improving Your Emotional Intelligence

There are many resources available to help you raise your EQ, whether for personal or

professional means. Depending on your goals, you may want to consider receiving

professional help, or whether it would be more appropriate for you to engage in some

self training. Much of the mental health industry is geared toward strengthening

someone's ability to understand and regulate their emotions, cope with stress, and

improve personal relationships. In short, most of therapy is all about EQ, even though it

may not be phrased in exactly those terms.

Many people are hesitant to receive any psychological help or counseling as they may

believe it is a reflection of some disability or defect on their part. This could not be

further from the truth. The fact is that virtually anyone, with any EQ, could benefit from

training or therapy at various points in their lives. Everyone, at one or multiple points in

their lives, has significant emotional challenges they must face. From the loss of a loved

one, or a period of intense stress due to work or finances, to becoming a victim of

violence -- we all face things for which we are not completely equipped. For some

people, that trauma may be in the past, but the results of it can last a lifetime. For

others, a specific incident or challenge may require brief help limited to a short time

frame. While some people are able to easily handle major or complex challenges,

others may struggle emotionally with seemingly simple or minor stress. It is critical for

everyone to understand that we all have different coping mechanisms and resources

and if we need assistance with strengthening our EQ, it is not a reflection of something

we did or didn't do correctly.

Not all methods of raising your EQ have to take place in a therapist's office. Self-help

seminars, books, and even online classes can be highly effective in helping someone

strengthen their EQ and gain important skills and abilities. There are some simple

processes that can help you strengthen your EQ, even working alone at home:

First, develop your ability to manage stress. High levels of stress, whether temporary or

ongoing, can overwhelm your mind and body, making even simple tasks substantially

harder, thus increasing your stress and creating a vicious cycle. In order to regain

control over your life, you have to learn how to rapidly reduce stress. First, work on

recognizing when you are stressed. Obviously, we all have times where we can easily

identify that we are feeling emotional stress. But there are also many times when we

may be experiencing high levels of stress that are affecting our mental and physical well

being when we may not even realize it. When we feel stressed mentally, we usually

recognize it easily; if you have not felt stressed but you find yourself with a shortened

temper or moments of rage or despair, chances are that you are experiencing a lot of

stress. You should also learn to listen to your body which will most definitely

communicate when distressed. Typically, you may find you are physically tensing your

muscles, clenching your fists, grinding your teeth, and so on. You may also struggle

with sleep or appetite; your body will try to communicate with you when it is over-

stressed, so it is important that you learn how to listen.

Once you realize you're stressed, identify what is causing the stress. It may be troubles

at work, concerns about money, problems with personal relationships, such as those

with your spouse or children, or virtually any other aspect of your life. Because we lack

of control over so much of what we do, we are always experiencing stress of some

kind. But when stress is so substantial that it is causing mental and or physical

problems, it is critical to identify what factor or factors are causing the problem.

Next, find ways to decrease or minimize the stress you are feeling. There may be things

directly related to the cause of stress that you can do to help calm yourself. There will

also be plenty of situations where it's not feasible for you to necessarily reduce the

problem, in which case you must reduce how much it affects you emotionally. Many

people find that practicing meditation, yoga, or Tai Chi can help them cope with

stress. Others find that vigorous exercise, extra sleep, listening to music, playing with

pets, or any other positive, tension-easing, or expressive activity is effective. What

works for one person may not work for another, but almost everyone can find something

that helps minimize the stress they feel.

Another key skill in improving your Emotional Intelligence is to learn how to recognize

and manage your emotions. Now that you have learned how to recognize stress, you'll

be better equipped to recognize other experiences and the feelings you have that result

from them. While many times it seems easy to recognize feelings of sadness or anger,

sometimes this is not the case. Many times the emotions we experience may be so

frightening or overwhelming that we ignore or subconsciously deny that they

exist. Dissatisfaction, resentment, disappointment, and even anger can often lie just

under the surface and go unnoticed for a long time. Unfortunately, these negative

emotions often culminate in major periods of upset and can wreak havoc with our lives if

they are not recognized and managed in a timely and appropriate manner. Sometimes it

can even be difficult to recognize and accept positive emotions, such as contentment

and happiness. When we don't learn to recognize happiness and pleasurable emotions,

they may not erupt the way negative emotions do, but they may play an even larger role

in our long-term emotional well-being.

You can increase your recognition of emotions the same way that you have learned it to

recognize stress; your mind and body will communicate with you if you are open to

receiving their messages. Fear, anger, joy, and so on can produce physical responses

as well as mental responses. Your chest may tighten, or your stomach may clench

when you are fearful or angry. You may experience a physical feeling of lightness when

you are relieved, or increased energy when you're happy. Learn how your body

communicates with you and be open to what it tells you.

As you begin to recognize your emotions when you feel them, work to find a good

balance of thoughts and feelings in the decisions you make. The vast majority of your

decisions should not be made solely on how you feel (although there is some scientific

indication that intuition may have some validity), but that doesn't mean your decisions
should be based on logic alone, either. Some decisions can be made using only

objective measures, such as facts; it is imperative to recognize when certain decisions

must integrate your feelings, or the feelings of others, as legitimate factors. Many of the

times our emotions go unrecognized (and likewise mismanaged in the long run) is

because we discredit them, only to discover later that the feelings are still there and do

affect our overall well-being.

Lastly, develop your communication skills. Nonverbal communication exists within our

actions, our facial expressions, body movements, and more. In fact, even when we are

communicating verbally, our nonverbal communication can support or discredit the

words coming out of our mouths. Although recognizing another person's nonverbal

communication is absolutely important, it will become a more natural process for you to

interpret their nonverbal communication as you learn how to control your own.

