JV Gamo HH

Holding on to our ‘why’ is the best first step through which we can go about life and
the commitments that go along with it; as evidenced by Ted Mosby’s journey towards
fulfilling his devotion to hope and believe in love.
The premise of the show, How I Met Your Mother, is unique in a sense that the
audience already knows the ending of the story that the narrator is recounting: that he will
ultimately meet the mother of his children. However, the main character, Ted Mosby, is still
oblivious to everything. Dramatic irony at is finest. Despite having this knowledge of the
narrative’s inevitable conclusion, the audience was still emotionally invested in this
character, having to relate in his high and lows while rejoicing in his every triumph, and
mourning in his every heartbreak. Because as with all journeys, the most compelling part is
not really the ultimate destination, but what it took to get there: every decision to go right
instead of left, every risk taken, and every opportunity seized. Moreover, Ted is like any
other hopeless romantic out there committed to find the love of his life. He went through
phases when he made very impulsive and purely emotional decisions; when he just let fate
and destiny decide for him; and when he eventually hit a threshold and decided to make
things happen under his own power.
Ted’s story reminds us of many of our own respective paths, even those outside of
the realm of love. We live, we fall, and we try our hardest to get back up again. We develop
a certain belief system along the way from building blocks that is our experiences. We hold
on to this belief system and we anchor our subsequent decisions on it. This is what I would
like to call our ‘why’ - the fundamental reason why we do what we do; or more precisely, why
we enter ourselves into certain commitments. Whether our ‘why’ is to pay it forward to our
parents, or to be the best basketball player in the world, or something as simple as to be
happy, it’s the reason we wake up in the morning; our primary driving force.
Having a solid ‘why’ is a good first step towards eventually realizing what God wants
for us, or has planned for us. This is because having a ‘why’ implies that we are holding on
to a commitment, which is a choice and a promise in itself, that provokes a deeper
understanding of our innermost desires to allow our true vocation to emerge. (Liberatore,
2018). As I’ve learned from TH131, one’s ‘vocation’ is equivalent to God’s calling for us, and
therefore part of His plan. We cannot know, however, if our personal ‘why’ is indeed what
God wants for us, too. And, hence, this is where discernment comes in. So, to give a
personal and explicit answer to the question: “What difference does Ignatian Discernment
and Spirituality make in entering into the journey which is reflected by our commitments,”
they help us make sure that our ‘why’ is in line with God’s plans.
The two opposing forces leading the charge for consolation and desolation, God and
Satan respectively, are going to pull you back and forth like tug of war. (Brackley, 46). There
will be a metaphorical bearded man in a white robe and slippers on one of your shoulders,
and a man in all-red-everything with a pitch fork in hand on the other; whispering
contradicting beliefs in your ear, so it is essential that we have our ‘why’ to keep us grounded
and steadfast. But, as previously stressed, it is essential that we accompany this with a
healthy dose of discernment. For Ted Mosby, his ‘why’ is to hope and believe in love, in and
of itself; and his discernment process was anchored on all his past experiences, especially
that of his previous heartbreaks.
For me, Ignatian discernment does not necessarily have to take its full effect
instantaneously. More often than not, it’s our collective experiences that will be the building
blocks of our discernment, because there’s nothing more unique and personal to us than our
experiences. Sometimes, the way we let God manifest Himself to us is through those same
experiences; to the point where they are no longer merely experiences but manifestations of
His presence, grace and love. Even in disheartening and discouraging situations. Especially
then! Because here lies the tougher challenge for us: to find consolation in times of
desolation; or, to put it another way: to move towards God even when the enemy seems to
have its full grasp on you and pulling you away from the light and into the darkness.
To have a clearer perspective of Ted’s journey, here is an abridged version of the
story of how he developed and held on to his ‘why.’ The series starts with Ted’s best friends,
Marshall and Lily, getting engaged, while Ted is left guessing when he’ll even meet the girl
for him. Right on cue, she meets Robin that night. During just his first date with her, Ted
unceremoniously declared his love for her. Robin was, understandably, freaked out.
