50 things to know about 25.
Resisting the temptation to prove your
marriage
1. Great relationships don’t just happen; they
are created. You have to work at it.
2. If your job takes all of your best energy,
your marriage will suffer.
3. One of the greatest gifts you can give your
spouse is your own happiness.
4. It is possible to love and hate someone at
the same time.
5. When you complain about your spouse to
your friends (which you shouldn’t),
remember that their feedback can be
distorted.
6. The only rules in your marriage are those
you both choose to agree with.
7. It is not conflict that destroys marriage; it
is the cold, smoldering resentment that you
hold for a long time.
8. It’s not what you’ve got, it’s what you do
with what you have.
9. If you think you are too good for your
spouse, think again.
10. Growing up in a happy household doesn’t
ensure a happy marriage, or vice versa.
11. It’s never too late to repair damaged
trust.
12. The real issue is usually not the one you
are arguing about.
13. Love isn’t just a feeling; it is expressed
through our actions.
14. Expectations set us up for
disappointment and resentment.
15. Arguments cannot be avoided, but
destructive arguments can be avoided.
16. One of the greatest gifts you can give
your spouse is focused attention.
17. Even people with happy marriages
sometimes worry that they married the
wrong person.
18. Your spouse cannot rescue you from
unhappiness, but they can help you rescue
yourself.
19. The cost of a lie is far greater than any
advantage you gain from speaking it.
20. Your opinion is not necessarily the truth.
21. Trust takes years to establish and
moments to destroy.
22. Guilt-tripping won’t get you what you
really want.
23. Don’t neglect your friends.
24. If you think, “You are not the person I
married,” you are probably right.
point will win you a lot of points.
26. Generosity of spirit is the foundation of a
good marriage.
27. If your spouse is being defensive, you
might be giving them reasons to be like that.
28. Marriage isn’t 50/50; it’s 100/100.
29. You can pay now or pay later, but the
later you pay, the more interest and
penalties you acquire.
30. Marriage requires sacrifice, but your
benefits outweigh your costs.
31. Forgiveness isn’t a one-time event; it’s a
continuous process.
32. Accepting the challenges of marriage will
shape you into a better person.
33. Creating a marriage is like launching a
rocket: once it clears the pull of gravity, it
takes much less energy to sustain the flight.
34. A successful marriage has more to do
with how you deal with your current reality
than with what you’ve experienced in the
past.
35. Don’t keep feelings of gratitude to
yourself.
36. There is no greater eloquence than the
silence of real listening.
37. One of the greatest questions to ask your
spouse is “How best can I love you?”
38. Marriage can stay fresh over time.
39. Assumptions are fine as long as you
check them before acting upon them.
40. Intention may not be the only thing, but
it is the most important thing.
41. Good sex won’t make your marriage, but
it’ll help.
42. Privacy won’t hurt your marriage, but
secrecy will.
43. Possessiveness and jealousy are born out
of fear, not love.
44. Authenticity is contagious and habit-
forming.
45. If your spouse thinks something is
important, then it is.
46. Marriage never outgrows the need for
romance.
47. The sparkle of a new relationship is
always temporary.
48. There is violence in silence when it’s
used as a weapon.
49. It’s better to focus on what you can do to
make things right, then what your partner
did to make things wrong.
50. If you think marriage counseling is too
expensive, try divorce.
– Excerpt from ‘Fiqh of Love’ seminar by
Al-Maghrib Institute