The more attention you pay to your own body language and facial expressions, not only

will you be able to better communicate your message, you will also become better at

recognizing and interpreting the messages of others. You can work to improve your

body and facial communication by planning your movements prior to having an

interaction with another person. Although it is helpful to do so when you are having an

important conversation, you can also learn to better control your nonverbal

communication before any interaction and plan ahead. For example, if you will be

participating in a meeting at work, decide beforehand how you intend to sit, what you

will do with your hands, and what your facial expressions will be. If you want to project

interest in the discussion, plan to lean forward or sit upright rather than relaxing your

posture. If you want to appear engaged, decide that you will look at the individuals

speaking, rather than doodling on your pad of paper. If you want to communicate that

you are on board with a decision, make a conscious effort to smile, nod your head, and
open your eyes. As you begin to communicate non-verbally, it will become more natural

for you to do so and you won't need to plan ahead; as you progress, you will also learn

to recognize the nonverbal communication cues of others.

In this digital age, it is also important to remember that e-mail, instant messages, and

text messages do not communicate body expression. This is important, because many

statements or jokes made via typing are often misinterpreted, because there is no

context of nonverbal communication. Be sure that when you don't have the opportunity

to use body language or facial expressions, you communicate directly and politely.

Now that you are communicating effectively using body and facial expression, it's

important that you improve your understanding of the nuances of other types of

communication. While most people communicate primarily through words, whether

spoken or written, verbal communication is not the only language people speak. Time,

effort, and gifts are legitimate methods of communication, in addition to verbal and

physical communication. By giving your time, energy, or other resources, you can

communicate to someone what you like, how you feel, your recognition of their feelings,

and so on. Nevertheless, it is absolutely critical to understand that your primary method
of communication may not be the same as that of someone else. Many times, when

there is miscommunication, it is because one person is using some form of language

that the other person does not understand or cannot recognize. Work to identify the way

people around you prefer to communicate, and how they best understand your needs,

as well as how you can understand theirs.

Finally, fine-tune your verbal expression and learn to tackle challenging

conversations. While many people mock the concept of semantics, the fact remains that

miscommunication occurs far less frequently when people are precise with their

language. By speaking simply, using objective terms, and recognizing the perspective of

the person with whom you're communicating, you can minimize the likelihood of

miscommunication. Moreover, as you gain confidence about your ability to effectively

communicate, you will find yourself less fearful of tackling difficult subjects or major

conversations. Too often we avoid uncomfortable discussions because we don't want

any miscommunication to occur, or we are unsure of how to best approach the topic. By

improving your communication skills and gaining confidence in your ability to effectively

communicate, you will be better equipped and less anxious to tackle big subjects. This

readiness and increased ability to communicate will massively increase your EQ, and

increase your success in virtually all areas of life.

 Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace

at this point, you should have a solid understanding that there is tremendous room for the use of
Emotional Intelligence skills in the workplace. In fact, while many major corporations utilize EQ
testing and training to develop those in leadership positions, the reality is that social intelligence
can benefit someone in virtually every field, at virtually every level of business. For example,
consider the following:

 Management and leadership - While many people possess management or leadership

potential based solely on their personality characteristics, those who do not are likely to
appreciate the wisdom that can be gained from increasing their EQ and utilizing that new
knowledge to strengthen their management style. EQ can benefit a manager's interaction with
superiors, staff, and clients.

 Sales and marketing - Perhaps the most obvious area of job performance where Emotional
Intelligence can play a tremendously important role, sales and marketing professionals can
receive many benefits from EQ training. While many aspects of marketing as a field are based
in extensive research, many individual marketing managers and certainly direct salespeople
can benefit from Emotional Intelligence skills. The characteristics most useful within this type
of work are going to be those relating to being able to determine and regulate the emotions and
behaviors of others, typically through methods of persuasion. The persuasive patterns of
behavior typically exhibited by highly successful sales and marketing personnel are often
likely to include both verbal and nonverbal communication -- when in person -- and spoken,
written, and pictured methods of communication when appropriate, such as in advertisements
and other business copy materials.

 Service providers and customer service - When it comes to clients and customers, it's
possible that Emotional Intelligence levels may also positively benefit employees who are able
to assess what someone wants, then meet the need of the customer, sometimes without actually
giving them what it is that they want. Put simply, providing good customer support is
relatively easy when you have someone who is trained and generally has access to whatever it
is the customer wants. What is much more difficult for many people to do, and may be
substantially more difficult for people with lower EQ to do, is to identify and deliver what
 combination of service, products, words, and behaviors will together provide the optimal
results for the company and still meet the needs or desires of the client or customer.

 Human Resources - HR departments sometimes get a bad rap for merely muddying the
waters with paperwork, but in fact play one of the most crucial roles in any given company --
that of counselor. Whether it's by actually being a go-to place for employees to vent, or by
helping develop and improve communications between departments, HR can make the
workplace livable long past when anyone would think it could be. By being able to identify
and respond to the needs of those in a company, including the emotional needs, they can help
smooth the road for employee after employee, while still being sure to follow rules, policies,
and complex laws. on a daily basis, whether it's with dissatisfied employees, other
departments, managers, su
 Administrative support - Although it may not be the first type of employee that leaps to
mind when considering the impact of Emotional Intelligence, the fact is that administrative
and support staff may be able to benefit substantially from improved EQ, as well. These
employees are often in the background, but are genuinely the backbone of many successful
companies. Many of these employees run interference ppliers, or customers. Even more
important to many of us, these are the individuals that help determine how good or bad our day
may be, often without us even realizing it.

But employees are not the only people who can benefit from training in Emotional
Intelligence. Business owners and entrepreneurs have found Emotional Intelligence training to be
helpful to develop their own capacities, as well. Owners and entrepreneurs face many challenges
where they have to be persuasive, charming, and reassuring at any given moment, including
times where they may not be delivering good news. By improving their ability to get a read on
someone, they can often determine how best to approach that individual to achieve their goals -
one of the key purposes behind Emotional Intelligence.