“Obviously, you can’t tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can’t,”
says Ted. Here you can see how passionate Ted already is about love, but this is the part
where Ted is still impulsive and goes about life purely on emotion. Robin still rejected Ted,
but they remained friends and still hung out a lot. They would eventually admit their feelings
for each other and they start a relationship. After some time, they realize that they want
completely different things and they break up. Both of them would go on to date other
people, with Ted even being engaged to his dermatologist, Stella, who excised his breakup
tattoo following his split with Robin. Unfortunately for Ted, he would be left at the altar by
Stella, after she is reunited with Tony, her high school sweetheart. This was one of the most
devastating chapters in Ted’s journey; one that would almost push Ted to give up on love,
but not quite. The next time that Ted comes across Stella is in an episode called ‘Right
Place, Right Time.’ Ted recounts the particular events that occurred immediately prior to this
encounter and stressed how compelling how life somehow puts us in the right place at the
right time, while still not discounting the conscious decisions that one has to make to arrive
at a certain situation.
 At the end of this episode, this is what Ted so eloquently said: "The great moments
of your life won't necessarily be the things you do; they'll also be the things that happen to
you. Now, I'm not saying you can't take action to affect the outcome of your life, you have to
take action, and you will. But never forget that on any day, you can step out the front door
and your whole life can change forever. You see, the universe has a plan, kids, and that plan
is always in motion. A butterfly flaps its wings, and it starts to rain. It's a scary thought, but
it's also kind of wonderful. All these little parts of the machine constantly working, making
sure that you end up exactly where you're supposed to be, exactly when you're supposed to
be there. The right place at the right time." Here you see how Ted’s line of thinking has
matured. No longer was he the guy who would just let fate handle everything. He recognizes
that there is an aspect of choice that needs to come into play in order to achieve his goals.
Likewise, he is more confident to speak of this thing he calls the ‘universe’ that he said to
have this plan that is always on the move. I would like to believe that what he described as
the ‘universe’ is God and Ted begins to recognize His plan in relation to the journey he is
going through at the moment. And this is, after all, the essence of Ignatian spirituality and
discernment for me: the alignment of His plans with ours.
This aforementioned encounter would prove to be a pivotal one because of what
would happen next. Tony, Stella’s current fiancée whom she left Ted for, was with Stella
during this chance meeting. Feeling sorry for Ted, Tony offers him a job at a university to be
a professor of architecture. Initially, Ted, out of pride, rejected this offer and opted to remain
an architect. However, upon much thought and counsel from his friends, he ultimately took
the job, and he would never look back. This is an explicit instance when Ted discerned
before making a life-altering decision; and it worked out perfectly. He realized that besides
architecture itself, another thing that he loves and is passionate about is speaking in front of
a crowd, so he discerned that accepting this offer would be worth it because he would be
doing what he loves anyway. And he, more than anyone I know, believes in love. When we
stay true and remain consistent with our ‘why,’ the process towards getting to where we
envision to be will just work itself out, and even maybe bring a couple of extra pleasant
surprises along the way. Over the course of his journey, not only did he eventually meet the
love of his life, but he also found the profession he was truly passionate about.
While Ted is starting to take off in his new career, his love life is unfortunately not
following suit; at least not yet. He would go through relationship after relationship, without
having to find longevity in any of them. Ted would finally hit a threshold after disastrously
breaking up with Janet, his last girlfriend before she met the mother. While talking to Janet,
he gave an impassioned speech about his meaning of love that went like this: “If you’re
looking for the word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality and wanting
them to have everything they want no matter how much it destroys you, it’s love. And when
you love someone you just, you…you don’t stop, ever. Even when people roll their eyes, and
call you crazy. Even then. Especially then. You just—you don’t give up. Because if I could
just give up…if I could just, you know, take the whole world’s advice and move on and find
someone else, that wouldn’t be love. That would be… that would be some other disposable
thing that is not worth fighting for.” He is, in fact, talking about Robin in this quote; and so we
come full circle, but we will get back to that later.
There’s a lot to unpack in this quote from Ted. For one, we can once again see the
maturity in the way he expresses his core beliefs. His line of thinking evolved over time,
while still remaining steadfast on his core belief of hoping and believing in love. Eventually,
after all the heartbreaks and failed relationships, he still remained devoted to his
commitment to hold on to hope and find the person whom he will love and share the rest of
his life with. Our ‘why’ provides for us an anchor upon which we can keep our beliefs
grounded and to which we can always go back, when decisions need to be made in the
future. Going back to the quote, Ted, now also recognizes that not only is there an element
of choice when it comes to love; but, on a deeper level, there is an element of commitment
attached to it. And according to Sir Lib from TH151, “Commitments are shaped as
relationships become more fully chosen and more consciously cultivated. This cultivation
involves a choice, promise and an understanding of freedom, but also invites a deeper
awareness of and appreciation for our innermost desires...”
