of the imagination or original ideas to create something
and/or having a good imagination or original ideas. (Oxford Living Dictionaries, 2019). It is one of
my core values because it is fundamental to me. I am a creative. The most obvious example is in my
poetry but of course it also shows up in the way that I think. One of the ways I value creativity is
shown in the 5 Whys exercise. I discovered that the core reason attending the Glenn Colquhoun
poetry course at the Autumn Art School was important to me was because it allowed me to explore
new territory in my poetry. New territory is important to me because it brings freshness and the
unexpected into my poetry. Creativity is also demonstrated in how I created the 'Dimensions of Me'.
I couldn't squash myself into the boxes in the Development plan and was getting very frustrated.
From that frustration a new way was born.
Aroha/love could be defined as an intense feeling of deep affection, and also as having great interest
and pleasure in something; there is also a element of sexual attraction/reproduction. (Oxford Living
Dictionaries, 2019). One of the ways I value aroha is demonstrated through the Johari Window
exercise. One of the most commonly selected words chosen to describe me was 'loving'. I love
easily. I don't know if other people are like this but for me the liking that I have for friends easily
develops into love. My Beloved used to feel a little jealous, in that my love for others was in some
way diminishing the love I felt for him. It doesn't. Love is an infinite bucket. I also love me. I loved
myself enough to allow the feeling of frustration to develop, to have a restless night, to be awake for
the day at 5am, to meditate and thence to spawn a three dimensional vision which turned into the
'Dimensions of Me'.
Wellbeing could be defined as working towards the state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy
and of attaining this most of the time. (Oxford Living Dictionaries, 2019). The most important way
I choose to value wellbeing is choosing satifaction rather than frustration as my dominant state of
being. I have chosen more and more to go by my feelings about something rather than by what my
mind says. I express the feelings in a safe and appropriate way which leads to wellbeing rather than
chaos. An example is when my Beloved gets triggered by something I have said and goes off to his
camper van. My mind would love for me to go and knock on his door, ask him what was going on
(to provoke him) and have it out with him. I choose to feel my feelings instead. I am angry and, by
myself, express it through throwing stones onto other stones and breaking sticks and yelling. At
some point the dam breaks and I cry. When the crying is done I feel calm. The wave of feelings has
passed. I am safe to be around others again. This is not what I would do previously: I would create
emotional chaos with my Beloved, and the boys would wear it too, and then I would wonder what
the hell happened. In the 5 Whys exercise why transforming my core wound was important to me
was because choosing according to my strategy & authority feels good and is satisfiying (see below
in the evaluating stengths section for a definition of strategy and authority). When I do this I feel so
good, and this spills into all aspects of my life.
Balance could be defined as the state of being where different elements are equal or in the correct
proportions; it incorporates mental and emotional stability, as well as elements of harmony and
proportion. (Oxford Living Dictionaries, 2019). Balance is something that I have been working on
for a long time; as the needs of the boys change so must I. In the Johari window exercise it shows
up in some of the words my teenage son Liam chose for me. This is a reflection of the state of play
in the bushold and is something that is in active transition at the moment. I am moving from being
perceived by Liam as oppressive, crabby, overpowering, resistant to change, hostile and obtuse to
being perceived as someone who has a power-sharing, collaborative, negotiated way of getting
things done. It is definitely a work in progress as the teenagers are very good at triggering my
default settings. I am practicing being mindful of how this happens so that I can step back and
regroup. This more balanced way of sharing the power in the bus reflects the growth of my sons
into teenage-hood and no longer liking being told what to do!
Pono could be defined as being true, valid, honest, genuine, and sincere. (Te Aka Online Māori
Dictionary, 2003-2019) It has been quite a journey to come to pono myself. The story of my
relationship with my Beloved began eighteen years ago. It was a love story but it turned into a story
of my Beloved's alcohol abuse. I had no understanding of what was happening. I thought that if I
just did this, or that, or something else maybe, then he would 'get it' and stop drinking, and
everything would be fine. Even the births of our two sons were on this continuum. Eventually I
could not stand the tension between what I wanted and what he was doing any longer and I chose to
leave. I chose to go back too. And to leave again. Then to live apart. Over time I have learnt to be
true to myself, to be honest with myself and to be genuine with myself. These things come first, and
then I can be them with other people. Whilst I was lying to myself, keeping everything to myself,
and putting on a good front I was unable to be truly pono with others. It was no shock to learn, in
the 5 Whys exercise, that the core reason leaving my Beloved was so important to me was 'I will be
revealed as who I am'. It was a value then (ten years ago) and it continues to be, growing ever
stronger as I unfold.
Manaakitanga could be defined as being the process of showing respect, generosity and care for
others including hospitality, kindness and support. Te Aka Online Māori Dictionary (2003-2019). I
have learned that the dictionary definition doesn't capture the deeper meaning of manaakitanga to
support and nurture the bright inner fire that we are all born with. (S. Gullen-Reynolds, personal
communication, March 2019). Since the mid 80s I have been searching for connection to give my