However, there are some significant and substantial problems when it comes to the idea of using
EI training to strengthen your work force. Most notably, there is very little research to
demonstrate that high EQ levels have predictive value in the workplace; in fact, there has been
some research that demonstrates exactly the opposite. Despite the fact that EQ has become well-
known for its popularity in being used in a workplace setting, the fact remains that, by and
large, the research has not shown that high EQ levels - much less the success of training
someone in EQ - predict whether or not someone will be successful in a work
environment. Even the EQs of entrepreneurs and business owners do not seem to
predictably correlate with their success or failure as a whole (though it may be more
predictive in particular fields).

Now, there are some studies that have shown a positive correlation, but others have
demonstrated no correlation, or an inconsistent correlation, between job performance and EQ
levels. Of course, there are exceptions to this -- most notably when dealing with an individual or
an occupation where displaying positive emotions is a critical part of the job. For example, a
salesperson is more likely to benefit from having a higher EQ when interacting with the public,
assuming they are demonstrating positive emotions. It's important to note this distinction,
because much of the idea behind the power of Emotional Intelligence lies in the assumption
that being able to regulate the emotions of others is what would make a person successful at
work, which has now been shown not to be the case. Rather, it is when an employee has the
ability to regulate their own emotions and project those emotions towards other that their
Emotional Intelligence offers them the most benefit in terms of job performance.

Many employers would now be asking what potential benefit there could be in training
employees in Emotional Intelligence skills, given that it may not help predict their job
performance. Although there is no conclusive data, some posit that the primary method by
which Emotional Intelligence strengthens a business is not in improving the job performance of
its employees, but rather in equipping employees with the emotional tools that will help them to
be happier employees. By doing so, a company may be able to lessen its employee turnover,
improve employee morale, and demonstrate a commitment to its employees to meet their
emotional needs.

In order to determine whether any particular individual or company may be able to benefit from
psychologists or consultants in the workplace environment, it is suggested that you directly
contact such companies to determine the likelihood of success for whatever your particular goals
may be. Simply remember to be wary of any consultants offering wild claims that their
techniques will benefit all of your employees and predict how well they will do in terms of job
performance. Rather, focus on companies that want to equip your staff with knowledge that
may be of benefit to them.

when it comes to the ethical quandaries of utilizing EQ testing and training in a work
environment, there are some very important considerations you must make. If you have been
paying attention throughout this course, many of these considerations have already been
identified. Primarily you will need to consider what your purposes and goals in testing
and/or training your employees in EQ may be. Most importantly, you must recognize the
limits of both EQ testing and training. Because you'll likely have many employees who have
mental health conditions, personality disorders, or who may be on the autism spectrum,
you must consider the ethics of evaluating your staff (or having someone else evaluate your
staff) for any purpose that may include some type of judgment based on their results. Since
you now know the limits of EQ in predicting job success, you should understand that not
only is it unethical to judge an employee or potential employee based on EQ testing that
may not be appropriate for their cognitive or personality functions, it is also impractical and
inefficient to do so.
Of course, providing EQ testing and training to employees so they are better able to handle
the challenges of a work environment, or to overcome their personal challenges, is completely
appropriate. The real trick of using EQ testing and training to be purposeful may actually be to
ensure that you, as an employer, never see the results of someone's test. If your goal is genuinely
to strengthen their abilities to cope emotionally with challenges, there is nothing to be gained
from your knowledge of their abilities (or lack thereof). In fact, you are more likely to get
accurate assessments completed when they know they are not going to be evaluated or judged by
you as an employer, but that you are providing the assessment and training so they are better
equipped to meet their own needs.

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

EQ and Personal Relationships

As we look into the implications of EQ on both personal relationships and job performance, we
will examine how Emotional Intelligence can affect these areas, as well as the ethical
implications of doing so. Since a sizable aspect of Emotional Intelligence, as a whole, relates to
the regulation of other people's emotions, the moral and ethical questions raised by this process
must be considered. Similarly, if you are a business owner or manager and are considering using
EQ to train employees, assess a possible promotion, and so on, it is again necessary to challenge
your rights and responsibilities in doing so. First, we identify the ways that high EQ can affect
our relationships.

When it comes to one's personal life, there are certainly going to be a wide range of views
regarding what is, and is not, appropriate. The fact is that social interaction, to some degree, not
only impacts, but actually determines the success or failure of most (if not all) of our personal
relationships. Although there are some relationships that may be sustained without any
expectations on one side or another, these are very rare and usually limited to parent-child
relationships (and are certainly not always applicable then, either). Sustaining ongoing
relationships with our family members, friends, and romantic partners requires some amount of
Emotional Intelligence. In fact, some of what determines if a romantic relationship or friendship
is going to be successful may actually be determined largely by the compatibility of two
individuals' levels of Emotional Intelligence. While background experiences, values, and other
characteristics are extremely important when determining compatibility, the level of each
person's EQ is likewise important in determining whether a relationship will be successful.
That said, it isn't as simple as the level of EQ each partner has, but also the capability level of
multiple aspects or domains of EQ and the compatibility (or lack thereof) between two
individuals' EQ. Put simply, if two people had excellent Emotional Intelligence scores, it may
not be as important as if other areas of their strengths and weaknesses are, or are not, compatible
with each other.

For example, one person may be phenomenal at memory but terrible at communication; if their
partner is great with communication but struggles with emotional security, the two may be
incompatible even if their overall EQ scores are similar.

Furthermore, aspects of Emotional Intelligence that may generally be positive, may not be
appropriate for a particular relationship based on the experiences, as well as the Emotional
Intelligence of the other party. For example, a certain level of charm and charisma can certainly
be considered an aspect of Emotional Intelligence; they help regulate the emotions of others with
the purpose of achieving a specific goal (whether it is receiving a vote or a goodnight
kiss). However, some people demonstrate a particular skill in recognizing attempts to charm and
may overlook the other attributes of their potential partner, due to a prior bad relationship with
someone who was gifted with charm, but was an emotionally unhealthy partner. Simply, our
prior experiences can predispose us to interpret certain EQ strengths and weaknesses in ways that
may not be entirely accurate for the individual in front of us at any given moment. Because the
human experience is so wide ranging, it is critical to understand that these variations in
experience and background may affect the interpretation of one person regarding the behaviors
or demonstrated social intelligence of another individual; we may easily find ourselves being
prejudicial toward certain EQ attributes or weaknesses, and we may also find ourselves as
victims of another's prejudices in these areas.