For Ted, he may have already known right off the bat that what he desired was to
find the perfect girl for him. He even has a list of specific characteristics of his ideal partner:
attractive, college-educated, wants two kids (a boy and a girl), likes dogs, does the
crossword, favorite food is lasagna, favorite book is ‘Love in a Time of Cholera’, and plays
bass guitar; among a host of other requirements. Based on how extensive this list is, we can
infer that Ted really knows what he wants. However, he may have desired this for the wrong
reasons at the onset of his journey. He may have felt a certain pressure to find someone
after his two best friends just got engaged, as is evident from his quote in the pilot episode,
“What was I doing? Your Uncle Marshall was taking the biggest step of his life, and me…” In
addition to the reason for embarking on this particular journey, his method of going about it
was a bit questionable, as well. Finding a girl that checks off all the boxes in his list is hard
enough, but how he planned to do so made it an even taller task. “I’m just gonna wait for her
to come to me. I’m done planning the unplannable, so I’ll just let fate take care of it,” says
Ted. Indeed, it is important to have an ideal, or a concrete example of our beliefs. Seeing our
‘why’ in action and in the flesh helps keeps our eyes on the prize, so to speak. For Ted, this
ideal was Marshall and Lily. But he needed to learn to make it happen for himself. It was a
commitment he had to be ready to choose and sustain.
 While this commitment started with a girl named Robin, Ted is now convinced it also
had to eventually come full circle with this same girl. While he was busy trying to win Robin
back, at her wedding with a close friend of theirs, no less, Ted failed to see the bigger picture
that was forming. It was at this same wedding that Ted would meet Tracy, the future mother
of his children, who amazingly checks off all the boxes in Ted’s list of requirements for a
partner. “That’s the funny thing about destiny, it happens whether you plan it or not. It turns
out I was just too close to the puzzle to see the picture that was forming,” Ted said. We can
look at destiny, here, again, as God’s plan which we can only encounter upon serious
discernment. And we won’t be able to perceive or understand it if we don’t, first, take few
steps back to see the bigger picture, that which is beyond ourselves. Admittedly, this venture
is easier said than done, but as I accentuated a while ago, our previous personal
experiences makes this process a little bit easier. We learn to avoid what brought us pain,
but we likewise learn to come out of it stronger than before. In other words, we adapt to
survive. Maybe it’s all part of God’s plan, or maybe it’s not. What matters is where we are
moving towards is a place where there is harmony between our plans and His.
In the season finale Ted said a wonderful quote that beautifully describes his journey
in a nutshell: “It was at times a long and difficult road. But I’m glad it was long and difficult
because if I hadn’t gone through ‘hell’ to get there, the lesson might not have been as clear.”
Herein we can verify that his discernment process was indeed built upon the personal
experiences he has had, especially those that brought him ‘hell’ - those that involves Satan
and the devils pulling him towards the side of desolation. But that’s okay, because his
ultimate experience of consolation in the end - love persevering despite all the setbacks -
was felt more deeply and sincerely because of the long and winding journey that it took to
get there.
In the series, the audience had the luxury of knowing that Ted’s commitment and
devotion to love would all pay off at the end of the day. However, in real life, we do not have
the convenience of a hindsight narrative of how our story will play out. We don’t have a 20-
years-from-now version of ourselves who can reassure us that our commitment turns out the
way you had hoped, and that everything will be worth it in the end. We can’t afford to have
an optimism of inevitability. What we do have is now, or as Caputo puts it; the future present.
It is in this realm that we can choose to commit to our personal ‘why’ and make things
happen under our own power. However, it is also important to not just live but wonder why.
“To have a religious sense of life is to long with a restless heart for a reality beyond reality.”
(Caputo, 15). So, on second thought, it is good that we do have an optimism of the
inevitability, as long as it is anchored on God and is backed up by our personal discernment.
According to St. Augustine, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in God.” In order to get in
touch with Him, however, we must make an effort to dwell into His world and reach Him. We
do this, once again, through prayer and discernment. Prayer is powerful, because we get to
communicate with God. But for me, discernment is more powerful because we get to not
only spend time with Him, but we get to align our plans with His plans, as previously
established. This whole process is very difficult, admittedly; very frightening, even. But, as
Ted Mosby said: “If you're not scared then you're not taking a chance. And if you're not
taking a chance, then what the hell are you doing anyway?” So as I end this essay, I’d like to
counter this sense of fear, with a solid ‘why’ of my own, and that is to serve God at all costs
and bring back to glory to him in whatever way I can. “And if our God is for us, then who
could be against us?” - Romans 8:31