life meaning. I have been on many short courses, weekend workshops, training courses and
occasional hui and ultimately discovered it was a fruitless search, because I was not acknowledging
the mana within me first. I have detailed the story of leaving my Beloved above and leaving him
was one of the ways I needed to safeguard, support and nurture my inner fire. It took many many
little steps and lots of love and support from my friends. I now see it is about me respecting me first
of all and I would not have chosen manaakitanga as a core value ten years ago because I had no idea
how to truly value and respect me. It also explains why I felt got so frustrated and felt so strongly
about squashing myself in the little boxes of the Development Plan. It would have been
disrespectful, less than generous and not very kind to shut off that part of me that wanted to expand
into the multiple dimensions of me. Dimensions of Me.
How my values have influenced an ethical decision I have made.
My core values have influenced a very recent decision I have made. I have chosen to begin and end
my emails with a Maori greeting and end them with a Maori sign off regardless of who I am writing
the email to as a first step in deepening my awareness of Te Ao Maori. I have been doing this since
27 February 2019.
The story of why begins with me reading a book titled To Obama, with love, joy, hate and depair
about the letters US citizens wrote to Barack Obama during his eight year term as President, and
more specifically about the 10 letters a day, representing the thousands he received, that he read
religiously every night. There was one letter that hit me, wham. It was about a woman, Marg, who
had been brought up in a redneck region and had done everything she could think of to 'de-racify'
herself. She believed she had succeeded and no longer held any prejudice when the carpark incident
occured. She was walking acorss a carpark in the late afternoon in winter and it was cold. A young
man, an African Amercian young man, was walking across the carpark too, a distance from her. He
flicked his hoodie up and angled his walk to intersect with hers. Her body went on high alert and
was screaming “run, run, run” at her. She didn't but she did walk faster. When their paths intersected
the young man spoke to her, telling her of the underground walkway that she could use on cold days
like this. She was mortified. How could she have thought ill of this young man. Why had her body
reacted like it did? She decided to write to the president and tell him. It was all she could think of to
do. Barack Obama wrote back, a personal note in his own hand, thanking her for her thoughtfulness.
She thought of what Obama had said in an impromptu speech after Trayvon Martyn's murder where
he had suggested doing some soul-searching and having conversations about race at grassroots level
in local communities. Marg did, then began thinking of ways to interact with African American
people on a regular basis in her community. She organised seminars and a discussion group called
Unpacking (our own) HATE. She is now 75 and her favourite community event is the Community
Unity Picnic where the whole community (black, white, Hispanic, cops, kids, old people) get
together to play kickball and get dunked in the dunking pool.
My reaction to this story was that could be me, here in Aotearoa, if a Maori or Pacific Island man
was coming toward me later in the afternoon in a carpark and I was alone. Barack Obama said, in
his speech mentioned above, to enquire “Am I wringing as much bias out of myself as I can?” I
don't think I am. There is a whole lot more I could be doing. Further edcuating myself about Te Ao
Maori is one. Doing things that make me feel uncomfortable is another. Hence the greeting and sign
off in Maori. I am stepping outside my comfort zone. Thoughts run through my head: “What will
people think? Will they understand? What will they understand? What about people in other
countries?” But it is a small step in what Anne Milne calls 'colouring in the white spaces' (Milne,
2013). This is where the dominant culture is seen as the norm and pushes non-white cultures to the
margins. Milne writes of people speaking about the education system: “ “White spaces,” they
explain, are anything you accept as “normal” for Māori – when it’s really not, any situation that
prevents, or works against you “being Māori” or who you are, and that requires you to “be”
someone else and leave your beliefs behind. White spaces are spaces that allow you to require less
of yourself and that reinforce stereotypes and negative ideas about Māori. Most telling of all was
the comment from a Māori student that goes straight to the root of the problem, “White spaces are
everywhere,” she said, “even in your head.” ” (Milne, 2013, p.v).
Once I had the epiphany and my awareness had been opened up then I felt like I couldn't not do
anything. I would not be being pono nor showing manaakitanga, especially the respect and care
aspects, for Te Ao Maori if I didn't start wringing out more of my bias. I would not be showing
aroha, nor creating balance in my world. My wellbeing would rest uneasily on false foundations.
However, one of my core values was wriggling its way up to the surface of my consciousness to
speak: “The challenge to yourself to increase your knowledge and awareness of Te Ao Maori has a
potential consequence” it said, “and that is it might threaten your wellbeing. I can see stress
occuring as you go into spaces that are uncomfortable for you. What effect will it have on your
recovery [from adrenal fatigue]. Can you do this without harming yourself Libby?” After some
reflection on the current state of my wellbeing and the level of resiliency I am developing, and the
effect that staying in my bubble of whiteness and not making any changes would have on my
wellbeing, my answer was “I truly need to do this”.
I plan to colour in more of the white spaces than just my email greetings and signoffs. My learning
about the Treaty, bi-culturality and how they apply to the changes I am making in the world needs
to deepen. I will pick this thread up as I develop my Year 2 Negotiated Learning assignment 1 as
this is a capability that needs developing.