Similarly, as many people have discovered throughout their lives, it can also be a challenge to
get those with whom we have already had a previous relationship to recognize the changes that
we make to our Emotional Intelligence. In fact, it is sometimes difficult for us to remember,
ourselves, that we have grown and changed emotionally. It's very common for people with a long
history together to struggle with not falling into old patterns of behavior, including those that are
damaging and unproductive. For example, two siblings who have since developed better EQ
and resulting habits may still gripe and grumble and behave the way they did as children
when they are around each other. In fact, the people who have known us the longest have
usually seen us at times when our EQ was not where it should have been; these individuals,
thus, are often able to provoke us emotionally, stripping away many of the changes we have
worked hard to make within ourselves. Old friends and immediate family sometimes have
the power to undo years of EQ bolstering with incredible speed.

So what are the ethical issues regarding personal relationships and EQ? Due to the nature of
personal relationships, it stands to reason there are many potential ethical pitfalls. When
someone engages in a personal relationship, especially if they are dependent upon the other
person -- like a child -- or have chosen to enter a relationship of their own volition -- like a
spouse -- there must exist a certain level of trust within the relationship. In fact, many hold on
to the belief that someone who would violate the trust they are given by a person they are close
to would be an individual of particularly low moral character.
Unfortunately, having a particularly high EQ, along with the trust of another person, certainly
has the potential to be highly destructive and damaging, but it doesn't have to be. While the value
inherent to Emotional Intelligence, that of the ability to regulate the emotions of others, can
potentially lead to destructive and manipulative behavior, it can also serve a positive
purpose. Wearing your husband's favorite dress on a special date can be a positive use of
Emotional Intelligence. Teaching your children to rely upon you to care for them when they
jump into the water at a swimming pool is also a result of skills found in EQ, along with
(usually) evidence that they can trust you based on past experience.

Emotional Intelligence places a high value on one's ability to manipulate someone else into
certain feelings or behaviors to serve a purpose. When it comes to personal relationships, you
want to make sure that you are not misusing your Emotional Intelligence skills. In business, you
will likely be using your EQ skills for a number of different reasons, but when it comes to your
personal life, a good rule of thumb as to whether it is ethical or moral for you to use your EQ
skills, is to question your motivations. If you are trying to get someone to do something that is
positive, healthy, or helpful for them, you are probably making the right decision and using your
EI powers for good. Similarly, if you are using your skills for your own benefit and that of the
other person in the relationship -- such as complimenting your wife -- this should usually be
okay, as well. Alternatively, if the purpose of your use of Emotional Intelligence seeks primarily
or exclusively to serve your own needs or desires -- such as seducing someone into bed -- then
you probably shouldn't do it. This is, in many ways, akin to the idea that if your behaviors and
words are not based in integrity, and you are relying solely on your use of Emotional
Intelligence, you should probably rethink your choices. Whereas if you utilize your Emotional
Intelligence skills in a way that is not meant to deceive, but rather to convey your genuine
thoughts or feelings, it is probably ethically okay to do so.

Most of the time, when it comes to personal relationships, your actions will probably be very
natural and you may not even process that you are utilizing your EQ skills. For some people, it
does take purposeful thought and effort, even when it is completely genuine, as we are not all
given the same natural Emotional Intelligence. But again, this is another opportunity to
appreciate the fact that many Emotional Intelligence skills can be learned and your
weaknesses can likely be transformed into strengths with some time and effort.

When discussing personal relationships and the role of Emotional Intelligence, it is also
important to remember that not all social intelligence skills are about recognizing and
regulating the emotions of others. For an individual's mental well being, it is absolutely vital
that they learn how to recognize and regulate their own emotions. In fact, the inability or
limited ability to do so may contribute to being one of the primary reasons that personality
disorders are considered psychiatric disorders, rather than simply cognitive. For an
individual who does not know how to recognize their own feelings, it is virtually impossible
to regulate them; those struggling with borderline personality disorder or histrionic personality
disorder are known for having limited ability to regulate their own emotions. Many of us,
including those who are neurotypical and lacking mental or personality disorders, are able to
recognize our own emotions, but may not always know how to regulate them
appropriately. By increasing our own Emotional Intelligence, we are better able to recognize
patterns and alter our behaviors to better handle our own emotions. This also is incredibly
important when considering interpersonal relationships, as it helps us better learn what we do
and do not want, and what we can and cannot handle.

7. Criticism of the Theoretical Foundation and Measures of Assessment of Emotional

Intelligence

Now that we have explored the different models of Emotional Intelligence and briefly discussed
the positive aspects of Emotional Intelligence as a whole, it's time to recognize the many
criticisms of the EQ concept, and of measurement methods of Emotional Intelligence.

One of the primary criticisms of the theoretical foundation of EQ is the assumption made
within certain models of EQ that Emotional Intelligence is a form of true
intelligence. Intelligence has been defined in a variety of ways within different fields and
typically includes concepts such as logic, understanding, abstract thought, self awareness,
ability to learn, problem solving, communication, and so on. Within the field of psychology,
there are different approaches to human intelligence, the most famous of which is
psychometrics.
Psychometrics is the measure of certain cognitive abilities and includes IQ, as well as some
scholastic measurements. Some psychologists also recognize a general intelligence factor. While
most IQ tests will measure certain cognitive functions, such as pattern recognition and natural
language skills, Emotional Intelligence typically measures other cognitive processes, such as
memory, rapid decision-making, and ability to retrieve general knowledge.
 Both of these concepts relate closely with the idea of Emotional Intelligence, and some
psychologists argue that Emotional Intelligence quotients are merely aspects of general
intelligence. Defining intelligence is controversial and certainly leads to some of the challenges
with getting EQ recognized as a form of legitimate intelligence.

Historically speaking, there are two definitions of intelligence that have been proposed by
experts in various fields. First, 52 researchers put forth the following proposed definition of
intelligence: "A very general mental capability that, among other things, involves the ability to
reason, plan, solve problems, think abstractly, comprehend complex ideas, learn quickly, and
learn from experience. It is not merely book learning, and narrow academic skill, or test-taking
smarts. Rather, it reflects a broader and deeper capability for comprehending our surroundings -
catching on, making sense of things, or figuring out what to do."
Alternatively, a 1995 report that was published by the Board of Scientific Affairs of the
American Psychological Association defined intelligence as the following: "Individuals differ
from one another in their ability to understand complex ideas, to adapt effectively to the
environment, to learn from experience, to engage in various forms of reasoning, to overcome
obstacles by taking thought. Although these individual differences can be substantial, they're
never entirely consistent: A given person's intellectual performance will vary on different
occasions, in different domains, as judged by different criteria. Concepts of intelligence are
attempts to clarify and organize this complex set of phenomena. Although considerable clarity
has been achieved in some areas, no such conceptualization has yet answered all of the important
questions, and none commands universal assent. Indeed, when two dozen prominent theorists
were recently asked to define intelligence, they gave two dozen, somewhat different,
definitions."

Obviously, it is easy to see why some criticize Emotional Intelligence as a form of true
intelligence, given that it remains essentially impossible for psychologists to define what
incorporates intelligence itself. This hotly contested issue is often considered one of semantics
that may play an important role in developing the psychological theories of Emotional
Intelligence, but may not be particularly relevant to many of the people who utilize concepts of
EQ in a practical arena.

Why does it matter? As just mentioned, it may not matter at all to people who are attempting to
utilize the concepts of EQ to better themselves or others. Within the field of psychology, it does
matter, primarily because prior to the development of Emotional Intelligence theories, the
general psychological world had defined and established theoretical distinctions between certain
abilities, skills, habits, attitudes, personality traits, and emotional states. As EI theories have been
developed, it has resulted in some dissent within the field, as it combines many of these qualities
into this concept of EI, removing them from being distinctly different constructs.
Another of the more popular criticisms of Emotional Intelligence is whether or not it has the
ability to generate any accurate predictions regarding an individual's success, although most
models claim they do have varying predictive value. Some of the research that seems to support
some predictive value within Emotional Intelligence may make accurate predictions, according
to these critics, but they may be predicting things not based on a genuine idea of Emotional
Intelligence, so much as on personality characteristics that could have been predicted using a
personality assessment, rather then being a genuinely unique to the EQ concept.

When it comes to criticisms regarding the measurement of EQ, it is easy to see why the majority
of EQ measurement assessments are heavily criticized for reasons already discussed. Most
specifically, the arguments typically involve heavy criticism of the use of self report that many of
the EI models rely upon. But the self reports are not the only cause for concern, according to
those offering critiques about EI measurement methods.

One of the more obvious criticisms is that some of the models -- particularly the Ability Model --
does not measure ability, but rather measures conformity. Because the measures of the Ability
Model require a comparison be made between an individual and others who have taken the
assessment on a global scale, using common patterns of social skills, some critics argue that this
is a measure of conformity far more than actual ability on an individual basis. The Ability Model
is heavily criticized for other reasons, as well; it is accused of measuring knowledge more so
than ability (again, thus making the Ability Model not a form of true intelligence). The Trait
Model, and some other models, are also criticized as measuring personality characteristics and
general intelligence, rather then a distinct Emotional Intelligence. There are some critiques that
identify the use of Emotional Intelligence, when serving the express needs of a business or
corporation, to sometimes disregard any potential stresses or psychological disturbances due to
EI assessments, and training that does not also address an individual's general psychological state
or the use of Emotional Intelligence techniques in other areas of life.

Of course, the main criticism of measurement of Emotional Intelligence always returns to the
issue of self report. Although there are models of EI that do not rely solely on self report, many
of them do, making it particularly challenging to verify the results according to psychological
standards. While acknowledging that there are certainly studies where self report is the only
possible method of measurement, it is nevertheless ideal for other forms of measurement to be
used whenever possible. Self reports are typically looked down upon for a number of
reasons. First, it may simply reflect the individual's interpretation of the question and (when
applicable) potential answers. A sound assessment should be composed of clear and
unambiguous questions and answers that have been fully vetted before use. Nevertheless, when
an individual is performing a self assessment, they may easily interpret a question or answer
differently than it was meant even under the best circumstances. Thus, false data is produced.
A second very common concern with self reporting is when people lie. The fact is that people
often want to make themselves appear to be as successful or capable as possible. Particularly if
an assessment is being conducted by an individual's place of work, or a contractor is brought in
who will be sharing results with the employer, the subject will obviously want to appear as
capable as possible -- sometimes resulting in an inauthentic assessment. Of course, false reports
can be given a in a self report by individuals who do not mean to lie, but who simply perceive
themselves in a way that may not provide an accurate reflection of their Emotional
Intelligence. People tend to want to believe they are capable and successful in a number of ways
that may not be accurate. These individuals will have inaccurate assessments, though they never
meant to answer disingenuously.

8. Emotional Intelligence, Personality Disorders, and Individuals on the Autism Spectrum

Thus far, we have identified the various models of Emotional Intelligence, how it interacts with
personality characteristics, and common criticisms of EQ. All of these previous lessons are
contingent upon the Emotional Intelligence of a neurotypical person lacking any major
psychological or personality disorders. But the reality is that an astonishing number of people
fall into these groups and an EQ assessment may produce radically different results that may not
accurately reflect their Emotional Intelligence, as a whole.

For individuals with major psychological conditions, such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and
so on, the results of their assessment may vary considerably based upon the severity of their
condition, their use (or lack) of medication, and participation (or lack thereof) in counseling or
therapy. Nevertheless, these conditions, while affecting the thoughts and behaviors of these
individuals, will not be discussed in depth within this course as properly medicated individuals
with a psychological disorder are typically able to moderate themselves and provide a fairly
accurate EQ assessment. Individuals with personality disorders, or those on the autism spectrum,
can actually provide a greater challenge in establishing their EQ.

There are numerous personality disorders that may affect anyone on the receiving end of an EQ
assessment. Because personality disorders are not typically as well known by the general public
as many of the major psychological disorders, many employers would be surprised to find how
many of their employees have psychological disorders. This is the same for those on the autism
spectrum, as well. While recognizing autism in children has become better understood by the
general public in recent years, how autism presents itself in adults remains a mystery to most of
the general public. In fact, there are many individuals on the autism spectrum, especially those
with Asperger's Syndrome (a high functioning form of autism), who may be unaware themselves
that they are on the autism spectrum, as autism was not nearly as well known or tested for during
the childhood of many of today's adult workers.

Just as we have already explored how integral a role personality plays in Emotional Intelligence,
it should come as no surprise to find that personality disorders can dramatically alter a person's
Emotional Intelligence in a number of ways. First, it is necessary to understand what constitutes
a personality disorder and how accurate or inaccurate some of the things you anticipate about
personality disorders may be, especially when it comes to Emotional Intelligence.

"Personality disorders" refers to a group of mental disorders that are characterized by generally
accepted standards of unproductive or maladaptive behaviors, inner experiences, and cognition
that are exhibited in a number of contexts. Personality disorders typically reflect behaviors and
thought processes that are substantially different from those accepted by an individual's
culture. Personality disorders typically show these alterations from accepted norms of behavior
early in an individual's life and are, relatively speaking, inflexible.
Some personality disorders can be successfully managed, but they are often considered
indicative of emotional distress and can often be debilitating. While personality disorders are not
the same as major psychiatric disorders, many of them are co-morbid, frequently occurring
within the same individual. An estimated 40 percent to 60 percent of psychiatric patients are
diagnosed with a personality disorder, which makes it the most frequent of all psychiatric
diagnoses.

Many individuals exhibit some signs of a personality disorder, but in order to meet diagnostic
criteria, the patterns of behavior and/or thought must be substantial enough that they cause
considerable disruption in personal, social, or occupational functioning. Moreover, the thought
patterns and behaviors will be consistent throughout many different scenarios, whereas a person
without a personality disorder, but who demonstrates some characteristics of a personality
disorder, are often able to mitigate their behaviors -- or they may only show certain behaviors
under particular circumstances.

There are three clusters of personality disorders, as defined by the American Psychiatric
Association; there are also a few other instances of a personality disorder that do not fall in one
of these clusters.
 Cluster A. This cluster is composed of personality disorders that are primarily odd or
eccentric in nature, including paranoid personality disorder (one of the more commonly known
disorders, wherein the individual displays patterns of irrational suspicion and mistrust of
others, often assuming that others are out to get them or hurt them). There is also schizoid
personality disorder, which is characterized by restricted emotional expression and a lack of
interest in social relationships, as well as schizotypal personality disorder, which demonstrates
a pattern of extreme discomfort with interacting socially, including distorted cognition and
perceptions.

 Cluster B. This cluster is composed of erratic, emotional, and dramatic disorders. Within this
cluster, there are four personality disorders recognized: antisocial personality disorder,
borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, and narcissistic personality
disorder. Antisocial personality disorder is a pattern of disregard for the rights of others; most
people with antisocial personality disorder lack the capacity for empathy. Those with
borderline personality disorder struggle with instability in relationships, self image, and
identity which often leads to impulsive acts as well as self harm; a key feature of an individual
with borderline personality disorder is an inability to properly control their
emotions. Histrionic personality disorder demonstrates a pervasive pattern of excessive
emotions and attention-seeking behaviors. An individual with narcissistic personality disorder
is likely to demonstrate patterns of grandiosity, a lack of empathy, and a deep-seated need for
admiration and attention.

 Cluster C. The cluster C group consists of the anxious or fearful disorders, such as avoidant
personality disorder, dependent personality disorder, and obsessive-compulsive personality
disorder (another one of the more commonly known disorders). Avoidant personality disorder
is characterized by severe feelings of social inhibition and inadequacy, as well as extreme
sensitivity to negative evaluation or criticism. In avoidant personality disorder, we can
recognize how common it is to feel some characteristics of these disorders; many of us feel
sensitive to criticism and have some level of social discomfort, but most of us are still able to
function and go about our daily lives, including job reviews and uncomfortable social
outings. Someone genuinely struggling with avoidant personality disorder is likely to structure
their entire lives around avoiding those exact situations which, for the rest of us, merely occur
at varying levels of discomfort. Dependent personality disorder describes a pervasive need to
be cared for by others. Lastly, obsessive-compulsive personality disorders are characterized by
an obsessive need to conform to particular rules and to exercise control, even over things
where it is irrational to expect to have control.

These are the top specific personality disorders recognized by the American Psychological
Association. There is also generalized personality disorder, and it is possible for some
personality disorders to develop resulting directly from the effects of a medical condition that
alters one's cognition.
When it comes to the autism spectrum, many people are only familiar with classical autism and
have limited knowledge of other conditions within the autism spectrum. Moreover, many people
make the mistake believing there is only one "type" of autism, meaning that frequently people
assume that all autistic individuals have roughly the same capabilities and
characteristics. Anyone who has known more than one person with classic autism, or is on the
autism spectrum, knows that is not the case. The three most commonly accepted conditions on
the autism spectrum include classic autism, Asperger's Syndrome, and PDD-NOS.

Classical autism is typically characterized by delays or abnormal functioning, which is often

displayed around the age of three or four. The delay or abnormal functioning may be in the
domain of social interaction, often demonstrates repetitive actions and challenges with social
interaction, and may have cognitive delays ranging from slight to disabling.

Those with Asperger's syndrome, however, typically do not suffer from cognitive delays -- or
they may have only mild cognitive delays; and deviance from common social interactions and
behaviors usually is not displayed in early language development, such as it is in classic
autism. Many individuals, particularly adults, with Asperger's syndrome may not be aware of it
and can often be mistaken for merely being odd or weird.

PDD-NOS is considered to be an atypical form of autism and is sometimes mistaken for

Asperger's syndrome, as both are typically higher functioning than classic autism. In PDD-NOS,
symptoms may be very mild, or may only present in one domain, such as difficulty with social
interaction. Most typically, people with this diagnosis may demonstrate pervasive patterns of
social difficulties, such as a lack of reciprocal social interaction or stereotyped behaviors; some
of these characteristics are similar to some personality disorders, but within an individual may
not meet the criteria for a specific developmental or psychological disorder.

Given what you now know about personality disorders and the autism spectrum, it should be
evident that these variables between one individual and the next may dramatically affect results
of an Emotional Intelligence test. Those on the autism spectrum are literally wired differently in
their brains; some personality disorders may be, as well. Moreover, many individuals on the
spectrum, or who may have a personality disorder, operate cognitively in a relatively typical
fashion when it comes to certain types of work. Many of them can learn various coping
mechanisms that optimize their capabilities and minimize their personal challenges and are
consequently able to sustain long-term work and personal relationships.

Nevertheless, an EQ test is unlikely to measure the exact same qualities in an individual with
these differences, as compared with those who are neurotypical and without any psychological or
psychiatric conditions. These results would obviously be tremendously skewed, even though it
may not affect the aspects of their lives for which they are undergoing an EQ test. Moreover,
even if a test were to demonstrate an accurate reflection of an individual's EQ (after all, for
example, those on the autism spectrum are lacking in social skills as part of their actual
diagnosis), its usefulness would still be highly suspect. Training an individual on the autism
spectrum to increase their EQ is likely to be wasted effort, as their brains simply work differently
than those who are neurotypical. While the individual may be able to alter their own abilities and
develop coping skills to some degree, it typically requires specific training and expertise to do
so.

When an individual seems to do adequately well at their job, but are undergoing testing for EQ,
it's imperative for anyone interpreting the results to bear in mind these cognitive and personality
differences. Although many of these people may not show positive or comparable results, it is
unfair -- and more importantly, inaccurate -- to hold them to a totally different standard, and it's
critical to understand that many individuals with personality disorders, and many on the autism
spectrum, are unaware they have these differences. While skills related to EQ are certainly
valuable and purposeful, a lack of certain EQ skills does not mean that a person is incapable or
incompetent to perform their job; it may simply mean they are operating on a different basis than
others.

motional Intelligence & Borderline Personality Disorder

Professionals Information
Kathryn Gardner
Software
University of Central Lancashire
October 2006 General Psychology Sites
Online Books & Journals
Over the past decade or so there has been an increasing interest in the term “Emotional
Intelligence” or “EI”. In 1996 Daniel Goleman made some grand claims about EI; he claimed
that EI is twice as important as IQ for success in life and made the EI concept a household
name. However, these claims have little scientific support, and it was John Mayer and Peter
Salovey in the late 1980s early 1990s who actually coined the term “Emotional Intelligence”,
later redefining the term in 1997 and proposing a model describing EI as a real cognitive
ability similar to IQ. Mayer and Salovey currently suggest that EI involves four main
cognitive based skills: “…the ability to perceive accurately, appraise, and express emotion;
the ability to access and/or generate feelings when they facilitate thought; the ability to
understand emotion and emotional knowledge; and the ability to regulate emotions to promote
emotional and intellectual growth.”

Is Emotional Intelligence Twice as Powerful as IQ?

So what about Goleman’s claims then? Is there now evidence to suggest that EI is twice as
important as IQ in predicting life success? Have we found an alternative route to success for
those with lower than average IQ? Unfortunately, the excitement of this possibility was short-
lived. There are now numerous studies showing that EI is not twice as important as IQ in
predicting successful life outcomes. However, what we do now know is that EI can have a
significant impact on success in many life domains. EI affects our academic, occupational,
personal and mental health functioning. Just like there are individual differences in happiness
and self-esteem, so too do individuals differ with regard to their levels of EI: some individuals
possess high levels of EI, others may have deficits in certain areas of EI but not others, and
others may have generally low levels of EI.

The Importance of Emotional Intelligence for Mental Health

Research on emotional intelligence has moved on in recent years. There are now a whole host
of studies showing that EI is important for mental health. Low EI has been associated with
depression, anxiety, loneliness, low self-esteem, suicidal feelings, aggressive behaviour, poor
impulse control, poor interpersonal adjustment, increased stress, increased alcohol and drug
use and even personality disorder. In contrast, high EI has been linked with increased well-
being such as greater satisfaction with life and increased happiness.

In addition, research has shown that different components of EI may be implicated in different
mental health problems. For example, Ciarrochi, Deane and Anderson (2002) found that low
emotion regulation was related to increased depression, whilst perception of emotion was not.
Emotional Intelligence and Borderline Personality Disorder

Although there are now many studies pointing to the negative impact of low EI on a person’s
mental health, there is still a great deal of research that needs to be done in this area. Only a
small handful of studies have actually examined each of the mental health difficulties
described above, with many studies suffering from inadequate methodology e.g., the
continuous use of university students as participants means that the majority of research
findings do not apply to members of the general public.