How culture has had an impact on the determination of my values.

Looking at my core values I see that I have chosen to be somewhat the opposite of my parents. The
key cultural message I got was how not to be in terms of love, creativity, wellbeing, balance, pono
and maanakitanga. My parents hid who they were behind the masks of work and the Parent role. I
knew when my mother was angry because that was the main emotion she showed. I did learn about
respect others and hospitality from my parents, but what others thought was so much more
important to my mother than being genuine (my mother had the most influence on me by dint of
being the main caregiver). For example when I wanted to buy a wedding outfit to get married in I
had to ditch the two piece skirt and top in pale yellow silk because “That is not a wedding dress.”
The unspoken message was “and what would people think.” An example of hospitality was when
my mother, who was English, extended invitations to sailors from Royal Navy ships to come for a
meal and spend a bit of time with a New Zealand family. An example of respect was that Mum and
Dad were to be spoken to in 'proper' way and not treated like one of my friends. We communicated
indirectly about emotions, never confronting the real issues – we danced round and round the
mulberry bush hoping that the person we were trying to communicate with would get it without us
having to say it. My father has a very creative brain and I received positive messages about
creativity from him by his example: he was always thinking up 'outside the square' solutions to
plumbing problems for example. The main message however was about work and getting
skills/qualifications for work.
The overt things such as respect and hospitality that I learnt from my family were what Edgar
Schein calls, in his top or outer level of Organisational Culture, Artefacts and Symbols. The 'getting
skills/qualifications for work' is an example of a family norm that fits under Schein's Espoused
Values middle level. The undercurrent messages I got (for example what others think is more
important than what I think) are examples of Schein's Basic Underlying Assumptions level that sits
at the core of the culture but are often unstated. (Mulder, 2013).
Looking at each of my core values and how it plays out in my life I see the following:
• I have struggled with adrenal fatigue and how I have had to prioritise my health, limit what I
can do and say no. This was (self) love in the making – the crucible.
• I had to model what I believed about respect when their father and I split up. I chose to
always put their love for him, and their relationship with him, first and to not disrespect him
verbally in front of them. I took it to my friends instead; venting was necessary to do in
some way!
• Being honest with and respecting myself was what lead to the break ups with my Beloved.
I recognised that continuing to live with his drinking was not good for my health both
mentally and physcially. This eventually led to me loving myself which was a long process
with therapy and transformation along the way.
• I have come to see that balance is as important as wellbeing. I have slowed way way down
as a result of (a) adrenal fatigue and (b) human design. I see that I have a part of me that is
fast but only in response and when it is right for me. Looking back over my life I see I got
involved in things that weren't correct for me because I was too eager to do, do, do.
 • Creativity is something I have come to see as essential to myself. In terms of my poetry it is
one of the ways that I process my experiences. I want to tell stories and am excited as to
what this may mean in terms of my creativity. I am picking this up as a capability to
develop, perhaps in my Year 2 Negotiated Learning assignment 1.
It takes courage to live your values when they bring you into conflict with others. The older I have
got the more I have stripped away to reveal the true me who is congruent with my values. The
challenges I get from Spirit these days are all about aroha and manaakitanga: Do I love/ressect
myself enough to quit my job even though it is the correct thing for me? Do I love/respect my boys
enough to put boundaries in place even when its hard? Do I love/respect myself and my Beloved
enough to say the difficult things when they are necessary?
Evidence: piece in my Learning Journal on family and my values highlighted in yellow.