The relationship between EI and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) has only been
examined in one or two studies. According to the DSM-IV-TR (Diagnostic and Statistical
Manual of Mental Disorders Fourth Edition Text Revision, 2000), BPD is “a pervasive pattern
of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity
that begins by early adulthood and is present in a variety of contexts” (p. 706). BPD is a
disorder characterised by clear and profound deficits in the ability to understand and regulate
ones emotions and moods; disturbances in emotion are associated with most of the DSM-IV
BPD diagnostic criteria (Levine, 1992). It therefore comes as no big surprise that researchers
Leible and Snell found that individuals with BPD had deficits in several aspects of their
emotional intelligence. Despite these findings though, we are actually a long way away from
developing EI based programs and therapies to assist those with BPD, as much research
remains to be done if we are to really discover exactly what components of EI play key roles
in which aspects of BPD. That said, it has been suggested that the BPD features of affective
instability, chronic feelings of emptiness and inappropriate, intense anger are all indicative of
problems in emotion processing, or to put it another way, these criteria are suggestive of low
EI. Similarly, impulsivity, self-harm, fear of abandonment and dissociative symptoms (other
characteristics of BPD) can all be viewed as abnormal responses to emotions, so those with
low EI might display these behaviours and characteristics due to insufficient ability to manage
their emotions. We could also say the same about problems with interpersonal relationships
and identity disturbance, as both areas will be affected by how a person expresses, uses and
manages their emotions on a daily basis. So it seems obvious really; we’d typically expect
low EI to be related to all the main features of BPD, although research it is very rarely so
clear cut!

Seeking to determine whether deficits in EI are associated with BPD may not seem like the
most innovative scientific research question, given that researchers such as Marsha Linehan
have spent decades developing theories of BPD that have a strong focus on emotion
dysregulation, a concept that shares many similarities with EI. Linehan is currently the
founder of one of the most effective treatment for BPD (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy: DBT;
and I say “one of” because there are other effective treatments), based on her theory of the
aetiology (i.e., causes) of the disorder. Amongst other things, DBT has a strong focus on
helping people with BPD control and regulate their emotions, skills which would also be the
focus of any treatment approach aimed at developing and enhancing emotional intelligence.
To my knowledge though, DBT is currently only being offered to clients or researched in very
few places around the UK. It is also an intensive and costly treatment (as discussed later) so
developing new treatments (based on EI perhaps) could be one way forward.

Emotional Intelligence based Treatments for BPD

If in five years there are twenty more studies showing that low EI is associated with BPD, and
also which aspects of EI are related to certain parts of BPD, does this then mean that we’ve
found some sort of magical solution to treating BPD? That is, will treatments based on EI be
effective for BPD? Well, it is highly unlikely that a therapy based solely on developing EI
skills would be sufficient enough to treat a complex disorder such as BPD. Personality
disorders such as BPD develop as a result of a complex interaction of factors, including abuse,
certain life events and neurochemical imbalances. Consequently, treatment will never be
simple. But this doesn’t mean that EI based therapy will be useless. For example, we could set
up EI group therapy programs which would allow many people to attend at once to learn
various emotional coping skills whilst they wait for more intensive therapy such as DBT.
There are similar group treatments out there at the moment, but not ones that are based
directly on EI models and core EI skills. In the UK our national health system currently has a
2 year waiting list to see a therapist, and so we urgently need treatments and programmes that
can help people cope in the meantime, whilst they are on such waiting lists. EI programmes
could be the way forward. Furthermore, EI-based skills are often the focus of Marsha
Linehan's Dialectical Behaviour Therapy which is an effective treatment for BPD.
Alternatively, we could use EI based programs alongside more intense therapies, to act as an
additional prop or support system. Either way, the teaching of certain emotion regulation
skills targeted in EI therapies could have beneficial effects such as reducing the frequency of
behaviours associated with BPD, such as self-harm.

What Might Programs and Therapies based on Emotional Intelligence Involve Exactly?

Individual psychological treatment such as DBT is both costly and timely, both to the NHS
and ourselves if we opt for private treatment. Group therapy is a more cost effective
treatment, and whilst there are differing views among professionals regarding the usefulness
of group therapy for those with BPD, it can often be an effective treatment. For example,
clients who have trouble recognising problems with their behaviour might be able to
overcome their denial by observing these behaviours in others. Consequently, I therefore
believe that one of the best ways that EI programs could have a positive impact would be in a
group setting (as discussed above). In DBT, the teaching of emotion regulation skills is a skill
that is taught in group therapy by someone other than the client’s individual therapist.
“‘Emotion modulation skills’ are ways of changing distressing emotional states and 'distress
tolerance skills' include techniques for putting up with these emotional states if they can not
be changed for the time being” (Kiehn & Swales, 1995). EI treatment group members can be
taught skills such as: recognising and identifying their own and others emotions;
understanding their emotional patterns as opposed to being overwhelmed by them; expressing
their emotions appropriately and in adaptive ways; and reflecting upon their emotional
experiences. Clearly group therapy is not the only option though; it is also possible that EI
based skill development could be incorporated into other existing one-to-one treatments. So
far EI research has had little influence on existing clinical practice, as there is still much to be
researched about this construct. Only time will tell whether BPD treatment such as EI based
group therapy, really is the way forward.

Contributing to Research on Emotional Intelligence

If you would like to help to advance research on EI you can do so by participating in a study
being run by myself at the University of Central Lancashire. The research is all conducted
over the internet and simply involves completing a number of online questionnaires. The main
purpose of the research is to investigate the relationship between emotional intelligence and
different aspects of personality associated with BPD (e.g., changes in mood, impulsive
behaviour). The research is not about showing what causes BPD (e.g., emotion regulation
difficulties), but about seeing what psychological factors (e.g., EI) relate to the disorder. If EI
is important to BPD (which I'm sure it is and there is evidence to suggest this will be the
case), then this is a step toward showing that EI programs may be valuable for those suffering
from the disorder. Everyone who takes part can receive their score and feedback on one of the
most widely used (scientifically developed) EI instruments available, as well as a
comprehensive EI Workbook. Finally, you can also receive feedback on your current levels of
Happiness and Satisfaction with Life. The project is running from around October 2006 until
May 2009. If you want to participate go to www.e-intell.co.uk or if you require further
information please contact Kathryn Gardner at the University of Central Lancashire using the
following e-mail address: KJGardner@uclan.ac.uk

Kathryn Gardner
University of Central Lancashire
October 2006