Part 2 Strengths and characteristics

My leadership skills based on existing frameworks and literature.

The inspiration for my collection of leadership skills has come from several sources. From Richard
Rierson, Becoming a Leader, I have take the four Cs of calm, consistent, confident and
courageous. (Rierson, 2014). From 10 leadership theories in 5 minutes by Prof Michael Zigarelli: I
have taken technical skills, people skills, conceptual skills from the Skills theory; leader should
be matched to situation from Contingency theory; encouraging, caring, inspiring, cultivate
followers from Transformational theory (and grow leaders, from me); and reciprocal service,
trust, co-operation from Servant-Leader theory. (Zigarelli, 2013). The two tables on Moodle,
Leadership modules Part 2 provided Self-organising: interaction, initiative, keep adapting, keep
learning, strong shared intent, values, processes and Change oriented: inspire shared
responsibility for making change happen, facilitate shared vision of the future as well as
authentic, emergent, intentional and agile. (Malcolm, 2013).

My evaluation of my strengths and characteristics as a leader.

I have chosen to use Human Design as the framework within which to examine my leadership
qualities. Human Design is in essence an energetic tool which describes how the energy runs in a
persons system and how it creates the potentials they have. There are four energetic types and they
each have a unique way of operating in the world. There is also way of making decisions which is
body-based that everyone has whether they are aware of it or not.
I am someone who lives life by reponse, responding to prompts from outside of me. This is my
Strategy. I use my decision-making tool, my Authority, to guide me as to whether something I have
responded positively to is actually correct for me. I know it is correct when I reach a state of
calmness in my solar plexus. This is called clarity.

In the following paragraphs the words underlined provide my evidence.

When I use my Human Design strategy and authority then I am calm and confident. I know when I
have made a correct decision for me and I have trust in it because it is my body telling me this, not
my (tricky) mind. When I am unable to wait until I have clarity then I fall prey to the opposite. I
have a defined root and it helps me to be calm. The majority of the time I am able to be calm and
confident; these are strengths. Strengths and learning edges.
Consistency is something that I need more of. It is the result of having open head, ajna, and G
centres. I am learning about it, but obviously I need to learn more so that I can be more consistent. I
see this in my family with my children with me not being consistent in how I act with them, and in
the way that I take in various ideas, “oh this, oh that, oh oh, what about that over there?” It is the
'not self' disdvantage of having an open crown and ajna. It is a learning edge. Strengths and
learning edges.
I believe I am courageous, and have courage. It takes courage to live something that most people
don't understand (i.e. Human Design). It takes courage to leave your long term partner because of
his drinking. It takes courage to go back again and committ to working through things. Learning
Journal, the piece highlighted yellow.
I have the 'technical' and people skills to do 'My Work'. What I mean by 'technical' skills is that I
have documented processes that I take people through, I have qualifications, I have my Human
Design knowledge and experience, I have facilitation skills. By people skills I am meaning things
like communication, empathy, listening, negotiation, and networking. Professional Practice Canvas.
Branching out from 'My Work' into other ventures may mean needing other 'technical' skills.
Potential learning edge.
I have a open crown and ajna meaning I have a flexible mind and am able to take in all sorts of
information, concepts and ideas. This leads to me being able conceptually, although I am not
always a big picture thinker: it depends on whether I am called out to solve a crisis and whether that
is correct for me. This is a strength and a learning edge. Strengths and learning edges.
Being a leader who is matched to situation is something that I have in the context of 'My Work'. I
have everything I need in the way of skills to do what I do. However if I am going into story telling
then it is a learning edge. I have a capability that needs developing. It is a learning edge.
Professional Practice Canvas; Strengths and learning edges.
I am an emotional being and I have a design of sensitivity. Provided I pay attention to this then this
is definitely a strength. When I don't, or let my emotions build up, then it becomes a problem
because I can 'spew' the emotion all around me if I am not aware of the build up. I am naturally
good at encouraging, caring, inspiring, and cultivating followers. It is a strength. I am learning
about growing leaders. This is new to me and is a learning edge. Strengths and learning edges.

I believe in and attempt to model reciprocal service, trust and co-operation. I have an innate
sense of whether things are fair, that engenders trust and co-operation as long as I manage peoples
expecations of me. This is a strength. Strengths and learning edges.

I have the design of a transmitter and as a result am good at the salesperson aspect of life. This is
interaction and intitative, and the ability to keep adapting. I am always learning – the
investigator learning and building the firm foundation. I know when things are fair and believe this
is about having a shared intent, values and processes. These are all strengths. Strengths and
learning edges.

I don't have much experience in inspiring shared responsibility for making change happen or
facilitatiing a shared vision of the future. I am not sure I have these skills or capabilities yet. I
don't see them in myself (yet) and therefore can't see them in my human design. These are learning
edges that I need to get experience and skills in.

I am authentic. It is rooted in being pono, being honest and genuine, which is one of my core
values. It is a strength that I have that is part of who I am. Core Values.
I believe that part of having a open head, ajna, and G centre, and being a heretic investigator, is that
I am always exploring what is emergent and how it relates to me and what is happening around me.
This is a strength. Strengths and learning edges.

Intentionality is something I need more of. I am not as intentional as I would like to be. I forget
about being intentional because I get caught up in the emotional side of things due to my defined
emotional centre. I am learning about this. It is a learning edge. Strengths and learning edges.

Agility is something I need to develop more of. In terms of leadership it is the ability to think on
your feet, to go with things on the fly, to rapidly adapt to new situations. I don't really know how it
fits with my Human Design and therefore I need to figure that out. It is a learning edge. No
evidence for this as I don't know where it fits with me yet..
Theory U, developed by Otto Scharmer, outlines a process to use to develop learning edges into
capabilities and thence to competencies. I have been going down the left hand side of the U
becoming aware of my learning edges; this is where I have become aware of old ways of thinking,
am suspending them and seeing with fresh eyes; I am listening to myself and observing. Next I will
be doing some reading and learning experientially where I am opening myself further. Ahead of me
is the open mind, open heart, open will phase of sensing from the field and letting go. Some of this
is already happening. The move up the other side is what awaits in my Year 2 Negotiated Learning
assignment 1. Theory U allows me to process the whole picture, including the spiritual, which is
important to me. (Scharmer, 2007-2019).
In summary, I have looked at my core values and how they have influenced my ethical decisions,
and evaluated my leadership skills in terms of strengths and learning edges where further
development is needed. I have seen there are some areas needing attention: if I want to do story
telling I need to develop some capabilities around story telling; I need to develop more capabilities
in the area of Te Ao Maori and meaningful bi-culturality; I need to keep in mind that I have some
potential learning edges such as possibly needing different 'technical' skills when I branch out from
'My Work'. Further areas identified as learning edges are consistency, conceptual abilities, growing
leaders, inspiring shared responsibility for making change happen, facilitating a shared vision of the
future, being intentional and agility. The blood and treasure has been extracted. I will take these
learning edges to my Year 2 Negotiated Learning assignment 1.

References
Bunnell, L. (2011). The definitive book of Human Design, the science of differentiation. Carlsbad,
CA: HDC Publishing Ltd.
Laskas, J. M. (2018). To Obama, with love, joy, hate and depair. London: Bloomsbury Publishing.
Malcolm, M.J (2013) as cited in Inspiring Communities (2013). Learning by Doing: Community-
led Change in Aotearoa NZ. Wellington: Inspiring Communities Trust.
Milne, A. (2013). Colouring in the white spaces: reclaiming cultural identity in whitestream
schools. Thesis for Doctor of Philosophy: University of Waikato.
Mulder, P. (2013). Organizational Culture Model by Edgar Schein. ToolsHero. Retrieved from
https://www.toolshero.com/leadership/organizational-culture-model-schein/
Oxford Living Dictionaries. (2019). Retrieved from https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/
Rierson, R. [Dose of Leadership]. (2014, July 14). What is Leadership? [Video file]. Retrieved from
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpNWDekfGog
Spicer, C. (2017). Living Your Design course booklet. Auckland, NZ: Christine Spicer.
Scharmer, O. (2007-2019). Theory U. Leading from the future as it emerges. Retrieved from
https://www.presencing.org/aboutus/theory-u
Te Aka Online Māori Dictionary. (2003-2019). Retrieved from https://maoridictionary.co.nz/
Wikipedia. (2019). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exit_strategy

Zigarelli, M. [Christianity 9 – 5]. (2013, August 17). Ten leadership theories in five minutes. [Video
file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKUPDUDOBVo